(Short Voice Only) The Bagel Years | #1653 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | 31st July 2026

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only, only, only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

My website is jasonnewland.com where you can download my recordings. All the latest recordings I do are available and you can actually download all six versions at once for each new recording. I also upload my recordings to Instagram and TikTok.

I used to upload them to X but X wouldn't stop allowing it for whatever reason. Perhaps I was too controversial or maybe I just wasn't controversial enough. Yeah I think if I'm just going to have a look at the oh it's because there was no hate speech.

They don't allow videos without hate speech on there. So I'm still in the process, the last bits of process of uploading my hypnosis videos to the podcast called Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily. So that's still in, still doing that.

There's only about 10 left, 10 different recordings left to upload which is good. And then I will start to look at the next one which I think will be Sleep Hypnosis. It's never ending.

And then I've also, I need to look at the images and start adding the images because all the re-uploads pretty much I haven't added any images. All the newest recordings I'm doing you know I just add images like I normally do. So there's yeah there's still a fair bit of work to do to get that all kind of up to date.

Because Apple Podcasts, I think Spotify tends, I think it uses the podcasts from SoundCloud. And sometimes I forget to add my recordings to SoundCloud because I've got two podcasts on SoundCloud. The Let Me Bore You To Sleep and the other one Hypnosis For Sleeping Deeply.

One day I'll actually remember the name of my own podcasts. I've just got too many, that's what it is. 2, 2, 2, 2, 5, 7, 18 too many.

So if I forget to add them, it looks like Apple or no rather Spotify has not updated. But it is up to date it's just I haven't updated my end. So I'm trying to do that.

Also on my website I'm trying to remember to update each recording as well as I do it. So because in the past I would just I'd focus on Spreaker, focus on getting them uploaded. So it went on to Apple.

Not intentionally to ignore Spotify, but just because I don't get much traffic on Spotify generally. So I kind of sometimes I'll put it off for a few hours and I'll you know I'll do the SoundCloud later. Sometimes I even leave it a couple of days.

It's not on purpose, but just you know I'm doing other things and. But now I'm going to prioritize SoundCloud to do that. In the same process at the same time as it were, you know, as I'm uploading the podcasts to Spreaker so that they then you know go to Apple, I'm then going to also do the same thing with the SoundCloud podcasts so that they go to Spotify and whatever other podcasts apps use the SoundCloud ones.

And also people that go on SoundCloud to listen. And equally I'm going to do the same thing add within that block of work to do. Add in to my website.

So that's now going to be the process, because in the past I would do the recording. And maybe have a break, although I'll still do that if I need it, you know. So I make the recording, have a break, save the recording so I don't lose it.

Something like Friday LMB YTS. And then just save it so that it's not gone. And maybe go back to it, you know, an hour or two later.

So let's say I've had my breakfast or take the little one out. And then I come back and I'll edit it. And with the Let Me Boy To Sleeps, there's not generally a huge amount of editing.

Now, I don't edit myself. But do you edit then? No, what I mean is, I don't edit what I said, I just edit any kind of background noise or me coughing or whatever. Most of my bodily functions are edited out.

Most regular listeners will know which ones are left in. So I Why do? So let's say Vinnie barks, or there's someone at the door or there's an interruption, the phone rings, I cough, I need to go to the toilet, there's some noise in the garden, whatever it might be. I basically tap the microphone continuously for about 10 seconds.

So it really lodges up the meter on the screen so I can see that there's a disruption there. And then I have whatever, I do whatever I need to do, whether it's a case of just waiting for the background sound to diminish. Or if it involves me doing something, answering the door, answering the phone, whatever it is.

And then when I come back, or when I'm ready to start again, which might be my only be first, few seconds, might be for a few minutes. It really depends. And then I'll tap the microphone again.

It's not the actual microphone itself. There's a like a shield. I forget what they call it if it's for S's and so like a spit shield or whatever it's called an S shield.

So I tap that about again for like five to 10 seconds, pretty five seconds. So it spikes up. So that way I can just edit that bit out.

But I always listen to just before that and just after it. So I know because sometimes it doesn't necessarily make sense. So what I do quite often in those situations is I do tell you like, oh, I just had to just had the dog barking in the garden or just had someone in the door.

And you might wonder why is he telling us that? The reason I mention is because otherwise what I was just saying to you might might be completely different to what I say after the disturbance. Because you can't hear that there's been a disturbance. It might be a bit incoherent.

And do you know how important it is to me to be coherent? It's really not is it? I don't know why I worry about it. It's just yeah, sometimes I can't hear it. It's not like the background sound or the dog or the person at the front door, or a person phone me or Vinnie deciding to start barking.

Like none of them seem to wait for me to finish the sentence. That'd be nice if they would do that just wait till I come to a full stop. Like then and then go around.

But no, it's always it was not always but it seems to often be mid sentence. So what I'll do, generally, if I can kind of miss out that begin that sentence and edit to go back to a point where it kind of makes sense of what I was saying. So yeah, it's a it's a little trick.

It's not my not my I'm no expert on editing, but I've been doing it for a long time. So I think I'm fairly competent when it comes to editing my recordings. But I don't edit myself.

I don't edit what I said. Generally, occasionally, occasionally, I do. Occasionally, I forget to.

So sometimes I think, yeah, I think I might leave that I might cut that bit out. It's very rare. And it's even rarer when I think to myself, you need to cut that bit out.

And then I forget to do it. That's why I need to do markers, I need to like tap on a mic to remind me that that needs to be deleted. So it's really just disturbances and background sounds and things like that, that get edited out.

Not what I said. So I don't think I really say anything particularly controversial anyway. I mean, when it comes to things like politics, I'm very on the fence.

I kind of just do. I almost. If I hear not not just politics, but anything, if I hear someone else's opinion, I almost start to move in their direction.

I'd be a terrible politician. I'd be in the House of Parliament or Commons or whatever, during a prime minister's question time on a Wednesday lunchtime at 12. When they do it, because they seem to spend quite a lot of time not doing it.

And I would literally have to sit in the middle. Because I'd start off being a conservative. And then 10 minutes in, I'd probably be Labour.

And then 18 minutes in, I might end up being Liberal Democrat or whatever they call themselves. Then I'll be with the Scottish party. Then I'll be with the Northern Irish party.

Then I'll be with the Greens. Then I'll be an independent. And I'll see all within an hour or half an hour.

I'll just move around like, oh, I agree with that. Or disagree with that. But that's one of my people.

No, got to move. So yeah, some would argue I'm perhaps not the most stable person in the world. Maybe.

Never really wanted to get into politics. Because so much of it is just people's opinions. And also, what this is a dehumanisation of politicians.

That seems to go on, I noticed when people talk about them, and like, they're not humans. And one thing I do know about myself is, I would not want to be in control. Okay, let's not say the word control.

I would not want to take on the responsibility of an entire country. An entire country's welfare, safety, all that stuff, security, blimey no. I'm not struggling enough just looking after a Jack Russell.

That's enough on my plate. So there's this invisible respect that I have for the government. Not because I agree, and I'm not getting political at all, because I'm not going to mention any specific thing.

But it's not because I agree or disagree with what's being said or done, necessarily, sometimes. But it's because I know that I couldn't do any better. And I know that for sure, 100%.

Because for every person you help, someone else is gonna feel not helped. And that's the way in life. That's just the way it is.

It's the same with this podcast stuff I do. You know, it's every time I make a change, it annoys someone. It delights some people, it annoys other people.

If you know, it's just like, it's, it's not just about trying to please everyone, because of course, that's impossible. But I don't want to upset anyone. I'll take pleasing some people, but not upsetting anyone, to trying to please everyone.

Because pleasing everyone, again, it's never going to happen. But I do want to kind of please the people that are, or my listeners, you, that are listening now. People that are stuck by me listening regularly, sometimes for years and years and years and years and years.

So the idea of not pleasing or doing something that's kind of rock the boat, or cause distress is upsetting to me. So that's why whenever I make a change, and it doesn't go down very well, I change the change almost immediately. In this recent case, I have been on it almost immediately, but it's taken quite a while to do.

I was going to say to complete, but it's still not completed. I'm still going through it. So yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Don't you think? It's like we are so sexy.

So I'm trying to do this. Trying to do the old uploading. The thing is, I can't do two things at once.

I've literally got my laptop. I'm literally free to use. Nothing else going on there.

And I can just upload or re-upload the recordings while I'm talking, but I can't focus on that. I don't know. I'm surprised I'm able to wash my hands, like using both hands at the same time.

I'm surprised that doesn't confuse me. Oh, I had a strange dream last, well actually just now. I was listening to some music for two and a half hours.

That's a long time to just be asleep listening to music, but hey, it was nice. But the dream was weird. I was in this, I was in a relationship.

Wow, I'm just thinking about it. Yeah, it was a very, yeah, it was a very weird dream. I don't actually want to mention it really, it was too strange.

I don't like the idea of wish fulfillment, because I know 1 million percent that I've had dreams that I do not, not even one, one molecule of me would like that to happen in real life. So, was it Freud that said it was that all dreams were wish fulfillment or something?

Maybe sometimes that could be the case, but you know, if I'm dreaming about someone that I really, I don't know, let's say if I'm working, if I'm in the past and I've been working somewhere and in an office or something and there's been some, a female that I liked, maybe thought I'd like to date maybe, I don't know, or just liked and didn't really think anything more of it.

And then I have a dream of maybe having a romantic adventure with her.

And maybe that is a wish fulfillment. You know, maybe, maybe in that situation, but no, you know, in other situations, I don't think so. I don't, I don't know what the correlation between different types of classical music is and dreams, because I'm, I'm pretty much no zero about classical music.

Although I listen to classical music every single day and have done pretty much for years and years and years and years, at least the last decade, you know, pretty much I'd listen to classical music. And I do listen to, I know some, well, I can name a bunch of them because I listened to some of the albums of the individual composers like Bach, was it Bach, Bartsch, Beethoven, Bruce Springsteen, I don't know, but it's lots of different ones.

I just, there's some, is it Chopin? I know some, I just like the slower ones.

Although I don't, I do like to listen to a live concert on YouTube, because generally the, okay, it's not really true. I mean, if I'm in bed, listen to classical music, it'll be on my phone and it'll be on Apple, Apple music. If I listen in the living room, if I'm at my desk, it could be 50-50, it's probably maybe Apple music, but then I might be listening to like an album, like a normal kind of, you know, music that I want to listen to, not classical.

But if I'm on the settee with my feet up, deciding to have a little relaxation session, it will be a YouTube video, and I quite like Adagios, I don't know what they are, but I quite like them. And, but I do also like to find the, like the London Harmonica, Harmonica, whatever, the different, because you've got the New York, you've got the, the Austrian, you've got lots of different, half harmonica, far harmonica, anyway, they're orchestras.

And some of the things I quite like about listening to them is, there's a real, I quite like the quiet, the gaps in between the songs or in between the sounds or the notes, sometimes.

And it's, it might sound weird, I also quite like hearing the audience trying to be, trying to be quiet, because you always, pretty much you'll hear a cough, or a little mumble, and I'm sure, indecipherable, there'll be someone saying, oh, is it not finished yet? How long, how long before we can go home? Can't believe you dragged me here. Or some snoring, which is what would happen to me, I would fall asleep.

Nothing to do with boredom.

More to do with relaxation. So if you're ever on stage, talking, or telling a story, or even doing a play, or singing, or in an orchestra, band, and you see someone in the audience asleep, don't, don't take offence at that. It's not that they're bored at, well, they might be, they might be bored at what you're doing, but you know, if what you were doing was boring, then you'd see probably at least 40, 50% of the audience asleep.

Maybe a larger percentage, it's just one or two people, then it doesn't mean you're boring, it just, it means you're relaxing them. That they feel safe to close their eyes and allow their souls to let go of all their worries, and to feel peaceful. I mean, in some ways, you might have done more for that person than you have done for any of the other audience members, from a healing perspective.

Perhaps not, you know, it depends. I remember years ago, everything's years ago, isn't it? This was probably about 2000 and I reckon about 2009, maybe 10, maybe 9, around that time. At the Buddhist Centre, we had the head of the organisation, Sangha Rachita.

He basically started that particular branch of Buddhism. And what he did, this was in the 60s, he spent 20 years in India, and he came back to London. He was born in London, but he lived in a monastery for 20 years or something.

So he came back to teach what he'd learned. But what he did was, he didn't stick to any one particular strain of Buddhism. So it wasn't Tibetan Buddhism, it wasn't Theravada, it wasn't Chinese, wasn't Japanese, wasn't Indian.

It was a mixture of the different types of Buddhism that spread around. And he started that group. It was like it was in a room above a pub in London.

I think it was North London. And there's tapes. All his recordings were taped.

All his lectures, all his talks were taped. I listened to all of them. I used to have them all on a CD or a CD-ROM, so I could download them.

I listened to them from my laptop. And that was over 20 years ago that I had that. Anyway, so he started that organisation, and then loads of Buddhist Centres started and opened all around the country over the next 50 years, 60 years, whatever long it's been.

So I used to go, I've been to two different Buddhist Centres, two different towns. So anyway, he came, I think he was doing a tour. It was kind of like a a book tour or something.

He had a new book out, and he was just touring around all the different Buddhist Centres around the country. So I sit in there. It's not a large audience.

There may be, maybe there was a hundred people there, but it wasn't a big centre. There wasn't a big space. But I sat down, and he's sitting at the front, and he's talking.

And this is quite a big deal, to finally meet someone who I'd read loads of his books, listened to huge amounts of his recordings, of his talks and stuff. And to actually, I didn't meet him, but I saw him, because he was probably only about seven, eight foot away from me, maybe 10 foot away from me. I didn't measure it.

I forgot my measuring tape on that particular evening. Plus, whenever I used to take it to the Buddhist Centre, people used to get annoyed. So, what's he going to measure next? Yeah.

So I'm sitting there, and he's yabbering on, as he did. He's talking about, I don't know what he's talking about. At the time I did, I'm not saying no one was just looking at each other like, what the heck's going on? No, he was, you know, he was talking about something relevant.

And I'm sure everyone in the room appreciated it and understood what was being said. No, I'm not saying that I understood what was being said, but I probably did. I'm sure I did.

The thing is, right? And this is in every single situation, since I've left school. But basically, since I've been in charge of my own behaviour, you know, since I've been allowed to do what I want to do, within the law, of course, I close my eyes when I'm listening to someone talk in an audience, if I'm in the audience. Now, I wouldn't do that at a comedy club.

But then I wouldn't want to do that at a comedy club because, well, the energy is different. The energy is much more uplifting. In fact, I would find it probably almost impossible to fall asleep in a room full of people laughing.

But this was a situation where everything was really calm and slow. And I did fall asleep. And I did snore very loudly.

And he punched me. So yeah, that was a bit weird. And he got arrested and the whole Buddhist movement that he created crumbled within about two months.

And yeah, ruined a lot of people's lives. Just because I snored. No, none of that happened.

I did snore. He probably didn't even notice to be fair. Because when you've got an audience, I remember what was it? Stuart Lee said to me, I think it was Stuart Lee.

It might have been someone else. It might have been, I think it was Stuart Lee, the comedian. He said, when you're on a stage, this is like early 90s.

He said, when you're on stage, even and this is coming from like a headliner. Or was it Alan Davis? It was either Stuart Lee or Alan Davis. I think it might be Alan Davis, actually.

Because I ended up doing a few gigs with him. Just coincidentally, I was doing a free spot and he was the headliner. And because I knew probably 90% of the comedians on those London circuits to talk to, a few just completely blanked me.

So probably maybe 10% didn't talk to me. But they weren't necessarily the top 10%. Because a lot of the top comedians were actually quite cool.

Not all of them, but you know. Yeah, quite a few were nice, actually, to me. Stuart Lee, I used to get on really well with him.

We used to chat like friends. I never used to hang out outside of the comedy clubs. But he was just really, really nice bloke down to earth.

So he'd come off stage, I mean, I'd be performing. And actually, sometimes I just turn up at the gig, just to watch and we'd chat as well. But he'd perform in front of maybe a few hundred people.

And then he'd just get off. And I mean, get off as in, you know, hump an elephant in the hallway. But he kind of was still himself, almost like he was himself when he was on stage as well.

And we used to just chat and it was nice. And he used to break down other comedians comedy on how to do that. Because at the time, I was absolutely obsessed with Mark Thomas, who was another huge name on the comedy circuit in London at the time.

And he went on to have TV shows and everything like that. But I used to follow Mark Thomas around and watch him. I was I was a fan boy.

In fact, I had his telephone number and I used to call him up and he'd give me there's one time he gave me he put my name on at the comedy store, because he was on there on a Friday night or Saturday night. And I called him up said, Hey, Mark, right, darling, right mate, you're right. Who is this? So I said, Oh, it's Jason.

Jason, I said, Yeah, the comedian. So I don't know any comedians called Jason. I said, Okay, I'm an open spot.

Oh, what do you want? How'd you get my number? I said, you gave it to me. You gave it to me at the week last weekend. It was Friday night.

He said, Oh, yeah, I got stopped drinking. But yeah, he put my name down. And it was cool.

And I went and said thank you and saw him in the green room. And everything like that. It was it was weird because I wanted to be like him.

And I was never going to be like him. Just was not going to happen. He was I just was not going to happen.

Even if I had found a way to be good. And to be successful. I was never going to be like him.

It was just a different. He was a very different person to me. And I yeah, he was like super fast.

And yeah, that I wasn't going to be like that. So I think it was Alan Davis that said to me, because I'm sure I did a couple of gigs with him literally within about or two or three gigs within about two months. And so there's one gig and he said about the audience.

He said doesn't matter how good you are, unless people in fact, he said like, you'd be on stage, you're going to look out, and you're never going to have 100% of the audience like you. Perhaps the most you're going to have is perhaps 40%, maybe 50% of the audience that really love what you're doing. Maybe you have 10 or 20% find it funny.

Sometimes I might find some of what you say is funny. They might think that you they might enjoy watching it, but not be particularly impressed. But like, you know, it's okay.

And you can have a percentage that really, really are not enjoying it. So all you've got to hope is that the people that are enjoying it make more noise than the ones that aren't. So the ones that are enjoying it, their laughter is all you hear.

Whereas, you know, you could get a heckle and stuff, but generally, I didn't really see that much heckling. I mean, I saw 1000s of heckles over the years, but you know, considering how many different shows, how many different comedians I saw doing their set. Loads of comedians, loads of sets without any heckle, no interruptions, thousands.

But then I've also seen lots that have. I mean, some comedians will get like one little heckle and it might be something they can get material out of. I mean, there's, I remember, I'll come back to Alan Davis in a minute.

One of the greatest that I saw, one of the greatest dealers for hecklers in the early 90s, in my opinion, that I saw was Mark Lamar. And I don't know if you ever saw Mark Lamar on stage or some people might, if you're in other countries, you might not know who he is. So he was a headlining comedian when I started.

So he was already, he started probably late 80s and he was really, he had everything. He had the look, he wore a suit, he was flashy, he was arrogant on stage, but he was very funny. And also, he didn't even need an audience member to say anything or to heckle in order for him to get five or 10 minutes worth of material out of that.

All he needed was a member to be scratching the table or playing with their drink, you know, maybe just moving the glass or looking at another member of the audience. It's just one little thing he'd see and it'd spark off by five or 10 minutes of him ripping into them, not even in a vicious way, just making fun. And it was funny.

And I don't think I've ever seen off the top of my head really any other, well, during my time doing, you know, involved in that. I never saw another comedian do that or to do as well as he did. He was so good at it.

And it was almost effortless to him. But I know behind the scenes, there's a huge amount of work goes into, um, you know, a stand up comedian on stage. It might look like they're just making stuff up off the, off the cuff or that they just come up with this material when actually, they might have spent weeks writing it.

But it was just really, I don't know, it's one of my favorites when it came to that. And Stuart Lee was as well, when it came to the comedy, doing comedy. Now Alan Davis, he went on to do TV work as well.

When he first started, he was good straight away. Winning awards, winning contests, like, you know, instantly. And some people were putting him as like, he's the new Eddie Izzard.

Because at this point, Eddie Izzard was already pretty much famous. When I, you know, he was already, I think it's safe to say that when it comes to the comedy circuit in London, Eddie Izzard was the king already. There was a couple of others as well that were already kind of really big.

And there was, you know, obviously loads that would have been on TV, like, um, Sean, Sean, oh my goodness, I've forgotten his surname, Irish comedian. But he did a show called Sean's Show. So he was already famous anyway.

And another comedian, I suppose, Eddie Izzard and Sean Locke. Sean Locke was the comedian's comedian. So there seemed to be two comedians that the general comedians, you know, like the headliners and whatever, would get excited about going to see.

Eddie Izzard's one, was one, and back then, I mean, and Sean Locke. So if Sean Locke was doing a gig in the closing show at the Comedy Store, which would be late at night or early hours of the morning, I'm not sure really. A lot of comedians would get together, get into a cab and like go there and watch it.

So he was the comedian's comedian. I never, I don't think I ever met him, never met Sean Locke. Because again, he was already successful, really successful.

And before I kind of got involved in that. Eddie Izzard, I never met him to speak to him. Although he did do a charity gig at a club I was at.

Probably 97, early 98. And also in the early 90s. I was in the comedy club that I used to frequent.

And I was just hanging around with the other comedians. And yeah, so I used to talk to new acts. Well, actually, I was so rubbish, that some of the new acts went on to be really big acts.

So I still knew them. So I was kind of like, I was still a new act, even though I've been doing it for years. And some of the others had gone on to be on TV and stuff.

That's how ridiculously bad I was. So there was one evening, I think it was probably even Friday or Saturday night. Eddie Izzard, but we were all just sitting around.

I think it was after the comedy had finished. So it was about 11 o'clock or something. And suddenly, suddenly, someone said, Oh, we're gonna just got a phone call, we're gonna go and how would they get a phone call? We didn't have mobile phones back then.

Hmm. I think maybe someone turned up in a taxi and came in and said, who wants to go to the restaurant with Eddie Izzard, with Eddie? And it was a lot of them all said, yeah, everyone got excited. So I went along as well.

I had no money. I didn't have any money to buy anything. I went to this restaurant.

I think it was an Indian restaurant in probably just around the corner. Actually, it was. Oh, what's it called? Bethnal Green.

And what's that road? It's well known for Indian restaurants. Really what like worldwide known? Oh, I forget. Can't be that well known if you don't remember, and you've actually been there.

Yeah, I know. I know. Oh, I want to search that.

Because it's gonna bug me otherwise. Famous Bethnal Green Road. In fact, I'm going to forget the famous road for Indian restaurants for India for for Indian rest, rest, restaurants.

UK Brick Lane. Brick Lane, Brick Lane, Brick Lane, Brick Lane. That was what I was looking for.

Brick Lane. Brick Lane. It says here the best 100 Indian restaurants UK.

Let's see how many this is the British Indian food. Now goodfoodguide.com. Let's see how many of them in Brick Lane have 100. This is 2025.

All right. Oh, the 100 best restaurants. Each restaurant has earned its place through sustained excellence in flavor technique and genuine hospitality.

According to this, I can't find one in Brick Lane. You got London Icons, Cinnamon Club, Cinnamon, Cinnamon, Westminster, Ghymkhana, or Ghymkhana, Mayfair, Quillon, Westminster, Jamavar, Mayfair, Jiriswami, Regent Street, Ben Ayres, Mayfair. Maybe they're they're really kind of I don't like five star Michelin, whatever, like really expensive restaurants with a waiting list.

I don't know. If I said yes or no, it'd only be guessing, you know. So there's two in Birmingham, two in Manchester, one in Leeds, Newcastle, Cardiff, Glasgow, Edinburgh.

So after all of that, not one in Bricks, is it Brick Street? How weird, because Brick Street is. Okay, London is, you know, when it comes to the rest of the country, outside of the south, do not really class London as the capital. And we all know it is, but it's not like some people in Manchester are not, or Liverpool, or Bradford, or Nottingham, they're not impressed by London, like, or London's the big place.

There's lots of different cities around the country. And I don't, I get the impression that people in the south, we go to London, it's like London is the, it's a lot bigger than any of the other cities, as far as the amount of stuff and the amount of people, because in London, I had this conversation with my friend the other day. And he said, oh, it's about 20 million, that's, we're talking about 20 million, I think we're looking at my stats.

And he said, so you've had about 20 million downloads since 2018. He said, that's the size, that's the population of London. I said, I thought the population of London was about 10 million.

He said, yeah, near enough. I said, since when is 20 million the same as 10 million? And we laughed. See, Brick Street used to be literally, come out of the club.

No, I forget where it is now. It's not far away anyway. It's, yeah, it's not far from where the club was.

Because I used to get a lift home with the doorman and give me a lift. And quite often we go down Brick Street and get some bagels. It's a very famous bagel shop.

So let's have a look. What's it called? There might be more. In fact, there is more than one.

Famous bagel shops. London. Right, let's have a look.

The best bagel shops in London. Oh, look, London is home to several renowned bagel shops. They have become famous for their delicious bagels and unique offerings.

Here are some of the most famous bagel shops in London. Bagel Bake. Located on Brick Lane.

See, told you, that's where we used to go. Always a queue. Always a queue.

Well, it's hard to say that, like, guaranteed that there was always a queue, because I wasn't always there. But that won't stop me from saying it. So Bagel Bake is a beloved.

I've never, I've never used the word beloved in my language ever. Beloved. No, never.

And it's known for its salt beef bagels and has been serving customers since 1974. Oh, I forgot this. It's open 24 hours and is a must visit to anyone looking to indulge in a classic bagel experience.

I think I used to have cheese on mine. I don't know why, but they are delicious. Really.

I would never buy bagels from a shop. And the only reason is because after having a bagel in possibly the best bagel place in the world. I'm exaggerating, but I still believe it.

It's hard to just go back to some, it's just, I've never really been into bagels. I didn't even really know what they were. All I knew is I like them and I like them a lot.

It was, oh, honestly, especially because they'd come out and they'd be warm and like, oh, absolutely beautiful. So if there was a bagel shop around here, it'd be gorgeous. I'd be eating bagels every day.

I love them. So, I don't know, because there's other ones called Papole's Bagels. It doesn't say where these are.

They're in London. There's one in Finsbury Park called Happening Bagel Bakery. And there's one called Bee Bagel.

The London's, the 14 best bagels in London. Oh, there's a Bee Bagel is in Soho. So that might have been there a long time as well, but it closes at nine.

It's open now, so they open quite early. Oh, there's also a Bee Bagel, Tottenham Court Road. I'm guessing it's the same company.

It's also, there's another one in Soho called It's Bagels. But from what I look, you can actually sit in there as well. So I think if you have a cup of coffee or whatever, it would be quite, yeah, you could, bagels would go there.

I mean, I've never, never really, I didn't experiment with the bagels because quite often my friend, the doorman would go and collect them and I'd wait in the car. Sometimes I'd collect them for him, but we wouldn't ever go in together. Really.

One of us would always be in the car. So I don't know. I wasn't a big fan of going there at like three in the morning.

I'll be honest on a Saturday morning or Sunday morning. Just because, well, the people around at that time of the day or night, you know, so, but, so I preferred it when he went, because he was huge and I knew that he was okay. I didn't really fancy going myself.

Although when I did go, I walked very, very fast. It's amazing how fast I can walk when I need to. But I didn't, I didn't enjoy the journey, even though it was only across the road.

Just, I mean, the good thing at that time of the morning, the queue wasn't large. It was generally just a queue of people waiting to probably have them cooked, you know, because there'd be 24 hours, eventually going to run out at some points or get close to running out. So, um, almost guaranteed to have a really fresh bagel.

What's the best bagels in the world? Best bagels in London. Wow. They are pretty amazing.

Honestly, I made myself hungry. I'm not, not even hungry. Oh, apparently, according to this, the best bagels in London guaranteed to satisfy your cravings.

The thing is, right? You know, this is called the handbook.com. So it's a website, I guess it's like a lifestyle, food, fashion, beauty, travel, culture, stuff like that. There's no way of knowing really, is there? Whether or not the bagels that they or the bagel shops that they recommend on this page is really the best, or whether it's just one that they're maybe being paid to promote.

I don't know.

But they're putting down B bagel is number one. And always showing all they do look nice. But yeah, I'm pretty sure that is.

But then it's right. Second is it's bagels. These are classic New York style bagels.

Oh, it's Regents Park Road. The B bagels is various. But we already looked at earlier.

Third on the list that I don't know. Oh, no, I've got it wrong. Papo's bagels was number one.

Now, this might just be in the order. Because they're saying Oh, um, it might not be in the order of best, the best, best to least best. It might just be.

That's normally what it means, though, isn't it? You know, if you've got a list of we're going to give you the the best bagels in London, the best bagels in London guaranteed to satisfy your cravings. The 12th of February 2026 by Lotic Wondro. Read time six minutes.

Yeah, for you for me probably about 25 minutes. So Papo's bagels comes at number one. It's saying you've probably seen this circling around or tick tock and instafeed instafeeds.

But apparently it's worth the hype. I don't know where that's in. And then B bagel, then it's bagels in Regency Park Road.

They sell New York style bagels. So what's the difference between a New York style bagel and London bagels? From garlic and everything seasoning to Pumpernickel options. There's a large bagel or there's a bagel rather for every occasion.

Load it up with your fillings of choice. So I guess it's a little bit like not sidewalk, not underground. What's that sandwich shop? It's gone right out of my head.

The name of that, you know, when you just choose your fillings, subway and underground. Yeah, subway. So I guess it's a similar kind of thing to that, isn't it? But instead of a foot long bread, you've got bagels.

So if you're looking to get your hands on the viral rainbow style bagels, this is the spot for you. Available on the weekend, you can enjoy this colourful combination loaded with your favourite fillings filings. Okay.

I'm just got one cut in half. It's nice. Oh, it reminds me.

At the comedy club, the one that I talk about, I used to frequent from 91 onwards. It's closed now. It's gone.

But it's been gone for over 10 years, I think. Opposite. They used to be.

I mean, there was a. In the early days, there was nothing there. Literally, you'd walk down that road, and the road was broken into three parts. You know, there'd be a road in between each one.

It was basically just a really large alleyway. I mean, it had roads and pavements and stuff, but it used to be all the old buildings were mills. They used to be mills in Shoreditch, which was very famous for all that stuff like industrial stuff.

And it wasn't anything there. I mean, some people live there in flats and stuff, but there wasn't hardly anything around. And then gradually.

Over the years, things started to spring up, because the weird thing about it is either end of the road, there was stuff going on. So one end was Shoreditch. And there's a very famous club across the road.

There was a lot of office buildings. It was almost like an extension to the to the city. Because it is a continuation.

If you if you walk from the city. So let's say if you come out of Liverpool Street Station, you can walk around. And, you know, you're basically in the middle of the city.

Liverpool Street Station, you turn left out the main entrance, not the entrance with McDonald's, but the other one. And you walk down and you could just see like on the left hand side, these huge buildings. I don't know if they're banking buildings or whatever.

Although I used to fantasize about working in one. In my fantasy, I never got further than being a cleaner. But I still like the idea of working in one because that was so big and quite beautiful, actually, huge.

And I'd see people going up the escalator onto work and walking through the is the kind of thing you see in a movie. You know, when you see someone walking to work and it's massive building and there's a reception and it's like, yeah, they're like that. Absolutely huge.

And I remember just seeing over time some of these buildings being built. On the right hand side, it was always a bit more derelict. It's kind of weird.

I don't know what it's like now. I'm sure it's been cleaned up a lot more now but walking down Liverpool Street, I'd also used to be a policeman or the army. I think it was police, armed police would be there.

Occasionally checking cars. That was in the early 90s. That was weird.

I'd never seen that before in my life. Very strange. Yeah.

It's really weird because I just felt the urge to chuck stones at them. Isn't it strange? That natural instinct that kicks in. It's like a dog that's done a poo and just automatically starts, his back legs go to kind of cover the poo up with dirt.

That was my instincts to start chucking stones at this policeman with a big gun. I don't know. Maybe it's the Irish in me.

I don't know. 48% Irish. So I walk all the way down it.

There was one massive hole on the left hand side and it was just near another of the exits or you could say entrances to Liverpool Street station where there's quite a few shops and stuff. But there's this massive, it's been built in now, more built on. But it was pretty much a big hole for a good 10, maybe 15 years, maybe 10 years.

Eventually they built on it. The thing is, it looked like the foundations had already been settled. Work had been done, but it was very deep.

I suppose because it's going to be a huge, really tall building. They have to go down really quite a lot, don't they? Oh yeah, I remember when it was built. Yeah.

I'm just remembering now. Blimey. Wow, because yeah, things did change because there was these coffee shops started to open just below the buildings.

Not Costa. Not the popular ones that are around the country. But there's one in London that was really, it was more kind of, it wasn't cheap to be fair.

Coffee, I see what a coffee place is. I forget the name of it, but people used to, mind you, thinking about it. Maybe when I was in London, I didn't know about Costa or anything because they were quite a new idea.

Because in the 90s, I remember I used to be, when I was a security guard and I worked in the West End, I would go home, but before I went home, I'd go to an Italian coffee place and have probably something to eat and have a cup of coffee. And because it was early in the morning, because I'd be finishing maybe six in the morning, they'd be open, but there'd be no one really around.

So I might sit outside or if it's a nice day and it's really chilled, you know, it's nice.

And that seemed to be the way that London was back then. If you wanted to go for a coffee, you went to, it was the Italian, they'd like be on the corners and a lot of Italian places, especially like in the West End and the city kind of area. Or you'd go to a cafe.

I mean, back then, McDonald's didn't used to do coffees, I don't think. Or did they? I don't think they did. McCafe.

And I can't remember the name of it. This coffee place, this coffee chain, London Expensive Coffee Chain, Liverpool Street. But it might not even be there anymore.

London Best Coffee, Black Sheep Coffee, Black Sheep Coffee, really? That's the thing. Loads of things. Blank, Blank Street Coffee Chain, Black Sheep Coffee, Blank Street.

Yeah, it just goes to show, doesn't it? So 13 best cafes. It's not a cafe I'm looking for. It's just a coffee place.

Well, they might, maybe they class themselves as cafes. I don't think so. And I think my favourite cafe in, I'll use a Shoreditch now.

Yeah, because Shoreditch didn't have anything going on. I mean, really, there was a, there was a stationery there, which I think served the city like did like, you can buy big, big amounts of stuff. I think printers and stuff.

I think there was a bike shop and a few other bits. There was a paint store on the corner of one part moving up. There was a petrol station.

As a point, there was a petrol station. I don't know if it was there in the early 90s. So it was definitely there in the late 90s.

It probably was there in the early 90s. So I used to get sometimes when it's like, oh, I knew I was going to be late at night and I wasn't going to eat anything. I would get them.

They're like breakfast cereal bars. I forget the name of them, but I used to get them and One Zone Coffee Shoreditch. Wow.

See, they call themselves cafes, but they're not. I mean, they look like really high class restaurants. I tell you a good place to eat.

If you're in Liverpool Street, this place is in Liverpool Street station itself. But if you come out the main entrance, like the main main entrance, you know, the ones with the escalators and the big stairs and stuff. Directly opposite the entrance.

There is, well, I wouldn't say there is, there was. There are newsagents and a cafe next to the newsagents. Maybe not or might not be right next to it.

But there is a place there. That's a good place to have something to eat. I used to go in there.

Sometimes early hours of the morning on a Saturday or Friday, you know, Sunday early hours with a couple of comedians and we just go in there and have a cup of coffee and maybe get some cakes. Because we had to wait because there's no train. So we're waiting for the next train to come to take us back to Stratford, which wasn't till like six.

So it'd be like hanging around for a couple of hours. Oh, the good old days. The good old days.

Also opposite Liverpool Street station is a police station. But it's pretty much hidden. Unless of course you're naughty.

Then you see exactly where it is. Cafe Plaza, Hoxton. Sabini Bar.

Blimey, it looks like a jewellers. Wow. So London's most expensive coffee.

Zing, Bing, Ting. It was something like that. Okay.

Coffee. Expensive. If I just put in coffee.

Liverpool Street station. Oh, I don't know. It's still not, is it? London.

If I just don't put expensive anymore, get rid of that. Maybe it was ZZ's. No, it was ZZ's like a pizza place.

I've told this story before, but Alan Davis. I remember I said to him before I went on stage on this one occasion, I said, if this doesn't go well, I'm quitting. So I went on stage and come off stage.

And then he goes on stage and, you know, that's it. See ya. I see him about three months later at another gig.

And the first thing he says to me, he says, I thought you'd quit. He didn't say anything on the night about it being really rubbish. But he literally just said, I thought you'd quit.

I thought you, such a cheeky monkey he was. It was very funny though. It was annoying, but it was funny at the same time.

The thing about him, he was always quiet. He's such a friendly person. He's one of these people I imagine you could say stuff and get away with it because he said it with a smile.

But I remember when he first came out, well, not first, but when he was kind of first well known on the circuit, he was being compared like the new Eddie Izzard because he had a certain style, very creative kind of style to him, which was apparently similar to Eddie Izzard, but I'd not really seen Eddie Izzard. So I didn't know. I'd seen a lot of Alan Davis on stage, but I don't know.

All I know is he was very, very funny, very funny and very popular. I can't find, all I want is a coffee, London Coffee, Liverpool Street Station. Right.

Okay. If I put in Liverpool Street, London Coffee, Pure Grind, Cafe Nero, maybe it was Cafe Nero. Pure.

These are Liverpool Streets. This is Liverpool Street Station actually inside. What is the road though, outside of Liverpool Street Station as you go out? Some of this food looks lovely.

Maybe it was Black Sheep Coffee. Perhaps it was Costa. Because I've not really heard of places like that before.

Oh, nude coffee roasters. Oh, it's a bit cheeky, isn't it? Costa Coffee, Costa Coffee, Costa. Right.

Ozone Coffee, blank. I've got another way of doing it. Okay.

If I'm going to, I'm going to go to ChatGPT. So I want to find out. Here we go.

List all brand coffee shops, UK. Okay. Say London.

Major branded coffee shops. Costa, Starbucks, Cafe Nero, Pretamanga. That's the one.

That's the one. Pretamanga. So we don't have those.

I've never lived anywhere that's had a Pretamanga. I've never been in a Dunkin Donuts. I think we might have one here.

Pretamanga. Isn't it weird? It went out of my head, but as soon as I saw it in print, well, on my screen anyway, it's like, wow. So if I put in Pretamanga near Liverpool Street.

Oh, it comes up straight away. Food near Liverpool Street station. So let's see what comes up.

The Ivy Yard. Good thing is if it's, no, not restaurants. Pretamanga, 19 to 20 Liverpool Street.

Oh, there's another one at 100 Liverpool Street, London. Blimey. I thought there was more than one as well.

So I used to go in there on the way, because there was a period when I was doing university, I would come up to London a couple of days a week and help out in a comedy club in the office. And I would generally get myself a coffee and something from Pretamanga, like a sandwich or whatever. So, and probably a cookie.

I probably said, yeah, or cake, something like that. Pretty, I mean, I can remember the sign and everything, but I might be wrong. I don't think there is one where I live.

Let's have a look. I might be completely wrong. If only I could spell.

I'm so excited that the words are just all mungled up, mungled up. Oh, there is. Oh, okay.

So there is. What about the last place I lived? The last town? Oh, it's permanently closed, but there was one. So, it was probably there when I lived there.

Okay. So, really? It's not that what I said, it was just all lies, all of it. It was just, I guess.

I. Hmm. So I don't remember Pretamanga being somewhere to sit. But then it may be just that I've never gone in there to sit down, but then maybe I have.

Because if I choose a place, I've got a tendency of just going to the same place every time. But if I'm meeting up with someone else and I'm meeting them, then I'm going to go to where they go. They might have their own specific place.

Like, I've got a friend who's in a wheelchair. So he had, I used to follow his lead, because he knew there were certain places he could go into, which had better access than mine. I mean, if it was left up to me, there'd always be like upstairs ones.

And he didn't like that. And that's why I chose it. But he just, you know, he kind of knew his way around the town.

And it's really weird sometimes, just the layout of the place, he knew that he'd get in between the tables, because some places the tables are so close together, it's hard to even get your body through without rubbing against the backs of both the people, you know, that are sitting behind each other, if that makes sense. And you almost kind of, you can't help but rub against them.

And no matter how often you try to get through, it's always the same, it's the same kind of being stuck rubbing against them.

And eventually get kicked out. Yeah. He was quite good at finding places that were had the space to get in big doors and automatic doors, ideally, and had space to get around.

So yeah, I used to kind of follow his lead on that. But once he went out and I met someone it was this is probably 2008. And I met someone I quite liked her, but did not have the confidence to go up and say, boy, I quite like you.

And in reality, it wouldn't have really made any difference. If I'd have said that and she said no, thanks. Because we'd had a laugh earlier.

So I don't think it would have been a rude put down that wouldn't have been a rude rejection just like Oh, something nice. Oh, you're so lovely. It's so wonderful.

The idea of spending the rest of my life with you gives me butterflies in my tummy, makes my toes tingle. But I must be honest with you. I don't think it's going to work out.

Don't ask me to tell you why. But just, just be, be sure that it's not you, it's me. And I'm not angry.

I'm just disappointed. Whose fault do you think it is? Whose fault is it then? Sorry, I went into cliches. And yeah, I don't know why.

I mean, you don't, it's no way of really knowing is there? No way of really knowing. And maybe it's my absolute lack of being able to read a person. I used to think I could.

I'm pretty good on the phone. I think of tapping into well, report, I can get into quite good report on the phone. In person.

I don't. I guess I don't have that confidence or reassurance. On the phone.

Even if it's in a work situation, or making appointments. I know I sound okay. On the phone, I sound all right.

I don't mean well, but I mean, I sound yeah, I've got a fairly okay voice. And I do all right on the phone. But at the same time, I've had years and years of training, and experience of working on phones.

So it kind of comes second nature now. Oh, my tummy's rumbling. What an unusual situation.

Rumbling tummy, tummy, tummy, tummy, tummy, rumbling, rumbling. Still haven't heard the dog bark outside yet. It was weird.

I didn't hear the dog bark over the fence from 10 o'clock yesterday morning. I heard it a bit in the morning, then I went out, took old Vincent out. When we got back, I didn't hear the dog bark at all.

For the rest of the day. And you know, I went to bed about nine in the evening. Didn't hear.

Oh, I didn't tell you today. So I generally, well, last night I took Vinnie into the garden to do his last wee. And it's about nine o'clock.

And it was cool out there. So I'm in my, well, I'm in my shorts, which is basically my pair of tracksuit bottoms that I cut off the legs. So to make them into shorts, and I've got a gray t-shirt on, but it's got no sleeves.

Do you know those ones that just, I think it's for, for men that have muscles and want to show off their shoulders and stuff. And doesn't quite work the same on me. It's a different aesthetic.

Is that the right word? Has a different aesthetic result. And I mean, there was this one, one female in a coffee place and I said, it was my birthday. And I told her how old I was.

And I was moaning about my age. And she said, Oh, and I said, how old are you? She told me. And she said, Oh, that's a lovely age.

No, I don't know. The thing is, I was in love with her. Right? I'm talking seriously.

I wasn't stalking. I just, every time I saw her, I fell in love with her every time. It's very weird.

Even when she was grumpy. She wasn't the most smiley person in the world at work. But it was something about her.

I don't know what it was. And for a few years, I just like, I wasn't sitting there every day, all day for three years. I went in there because that was, I was in there before she started working there.

I used to go in there because it was a really good place to, for me, it was the best place to go to have a coffee and to get some like a snack, or, you know, like, not a bagel, but like a roll with something in it, or whatever, a toasted sandwich. Because it wasn't, it's closed now, but it wasn't one of the the major brands, you know, it was an independent one.

And I quite like that.

But anyway, I remember, yeah, it was my birthday. And she said, Oh, it's a nice age. And I didn't know what to say.

So I pushed her over. No, I didn't. I didn't push her over.

I saw. Now, I've relived that experience probably a few 1000 times since, which is a bit silly, but it's, if I'm honest, it's that is true. Many, many times, where and I've kind of reimagined the situation.

Like, what would have happened if I hadn't pushed her over? Like, what would have happened if I had just said, do you want to go out? Just one sentence? Because she'd, she might not have been opening the gate for me. It might not be she might just been being friendly. But in a sense, I mean, I remember there was, I'm not obsessed with people who work in coffee places.

But there was another woman that worked in a coffee place. And I did ask her out. And she said no.

The thing is, after that, she was so nice to me. I think she started seeing me differently after I'd asked her out. And she'd come up and serve a table and she'd asked me how I was.

And she put a hand on my shoulder, and stuff like that, which she didn't use to do before. Maybe it's the fact that she liked to do that with people. But once she realized and she, you know, it was clear that she had no interest in me.

That she could do what became came naturally to her. I don't know. I didn't used to go around just asking people out.

Although there's another at work at Churchill's actually, there's this lady on a reception. And she was really friendly to me. But she wasn't being really friendly to anyone else.

When she's being friendly to everyone, but she seemed to be she seemed to like me. I don't know. I was wrong.

She didn't. But I thought she liked me. So I asked her out.

I thought, well, to hell with it. Why not? It wasn't that long after I'd left London. And I still had a little bit of confidence left.

Because when I was in London, I was I was used to dating and quite regularly. So it wasn't like such a big deal. But then I realized that if you're at work and you ask someone out and they say no.

First of all, there's a chance that the whole building will find out, which did happen. And the second thing is, if you're going to choose someone to ask out, maybe don't ask out the person on the reception, who you have to walk past multiple times a day. You know, it would have been, if she'd worked on a different, a different level of the building, that might have been a bit better for me.

But yeah, she left in the end anyway. Not to do with me, but just that was embarrassing. And then my second job in insurance.

Yeah, there was a lady I used to see in the lift. We used to chat all the time. It's like really gone well.

And I asked her out and she said no. Yeah, I'll be honest with you. I don't like to be.

I don't generally, I'm talking about the past because I haven't really had anything for years, but had anything that sounds bad, doesn't it? You know what I mean? Nookie. And when I was in my twenties, I generally didn't really ask people out. It'd just be kind of have something happen naturally.

If there was a connection, then there was a connection and it was quite easy to work with, especially when I was a DJ and stuff. But seeing someone, working with someone, and then kind of, yeah, it's a difficult one. And a few women.

I nearly kind of dated at work. One of them was sitting behind me and she, we kind of started to talk and stuff and a bit of flirting. But the thing is, we were waiting for the lift and I pushed her over.

One of those things, whenever I get, you know, I want to ask someone out, I just end up pushing them over. None of that happened. I've never pushed anyone over.

Well, not as an adult anyway. I don't mean I've never pushed an adult over. I mean, I've never, as since I left school, I've never pushed anyone over.

That's what I mean. And I wasn't continuously pushing people over at school because most people were bigger than me. But in the first year, I did do a bit of pushing.

I was a little bit naughty in the first year of high school. I improved. No, I didn't.

I didn't improve. So the next few years I improved. I didn't.

But I was better behaved. I don't know. I'm not sure.

I can't remember. I can. I just don't want to talk about it.

So there, you can't make me, can't make me. Okay, well, here's what happened. No.

I try to think anyone else that I asked out that I embarrassed myself with. Well, anyone that said no, it's embarrassing. I asked one lady out that worked in a travel agency and she said yes.

This is when I was 18. And I never know why. And I've questioned myself over the years, why.

But for some reason, I stayed in the shop and kept talking for the next hour to the point where she said, I don't want to go out with you now. And it's only the next year that I realized that that was a sales technique gone wrong. So I was basically getting buyer's remorse.

Well, I was actually creating buyer's remorse in the sense of selling. What's that weird noise my chair's making? So I've read a lot of sales books, a lot, like a real lot in the past. And one of the things that's kind of a unified idea is when someone says yes, stop trying to sell it to them.

When they've already said yes, don't give them any more benefits. Don't tell them anything good about it. Nothing.

Just get the paperwork done, get the check, get the payment, and say thank you. I mean, I'm sure if you're in person, once you've got the payment sorted, and you just maybe you discuss in delivery or, you know, if it's a kitchen discussing getting it fitted or whatever like that, then yeah, there might be, oh, forgot to tell you. You know, I mean, there could be an extra added thing on like, oh, you get a free giraffe with every kitchen or something like that.

So that's what I did with that situation. I basically, I oversold. Not that it was much to sell, because it was basically my personality, my personality put her off.

Because I think she thought I was quite sweet and nice. And she was way out of my league. But you know, I remember once I went on a date.

I'll tell you about that one. It's really weird. I have memories of quite a few of the people I've dated.

But there's one particular female and I don't remember her. But I remember going to the cinema with her. But I don't know who she was, how I ended up getting to the cinema with her, where I met her.

I never saw her again. And this is when I lived in a tiny little town. So basically, we went to the cinema.

And I was 16, 17. And I was hoping for some action. Well, by action, I mean, maybe holding hands, maybe kissing, something like that, you know, in the cinema.

I was a teenager. I did something I'd never done before. And I put my hand on her knee.

And she removed my hand from her knee. I picked up, picked me up, you know, by my wrist and just dropped it into my own lap. And I didn't like her anymore.

After that. First of all, because obviously, there was rejection. And it's not like I wasn't okay.

Technically, you could say we keep your hands to yourself. And suppose, yes, you can argue that. But you know, this, this was supposed to be like a romantic kissy kissy.

Well, maybe from my perspective, if she had touched my knee, I wouldn't have got angry I'd have just asked her politely to take to remove her hand. I wouldn't have, you know, been stroppy about it. Plus, she hurt my wrist when she grabbed it.

I mean, she's had a bit of a grip on her, which also kind of put me off for a little bit. So for all night, she'd end up pulling it off. And then that was it really, I just, where do you go from there? Because not only she annoyed with me, I can honestly say never in my life have I ever been turned on by a knee.

So I was getting nothing out of it. I was just trying to connect with her physically, just like in a friendly way. Almost like, oh, just pinch the knee.

I didn't pinch it. No, I didn't steal it. And I didn't like nip it.

I just, it was kind of just like a tester to see whether or not she liked me because she'd come along to the cinema. So I kind of assumed that she did like me. I didn't realize maybe she just wanted to watch the movie.

That didn't really enter my, the possibilities in my mind, to be honest. And I think I left. I think, I don't know if I stayed for the whole movie.

It didn't seem a lot of point because I wasn't getting a lot of good vibes from her. And I've never, honestly, I've never, touching a knee's never really been a thing for me. Although when I was at, when I was at Butlins, the, I was talking to her.

I had a female friend. She had a boyfriend. I got on well with him as well.

But I was talking to her and we were a little bit, a little bit drunk. And we were kind of flirting a little bit. It wasn't going to go anywhere.

We was in public. It was in like a public bar within the Butlins. And she had her hand on my knee.

I had my hand on her knee. It was more of a giggle, more of like a, you know, there's not really anything going on. And then suddenly some bloke came up to the table and said, it was a best friend of her boyfriend.

And I was like, oh, and he was moaning and said, there's nothing going on. We're just laughing about. And I really thought she was the one.

No, I didn't. She was funny. I liked her.

But yeah, I hope she's all right. It's weird. I haven't thought about her for a long time.

Because she went, she was dating this lad that I, I got on all right with him. And then she ended up dating my roommate. And that took everyone by surprise.

She kind of, it was weird. I was like, okay. So, yeah, there was this, this, this roommate of mine, women were literally chucking themselves at him.

I've not seen it before. I've seen it since, but I've not seen it before. Not all women.

But he was getting knocks on the door from various different females. Some who had boyfriends, who was literally living with their boyfriends in, in a room in Butlins. And they were coming in and just spending some time with him before he went to sleep.

And I was like, what the heck? He looks normal to me. He doesn't, this doesn't seem anything like amazing about him. I don't, what, what, what is it? And even the woman that got with him a week earlier was saying, was basically moaning about him saying, oh, he's weird.

I don't like him. He's weird. So I learned a lot from that.

I learned a lot from that. That was very interesting from a psychological perspective. And he made no effort, not even the slightest bit of effort.

And he was a magnet. He was a magnet to some of the females. I got to say some, because he was like not all females, obviously, but he was the biggest magnet out of all the Butlins staff.

He was the one that was just magnetized. And I don't know, to this day, how to get like that. So I've met another person like that in the back when I was doing insurance.

And women could, I mean, I went out, we became really close friends and we'd go out and he was being stared at by women, like nearly everywhere we went. He was turning heads. As well as the men that weren't happy that their girlfriends or wives were looking at him.

There was something about him. You know, we'd be in a nightclub and women would come up to me and say, can you introduce me to your friend? I'd say, no. I'll go on.

I said, no. And he'd be surrounded by women as well. And this isn't an exaggeration.

This is every single time we went out. He, it was just amazing to watch. I didn't enjoy it all the time.

I felt a little bit like, like he was the whale and I was the plankton. Not the plankton. What's the stuff that eats, eats off the whale, you know, just like lives off the whale.

I felt a little bit like that. Very strange. And he knew, it's not like he didn't know it.

He knew that it was happening. I remember once the manager or the, one of the big people in the, because we worked together in this big company and they, they called him in and told him to stop sleeping with so many of the staff. You've got to stop sleeping with the staff members.

And he said, nothing to do with you. So I think a lot of it was jealousy possibly, but at the same time, it wasn't, it wasn't producing a really, the calmest working environment sometimes when there was people all kind of trying to get one person's attention. And then maybe there'd be like 10 different people trying to get the attention of one person.

So yeah. And then I'm talking about myself. And then of course, sometimes him as well.

Just for one hour, I would love to live like that. Or for a day or a week, a year, it's just to be a magnet like that. I mean, there's downsides to it, but the upsides make up for the downsides.

I'm pretty sure. And the downsides was he's constantly having men or tell him to like, or, you know, tell them off when he wasn't doing anything. He was just, just being himself.

But yeah, it was, I mean, he was, he was super good looking. There's no doubt about that. I'll tell you what he looked like.

If you remember, if you're in the UK, Gareth Gates, he looked like Gareth Gates. But his eyes, different eyes. So he had the same kind of face as Gareth Gates.

So really, really good, super good looking. He's probably about six, six, one, slim. And he, this was during a period when Gareth Gates was really famous as well.

But he had these eyes that were almost like crystally, these eyes that, yeah, very different from me. I think that's what it was. It was the eyes that got women, or they got people like looking at him.

So we're quite, so it's quite magnetic, I suppose. Quite hypnotic, perhaps. I don't know, I've seen some people that have eyes like that.

They kind of have like, not multicoloured, but they're kind of almost like crystals. Maybe he wore contact lenses. It was all a big farad, not farad, not fart, farad, farad, sharad, sorry, sharad, farad, farad.

What's the thing you wear on your face to cover up? A farad, sharad, a farad? I don't know. Farad. Anyway, Vinnie's got a little message for you all.

And on that note, I'm going to go. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.