(Short Voice Only) Hair Growth Treatments | Trivia Tuesday | #1641 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep and it is Trivia Tuesday. Trivia Tuesday. Oh yeah, Trivia Tuesday.

Me, me, me, me, me. So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Just let you know that I have multiple podcasts.

I've been doing this for 20 years. So since 2006, I was a young man. I was, I was 35 years old when I first started making hypnosis recordings and sleep recordings and pain relief recordings and relaxation recordings and videos.

And now I'm old. Now I'm old. So today's Trivia Tuesday.

Trivia, Trivia, Trivia Tuesday. And what I'm going to talk about is hair growth treatments throughout history. Probably just, um, I don't know if any of these work.

I'm sure if they did, then we'd know about it, wouldn't we? I want to say we, I don't just mean us baldies. So, yeah, so this is, um, that's probably good to find, do something that's a little bit silly. So yeah, trying to think what else is, what's happened.

What's the update? What's the latest? What's the news? Well, I did some washing, did some laundry. Oh, this is exciting. So last year, I think it was last year, it's quite a while ago.

I bought two sets of curtains, um, net curtains, one for my bedroom window, and one for my living room window. The one for my bedroom window was yellow, and the ones for my living room window are blue. So, I didn't put them up straight away.

I'm not big on moving quickly, generally. But I did eventually put up the yellow ones in my bedroom, and I was surprised and delighted. Oh, every day, it's just, oh, um, I mean, yellow is quite a nice colour.

I think it's quite, it lets in the sun. I mean, it's actually, I quite like yellow. And I like blue.

It's very light blue. But the yellow ones in the bedroom. Nice.

I'm pleased with that. Because the thing is, I didn't have any curtains for about, net curtains for about two years. I went through a little phase of tidying.

And I was cleaning the windows and I just ripped the net curtains off and because they were like, they get holes in them. I mean, the thing is, the original net curtains that my dad put up when I moved in, already had holes in them because that was the design. So the holes just became bigger over time.

When I was opening and closing the windows, and sometimes the handle on the window would catch on it. And I would pull it open and it would just rip the hole bigger. Now the ones now, there's no holes in them.

So there's nothing for the door handle to catch on, if that makes sense. So I bought the curtains, the net curtains and I was, people, not everyone might know what net curtains are. So you've got curtains.

The net curtains are, I mean, the design of it is basically so you can look out your window without being seen during the day or the night if I mean, but you know, because if you've got no net curtains, everyone can just see it. And if you like, if I'm standing looking to see what's going on in the garden, maybe there's a something going on, I'm on a little peak, you know, a little look, a little nose of what's going on. They can see me, they can see up.

And also the, I imagine the other flats at the same level as me can see in here when the lights on, when I'm sitting watching television and stuff, not, I mean, they'd be bored if they did, but you never know, do you? And when I'm sitting at my desk, there's at least one window, which is someone's living room. If they were standing at their window, they could see in here. But even now, because I've got the light on, because there's not enough light in this room.

Because a lot of blockage to the window. But anyway, with the curtains there and the light off, because you have to have the light off, otherwise people can see in, you can look out. And that's not the only reason that I put them in there.

It's just more for my privacy of, well, I've had a few close calls. And so my bathroom is opposite my living room. And my normal thing to do is with the curtains, the net curtains, people can't see in.

So I will walk around. It may be if I'm having a shower and stuff, I'll, you know, I won't be dressed. But I've forgotten a couple of times and I've walked in here.

And realize that there's, you know, there's just glass, there's nothing stopping anyone from seeing. And when I'm standing at the door, it looks, it overlooks the fence and beyond the fence. So someone was in that car park behind or just, just near the fence.

They could see in. I don't know how clearly they could see. And in all fairness, I mean, they probably wouldn't see anything anyway, because, well, well, nothing, just forget what I said.

But, yeah, there's a couple of times that I've had to, I had to come in here. So I've had all the doors closed, but I've had to come in here to get some underwear or something, because I left it in here on a radiator or hanging up. So like, oh, it's a bit weird.

And that was nice. It's nice now because I've actually, oh yeah, I put the blue ones up in the living room. So it's now solved that problem.

It's less light in here now, because it has blocked a little bit of the light, which I'm fine. I'm not that bothered, but it's nice to feel a little bit, a little bit more privacy, you know, because I don't want to have to keep pushing the other curtains across, the main curtains. So it's nice to, you know, I like to have some light coming in, but at the same time, not be on display, like a, a lobster in a big tank.

Imagine having that as a job, being a lobster in a restaurant. It's like, what a rubbish job, just sitting there watching people eating, but at the same time, it's a hell of a lot better than the alternative, isn't it? You know, if you're chosen, I had a friend, I still have a friend who went and bought some lobsters from a restaurant and he just put it, put them back in the Thames. Mind you, I think they, apparently they jumped back up and they climbed back into the tank.

They said, anything's better than being in the Thames because the Thames is just horrible. You know, we take our chances, apparently. So, and also this week, I forgot to mention, I've now have my bathroom light back on after months of not having a light.

And because basically what happened is the electrician, I just not like a, it's weird. You'd think, well, surely you can just change a light bulb. It's not that simple.

It's the electrician has to come to change it and it's supposed to last five years, but it's, it's, it's weird. But anyway, the electrician came originally a few weeks back saying, I had to wait about three or four weeks before he came and they said, no, I can't do anything because of the asbestos level. So we're going to have to come back with the asbestos team to basically suck up everything as I'm drilling everything just because there's a lot of asbestos in the ceiling and stuff.

So they came back and it was like a crime scene. I opened the door and there's two blokes plus the electrician. The two blokes were covered in white clothing and masks and everything.

And I'm thinking, Hmm. I did say to him, it looks like a crime scene. And then I said, I bet I'm not the first person to say that, am I? He said, no, everyone says it.

I said, Oh, I didn't feel good about myself. I like the idea of being original or at least attempting to be original. So, I didn't really know what to do at that point.

So I did a little dance, did a little dance. I tempted, you know, when you run against the wall and you try and do a flip. I attempted that.

But unfortunately, my hallway is so, it's very thin hallway. It's very, not very wide at all. So I basically just ended up banging my head.

And I thought, I bet no one else has ever done that before, have they? And he said, yeah, and that's true. So no one has. Well, why did you do it? I said, because I wanted to be original.

He said, but you could have hurt yourself. I said, I did hurt myself. He said, no, but if you'd have actually managed to turn yourself upside down, you could land on your head.

And it really would have been a crime scene. Well, it would have needed help. I said, are they any good at first aid? He said, no, no, they're here to suck up the asbestos.

And then he said, can we get free, please? So I got up and turned the music off. I had some, because you got to have hip hop music, haven't you? If you're going to be doing dancing and stuff. Turned it off and yeah.

I said, but you say that I'm not original, but how many other people that you come visit have got bunting up saying, you know, welcome, Mr. Electrician and asbestos people. He said, no, it's true. You are the only person that's ever done that.

And I said, well, when you're finished, I'll get the cake out. He said, what? He said, yeah, I've got a cake. That's a cake for you.

He said, really? I said, no. I said, that was original, wasn't it as well? Because I bet no one's pretending to have a cake, do they? And then they didn't in the end. He looked so disappointed.

I did feel bad actually after that. Because I mean, there's very few things you can do in life that are worse, that's worse than pretending to have made someone a cake. And then, you know, not have done it.

It's just, it's unkind, it's uncalled for. It's uncouth. Now, I'm not sure what that means.

But I knew that it had an un at the beginning of it. And I thought it would kind of go together with the other words. It's underlying.

It's an umbrella. Underscore, underwear. I'll stop.

So now I've got a light, which is really good. The weird thing about it is I've not turned it on yet. I haven't, I've not used it.

I'm so used to not using it that I forget to turn it on. So I haven't used it for like three months or something. I genuinely haven't turned it on at all since I've had it.

Or since the new bulb's been in. Because I used to leave the light on all night, every night. Oh, here's another thing.

My electricity and gas bill here, they're taking, apparently I'm in the plus by £200. But they're still taking £98 off me. I know the reason they do it is so there's money in there for the winter and stuff.

But it would have been handy to have had that £98 to be honest. I had that happen before once. They were, this is when I used to just pay every month.

So I've got direct debit now, but I used to just pay myself, go online and pay it or whatever. And I didn't pay it one month because I was short of cash. I just thought, well, I'll have to pay it in a couple of weeks or whatever.

And they sent me a letter. You have not paid your bill this month. So I called them up.

And they said, you've sent me a letter, a threatening letter. I said, it wasn't threatening. It's just saying you have to pay your bill.

I said, yeah, but you're a little bit heavy handed, aren't you? Didn't have to mention prison. I said, well, it's just to get people moving in it. Worst case scenario, etc, etc.

I said, okay, so you say I owe you, I think at the time it was like £80 or something. It was a few years back. I said, yeah.

I said, okay, so what's my, what's my balance? And they said, I think they, they might have written it down. It might be in a letter. So I'm querying, I said, how come it says I've got £160 in credit, yet you're hassling me for £82.

Because that's what we do. But you've got £160 or whatever. So I don't owe you anything at all.

And they said, that's right, you don't. And I was, I mean, I would say it, but I don't because I don't like that particular phrase because I've heard it too many times, but make it make sense. I love it.

And it was a make it make sense situation. That was like, come on, this, this is not logical. If I, if I, if you already have £160 of my money, why are you hassling me for £82? And he said, that's what we do.

So I didn't pay that and I didn't pay the next month's either. They still just kept sending letters. It's a bit like banks though.

You haven't got to give a lot of information when you put money into your bank account. If you try to draw money out your bank account, they want a lot of information. I think I had that situation when I joined the BACP, which was the counselling organisation.

So I paid them to be a student member when I was this, when I was at university, I paid them the money and then I contacted them for some reason. And they said, who are you? I said, what do you mean? Who am I? He's Jason. And they said, no, but have you got proof of ID? I said, no.

I've got a letter. I've got my reference number. No, we need proof of ID.

We need, and they're like, we didn't need that when you took £120 of my money though, did you? You accepted that money. Okay. Why, why do you need ID now? Now that story is not completely correct because I partially forget it, but it was similar to that.

There were aspects that were similar. I'm trying to think of anything else that's happened around here. Um, not really.

I don't, I think this is kind of it really. This, I have a dustpan and brush coming, which is a long one. Uh, so I don't have to bend over because I can't do the bending over anymore.

So I'm going to do that's coming today, which means I'll be able to have a little tidy up. Um, the doctor's surgery called me up to make a booking for my annual mental health review. I got checked at whether that's in person or on the phone.

Wow. I think it might be the actual physical, you know, they do a blood pressure, take a blood test, um, weigh me and all that stuff. I think it might just be that because, because of the medication they have to sort of do a yearly review of how I'm getting on.

Yeah, I think so. I think it's every year. It's very, very regular anyway.

And then I went on to the doctor's surgery thinking because of the website that don't take appointments on the phone anymore. They do an appointment with that one because they actually called me to call them back. They'd already sent me a letter a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get back to them.

So, but then, you know, I needed to make some appointments. One is for a couple of things and this, it basically sent me to this form data collecting thing where you have to fill a form in with multiple parts and then send it to the surgery. And it was asking information that was very personal about the condition and I should be able to go just to the doctor's, you know, without saying what it's for.

Tell the doctor what it's for when I get there. Besides, I didn't know how to spell wart. Is it W-E-R-T? Wow.

No, I just, it's like, come on. I know that the people at the doctor's surgery can look through people's files and see what's going on and stuff. But ultimately, you know, if I go to the reception to book an appointment, like when, when you could go in there and actually see a doctor, what's, what's it for? What's it for? Mind your own business.

Mind your own business, you nosy old. No, none of your business. I'll tell the doctor what it's for.

If I was ordering coffee, I would tell you what I wanted, but this is different because you know what, I'm not quite sure what it's for. I'm not quite sure what's going on. You know, I just, I'm just.

I actually saw one of the receptionists diagnosing a child, a little kid in a pram to the mother saying, oh, I think this is what it is. And I felt like I needed to shout it out. Oi, she's here to see a doctor.

You're not a doctor. You're a receptionist. You're a damn good receptionist, but you're not a doctor.

You can't prescribe. You can't, you can't, what do they call it? Diagnose? I didn't shout, but I thought it. And I thought, the thing is, if you're in that environment, can you imagine how much stuff you'd learn? It's like, if you have a, if you have an x-ray, the person doing the x-ray knows exactly what, they know what it is.

Even if you have to wait like a few days to get the results, the x-ray people pretty much know, but they're not there. They're not there to diagnose or to give the information. So even though when I fractured my back in two places a couple of years ago, the x-ray people, they knew straight away it's fractured in two places.

They hand the x-ray to the doctor. The doctor comes over and tells me that it's fractured in two places, but they're not officially legally allowed to kind of pass that information on other than to the doctor. Because the amount of people I reckon that must say to them, look, can you see what it is? No, you have to see the doctor.

I have to wait till the test. I'm just a person that does the x-ray. Yeah, but they're doing it all day.

They know, they know x-rays inside and out, if you excuse the pun, inside and okay. It's like dentist assistants, dental assistants will know everything about dentistry and how to do everything. They might not have the physical skills of doing it because they haven't done it themselves, but they'll know, they'll know by looking at the x-rays, they'll know by watching the person doing it all day, exactly what's being looked at and what's needed and how to do the procedures.

Because let's face it, I think when it comes to things like dentists, there's a limit, you know, there's not a huge amount of different procedures that they would do in a normal day. Fill-ins, extractions, maybe teeth whitenings, doing x-rays, standard stuff, day in day out, maybe something a little bit different. But anything that's a little bit bigger gets sent to the hospital anyway or to a specialist place.

So even though there's a dental assistant, they're almost, they're basically as qualified as a dentist, but without practically being qualified in the sense of doing it. I suppose what I'm saying is if you spend loads of time sitting with someone or standing around with them watching them doing what they're doing, you're going to learn what they do, aren't you? You may not be as good as them, you may not understand necessarily what's going on, but it'd be hard not to absorb some of it or a lot of it if you're around it a long time.

I mean that's what they used to do in the first insurance company that I worked at, new people that get them to sit with me so that they would absorb what I do.

Not in the same way, just absorb the... because I was good, I was, and there was one young lad, he wasn't young, I wasn't old either to be fair, there's only a few years difference between us, and he ended up copying me and it was annoying because I started saying to him, look you've got to have your own personality, you can't just copy things that I say, but the thing is he was doing really well by copying me, even his introductions and his, he did some of the jokes I did because some of the jokes you do every time, if it's about the weather or if it's about, you know, just I can't, I haven't really, haven't got an example to be honest, but I had a few kind of set silly things, silly lines I would say and to build rapport with the customers and he was just copying me.

I remember one, there was this one girl, female lady and she'd kind of been flirting with me, she'd only just started and she was kind of flirting with me, she was in a different team and then, but they all went out at the end of the training because she'd sat on my table I think next to me and listening to me and stuff and I did get a little bit worse for wear and for drinking and I was out with them and I was out with someone I was with as well from my team and she said something rude to me and I said something rude back to her and we kind of, yeah, we fell out a little bit, this is a long time ago, this is before I was Mr Lovely and so, I don't know why that's funny, so we didn't really like each other after that.

Well, I didn't dislike her but I just kind of, she was a bit, you know, offish with me.

I did apologize because I was, I swore at her but she was rude to me and I didn't swear at her actually, I was just, I was talking to my friend and said, oh don't worry, she's just beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, you know, bleep, bleep and I said it too loud and I remember my friend saying that's the last time I come out of you when you're drunk. And it's the last time I come out of you when you've got your megaphone on you. So, yeah, it was, it was a little bit one of them but anyway, I ended up helping her.

She, she got moved on to my team and she couldn't believe that I was helping her. She's like, why are you helping me? I said, why not? You're on the team, we help each other, that's what we do. And yeah, I helped her quite a lot actually to get, to improve what she was doing and stuff but then she, I don't know what happened to her, I think she, she got sacked or she left or something, I don't know.

She wasn't there for a long time but I was determined for her not to like me but to just maybe forgive me for, for my rudeness. I, I wasn't rude. I think I might have said, oh, don't worry about her, she's just a silly Billy and she overheard and she thought, I'm no silly Billy, you're, you're, you're, you're a twit and I said, don't call me a twit.

I'm trying to think of kids, little kids swear words, twit and I said, Arva, you're a willy warmer and she said, at least I've got a willy. It went weird after that, it did. So, right, hair growth treatments throughout history.

So, here's the first one. I'm going to keep an eye on these ones because I might actually use one for my bald patch. I don't ask which one, the bald patch.

I mean, you could argue, well, yeah, but if, if your hair's receding, isn't that kind of like a bald patch at the beginning and the end? Yeah, no, it's just a larger forehead, that's all. Ancient Egyptians rubbed crocodile, hippopotamus and lion fat onto bald heads. Wow.

It's not telling me whether or not it worked. And you know what? I'm just looking at all those animals, crocodiles and lions, you know, but then hippopotamuses, which are the most dangerous animals out of all four, out of all three of them, apparently. I'm not desperate, not that desperate to get hair on my head.

If it meant having to ask any of those for some fat. I mean, really, the hippopotamus is the only one that I imagine has any fat on it. I mean, crocodiles, they don't, do they? And lions are just muscle.

They're usually quite skinny actually, lions, aren't they? Ancient Greeks used pigeon droppings mixed with, mixed with horseradish. It's a bit weird. Isn't it weird that I'm finding the horseradish the strangest part of that? Pigeon droppings? Yet horseradish is the one that surprises me.

I don't know what that says about my brain. Pigeon droppings? Really? Maybe that's why it's called good luck. Well, people say it's good luck if a, if a bird poos on you.

I mean, I don't think it's good luck if anything poos on you, personally. If anything, that's kind of the worst day ever. No, it's really, I don't know.

I can't imagine the next time a pigeon poos on me, I'm going to start rubbing it in my bald patch. Well, there is a tree just up the road where we walk under loads of pigeon poo. I'm not going to start like picking it up and rubbing it into my forehead because it might give the wrong opinion to people.

It might, I don't know how I'd come across. I think I would end up getting taken away somewhere. I think that's pretty weird behaviour, isn't it? But then in my defence, I could say, no, no, no, no, look, horseradish.

And then they say, oh, you haven't got to be sectioned. It's an ancient Greek technique for growth treatment for hair. Yeah, see? So, I mean, horseradish, that'd be hot, wouldn't it? On your head or anywhere.

I can't imagine putting horseradish on any part of my body. I can imagine it, but it'd be an accident. I don't know what I thought about my knee.

What would it be like on my knee? Why would I want to put it on my knee? I don't know. So, the next one is Julius Caesar reportedly tried combing his thinning hair forward to hide baldness. Yeah, I've seen a few people do that.

It's it's quite a. I'd hear because my bald patch is on the crown like behind my head, so I can't see it. But if I grow my hair any kind of length, you can see gaps in the hair, if you know what I mean. The thing is, who's going to tell Julius Caesar that he looks silly? No one.

Who's going to tell him, oh, you're going bald? No one. So, no one's going to say to him, oh, you know, combing your hair forward is not going to help your thinning hair at all. No one is going to say that to Julius Caesar.

Definitely not. Romans massaged olive oil into the scalp. This makes sense a little bit because it's nice.

Olive oil. It kind of comes across to me in this probably because of the health. It's like it's a healthy version of oil.

It's kind of natural. And to rub it into your scalp. It feels like it'd be a pleasurable thing to do.

Or someone else would do it, perhaps, like a scalp massage. Oh, if you've never had a scalp massage, give it a go. It's really nice.

So if you've got a partner or something, who I wouldn't necessarily use olive oil. You don't need oil or anything. I mean, you could.

You get someone to wash your hair or something, but you can just you could massage someone's scalp without without oil or anything. But it feels so nice to have the scalp just stretched and massaged. Oh, you can do it yourself, but.

Which is what I do whenever I shave my hair off. When I shave my head off, I do, I spend quite a lot of time massaging my head. It's just because it feels so nice to be free from hair.

It's lovely. And if I scalp myself properly, literally to the bone with a big razor or whatever razor. It's a different feeling altogether.

And it's weird, because if you do that, if you do it, you realize how quickly your hair actually grows, because the next day it won't be smooth anymore. Our hair is always growing. It's not slow.

It might seem slower now than it used to. But that initial growth from being underneath the skin to above the skin happens overnight. Almost seems to happen while you're cutting it, while you're shaving it.

But I used to, yeah, I used to shave my head. 2004, I used to shave my head to the bone, like proper. 2003, I did it.

I shaved my head like, you know, just crew cut, what, you know, so it's gone. I clipped it, but to actually shave it right gone. It was nice.

And what I was amazed at is how strong the skin is on the scalp. It's not like the face at all. It's very tough skin.

So, yeah, really to think about it, if this is for bald people, having a massage on your scalp is amazing. But it's lovely anyway, even if you've got hair. Garlic juice was rubbed into bald patches.

I don't know what Vinny's doing down there. It's like, OK, garlic juice. Brilliant.

I've got my hair back, but no one comes near me because I stink of garlic. It doesn't work, does it? I mean, I wouldn't even want to be near myself. Why? Why? So garlic and hair.

So basically, hair is the only thing that's attracted to garlic. Is that what it's telling? That's what it's saying, isn't it? So basically, you put garlic on your bald patch and hair will grow back because hair is the only thing that finds garlic attractive. Wow.

I'd rather be bald. Thank you very much. Onion juice.

I'm not a fan of garlic. Sorry. I know it's got very healthy qualities, but onion juice was believed to stimulate stimulate hair growth.

It's probably the same as garlic really, isn't it? Because I imagine some people would think kind of onions, garlics. It's kind of similar kind of thing, isn't it? Except one smells like garlic and the other doesn't. I think with onions is onion juice will make you cry.

Garlic juice will make everyone else cry. Bear grease. Bear grease became a popular hair tonic in the 1800s.

I mean, I know, you know, I mean, if people used any of these techniques and it didn't work, wouldn't someone have noticed? You know, I mean, if you're rubbing stuff into your head, and no hairs arrive. You never know, though, because someone might have gone bald due to alopecia. And back in the past, I'm sure alopecia wasn't even, probably didn't even have a name.

And then it would be like baldness and then miraculous baldness cure. And the hair came back. And it's because you rubbed garlic poo onto their head.

As I know they had. Wow, can you imagine? Alopecia is allergic to garlic. Even alopecia doesn't like garlic.

So the hair comes back. I've only known two people to have alopecia. And it's a strange one.

I've known a few famous, famous people who've got it. But it's. Yeah, it's a strange old thing that one.

I would. I used to think that because I shaved my head over 20 years ago, I shaved my head thinking, it doesn't matter if I go bald, it won't bother me one bit. I don't care.

I shaved my head every day or every couple of days. Anyway, so what do I care if I end up bald? I'm already bald. I'm walking around bald.

People see me every day bald. Won't bother me. And you'd think that, wouldn't you? You think, yeah, it makes sense.

When I did start going bald, with the bald patch that no one told me was on the back of my head. I didn't have that attitude that I had in 2004, for some reason. Because I had hair again.

I wasn't. Well, I wasn't like shaving my head right to the bone anymore. I just think it's unfair that my dad, who's 26 years older than me, has got more hair than me.

It's not fair. I don't accept it. I do not.

So my dad's got like white hair. It's not grey, it's white, like snow. He's got such lovely hair.

And it's also fine. See, I've got curly hair. Proper curly.

If it gets past a certain length, it goes frizzy. He hasn't got that type of hair. He's got straight hair.

And no bald patches. I'm just complaining. Don't worry about me.

We're on the subject of baldness. So I'm going to talk about it, am I? I just don't think it's fair. That's all.

I don't care what you think. I don't think it's fair. What's going on here? Okay, right.

What's the next one? Goose fat was used as a scalp treatment. Goose fat. There's a lot of fat here, isn't there? Like animal fat.

There must have been. There must have been some successes. Otherwise, why would they keep doing it? Mind you, human beings are known to keep doing things, aren't they? I think there was a psychological study where they put rats in a maze and got them to do stuff.

And then they put humans in exactly the same situation. And the rats gave up before the humans did. Because it wasn't given them.

So one of those things where they give you treats, and then they stopped. They gave you treats, and then they wouldn't give you treats for a few days. And the rats were still trying to get eventually the rats.

I'll stuff you. Humans. No.

Still waiting for the still there now, apparently. Horse manure was mixed in to hair remedies in some cultures. Wow.

Maybe that's why bald people like it had kind of this seems to be a tradition. Some people are old, don't like bald people. But maybe it's not because they're bald.

It's because back in the past, they stunk of manure. And goose fat. And cow urine as well.

Wow. And garlic juice. It wasn't that women didn't or whoever didn't dislike, didn't dislike bald people.

They kept away from them because they were stinky. They smelled awful. And that just kind of passed down where people just automatically all bald, bald, keep away.

But we don't use that stuff anymore. No, but I saw a cow in the field. How do I know you're not been spraying yourself with a cow? Which is a weird thing to say out loud.

Cow urine was recommended in traditional remedies. Sheep's wool grease, lanolin, lanolin, lanolin was applied to the scalp. So that's the first thing that sounds less.

Well, you know, there was no harm come to anyone for that one was there? Castor oil has been used for centuries to encourage hair growth. If something takes centuries, then maybe it's not working. Coconut oil has long been used to strengthen hair.

It still is, isn't it? Don't you get coconut oil in shampoo? Shampoo. No. Horse manure was mixed into hair remedies in some cultures.

You wash your hair with hair remedy, don't you? It's called shampoo. Horse manure, shampoo. No.

Peach and poo. No. Is that why it's called shampoo? Aloe vera was used to soothe the scalp.

Now, I think it still is. Aloe vera is. It's a powerful thing, isn't it? I think it's.

It's a plant, isn't it? Aloe vera. I used to eat aloe vera. I'm sure I did.

Egg yolks were rubbed into the hair. A few, by the way, if there's any background sounds, sorry about that. I can't do anything about that.

They're the shouty talkers. Vinegar, beer, beer was poured over hair as a conditioner. Who'd waste beer for something like that? Vinegar rinses were thought to restore healthy hair.

Rosemary. Rosemary was believed to stimulate hair follicles. And sage was used to darken and strengthen the hair.

Nettle leaves were made into hair tonics. Chili peppers. I've heard about this.

Chili peppers were rubbed on a scalp to increase blood flow. Because chili peppers can be used for pain relief, can't they? Mustard oil was massaged into the scalp. The same probably thing, isn't it? It's like if you make it nice and hot, the hair will come out because the hair likes the sun.

Maybe the hair thinks, oh, it's sunny out. Let's come out and sunbathe or something. Onions and honey mixtures were popular folk remedies.

Burnt hedgehog ashes were mixed with oil and applied to bald spots. That's just wrong. Oh, no, I'm not going to read some of these out.

It's a lot of animal stuff. No, no. Snake oil was sold as a cure for thinning hair.

Snake oil's got a bad rep though, isn't it? You know, I used to be called a snake oil salesman. I did. So I ended up getting a different job.

No, I did. When I first started doing this back in the middle 2000s, I'd be on Facebook and people would go into groups and people would say, no, get away from us, you snake oil salesman. I said, it's free.

It's free. Snake oil salesmen, they don't give stuff away for free. They charge.

It's free. Get away from us. I did honestly used to get a lot of that back then.

Mercury based lotions were once marketed despite being poisonous. Wow. Yeah, but cigarettes were marketed as being good for you, weren't they? In the early days.

Electric vibrating scalp massages became fashionable about 1900. Yeah, but as we know about these muscle vibrating relaxers and stuff, massages, they're not always used for what they're sold for, are they? Come on. It's a vacuum.

Oh, come on. Where is it? Oh, where is it? Oh, my laptop's playing up. Vacuum scalp cups claim to wake up sleepy follicles.

I mean, why didn't they just put on some loud music? You know, set off an alarm, use a trumpet. A gong, play some drums. You know what I'm saying? Basically, wake it up like they're asleep.

That's where I was going with that. Ultraviolet lamps were advertised for baldness. Hair tonics contained alcohol became, yeah, hair tonics containing alcohol became hugely popular in Victorian times.

Because if you put alcohol on your body, it's going to soak into your skin and into your body, which means the alcohol will become... I've got to explain that now. I mean, literally, if you were just pouring vodka over your body all day long, you wouldn't need to drink anything. It'd soak into your bloodstream, wouldn't it? I imagine.

Don't do it though. Well, some early tonics contained cocaine, but that was popular. That's the thing.

Some of these things, like Coca-Cola, used to contain cocaine right at the beginning. And of course, it was popular. It was a pick me up.

And that's when things like that were legal. They weren't illegal. You could go.

It wasn't that long ago, generally, and I'm genuinely it wasn't that long ago. I'm talking maybe 30s, 40s, where you could go into a pharmacist or chemist and just buy whatever you wanted. On the spectrum of things that are no longer legal.

As far as ingesting, anything wasn't illegal. They're basically like TikTok. You know, it's fine.

And then eventually, it went 16 plus and eventually 18 plus and eventually 21 plus and maybe eventually banned altogether. You know, not that that's happened yet, but it's like vapes. Vapes were the answer, weren't they? They were the solution.

They were the healthy option. And now you could smoke them anywhere you went. Now you can't, which I'm glad because we used to go into shops and people would be like vaping and blow all that weird smoke that smelled like strawberry in your face.

So now it's getting to the point where you can't, you can't even vape in the doctor's surgery when you're waiting to be seen. Crazy, crazy it is. Back in the 60s, maybe even the 70s, doctors used to walk around the surgical wards in hospital, patient's wards, smoking a cigarette or a pipe.

Serious. Cold water rinses were believed to strengthen roots. I was told once that if you wash your hair too often, it fizzes out.

It cleans your hair out. And I went through a period when I washed my hair every single day, twice. I do two lots, you know, every day.

So maybe that's what did it. I just wanted to have clean hair. Wearing hats was blamed for boredness by some doctors.

I've noticed, I tell you what I've noticed, because this is really about causes of boredness, but I've noticed something. People that have long hair when they're young, men that have long hair when they're young. A lot of them, a lot of people I've known rather, okay, I'm just going to talk from my own experience, including myself.

I used to have long hair when I was young. Seem to go bald or balding. And I've done this because if you pull your hair back into a ponytail, you're really pulling on the roots.

And even just when the hair's long, there's a lot of strain on the roots, isn't there? And men, I don't think men's scalps are really built for that. But it looks good when you're young. Well, it didn't for me, but if you've got the right hair, so I just had an afro that I had to try and pull into a ponytail.

Seriously, my hair's so, if you want to know what my hair's like, what it was like before I grew it long, look at Bob Dylan when he was young. That's what I looked like, like proper, proper curly, curly, curly, curly, curly, curly. And then I managed to grow it long enough to pull it into a ponytail.

So it started to look a bit straight on top, but then sometimes the little cord or whatever, or the elastic band would fling off or pop off my back and my ponytail. And my hair would just expand and I'd get stuck in the shop or wherever I was. I couldn't move because my hair was just stuck there and no one could move.

And people were like, what do we do? What do we do? I said, I don't know. Does anyone have any scissors? Yeah, I've got nothing else for that story because it didn't happen. Henna was believed to improve scalp health, avocados, pumpkin seeds, water, rice, rice, water, rather.

Modern hair transplants began in 1950s. That's the thing though. I mean, I've never, I've known, I know of people that have had hair transplants and good luck to anyone that does whatever they want to do as long as it's not harming anyone else.

I don't care. I just personally wouldn't do it. But I think it must be hard for someone that's in the public eye.

You know, if you're famous, um, yeah, it's got to be hard because people do look different without hair than what they do with hair. Some people suit it. I don't suit it.

I don't suit hair or no hair. I just don't have the right face for any kind of, anything on top doesn't make any difference. I just, I don't suit anything really.

So I don't suit bald. I think the flatter your face is, the better it is for bald. My face isn't flat.

It's fat, but it's not flat. Yeah. I don't really suit.

I wear hats now. Anyway, I'm going to wear hat forever. I've got five hats now that I wear when I go out during the summer and I'm going to get myself a peaky blinders cap for the winter.

Oh yes. And that's no lie. There's a blood pressure medication.

Oh, minoxidil was originally developed as a blood pressure medicine before its hair growth side effects was discovered. So why don't they use that then? Finasteride was developed for prostate enlargement before doctors realized it could help slow male pattern baldness. Oh, they're keeping that a secret, ain't they? There is medications that I know that causes hair growth.

I can't think of it off the top of my head. I think it might be like a steroid. So you get some steroids and do some hair growth to get some hair growth going.

Mind you, it might grow in the wrong place. You might end up with a really hairy elbow. I don't know why that's amused me.

On the inside, not the outside. The outside would be fine. But the inside.

Mind you, you could like pretend it's a mouth. So on that note, I'm going to go because I need to do a few couple of little bits. Then I'm going to take Vincent out for a wander.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye.