(no music) Whisper Wednesday | LMBYTS #1481 | Jason Newland | 5th November 2025

Hello, hello, hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep, whisper Wednesday, whisper Wednesday, whisper Wednesday, that's a good jingle, I think it is, so, hello, I've woken up quite early today, and I decided to make this recording early in the morning, now I realise you may be listening to this late at night or at night when you're sleeping, but I, this is the best time for me to actually make a whisper recording where, without being disturbed by neighbours, people shouting in the garden or Vinnie crunching on a bone or hassling me for something,

this is just the most quietest period, hopefully, so those things don't normally matter on a regular recording, because Vinnie's very much a part of my recordings, but on a whisper one, it's just, everything just seems so much louder, louder, you know, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes, I'm just going to go through some weird dreams I've just had, literally just I just dreamt that I was watching some boxing matches, but they were supposed to be kind of fun for charity kind of things and I was asked if I wanted to participate and I said no.

I don't know why, but I did.

Tyson Fury was involved, his brother, younger brother was involved, but then at one point I went up to Ricky Hatton's son and started chatting to him and then I was having a conversation with someone else about hospices and talking about real life stuff, which was kind of strange because there was a shortage of beds during the summer due to lack of funds. I was actually discussing this in the dream, all part of the same dream.

Then there was a part where I was in this, I guess like an audience, I guess, and I had this collapsible heart thing that I could open up like a toy or something and there was somebody in front of the audience, like someone talking to the audience and I was sitting next to Tyson Fury, but there was other people in the audience that I knew and this man who was at the front of the audience was trying to hypnotize everyone, but he had a really horrible voice, well,

just not to my particular liking, I guess, but really rough kind of voice and was not conducive to me relaxing, but at the same time I refused because I just wasn't going to let someone else hypnotize me and I watched as everyone else was kind of being affected and then he just walks off the stage and I look around me and I look back and everyone pretty much got their eyes closed except a couple of people.

Yes, strange dream, I think.

Then there was another, near the end of the dream, Tyson Fury had just had an interview and he finished the interview by saying thank you sir and he was being very polite and there was another part where there was upstairs or it was a different section of the building where this sporting event was going on and then downstairs, I don't know why it felt like it was downstairs, there was a bunch of celebrities taking photographs with Tyson Fury, I think it was with Tyson Fury, but these celebrities, it was groups of people, like from TV shows and stuff like that, one is that it felt familiar or seemed familiar but I couldn't quite place.

Strange, yeah, trying to think of any other dreams I had.

No, I didn't drift back into any of the older dreams, my little dream was, I'm sure there was, I had a dream the other day, actually, wait a minute, it wasn't a dream, I left my flat, this wasn't a dream, this actually really happened, I left my flat with my coat on, with my hat on, with all my lights on me, you know, to make me, actually, maybe it was during the day, so anyway, at least my hat and my coat, I leave my flat, lock the door,

start to walk downstairs and I realise I've got my pink Crocs on, which is what I wear indoors, I forgot to put my outdoor shoes on and I'm like, how can I forget to put my shoes on, what's going on, and I wonder if it's because I've added an extra thing, because I've now put socks on, so there's an extra item of activity involved in that string of activities, that form of, you know, what I'm used to doing, so normally I go into, this is the process before taking Vinnie for a walk,

I might get up, depending on whether or not I'm wearing a jacket, like a coat, or I'm going to wear my cardigan when I go out, so let's pretend I'm wearing my cardigan and it's daytime, so I get up from either this chair or the sofa, I take off that cardigan and I put it onto the sofa, I then look over to see where my water is, my water bottle, which is either near the sofa or on this desk, because I know that I'm going to have a drink of water before I leave the flat,

I then go into the toilet, do a wee wee, and then have a rinse and mouthwash, I don't know, just spray some deodorant on me, just so I don't completely stink there, although I don't think I stink, but just, you know, add a little bit of regalty, I suppose a bit of royalty to me, and then I go into the bedroom, I, what do I do?

I sit down on a bed, I put my socks on, because I don't wear socks indoors, there's something about the freedom of feet that I enjoy, and when I say freedom of feet, I'm not talking in a political way, I'm not going to be waving flags and protesting outside the House of Parliament, free my feet, nothing like that, I just, I like the, in the same way as I like to have some looseness with my body, to not be constricted by the clothing, just to be, have freedom for my shoulders,

and I feel the same way about my feet, that I'm not comparing my shoulders with my feet, there's different parts of the body that do different things, I can't rub my shoulders together, not that I would want to, but I think it's probably because when I wear my socks, I'm using my feet to walk around, so when I get back, it's quite nice to just take the socks off and let my feet relax, and even if it's a bit cold, and they feel a little bit colder than they did,

I don't know, it feels, it feels healing-y, a little bit healing-ly, you know, just quite nice, I mean the socks I've got are not tight, but at the same time they need to be not too loose either, so they don't fall down, it's a bit like a suspender belt, suspenders isn't it, that's why you have a suspender belt, because suspenders just fall down, so, that is annoying though, when you've got socks on, and they just keep falling down, and they work their way underneath your heel, it's like you're lopsided, because one side of you is taller than the other, what was that other dream?

I know it wasn't, it was a real thing, so yeah, so I get onto the bed, I sit on the bed, and this is going to depend upon whether or not I've got any clothes on, I mean generally, if it's during the day, then I'm wearing my tracksuit bottoms on, and I'll have a t-shirt, and my cardigan which I've already taken off, so I'll put my socks on, which sock do I do first?

I think I do my left foot first, I do my right foot, I always have my right foot first, and then my left foot, I'd actually, this is weird, I'd actually have to sit down on my bed, and do it, and always know which one I put on first, either way, I don't particularly like putting socks on, it's just, I went a whole winter without any socks, when I damaged my foot, and I kind of preferred it, a little bit chilly, don't need socks on in the winter really,

but I find that, okay, although we do lose heat from our head, our feet and our toes, our hands and our feet, it's also quite nice to not, or in my opinion, for me anyway, to not trap that heat as well, to let it flow, and normally I do when it comes to my head, I can't even talk about my head without visualising my bald patch, or my extremely focused alopecia, I mean, it's not growing back, I've known two people, three people with alopecia, and in all of those cases it did grow back,

depending upon their, I think stress levels has a big impact sometimes on that stuff, but with me, it's just one part, which is the back, and I don't understand it, I know some people might say, it's just called a bald patch mate, get over it, move on, it's easy for you to say, and it must have been, it was a simple sentence, just move on mate, I wouldn't have been complicated with it, unless of course you spoke a different language, and that's the first time you've ever said a sentence in English,

well done, it was probably quite difficult, and here's a Mars bar, go celebrate, I was watching Frasier yesterday, and they were in hospital, and they were at, this is Frasier and Frasier's dad, they were at the snack bar machine, they might call it a candy machine, I don't know, but I think Frasier's dad said, or it might have been Frasier, one of them anyway, it's not really relevant which one, it might have been relevant for the story, the writers of the show might have thought it was relevant, but I didn't really,

I think either of them could have wanted, or could have said the same thing, anyway, one of them said, oh look, a marathon, a marathon, and this was in the late 2000s, no, this was in probably, the late 90s, 2000s, early 2000s, or maybe 2000, so, marathon bar, see, oh, got you, oh, right, that's very strange, anyway, so, marathon bars, it's going on today, marathon bars only lasted on store shelves until 1981, even though no one knows the real reason Mars bought this candy variety, they just changed it to Snickers,

I thought everyone knew that, marathon bar, the candy bar that couldn't fit on the shelf, well, the thing is, the original one, chocolate caramel, so yeah, the marathon bar in America is not the same as the marathon in the UK, it's a different, maybe that's why they changed it, because it had the wrong name, so Snickers, Snickers bar, Snickers bar, USA, oh, got you, so I think the Snickers bar has been around for a long time in America, in the UK they changed the Snickers, because they called it marathoneer,

it may originate from America anyway, but they called it marathone, I don't know why, but from what I can see, the marathon bar in America was something completely different, and the Snickers has got nuts and stuff, the thing is, the way it was advertised, marathon, in the 80s at least, it was advertised by athletes, like Olympians, people that actually would, some of them were doing marathons, so it's kind of like an energy reuptake bar, between training sessions or, you know, so, I think changing it from marathon to Snickers took away that opportunity for sports people to advertise it,

and to pretend it was somehow, well, way healthy I guess, but to be fair, if you're an Olympian athlete, everything you eat is going to be processed healthily in your body, because you've got a healthy body, that's my full knowledge of anatomy there, I wonder if I've got any downloads today, let's have a look, I've got a couple, oh dear, so, oh yes, I'll put my socks on, and, and then, oh, before I continue, I just want to say a big thank you, to Michael, or Mike, thank you for your PayPal gift,

much appreciated, thank you very much, I'll try and do a shout out to anyone that sends me a PayPal gift, I do post a thank you on my Facebook group, which is called Jason Newland's Boring Group, but thank you, so I'm putting my socks on, and, I think my right foot's first, that's bugging me a little bit, is it my right foot or my left foot, I think it's my right foot, either way, Vinnie is going a bit haywire, there's something about me, I don't know why,

there's something about me sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on my socks, he goes, he flips, I guess, it means one of two things to him, either I'm going to take him out, well, I'm going to be leaving the building, with or without him, so, if it's with him, he's happy, if it's without him, he's not so happy, so he's just waiting to find out what it is, I think, so he's watching me, he's jumping up at me, trying to grab my socks, I guess maybe,

just in case I'm planning to leave without him, if he gets my socks and hides my sock, then I can't leave, you know, logic, no, I think I'll put my left sock on first, then I'll put my right sock on, I guess that was the only option left, wasn't it?

And, provided I'm fully dressed at this point anyway, I will walk over to where I have my big cardigan, it's like a outside cardigan really, I'll put that on, and let's hang on one of my punch bag things, it's like a punch ball, erm, so I'll put that on, I'll slip my shoes on, I think I'll possibly put my shoes on first, and, yeah, my right foot's first there, and then my left foot, I think, I'm going to be noticing this, aren't I, next time, like in a few hours when I take the little one out, is it left foot or right foot first?

I'm not a hundred percent, seriously, it's weird, when I make these recordings, first thing in the morning, I mean, sometimes I'm tired if, you know, if I've not slept enough, for whatever reason, like, if Finny wakes me up way too early, which he does, he did yesterday, but on a morning like this, took my medication last night, around, er, seven o'clock, half past seven, something like that, so, I'm not tired, and I can kind of, I feel, I don't, I'm not quite sure I'm explaining it, really, I feel different when I wake up,

first of all, to how I feel when I go to bed, or even during the day, because once I've had my breakfast, I had my morning medication, and then I had my evening medication, but I had my last meal, and it's not that I'm walking around crocky all the time, but it definitely dampens my thinking, and in some ways, which is why sometimes what I'll do is I'll have a nap, and then I'll make a podcast during the day, have a nap first, just so I can kind of, it's really weird,

have a nap in order to wake myself up, everything seems to just work a little bit, a little bit better first thing in the morning, especially when there's no distractions, no Vinnie hassling me for another treat, no neighbour in the garden shouting for a dog to come, which is fine, but don't do it, to be fair, he woke me up yesterday, did he wake me up a few days ago I think, Vinnie woke me up yesterday, usually I hear it when I'm already awake, but I'm thinking about other people who are in bed,

they don't need to hear that, like shouting, proper really loud shouting, sometimes over and over again, for a few minutes, at 4 in the morning, 5 in the morning, you know it's really early, it's not fair on the neighbours, I personally, it doesn't really affect me most of the time, but then people, whoever it is that does it, because there's quite a few dogs around here, quite a few people, it might be a different person every time, it's not, it might be, and I think it's just this area at night,

that time in the morning, you can hear a snail fart, so it's it's very much you know it's very echoey out there, but hey that's what I might be like when I'm in my 90s, so it's not, for me it's not about disliking the person, sometimes it's just the behaviour, sometimes it's just a little behaviour, it's like okay, I'm not going to dislike someone just because they wake up the whole neighbourhood every single morning at 5 o'clock, I'm not going to dislike the person for that, I'm not, I don't,

I don't, I don't, I'm sure he's a nice bloke, anyway, oh yeah so I've got my shoes on, I've put my cardigan on, so what I do now right, before I do my cardigan up, I make sure I tuck in, tuck in my t-shirt into my tracksuit bottoms, and then I get the top of my tracksuit bottoms and I turn them over, just to pull my tracksuit bottoms a little bit higher up, it's just something I've done for ages, it's part of my routine, I do up my,

yeah I do up my cardigan, and then I, I check how many poo bags I have in my right pocket of the cardigan, because this is kind of like my dog walking cardigan, if I've got, generally, I like to have more than two, can you hear my stomach rumbling, because it's nearly breakfast time, I, I think it's good to have more than two poo bags at any given time, I mean, Vinnie doesn't normally do more than one at a time, I don't mean one at a time, but one per walk,

and, he might do one in the morning, one in the evening, and that's fine, and that's his normal routine, occasionally he has to do a few more, but, so two normally would cover me, the thing is, occasionally, it's happened to me, but also occasionally, somebody would ask me if I've got a spare bag, and I've done that with someone else, and, it's, so it's handy to have quite a few bags, maybe four or five, what amazes me, I don't know why it amazes me, but, bearing in mind, as a,

as a dog owner, and this will go for all dog owners, one of the things we all have to do is pick up, after our little doggies, or big doggies, and I don't know about any other, people that take their doggies for walks in public, it's not my favourite part of the day, picking up the poo, it's not my favourite part of the whole activity, I'm not sitting here watching TV thinking, oh how long till I can pick up my next bit of dog poo, yeah that's what I'm saying,

I'm not that excited by it, however it does need to be done, and it's the law, but regardless of the law, I would pick it up anyway because, I don't want to tread in it, so, and I don't want other people treading in it either, so it's just the right thing to do, now I remember, I forgot to bring some bags out altogether, and luckily I saw a, another dog walker that I speak to, and I said can I, can I, can I borrow your bag?

Can I borrow a poo bag? And she handed me, she handed me this little black thing, flimsiest, cheapest, rubbishiest, poo bag I've seen in my life, and over time I've seen a lot of people use these poo bags, and they're absolutely, I mean, they're so, thin, and I mean literally you pick up the poo, it's like there's no bag, honestly it's just the, I'm surprised they don't find a way to make condoms out of this material, she wouldn't even know she was wearing one, that's how thin, and sensitive it is, full of sensitivity, and very hard to open,

not that you can empty it, I'm not talking, I'm talking about the poo bags now, but difficult to open as in, you know, well just opening it so you can, you put your hand in, again the poo bag, when it's empty, because these little black bags are so flimsy, and cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, really rubbish, and I see people, in the middle of a like storm, or wind, gale, rain, standing there, trying to open these flimsy little bags, and being blown all over the place, really struggling to open it,

and I'm thinking, that shortcut, financially, so spending a pound, instead of two pounds on some poo bags, is ok, it's saving you a pound, but that awkwardness, and distress, and everything that comes with using really, really I don't want to say crappy poo bags, but I guess that is the right word, it's not worth it, just to save a few pence, awful bags, absolutely, and that's another thing, when I go out, I'm prepared, with my poo bags, again, I see so many people, struggling to open their poo bags,

even the ones that have got decent poo bags, I've said the word poo, or the words poo bags, quite a lot in this recording, and I discovered from my friend downstairs that used to do this, if he's standing in the wind, trying to open these bags, he always gets, well, when I bought poo bags for Loki, I'd get the decent ones, and because he, Loki was a big dog, I think he realised he needed the decent bags, but I wouldn't get the crappy ones, for him, and I kind of talked him into getting,

spending the extra money, because it's worth it, I mean, those little black ones, just, honestly, you wouldn't, I don't think I'd use them for anything, not for anything, but just, you'd expect, it wouldn't hold a single thing, but it is why, if you had some loose change, I don't think you'd want to put it in these little black bags, these little poo bags, and I don't think you'd necessarily expect the money to still be in the bag, because it's so flimsy, just, bleh,

I think the money would just end up working it's way out through the bag, and you wouldn't put a fish in there, or tadpoles, I'm talking about the bags again, not condoms, because you'd know it wouldn't hold it, I did say tadpoles just so I could say condoms again, you're right, oh no, I'm ashamed to have said it, blah, blah, so what I did is, I realised that the secret behind poo bags being a dog walker, or you know being the parent of a little doggie needing to go out is preparation,

need to be prepared, so what I started doing is opening the bags and then putting them, turning them inside out and putting them in my pocket, so maybe two, three, four, five maybe, and put them inside my pocket, whether it's in my coat or whether it's in my cardigan, or, that's a point, where do I put them?

Yeah, if it's the summer, and I've just got a shirt, I have them in my pocket, but I always have the poo bags in my right pocket, and I have his treats in my left pocket, it's the same in my cardigan, it's also the same in my coat, so the poo bags go in the right pocket of my coat, or the right pocket of my cardigan, or the right pocket of my tracksuit bottoms, and his treats, although I've run out, but I need to get some more,

his treats are in the left hand side pocket of my tracksuit bottoms, if all I'm doing, if I'm not wearing a coat or a cardigan, it seems ages ago since I last walked around in just a shirt, but it's not really, is it? It's probably less than a month ago, August, I'd say, maybe even September, so now the 5th of November, which is Bonfire Night, do you know about Bonfire Night?

You don't know about Bonfire Night? If you were, if you're in the UK, you'll know about Bonfire Night, and you might have, if you're in another country, you may also know about it, or you may have read about it, learnt about it in school, I don't know, so basically it's an annual celebration of a thwarted terrorist attack on the Houses of Parliament, yeah, so that's it, it's Guy Fawkes planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament by putting, I might get this story a little bit wrong, but he put big barrels of gunpowder underneath the Houses of Parliament,

but it didn't go to plan, and that's it really, he got in trouble, I mean it didn't go to plan for him I mean, so it's, yeah, it didn't go off, I don't quite know what happened, I was never that interested to find out, so as a celebration I'm not quite sure how it became a celebration, but it's kind of traditional to have a bonfire with a guy being burnt, and we call it a guy, basically Guy Fawkes, so we're burning this terrorist, it's kind of weird really you think about it,

because this is something that children love to do, and it used to be a thing, I don't know if it's still a thing anymore, where we'd make lifelike dummies and put it onto the onto the bonfire, but not like a normal bonfire, I'm talking a big bonfire, so people that have their own gardens and maybe have a lot of stuff to get rid of, that would be almost like the bonfire of the year, I was going to say the bonfire of the vanities, I've never seen that movie, bonfire of the vanities,

just I didn't like the title, it seemed a little bit too potentially romantic, a bit soppy, now I might be wrong, but yeah, just the title didn't appeal to me, then there was this other thing that we used to do, which was called penny penny for a guy, was that guy for a penny, penny for a guy, penny guy, penny for a guy, something like that, and as kids we would make our own guy, so basically they just it was a stuffed stuffed clothing, it's a clothing stuffed with paper,

because it was going to be burnt on the on the bonfire, later on, and then it got to the point where lots of kids would make these up, and maybe they'd have a yeah, it ended up being like scarecrows really, but without the straw, or the stuck up on a scarecrow bit of wood in a field without any fields, or crows, I mean you could argue it's nothing like a scarecrow then, but it's kind of the same principle as far as building, although I imagine scarecrows have a lot more thought put into them,

you know with technology as it is, I'm guessing the scarecrows have been built you know over centuries and improved in order to accommodate the various different types of birds that would migrate and decide to eat the food from the fields, so in order to discourage them the scarecrow, I mean it can't just be crows that were scaring away unless it's supposed to be like a crow to scare other birds away, maybe crows are scary and other birds like crows, which sounds a bit rude, what's a crow ever done to you,

why are you being, why, I don't know, but I like to have my poop bags open, ready, so when I'm outside I can just put my hand in it, the bag, put my hand in the bag, it sounds weird if you put it in a sentence like that doesn't it, so I like to be prepared so when Vinnie does a poo I put my hand in it, in the bag, I pick up the poo, I watch other people struggling to open their bags and I'm just like why,

why don't you just open them, stick them in your pocket, I think that's a thing about the park, there's a park that goes straight in, headwards, the difference is between them and someone that backs into a parking space is the one that's backing into the parking space is thinking of the future, preparing for leaving, preparing for getting out of there, the person that's just driving straight into the parking space is thinking about now, what they're doing now, they're not thinking about after the event, I don't know if that's true or not,

it's just a psychological observation that I heard once apparently according to I don't know where was it on I think I saw it yesterday police always do that they learn just from their job that you're always backing into a space so that if you need to drive you can get away you can get to where you need to go as quick as possible and it does make sense I think backing into a parking spot or I can say a driveway backing into a driveway I would say is easier maybe not

easy but easier than pulling out of a driveway backwards because you're already on the road and you can indicate and tell people that you're going to back but if you're backing onto a road you can't see where the cars are coming I mean you literally really need somebody diverting the traffic for you I reckon if I was a car driver I would have to back onto the driveway just for that reason because it makes things easier the same as having the bags open ready there's a hero so I've got my

cardigan on I've got my boo bags in my bag in my pocket I think the next thing I do sometimes I spray deodorant on myself before I go that's the last thing I have some water and then I go to the front door then I go to the front door which is not a long journey it's really not and I just check in the mirror just to make sure I'm still beautiful so now I would put my hat on my new hat then I get my key my house key put

that in my pocket my right pocket in my trousers I get Vinnie's lead that I pin down to put that on him which is not always much fun on my back to be honest but hey sometimes he'll just sit there sometimes he'll just get excited or roll over it's just so eventually I manage to get the lead on him then we I open the door unlock the door take the chain off then unlock the door I go outside my front door close the door lock it make sure it's locked and

then I slowly make my way down stairs now I walk down the stairs slowly and he's got a tendency of stopping and starting almost like he's you know I'm sure he's not intentionally trying to trip me up that's why I didn't bother with the old was it Haley's Comet last year some kind of really big meteor shower or was it the blood moon I don't know it was some kind of big astronomic astronomic wow astronomy astronomic it's weird isn't it because literally it was astronomic but when we use the term

astronomic it usually describes big doesn't it it was an astronomic meal it was a big meal a sizeable meal an astronomic event a large event but actually I've used it in the correct context astronomic event as in meteorites or the moon or stars or space things connected to astronomy anyway the reason why I didn't bother watching Haley's Planet is because I'm too busy watching many I just miss it in the end although I remember I think it was 1999 I remember standing on top of the comedy club's roof Gina she

was the manager there and we were both watching the total eclipse of the sun and we were looking through some special tinted glass things that got in a newspaper so I knew that they'd be safe and the whole area was full of people that came out of their offices and were on the roof and this was in like London East London in the city and it was like it was quite nice it was quite a nice experience now I know I remember I don't know why I do this I don't

know why I remember but I'm pretty certain that they had an episode of EastEnders with what's his name Bill the chip shop owner so him and his wife at the time or girlfriend at the time went to Stonehenge Ian Bill I say, sorry went to Stonehenge and watched the total eclipse but there was a big adventure and different things happened and I don't know if Phil Mitchell went as well I can't remember I just got this vague memory that this happened and it's a long time ago like a long long

time ago doesn't feel like a long time although it doesn't feel like it was a short time either a bit of a contradictory statement I do I do understand so yeah once I'm outside the front door I turn round I close the door quietly and I lock it yeah that's it I check it's locked and I leave walk downstairs I've already done this bit haven't I walk down the stairs I go outside the front door the communal door and I make sure that door closes quietly and then I go to

the end of the path I have to be careful as I'm crossing the road when I go onto that path there might be dogs coming not all dogs are friendly towards Vinnie so I look to the left and then I look to the right and then I look to the left but there's a bush there so I have to try and look around the bush to make sure there's no dogs off the lead it's weird honestly all that and I know loads of people just have their dog on a loose

lead and they'll be running on pavement and the dog owner will not even be concerned about it I kind of wish I could be more like that I just don't seem to have the ability and then we cross the road I look right then left then right, left, right, left probably three times just making sure there's no cars coming and I say to Vinnie slowly slowly slowly slowly in the hope that he will walk slowly which he doesn't and he basically pulls me to the park if I had a skateboard

I wouldn't need to walk he would pull me everywhere except home crossing the same bit of road coming home he doesn't need me to walk slowly because he does because he doesn't particularly want to come home anyway I don't feel that I've really covered a huge amount of stuff in this recording I'm not going to give it a title I'm just going to trivial in whisper Wednesday but if I was going to give this a title it would definitely be poo bags I guess so I'm going to go I'm going to say thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye