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Hello hello it's me again it's me again hello hello yes it is that was the worst jingle yet it didn't rhyme it sounded awful well actually personally i thought it sounded quite nice melodic but not harmonic i don't know what that means so hello hello hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com my name is Jason Newland please only listen don't worry it's my cardigan only listen when you can safely close your eyes a couple of quick shout outs one to cleo cleo you sent me a message via my website i think and
somehow the message has gone missing and it was to do with i think you're from china and you're telling me that something i read it and i was half asleep when i read it i think i was in bed and i read it and i thought i'll read that properly later because sometimes i read a i read a message and i don't get huge amounts of messages although you can send me a personal message via my website if you want or on Facebook or wherever mind you it's not a good
advert because i might lose the message but on this occasion i lost the message so i didn't get a chance to reply so i apologize to that apologize i'm apologizing to you i apologize and uh who i don't know what else i was gonna say well i'll start off i went to aunt uncle auntie uncle sausage's um farewell ceremony today and don't worry i'm not gonna be morbid or anything like that i'm not gonna go through that stuff but it was kind of weird you know had to be done it's
a standard procedure in our society here and then i did do a little video in a cemetery outside because i got there quite early i got there i ordered a taxi yesterday for 8 30 this morning because well the i was going to say the show started at 9 30 not the show but the the ceremony started at 9 30 it's only for 15 minutes if that 10 minutes 15 minutes i think he's uh eating one of his treats he's right off his food at the moment but i think that's
because i keep giving him treats so it's kind of my own fault but hey i just sometimes think that he deserves treats you know i want him to be happy and i want him to you know do things he enjoys doing and he enjoys chomping on his treats he seems to get a lot of pleasure from that now i'm not giving him just treats and no food you know if he doesn't eat his food then i won't give him any treats until he starts eating his food again but he's been
off his food for a day or so but i have been giving him some of my food which is just as good as the food he eats so technically he's not really not been eating and he's only a tiny little thing he's the size of a parrot he's not the size of a parrot in fact parrots are probably bigger than him parrots are big and like big old things that's my impression of a parrot i didn't put a lot of effort into that i'll admit what would it sound like if
i actually did put some effort in right okay no that wasn't any better so yeah so i ordered a taxi this is a secret not really a secret but this is it's kind of something i discovered about myself more recently if i order a taxi the day before it gets me out of bed it kind of forces me to get out of bed because if a taxi turns up i'm gonna have to pay whether then they take me where i'm going or not so it's just if i'm lying in bed
which i do sometimes that's probably the best place to lie or lay what's the difference between lying and laying because lying can also be telling fibs can't it laying so getting lied to so getting lied yes that's being yeah someone lying to you but there's no you don't get laid do you oh wait a minute get okay but anyway i'll just i'll once i'm in in the morning if i know i have to be somewhere it doesn't matter what it is where it is or what it's for for some reason
i i struggle a little bit getting out of bed which is part of the reason why i really really try not to make appointments including just meeting up with people because once i make an appointment i start for some reason to be a bit fretty about it i'd be to just start um thinking about it and i don't want to that's my own issue but hey and of course you know it's like oh so i didn't want to go to this thing i don't like them well nobody likes them today
no one like wakes up or looks at the weekend their diary and thinks oh what have i got any of them things this month oh yeah i've got one got one in two weeks yay no you know the uh goodbye ceremonies are not something that anyone wants to really go to but it's it's important i guess uh i think it's fairly important so anyway i got up got up this morning i set my alarm for six o'clock i went to bed about nine o'clock because i wanted to make sure that
i was you know normally i don't sleep for like 12 13 hours but this would have been one of the nights where i probably would you know i'd wake up at half 10 in the morning and feel so refreshed but then also think oh no i've missed i've missed this event which is important so i wasn't going to allow that to happen so i set my alarm on my phone i don't have a clock i don't have one clock i don't have a watch that i wear i do have two
watches that i don't wear but they were gifts so i've kept them i don't have i don't have uh i don't have a clock on the wall i don't have all right vinnie can you make a bit more noise please oh thanks i don't have a digital clock you know like in the old days i don't know if they still make them i used to have one of them i tell you how this is how old i am right i had a digital clock that had pieces of card that used
to flip over no lights or maybe a background light but a little piece of card that flipped over to change the time from like 259 to three it's weird i'm explaining it but just like on a spiral i guess and yeah that's going back a few years i can't i'm trying to think when was the last time i had an alarm like a digital clock so quite like the radio ones so ones that had a radio on and i definitely had one when i was a kid when i was 14
15 that's for definite i probably had one earlier than that as well but definitely had one then because i used to have paper rounds and also worked in a bakery sort of had early starts there's no way i'd got up without that without the alarm and i remember actually this was or even going to school to be fair even without the alarm with without even even if i didn't have to get up early and just get up at normal time let's say 7 or 7 30 or whatever to get to
be at school for quarter to nine i would still need my alarm you know when i was when i was very little i just would get woken up but this was the point where i just kind of got up on my own and i remember there comes a time in every teenager's life when they don't want anyone walking in first thing in the morning it's yeah no one likes being called tent boy do they especially by the parents so anyway i went to went to and oh i remember once right
I woke up to this song this was when I was at school probably about in 83 1983 or 1984 one of them I'd say probably about not 1984 maybe 85 but I'm gonna say 84 as a guess everything's a guess really especially when it comes to memory memory and I woke up to this song that blew me away like it would be a radio station on I don't know what it was it was radio one or you know so I can't remember maybe just a local radio station but I woke
up to this song and for some reason for about a week the same song was being played every time I woke up a bit like Groundhog Day which in some ways my whole was you could say my whole life is in it in some ways but at school it did seem a little bit like that every day was like the same getting up doing this doing that same kind of routine but it was the same song I didn't think that it was the same day you know I didn't like oh
no I'm stuck in a time loop or I didn't have that issue I wasn't worried about that but I fell in love with this song and the song was dead ringer for love meet life and share you know what I never ever never got done for copywriting like for having a copyright music in any of these recordings like when it's on YouTube which means that none of my songs I do ever sound anything even similar to the original song I could I could sing you the whole a whole song Buddy
Holly song that I've memorized I don't know why I just did it's a new thing I've been doing and no one even know what I was like oh it's nice what was it well they might not say that was nice but I imagine people are saying nice things if you could imagine people saying things you might as well why not imagine them saying nice things you know it's the same things like I'm gonna imagine people talking about me then let them say nice things about me it's a different way to
look at things people are planning maybe they're planning to give me a surprise birthday party yeah anyway dead ringer for love I just couldn't get enough of it I had not seen the video at this point so this was like okay I'll say all week this was the Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday morning I'm partially making this up as I always do but you know it was like the first four days of the week at school Thursday evening we had top of the pops which was on I do believe 737 or
730 and that was the one time of the week it was one of the most important programs for you know young people or anyone that liked music really I mean I watched top of the pops from being a little kid all the way till when they stopped showing it you know I was it because it was a good opportunity to see who was in the charts what was relevant what people were listening to up-to-date music which is a phrase I never thought I'd say out loud I'm way out of I'm
out of it completely now when it comes to music the thing is I like music in the 2000s 2010s just you know I liked all the new music that was out sort of 10 years before I moved here I was watching video channels of music and I was up-to-date with all of the latest music it didn't stop me still loving the music that I loved before it didn't you know it didn't like one new song I like didn't knock out another song from the past it didn't erase that song you
know but more recent years I've kind of yeah I'm not I have tried I'm gonna try again I think it's easier with the videos and it is listening by hearing a song for the first time I think it's more interesting to see the video because there's more going on I think I think I know what I'm talking about I think yeah I think it is it just makes it a bit more but then there's that repetition the repetition of hearing the same song over and over again like on a radio
I remember I don't know if I was list did I hear this on a radio or I don't know but it was I didn't like it and it was Beyonce drunken love and I heard that and I'm thinking if I heard that on a radio how did I hear it on the radio because I don't even listen to the radio so I can't remember you know because a few years ago unless it was just a music video thing that I was watching a music video channel and I genuinely thought it
was the biggest pile I just didn't the videos good but I did not like the song I thought this is not even cohesive it's all off-kilter it's this it's not it's not a song it's not melodic it's a really just like what was going on here and then after hearing it a few times I really liked it Urban Musin Urban Musin I mean I do mention this before but Beyonce I mean it she is what a phenomenal voice I think the thing is with her is she could have just as
easily gone on and done kind of the same type of music or the same kind of I don't know what the correct term is but it's like Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston or Celine Dion or that kind of like balladish because of her voice how good her voice is and she would have been successful whatever she did I think she'd have been successful because she's got such a great voice but she chose to go completely different way and I mean as far as I don't know she writes all her songs
or she co-writes her songs but yeah so many this wasn't supposed to be about Beyonce but what's that got to do with Uncle Bananas not Uncle Bananas Uncle sausages sorry that's what one of the neighbors called him Uncle Bananas banana man which one of the neighbors kids saw him on that day before he went into hospital and she started calling a banana man from then on but you know she's like nine years old so I can't this is kids are innocent and they kind of you know in that way she
didn't she just found it funny that he was not funny that he was because no one knew he was old because he was a different color he was yellow and that she thought it was like he'd been eating too many bananas or something like that anyway I was a lovely picture of him in thing today and he had this is holding umbrella it's really weird because you know when you meet someone when there is it okay to say elderly someone when there's 78 Sebastian calls me elderly ten years ago was
calling me elderly but if you don't know Sebastian is he's my arch enemy he's listening to this right now though this will make him smile blimey Finny that was really loud even I heard it even uncle sausages heard it let's stop it and so yeah I was you know it's loud Wow that was that is really really noisy what was I saying Beyonce it was weird because she's so glamorous she's doing an award show and I think she was singing on an award show like big spectacular maybe it was the
Oscars or one of those kind of places and she's there with this stunning dress not that I really appreciate stunning dresses but it was even I could see it was it was clearly a lot of work put into getting dressed up playing dress up so she looks I'd probably like a billion dollars because she is a billion dollar errant she but she does she looks imagine she took hours and hours and hours and hours and hours getting ready for that performance just with the clothes pretty took a whole team of
people to put that together because it was just it's quite outrageously fab anyway she's singing she comes out singing and all the audience are loving it and the you know being watched by millions maybe billions of people around the world this live event and she's singing a song and then it's time for a husband to come on and accompany her with one of her songs Jay-Z and he pops on and he walks on in these I don't know what he was wearing they were kind of like tracksuit bottoms that were
half hanging down his bum and I don't know he kind of she looked like she was there she looked like she was there to basically be crowned a princess like it was a royal wedding he looked like he'd lost his mop he's like well I left it somewhere you know it's just the way he was dressed I mean not I dress bad I dress but he probably everything he was wearing probably one one of his socks probably cost more than my entire life's earnings but I just did the biggest sneeze
in the world just then even Vinnie stopped and looked at me like normally he'll have a look and they'll carry on but this time he actually said are you okay you all right do you need help and I don't know why but it made me laugh when I saw him come on stage he hopped on stage and it was like grabbing his crotch and I was like I'll be the Buddha back and I'll be the Buddha birth and I'm thinking oh I know because he's about 70 now and I don't
know see I'm I used to love Eminem back in the late 90s you know when he was I would argue say his peak was Stan and you know that album really liked that album a lot I'm listening to it hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times but he was in his 20s and he was dressing like that it's now in his 50s and he's still dressing like that and I don't know he had a song recently and it was about basically getting Slim Shady back or something like in this video
he's got him and him when he was back in his 20s competing against each other or something and there's no rules like okay with someone in their 50s can't because clearly I'm an example of someone in their 50s are pretty amazing but dum-dum-dum but you can't see me if it's kind of like if I was yeah I think there's the thing I've got there's an old saying isn't that you know some say oh you got a voice for radio well I've got a face for radio is you know it's the
best place although this isn't radio but this is the modern-day version of radio in a way isn't it it's just you choose your own show so instead of listening to me at nine o'clock in the evening on a Friday night or whatever you can listen to me whenever you want yeah and there's no news bulletins there's no music there you know so it's better in some ways but also a lot worse in other ways maybe maybe anyway I think Jay Z was alright I like some of his stuff the stuff
he did with Eminem was good but it just I don't know I think there's something about it would be because I think it when Eminem's like in his 70s is he still gonna be is he still gonna be doing this he's still gonna be dyeing his hair black which he does now and is he and you can see his black and his beards black dyed because you know it's he ain't you just could tell it's weird the amount of people I see who have got clearly jet black dyed beards and
you know how you can tell because their beards are jet black that's how you can tell because generally anyone over the age of 30 it's gonna have the odd gray I know some people do like you know tweezer them out I used to do that I did it's amazing I used to do that at the front of my hair and someone said to me you shouldn't do that you've only got a few gray hairs don't don't tweezer them out at the front of your hair or the back of your head
because that part start to recede or go bald or I laughed at them who's laughing now not me no I didn't why would I why would I tweezer the hairs in the back of my head I can't see them it's really weird why would that part because that's a part on a baby's head isn't it that's the fragile part for the first few weeks or whatever so why why why would that part go bald anyone I reckon I reckon I'll probably I'll still have hair in ten years I do believe
I don't mean just at the sides because I don't I can't I don't see the point in doing that myself personally just for me if I'm gonna be bald I might as well just be bald you know if I'm gonna shave my head but then I'm starting to feel more attached to my hair now that it's going and it's leaving me it's like a the end of a bad relationship and I'm like begging oh please I can change don't leave me I can change I can start changing my underpants more
than once a month I can change you know it's like but the hairs having none of it like no we're leaving but they don't but it's not a quick like a quick leave a quick gone it's like we're gonna leave you but we're gonna spend years doing it well thanks I've never really had any of those moments where I've been washing my hair and like a big amount comes out thankfully it's just great it's quite gradual very gradual I know I've had friends that had alopecia where just like clumps of
coming out and it's like I didn't know what the heck was going on and yeah I had a friend a long time ago he had alopecia and back then they didn't know what was causing it I mean I'm sure there's there's not like a only one thing that can cause it but I know stress and I know someone who's when he changes his lifestyle the alopecia stops well that's all I'm going to go into that but he he has a certain lifestyle when he changes that lifestyle when he stops doing
what he's doing his alopecia clears up and some people if they get out of the stressful situation that can also help but then there's other people that I think perhaps this there's no reason for it there's no logical explanation I wonder if I've got alopecia in the top of my head maybe that's just a temporary bald spot and it's gonna grow back yeah I'm clutching it something oh guess what in my local fields then he got me walking he basically went to the end of the road so I took him
out I took him out this morning before going to Uncle Sausage's farewell and so that was about six o'clock this morning and then I I had to really I didn't want to get ready didn't want to go out but I knew I had to have this is afterwards so I'm out in the park at six come back it's light light still at six in the morning which is good and then about half past seven I go and have a shower and as soon as I get up and go in the
bathroom and start having a shower Vinnie is very attentive to what I'm doing he's watching me I can't see him watching me because I'm in the shower and there's two doors closed but I know he's listening I mean technically I can't know that he's listening but just because I know him so well he's he seems to know when I'm going out when I'm getting ready to leave him and no it's not the only time it's not the only time I have a shower is when I leave him because that literally
would be five four four three times a year so I'm not not quite that bad but it's been more recently more often recently because of Uncle Sausage's last week I had to go to have to leave him Monday because I had a doctor's appointment I still not received the results of the blood test and then on previous to that the last time I went out was beginning of August so yes it's been a while but he started to get used to me going out every day or every every other day
and he didn't you know he kind of got used to it to the point where he didn't like it still caused a bit of a fuss but he seemed to be accepted it but now he's gone back to his old ways where he will not he would not put up with it not even for me just to go and put a rubbish bag into the rubbish bin downstairs I'm literally coming straight back Vin nope no you're not you're never coming back but I am so what I do is I leave
the door open I don't I'm not I don't leave the front door open but I leave it so it doesn't close you know well that's opening isn't it now what I mean it's not wide open it's not pushed open it's not kept open by a door opening device it's but it's kind of there's a gap a little gap so he can hear me so I can talk to him so if he barks I can talk to him as I go down the stairs all right Vinnie I'm just taking the first
step now I'm not leaving I'm coming back I'm halfway down the stairs now Vinnie I'm coming back I promise I'm near the bottom of the stairs now Vinnie okay just calm down and then I shout to him I'm going out see you later and I run off and he doesn't like that but he's quite cool he's if he can hear me he's usually okay usually but today what was I talking about Vinnie for oh yeah this morning I just couldn't but I was getting ready and he he caused a fuss
such a fuss I just feel a little bit guilty leaving him because I know how much he doesn't want me to well I know yeah he doesn't want to isn't there's no quite I mean yeah I don't know what's going on in his mind and I'm not I can't I've got no thermostat to check his emotional levels but I spent what nearly three years with him 24 hours a day pretty much so I've got to know him pretty well I would say he don't like me leaving him yeah I think
that's pretty certain to say that doesn't like me leaving him so I contended with that but I ordered a taxi and I was getting ready a taxi got it early so it was here about 20 past 8 or maybe 23 minutes past 8 but it was early but I thought well I'm ready but I was still doing the last few little bits putting stuff into a carrier bag and you know things like that make sure I had a couple of bottles of water and had my phone or else on my
wallet I always have my keys because I have to lock the door before I leave so I can't leave without my keys unless of course I mean if I lost my keys and I'd be in trouble but it's not something generally that happens although I did lose my wallet I thought I lost but technically I thought I'd lost my wallet because I couldn't find it but that is losing your wallet isn't it isn't that literally the the literal meaning of losing something not being able to find it so I had
indeed lost my wallet but I also hadn't lost it because it was it was in here somewhere and I did find it but it took quite a bit of searching and it was underneath a bunch of paperwork I think it was either on that table over there or the other table which is meaningless because you can't see where I'm pointing can you oh well but temporarily I'd lost it and I didn't really think that I was gonna have to phone the bank cancel the card that's it really there's nothing really
much else in there my bus pass I think that's it there's nothing else in there there might have been 10 or 20 pound in cash I think it's always handy to have a little bit a little bit of cash for emergencies just because I had a problem before this is during my traveling to the hospital every day where the credit card machine didn't work in the taxi and I tried it twice and it still didn't work luckily I had I think I had about a hundred pound in cash in my
wallet that I'd drawn out the day before from the cash machine because I knew it was going to be expensive I was gonna have to buy stuff in the hospital get drinks and food and stuff for me and uncle sausages so I had this cash but I wasn't going to use it in the taxi I was just going to use the card in a taxi so I paid the card I said I tried it twice didn't work it turns out it was the machine that was faulty not me and I
said look I literally just got paid yesterday I know there's enough money in there I showed him I like look got my phone and said oh is that all you got I said yeah come on that's rude he said you're rude and he said are you gonna keep saying that when anyone says you're rude and then you say you're rude is that you've been doing that for seven years can't you try something different I said I'm always trying different things always I mean I'm going to talk about squirrels again in
a minute do you mean a game okay not a game but I haven't talked about squirrels for a while and I was going to talk about squirrels and that was perhaps going to be my new my new thing what a new thing about squirrels what is it then I said I can't tell you now that's going to ruin it for everyone I want it to be a surprise okay what is this story is there a pun is it a joke what's the story it's just a little story but it's something
that will delight your world once you hear it he said really well tell me now then I said no no so I paid him the cash got out and I ran home because I just thought he was going to chase me until I told him what the story was and the next day right I get into a taxi I try and use the the card debit card I don't have any credit cards but a debit card and it declined it again I'm thinking what so I pay cash I go into
on the way yeah I go into the petrol station it declines it declines my card and I put in the code still declines it I go to the machine outside declines luckily I got my card back it didn't steal my card so I paid by cash in in the petrol station it was only to get a couple of drinks or something it wasn't anything big and I'm thinking wow this is not good I get I get to the hospital I go into Costas to buy some coffee one for I think
I might got one myself the thing is I don't drink coffee very much and I realize now why I can't drink coffee it makes me feel unwell but I used to drink coffee I used to have well there was a time when I used to drink coffee like really regularly multiple times a day and even going back many years I've been on and off the coffee I've gone years about drinking coffee and then I go periods when I'm just drinking it a lot I can't drink it really anymore and makes
me feel ill give you palpitations and stuff it's just a bit too much so anyway I got this coffee I think I got two cups of coffee because I thought I'll treat myself I'm getting him a coffee I think it was a bit of a cloudy day that day because this was during when Uncle Sausage's first went to hospital it was probably the hottest week on record in this country ever it was like really really hot you know just really hot on those days we didn't have coffee or he didn't
have coffee but he did have air-conditioning in his ward it was it wasn't like a proper air-conditioning there's one of those things where they stick a big tube out the window one of those things right that's what I mean it wasn't inbuilt to the structure of the building that's what I mean it did the job definitely and if anything they're probably better because they're dealing with direct air so you're not just spreading all around the entire building which I think is probably a good idea for a hospital not to have
air conditioning spreading the air from one ward to another doesn't seem like a very good idea generally if I think about it no I'm an expert on ward air so I've got some more bottles of water delivered today so I've now got one two three four I found seven packs of twelve is it twelve or six possibly seven packs of six I don't know so I'm really and I've got some more face wipes some more what else did I get some I've been stocking up for the rest of the year
and I'm quite pleased with how it's gone because okay it's not food and the closest thing to anything I've got there that's food well water is the most important thing in the world isn't it to have but apart from okay most of it's not going to be going into my mouth other than the water and the teabags I don't mean I eat the teabags I mean you know for tea and I've got enough teabags to last me for the rest of the year as well so that's good but everything else
is just like mouthwash toothpaste deodorant and toilet paper washing up liquid just trying to think I've also got quite a few yeah got quite a few boxes of cereal now so I've got five or six boxes of ready break about six boxes of muesli so you know it's just getting stocked up ready so I can it wasn't really about getting stocked up on food but that is that's the food isn't it this definitely can be handy because if I suddenly didn't have a penny I can still eat I've got my
breakfast cereal I can have that I've got water I've got you know so I've got the bare essentials I'm not gonna run out of toilet paper anytime soon the only thing that I need more of is shampoo don't laugh when I get in the shower I still shampoo my hair twice I do do you know people always you know people always looking those kind of people are always looking for a blame always looking for a reason to blame you know it's because of that it's because you do this because you
do that they're the ones that we thinking it's because you shampoo your hair twice a day that's why that's why it's falling out it's not why trust me I've gone periods where I've not I've not washed my hair for periods of time and it's still falling out it's not because of that besides I've had a shaven head most of my life really I don't shampoo my hair when I've got a shaven head I might give it a little bit of shampoo just but that's it just for the scalp but I
don't I don't have to do much when it's shaven and my hair's been really really short or shaven most of the time since 2002 and there's been periods when it's been really long and bushy but generally that's when I look baldest is when it's long that's when you can see the big gaps between follicles it really stands out wow it's almost like a I mean it was so it was so frizzy and long I remember my friend Luke he he said hold on a sec I said what he just walked
over to me and he parted the because I used to have my hair kind of back but sort of standing up he didn't like he said just shave it off I said no I said you're just jealous because I've got hair he didn't like that because he was bolder than me that's why I said it anyway he came I said wait a second the thing is he suited being bald that's a problem he looked good he would it wouldn't matter if he had hair or not hair he looked good it
was a good looking bloke and he had the right face structure for being bald I don't have that I don't have the right face for baldness it's not fair anyway he came up to me and he said oh stay still I thought there was a spider in my hair that's what I thought like a little money spider because he was very superstitious and he's you know your power if you get a money spider you was it you don't you like put it you you swing it around your head twice or
something and then money will come into your life he's one of these people that used to salute at magpies seriously he once said to me right okay oh don't because I think my hair was I grew my hair really it was it was really out of control and he said I don't wear it don't go out I said do you want to go to the petrol station he said can't you do something with your hair said what he said I don't want to be seen in public with you like that
all right so he was embarrassed by me so on the main road all these cars going past he's worried about me I think I'm wearing a hat just to cover my hair up what does he do he stops and salutes a bird what did I call them not pigeons the ones that steal stuff he actually salutes one of them and he's worried about embarrassing me and I said you're embarrassing I said that was embarrassing my hair you're saluting magpies while there's traffic as people on the bus going past looking at
us or looking at you and he said well what's weird about saluting about a magpie was two things first of all you saluting a magpie in itself that's weird and it's the kind of salute you were doing no no I'm joking so that's been illegal for 70 years that kind of salute so yeah no I think because he walked up to me so I'm sitting here and he said wait a second and I think he's a money spider or something so or because it was in the summer I thought maybe
something had got there he parted my hair and he said I can't believe it what I found I thought oh here we go he's going to make some joke about you know he's daddy longleg or something you know and he said I've just discovered a new rainforest tribe in your hair and have made up like this whole he was going on about how they'd like you know built this new little settlement on my bald patch very very rude I thought this is ridiculous the weird thing but then I get this
I'm sitting here the smoke alarm goes off I'm like why is the smoke alarm gone off I'm not cooking anything there's weird I go out this I could I turn it off you know I had to put a stick I'm not tall enough to reach it but Luke was tall enough so I did it a couple of times and I was like it kept coming back on again so I called him up say can you have a look at my fire alarm my smoke alarm because he was quite good with
stuff like that the way I was thinking is just take the thing off disconnect it or see if it needs new batteries or something like that because this is I can't it's like continuously he came up and I said look what if the first thing he said is first thing he said is it's your smoke alarm I said I know I know what it is I can I can hear it he said all right so that's why I called you up to help me with that because I don't know what
to do with it he said have you tried turning it off there's a button you press I said I know there's a button I have done that I've used the the broom handle I said he said why don't you use the mop handle I said Jay Z's lost it yeah that's good wasn't it the way I kind of connected it back to earlier anyway Beyonce's fuming fuming and furious and he said what I said don't worry about it and he's I said can you sort it out he said all right
he turned it off he just like pressed it because he was a lot taller than me it was about nine foot tall he bent over he had to bend down to press it and it came on again and he said well you've got something obviously you've got something setting it off are you cooking something and I said no and he opened it said no nothing he looked in the kitchen and nothing he looked in the bathroom I said I don't cook in the bathroom do I he said I don't know
with you I said what does that mean it doesn't matter but you know you do some weird things sometimes Jay okay and so I just turned my back on him I'm like I don't know what to do next the alarm goes off again and he's like presses a button at this point he starts laughing and pointing at me which is a little bit rude and so we laughing and he couldn't stop laughing he's like he couldn't talk he was laughing so much I said why are you laughing he said I've
just seen where the smoke's coming from I said what he said you know that little tribe on your board patch they've started a fire they're having a little bonfire they're having a big cookout or something that's when I knew perhaps I needed to shake my head because it's I think it's bad right because I actually at the hospital there was an emergency because this was in the summer there's lots of emergencies I'm sure but there was a serious thing the helicopter came down everyone was watching looking at sky everyone it
was like an ambulance emergency ambulance some whatever it is ambulance helicopter ambulance is that what they call them so it was coming it was a little light coming down everyone had their phones out looking at everything and they were looking at that so up in the sky and I'm looking at thinking okay well this is this is interesting I've never seen a helicopter I've seen one land in the field a couple of times but I've never seen one land at the actual hospital and they're all looking up with their phones
and I'm thinking just like come on you've seen a helicopter before why and I'm sure the people getting out of the helicopter don't want to be filmed they don't want you all staring at them and I kind of mumbled that and suddenly one person points their phone at me and another person points their phone at me and I got about 15 people pointing their phone at me I'm thinking I said that too loud and I said I didn't know what to say I embarrassed well it turned out what actually happened
they didn't hear me say that it turned out a helicopter was trying to land on my bald patch that was very long-winded wasn't it I think if I made it shorter me I don't I do I don't do short really do I everything I do is long-winded it's kind of supposed to be so I get I get there early to the hot to the the farewell ceremony and I see these squirrels so there's this whole green area like trees and shrubbery and flowers and it's really lovely I mean it'd make
a lovely garden to walk around in you know if I was in a let's say if I was in a residential care home or something in my older years that's something quite like to walk around because it's it's nature but it's it's contained it's not huge but it's definitely big enough to go for a nice walk you kind of go in a circle and having a cemetery there be quite handy wouldn't it as well save traveling so but I'm walking around and I see these two things I'm hearing a rustling
and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from now you already know it's coming from the squirrels because I mentioned the squirrels too soon didn't I but let's forget that I mentioned the squirrels it's just erased that so I'm walking through this like covering it was like a wooden structure that was built and it looks like it's been built to commemorate a specific person and so it's a lovely little structure I think there might be some seats in there so walking through they're really really being careful with my feet
in my feet in my foot in my walking trying to be calm and quiet that's what I'm trying to say and I'm not sure what I'm gonna I'm gonna turn the corner I don't know what I'm gonna see like you know it's squirrels so I don't know why I'm even going through this this part of story anyway I turn around I'm looking I'm thinking I wonder if it's another gardener I wonder if it's someone asleep I don't you know when I say asleep not buried and not someone trying to dig
themselves out I've no mean like that it's not zombies but I I wondered and I thought maybe it's someone pitched a tent and they're sleeping there and I thought I don't want to disturb them if they are it does it does look like somewhere that maybe someone climb over the fence set a tent up because it's quiet it's quiet it's quite quiet and secluded but I imagine they'd be asked to leave you know if they were seen during the day I thought maybe it's birds I mean you know it's squirrels
or I don't know why I'm going through all different particular what it might have been it might have been a UFO no anyway I turn around I see these squirrels running along the grass and because we're nearly in autumn there's quite a few leaves on the on the ground already and a lot of the fruits dropping off the trees the nuts of the hazelnut trees and I think they have hazelnuts don't they and you know different things like that so I see these things running across the ground and I'm thinking
what they are but we all know it's squirrels but they were grey squirrels now I don't know I think I'm correct in saying that in England no is it the grey squirrels that is it a red squirrels that we don't see anymore much anyway these were grey squirrels and they really matched the tree that they were climbing up and down but they were climbing up and down backwards like climbing down the tree forward it's like how I felt like going up and said how do you do that but I suppose
the answer would be well you need to be a squirrel mate don't you you need to be a squirrel you can't do this in the same way as I can't walk around in them weird shoes of yours I said but shoes aren't weird what's weird about them I just laughed and ran off sometimes that's the worst insult isn't it when you don't get an explanation but it doesn't seem any logic behind the insult so if someone laughs at my pink Crocs okay fair enough maybe to some people bright pink Crocs
look like a weird thing for adult male to be a very young handsome particularly sexy adult male like myself to be wearing in public but I happen to like the color pink I do I like pink when I was in my 30s early 30s what about 34 I was walking around in pink and white like pastel kind of pink and white like pink tops almost daring someone to say something which is a bit silly really but it's like I looked awful I really did because I shaved my head and there's
a picture of me in the newspaper when I was doing the free pain relief service 2006 I looked really bad you know I wasn't because I'd gone from being slim to putting a bit more weight on because in 2004 I lost weight 2005 2006 I put the weight back on so I did not have a six-pack so the old joke I don't have a six-pack I now have a keg something like that I know I had a whole pub and I just I had a degree of confidence for no reason
I was like well you know what I'm just gonna I'm gonna wear some nice clothes but at the same time I'm gonna look ridiculous I'm not gonna care and some of the stuff I wore wasn't maybe it was it might be too young for me even then I mean I'm not talking about I wasn't walking around in a school uniform but it might been maybe what I was I've never been I've never been particularly I would say and I'm not saying this in a negative way but just from my experience
of myself my eye for fashion is a little bit short-sighted it needs glasses you know it needs a telescope it I can't really I never really had that I've had a little help with fashion in the past a few little like being took shopping to get clothes but even then I'm thinking really you want me to wear that and I remember I had like two dates 95 one said to me because I was wearing I got yeah she took me shopping took me shopping and bought me some clothes and she
said because I was always I was used to have my shirt hanging on the outside but this is when I was really slim she said tuck it in need to tuck it in so I started tucking it in and then the next female I went a date on went with a date on went to a date on had a date with she's because I was always tucking everything in from then on thinking that every woman in the whole planet loves shirts tucked in which is a silly way to think I
think it's only about 92% so this next lady I dated she said do us a favor I said what untuck your shirt so untuck my shirt now if you do have your shirt tucked in and don't ease it is a little bit don't tuck it into your underpants because she was saying why is it all damp at the front don't worry about it but oh I'm gurgling my stomach's going I had a fried breakfast this morning after the ceremony went and had a fried breakfast so basically the people it was
there was me there was more there was more pallbearers than there was audience members okay technically technically we weren't audience members because it wasn't a show I'm using the wrong words and I did that when I was in the hospital I kept saying it's all about customers like they're patients they're not customers they're patients like okay so there was one two three four five six seven of those six were carrying the the thing to the altar the altar to the thing at the front ready for the sacrifice so no one
and there was someone in charge it was walking in front so seven of them there was me there was his old friend that he's had for years his old friends husband that he's also known pretty as maybe as long as he's known her and then her father who is like 94 four of us seven people working in in the church bit whatever it is four of us and one of those was doing the ceremony he was holding the ceremony because he's a pastor or I whatever so we left went to
a carvery and had a cooked breakfast now here's where it all went a bit wrong not not wrong in a bad way but when she said yesterday oh we're gonna go and get some breakfast afterwards I said cool I'm up for that so they gave me lift to there I gave me lift home as well which is lovely but we went to this place and I'm thinking good we'll just order a breakfast and they'll bring us a breakfast but no it was self-service now I didn't realize this so I go
in and the first thing we do is just go to the bar and order some drinks and I said I think let's have a coke please and I think two of us had cokes two of us had lemonades or something like that or fruit juice I forget and the lady behind the camera said yeah it's all you can refill I said okay I didn't like that idea I wanted a bottle I wanted to something from behind the bar I didn't want to have to walk over there and get it I
felt lazy I felt particularly lazy plus I didn't want to walk around when other people were eating I just wanted to sit down at the table and just sort of stay there until we left walking around like it's my new living room or something you know it's all these people doing in my home so I thought it's what all you can refill yeah all you can refill like well in no world am I gonna drink more than one pint of coke pretty much in a day I don't drink coke anymore
it's like I never a little bit and I thought I'd treat myself and then she said okay fair enough she gave me a glass and then someone mentioned yeah that it's over there it's the Pepsi I said Pepsi that's not coke is it and she said what I mean this is someone that works behind the bar telling me I asked for coke and she points me towards a Pepsi machine it's like no I didn't want Pepsi I wanted coke I'm terrible and I am so precious and I said I didn't
really I'm not really a big fan of Pepsi I'll have it if there's nothing else but I said if you got coke behind the bar she said we've got them in bottles not on tap I said can I have a bottle please she said okay and the bloke next to me there that the other what's her name is father said I'll have a bottle as well see he clearly also didn't fancy going up and waiting in a queue to get his you know refill or to get that so we got
a bottle each as she gets the glasses as she starts putting ice in the glass I said no ice please I really felt like I was being one of those annoying customers and I genuinely wasn't trying to be annoying in fact I told her that I said to her I hope when everyone left and went I said I wasn't trying to be awkward then I just she said don't worry she said I wasn't listening anyway I said okay but again the man next to me said no ice for me either
so she seemed to get the hump with that the lady behind the bar I don't know I mean it was you know it's quite a nice day I don't know if it's just standard to have ice but I never I do mean never have ice in my drinks ever it's just something I've learned not since I was like in my 20s it's just one of those things I don't know I don't there's something I don't drink tap water I was a bottled water it's all my little idiosyncrasies maybe maybe baby
maybe baby I had you so then right I'm thinking okay well great where's the menu there's no menu what do you mean so I'll take the drinks down it would put them on the tables she said there's no menu you just go and help yourself really self-service what's next do I have to actually cut the food up myself and put it in my own mouth I was like what's going on here the world's changing baby I mean I know I don't get out much but come on it's I'm going there's
like what's going self-service food I've never it just yeah most of it was cold not cold wasn't a hot it was kind of warm I'm not moaning I guess I am moaning on I really but I had a few bits I grabbed a sausage for Vinnie to bring back he was being all grumpy with me I wonder where we get it from does he seek is he got grumpy for me or if I got grumpy from him I don't know I think he was grumpy before he even got here he's
very temperamental unlike me so I had my I was last in the queue so I had my breakfast I just let everyone do their thing first and then I got some a few bits for me and and I'm just like okay there was a Yorkshire pudding like a breakfast Yorkshire pudding and I had one because I don't think in my entire lifespan I've ever eaten a Yorkshire pudding with a cooked breakfast ever and then a couple came behind me and the lady said why is there a Yorkshire pudding there and
he said it's a breakfast Yorkshire pudding I think he was probably trying to like because he saw that I had one of my plate perhaps he was thinking let's not just let's not make fun of this person not yet wait till he's gone we'll make fun of him they're probably sitting at home now telling their kids he saw this man oh cooked breakfast he only had a Yorkshire pudding on his plate they were talking about it for years but yeah it's quite nice because you know it's it was unusual you
know Yorkshire pudding in some egg very unusual so we have the dinner and the breakfast rather I'm guessing it was about 10 o'clock no probably half 10 about half 10 we got there I'd say half 9 yeah probably quarter past 10 half 10 I got here back here before 11 no did I nothing I got back here about half 11 something like that so we're probably in there about an hour and we were just talking about uncle sausages and they're telling me stuff that I've not heard before and I was
telling stuff that they'd not heard before because I had a lot more contact with him than anyone else I was the only person I had regular contact with him as in face-to-face because he was always whatever he did he was like a little school kid sometimes like a little naughty boy because whenever he did something that was a bit I don't know okay he'd do something and he'd say don't tell her that was his the other lady and she looked out for him she bought him used to get food once
a month and water him and over Christmas so she'd known him for a long time or he'd known her for a long time about 30 odd years but whenever he did anything that was it like that he knew that she'd disapprove of it's wear me to secrecy don't tell her she'll tell me off I'll be in trouble it's like you're 78 years old which mean you'd be in trouble you can literally do pretty much anything you want and get away with it you know within a reason and just I'm sorry
I'm old I didn't realize what I was doing oh sorry he's even in on the hospital it's like well when something happened it's like don't tell her don't tell her don't tell her like what do you mean don't tell her well she's on holiday she's she's she's it was her birthday today and I don't want her to be upset I mean this is when he was given some really really bad news I don't tell her don't let her know because it's her birthday today and I don't want to ruin her
birthday so I I I kept my promise and he told a couple of days later it turns out it wasn't her birthday her birthday was like three weeks ago and she was I think she's a little bit annoyed at me because I didn't tell her but he probably like he like don't tell her if you tell her I know you told her oh yeah but she needs to know you've you don't know he'd known me for 10 years but he'd known her for a lot longer and it's like don't tell
her if you had it like a bit of difficulty during the night don't tell her it's between me and you what in the end I mean I say in the end but like after a couple of weeks of this I just decided just to tell her stuff I said this is something else you told me not to tell you and it's funny because sometimes it's you say to me yeah you said the same to me don't tell you so you say tell us about say the same thing and then saying
don't tell them don't tell Jason what happened so yeah it's weird what I talk about I do I miss him it's such a character really I mean and I nearly made a podcast episode with him and he wants to do something in the hospital and I thought I'd be good to do but then I also knew that we were going to be interrupted continuously which is not anyone's fault it's just you know the hospital wasn't there as a recording studio for me and him and then also I said well yeah
I can bring a recorder in and we could do something he said well go home and write a script I said I don't I don't write scripts for these Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast so just he said oh come on put your head put your thinking head on it's like I'm not Wurzel Gummidge go on you can you can it was like really it's almost like he was in the middle of being rude and being complimentary at the same time so in one level saying pull your finger out
just put a bit of effort in but at the same time saying you can do it you can you can write a very clever script and then make it funny and it's like you know that's not how I do things it has to be organic and it has to be just go with it and see what happens and that was I mean literally the last time we talked about that was just before I got Covid and had to have a week off and then I came back he was asleep all
the time so I kind of just wish I'd just done it as I brought it in and said to him look I'll just edit it or do it just talk about your life talk about you know whatever just so that because at this point I've been talking about him you know since he since he went in there I've been talking about him and I kind of feel that maybe some listeners get a sense of what he was like and you know but it'd be I think it'd be nice to have
a voice to listen to to hear him you know yeah oh well I do think about that with Luke I didn't have his voice and I had one video of him with Andre or was he with Vinnie I don't know but he was I think it might have been Vinnie and like he was there and he was like playing with him and stuff and I had some videos of him with Andre and pictures and stuff I didn't really have his voice on there I had nothing was voice on and there's
a specific reason for that because he didn't want he never wanted to be on camera didn't want me filming him or recording him I said to him why don't we just do a podcast you know one time just like just a one-off it's not a hundred percent did not want it's almost like didn't want any record of himself on any type of digital format and it's a shame because it would have been nice it's the thing about him and and uncle sausages when they smiled they really smiled you know it
was a it's you could say that but anyone really couldn't I suppose but there was a there was a brightness to it there was a real uplift to this smile that was genuine it was never fake I never saw Luke put a fake smile on the whole time I knew him and uncle sausages is the same you know it didn't have to they were never in scenarios where they had to put on a fake smile so when they did smile I mean uncle sausages was smiling a lot because he loved
sport it's always excited about the next sporting event Luke and he smiled when it was just genuinely a smile if that makes sense the one thing that uncle sausages I noticed this when I was in hospital actually it wasn't only I noticed it probably because last year we got a lot closer the last year anyway and I noticed that when he looked at me sometimes he reminded me of my Nan his eyes he had the same kind of look in his eyes like smiley eyes that my Nan had and I
noticed that in hospital that he had he had that look and it kept reminding me of my Nan that kind of looking up at me with that smile the eyes it didn't need to be smiling his face his eyes were smiling and yeah yeah so I had my breakfast came back gave him the sausage he didn't want it he was really grumpy he turned his nose up at it what's that smelly thing I don't want that so I literally stole the sausage from the restaurant for him put it in a
napkin to be it wasn't really stealing because I've been very loud of it like I can't believe I've never stole a sausage before I paid for the sausage I don't think it's really stealing is it I don't think so if you go into McDonald's and you shove say you you got a quarter pounder with cheese fries and a McMuffin and you you shove the McMuffin down your pants it's not stealing is it you you bought it already so I brought the sausage back and he didn't want it he had the
up with me he really was grumpy with me so I had I didn't have anything to eat so I wasn't hungry at that point I sat down for a little while and then I went to bed had I needed to go and have a lie down so he came into the bed with me still didn't want the sausage so I brought the sausage into the bedroom with me and so when I go into the bedroom I take his food and his water in the bedroom with me I bring it back
in here so wherever whatever room we're in I make sure it's always got water and his food and I was probably at about half hour an hour little kip for about half hour to an hour maybe an hour listening to some music Radio 3 is my go-to at the moment a lot of classical sound music on there orchestras and stuff like that and I've really kind of fallen in love with Schindler's List album the music for the movie it's something about that do do do do do do Oh it's chips
it's chips I can't remember what the song is but it's it's a good song and I still think the Bon Jovi's greatest song well we're talking about songs Bon Jovi's greatest song was living on a prayer because that was out at the same time as the final countdown by Europe I do believe it's the final countdown because I used that in a joke it's kind of ruined because I've said it but when I was in my last job they were making loads of redundancies and stuff like that and that the
man who's representing the company the financial company they just bought the company I was working for they didn't know what they were gonna do with it they were looking for buyers and they just bought it for the money yeah bought it for the probably the building and whatever else so he said we're gonna try and get a buyer for this insurance company we're gonna be splitting things up but we're gonna try and get a buyer for the for the car insurance side but what we're gonna do we'll be honest with
you you know we don't know what's gonna happen and he said but we want to stay positive we appreciate you and you know all that stuff and he played a little video like showing the the company that he belonged to because they were like one of these acquisition companies so they'd buy something and sometimes they just all they do it is because they wanted the business the the customers and then they could just sell those customers to a different insurance company so he had this like little video this is what
we do this is you know and then he said he played some music and he said well we're gonna end this now gonna end this this little session because they shut all the phones off and everything so it's probably about 150 of us in there maybe less I don't maybe 150 maybe a hundred I don't know I didn't count everyone and he had this CD player and he said so we just we'll end this now with a with a song and what would be a suitable song to end this little
session with and I shouted out the final countdown and it got a good laugh because it was like you know it was the final count down for the company literally because they did close he didn't find it funny and neither did my supervisor but I thought was quite quick of me bearing in mind the situation yeah I think it was a scenario I think I was quite quick but it was ruined by me telling you right at the beginning pretty much that I was gonna shout out it was a you
know the final count down because I thought he mentioned it but living on a prayer I mean Bon Jovi did they really became like absolutely massive in the early 90s didn't they like huge Axl Rose was like the biggest thing in the world I still think like a prayer in 1985 was it still the best thing they did so good such a great song in fact I don't even remember anything they did in the 90s do I know you give love a bad name that was also in the 80s but
they were like a super group when they are absolutely massive in the 90s huh and then I got up I took Vinnie for another wander around the park oh yeah that's when we're going through the field it's a cornfield you know it's sweet corn on a cob sweet corn they're growing sweet corn I'm talking millions of sweet corns probably hundreds of thousands of sweet corns maybe millions I don't know it too many to count or too many for me to count anything like four or five fields absolutely huge amounts and
I didn't know it was a sweet corn and I saw one on the floor I said why someone dropped a sweet corn on the floor and I saw this way ahead what it is is someone had clearly just picked one off and stripped it off and it wasn't ripe but it was definitely a sweet corn and I'm thinking how much this sweet corns cost in the shop about two pound per sweet corn or something and I'm literally walking through a field millions of pounds worth of sweet corns and it was
just really for the first time it's really weird so I've never really felt that way about because I don't know much about crops I don't know much about you know what things are worth but do like sweet corns and I know that they're not cheap and to literally just pass thousands I can just put my hand out and touch thousands as I walked up a sweet corns and I'm like hmm I'm thinking when they're ripe maybe I'll just take a few for myself and maybe the rest of the country take
all of them let me just maybe just take one and see if it's if you know if I'm able to actually eat it and if I am then next year I'll do the same thing and just maybe put a few in the freezer or something I mean is it stealing it's technically it's it's coming out of the earth our earth that we all share and it's in a public place I don't know is it it's not that I'm honest I mean to me is that any different from just taking raspberries
you know picking raspberries or take you know picking bananas off a tree or apples off a tree and there's this tree it's an apple tree in the park it's inside someone's garden but there's a fence so half the apples are dropping on the field you're on the park every day I'd say probably at least 10 15 20 apples falling down I'm exaggerating for effect but a good few at least probably a handful a bowl full of apples falling down into the park it's three apples what do I do I kick
them I kick them I kick them and then I forget how to say the word kick them or the sentence I kick him along because Vinnie loves chasing them and he eats them and for some reason because they're in a tree I kind of think oh there's gotta be something wrong with them but the fact is they've fallen out of the tree because they're ripe and they're ready it's nothing's forced about the tree it wasn't it's not being it wasn't windy or anything it's just it's time for them to fall
out and I could literally just picked them up brought them home and eating them cleaned them off first got rid of the skin because you know check make sure there's nothing in them but I could have had an apple I could have put them all in the freezer with my sweetcorn put in the freezer with the sweetcorn I must have a huge freezer I did see see these these sweetcorns I would say they're about 10 15 foot high not the sweetcorns themselves but the the plants really way way taller than
me maybe not 50 foot but probably 10 foot I'd say yeah well taller than me a lot taller than me and I'm 8 foot so it's quite a good place for animals to sort of hang out and hide and the other day I saw a Bambi run through like run out of one and into into another one out of one field into another field because they're not really close together made me jump it did that's the whole story there isn't anything else I can't see nothing else that was everything sorry
sorry then I came home again had those deliveries I also got some a few grocery deliveries between two and four but they weren't groceries it was but it's just like bottles of water some breakfast cereals and a couple of packets of village treats no food I mean breakfast cereal is food but no like food food I've got my fridge is empty apart from milk I got some milk as well so other than milk some butter and a some margarine and half a tin of dog food there's nothing in my fridge
loads of breakfast cereal though yeah so what I'll do tomorrow I'll have to try and get some groceries some actual food in I'll figure that out tomorrow I could get something tonight but I don't need to I don't need to get anything I've got enough for my breakfast in the morning yeah that's fine and I have some breakfast I'll have a bowl of breakfast cereal now because I had a cooked breakfast earlier cooked dinner whatever and it's more I'll probably order get some I don't know I don't I mean I'm
not sure but get a few groceries to get them delivered tomorrow morning when I'm up and that and then I did this recording and that's that's kind of what I've done today although the council called me yesterday to say have I got the key if I still got the key to uncle sausages flat and I said yeah I say you're gonna bring it into us to the office I said no that's like that's gonna cost me pretty 40 quid to get there and back it's like no I'm not doing that
I said you want the key come and get it or I'd said all I can do is I can just leave the key in door in the lock you know for you so then when you come around you can just let yourself in and she said no can't do that because someone might come in and basically what do they call it live there for free I said well it's up to you but and then she said if you entered it if you if you cleared all the stuff that I said
no no because I did try and it first of all I was told that we needed to do that so I offered to help to bag stuff up put it outside and I did I did about 50 60 bags and then when I was a little bit unwell I went in there just and bagged up and put about another 50 bags of stuff so I've cleared most of the stuff apart from the furniture so most of it is actually bagged up I've left about 50 bags in there and the council
can come and take that the reason I didn't put those outside is because the council told me I didn't need to they said I don't worry about it we'll sort it out and then she calls up and says have I done it like no so and then the council they were here today emptying the flat downstairs and I went down I said I was just checking do you want the key for uncle sausages flat and they said no I said I'm just asking because the council phone yesterday and they said
you're going to be coming around and she said no he said I don't know anything about it I said okay don't worry so it might be a different crew that come around next week or tomorrow whenever they come I don't know but I can't guarantee I'm gonna be in it's not that I go out a lot but I might you know I might be in bed I'll be asleep I might be taking Vinnie to the park so yeah it's not that I'm gonna be out raving rave on rave on tell
me tell me I got Buddy Holly in my head recently do you ever like sit around thinking I wonder what Buddy Holly would have done if he'd been around for a long time you know because he was young he was like 22 years old I think when he when he kind of he'd had his fame and he was gone and he was so prolific in such a short time imagine what he could have accomplished between by the time he got to 30 musically he could have been I just he could
have been the big I mean it was big but he could have been like but you think now I mean he'd be in his Wow so it's in his early 20s in the 50s so it'd be this 90s now I guess but he might have been a lot of stuttering in this one today have you noticed that he might have been like the most prolific songwriter of all time there's a few really prolific songwriters but he might have been the number one Wow I remember like in the 90s I serenaded
a lady that I met and I sung true love ways she said I really I said are you I'm not gonna be rude I said I said so I'm never really sure when a woman's turned on and she said you know what I'm turned on I said why she said well you know if I'm enjoying I like getting serenaded to and when I was serenaded to that turns me on more than anything in the world I said really she did yeah so I sung true love ways to her never saw
her again after that I mean after I sung the song she she said to get out I thought it went quite well I saw her a few years later right because she was like on around the comedy scene and I said do you remember that night she said yeah I said what did I do wrong you said you liked Buddy Holly and you like being serenaded she said yeah I said well you didn't I sung it and then you kind of didn't want me you asked me to leave sort of
straight away and she said yeah I said well just wondering for the future what could I have done different she said well it was a nice song said yeah she said it was sung nicely yeah I said it's a song I like it was sung nicely I said okay so where did I go wrong she said the striptease if you didn't need that didn't need you to be stripping off while singing it I said okay I know what striptease is she said also that attitude of yours okay fair enough so
I learned something new I try and learn something new every day well I don't try but I think I probably do learn something new I don't know what I've learned today I think I'm trying to learn about myself how do I tick why do I tick what do I really feel about things who am I really who am I really where am I going what am I doing and why so on that note this has been quite a long recording but I think I needed to do a long recording so
I haven't done one for a while tomorrow I will be doing the Q&A Friday so there's still time if you go to my Facebook group Jason Newland's boring group there's a link on my website you can leave me a question underneath the image that I posted which basically says if you any questions for this week's Q&A Friday and there's a date which is the 29th of August there's a few questions already but you're welcome to add more and ideally I would say try and do it before lunchtime UK time tomorrow
because I've got a tendency of doing each normally about afternoon time sometimes the morning generally maybe afternoon because it's if it was just for like half hour 45 minutes an hour I might do it in the morning but because they are longer recording the Q&A Fridays I generally I like to give myself a bit of time and space so that's me done for today thank you for listening and remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.