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(no music) He’s been moved again | LMBYTS #1394 | Jason Newland | 17th July 2025

Recorded 17 July 2025 · 1 hr 15 min

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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

I hope you're well. Today is Thursday the 17th of July 2025. Wow! 2025? No way! Yeah.

2025. That's kind of something I should have been saying on the first of January isn't it really? It's 2025 already! Not halfway through the year. So yeah, it's a little bit overcast outside today.

Possibly gonna rain. I don't know, maybe. I'm not sure if it's warm out there or not because I haven't been outside yet.

It is 27 minutes past 8am in the morning. Vinnie's on the floor chewing on one of these chewy things. I'm feeling a bit more relaxed than I was yesterday and a lot more relaxed than I was the day before.

Now I've got the day off today. The day off from going up to the hospital to see Uncle Sausages and it feels quite nice just to, I don't know, to not have to do anything. To not go into that environment.

I'll be back again tomorrow morning but today yeah, it was weird because yesterday, on Monday, I'm not sure why but Monday I was just drained. So I visited on Monday and it was just hard work. Come home and I think I was in bed by about half six in the evening and then Tuesday I was pretty much in bed all day.

I really wasn't in the best space. I suppose just getting on top of me a little bit. But then Wednesday, yesterday, although it was also really tiring, I had a nap about 4.30 till about 5.45. Got up and it kind of felt a bit better and I didn't go to bed till about half past 10 which is, you know, it's a good time for me.

In fact it's a bit later than normal. I'm generally in bed by about 10. Although I didn't really get anything done as far as podcasting.

I did a few little bits online but didn't get much done. I kind of felt a bit better yesterday and I went to sleep and a restless night. I've had a few of those recently but that's just part, you know, sleeping is something that I do quite well.

Probably one of the things I do best of all which is why I make this podcast because I'm quite good at sleeping. I haven't always been but lately a little bit less just because of the things I've been. Well the annoying thing I said to Uncle Sausages the other day, it's bad enough I have to see you constantly but I started dreaming about you.

Get out of my dreams Uncle Sausages, leave my dreams alone. We laughed. So yeah, I'm not sure what I dreamt.

I think it's kind of a bit of an existential period of my life. It's got me thinking about stuff which is natural. I don't think it's, because I'm not caught up in the same kind of emotions that someone would be if it was a family member, you know.

I haven't got memories of being a child with him or being, you know what I mean, I've known him for 10 years, he's a neighbour. I don't have that long history. Like I would if it was like a family, if it was my dad for example.

You know, I'd be thinking about when I was seven and I'd want to hit his car, you know, things like that. Hit his car in the forest and set fire to his trousers. You know, just little things like that, happy memories, you know.

Firebombed his garage. Garage? Garage? What am I now saying? Garage? I've never said garage in my life. Garage.

Wow, I'm being, I'm changing, something's going wrong with my brain. Oh, Uncle Sausage, oh god, I can't say that, it's all about things going wrong with your brain. I had a phone call last night from Uncle Sausages and he was a little bit perplexed.

Concerned and, you know, a bit panicky and I said, what's up Uncle Sausages? He said, I've been moved. I've been moved into a room on my own and they've locked the door. I heard them lock the door.

So, I said, well, just don't worry. I'm going to go and sort it out. Just, you know, stick by the phone, answer the call when I call you.

I'm going to get it sorted out now. And, you know, call me back if you don't hear from me within the next month or so, call me back. So, he didn't laugh at that.

I called the reception in the hospital, in his ward and they said, yeah, he's been moved. He's basically in a room on his own now, which is perfect. There's no lock on the door, but they did close the door.

I don't know why they closed the door, but they closed the door. I said, well, is it okay for him to have the door open? In fact, I just said, he needs to have the door open. I don't know why they would close the door.

I mean, I suppose it's privacy for him, maybe, but he, yeah, I've seen a lot of those side doors, usually they're open because there's only a few single rooms in the ward. And that's usually, I think, for people, yeah, well, yeah, it's that kind of need to be on their own. So, I spoke to the receptionist, to the nurse or whoever it was that was on the reception.

I said, can you please just go around and reassure him of what you said to me? She told me he was fine. He'd just been moved to a room on his own and that's the next stage of his stay in that ward. Hopefully, he's been, yeah, have I told you? All right, I'll give you the update.

Okay. So, yeah, I spoke and she did do that. I phoned him up and she was doing it as I was speaking to her on the phone.

And she said, so, and she said, oh, the door, there's no lock on the door, Uncle Sausages, and you can, we can leave it open if you want. Why would they close it? That seems a bit weird. It's a little bit, I don't know, just, it seems a little bit, I mean, if he needs help, because of what I've noticed is in the hospital, some of the people, they've got those buzzers and stuff.

They can't always get to the buzzers and they're shouting for help. Now, he won't be heard. He's not got a particularly loud voice either.

So he won't be heard if he's got the door shut. Mind you, he probably phoned me. Help me.

Like, who is it? It's Uncle Sausages. What's wrong? I can't reach my drink. I want a drink of water.

It's over there. Have you tried reaching? No, I can't be bothered. You get it for me.

I can't get it for you. I'm at home. Just get it for me.

Okay. Anyway, she did that. But when I visited him earlier in the day, I said, I had a little plan.

I decided, because I'm down as his next of kin, as well as one other person, which means the doctors, anyone can talk to me. They've got permission to do that. So I went and spoke to his nurse.

I thought there was a doctor in charge, but he's no longer under the doctor. He's under a nurse who is basically trying her best to get him out of there into a hospice or a care home. That's basically the next step.

And I just thought, you know what? I sat down and she said, look, I'll just ask you what's going on with Uncle Sausages. And she said, that's a funny name. I said, I know.

It's not his real name, is it? She said, no. Why are you using that name? I said, well, kind of two reasons, really. Firstly, for his anonymity, because no one knows who I'm talking about.

She said, is that your podcast? I said, yeah, yeah. She said, you're still doing that, yeah? I said, yeah. She said, even though no one listens? I said, yeah, that's rude.

She said, you're rude. And what's the other thing I said? It was because Vinnie, he likes to give Vinnie these packs of sausages, and Vinnie calls him Uncle Sausages. And she said, but he's a dog.

I said, yeah. Dogs can't talk. I said, yeah, he can.

He calls him Uncle Sausages. She said, she just made that up for the podcast. But dogs can't talk.

I said, no one can talk. It's a podcast. None of this is real.

She said, oh, yeah, I forgot. It's me. I'm the one doing your voice right now, Mrs. Nurse.

She said, don't call me Mrs. Nurse. That's my biggest thing that I don't like in the world. I said, that's weird.

For me, it's war and hunger. That's the thing I don't like. But you don't like being called Mrs. Nurse.

That's the thing that annoys you the most about the world, is it? Okay, fair enough. We're slightly different, aren't we? She said, she hit me with an ice cube, shaped like a fish, which is weird. Just a little one.

Chucked it at me. Landed in my ear. So that's the weirdest thing in the world I've ever said.

Chucked an ice cube, shaped like a little fish, and it landed in my ear. Why did I say that? There was no reason to say that. But then you could argue there's no reason to say anything.

Talking for the sake of talking. Yep, that's moi. So I just sat down.

I said, oi, I said, can you just give me, tell me what's going on? She said, well, everything that's going on. Can you be a bit more specific? You want to know about the problems we're having, getting our driveway fixed after the botched job the builders did? I said, no, it's not really personal stuff. It's more about Uncle Sausages.

She said, okay, so you want to talk about football and his favourite football team and the golf that's coming up? I said, no, I don't want to talk about sport. I'd like to talk about his condition. And she said, oh, oh, see, a professional conversation.

I said, yeah, if you don't mind, if you just, you know. And I said, well, I've been doing a little bit of research. I know more about the, this, his condition than I ever wanted to know.

And it's really, I'm just wondering, you know, what the situation is, where we're at. And she said, well, the, it's basically being fast tracked to get into a hospice or a care home, depending on which comes available first. So he's going to be out of there as soon as possible, which is why he's been moved to his own room.

And I imagine that's why he got moved afterwards. It might just be because of the farting, because he's constantly farting, always did. It's really weird though, because he's in a room with four other men and it's turned into a farting contest.

It's really, honestly, it's like who can do the biggest, loudest, smelliest farts. And they've got a chart. They've actually got a whole kind of like, it's like a tournament that's going on in the whole hospital, different wards.

And his ward is number three on the chart now in, you know, out of all the different wards, the farting charts. And he's so pleased. He does believe he's going to get number one, he's going to win the tournament.

And I thought, well, okay, you get a trophy. Who are you going to share? You can't share it. It's one trophy.

How are you going to share that amongst the other four? He said, I don't know. That was weird. That was a very short conversation.

I think he got distracted because, I don't know, I was cutting my toenails and that seemed to put him off a little bit from his conversation. That's something like, for all the weird things that happen in a hospital ward, apparently visitors cutting their own toenails seems to be a no-no. I've seen some weird things happen in those wards, but nope, me cutting my own toenails, having a little trim of some of my hairs, you know, a bit of manscaping, as you call it.

Oh no, no, that's not allowed when you sit by the bed of a patient. So, having a shave is another one. Because he did say to me, Uncle Sausage, he said, how about a shave? I thought, okay.

So, I go down to the shops and get myself some soap and some shaving foam. So, I'm having a shave and he's saying, well, I meant me. I said, you can do what you want, but I'm having a shave.

And I said, okay, sorry. So, I start on him. He said, after about 10 minutes, he said, I said, is that okay? He said, yeah, it's nice, but I thought you were going to do my face.

So, the nurse said, basically, you know, I'm not going to get into medical terms and stuff because I don't know. I don't know any, but he's hopefully going to be moving out of there. It's just basically his organs aren't working.

So, they're not filtering out the blood. So, the toxins are affecting his brain, his mind, and which causes confusion and other things. And this is a very standard thing.

There's nothing unique about this. This is something that happens with pretty much everyone in that kind of situation. For the patient, they don't believe it.

I don't believe that's what's happening. They believe what they believe. And it's kind of opened my eyes a little bit more to belief because I know, well, I've been around enough humans to know that some people have the most outlandish beliefs.

And some people are born into a belief system and never question it. But I know people that are born into a belief system and do question it. But then it can be hard because they decide that they don't really agree with the belief system that they were born into.

But if they leave that belief system, they're potentially going to lose all their family and friends. It's a hard one, isn't it? That's the thing. I had to deal with that because, you know, I was born into Satanism.

And I remember my Nan saying, if you leave Beelzebub, she was hovering off the floor. If none of this happened, why am I saying this? I wasn't. Satanists.

Wow. My Nan was the king of Satanists. Hi Nan.

Can you imagine if I get to see her again? I'll be so excited to see her. She'll be just like, I've got some stuff to talk to you about. What's this crap about me being a Satanist? So yeah, I'm going back to Moray to see Uncle Sausages.

I'm really hoping that within the next week, he gets to move out of that hospital. Although it might be a little bit he might be a little bit better being on his own. But at the same time, that might not be good for him to be on his own.

He might need to be around people. Because he's been used to being around people. And even though he hasn't necessarily felt safe, there's a certain safety being around people as well, isn't there? I don't know how to explain that.

I would say it. There's a degree of safety in a crowd. That may be.

I don't know. I'll ask. I'll ask him.

You know, I'm just assuming certain things. But it's a very weird experience. Very strange.

And I went I went by bus yesterday. Both journeys. I think I've done both journeys once before by bus.

I think. I think I think I think yeah. Or my gone by bus and come home on a taxi.

Yesterday, I went by bus and I came home by bus. It was a long day. Very tiring.

A lot of traveling, a lot of waiting around way too many people. And so yeah, it was. It's not the best way to to travel really.

Personally. It's yeah, it's not ideal, but it's OK. It's all right.

It's all right. It's in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's OK. And I'm going to be doing the same Friday. Traveling in so I've got to get walk up to the bus stop, catch a bus.

I have to get there early because sometimes the buses get there early. So that's usually about 10, 15 minute wait for a bus. And then.

Yeah, so you got to wait for the bus. The bus gets there. It's about a half hour journey, maybe a little bit more to town on the bus.

Maybe 40 minutes and then waiting for another bus. Which takes. There might be a way of 10 minutes or something like that, not a huge amount of weight, actually, for the next bus.

And then another maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes on that bus and then another. 15 minute walk to the ward, so it stops outside the hospital. So I walk up to the hospital and then walk all the way through the hospital and to the ward.

It's a fair distance. Maybe 10, 12 minutes. Going back is a longer journey.

The buses don't sync together. So and it's probably more to do with that. I don't plan the journey back the way I plan the journey there.

So I generally end up waiting for about half an hour, about 20 minutes. Yeah, about 20 minutes for a bus at the hospital, which then takes me to. I found a way of doing it where I go up to.

Yeah, it takes me up to a certain point and then I get off, which means I've got three different buses to choose from that will take me to where I'm going. So it's quite a good thing, unless it's raining. Not so good, because then I'll be getting wet.

But I did it yesterday and I went into the petrol station, came back and I missed the next bus. But then there was another bus that came probably seven minutes later, eight minutes later. So yeah, it was pretty good.

Got back. So it's still like an hour and a half, maybe longer to get home. So yes, it's three to four hours traveling a day, depending.

I mean, it can be maybe three. Three hours, 10 minutes. Three hours, 20 minutes.

Three hours, 30 minutes. Maybe three hours, 32 minutes. It really depends.

I mean, it depends on how long the journey takes. It depends on how long I've been traveling. That makes sense.

Yeah. Uncle Sausages, his friend from abroad called me and we had a chat about Uncle Sausages. He's his oldest friend.

He's known him since, well, probably 50 years at least. Yeah, yeah, over 50 years. So he was just talking, talking about him and just, yeah, just find out how he is.

And he can't get up to see him because he's also, he's older than Uncle Sausages. And he didn't tell me, but Uncle Sausages told me that he wasn't well, physically particularly well, so he can't really travel. But they are trying to, I think he's trying to organize some things for Uncle Sausages as far as a commemorative act, a, you know, for the future when this particular story comes to an end.

So he is, he's got some things in action. So Uncle Sausages may be moved to, may move to a different place, another country to be at peace there. So I'm not 100% sure.

Now, the most important thing to Uncle Sausages, I've said Uncle Sausages way too many times today. The one most important thing for him is the golf that starts today at 9am. And he's been on about that for weeks and weeks since he got in, in fact, because it'll be four weeks tomorrow that he went in there.

Four weeks. Wow. In fact, it's four weeks today.

So it's literally today's now four weeks tomorrow will be the start of the fifth week as it were. So it's four weeks, but four weeks and the actual day was Friday. So four weeks ago tomorrow.

He right from the start, he said, I don't want to miss the golf on the 17th. And I said, don't worry about it, you'll be home in time for that. Because I had no idea what was going to happen.

I just thought he'd come in and put him on a drip, get rid of the jaundice, and then he'd be out again, a day or two later. That's what I generally thought it was. Because I've seen that before, lived in a place with someone when they went yellow, and they were on a drip, like a vitamin D drip or something like that.

And they were out after a couple of days. And that's what I generally thought it was. Well, that's what I was hoping it was something fairly simple.

That could be remedied. Maybe a lack of some kind of nutritional thing or, you know, something simple. I was kind of hoping, hoping, wishing.

And so I said to him, oh, you will be out. You'll be home by the 17th. You'll be able to watch the golf.

He said, oh, we can watch it together. I said, no, no, you can watch the golf. I'll be in my home doing what I want to do.

Because I don't want to watch the golf. And he said, why don't you watch it with me? I said, no, never. Not under any circumstances.

Am I going to sit there watching the golf? And I stuck to that. But I didn't say at the time, I didn't realize that he'd still be in hospital. So over time, he said, you know, over the first week, I'm going to miss that golf.

I said, no, you're not. He said, I would if I'm stuck in it, I'm not going to be able to watch it. Because they've got these little TVs that are not the best quality, but they don't, you don't have access to kind of all the sports channels and stuff, as far as I'm aware.

And he is sports mad, he loves sport. So I made him a promise. I said, listen, I don't want to say your name again.

So I said, you know, he said, well, I just don't want to say your name anymore during this recording. He said, it's because you said it too often. And I said, yeah.

He said, why don't you call me by my real name? I said, I don't want to do that. This is I like to keep it with names, give someone an unusual funny name or a weird name and do it like that. He said, oh, fair enough.

And I said to him, look, because he was getting really to the point where he's going to just walk out. And I didn't want him to walk out because we were still waiting to find out what could be done at this point. And I said to him, okay, I'll make you a promise.

You're going to watch the golf on the 17th of July. Bearing in mind, this was still June. Okay.

I said, you're going to watch golf on the 17th of July. Guaranteed. I promise you that even if it means me having to bring my own television into here and put it into the day room so you can go in there and watch it.

I'll bring my own massive TV, so quite a big TV. It's the only thing I can brag about when it comes to size. And he says, well, what if I'm not allowed to have the TV? I said, look, whatever happens, because I had an idea in my head.

I said, whatever happens, you're going to watch the golf. And he said, all right, okay. What I was going to do was, the ideal situation would have been that he'd be out of there by now.

He'd be in a care home, which is what I was hoping for him. Not realizing that perhaps he's beyond that now, but I was hoping that he'd perhaps get into a care home in his own room, get him a TV in there, get him set up. He's already got all the packages at home, all the sports, he's got Netflix, all that stuff.

And just get him to sign into that stuff and he can watch it and have it organized so he can have exactly how he wants it. And then he can invite friends. If he's got people that he gets on with, they can all watch it together.

The golf or boxing or whatever. Only I'm allowed to watch the boxing. Whatever sport he wanted to watch, he might have some people in there that love golf as well.

I know it's a popular sport. Those people do like it and that. I'm just not really into it myself.

I used to have a golf set. Although I used to be a professional golfer. I just lost interest.

The money was too easy. Yeah, okay. Finny's fast asleep.

So I was, I kind of thought that what I would do is, once it seemed like he wasn't going to get out anytime soon, and he was still talking about the 17th of July, that the two things he talks about, the two dates he talks about is, since he's been in there and he still talks about, it's the 17th of July, which is today, the golf starting.

And that Friday night where he went into hospital, where me and him didn't see eye to eye. And he still brings it up every now and then.

He's angry at me. The thing is, it would have been really messy if I hadn't. It would have been just, I mean, it's a terrible situation now.

But it would have been, I don't know, way worse, I believe. I might be wrong. So I saw that he was yellow, if I'd have ignored it.

And very likely he wouldn't be here now. And that he'd have been in his home with the door locked. And, you know, back then, I didn't have a key to his home.

I do now. But that's because I get stuff for him. So I've got a key and I had to, the first week or two, I had to let people in, the builders in to finish his bathroom.

That's the initial reason I had the key, because he, as well, we both thought that he'd be out back at home within a couple of days. But I realised how kind of serious it was when the paramedics got there and they were only there for a few minutes and then they were taking him out to the hospital. There was no, I've seen the paramedics at work, unfortunately, so many times.

And they do a lot of stuff in the home and they do a lot of stuff in the ambulance for a person, taking all the vitals, all that stuff. They didn't do that. With him, they just looked at him and they knew that he had to go to hospital.

They did his vitals on the way, so they put him on a machine and checked his, all the stuff, while they were taking him to hospital. But they didn't need to do any of that stuff to know that he needed to go to hospital. That's when, and I was in the ambulance with him.

So that's kind of when I realised that that maybe I was, I did the right thing. I did the correct thing. But then I'm kind of conflicted between, well, he wanted to be at home.

That's what he wanted. He wanted to be at home, watching the sport. And I took him away from that.

He wanted to be left alone. And I kind of took that away from him. It wasn't vindictive, that was because I cared.

But at the same time, I'm just like, well, did I do the right thing? You know, he's on medication. He's basically, he's not suffering physically. A little bit of, he's got a little bit of discomfort and stuff, but he's not, he's not compared to what he would have been if he was in his flat on his own, with no nothing.

No medication, no, you know, he would have, and he wouldn't have known what it was. And it just, I wouldn't, I wouldn't want anyone to go through that. And then I'm thinking, well, yeah, because I'd feel guilty.

But then it's not about me, it's about him. It's not about what I want, or what I need, it's about what he wants and needs. So, yeah, I don't know, still don't know if I did the right thing.

Because he told me to go away when I, when I said to him, oh, you're a yellow. At the time, it was a novelty, you know, it was new. It's like, oh, you're yellow.

I just, it was a bit of a shock. He laughed. And then I get home.

Well, he's not, he's not I say I get home like I traveled. I mean, I took three, three footsteps and I was home. And I started thinking about it.

And I thought, no, no, this is no good. So I, well, I've talked about what happened that night. So I won't go through it again.

But yeah, I just, I went all out to try and figure out what to do next. And even though he said, don't, I did. I'm not talking about putting weird things through his letterbox.

I talked about, that was a different time. And he wanted to be left alone. Don't you dare call paramedics.

I did. Luckily, he answered the door to them. Because they did phone him up.

And he was lovely to them. Wasn't so lovely to me, to be honest. And I remember, I was watching, because I've got my camera, so I could see that they'd arrived on my camera.

Because they'd phoned me up to tell me that he said it was okay for them to go around. So, okay. They updated me.

I said, well, that surprised me. So I heard them knock on the door. Vinnie obviously lets me know.

I've gone to bed at this stage. Because I'm thinking, because Uncle Sausages slammed the door in my face and told me to go away. When I told him that I'd contacted the paramedics.

So he wasn't happy. And I said, they're going to phone you. And he basically shut the door in my face.

And so it's 10 o'clock. I'm lying in bed. About 20 past 10.

Paramedics arrive. Half past 10. He's outside the door trying to lock his door.

With the paramedics behind him. You know, it's that quick. So I go outside, just to sort of see how he is.

Say hello to the paramedics. And I thought, I don't know if Alex is going to try and karate chop me or something. Do a swinging back kick, if that's such a thing.

And I just said, I explained to the paramedics. Because I'd already seen, oh yeah, I'd seen them earlier, going in. That's it.

They only went in and then, yeah. So I'm a little bit muddled on what happened. But I said to them, I'm the person that phoned you about him.

And they said, are you Sexy JJ? I said, yeah. I said, can I get your autograph? I said, no, not now. I'm at home.

It's all right when I'm out sometimes, you know. I'm doing a concert. I expect my fans to flock all over me.

But just, I don't need it. I don't need it when I'm at home. She said, sorry, but I'm just so excited to finally meet you.

Yeah. And one of them said, we're taking him to the hospital. He needs to go to the hospital straight away.

I said, okay. And this wasn't one of those situations. He went to the A&E, but he didn't go to the A&E and stick around.

They put him into a bed, like straight away. He wasn't in the A&E waiting for like 10, 11 hours, eight hours. He was sorted really quickly.

So they really took it super serious. And he basically, within, I'd say within about an hour, two hours of being there, when they were doing blood tests and they were checking his vitals and blood pressure and all that stuff. And he was on a monitor.

So that was all that stuff. So they were monitoring him right from the beginning. And then he had a scan a couple of hours later.

So he probably had a scan about midnight, one o'clock, something like that. And it was just a waiting game, waiting for the body scan to, it's a CAT scan he had, waiting for the results of that, which he didn't get until, he did get it, but he got it in the morning. It was always, I know it was morning then, but he got it on early Saturday, probably about eight o'clock.

At this stage, they'd moved him. Now I think they moved him about five o'clock, four or five. I left at half three, because the nurse told me it's no point waiting around.

He's not going to be moved probably till tomorrow now, or during the day. He's not going to get any, he's not going to get the results of the test, of the CAT scan, because it needs to be looked at by two different people, or, you know, because of the situation. It's not just like a, like with, with me, my CAT scan was looked at within half an hour.

That's when I fractured my back. And it's a very basic thing. But with his, it was, it was different, different situation.

So, so I left, but apparently about five o'clock they came and got him, took him into another ward, or took him into like one of the wards in the hospital. So he was in the A&E ward, or one of the wards in the A&E area. Then they, they took him, put him in another ward, and came and saw him in the morning about, I don't know, between six and eight, and told him what it was, told him what he's, you know, what they found on the scan.

This is pretty quick. I'm stretching myself. This is pretty quick.

So it's like, wow. Oh. Now he told me afterwards, a week afterwards, when he finally got told the final results of, because he had a, another full body, I don't know what they call it, but like a big scan where they do everything.

Before he got the results of that, no, after he got the results of that, he told me that he already knew, because he heard the doctors talking about him after his previous CAT scan, the first CAT scan, which explains why he was talking the way he was talking on that Saturday morning. He went outside, sat down in the sun as he was talking about, yeah, it was just some of the things he was talking about was kind of made sense.

And now bearing in mind, he kind of felt that he knew what the results were and they did.

Yeah, that was a weird, weird, weird, weirdy, weirdy, weirdy. Oh my gosh. Such a strange period of time.

So I just, yeah, there's that kind of like, oh, did I, should I have just left him? Because for me, can you hear that? Like the windows are practically closed. She's talking like she's this, this neighbor, like she's talking to someone the other side of the town. I'd say it's probably four times louder than it needs to be.

Mind you, I've known a few people like that. They just don't have the volume. One of the neighbors went to say, to see Uncle Sausage's, I think it was last week.

Or the week before last, it was something like that. And there was another neighbor in hospital. So this neighbor that lives in the same building as me, she got a lift with me in the taxi.

So she came in and she was so loud, so loud. And then I had to kind of sort of calm her down because she was talking so loud. And then she, she went off to see the other person, the other neighbor.

So we're all sitting in there. There's like one, two, three, four people in that ward. This is the previous ward that he was in.

And that neighbor came back again. Hello. Scared the heck out of everyone.

Even the nurses were jumping. They're like so loud. It was joltingly loud.

And Uncle S, I've started calling him Uncle S. S is his, Sausages. He, he said to me, get her out of there. Get her out of here now.

Because it's so loud. To be fair, I mean, she's a really nice person. Just very loud.

Auntie volume, Auntie no volume control is what I call her. And you know, it's just, it's really, really loud. So I've tried to, I've tried to like, kind of keep her in a little bit of a quiet, because there's been times when I've come in at night, I've taken Vinnie out, you know, late, like 1130 or whatever.

And I'm coming back in, I'm just being really quiet. And she might be coming home herself, or she might be just coming out of her door and I now I think once yeah she was so I'm walking up the stairs really quiet she opens the door hello Jason scared me honestly absolutely just like hello what so loud so loud she does know you that she stands really close to you and does it as well okay just step back how far back trauma to step about three miles three miles back that's it but you want me to hear it you don't

worry I'll still be out of here don't worry honestly if everyone spoke at her volume phones would not be have been invented they wouldn't be needed I just gonna gonna speak to to my friend in Australia hello friend in Australia like that hero it would so loud that one over there is kind of not as loud but more it's a different kind because she's not like this one's like she's like that all the time that's her volume this one does change your volume the one over there over there it's weird

I was I kind of some of the things I hear is just ridiculous is comparing bro I just can't I can't go into it one day I will one day I'll tell you what I heard which is ridiculous this is funny it's um it's like really too really see there's no way of explaining it without it coming across as being slightly rude and I don't want to be rude I do but I don't but I do but I don't but I do but I don't but I do but I don't

do-do-do-do-do so yeah this is just me talking about nothing really in it just look so today is boxing boxing on Saturday Dubois knocks out Alexander Usyk to become undisputed heavyweight champion of the world the first British heavyweight undisputed champion of the world in the four belt era oh my gosh yeah so could you say what do you mean in a four four belt era what are you talking about well Lennox Lewis was the last person who was British to be undisputed heavyweight champion he was the last British one to do

it to have all the main belts now at the time the WBO is still around but no one cared about it okay so this is kind of one of those things like okay the WBO got released I think it was late 80s and it's almost like they became they gave birth to themselves in order to give people like Sugar Ray Leonard and people like that a chance to win more world titles it's just like oh well I have this now this we've got this new title WBO world title and Sugar

Ray Leonard why don't you fight for it against someone that you could easily beat yeah that's a simplified version of it but what happened it wasn't classed as a proper world title until the boxers made it into a proper world title people like Chris Eubank senior or Riddick Bowe who held the heavyweight championship WBO so it's it you know it's the actual the world champions that made it into it Pacquiao held the WBO a few times when he was in his peak so became legitimatized legitimatized over the years it took

a few years I mean even in the early 90s even when Eubank and Nigel Benn were holding those titles they were stars the titles yeah you know I think it really started to become legitimate yeah it became a bit more relevant then but it's because of the because of him but yeah even so me bearing in mind that I don't even know if Lennox Lewis ever held the WBO he might have done and I think the last time he held all the titles was 2002 I think maybe 2002 something like

that it's a few years ago yeah a few years ago did he win the 88 Olympics and then he went into a term professional 90s so basically his era was the 90s all through the 90s old Lennox and he won the world title the heavyweight title three times and he unified I think twice but became undisputed once I think but now to be undisputed you have to hold all four belts so WBA WBC IBF and WBO WBO being it was the least of those I think there's a time when I

used to class it IBF as being one of the top ones but apparently WBC is classed as like the top and WBA IBF and then WBO but I think it depends on personal preference I suppose so it should be interesting I think if Usyk wins which it it'd be silly to bet your money against Usyk ever just because of how good he is but if he wins then I think I don't even know if Usyk will continue fighting or if he does he's probably gonna have a third one with Tyson

Fury who when it's announced no one will be interested I don't think I mean come the actual fight night it'll be interesting because I still think that Tyson Fury could do the job if he just didn't mess around and he got on with it and he actually had a game plan and he went to the body and those uppercuts he was doing so good with the uppercuts but he kind of I think what what Tyson Fury has to do like I'm an expert but do what he did with Wilder in

the second fight go in there and absolutely put it on him put everything on him no messing around no superb boxing you know just go in there and just absolutely throw bombs and that that might be the difference you know throw uppercut uppercut uppercut baby nothing but uppercuts eating my buttercups full of chocolate so yeah that's what I'm thinking because then it could be a good fight but I can't say I really super enjoyed the fights he had with Usyk because although Usyk is brilliant it's it's not necessarily it's kind

of he'll fight an exciting fighter and he he dampens down the excitement of that fighter a little bit what with Tyson Fury can do so when Tyson Fury fought Dillian White you know it made Dillian White look below average and you know Dillian White was fit for that fight a fit Dillian White is never going to be below average very he's a very powerful man very tough man and Tyson Fury made him look like a beginner so that's something that I think I think people may have forgotten just because of

the Usyk getting beaten by Usyk how good Tyson Fury actually is and can be because that was only a couple of fights ago that he he did yeah it wasn't that long ago was it a couple of years ago that he did wild not wilder Dillian White and he basically outboxed Chizora.

Chizora hardly laid a glove on him and now Chizora is almost in a peak of his career at 42 is it's a weird one yeah I think it's still be nice to see I'd like to see yeah I'd like to see Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury I would like to seen it you know five years ago but yeah let's let's do it baby or six seven years ago even but yeah I feel yes just let's do it let's put that on why not because you know they go about Anthony Joshua

oh he's blah blah blah blah blah oh he's no good anymore he's lost it and like okay well right he lost to Usyk the same as Tyson Fury the same as every single person that Usyk has faced so there's no shame in that losing to Usyk doesn't mean that your career is over look at Daniel Dubois he lost to Usyk got knocked out by Usyk and he's now world champion about to fight Usyk again so the only other fight that Anthony Joshua has lost was against Dubois with a few months

back so looking at that it it was not completely one-sided I mean you could argue it was one-sided but Joshua did throw some pretty heavy punches and he wobbled Dubois I mean he himself was put down on the floor a few times but he did also wobble Dubois and if you look at Nganu Tyson Fury fought Nganu and got knocked down and managed to get a points win Anthony Joshua went in and knocked Nganu flat out knocked him down knocked him out knocked him down twice and it was done I

don't think he even took a punch so have them fight each other Tyson Fury Anthony Joshua I don't think it really matter because I think they're kind of both at the same level now they're both in a sense of they're both the same kind of ages they are at the tail ends of their careers just for the fact that they're they're both heading on to 40 now 37 or whatever 38 37 I know Foreman won the world heavyweight title when he was 44 let's just just stop talking about that and

so there you know they're leaving their best maybe behind but when you got two people on the same level it can be amazing look at Conor Benn and Eubank jr. they're both on the same kind of level Eubank jr. is kind of on his he's like a tail end of his career Conor Benn hadn't fought for about two years had any proper fights for you know for a while been out of action I think it was out of action 18 months before he had this fight with Eubank jr. and they

put on a lovely little show was ever so lovely some would say glorious so I'm just thinking sometimes the best boxing that you'll see is between two complete unknowns who are just starting out or maybe they've just got a really they haven't got a very good record they might have lost loads but their styles gelled and it might be one of the most exciting fights you ever see ever if you get to see it but you might not get to see it it might be on some satellite channel that no

one watches on a boxing card that no one knows about so you know it's some it's some amazing fights out there that don't get the attention because they're not famous people or they're not promoted by a famous promoter I don't know how I got talking about boxing I really don't know sorry I apologize I apologize to everybody for talking about boxing I didn't mean to no it just happened sorry about that oh I'm always always apologizing for things that just I don't mean to do oh I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry might as well wear a t-shirt was saying I'm sorry mm-hmm so yeah that's it that's it yeah I'm gonna take the old little farty pants here out for a wander in the park and then I might treat myself to a toilet at myself treat myself to a poo keep talking about poo I don't know why and need to do some laundry today yeah I do need to do some laundry I'm just gonna relax have a relaxing day yes so I'm going thank you for listening please remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of bye

Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.