(no music) (10 hours) #18 Train spotters - SLEEPY Boring Objects (Jason Newland) (7th October 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Boring Objects. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Now, in these recordings, I choose an object or subject and talk boringly about that thing so that your mind can just slow down and relax. And maybe you may even choose to fall asleep. So during this recording, I'd like you to let go of everything.

Completely let go of everything. Relax deeply and just be bored by my boringness, my general boringness. Even if the subject is not as boring as you think you'd like it to be, remember that I am really the most boring human being on the planet.

And that's no joke. I really am the most boring person. So allow my superpower of boringness to spread through the internet into your lovely ears and soothe your mind.

Calm your brain and relax. Deeply, deeply relax your body. That's not bad, is it, for the price? For the price you're paying? Oh, you're not paying? Oh good, it's free.

It's not bad for a free service. You get to deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yeah, but anyway, I'm not really here to make silly noises, although, you know, I'm happy to do that because it's my favourite thing. But, let's get back to being serious.

So, I had a request on YouTube. I think it was I Like Kissing Toads or something. I forget the name of the YouTube channel.

Anyway, he asked me to do a podcast, do one of these with the subject of games. Games. And then he said, any type of games.

Games. So, I thought, okay. And I started thinking, well, I've started thinking now actually, what kind of games? Because there's lots of type of games, isn't there? There's board games, and very well, well named really, because they're boring.

Although some people love them. Some people have game night. We'll play board games tonight.

It's Tuesday. Oh, that's a day I'd look forward to. I just am not into that stuff, I guess.

Each to their own, isn't it? Some people love train spotting. Some people like making fun of train spotters. I'm neither of those.

I'm just quite, quite neutral on the subject. Because I can see, I've got a little bit of a train spotter inside me. I've got a little train.

No, actually, that sounds wrong. I've got. Yeah, that sounds really wrong, doesn't it? Sounds like I may became really good friends with a train spotter.

And I have an understanding a little bit of this. Okay, I'll explain it. When I was about 11, 11, maybe years old, I had this book, and it's a little book.

But it's full of train numbers. So basically, it was a train spotting book full of train numbers. And the idea was to cross out all the different numbers that you get to see.

Now, regardless of how absolutely mind dumbing, pulling your hair out tedious that sounds to 11 year old, maybe it's not quite as boring, because there's a lot of things that adults do that 11 year olds have never done. And the more enjoyable than sitting on a platform, waiting for a train to turn up, so that you can cross off, cross off a registration number. I mean, you know, but there's something about finishing something about completion, completion, something about having such a big task ahead of you.

And once you start that journey, some people feel that they have to continue that journey until the very last number is crossed off. And that in itself can have such a satisfactory feeling arise that actually, train spotters are happy that what they're doing makes them happy. And my you know, I used to make fun of train spotters when I was about seven.

I remember I used to, you know, chuck conkers at them and things like that. It's like any other seven year old pour milk over their head, you know, just normal stuff. And send them rattlesnakes in the post, you know, just normal things that you do to transport when you're seven.

As I'm just saying, these are all adults is that I didn't know any kids that train spotted. We were too busy kissing girls and boys and stuff at that age. Didn't have time to busy building relationships didn't have time to sit around waiting for a train.

But I got a lot of respect for train spotters, in a way. Because the first time they're doing something that they absolutely love doing. And there's a lot of people in the world that never have never done that.

Some people never find out what they love doing. Because either they haven't searched, or they haven't searched enough. Because if you search long enough, you will find something that that tickles you in places that nothing else does.

Okay, that sounded weird. reaches play, you know, it is stimulates the stimulates a part of your brain. That's what I'm trying to say stimulates a part of your brain gives you something that nothing else can possibly provide you.

There's a poem there somewhere, isn't there? I might write a poem about train spots. But they're happy because they've found the thing that they love doing. And you know what, they're doing it.

And they're going against society's rules and expectations. And they're doing it anyway. They're going out there early in the morning, maybe at the weekend, if they have to work, or go school, college, whatever.

They're there on a Saturday morning early, early, early, early drinking out of a flask. They're whatever it is they drink out of a flask. But they're happy, really, really happy doing what they do.

And it does bring meaning to their life. brings purpose to their life. Because you know what I realized, I realized, well, I'll give you a you know, a background to this realization.

For a long time, I'm talking 4045 years. Ever since I was really capable of, well, ever since I really kind of thought about stuff, which is a long time, I've, I was a thinker when I was a kid. It's a lot, I used to think about stuff, used to contemplate a lot.

And being happy is a state of mind, obviously. But you know what, people that are super rich, living on a yacht, or, you know, traveling the world, they're no happier than a train spotter sitting on a track or not on the track. Obviously, that's that's an unhappy transport, isn't it? sitting on track, sitting on the platform, waiting for a train to pull up so they could take down the number.

Now, I imagine, if there's any train spotters listening to this, first of all, they'd probably be a bit thankful that at last after, you know, maybe 150 years, someone's come to their aid, someone's come to their defense. After all this time, some, when I say 150 years, I don't mean of them doing it, but of trains being around, you know, 200 years, maybe. But last someone's come to the defense of a train spotter.

And let's face it, if I hadn't done it, who else would? Unlikely to ever be ever be done. So I feel like I've helped in a way that is immeasurable with a ruler, or a tape measure. And I don't mean because it's so micro, microscopic, that tape measure won't even you can't see anything.

I'm talking it's too big. Too big. Yeah.

Not tiny. You know, you know, you try and pull it out, the tape measure just won't register it. So come on, it's got to be at least two inches there.

And nothing like no doesn't doesn't register. That's impossible. You know, it must be cold.

It's because it's cold. That's why then I realized maybe I shouldn't do outside and should measure it in the warm. It's not about me.

This is about train spotters. It's about train spotters. And the train spotters are probably listening to this thinking.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're right. Train spot is groovy man. Train spotting is good.

But I imagine some train spots listen to this thinking. I'd rather be on the yacht. I'd rather be a millionaire and be, you know, spending time with models and and have fast cars and have money.

And why do you feel I'm sitting on this train platform at 630 on a Saturday morning? It's because I don't have anything else. I don't have a wife or a husband. I'm making out that women train spot.

We all know it's only men. But let's let's pretend for a second that women train spot. Let's pretend.

Let's pretend. And I guess some people would rather be living on a yacht or sleeping in a mansion every night than train spotting. But I reckon if you took a train spotter out of his council house and put him living in a, you know, huge mansion.

With millions and millions of pounds in the bank, his own yacht, own private jet and unlimited supply of mass bars. OK. I reckon that that train spotter would still wake up early on a Saturday morning and want to go to the local train station.

And sit on the platform. Yeah, that's what I think. And you know what? I'm going to decide I've decided it's fact.

You know, people don't people don't seem that interested in facts anymore. You know, I noticed that in there was a time in the past we didn't have any internet and people would just regurgitate stuff that they'd heard. And then a person that they told would then regurgitate it to someone else.

But it would get distorted along the way. There's a term for it, but I don't know if it's it's socially acceptable to use this term, but Chinese whispers where, you know, it's like a photocopying machine. As the ink runs out or whatever is used to make the image or, you know, the dark paper, the printing or whatever.

I say whatever because I don't know if they use ink anymore. Isn't there some kind of special thing? Anyway, it's not relevant. Well, it is to the to the people using it.

With a photocopy, you've got the original image. And then you got the photocopy. And then when you keep photocopying off of the photocopy version, eventually, it starts to fade.

It loses its original sharpness. So when people tell a story, or tell a fact, the fact changes over time. Because the story or the is gradually distorted, not purposefully just just happens because we're humans.

And then eventually, it almost it can be transformed into something completely different. You know, it's like transformed from Bill Gates used to is a used to eat a lot of bananas when he was first building his first computer. He used to eat bananas all day long when he's building his first computer to Bill Gates is a banana, or Bill Gates invented volcanoes.

And I can just go in such a strange direction. But I'm into facts. I like facts.

And we can now fact check on YouTube, even though YouTube, not YouTube on online on the internet. Even though there's a lot of misinformation and just wrong stuff and made up stuff and blatant lies online, it's still going to be more correct than the person that spoke to you and told you. Because basically, the only information we can really tell each other is information about ourselves.

And even that might be a lie. Interesting, isn't it? I think I actually sat with some transpos once. And I think that was with my brother, when I was about 11.

And he had his book. I think I might have had a book as well. He used is to, I think he was planning to fillet, you know, to cross off all the different numbers of the trains that he found.

And I use mine to stop my table from wobbling. I put it under one of the you know, things. So it was useful for both of us.

So I didn't realize before I decided to make this recording that I was going to end up being the national champion of train spotters, which is why I've turned into the national champion of train spotters. Wow. I suppose if you're gonna big up anyone, I mean, train spotters seems to be the thing, you know, the obvious one.

They sit out in all weathers. Some of them don't even wear hats. Most of them wear trousers.

And that's going to be quite uncomfortable. Because trousers, I find, seem to reach up a tightly in the crotch when you're sitting down, which is okay temporarily. Because having my blood circulation cut off from my groin is one of my favorite things.

But it can be quite nice to have some sweatpants or we call them tracksuit bottoms here. And to keep us feeling nice and relaxed and smooth and free to just, you know, it's all, it's lovely. I think I've become a savior, the savior of train spotters.

I just hope I get treated a bit better than the last savior. Just a little bit of respect, a little bit of appreciation, a bit of cake. So that's the end of my podcast.

It's train spotting, not games, apparently. So thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.