(10 hours) #20 BEDS - SLEEPY Boring objects (Jason Newland) (11th October 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Boring Objects. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now the point of this podcast is for me to talk to you about a boring object or subject and you can relax, feel calm and loose and let go of all the other stuff in your life and as I talk my boring voice will just send your mind to sleep through boredom and you'll feel more relaxed.

Now even though this is called Boring Objects, some of the objects, subjects, whatever that I discuss would not be boring to a lot of people. They're basically just, it should really be called me being boring talking about something, whatever it may be. So today what should I talk about? Let me think.

Hmm I'll talk about beds. Talk about beds, that's what I'm going to talk about. Now I'm 51 years old and I only sound about 12.

Oh no I sound very young but I am indeed very ancient. I'm so old when I fart I actually fart dust, it's true. I'm so old but 51 and I've slept in quite a few beds over the years and I'll just let you know there might be background sounds which is out of my control because unfortunately there are other human beings around and so I can't control their big loud gobs or for my neighbour from slamming his door continuously almost as if he's trying to put together some kind of drum beat or something.

He's always, he slammed his door and it shakes my flat, it's like a little mini mini pretend earthquake. I say that but I've not really experienced an earthquake thankfully but there was a bomb went off back in 2000 and no 1996 a bomb went off in Docklands and it shook the whole of the east end of London and I mean shook and there was a big loud roar so that's one of the closest I've ever been to even close to that kind of experience and the whole building shook and we went outside and everyone all the other neighbours were coming out as well going what was that and we

said we don't know what was that someone else came what was that we just said we just told the other neighbour we don't know so I said come and say what was that I said look is anyone listening to us we said we don't know and then my neighbour's daughter came out and said what was that and the next door neighbour said where were you we've already had this conversation and yeah it was very weird and it really was a case of looking at the news to find out it was

it was clear it was very serious it was a stuff like that doesn't happen you know for no reason it was an explosion of some kind I thought maybe maybe our government would do a nuclear test in uh underneath the city again but uh no it wasn't that it was a boom a boom had gone off in the Docklands which was in east London where the docks used to be hence the word Docklands which is now kind of the hub of the city um but it didn't used to be it

used to just be very smelly area with you know from all the horrible decaying water it was it was proper pongy honestly when they built houses and flats there and as they were building up the area no one could have their windows open because of the smell of the of the river because it was so ping pongy it really was it was awful I tell you it was awful for them not for me because I didn't live there I just found it funny because I was young back then and I

had no kinds of empathy in me I didn't understand that other people could have feelings and I didn't care either no not much has changed so yeah I I've been in a lot of beds slept in a lot of beds over the years and I've moved house probably over 50 times since I was born maybe 60 times you know it's been quite a few times and I suppose my first bed was inside my mum's tummy you know I slept there for nine months so I do wonder I mean was it

a really big bed as I started you know my body started developing into a body or was it you know did I have to sleep on the same bed from when I was like a tiny embryo to being you know nine months old I mean that explain why babies are curled up because they can't they can't stretch out on the bed because it's not big enough maybe so yeah I was born and the first bed I don't remember what my first bed was I do have a recollection a little recollection

of sleeping in a cot listening to Gary Glitter singing I love you love it was like I love you love she loves you too love I love you love me love and it was a big hit but I was too young to really know who he was or anything but I remember the song very clearly I don't know why but I do and then I think I slept in there's one bed I slept when I was living with my mum and my brothers and it was a bunk bed so I

think I probably slept on the bottom of the bunk bed because the oldest brother would normally sleep at the top I think and I think so anyway I remember that because in that I remember there was a party going on outside the not outside the house but outside I was in the bedroom and it was in the living room and I was seeing the the the wallpaper moving around so I got scared and I went out into the living room to tell my mum and her and everyone else that was

there found it hilarious so you know I remember that and then after that the bed I slept in was in a dormitory in a children's home run by the Catholic Church with nuns yeah nuns and there must have been one two three four five six seven there must have been 12 mate or more beds in there maybe 15 20 I don't know there's quite a few beds either side of the room and there was enough I think it was like a little wardrobe and a bedside like cabinet thing and then

the next bed was there so there was there was lots of beds in that and it was a big room and next to the room was a bathroom you know toilets and sinks and stuff and they were just standard beds I don't remember much about them just a normal bed but we all had we all had our own beds and I think my bed was near a window because when I went there for the first day I had a can of coke and I put it on the windowsill and one

of the ladies said to me I wouldn't leave it there someone will probably steal it the nun laughed and I laughed didn't know what I was laughing at but I laughed anyway because I wanted to build rapport with her and you know get some money in the bank early on you know didn't work anyway I went around got the tour of the place came back my can of coke was gone so yeah it wasn't a joke so there was a windowsill there I imagine some of you are listening to this

thinking we don't want to hear about the windowsill Jay we want to hear about the beds this is about beds we were really looking forward to hearing about the beds windowsills not really it's a distraction if if nothing else is a distraction please can we get back to the beds so okay fair enough all right okay I'm listening I'm gonna do what I can so the beds um don't remember those beds other than I slept in them I don't know if they were comfortable or not I can't remember and then

after that I had I was in another children's home before that I don't remember the bed or the sleeping situation at all so by the time I was five and six I was starting to I can kind of remember stuff a bit more clearly from that time when I was seven I moved in with my dad and his new wife and we lived in this place where there was I'm not sure I think I might have shared the bed with my brother I'm not 100 sure but there was there was

or it might be bunk beds again I said I'm not I don't really know but we weren't living there for long and then we moved into a council house I had my own bed and my two brothers lived in another room a bigger room with bunk beds so I had my own bed and it was all right I had a picture of Bruce Lee on the wall I didn't know who he was and that started me on the road to martial arts and stuff as I when I got older but

um yeah I liked that little room it was big enough for my needs and then I we moved to another house when I was about eight because my little brother was born which meant oh carry bag just fell on the floor made me jump yeah we moved my little brother was born when I was eight so we had to move because there wasn't enough room in the place for all of us I mean I suggested that one of my brothers moved out but I didn't seem to you know I didn't

get many votes but I thought you know no one listens to my ideas I said the oldest brother he can go he can leave now he's 12 now he can go and get a job my dad agreed but no one else did so then um we moved to this bigger house which meant I had my own we all had our own rooms and I had a bed now it might have been exactly the same bed as what I had before it might have been I don't know but in my memory

it was comfortable because no I had no issue with it and I slept fine and then I moved up to the top of the of the house and yeah I probably just had the same bed so that was fine so from the ages of you know nine or just before I was nine to the ages of 15 I imagine I probably just had the same bed for those years um there's a chance they might have got a different bed at some point but I think it was the same bed and

then I moved out when the parents split up I moved in with my step-mom with my step-mom my little brother into my step-mom my step-nan's flat and there's not enough room there for all of us so my little brother and his mum slept in one bed in a room I slept in on a it's like this camping bed like you pull out I slept on there in the living room for not you know not shy of a year it wasn't for nearly a year and maybe a little bit less maybe

10 months maybe in nearly a year so I moved there and lived like that for that time so that was uh not great as you can imagine no privacy at 15 and then I turned to 16 and still no privacy you know it's not a good age to have zero privacy and then I moved out there and got my own flat above the chip shop that I worked and my dad's out of storage he got my childhood bed which was I don't know did he give me childhood bed yeah it

was a single bed I don't know why this image that I had a double bed but I couldn't have done must have been a single bed anyway I moved I moved into this place and it was lovely to have a bed again it was nice uh not ideal to live above where you work you know and my boss had access to the flat because he had one of the rooms was his office that was locked um that he so he had to have access the whole time and then after living

there for how long did I live there for um a year I think I don't know if I was there for that long I was there for I don't know how long I was there for so 1980s probably 1987 about April time I was living there until about April 1988 so it seemed like forever but it wasn't a long time it's about a year and then I moved into my dad's house for a short time and lived in his spare room and there was a bed in there a new bed

and everything so I slept in there so that was a nice bed it was an okay bed you know it was all right quite comfortable that was temporary it was a temporary situation I moved out of there within three months I was out of there and then I was living above because I was working at the co-op uh supermarket and I started living above the co-op in a flat it was rented out by the manager there and so I was living in a room on my own or you know separate

to her she had her own room a bigger room I was in a smaller room but it was fine and the bed is fairly comfy it was comfortable it was an okay bed proper bed and then she lost her job and we were evicted so I moved into a another bed another bed another room had a bed can't remember that one the next one I can't remember uh can't remember the bed I stayed in I stayed in my friend's mother's house for a little while and she had a bed the

bed was fine it was a nice house and I was working and I decided to go to Spain to live and work and I ended up just going for half the afternoon and I came back so I'd kind of given I didn't have anywhere to live then so I I stayed with a couple of people temporarily while I've tried to find somewhere to live and someone that I'd met at work wanted me to move into their place and look after their daughter and take her to school in the mornings because

they were doing night shift and in return they would let me live there and feed me but it involved sleeping on the floor I think another another kind of uh camper bed situation so I was sleeping there what they didn't tell me is they were going to be coming home during their lunch break so they'd head off start their shift at 10 so probably leave about half nine in the evening till six but they'd turn up at two two in the morning come in turn the telly on and because they

had cars so they you know it's only like a five minute drive so they'd be home for about 50 minutes 45 minutes watching tv music on chatting sometimes bring people home with them and that was my sleep gone that was and then it'd leave and go back to work for three o'clock till six so I had three hours a chance to get some sleep for three hours and then I was woken up again early in the morning at like five past six and yeah it wasn't ideal it was and then

the weekends when they weren't working I had to just stay up until they went to bed so I couldn't go to bed when I wanted couldn't sleep when I wanted so it's not ideal and then kind of a backward step in a sense of living or sleeping in a in a you know what's it like a camping bed a fold-up camping bed in a living room I mean I'm not even sure if I might have just been sleeping on the floor on a on a like a blow-up thing I can't

remember either way it wasn't ideal so I moved out of there as soon as possible and then I stayed in a couple of friends places and they had one person had two beds in one room and there was a studio apart of them and I slept in one of those beds so he put me up because I started staying with him rather than go home because at least because when I was sleeping in the living room so the weekends I stay with him because I knew I'd be able to sleep

during the night and so that was kind of perfect for me really at the time and then from there I found a room to live in which was okay so and then I got another room and then I worked in a pub and then I worked and you know so yeah I did different things and I moved you know I moved into another place I moved into my dad's for a little while then I moved out again and I moved into this other place where when I was doing window canvassing

so that was one of the best times of my life when I was 18 I was working four hours a day and I was getting paid full-time money and I was just you know living it was a very relaxed but I was enjoying myself for the first time really as a since I left school and then I moved out of there moved in with a friend again living in the same room as him and it was he was renting a room there was two beds in there so I slept in

one bed he slept in the other one but going back to that other place I think I was in a double bed I think it was a double bed and but I had no television and it was the first time really that I'd had no television for quite a few years and well my whole life I'd always had television to watch when I was a kid even if I didn't have my own so I started listening to music in the evenings you know I'd work I'd be out during the day

I'd be eating out go to cafes and have a cooked dinner and stuff and then I'd work and then I'd go out in the evening and get something to eat out and so I didn't have to cook just breakfast that was it and I then so that was I had this room and it was right at the top of the house but it was comfortable it was a nice house very nice house so I lived there for a while I ended up dating the my landlord's daughter's friend so I ended

up dating her so I got myself a girlfriend from living there so that was okay then so I moved again with a different friend living in the room with him then we moved out of there together we rented a house well it was uh two rooms in a house one was a big room and like a living room that had a bed in as well and any other one was upstairs and it was just a bedroom so I had the bedroom he had the living room but it was a bedroom

as well so um he didn't have to wait up to go to bed or anything you know I never disturbed him or anything but we used to have dinner in the evening and then he'd go to bed when he wanted he didn't wait up for me and I was happy to go upstairs anyway because I've always always been okay living you know sleeping in the room wherever really and then I moved away and I lived in I slept again in the living room but this time it was on a couch

or settee for about I don't know a few weeks until I found a room another room that I rented and this was in London and it was it was an okay small room wasn't tiny and I mean I had one room before that which was so small I'd go in there and the the bed was pretty much near the door there was zero room for anything else but the bed seriously it was it got really hot in there as well and then I moved into this room this little room which

I stayed in for a while and it was okay the bed the bed was fine just the standard single bed and then I moved back in with my dad's for a few months went back to do canvassing and at one point I had two jobs one night shift and one few hours in the evening so you know I had more money than I ever had in my life before so that's quite nice and then I moved out of his place to get myself a studio apartment so and it was nice

it's an ex-holiday place so I had my own bathroom my own kitchen nice living room with a double bed I'm pretty sure I had a double bed in it it's very comfortable and it had a reclined chair and a television it was like everything I needed was in there it was great then I moved out of there and I moved into a place that was just up the road from where I used to live as a kid it was in the same road and that room was quite small and so

hot in the winter the heating was on all the time so I had to open the window to let the heat out and that was just a standard single bed and then I moved out of there and I moved back to London again and I lived in this room and it was a single bed in there just a standard wasn't very comfortable but I got used to it and lived there for about four years and then I moved and I had another stayed in this place that it was sublet so

I was only there for a short time I like I think that was a double bed it was nice very comfortable there I liked that a lot living there but then we had to get out short short notice because it was a sublet and then I end up moving into a friend's house but I got my own bedroom again which is good this time I had a double bed again which is nice it's really good very comfortable so I was pleased with that room there wasn't a tiny room either it

was a nice size room and then we got evicted from there then I lived in Butlins so I ended up sharing a room with someone and the beds were single and the beds in my recollection the beds were not very comfortable not very comfortable at all very squeaky very very very very squeaky and so I lived there for a couple of months and then I moved back to London oh in that in that meantime I also lived in London in Ireland for a little while and I'm pretty sure I had

a single bed but it was cold because it was sort of autumn time but it was cold but it was something lovely about it it was fresh and it was new and it was kind of exciting to be in a different country and yeah I had a lot of good memories from that time some of them and then I yes I moved back to London again but after Butlins I moved back to London and I had nowhere to live and I knocked on my cousin's door and said can I come

back and live here and she said okay so I lived in this box room because I forgot about that I lived there before as well and so I lived there yeah I'm missing out a lot of different beds it's hard when you moved around as much as I have it's hard to keep track of all the different beds so this was a this was a really bad bed it was basically a like a child's bed that I was sleeping in but what what she did my cousin she did bless her

it was nice she actually bought me a normal single bed which was you know comfortable enough it wasn't wasn't great but it was definitely way better because I didn't have springs sticking in my back anymore at one point I was laying on my bed I thought I'd have my nipple pierced seriously I was like oh no what's happened and so yeah that was that was very small though very small room and I lived there for a few years and then then I moved out I was evicted and I moved to

a different place I had a double bed there big old double bed with storage underneath the bed so I put all my books under there and those the weight was too heavy and it collapsed the drawers it's really the the storage is more for like bedding not for actual things I think but the room was basically previously being joined together with another room so it'd be knocked through so there was a big they'd filled the gap here with a door but not proper doors more like grating doors you know so

you could hear each other so it wasn't ideal and luckily I didn't stay there for too long and I moved away from London and I found I lived in a YMCA and it was a studio apartment bedroom kitchen or living room with full bed as well kitchen and bathroom all inclusive and I lived there I moved three times within that building but none of the beds were comfortable they weren't comfortable and then I moved into another place but this time it was an empty room and because I didn't have my

own bed anyway I bought this thing I forget what it's called but they used to be popular and they're very uncomfortable like these wooden things anyway I got rid of it and bought an actual proper bed well first of all bought a mattress to sleep on and then I bought a bed frame to put the mattress on and that was better so it's a single bed but it's a new bed new mattress and the very first bed I'd ever bought for myself and then I moved into the buddhist community and

took my bed with me so I had that bed there and I kept that bed all the way until I moved again in 2007 probably November yeah and I moved and I lived in this place I'm trying to think where did I live yeah it was like a student it was it was like um college or university accommodation but it wasn't really they only rented to university students but it wasn't you know it wasn't owned by the university and I lived in the smallest tiniest little room with a single bed

and there was a tiny desk and you know it's very tiny and when I went when I saw the other rooms there's two rooms and a bathroom in this little extension of the cottage the other room was twice as big and had a double bed and she only rented that out to women men she rented out the tiny little room so she clearly had some issues and so I lived there for three years I think for the duration of my university course and then I moved out there I was evicted

from there so I moved out of there and I moved into it was just a normal room but it was an ensuite so I had everything but a kitchen and it was a big room as well so that was nice had a double bed it was a nice place it was all right and so I lived there for a year moved out the first opportunity because I didn't like living in that house and the toilets kept not working the shower kept leaking and it was just it was a bit of

a weird place to live then I moved out there moved into this tiny little dungeon room in the basement and there was a single bed in there already and the you know a set of tables and drawers and chairs there was no room for any of that stuff so it was a room with a kitchenette but a shared bathroom so I said to my landlord look I want to get my own bed can you take that bed out it was so uncomfortable it was it was really really uncomfortable so I

said can you take the chair and tables away or chair and table and chairs rather away because there's no room there's no room if you're on bed you can actually touch either side of the room you know it's very very small and then I moved out there and I found I moved into here and I brought my bed with me this little single bed and shortly after moving in maybe a month maybe a few weeks more than that I got my own bed a big double bed which was good quality

silent night or something like that and I got that bed and it's probably the best bed I've ever had it's comfortable and it's big and it lets me stretch out and it's it doesn't moan about my weight or anything it's very very very nice bed and I've had it since 2015 and it's still going strong it is in fact the favoritest bed I've ever had yeah it's nice so that's kind of the story of my beds so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye