(10 hours) #19 Games - SLEEPY Boring Objects (Jason Newland) (9th October 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Boring Objects. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and get yourself comfortable sitting in a comfortable chair that supports your body or lying down on a bed or maybe sofa, a flat surface of some kind.

And the main thing really is to get comfortable so that you can feel relaxed. And this podcast is just an opportunity to listen to my boring voice and allow your mind the opportunity to relax and wind down and slow down. And that's it really.

Your body will feel more relaxed and you may drift to sleep. You may fall asleep. So, you know, just do what you need to do to prepare for that.

For example, if you need to be somewhere in an hour or two, then maybe set your alarm. And if you're lying down, there's more chance of falling asleep anyway because your body is almost programmed to associate lying down on your bed with drifting off to sleep because that's what you've been doing your entire life. Now, each one of these I choose an object or a subject to talk about, to discuss.

And I had a suggestion for one of my listeners or viewers on YouTube and they suggested me talking about games. Games, that's quite a wide subject really, isn't it? So I'm going to talk about games and I'm going to drink my cup of tea. I've noticed that I've only just really started drinking tea again lately and I'm going to stop talking about tea because otherwise I'll end up talking about tea.

Leaves my mouth a bit dry. Anything else doesn't like water, coke, anything else generally I drink. I'm not saying it lubricates my mouth because that would be a kind of a weird statement but tea definitely doesn't lubricate anything.

Again, I've not tested it at every scenario but it just is, I don't know, it just feels a bit drying. I'm starting to think when I do my laundry next, I might pour some tea. In fact, if I just change the water so that is put a tea bag in the washing machine, maybe the clothes will come out dry.

I don't know, that's probably one of the most ridiculous things I've ever said and you are here to witness it. Aren't we lucky? Now the games, what games? First of all, what games do you like? What games do you like? Now, I don't like any games, not really, not now. Yeah, not really because I'm an adult.

Most of the games that I played was when I was a child and I had brothers and a family for a while and we used to play games and stuff and it was a bit ruined by them because there was a lot of arguments and you know we didn't really get on that well but there was times at Christmas and stuff when we'd set out Monopoly. On the big table and we'd all sit around drinking wine.

I was about 10 and I found alcohol did improve board games and I think we need to remember they're called board games for a reason.

It's not because they're on flat bits of cardboard, it's because they're generally quite boring unless of course you find them interesting then. But they can be quite relaxing, such as, I suppose, would you class a jigsaw puzzle as a game? I suppose it is, isn't it? Really? So I used to like jigsaw puzzles. I don't anymore but I used to and I remember a couple of years back, a couple of years, I bought a jigsaw puzzle and it was a Marvel movie was the jigsaw picture and I filmed myself doing it.

I think it might have even been a live stream on YouTube and I whispered. I did like an ASMR whisper video and that's my second most popular video on my channel. I didn't finish the jigsaw puzzle and I chucked it away because I knew I was never going to touch it again.

Plus I think I'd lost a few pieces and I got no enjoyment out of it, I don't think really. I might have done, I can't remember. But it doesn't just, I don't know, it doesn't seem a lot of point to them really but for those that loved them, you know, I'm not here to squash people's dreams and fun.

I just didn't, I'm not really into that stuff now. I'm trying to think, games, what kind of games did I like? I used to quite enjoy playing Patience, like the card game or on a computer, you know, as, you know, the computers arrived. I used to quite enjoy that.

And I said, yeah, I'd spend quite a lot of time doing that sometimes or just the odd moment here and there but it's fun. I suppose I might still enjoy that, I just haven't. I'll tell you why I don't now.

It's because I think I used to have Patience on my computer in a job that I had, one of my last jobs. And it kind of spoiled it for me because I only played it when I was skiving, when I was, you know, skiving from work. So everyone around me thought I was working but I wasn't.

I was playing Patience, the card game on the computer screen. Now once I left that job, playing Patience wasn't as exciting or enjoyable, knowing that I can't lose my job. Because, you know, before I could have got caught and lost my job.

Now, sitting at home, it's just, it's lost its excitement. It was almost like a really exciting car chase, but sitting down in an office. You know, so I might still like it, I don't know.

Other games. So when I was a kid, we used to play Monopoly. I'm trying to think what other ones.

That's the only one that I liked. I quite liked Monopoly. I don't think I ever won because I was playing Cheats.

So I don't think I ever won anything. Plus, I'm not sure if I understood the rules. Yes, I think really as far as family playing games, I never played Twister with my grandmother.

I never played Twister. I wanted Twister because the advert was so colourful. All these big coloured spots where you put one leg at one foot and one ear there and your willy there and your nostrils over there.

I thought, wow. I really remember thinking, wow. I'm not just saying wow, as like an example of something that I was thinking.

I literally thought, wow. And I may have even said it out loud. Because it looked like so much fun.

And the children were enjoying it. The parents were enjoying it. And I just thought, you know, I thought if I played that, I would definitely save up as many farts as possible before I started playing.

You know, the amount of fun you could have with your bum in people's faces farting and stuff. That was to me, a dream come true. But we never got it.

Never got Twister. Never. Now my body, um, you could have a version of Twister for me.

But you'd just have to call it sit still. Just one big, big giant coloured dot and just with a chair. So that but that I guess that wouldn't be very interesting as a game.

So other games we had. Generation. Is it generation? Generation.

Not muppetation. Frustration. Does anybody remember frustration? And that was a game I quite liked.

Because you couldn't cheat. The dice were inside a little plastic dome, which you press down in order to shake the dice. So no one could touch the dice.

No one could bully, you know, no one could like, manipulate or lie. And I like that. Apart from when I wanted to cheat, then it wasn't so great.

But generally, I like the fact that it was, it was a game that you kind of had to play properly. I mean, sometimes I used to play on my own. I did.

And because there's no skill involved at all, you could play all of the colours. I think there's yellow, green, red, blue, yellow, green, red, blue. Now I remember those colours.

I don't remember any other colours. I do remember other colours in the world. But in that particular game, I think there was four.

Yellow, green, red, blue. Yellow is guaranteed. Green is guaranteed.

Now the red, I'd say blue is guaranteed. Red, I think it was red. Unless it was orange.

I think it was red. Unless it was pink. And now I'm thinking, was there a black one? Was there a white one? But I don't think there was.

I think it was red. But yeah, sometimes I'd play myself. I played with myself.

And I spent a lot of time in my childhood playing with myself. Especially my teen years. I mean, you could say I spent too much time playing with myself.

But that was because my brothers were older and they didn't want to play with me anymore. Or they'd left home, you know. So once I got to 13, my oldest brother was 17.

So he didn't want to hang around with a kid. And my other brother was 15. So he was nearly ready to leave school.

In fact, he did leave school at 15, I think, as did I. Not when he was 15. I left school when I was 15. So I ended up sitting in my room playing with myself.

And trying to think what kind of games I used to play. Just trying to think back. I don't remember.

I think maybe the, as I said earlier, the patience. Although I used to, didn't always feel that patient. Sometimes I'd get angry.

And showered the cards. I can't remember what other games I played when I was a teenager. Because, you know, I didn't really have many games at that point.

I was more into reading and just, you know, doing my own thing. I was, yeah, I can't remember. I suppose really the games that I would play involved being outside.

I'm not sure. It's strange. I'm not really sure what it was that I used to do at that age.

Just used to go play with my friends. Go out. Look for money on the floor.

Ride around on my bike. I mean, that wasn't really a game, was it? But yeah, so moving on from me playing with myself in my bedroom when I was a teenager, I suppose really I need to go back further into my past. So when I was a bit younger.

And the games that I used to like to play, Buckaroo. That was one of my favorite games. But I found it a bit tiresome having to keep load up all the stuff onto the saddle.

That used to annoy me. Other games. Tiddlywinks sometimes.

Drafts. I quite like playing drafts. Not chess.

I didn't know how to play chess. I learned a little bit when I was older. But drafts was just more fun.

Just it's a bit more simple. Get to the point. And I just, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to devote a day to a game.

Or even an hour. You know, it's like, let's just do this. See how it goes.

If we like it, maybe we'll have another game. But let's not, let's not put, you know, put too much pressure upon ourselves. Let's just enjoy the moment.

But not plan too far ahead. Eh? So that's, that was my motto with games. Games.

It wasn't the motto wasn't quite that long. It was. It's a game.

That was my motto. No one really understood it. And I'll be honest.

I wasn't totally sure myself. It's a game. It's less a motto, more of a statement of reality, I guess.

I'm trying to think what other games when I was little. Kaplunk, that's another one I used to like. And what I did like.

And I went to, I went to visit my uncle. He had an Atari system. And I absolutely loved playing with his Atari system.

Because he had Smurf and he had all these, I think, I don't know, Space Invader kind of games. And I loved them. I really did.

So. To me. Yeah, that's probably one of my most enjoyable things.

As a, as an older person, as a teenager. I mean, I would have loved to have taken that home with me. And and so when I was in my bedroom playing with myself, at least it was, I don't know, a bit more fun, I guess.

You didn't need to play with anyone else. As long as you had your joystick to shake around. And that's all you needed.

So I remember spending years just there with my joystick in my hand. Looking at a screen. And wishing I had an Atari system to play.

Wishing I had some kind of console system. That would have been nice. But never really got into it.

Never really, really appreciated computers or even, I found the more advanced computer games, as they arose, when I was in my 20s, they just weren't as much fun as the Atari games. I like the platform games, you know, where it was just, I don't know, just seemed more fun, less complicated. I don't want to have to read a manual, or even have instructions on how to play a game.

I just want it to be self explanatory. You know, that's it. I can't think of any other games that I was really into.

No, unless you class sports as games. In that case, karate, martial arts was something that I enjoyed. Football is a game, isn't it? I never liked to play football.

I was banned from hockey. That's a game. It's a sport.

But it's a game. So I was banned from that. Chasing people around the field with a stick.

Yeah, I don't know. I can't think of any other games that I used to like to play. I quite like Top Trumps.

Yeah, I quite like that. Because you could get lots of different versions of the same game. Yeah, that's it really.

Can't think of any other games that I was really into. So, thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.