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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Jason's Bedtime Storytime. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now today I'm going to read you a lovely little bedtime story called the 12 Dancing Smelly Princesses.
I'm getting this story from a website called storyberries.com. It's basically about a king who suspects that his 12 daughters go dancing every night and a young prince takes a challenge to discover them. There's a little bit of a warning here. It says this is a vintage fairy tale and may contain violence.
We would encourage parents to read beforehand if your child is sensitive to such themes. So here we go ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls, here's a nice little story for you. You can get ready to, you know, get ready to go to sleep now.
Okay, okay. There was a king who had 12 beautiful daughters. They were very smelly.
They slept in 12 smelly beds all in one big smelly room and when they went to bed the doors were shut and locked up which made the room even smellier. No window, no window, no no window, not even an air vent. Sometimes they'd have a little air conditioning unit during the summer so they could spread the smell around the room evenly so they could all enjoy it.
Anyway, back to the story. Every morning their shoes were found to be quite worn through as if they'd been dancing all night long. Dancing, I tell you, dancing.
Shoes were scuffed and all danced around and danced up and beaten down. They were very worn indeed. But you know what? You know what? Nobody, and I tell you nobody, could find out how it happened or where those smelly princesses had been.
So then this big smelly king made it known to all of the smelly land that if any smelly person could discover the smelly secret and find out where the princesses had danced in the night, he should have the one he liked best for his wife and should be king after his death. But whoever tried and did not succeed after three days and nights would be put to death.
That's a bit harsh.
Anyway, a king's son soon came. He did, he came. He was well, well entertained and in the evening was taken to the chamber next to the one where the smelly princesses lay in their twelve smelly beds.
Then he had to sit and watch where they went to dance. And in order that nothing might pass without his hearing it, the door of his chamber was left open to let the smell out because he also was smelly. Soap didn't exist back then.
Anyway, back to the story. But the king's son soon fell asleep and when he awoke in the morning he found that the princesses had all been dancing again. They'd been out.
They'd been gone and he didn't notice at all because he'd been asleep. Because the souls of their shoes were full of holes. All of their shoes were full of holes.
They were dancing on bits of metal. I thought that sentence was going to be good but I couldn't think of anything. Anyway, back to the story.
The same thing happened the second and the third night. So the king ordered his head to be cut off. After him came several others but they all had the same look and all lost their lives in the same manner.
No shot is stupid here. Now, back to the story. Now it chanced that an old soldier who had been wounded in battle and could fight no longer passed through the country where his king reigned.
And as he was traveling through the wood he met an old lady who asked him where he was going. I hardly know where I'm going or what I had better do said the soldier but I think I should very much like very much like to find out. Oh I want to find out where the princesses dance and in time I might be king.
I might be king. Well said the old dame. There is no very dark hard task.
That's a horrible task. Only take care not to drink any of the wine which one of the princesses will bring to you in the evening. She might bring you some wine.
Don't drink it. No because they bring wine to every man that tries to trick them and to follow them and to keep an eye on them and they end up falling asleep. They end up falling asleep and then they wake up the next day and they get killed by the king.
Worse than any hangover. Then he gave him a cloak and said as soon as you put on this cloak you will become invisible and you will then be able to follow the princesses wherever they go. Well you mean like that movie.
What was it? The one where he dressed up in the invisible cloak and he will follow that lady and Clash of the Titans. You mean that? Well it might be similar but we did it first. Well I don't know.
The movie was 1981 wasn't it? 1980 or something. We did it long before that. 1978 we did it long before that.
Yeah I'm not sure. I think it might have been. I think it I think it might have been a lot the story was a lot longer a lot older than that.
Maybe thousands of years old. Anyway they stopped arguing eventually after having a big fist fight and when the soldier heard that all this good counsel and he realized he was going to be invisible he determined to try his luck. So he went to the king and he said that he was willing to undertake the task.
He was all well received as the others had been and the king ordered fine royal robes to be given to him. When the evening came he was led to the outer chamber. Just as he was going to lie down though just he was going to lie down the eldest of the princesses brought him a cup of wine but the soldier threw it all away secretly taking care not to drink a drop.
Then he laid himself down on the bed and in a little while began to snore very loud as if he was asleep. When the 12 princesses heard this that they heard they laughed heartily. Heartily and the eldest said this fellow too might have done a wiser thing than lose his life in this way.
What a silly billy. Then they rose up and opened their drawers and boxes and took out all of their fine fine clothes and dressed themselves at the glass, the mirror, and skipped about as if they were eager to begin dancing. But the youngest said I don't know how it is.
While you while you are so happy I feel very uneasy. I'm sure some mishance will befall us. Yes Simpleton said the eldest said the eldest you are always afraid.
Have you forgotten how many king's sons have already watched in vain. And as for the soldier even if we had not given him even if we had not given him sleeping draught he would have slept soundly enough anyway because the bed is so damn comfortable. When when they were all ready they went and looked at the soldier but he snored on and on and on snoring it was like listening to a farm animal making love to a squirrel and he did not stir nothing that those princesses did made no mind to his snoring at all.
He kept on sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping so they thought they were safe quite safe and the eldest went to her own bed and clapped her hands and the bed sank into the floor and a trap door flew open. Wow this is getting exciting boys and girls. Anyway back to the story the soldier saw them going down through the trap door one after another.
It wasn't big enough for them all go down at the same time. The eldest leading away and thinking he had no time to lose he jumped up put on the cloak which the old woman had given him the one that was invisible oh who knows how he managed to find it and uh he followed them all the way down those stairs in the floor but in the middle of the stairs he trod on the gown of the youngest smelly princess and she cried out her sister she said hey all is not right someone took hold of my gown you silly creature said the
eldest it is nothing but a nail in the wall oh then down they all went and at the bottom they found themselves in a most delightful grove of trees and the leaves were all silver and glittered and sparkled beautifully the soldier wished to take away some token of the place it's like a souvenir you know so he broke off a little branch and then then came a big loud noise from the tree the tree must have been alive y'all then the youngest daughter said again i'm sure that all is not
right did not you hear that noise that never happened before but the eldest said it is only our princesses who are shouting for joy at our our approach then they came to another grove of trees where all the leaves were of gold and afterwards to a third where the leaves were all glittering diamonds and the soldier broke a branch from each and every time there was a loud noise which made the youngest sister tremble with fear the eldest still said it was only the princes who are crying for joy at
the eventual entrance entering the princesses or them the the princesses entering the room if you know mm-hmm so they went on their merry little way and eventually they came to a great lake and at the side of the lake there were lay there lay 12 little boats with 12 handsome princes in them who seemed to be waiting there for the princesses just to be clear it's not not each boat didn't have 12 handsome princes because that would be too many princes that would be a gangbang y'all no this was uh
like one in each boat you know 12 boats 12 princes now back to the story one of the princesses went into each boat and the soldier stepped into the same boat with the youngest as they were rowing over the lake the prince who was in the boat with the youngest princess and the soldier said i do not know who why it is but um though i though i am rowing with all my might we do not go we we do not go as fast as usual and i am quite tired
the boat seems mature it seems very very oh um very heavy indeed very heavy indeed today today very heavy it is only the heat of the weather said the princess i feel it very warm too yeah i feel very warm too it's hot on the other side of the lake stood a fine illuminated castle for which came the merry music of horns and trumpets there they all landed and went into the castle and each prince danced with his princess and the soldier who was all the time invisible danced with them
too and when any of the princesses had a cup of wine set by her he drank it all up as well so that when she put the cup of the of the the wine to her mouth it was empty not her mouth but the cup and her mouth because there was nothing in the cup to fill her mouth with at this too the youngest sister was terribly frightened but the eldest always silenced her they danced on till three o'clock in the morning and then all of their shoes were worn out
so that they were obliged to leave the princesses the prince's driver rode them back again over the lake but this time the soldier placed himself in the boat with the eldest princess princess and on the opposite shore they took leave of each other the princesses promising to come again the next night but when they came to the stairs the soldier ran on before the princesses and laid himself down on the bed and there's the twelve sisters slowly came up very much tired very tired indeed they heard him a snoring in
his bed so they said now all he's quite safe then they undressed themselves put away their fine clothes had a pillow fight while they were naked then they got dressed and they went to bed pulled off their shoes as well in the morning the soldier said nothing about what had happened but determined to see more of his strange this strange adventure that he witnessed the night before so he wanted to see that so he he went again the second and third night and everything happened just as before the princesses danced
each time till their shoes were worn to pieces and then returned home about 3 a.m in the morning however on the third night the soldier carried away one of the golden cups as a token of where he had been as soon as the time came when he was to declare the secret he was taken before the king with the three branches and the golden cup and the twelve princesses stood listening behind the door to hear what he would say and when the king asked him why do my 12 dancers dance
at night where where do they dance why but more importantly where do they dance at night which was the original sentence but i i accidentally said why instead of where hopefully i corrected it and no one noticed the prince answered there were 12 princes his bedtime with 12 princesses in a castle underground then he told the king all that had happened and showed him the three branches and the the golden cup which he had brought with him the smelly little feast that he was then the king called for the princesses
and asked them whether what the soldier said was true and when they when they saw what they had discovered and that it was of no use to deny what had happened they confessed it all and the king asked the soldier which of them he would choose for his wife and he answered i am not very i'm not very young so i will have the eldest besides she's she's uh you know she's uh she's got what it takes yeah would you would you mean she's got what it takes young prince well
um i fancy her i've always liked women with really large feet always been my thing i would gladly gladly date a seagull if it was legal and if i could catch one hmm king the king said you really are weird hmm aren't you aren't you man you're very very weird very weird indeed but uh you you can marry my my daughter yes go ahead i did promise her besides i've got 11 others so it's fine and they were married that very day and the soldier was chosen to be the king's
hire or hair or heir however you pronounce that word so i guess the moral of this story is follow your dreams i suppose i don't know anyway that's the end of the story thank you for listening now go to sleep
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.