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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. That's Vinnie by the way, drinking. My name, if you can, I mean I don't know if you can hear him, can you hear him? He was happy being on the sofa until I started talking and he jumped off. So, he has to be involved.
Yeah, my name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And what? Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
If I haven't already said it, I might have already said it five times because I don't even notice when I say it because it's so automatic. Uh, it's Monday. Excuse me.
Wow. It's Monday the 13th of January 2025. My website, my groovy website is, it's, it's my podcast.
So if you, and also just worth remembering, if you visit my website regularly. Yes, lovely. When you revisit it, it's worth refreshing the page.
I have to do that on my laptop. Otherwise, it just shows me from the last time I went on there. And yeah, so I had Q&A Friday when I, in fact, I've done two different recordings since then.
I did, what did I do? Relax and sleep hypnosis daily, number 218 on Saturday and yesterday, 219. One is called place a piece. And the next one is called body scan.
Not a lot of body scans. I also something new, but it's expensive to do so. I don't know the next time I'm going to do it is I have dubbed both of those recordings and created a Spanish or Espanol, a Spanish version of each of those new recordings.
And for some reason, people are listening to them. So I'm guessing there's a few Spanish people out there that like listening to my stuff. If you are Spanish, you know, whether it's a first language or just, you know, you're very fluent, maybe have a listen, let me know what you think, because I'm never really sure.
I mean, my YouTube channel, the Spanish ones are getting more traction as well. I think it's not many listeners, but it's they're getting more listeners than the than the ones that are in English. And, yeah, so just maybe let me know what you think.
I'd like to do well, actually, I'm actually Oh, yeah, that's the point. I've actually got a Spanish podcast now. Which is, it's basically Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply.
That's my main podcast. Then there's a Let Me Bore You Sleep. The one that gets the most listens is the Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply.
Because that's where all my stuff goes on. I've got the equivalent in Spanish. So Espanol, Hypnosis, Para, Dormir, Profundamente.
And so that's it's got its own image, it's got its own podcast. And there are two episodes. Number 218 and 219.
Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily. So yeah, that's what I'm doing. That's what the JJ is up to.
Recently, my YouTube channel is at Jason Newland. Also, I need to say hello to my new Facebook group member. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
Judith, I know the name, I'm just trying to get onto the page. So Judith, welcome. Welcome to Jason Newland's Boring Group.
So welcome. So it's the newest member, Judith. And I've now got 206 members.
I know. It is. I've broken all records.
I've broken all I have actually broken all records. The group's been running for six years. I've broken the records for the slowest amount of time it takes to get 206 members.
No one's taken this long. No, no other group on Facebook's ever taken six years to get less than probably less than 1000 members. So I'm pretty proud of that.
I'm very proud. In fact, I may look in the mirror later and just tell myself just how proud I am. What else is going on? That's it.
So yeah, I've the it's weird doing making a recording because basically I have to what I do is I just convert the recording into Spanish like it reads out but it reads out in my voice at least it should do let me just have a play it let's see if you think I mean it might not sound like me let's have a look view it is it's kind of my voice so I don't know and I'm just experimenting really just have a look see what is uh what's occurring you know
oh sorry I just had to check something just testing things out you know I've I'm trying to get a little bit of feedback but no one's given me I've had a couple of messages on YouTube where people are telling me that they like it but we'll see it's just a case of it's always nice to try something different but at the same time I can't convert the let me boy to sleeps into different languages because it simply would cost an absolute fortune really it would cost probably for an average hour
recording probably cost for about 30 pound perhaps about 30 pound to to 30 pound 30 pound to make a Spanish version of this recording if it's an hour long so that is out of my reach you know in a huge way out of my reach otherwise I mean it might get cheaper in time as the technology improves it might become really cheap it might get to the point where it's just unlimited for 20 quid a month as many hours of dubbing as you want and that's if that's the case then
it will be you know that'd be cool but for now I'm just going to try and do some short recordings because the one I did I did two one was four minutes 41 seconds the other one was seven minutes 34 seconds so they're both very short recordings for the relax and sleep hypnosis deeply no relax and sleep hypnosis daily rather so you know they're just it's an experiment really but to convert or to to do the same thing with a Let Me Bore You To Sleep I would I'd do it
if it was financially possible because then maybe I could reach I say maybe I don't think definitely I could potentially definitely potentially reach a bigger audience although what if the translation isn't like exactly how I I mean I've had enough problems in the past with people not always or taking what I say the wrong way and that's when I speak in my own language so I wonder what it would be like if if what I say is translated to another language whether I will be how I will be perceived that's
what I mean how will I be perceived so yeah it's it's it's what I'm doing I'm playing around with it just to see how it turns up and so I'll just continue doing this not this not till Wednesday I'll probably I don't know I might on Wednesday I might not Wednesday what's the at the end of the month maybe I might play around with it and do a few more hypnosis recordings but all your relaxation stuff but for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep I'll just continue doing it the
way I'm doing it and you know I've got this I have a dream I have I had a really weird dream either it was last night or early this morning I think it was early this morning I don't know the specific timing but probably quite early this morning and I don't know if it was stimulated by something that somebody was shouting in the garden if it was then that would be an unusual dream it's very weird it's very very strange very strange dream I mean really strange I mean stranger than
strange how could something be stranger than strange it was a bit unusual bit unusual yeah it was very weird weird dream I do have weird dreams I don't mind I quite like weird dreams I mean quite often dreams are more interested in my day than my daily life but then most things would be because my daily life is not really particularly it's not exciting it's not dramatic but I don't want it to be dramatic I've had enough drama I don't want normal drama thank you very much no more drama thank
you I've done done with the drama I had too much of it I had nearly 10 years of it continuous it felt like so yeah I don't not doing that anymore well more than 10 years actually it's been 10 years because last year as well so no more drama just chill out make my recordings make my make my little recordings make my silly little recordings not only is does he have to make as much noise as possible he also has to sit right near me when he does it so he
wants to sit next to me while he I don't know what he's um chewing on oh it's just some water I'm thinking some water for me carry on we I had to go out today and I put it off I really put it off so I was my medication I'm on a few different bits of medication I've got the medication for my bipolar and then I've got so I'm on where am I on okay so I'm on fluoxetine which is Prozac isn't it I'm also on so I have two tablets
of that all day two tablets of those then I have Depakote which is volproic acid and it's so what's it used for what's it used for freeze with the turns what go away I accept these terms what was after volproic acid indications and doses so all it okay right indicate unless there's a contracortion of hepat...hepatic blimey all right shouldn't take it while breastfeeding I wish you told me before mind you I don't see how that would affect it really I mean I'm the one taking the tablets not her so right
okay so let's I'll read what it is it's given me all this information I don't need to know I want to know what it's for Depakote divalproic sodium is a medication that affects chemicals in the body that may be involved what effects going on that may it's an anticonvulsant right initially it was used as an anticonvulsant I think it might still be but for um to treat various types of seizure disorders prevent migraine headaches and also to manage a manic phase of bipolar disorder works in the brain to relax certain
nerves that are linked to seizures and migraines depakote tablets and capsules used to treat okay so it's originally it was I actually looked into the history years ago it was used for epilepsy that was what it was used for those were the days when that started everything was kind of under one category seizures epilepsy but of course there's lots of different types and so depakote which is volproic acid isn't it I think the I realized that it caused or that one of the benefits a lot of times medication it might
be for targeted at a specific disorder and then what they're looking for is does it help that disorder but also you know what are the side effects well they realized one of the side effects was something that wasn't negative which was it calmed seemed to calm down because with seizures it's a over activation isn't it sometimes with both sides of the brain so it calmed down the brain which is something that also is required with bipolar so okay I'll explain it better because why why is used with bipolar okay there's
lots of different things you can do but helping to control episodes of mania valproate semi valproate valproate semi-sodium is prescribed as a mood stabilizer so it's a mood stabilizer basically that's what I was trying to say in bipolar disorder it's a mixture of two similar ingredients volproic acid and sodium valproate it will have been given to you to help keep your mood within normal limits by helping to control the episodes of mania so I kind of got them I suppose the prozac or the fluoxetine is to help control the periods
of depression so there are other medications for bipolar I think what it is is because when I was diagnosed with bipolar I was already on fluoxetine prozac for depression and instead of weaning me off of those because they couldn't just stop me taking them all together and I think the doctor said something like and I'm making I'm partly making this up hmm that some of the other medication for bipolar doesn't go together with fluoxetine or prozac so the way they did it is by having using valproate valproate valproate valproate semi-sodium
acid sodium valproate so valproic acid I can't even say these words depakote I used to call it depakote I don't know why my friend used to laugh at me he said why do you call it depakote I don't know depakote it sounds posh you know if I've got to be on medication for the rest of my life I might as well give it a nice name say it say it be flowery when I say the word depakote so what do you take you're on prozac no I'm fluoxetine fluoxetine do you
mean prozac prozac I love my prozac um so I'm on that stuff but I do sometimes miss the medication sometimes I don't I miss it like I don't write it letters I don't mean it in that way um I miss I don't take it like last night now last night I did the night before I didn't it just one of the sometimes I forget sometimes I just don't take it there's no no particular reason um in the past I never I never took it when I was drinking ever but I
haven't I don't drink alcohol anymore I haven't had it apart from when I saw my dad at Christmas but since before that it was 2000 22 was the last time in the summer that I'd had a drink like probably well September time no August September kind of time 2022 so but I never used to mix when I was drinking even if it was only like a couple of cans I would not take my medication but sometimes you know thing is if I don't take it I'm more energetic I've got more
energy less sleepy you know just so it's kind of nice not to take it sometimes but I know it's not necessarily a wise thing to do and so I'm not offering advice on this one this is just some things that I do um but I'm pretty good the other medication I've got cocodamol for my arthritis in my back but I have reduced the amount I take and I also have acid reflux because I got something hernia thing and so I take one tablet of those a day and that helps with
the it just stops you from getting like really bad heartburn and trapped wind I basically I'm like a baby it needs burping sometimes and you know there's certain things I can do to help it like not drinking fizzy drinks which I can't anymore anyway um fried food you're like a I love a good fry up I love a bad fry up I love any kind of fry up but like a fried breakfast or omelet chips and beans and two slices of bread and a can of coke that was kind of
one of my favorite things ever but I can't eat that stuff anymore I'll eat an omelet but I can't have like a fried breakfast I can't I mean I had a fried breakfast it was two years ago I went and visited my dad and I stayed in a hotel so that's three years ago now blimey I'm saying two years I'm still in 2024 three years ago and it was about March time maybe February and I visited my dad and it was the first time I'd seen him since 2019 August so
I stayed in a hotel I was I was only there for a few days and I treated myself to a cooked breakfast every day a cooked fully cooked breakfast and I was drinking lager in the evening and I was having burgers in the evening and stuff so I was really I was eating a lot of but I put a lot of real garbage into my body really which was fine for the first few days well first couple of days on the third day I woke up and I honestly didn't know
what was going on I didn't know if I needed to call an ambulance or if it was just trapped wind I went luckily there's a shop opposite I went got some Gaviscon and drunk some of that and sat on a park bench well it was a park it was a bench it wasn't in a park though but if I say park bench you know what I mean but then you might think well I thought you said you were in a hotel opposite the supermarket well now you're in a park make
your mind up no but it was see benches are the same aren't they like generally if you've got a bench in a park it's the same as the bench that was outside this supermarket I think there's two there's also a bench opposite the chemist or the pharmacy that I went to today as well and me and my friend downstairs used to sit on there you go and get four cans of strong lager and it opened one I might go and get some cokes and I'd open a coke or whatever and
we just sit there and this is like years and years and years ago I didn't do that for quite a while to be honest but we did it we did it for a long time and then we kind of stopped doing it we hardly ever went up to the to the shops anymore but there was a period when I was going up there fairly regularly we'd walk up and I would take now I probably wouldn't take I wouldn't I might sometimes I'd take Andre with me other times I wouldn't because
it was a long walk for him you know but it depends sometimes I'll just carry him with me carry him you know stick him in my in my jacket and carry him there or it depends and we'd have we'd go there on our own sometimes just me and him and then when he got Logie he's got his dog we'd go up with the dog got with Logie and you know that was kind of that was our getting out of the house really in a way wasn't really about exercise I mean
it's you know it's a fair I think it's a fair walk it's a there and back's a good hour really but it was short to walk for him because he was two foot taller than me I mean sometimes I'd be walking in front of him and he'd step over me and I didn't even notice none of that happened but yeah so I was on this bench I could have just said bench couldn't I didn't have to say park bench so I was on this bench opposite the hotel so I'm on
the bench to the left of me is the hotel entrance and in front of me was the supermarket ironically the place I used to clean on three different occasions when I was younger I don't mean I cleaned it three times but I mean I cleaned it I had a job there as a cleaner when I was 7 16 you know 16 then I had another job there as a cleaner when I was 18 and then I went back again when I was 19 at the end about the end of the
year 1990 wait a minute 20 I was 20 so let's go with the first time I was there was when I was in the chip shop and I just had to get some money I needed some money basically because I wasn't earning nothing but it was hard because I was suddenly I was getting up really early in the morning and I was doing two hours 6 30 to 8 30 and then straight to work at 9 and my boss didn't like the fact that I was doing another job and it's
weird because I this is a strange memory I remember getting home it was literally a five minute walk from the place I go home go upstairs make myself cornflakes probably with half a ton of sugar on them and a can of coke this was my breakfast a can of coke for my breakfast with cornflakes covered in sugar and a dash of milk and it's really weird because back in them days I could pretty much shovel anything into my mouth and it didn't have any kind of adverse effect I'm not saying
I felt brilliant I had a bit of a sugar rush mildly but it kind of felt like he gave me some energy you know because I've been up since five o'clock no six o'clock that's it so it was half six till half eight so I got wake up at six and then I had my breakfast watch tv am whatever and then I go to work and then I started I should have kept doing it to be fair I probably would have been better off financially if I'd have done two part-time
cleaning jobs then I did then I would have done working full-time doing what I was doing I would have had more money probably that's probably not true I don't know it might be I used to know someone when I worked in a co-op this person who was actually the brother of someone I knew and he always used to chat to me and even when I left the co-op I didn't work there still talked to me for years afterwards until I moved away and he said I'd sort of said well I
didn't really know what he did because he was a little bit not a hermit but he was very seclusive very reclusive rather he didn't really mix with people because he had some problems in the past and gone to prison and stuff because just different things so I knew about this because of I knew his sister but he was always really friendly to me and he always stopped to say hello and have a chat but he wasn't he wasn't someone to really do that apparently he liked to keep himself to himself
and just you know get on with life and he said to me one day he said what you need to do is do what I do I said what's that he said you need to learn to play the trumpet I said what he said no kidding just kidding he said uh become a cleaner I said what do you mean he said and what he did what he did is what he did he cleaned offices on the docks but he got paid by the actual companies he didn't work for an agency
he just got paid directly from the companies from the the offices or wherever that he worked for and he earned good money I don't know why and I don't know why I didn't do it why didn't I kind of because he was saying he I mean the docks were so big he wasn't even bothered about other people doing it because he knew that I couldn't be competition for him because he offered it was such a huge one of the biggest docks in the country or one of the biggest docks in
Europe even so there was enough room for hundreds of us there was already hundreds and hundreds if not thousands or hundreds anyway of cleaners going onto the docks every day and cleaning but they were doing it through agencies and they were getting paid not a lot of money unless perhaps they were the supervisor and there was a high turnover as well it's always easy to get a job as a cleaner because people wouldn't stick to it I mean possibly because I guess I mean for my own kind of situation sometimes
it's not like it wasn't a great paying job wasn't like you know huge money or anything like minimum wage although there wasn't a minimum wage back then but the hours are not for everyone's taste you know getting up at five in the morning or six in the morning or whatever and also it's not enough hours so it was like if you want to do full-time you kind of have to have a bunch of part-time jobs spread around and that's not always necessarily going to be suitable for people so early early
morning or in the evening is yeah not everybody wants to be working those times not everyone wants to work at seven in the evening six seven eight and those that are willing to do it either are happy with those hours or just doing it temporarily they're just putting up with the the anti-social aspect of it just to get by which is what I did it for I had lots of different cleaning jobs over the years this is the boring job yeah this is boring objects isn't it this is turning into
sleepy boring objects so I might have already talked about cleaning jobs in the past maybe I'll do a separate a separate recording just for that talking about cleaning jobs I should write that down but oh I do have a pen let me write it down on a piece of paper oh sleepy sleepy s-l-e boring objects um cleaning jobs okay I mean I don't know I might have already done a recording about that in the past it's possible it's hard to yeah it is possible because I've done a few but I
thought what would be good is with the sleepy boring objects maybe just do them separate from the Let Me Bore You To Sleep just have it as a separate recording but still do a so um it's possible it is possible unlikely but it's possible I might actually do a sleepy boring objects today later on on cleaning jobs probably not but I might definitely won't but maybe you never know you never know yeah a lot of cleaning jobs I don't want to spoil it now because if I start talking about the
cleaning jobs and then I will you know what I've got this memory it's a couple of minutes one particular memory of cleaning jobs this is just I had an evening cleaning job at the end of it was in December 1990 so this was an evening one I also had a morning one so I had two cleaning jobs which was just enough to pay my rent and buy my food that was it bare minimum I think my rent was probably 30 quid a week and my food probably 15 10 10 15
pound a week so it's like very bare bare minimum and I was intending to move to London in the January which I did how on earth I afforded to move to London I don't know how I don't I really I mean I kind of fell on my feet a little bit so I moved in I paid well I visited Stratford because I decided I was just going to go back and live there because I've lived in London previously for a while I found a place to stay either it was from
a it might have been in a window of a news agents you know one of those cards it might have been in the local newspaper I don't know I can't remember but I went in I kind of phoned up and I think I phoned up my the landlord that I'd been with before but he didn't have any places and then I phoned up this place this lady said come come on and have a look so I went into looked at the room and it was it was awful it's weird I
don't know why I always seem to be not attracted because that's not the right word but I lived in a lot of really quite grotty places I've lived in some okay places as well but I've lived in some rooms that are really not nice and this is one of those that was really really not very nice at all but how I used the way I used to do things back then is I wouldn't shop around I'd just take the first thing that I could find and that was the first room
I could find I was only in London for the day and I just took it I put down a deposit and I said okay I'll see you and this was like on a probably on a Monday Tuesday time and I said okay I'll see you on Saturday or no I think it was Sunday and I came back got a lift with my stuff and there wasn't a lot of stuff a few black bags of bits and bobs clothes and that's about it really and I moved in gave the rest gave
my months rent ahead or weeks rent ahead something like that and yeah perhaps I shouldn't took the first place because the place I had before that was much nicer like in Stratford it was a much better place as far as it goes I mean you know I wasn't because this place I was limited she didn't like me having anyone in she didn't all that stuff I kind of liked being there because it was quiet and also because there was no one else living there apart from her and I had her
all to myself no the room next to me it was taken twice and the first person moved out shortly after moving in the second person well I moved out after he moved in because he was awful so I didn't get on with him so well and Bernard he he they yeah it's it was weird we didn't we didn't we didn't click I think it's the right word I mean he was probably in his 50s then so it'd be like 100 now yeah very strange times but the I I had all
or it worked out in my head I was going to go there become a comedian and go get my old job back which was on an agency I went to get that job back there was no jobs and I didn't know what to do now the good thing about it is where I moved into and this is probably why I stayed there because I felt kind of obligated kind of to the lady the landlady because her best friend happened to be the HR manager of a big bakery which was just
like wow couldn't have even I didn't see that coming and she got me a job she basically said all because I was I say to my landlady I don't know what I'm going to do um it's all gone to it's all gone wrong really haven't got got no money coming in now I don't know what I'm going to do after this month I might just have to go back might have to move back and I don't think my my landlady wanted to lose that 40 pound a week which back in
1990 it was a fair bit of money to be honest a fair bit to be paying out every week for a little room now it's probably wouldn't get that room for less than about 150 a week wow so yeah I wonder if that house probably is still there but it would have been needing a huge amount of renovation to make it habitable it wasn't habitable not even then it needed yeah it needed some real work and so what I did I didn't know what to do I told my landlady I
think I'm probably gonna have to move away move back because it hasn't worked out and I didn't have a job I thought I had a job coming to come back to but I didn't and and I went out for a walk or whatever I came back I went out for a walk just sat in there sat on a park bench in the uh the graveyard again you could say why why are you calling it a park bench the graveyard's not a park no but I used to like the cemetery because
I lived right behind the cemetery there was an old one then there's a new one so it's one that was all cordoned off that probably been there for hundreds of years if not longer and the other one which was more up to date even though the one the one that was up to date was hundreds of years people have been and you know it's quite amazing really people from 1793 like wow huge huge area so what I used to do I used to like I walked around and look at the
headstones and I'm not saying it was comforting but it just to get a perspective try to get more of a perspective on life is being around lots of people that would love to be in my position in fact thousands of people would probably love to be in my position even though my position at the time felt a bit rubbish I'm sure everyone in that graveyard would happily swap places with me so that's the kind of way I was thinking and and it was peaceful as well very peaceful so I get
home and I'm walking in and about to go upstairs to you know do something and I hear a so-called Jason Jason hi hi this is Mangle or whatever her name was and she said um I'd like you to I think yeah that's it she said I'd like you to introduce you to my friend I said oh hello she said I've not introduced you yet I said okay and she said she's in the bathroom she'll be out in a minute so she came out and it was her friend who you know
the HR manager I think she was called um Heidi that's the name I'm going to give her Heidi yeah and she was also Spanish no Italian Italian not Spanish they were both Italian and that's why they were I guess that's why they're friends because they should speak in Italian together and I she said like she had there was a job going in the bakery canteen that I could I'd have to go for a job interview I thought oh really well I've got to jump through hoops I didn't say that to
her because I thought it might go down wrong I said oh thank you I did a few handstands gave her a big cuddle promised never to do that again and then I said great great when is it and she said well um Wednesday I think this was on a Monday she said Wednesday if you go and see him Wednesday his name's Adam or Andy I think it was Andy actually um and he'll be interviewing you and he'll just be serving serving the canteen serving people food who work in the bakery
and I thought well I can do that I did that in a chip shop this is going to be kind of similar in a way serving people food and taking money so I said all right I went along had the interview I did my I've got I always had this little routine when I did a job interview when I had a job interview I just like well first of all I pretend to be nice I pretend to be interesting sort of feign interest in the job pretend I wanted it and
sometimes I'd even have a wash first before going I remember my my granddad saying to me you know make sure you always wash behind your ears and I did and I went for job interviews and I wasn't getting them and I went to my granddad I don't know what's going on and he said can I just be blunt with you so he said yeah so you know I said always clean behind your ears said yeah he said um you gotta clean other places too I said oh okay it's because you
smell it's just so smelly that's that's why he said you either have to have a bath or shower before going or try and get the interview outside so they can't smell you or try and get all the windows open or ideally take them a big like a tuna fish sandwich as a gift or maybe just put it in your pocket say this is for my dinner and just and like they'll think oh it's just a tuna fish gone off or something instead of just your normal smell and I said granddad
this is a little bit rude he said I don't care it's all made up anyway I said well fair enough and as I went to the job interview I did the whole you know oh that's interesting I get what I get to cook the sausages and then serve the sausages and we we we fry the eggs on the egg thing okay and we've got baked beans yeah and they kept they kept hot and the heated big metal heated things oh and we also served dinners as well so what you teach
me to make a lasagna oh so you know so I'm showing my interest um so I had to make sure I didn't go overboard because I had one interview where I was just too enthusiastic and I spent the first 20 minutes asking him about his shoes where'd you get shoes from where were they made how long have you worn shoes for do you remember the first pair of shoes you ever had I had shoes once I wish I hadn't worn flippers today I was really into skydiving you might think well
why would I wear flippers for skydiving well it's because I couldn't remember what it's called when you go underwater so I just said skydiving just try and cover myself but it didn't really work did it no do you like wearing glasses if you always wearing glasses you weren't born with glasses though were you did your mum wear glasses I never met her do you wish I hadn't mentioned your mum now oh do you think she might want glasses though because you wear glasses how about your dad does he wear glasses
what kind of shoes has he got does he like eating marshmallows you know sometimes things go a little bit weird and uh oh rubbing the eyes and then you know I did my normal thing at the end he said any more questions I said yeah when do I start that's been my my closer and it's worked a few times not all the times there was one time when it didn't work um this this was a car this was a job interview for when I was um it was a long time
everything was a long time ago now and I'd had experience working in a residential home uh as a once as a cook that lasted for about two weeks until I was sacked all over the porridge really with the porridge that was a problem and plus pretending I could cook and then there was I did care work with an agency as well as a like a carer but that was that was when all the counseling work dried up and everything so I applied for a job in a residential home and things
were going really good things were going really good and they were saying well why do you why do you want to work in a residential home because it's not good money I said it's not I jumped out the window I didn't I said I chucked the chair against the wall would you mean it's not good money you've wasted my time I said uh well by the way if you want to be taken seriously don't dress as Mickey Mouse that was a bit of advice another bit of advice my granddad could
have told me but he didn't uh I I just said he said why do you want to work in a residential home and I said well to be honest I my closest relative that I've ever had in my life has been my nan is someone that stayed with me she was always she was old I mean she was she wasn't born old but she was older than I was born I mean what she she must have been yeah she was like 50 or late 40s when I was born so it's
not old but you know to me as a baby of 40 48 year old is old isn't it to a baby so she you know as I got older she was always I mean she was retired by the time I'd pretty much when I was when I saw her I saw her when I was a baby but I didn't remember that but then I saw when I was like six seven and she'd retired back then I think women could retire at 50 I think 55 and men used to retire at
60 in this country so women that it was like the law I think generally females would retire five years before men and even though they lived 10 years longer than men but hey let's not argue about that so the you know so I explained I thought well you know what I don't want to go into too much personal detail I don't want to embarrass myself and I don't want to say the wrong thing but I say look here's the honest truth my closest relative was my nan she was elderly and
you know and I've always liked being around old people I just find them very attentive and kind and gentle most of the ones I've met and they seem to appreciate me appreciate the time spent talking to them and yeah that's kind of why and I've done I have worked I mean even when I had the the job in a residential home as a cook I still got on with the with the people that worked there apart from you know we didn't talk about porridge and she said what do you mean
porridge I said oh well it's okay um it's like oats with water or milk you kind of bubble it up and it's it's if you mix something with it it's quite tasty she said I know what porridge is what what why are you mentioning porridge I said I always just it was a it was a sore subject let's try not to mention it she said well I didn't want to hear about it before but now now I do I'll tell you another time I'll tell you over lunch she said that's
that's inappropriate we're not having lunch this this is a job interview I said okay I'll tell you later she said there isn't going to be a I just explained that there was a problems with with the with the older porridge and it was never right it was either too too sweet or too salty or too thick or too thin or too drippy or too hot or too cold it was never right she said a bit like the three bears and Goldilocks I said you know what at the time I didn't
even realize that do you think the old people were just having a joke she said I think so they might have been she said you know it's a little what like when you become a you work for a trader on a building site I said I said what do you mean she said well they send you off to go and get a left-handed screwdriver things like that I said yeah she said well there's no such thing as a left-handed screwdriver is there I said why not she said okay let's get
back to the interview and I've got other people to see I said oh really okay um oh yeah uh so yes the reason I wanted to do this is because I like being around old people I respect them I find that they're very very open and there's wisdom there you don't get to to live to be 90 without learning something about life even if it's how not to live you learn you have to learn a lot and gained a lot of a lot of insight into the world into life into
being alive and it's I just naturally have this this feeling of caring towards elderly people and because of my Nan it was just so strong and she said okay it's nice I said thanks he said um all right we kind of got the last two questions now so the first question is what and these two questions might be with this probably is the hardest one out of all of them so what is the thing that you most dislike about working in a residential home okay and I thought to myself you
know what I'll just be honest just be honest well you know what I think if you're honest honest can only can only be good you know so I said well I'll be honest because I thought you know I'll tell her I'll be honest before I'll be honest before I am honest and I said probably getting just being too good at the job I'm just I just care too much oh that sounds terrible I'm joking but I do it's like you know what the problem is is I get attached and I
know that there's going to be situations when um the my attachment towards the residents of the residential elderly home for the other elderly or the old people's home as they used to be called when I was younger they old folks home they were called I think when my dad was young they and now he lives in one no it doesn't he's old enough to though he's 79 in two months and yeah so it's kind of the change and it would just be weird to deal with that having trying not to
get too attached to people that might not be living there for a huge amount of time and that will be I think this would be really difficult but at the same time I think it's so important to allow myself to be emotionally connected with people because I feel that's what they need they don't they don't need to be pushed away emotionally they need that contact and I think I can give that to them but at the same time you know I can't ever know looking forward that it's it's going to
be difficult at times to deal with when they leave when they leave the home and it's weird I could kind of see a tear in her eye tear in her eye this this interviewee interviewer rather and she said well just let you know this this has gone very well and the porridge thing was a bit weird but other than that it was and yeah other than that it was quite nice I did think it was a bit strange he kept asking me about my shoes but other than that it's fine
you know it's been a good interview and I was I'm a bit impressed I'm going to be honest I'm quite impressed with how you've articulated yourself Mr Newland because when you originally came in here I was just by the way you were dressed I didn't think you were taking the job seriously I said I told you when I got here I just got back from clown school didn't have time to change oh dear she said I understand that now but you can I'm sure you can see from my perspective that
if you're coming for a job interview dressed as a clown it might not look very professional I said yeah I said well I'm sorry about that also I'm sorry for squirting you from the flower squirting you with water she said yeah that was a bit weird as well but it's fine it was why did you do it more than once I said I don't know I just it I get into kind of that mode you know it's do you remember Pulp Fiction the movie and they're talking about hamburgers and McDonald's
in France and how it's called a you know it's done in a different metrics whatever you know it's it's quite different that the way it is in America you know John Travolta and what's his name I should remember his name considering he's been in out of every three movies in the last 30 years he's been at least one of out of every three movies he's the most prolific actor in the history of Hollywood but anyway I do know his name I can't it's not coming to mind and she said she's
not a you she said yeah so anyway what you're talking about you're talking about Pulp Fiction I said yeah what's that got to do with your clown costume and squirting me with water five times throughout the interview and I said well it was just me once I put the costume on I'd like to think of it as a uniform but you know if you want to call it a costume and be rude to my art I like to think of it as I get into character get into character and I
become I become the clown what do you call yourself Jason no I mean when you're wearing a cat costume or the uniform yeah okay when you're wearing a uniform Jason why there are no Jason clowns I couldn't find any they always have these silly names I thought why not have a really sensual strong archetype name like Jason something that if you think of the name Jason you think of you know it's very like Hercules very very macho and almost you know it's kind of got that connotation to it Jason it's
hard to say the name Jason without going weak at the knees she said yeah I'm not really sure where you're going with that I said okay anyway um well thanks thanks for what you're saying so what were you saying she said I can't remember oh yeah the job interview like we're having a job interview the job interview has gone really well Mr Newland and call me Jason okay Mr Jason the job has gone very well the job interview has gone very well and I'll tell you now that it looks like
you I think you're probably the best candidate for the role for this position so really it's just left for one more question and it's and then we'll have to have a bit of form fill in and get references and stuff but it's just just one more question left and I said what's that she said well you've told me what you like about the job you told me um what the things that you the worst things about working in a residential home the things that you dislike most about working in a
residential home I said okay and we tell you what you like best about working in a residential home I said yep bath time and never heard never heard I don't know I'm I must have struggled to get through to me because I thought how can the job go so well the job interview go so well then suddenly I mean perhaps doing handstands when I said bath time maybe that's what it was is that I don't know it might I don't know if it was the clown costume or the tuna sandwich
I really don't know what it was I almost feel there's you know you get that little niggle little niggle in your brain like oh is it something I said I don't know but today I I decided I woke up quite early thanks to the little one he woke me up very early today and it's just because he wanted to get up and he wanted to play and I think he was hungry yeah he did it yeah he wanted to have some food it was too early but I thought okay I'll
just do it and then because I was up I thought I'd stay up I could have done without being woken up by him but hey it happens and then he had his food I decided I might as well have my breakfast as well so by the time they came in with my breakfast he was back in bed fast asleep and that's where he stayed till about nine o'clock so so he went back to bed for another five hours I also went back to bed after a couple of hours as well
so I was in bed by seven till seven no five six I think I went to bed back about about six o'clock this morning and slept till about eight 8 30 and we got up and because I had to oh yeah my tablets I took the last of the um acid reflux tablets whatever it is I take what is that I take acid reflux tablets omeprazole that's what I take omeprazole and I take one a day one a day what is this you can buy them online you can't buy them
online can you really $9.99 $20 how many is it how many expected delivery by treatment how does it work please answer a few medical questions what is your height would you why do you buy online I can't go it's inconvenient how do you scroll heart rate wow it doesn't say how many how many is in a packet I didn't know I could buy stuff like this online could buy medication online prescriptiondoctor.com or is it leprop lenzaprazole now I'm thinking it's the same ones that I get oh they're more expensive blimey
yes I'm 18 plus this is another one the independent pharmacy so we can buy this stuff without a prescription continue to assessment so after like percent well they do an assessment maximum per order one suitable for age 18 why does it say how many is in a packet though that's what I want to know description tables of content description never sit oh 28 for oral use I know that so I found that out the hard way and I wonder what other drugs they sell prescription doctor let's have a look so
did it did it did it did it did it did it okay so let's have a look ah so there's I think they're limited there's quite a limitation std what's that stand for flexus gel 1149 std chlamydia oh okay um general health oh I didn't realize you could buy stuff like this online excessive sweating is that a thing oh I didn't know oh man I'm a proper sweater not like generally I mean I don't mean like okay if I work out so I when I went when I was doing boxing
I wore a t-shirt and after probably training this is when I was training I wore a t-shirt I wore pants as well and my t-shirt would be soaking wet like completely drenched within about 10-20 minutes so that's good it's a nice it's a good thing to do but I mean I remember years ago in the 90s I used to wear silk shirts in the summer and standing in a phone box we used to have things called phone boxes where it's like a box standing out of almost like a a big
okay similar to you kind of like that now that is based on an emergency police box that used to be at the sides of the motorways back in the 40s and 50s or whatever and the these phone boxes they used to be red and they'd have glass in them but they'd be metal very heavy things and you go in and there'd be a door closed and there'd be a phone box and you know there'd be like a phone on lever and you'd pick it up and you'd put money in you
could put like one two pences five ten you know you could put loads of different money in and there'd be this big black box at the bottom where all the money collected and I remember I had a friend that I used to talk to on the phone and we talked for ages and I would absolutely sweat really profusely seriously like really really sweat because it was like being in a sauna but people say that to know it's like you know being in a sauna but if you can see the other
person it's not like being in a sauna is it because a sauna is smoky not not smoky smoky but foggy being in a sauna it's not just about being hot is it it's a different kind of heat it's a different altogether blimey and different smell as well plus they have the um the fart cover-ups don't they do you know the stuff that they put on on top of the the fire or the water whatever they put those those the things that smell to cover up the farts so that's I quite
like that smell and why am I talking about saunas oh yeah it's the phone boxes I used to sweat that's what I'm saying I used to sweat a lot and I don't know if it was a silk though I think silk and heat it's not a good not a good uh combination so what I did today I thought you know what I've left I've left it to the last minute to get my new my new prescription I ordered it over a week ago and didn't have any tablets for tomorrow because
I did the last took the last one this morning and I thought oh I don't want to go out but hey so what I did is I took the little one with me left at nine o'clock pretty much on the dot maybe a minute after two minutes after maybe walked directly to the yeah I went to the bus stop it was weird because there was a couple of dog walkers that were looking at me they looked at me very strangely today and I couldn't figure it out until I kind of
walked past them and I realized they'd never seen me walk fast before because I was walking at a speed because I needed to be somewhere normally everything's really slow and I was on a mission because I knew I had well with 10 10 past nine was the first bus and I got there one minute or nine minutes past and I got talking to some bloke that was waiting and he yeah as soon as I started talking to him I said well let's just check what time is and it was 10
past and then the bus came and we had a little chat on the bus Vinnie don't like the buses but by the looks of the bus driver neither of the bus drivers like the buses either both grumpy the bus driver going there and the bus driver coming back two different bus drivers neither of them spoke to me very I don't know what's going on there there was like a real I expect that in London in a sense of the last time I went to London bus driver didn't even acknowledge me
and I spoke to him I literally asked him directions not to the seats I knew where the seats were this I'll keep saying we're upstairs is how I get up to this tops to the top deck please Mr. bus driver no I just asked him you know like bus drivers used to be good for directions you know you get on a bus 30 years ago 20 years ago maybe maybe 10 years ago I don't know and you'd be going somewhere never been there before and all you need to know is
how to get where you're going to see so I'm trying to get to the I don't know I mean years ago I'd be trying to get to pubs because that's where the clubs would be comedy clubs or come comedy night so I'll be getting it off of a our train station in Hertfordshire getting on a bus and just asking do you go near the owl and and rabbit I can't think of a name of a pub but yeah and the hollow pussy or the rapid rabbit the vibrating rabbit I don't
whatever there's various different different names weird weird names for pubs and they'd be friendly like yeah if you go up there don't worry I'll give you I'll give you a give you a buzz when we're getting close to where you're going you can get off I'll stop the bus I don't know what happened to those bus drivers it's almost like they're just they're not allowed to work anymore on buses I mean yeah the old well there was an old fellow who was waiting to get on a bus before me and
we were chatting he got on he was really friendly to the bus driver bus driver didn't even acknowledge him like just you know it's weird and they always look down always look down at Finny like he's I mean like I've got a crocodile on a lead or something like come on he's a tiny little dog not only that he's a tiny little dog he's a scared little dog he doesn't like buses I have to actually pick him up and hug him and you know what he doesn't like being picked up
generally but he's happy for me to pick him up when we're on a bus any other time he wouldn't let me it's crazy isn't it even I know he's on the lead but even if he wasn't on the lead he would still let me pick him up because he does not like being on a bus I don't know if it's the moving or I don't know what it was so grumpy bus driver going there just he would see I'm friendly I'm one of these friendly people that always makes an effort
for bus drivers or for people that work behind the counter of a shop if I have to go in one um you know I make a little bit of an effort to say hello and I don't ask them for private information you know I don't don't ask them anything personal but just just like just friendly that's it and yeah it was weird because I've got two bus drivers one coming back that was equally as miserable so I don't know I mean who knows that I'm sure there's reasons for it but
but both the buses were really quiet there's hardly anyone on the buses and I found that a bit weird especially that time of the day I thought it'd be quite busy 10 past nine that used to be the busiest bus years ago like literally going through the estate 10 past nine the first the first bus after nine o'clock because that's when all the pensioners and people that had bus passes weren't allowed to use their bus pass till after nine so they'd be waiting and they'd get on the bus and it'd
be a queue big queue of people especially on a Monday morning there was just two of us and then another person got on and that was it three people on the bus the whole way to three oh I think someone got on outside yes there's four of us before I actually got off I mean usually there'd be a lot more than that I think it was yeah it was just a one-decker so I'm talking to this bloke and he's just we're just chatting he's talking about dogs and stuff and then
I got off and I wasn't sure whether or not to you know give him a hug or whatever but it's hard to know isn't it and but the bus driver just didn't want any anything to do with it he just like just ignored me it's like a really bad first date so I get off with Vinnie I walk him off because once once the bus stops he's happy to be walking I turn right thinking that's the right way to go but it wasn't because the bus had stopped much further up
for some reason so I walked back and crossed the road Vinnie was trying to pull me the whole time so he went from being all like shaky and cuddling me to trying to get away from me gone back to being naughty again naughty little school boy aren't you yes you are I know you're listening he's not asleep he's listening to every word I say he did say to me daddy when am I going to go to school I'm a big boy now I had to look at him sitting down I
said to Vinnie got something to tell you you're a dog you're a bloody dog first of all you can't go to school because you're a dog secondly you can't talk okay um I didn't say that that would have been cruel so we crossed the road and then we're going towards the this is weird I always notice things ahead of me I'm all I'm not quite aware of my surroundings and there's this lady or female what's a human I I couldn't really tell who it was but as I got closer I
could see it looked like a female not that that's really relevant but she's hovering on the bridge but there's a big slope that goes up it goes across and there's another slope going down you know it leads you back down she's hovering a third of the way up the slope and that always makes me a little bit like what are you doing I was a little bit concerned and I didn't know she was going to try and I was worried it sounds bad that I was I was a bit concerned
she might be a Jehovah's Witness and she was going to like start trying to preach to me and stuff and I just I didn't have time I needed to get back to get my bus and she said um I was wondering if you could help me and she did stop and talk to me I thought oh and she said um it was really cute what she said and she said basically can I walk across the bridge with her because she's scared of heights and I laughed at her to start with
of course and then I said are you serious yeah I laughed again and and then I didn't laugh I said okay of course of course fine and she basically put a hand on my shoulder as we crossed the crossed the um bridge part and I told her just to focus on Vinnie because it was a front walking and she did and that did help and still got the dent in my shoulder like she had a strong grip definitely wouldn't want to date her and I said pull it off um I
I think what was weird though is I might have been able to help her if there'd been more time she was in a hurry as well she wanted to get somewhere and I just happened to be the person that walked up I don't think anyone would have no no one would have said no to her unless there were some people that she was a bit nervous about talking to but I think I'm quite an approachable person and especially with Vinnie he's such a cute little bundle of joy bundle of joy
and so then I do walk to I felt a little bit bad pretending to push her off but it just you know I thought I might lighten things up a bit but I didn't I didn't I didn't do that I did at one point go can you feel the bridge swaying and then I remembered that I'm supposed to be a decent person and uh yeah we got back got to the end of the bridge see if I was going to be good it's like got halfway through and then just ran
back hello hi and she went and she said to me how am I going to get back I said I don't care no I didn't say I said but what do you mean he said well I don't know how I'm going to get back over the bridge do you know is there any other way of getting to the train station without going over the bridge so I said yeah we do come out of the hotel cross the road get the bus that will take you to the train station and it
will stop opposite the train station the other side of the bridge so you won't have to cross the bridge this time so basically where you come from she said oh that's a fantastic I said don't don't talk like that she said why not I said because that's not how you were talking a minute ago why are you talking different now she said I was talking like this all the time now you've changed it again don't think feel it's like the finger pointing to the moon don't concentrate on the finger or
you miss all that heavenly glory and she said okay see ya so I go down go into the petrol no I go to the what's it the chemist or the what's it pharmacy go in with Vinnie Vinnie's happy to go in there weren't you you were happy to go in there got my prescription came out went and got a sausage roll and uh Cornish pasty and stuff a cake don't tell anyone and then I walked back across the bridge I'm literally in looking at the timetable and see that it's probably
due and the bus is turning around the corner so I put my hand out and I think the bus driver might be a bit annoyed because it didn't to be fair that they've situated the bus is a hut and there's this and it's got the menu not the menu the the timetable in there and it's right around the corner it's on a blind spot so the bus driver can't see the hut until it turns around the corner so if it turns around too fast it's hard for it to stop so
they get someone unless you walk further up to where the actual bus stop itself is further up from where the hut is it's a weird one but what are you supposed to do when it's raining so some of the bus drivers they don't you know they don't perhaps get enough notice when they need to stop the bus so I kind of understand that could be a bit frustrating but I put my hand out and the bus stops and again he didn't seem very happy to see me which is weird I
mean I don't I didn't say that in a way of like I could see that he wasn't happy to see me because I wasn't looking there but just he didn't seem particularly pleased and then I hugged Vinnie coming back we got off he went to the toilet we walked back he wanted to like pop her around and eat some grass and I said why are you eating grass when you've got a sausage roll in there and he thought oh that's true so he come home as soon as I'm getting the
front door I take his lead off and he's inside my carrier bag trying to get to the sausage rolls very cheeky and then I get back you know basically make myself a cup of tea have a sausage roll and a cake I don't eat cakes very often so I thought it's a nice little treat so I've got the medication had a cake had a sausage roll and Vinnie's he had some of the sausage roll and some of the cake as well he always had some of my food he's kind of
like a food taster but the other way around I eat 80% of it and then he tastes the other 20% and then I then then I made this recording so it's been a busy Monday morning and it's now 12 41 so I've got no idea how long I've been talking probably over an hour over an hour I wonder if I've had any messages or anyone call me at all I wonder I way way way wonder no nothing nothing nothing I've got his pedigree chum dog food is coming today so that's
good oh another thing did I tell you that I have I sent off I received the DNA test kit again the testing kit sent it off on Thursday I think it was and it's yeah so I should be getting it hopefully the results hopefully by the end of this week because it went missing last time and then I didn't have the right activation code or whatever but I went through it very thoroughly this time and when I get that what my what I want to do and it might just they
might just send it digitally it might just be an email I hope it's not I want to see it I want to see it in print and it's not because I dislike trees I just I just like just want to be able to have it you know and my plan is I'll make a podcast I'll actually open it whilst I make the podcast and read through it and just you know talk about it yeah man so I'm gonna go thank you for listening and remember to be kind to yourself be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to be happy lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.