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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Today is sleepy boring objects time or Monday's sleepy boring objects. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for joining me. My website is jasonnewland.com. It's basically my podcast is on my website.
So if you want to get listen to late recordings, just go to jasonnewland.com. Also, I have a playlist. I've just been updating it today actually. Where you can go all the playlists of all the different podcasts, still adding some stuff is broken down into 50 recordings per playlist.
So just makes it a little bit easier and you can once you get them on there you can listen you can stream you can download to your phone or to your tablet or your laptop wherever, listen to it later. And so everything's on there. YouTube channels at Jason Newland.
My Facebook group is Jason Newlands boring group links on the website as well. You can leave me a review and leave me a review if you'd like to. Why is there nothing in the reviews? That's weird.
I've only literally got one review on my website. So I think if you add a new review, you can add a review is actually a right review link on the website as well. There's also PayPal link, there's YouTube link, etc, things like that.
And there's also a link for the background music information. Just so you can see that information. So the background music is for those recordings that have background music, deep relaxation from Kevin MacLeod at incompetech.com. The details are on there with the license under the creative commons.
So it's free to use. Also, I do six versions of each recording. The normal, just normal length recording without music, five and 10 hours without music, and then the normal length recording with background music, and five and 10 hours with background music.
So it gives you lots to choose from. Just makes it a little bit, I don't know, just, I think it's nice to have choice. So what should I talk about? That's the question.
What's the latest first? What's my latest? Well, the latest is got dentist appointment tomorrow. Yeah. And so I'm looking forward to that, of course.
My bus pass is being accepted. So that's good. Eventually.
So I had to get another letter. You know, I actually applied for my bus pass 12th of September, because it ran out at the end of September. So yeah, let's try to do it a bit ahead.
Normally takes about a week to come through. The letter took nearly three months. And again, I've got a letter by, I did get a letter, it took about seven, eight weeks, which was the wrong letter.
So I had to ask them for another one. And I finally got it. Was it Friday? Yeah, Friday just gone.
It's now Monday. So yeah, got it Friday. And I just sent it through today, and they've accepted it.
So should have my bus pass within about a week or so. Blimey, that was it. That's a kerfuffle.
Three months. Over three months to get to get just to get a letter for my bus pass. Blimey, blimey, blimey, blimey, blimey.
And so that's it. Other news on the horizon. There's the USIC Tyson fight coming up on Saturday.
So I'm looking forward to that. Not loving the lights coming on and off the short days. Just the days just, I mean, literally, it's only 14 minutes past four.
And I mean, it's not pitch black outside, but it's dark. It's now getting dark, you know, like, probably another 20 minutes and it'll be completely dark out there. It's too early.
It's too early. But mind you, we've only got another week or so and it'll be the shortest day of the year and then it'll start to get lighter again. And the other thing is I'm working on the Christmas tree outside.
So I've been adding bits or some more lights today. I'm just getting cheap little bits and bobs. So, so far, I've added baubles.
But unfortunately, they're blue, different kinds of shades of blue. But it's not very bright. And then I added some white tinsel.
I think they've got reindeers on them. And then today, I added some lights, some lights around them, but I can only I can't reach very high. It's a very, very high tree.
But and this one works from a solar panel. I'm hoping that it's going to be working. But I don't know because I turned it on and there was no lights come on.
So I don't know if it has to charge or what I might not even set it up correctly. And then tomorrow, I want to try and get just some really cheap little bits and bobs, hopefully some more colourful baubles, maybe some more tinsel, and some snow spray, like that's not going to harm the tree, you know, because it's a real tree and it's outside, but some kind of spray that doesn't affect the tree negatively.
If there is such a thing, if there isn't, then I won't do it.
And I do have a thing coming, which is like a plaque, like a wooden plaque thing. It's not very big, I don't think but it's got the words Luke on it, or the name Luke, which is why I'm decorating the tree to start with. And yeah, so really between now because now is 16th, 17, 18, 19, 20.
Between now and Christmas, I'm just going to add little bits as I can. And I'd like to also decorate the hedge as well. Maybe even put some bits in the front door.
I don't know, I'm not sure. But I'm not decorating my flat. Because really, it's for my friend.
I always wanted to do something because I couldn't do it last year. It was too soon. Because you know, he left 24th of November, which is literally a month before Christmas, and I just didn't, I couldn't.
I did think about it like, oh, it'd be good to do something. Because it was his tree, he planted that tree out the front. But last year wasn't the right time.
And it doesn't look tidy. It's the messiest Christmas tree on the planet. But it's fine.
Because it's my version. Because he'd laugh. It'd make him laugh.
How messy it is and how disjointed and chaotic the tree is. But he'd laugh at it. So that's cool.
Anyway, so I'm going to do I kind of would like to do maybe Christmasy Christmasy edition of the let me not let me board your sleigh. Well, although it is that but the sleepy boring objects. So a Christmassy version.
Now I don't know if I've done any for any if I've talked about Christmas before, but I'm going to talk about Christmas now. So I'm just gonna talk about Christmases from the past. So now get yourself nice and relaxed.
I'm trying to think my very first Christmas that I remember because no doubtly I had Christmases. You know, I don't remember because I was a baby and whatever. But the first Christmas that I remember would be in the children's home.
And they had a Christmas tree. And they were nuns that run it. So I guess they would be celebrating Christmas.
They had a Christmas tree. I remember that. That's all I remember.
I genuinely don't remember anything else other than there was a Christmas tree. And then I think, again, I'm not sure. I kind of vaguely remember that the next Christmas that I can remember.
I don't remember Christmas really until we were living in the house that I lived in from the age of nine till about 15. So those Christmases seven, eight. But I can't remember those Christmases really.
But I do. But I don't remember specific Christmases necessarily after that age either. So between nine and 15.
It's a little bit of a blur. Because most all the Christmases are kind of similar, but in a good way. Because it was, we had good Christmases.
It was lovely. Very, very happy household on Christmas Day. And just trying to think most, some of my memories of Christmas, getting my bike.
So I got a racer for Christmas. The weird thing about it is I was actually dreaming of getting a racer. I wanted one so bad because I had a paper round.
And it just wasn't, you know, I was walking around in the rain and getting, you know, in the bad weather. And I just thought if I had a racer, I could get it done so much quicker. So I must have been probably 12, maybe 13.
It might have been 13, maybe 12, maybe 82 Christmas that I got my racer. And I remember I used to go into, because the shop I used to deliver delivery, the newsagents that I used to deliver newspapers for was next door to a bike shop. So I used to like gaze lovingly into the windows of the bikes.
And on this one occasion, I actually went in because it was raining outside. So I thought I'll go in and pretend to look at the bikes just to keep stuff from getting wet. It's one of those occasions where everyone turned up at the same time to collect their newspapers.
It's an exciting evening paper round. I feel so nostalgic for it. It's weird.
I know there was a time I had a morning paper round and an evening paper round. I wish I still did. It was such a, it was a good job having a newspaper round.
It was a good job. That was probably my favourite job ever. A little bit wet sometimes, a little bit cold sometimes.
Anyway, there was that, it's one of those occasions where all the kids turned up at the same time. So the shop was full of kids waiting to get their papers. And I was standing outside.
So I thought now I'll go into the bike shop, pretend to be a paying customer. And I see this bike near the front. So they used to fix bikes as well as sell them.
And it had a label on and I looked at the label and it was my name and my address with a with a bought sign, purchase sign or sold sign, whatever it was. They all mean the same thing, don't they? And I went home, well I did the paper round first. Then I went home.
And I thought, I wonder if that was for me. I wonder if that bike was for me for Christmas. Because this was probably only like a week or two before Christmas itself.
And I thought, that might be for me. And it's I mean, it's obvious it was for me, because there was no one else with my name. Well, the chance is someone else was no one else in mind with my name in my house.
I was the only one. I was the only Juicy JJ in my particular house. And there might I don't think there's anyone with my actual name within the area either.
But there might be didn't know everybody. There was definitely no one else in my house that I've met that had the same name as me. And what's the chances of there being somebody with exactly the same name living in exactly the same address? It's unlikely, isn't it? That'd be a different person.
However, I remember laying in bed thinking, I wonder if it's for me. And there was this sense of disbelief that maybe, you know, maybe, maybe it wasn't mine. And that's strange, even though it clearly had my name and my address on there.
And at that point, I could read pretty much. I just still had that sense of disbelief over whether or not it was true. Weird.
This is kind of strange, because I wanted it so much. I don't know if I might have thought that perhaps I'd seen what I wanted to see. But it wasn't really there.
Or, I don't know. I didn't I get I don't know. I'm not sure how much I trusted my own mind back then, to be honest.
And I mean, that was a period when I used to think I was a werewolf. So and I could control the weather. So you know, I wasn't always 100% convinced that what I saw was necessarily real.
I was, maybe I just had an imagination. And even leading up to Christmas Day, like Christmas morning, until I saw it underneath the Christmas tree. And it was wrapped up.
It's very hard to wrap a bike up without letting everyone know what it is. But it was the best present. The best present I ever had was that that it was a racer.
And I was so happy to have it. And I had this blue. And it had lights.
I think I've got that there used to be a thing. What was it called? Dynamo lights, where you would you basically when you pedaled the lights would come on. But I think they wouldn't stay on when you stop pedaling.
So when you stopped in traffic lights, the car in front of you might not see you or the car behind you might not see you. So they probably weren't a great idea. But that's what that was the thing back then.
And I just was so happy to get my bike. I just couldn't wait to get out there, meet up with my friend and crash it. You know, just to christen it.
And we actually did that we crashed into each other. That's very weird. How? I mean, literally, we was on a really big bit of what big bit of land, no one else around and we were just riding towards each other.
And we weren't jousting, which sounds weird, but we weren't jousting. We weren't kind of we weren't playing chicken like heading directly towards each other. And not moving and letting the other person swerve.
We weren't doing that. We technically technically we were just riding up and down. And that was it.
And he was going one way I was going the other way then we turn around. We had we hit on collision. It wasn't it wasn't I didn't enjoy it.
I really didn't. But I enjoyed having that bike. Oh, apart from when it came to hills.
I didn't like hills. When I'd be riding that bike on a hill. I couldn't do it.
Even when I was I was super fit back then. Hey, Vinnie, calm yourself down. We don't want any of that silliness.
Do we? No, we don't. No, we don't. Why are you being like that? You get so growly at me sometimes.
I don't know why. Because you do love your daddy, don't you? Slightly. Yeah, I try to think whatever.
I've got these little memories of Christmas. There's one where I was sitting in a chair, reading one of my books because I used to get books for Christmas and birthdays. So I was definitely a bit of a bookworm back then.
And at the time, I was getting books on astronomy. I pretended I was into astronomy once. And from then on, everyone just decided that that's what they were going to get me anything space related.
You know, like, I don't like astronomy, but I was I think I was more interested in space ships and UFOs. And I don't care what the government want to do. They could be.
We're going to rename it now. We're going to give it a different name. No, everyone's going to call it UFOs till the end of time.
That's what we know it as. Start giving it USA or UBA or ABU or something. It's like something phenomena, unidentified airborne phenomena, something like that.
UAP. It's like, what's wrong with UFO? Unidentified flying object, which is what it is. What's wrong with that? There's always a reason why people, why the governments do stuff like that.
I don't I'm not quite sure why, but they know the reason I don't. Of course, there might be no reason at all. I wonder what the latest is.
Is anybody that listens to this? Anybody been seeing drones or weird things in the sky? Because I started looking and I'm wondering. I saw something the other day and I called my neighbor to come out. I was so I was so bit of a freaked out and it's like pointing.
She said, it's the moon. It's the moon, Jason. Seek help.
But I was just like, I keep seeing things that are flashing in the sky. And I just assume it's a plane. But they don't all flash at the same have the same kind of flashes or the same colors.
And some are much higher than others. And I just don't know what I'm. There's one over there now.
And to me, it looks like a plane. It might not be. I don't know.
I am on a kind of flight path that I think leading to London or something. So, yeah, I think this is a place where planes go over, not directly over. It's where the Air Force go directly over.
We had a parade. Was it parade? It was. Was it double D day or DD, EE day, D day? Because you have different ones, don't you? VE day, D day and the King's birthday, different things like that, where the there's like a an air display from the Royal Air Force.
And they come across here heading towards London from whatever air base is. I don't know where the air base is, and they're really low flying, not just just not just planes, but helicopters as well. You know, there's huge double double helicopter things.
And I mean, the size of houses and they absolutely massive things. And the planes. They look like they're almost just above the trees.
And I'm sure they're not when they are above the trees. Otherwise, that would be on the news, I guess. But they look like they're only just like a couple of inches.
But they're just so big. That's why it looks so close. I think.
But I just have this memory of sitting in a chair, reading an astronomy book, just feeling relaxed, not having one, one sense of understanding of what I was reading. It's it just seemed like it was good stuff to put in my head. But I don't know how much of it I was actually comprehending.
I'll be honest, I don't. It's all about wormholes and black holes and all things like that. And I'm like, Oh, this is good.
I didn't know. Really didn't know. It's like I had some nice pictures.
I love the smell. I still do love the smell of books. There's a different smell for books that have images as well.
There's a different kind of inky smell. So I'm trying to think of some other Oh, we used to, I think on Christmas, sometimes when the table was cleared for lunch, we would maybe play Monopoly or Cluedo. There's some irony in that one, but we used to play Monopoly.
And I just, for me, Monopoly is a little bit like a relationship. There's a great, you know, it's sort of, there's a lot of enthusiasm at the start. And it just seems to drag a little bit, seems to go on a bit.
Like, when is this going to end? This game is lasting forever. It's been half an hour. Yeah, but it's still a long time.
I'm only three. You're not three, you're 13. You know what I mean? No, always arguing.
Me and my brothers always arguing about nothing, really. I just, everyone cheated. I don't think one person didn't cheat.
Apart from me. Although I might have done. Yeah, I might have done.
I can't remember. I don't think I did. But I might just lied to myself for so many years that I believe it.
I think I did. I didn't, I don't think I cheated. But it was a bit pointless.
The whole thing was just the idea really of dice. I don't want why some people call it die. It's dice.
Well, I don't know where maybe dice comes from the word die. But anyway, dice. It just there's no skill is there really, in something that you use dice for? I mean, you can say, well, there's skill in what decision you make.
There's skill in what property you buy. There's because there's gambling involved in that. And there's a strategic planning ahead.
And okay, fair enough. But for me, it just, I don't know. It was fun to start with.
But once the alcohol start to wear off, it just lost its interest for me. You're only five. I know.
All the Bond movies on tape. So come like 1984. All the old Bond, Bond, James Bond movies we had on videotape.
He'd record them or he'd bought them or whatever. So for example, Dr. No. It was on videotape.
It was in the cupboard or in the drawer underneath the TV. But if Dr. No was on TV on Christmas Day, or any other time of the year, to be fair, he'd watch it. Why watch something if it's on video? Watch it on video another time.
Why watch it? There's other stuff to watch. Nope. Those were the days when we were the remote control.
The kids were the remote control. So we didn't really, you couldn't like, because now, if he falls asleep, I'm talking like a few years ago, not now, but you just turn, if you're in a room with someone that's fallen asleep, you turn the channel over, don't you, when they're asleep. And then, especially if they've been drinking, they might not notice.
So, oh, where's Dr. No? It's finished. It's finished. Now it's Nanny McPhee.
But it was only on for an hour. I said, yeah, no, they showed the abridged version. The best of.
They got rid of all the misogynistic parts. Ooh. So yeah, I try to think of other things that I did at Christmas.
I think Christmas time as a paper round person, I used to get tips leading up to Christmas. So that was cool. And used to help to put the Christmas decorations up.
So we'd have a tree and we'd have, because we had two rooms. It was like two rooms knocked into one, which was the living room. So there was the, it was basically a dining room and living room, like front room, sitting room, whatever you want to call it, where we used to sit, watch TV and stuff.
But there was also, there was also the living room, dining area that also had a piano in there. Like one of those ones that go against the wall. It wasn't like a big, but it would have taken, wouldn't have even been enough room in there for one of those big grand pianos.
But it was one that went against the wall and there was doors. You could leave out that door as well, outside doors. You could leave through there.
So there's two different doors that you could use. You could, I think only, yeah, you could use one door to get into the living room, the other door to get into the dining room. But they, it's basically the same room because it got knocked through.
My dad knocked it through in, I don't know, 1980, probably. And then further up there was, there was a little toilet on the right. And then there was a bathroom, not a bathroom, another little dining room.
Then there was a kitchen. See, when we moved in, there was three toilets and a bathroom. There was upstairs toilet next to the bathroom that also had a toilet in.
Then there was downstairs toilet and there was an outside toilet. So there's actually four toilets in the building. Bearing in mind there was, how many of them, four, there was six of us living there.
So it was handy to have those toilets. The outside toilet wasn't really used very often. And, well, that was probably originally there.
That was probably the original toilet, you know. And then the outside toilet got, that area got converted into a little bit of, so we could eat. It was for the, it got extended.
So the toilet got taken out and it was extended into a little dining area. So like a table and we could sit around and eat there. So it meant there was three different places that we could eat.
We could eat there. We could eat in the dining room, which was next to the kitchen. And then there was another dining room, which was next to the living room.
So all kind of, I mean, the one in the dining room in the living room or next to the living room in the double room, whatever, that was really just for special occasions. Not even on Sundays necessarily, sometimes, but generally special occasions like Easter, Christmas, maybe birthdays, things like that. And the rest of the time we, I think we generally just eat in the living, in the other dining room.
We had a little TV in there as well. So we'd watch some light, light TV. So my dad would probably get some videos.
So we'd watch Death Wish 2 or something while we were eating our dinner. So that was, that was good. And what else? But just trying to think for Christmas.
Oh, I do what I do remember. It's crazy, isn't it? I could have great grandkids by now. No, could I? So if I'd have had a kid at 18, so when they were 18, what would I be? 32? No, wait a minute.
18, 18. Wow, it's not even 40, is it? So it's 40 take away 4. So it's 36 plus 9 divided by 3. So I'd be like 27. No, 18 plus 18.
What are you doing? What are you doing? 36 plus another 18. So 36, 46, 56 take away 2, 54. So I could literally, not only could I have a kid, not only 18 years old, I could have, that kid could have had a kid who'd now be 18 years old.
And that kid could also have a kid, if they had a kid at 16, 17 or whatever. So I could be a great, great grandfather. Now, think all those presents.
That's what I'm trying to say. All those presents. So if I'd have had like 4 kids, then each of them, one of those had 4 kids, and then each one of those had 4 kids.
I know it's not generally going to be the way it is, but that's a lot of presents. How cool would that be? I'm just thinking of birthdays and Christmases. I mean, the downside is you've got to buy them presents, I suppose.
But imagine, oh, imagine just knowing that I'm never going to wake up on Christmas morning and have loads of presents to open. This is probably never going to happen again. And I kind of like it too, just to experience it again, how it used to be.
And I realise, you know, I was a kid back then, and I'm in control of what I did with my life. I could have gotten married a couple of times over the years, and I could have done all that stuff, but I wasn't able to. And I just, oh, can you imagine how cool that would be? And I know some people say, yeah, it's not about receiving, it's about giving.
No, it's not. Not Christmas. It's about receiving.
It's always been about receiving. It's about the presents you get. Not what you give.
Oh no, but I like to watch my kids open their presents. No, I want to watch my presents being opened by me. I want to look at my presents.
I want to watch them open their presents. I know what's in their presents. I've bought them.
I want to see their faces when I open a present. I've seen their faces before. I saw them last year and the year before that.
It's the same face, same expression as last year. Just now he's got a beard. I don't know, that was a weird... I imagine my son would be just very hairy by the time he got to 12.
I don't know why. It's all about me. Give me the presents, baby.
But don't you want to watch how I put... No. I don't think I've ever watched anyone open their presents before, ever. Unless it's, like, for a birthday.
But if it's at the same time, if I'm opening my presents at the same time as everyone else's, I'm zoomed in to what I'm doing. The problem is, sort of, in the past when I've gone to my dad's, I'll be the one with the least amount of presents. Even though I've bought everyone else a present, I'll be the one with the least amount of presents.
And I know it sounds like I'm being a sad old moany moan, moany moan-a-moan, moany moan, moan-me-me-me. But it just gets a little bit, oh, I'd like to get lots of presents. Because I'm a child, I guess.
I'm a child. I want lots of presents. That's all I want.
How is this a boring recording about boring objects, if all you're doing is talking about what you want? I don't know. I'm trying to think what other memories I have. I remember, yeah, I remember my mum, my step-mum telling me, you really should watch your brothers unwrap their presents.
I said, why? She said, so you can see how much happiness they're getting from opening them. I said, firstly, I don't want them to be happy. Secondly, I don't care, and I'm only interested in my own presents.
Apparently that's not the right thing, it's not the Christmas spirit, I was told. I don't want them to be happy. I didn't get on with my brothers, to be fair, not really.
I'm joking, I never said that as a joke. Christmas was cool. It was one of the only times in the entire year when all of us got on.
There was a truce. Do you remember that video, Pipes of Peace, by Paul McCartney? They're in the trenches, the Germans and the English, and it's Christmas Day, and they all come out of the trenches to play football. They take a break from hating each other to play football.
And, I'll add a candle to my love. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And, there's a little bit like that on Christmas morning with me and my brothers.
There was a truce, predominantly for the duration of opening the presents. We tried to keep it going throughout lunch. It wasn't always easy, but we tried.
And, it didn't always last throughout the whole day. But, I think because we were quite different ages, we could go off and do our own things. Mind you, I was the only, I remember, what was I, nine? Ten? Eight, nine, ten, ten.
Yeah, probably nine or ten. And, I remember my dad shouting up to me, because I was in the garden, and I was in bed, well, in my bedroom, I was reading. And, he was in the garden, it was the height of the summer, and he was saying, come outside and play, come outside and get some sun.
I was like, why? Come and spend some time with your family. You're always here, you're always here. What do you mean, come and spend time with you? I need a break.
I'm up here for a reason. I don't want to spend time with you people. It's bad enough I've got to live with you.
I've got to eat with you, I've got to use the same toilet as you. It's, you know, perhaps I had the wrong attitude, I don't know. Maybe.
Maybe. But, I like my own space, and I like to read. And, if I went outside, I did like, as long as I was left alone, but, you know, it wasn't particularly peaceful.
The arguments would inevitably start between my brothers and me. Quite often it would be between, it would either be between my oldest brother and my middle brother, or my middle brother and me. My oldest brother and me, it was four years difference, and there wasn't really an issue.
He was pretty much an adult when I was a kid. And then my youngest brother was eight years younger than me. So, other than just being a bit annoying at times, there was no issue there.
You know, he was, he was a kid. He was a little kid, so, there was no real major thing. So, it was kind of one of those weird, I got on fairly well with my oldest brother, sometimes.
And, I suppose I kind of wanted to be a bit like him. And, generally, during that period, he wasn't a huge problem to me. Although, he, like all brothers, he got me in trouble a few times.
There definitely seemed to be one big magic trick going on, where the distraction technique, I don't know if you've heard of this, if you've got brothers or siblings, the distraction, get in trouble technique. So, we all knew each other's weaknesses, and we all knew what things would grab the parents' attention, and put the spotlight on us. Oh, yeah, so, we all knew the right thing to say, or the wrong thing to say, that would then, it was like a big spotlight would come down on us, and we would be the centre of attention, in a way that none of us wanted to be.
Now, there was one occasion, I don't know why my brother did this, it was my oldest brother, I must have said something that annoyed him. I must have done, either something that annoyed him, or he didn't want the attention on him. He'd done something that he wanted to be distracted from.
Or from the family, you know, the parents to be distracted, looking away from him. I don't know what he would have done, probably nothing particularly interesting, but, anyway. We were sitting in that toilet part where we ate, there used to be the toilet, outside toilet, and it had been extended, and it was like a little place we used to eat.
And, my oldest brother, and I don't know why he said it, I think, I think there was like a bit of ribbing, a bit of like, arguing going on. And maybe, yeah, I might have said something that I shouldn't have said. And my brother said, so how's your maths going then? How's your, how's your maths lessons at school? And I said something like, mind your own business, what's it got to do with you, you silly sausage or whatever.
And guess what was now the focus? Guess where the spotlight was? Wasn't on my brother. Wasn't on my other brother. Wasn't on my other brother.
It wasn't on the cooker. It wasn't on the St Bernard dog, though we don't think we had that yet. It wasn't on the Christmas tree, because it wasn't out yet, because it was probably in the summer.
It was on me. That's what I'm trying to say, it was on me. And everyone in the world disappeared, and it was just my dad looking at me.
What about your maths homework? And it was weird, because my dad went into tantrum mode. Very, very unusual. I didn't really understand what he was doing, or why he was getting so emotional.
So I went upstairs, got my maths homework, or my maths book, and I was checking through it, and finding loads of mistakes. Now, bearing in mind, I was in the dances class of maths, which would now be called special needs. In them days it wasn't called that, in the early 80s.
It wasn't officially called the dances class, but that's what everyone called it. But I'm not sure if my dad was aware that I was in that. And you might think, what do you mean he was in it? Well, what they did after the first term of high school, or maybe the second term of high school, doing maths, they removed me from the class.
And I went, what's he doing? I always found something he was interested in. They removed me from the classroom. They literally came in, they, the teacher, a teacher, removed me.
And they were walking around, removing people from the different classes. And put us into this room. A big room, had toys in, had all kinds of stuff in it.
And they left us in there for two hours. On our own. This was in the first year.
And none of us knew why we was in there. I mean, we were all, I think we were all quite disruptive. However, it wasn't going to help by just sticking us out of the way.
Vinnie, you make all the noise you want, but I'm doing a recording. So calm down, please. Just be nice and quiet.
And then we're going to go, and we're going to go out for a little bit. In a minute. In a minute! And I woke, he's waking me up at night.
Early hours of the morning. He's standing over me. Seriously.
He's standing up and he doesn't want to do anything. He doesn't need a toilet. Doesn't even want any food.
He's just literally staring at me and poking me to get me up. Don't bark, please, Vinnie. I know it's a door slammer.
I can't do anything about that. I don't know how to close the door quietly. It's complicated.
And what was I going to say? So, yes, I don't know if my dad was aware that I was in the middle class. But you'd think that they'd tell the parents, wouldn't you? And for me, it was quite a good thing because I got to meet a bunch of kids that I wouldn't have known otherwise and became friends with them. And they were the most unruly kids in my year.
So they were really naughty. I was with the naughty. Stop it.
Noisy neighbor outside. Bless her. So, I was, I got to meet, make new friends, got to meet kids.
And it wasn't a terrible thing for me to be in that class. Or, it wasn't really a class. It was just a kind of taken out of class.
And that went on for, I think, most of the year. And we used to have fake weddings and all kinds of stuff in there, just left to do whatever we wanted. And then I think in the second year they just disbanded it.
And then we went back into the normal classes again for maths and whatever other lessons. And, yeah. It was weird.
It was just very strange. Nothing was really explained. I don't know if they were going to try and put together some kind of special tutorials or something, but we were literally just left to do whatever we wanted.
Now, I don't know if that was supposed to happen. There might have been a teacher that was supposed to be there and they just left us. I don't know.
I really don't know. Occasionally there'd be a teacher who would come in and sit there and just read a magazine or something like that. But, so I didn't really learn anything in maths.
I'm sure I must have learnt something. I learnt something because I was sitting in the maths lessons multiple times a week for years. But, I don't remember, really.
I didn't. My maths wasn't great and I never did an exam in it. I think I did a city and guilds in maths.
So I wasn't able to do an A level. I wasn't able to do CSE. City and guilds was the equivalent of a welding course.
City and guilds was generally for people in the building industry at that time. If you learnt to do bricklaying and you get city and guilds and it was the first step to maybe part of the apprenticeship that you're on. But, maths was very basic and I still failed.
I still failed that. I didn't pass one exam at school. This is supposed to be about Christmas not maths.
I know. I don't know. So Christmas I I haven't got a huge amount of memories.
There was a Christmas when I was working in a pub and it was weird because I went into the pub and I don't know why I even got that job. I had a perfectly good job in the factory. I just didn't like the shifts.
The getting up really early destroyed me. Ironic because now I get up really early but I didn't like getting up early. I could do the late shifts easy going in at 2 till 10.
Easy, easy, easy. 6 till 10, 6 till 2. No thank you. Even 10 till 6 night shift I could do that.
I just didn't like the mornings. So I left that job. This was the job I had in the factory and I went and got a job in a pub.
It was weird because it was connected to a nice hotel. Like a quite well regarded hotel in town. It wasn't like top of the range but it was an okay hotel.
But the pub, I mean it had its own bar which was nice but the pub on the corner which was also connected to it was a proper dive. It was one of the roughest pubs in town which is weird. And I ended up getting a bar job there.
And on Christmas Day because I had to work all through Christmas up to Christmas Eve and then I got Christmas I got New Year's Eve New Year's Day off. So I didn't get to eat with my family because my nan and grandad my nan invited me around to have dinner there. My dad was going to be there to have dinner.
I couldn't go Christmas Day but I was invited for New Year's Day and that was going to be my Christmas dinner really.
Christmas Day so I worked Christmas Eve went in Christmas Day I was the first one in so I'm cleaning out all the pipes tidying the bar up getting the place ready I open the doors and the bunch of lads come in and they basically go haywire start helping themselves to drinks because I'm there on my own and I don't think I might have opened the because I think it's quite normal to open the doors a little bit early especially in the winter so people can come in and say we'll get
you a drink you have to wait a little while because it's a restaurant so they come in and they start causing havoc they were leading over the bar helping themselves to drinks and I'm calling the they were chucking stuff around and there was probably about 10, 15 of them 100 of them there was thousands of them I'm calling the manager would he come out?
Nope he hid in his office wouldn't do anything and neither did I I just stood back I said do what you want I said look if you're not going to do anything I called the police and just waited and the bar manager came out when the police were there in fact when I said the police were coming everyone scarpered anyway and the bar manager he was actually the manager of the hotel but he was very hands on with the bar he liked to be involved with what was going on he
would not come out and if he had of done they would have stopped if he had of said stop it they would have stopped but it was me they didn't listen to me they didn't care and because I I wasn't even going to attempt to stop them what can you do against 10,000 people all deciding they want to help themselves to a drink I only weighed like 9 stone at the time I was little I was 3 foot tall had to wear heavy boots so I didn't get blown away in
fact when I held when I used to hold a helium balloon it actually kept me on the ground I was that light that helium worked opposite with me actually made me heavier that doesn't even make sense so that was a weird Christmas and I got they accused me of stealing because the the tills were short and I kept trying to explain to them look I might well have I might be the reason why the tills are short no no I didn't say that because that wouldn't have been a very good
defence would it I said no actually even I know that if I was going to steal I would put in the amount that I was putting into the till so if I was going to charge someone £10 I'd only put £5 in the till that's how much I would put in because that's when you had to type in the old tills that weren't they didn't have a little thing that you had to wind or anything but you know didn't need an electric pylon to to get lightning in order for it
to work it wasn't that old but it really you know the customer wouldn't be able to see what I was doing so I could have put £5 in and kept £5 for myself but if I was going to do that I wouldn't I wouldn't put £10 into the register because I know it would be down by five even I knew that and my maths ability was not high they thought I was doing that and for some reason I don't know why they decided that I was responsible so I had to
have extra training on New Year's Day and I said no I'm going to my nanny's for Christmas no New Year's for my Christmas dinner but on New Year's because I missed Christmas dinner because I was here with you and they said if you don't come back don't bother coming back if you don't turn up tomorrow don't come back they're telling everyone that I got sacked for stealing firstly I didn't get sacked I'd left secondly I didn't get sacked for stealing because I didn't admit to it no because I didn't do
it that's it because I didn't do it yeah that's right what other Christmases there was a Christmas there was a weird Christmas actually when I was at the chip shop for some reason I don't know why it would have been 1987 Christmas 87 my first Christmas on my own completely on my own and for some reason I didn't go around my nan's didn't see my dad I don't know why I'm not sure why I don't remember so I was on my own Christmas day and I was just drinking and just
hanging around outside there was nothing to do and one of the customers from the chip shop one of the regulars invited me back to have Christmas dinner with them it's a bit strange isn't it but hey so I did that I think I annoyed everyone they never saw them again it's weird it's almost like I frightened them off that's the only time I ever had Christmas dinner anywhere else but with or either on my own or with family you know I've never had Christmas dinner with strangers before I'm trying to
think of any other Christmas memories Christmas memories I don't necessarily remember there must have been something that happened once at least once the first Christmas here I remember that it was 2015 I had Andre and I wrapped up loads of different bits and bobs I had treats for for Andre and just I was sitting on the yeah I was sitting on the floor had all these little things wrapped up and I was filming unwrapping them and Andre getting excited because there was treats and all kinds of stuff for him so
that was cool and that's probably the last time I actually celebrated Christmas I've not done that this year not done that any year since I don't think or have I I might have done but I can't remember I think that was a one off and yeah that was cool I liked that that was nice other than that I generally don't really celebrate Christmas because I'm on my own generally and I just don't yeah I'm on my own all the time really but I don't really celebrate I mean there was one
Christmas 2006 where I had a girlfriend and I celebrated Christmas I was living in a community the Buddhist community so I had Christmas there and I had an argument with someone I lived with who I was very close friends with but we had Christmas and then the next day he started moaning so he was all happy all the way through Christmas day I mean we're Buddhist so we weren't really celebrating Christmas but we were still having a good time and it was a nice day so we spent the whole day
together laughing and whatever and everything was really good and then the next day he's moaning because no one no one vacuumed the carpet on the stairs before Christmas now I wasn't bothered that he was annoyed well first of all if you need it vacuumed just do it it's like a tooth but the fact that he was like that no one else has done it well why didn't you do it but the thing that annoyed me is that he kept it in so he was bothered about this leading up to Christmas
so the day before Christmas he was upset with it because no one had hoovered but Christmas day he pretended to not be bothered and the next day he went back to being upset by it it's weird isn't it I just I I reacted and we fell out temporarily and then I was I met up with my girlfriend at the time and we spent the rest of Christmas period together like up to New Year and stuff and she made me phone him up and apologise and then the year before that in
2005 I didn't spend Christmas with my different girlfriend I didn't spend Christmas with her I spent Christmas at my dad's I think however I spent New Year's with her so I came back and we spent New Year's one of the better New Year's Eve's I've had and I'm just trying to think Christmas Christmas one of my favourite Christmases ever was 2004 it was with my I stayed at my Nan's stayed in a spare room there was two spare rooms it was a three bedroom house but one was a small room
and that was the one I used to sleep in that used to be my bedroom so I liked that room the other room had a double bed so I had slept in there before and I liked that as well but I had a little thing obviously it was my room wasn't it until my little brother was born so I stayed there Christmas Eve my Aunty and my Uncle came down and we all spent Christmas Eve together and that was really nice Christmas Day came I went and had Christmas at my
Dad's so he came over to wish everyone Christmas to wish everyone Christmas you know what I mean we went back to my Dad's I had Christmas there and then came back in the evening to my Nan's and then Boxing Day I'm not sure either we came over to my Nan's or my Nan came over to my Dad's and my Aunty and Uncle but it was a really good Christmas one of the last Christmases that I remember because it was the last Christmas I spent with my Nan even though she was
still around for a lot longer she went away to my Aunt's every year for the rest of her life so 2004 was the very last Christmas I spent with my Nan every other year after that I'd go and visit her just before Christmas just to wish her happy tidings and I'd find out when she was leaving and I'd go and see her just before and to be honest Christmas was never the same after that after 2004 Christmas wasn't the same without my Nan it just wasn't it's as simple as that
I still had dinners and lots of times during the year it's not like I never saw her it's just the Christmas period she'd been there since I was 7 and I was coming home fairly regularly all the way up and I used to see her nearly every Christmas until 2004 when I was 34 it was quite a long time yeah blimey I'm trying to think of any other Christmases that's the one there was one Christmas that you know it's weird it was just my Dad and my Step Mum there no one else I think maybe her Mum and Dad and then they went home so it was just us I can't,
I don't know my memory is it was just the three of us I went and did the washing up there was loads of plates and you know it took me ages dishes, pots and pans so I'd gone for about 3 days washing up and then when I came into the living room they said where you been, where you been I said I was in the kitchen doing the washing up and they said oh we were going to use a dishwasher it's like ok the one year well every other year oh dear I need to let it go just let it go JJ,
let it go what other Christmases there's lots and lots the good thing about Christmas although I don't really see my Dad at Christmas anymore when we do have a Christmas get together which is maybe a couple of weeks before Christmas my Dad is Father Christmas or Santa Claus he is I mean he's actually got the beard now he used to he didn't have a beard last time he had a beard was when I was a kid when I was probably 8 and he shaved it off and he never had a
beard until during lockdown he grew a beard through that year during 2020 and he shaved it off again and now he's grown it back and it looks really good with a beard it's like fully white it is Father Christmas you know it's amazing so he loves loves Christmas loves it it's his time and it's quite nice to see that to see it's his happiest time of the year I would say Christmas so that's nice yeah I don't even remember last year I remember before last year before Christmas but the Christmas
period it's a little bit of a blur yeah it's very strange so this year I'll just be here watching some TV just doing what I do every other day I might make a recording I'm not sure but that's all I can think about that's all I can remember for Christmas is if anything interesting happened during my life at Christmas anything?
anything for anything I can't remember vague memories maybe if I think of anything I'll tell you tomorrow when I do trivia Tuesday trivia Tuesday so I'm going to go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself remember to be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to be happy lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.