(music) Q&A Friday LMBYTS #1383 Jason Newland 27th June 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com my name is just getting a smell of perfume for some reason that's weird it's got this big wow it's almost like vinny's just farted but it's a nice smell so it couldn't have been one of his farts it couldn't have been how strange so yeah welcome to me me i'm Jason Newland this is q a friday please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and it is the 27th of june 2025 that's nice oh dear so i've got me questions i'll be honest with

you i'm recording this on saturday morning i am i really am yes it was um oh so yeah i'm doing this saturday morning it's 9 47 am i couldn't do it yesterday i was so tired so tired i got home what time did i get home about two o'clock ish in the afternoon and ah i just yeah i sat for a little while and then i went to bed went to lie down wow i'm just on Facebook now and there's the um the politicians in america are not particularly loved it

seems not all of them are particularly cherished wow oh so anyway let me have a look not particularly it makes me i'll tell you what makes me laugh okay is people you know people say oh we we want our free speech or they say something like in this country the prime minister is taking away our free speech and he's a knobhead or something like that and it just makes me laugh because or they say oh he's this person's a dictator he's a dictator if the person in charge of your country

was a dictator you would not be standing there with a big placard calling that person names you would be in a prison you would not be allowed to do that it makes me so like go do that in russia or china go on give it a go baby go on ah we don't have any free speech no i think i think you do i think you do it's a dictatorship okay well the fact that you can say that online and you can walk around just freely saying that stuff means you're

not living under dictatorship means you don't understand what dictatorship means i'll stop now i'm moving back to q a friday i just i just find it funny you don't understand so uh Q&A Friday i have six comments but they're not all questions i got one two three questions a fourth one but it wasn't really a question but i have sorted out the issue so i'll address that one first michelle um asks me not really a question but when i listen to the playlists on your website i'll get ads during the

podcast any way to avoid this thanks and jonathan writes in reply no ads on apple podcasts and michelle writes i'm trying to listen to old podcasts from 2020 not current ones current current ones current ones current ones and basically for anyone that doesn't know on my website let's have a look my beautiful website which is now back there is the first basically on the very first page you've got all the latest recordings and then at the top of the page you've got four boxes that you can click on podcasts playlists

podcast apps and contact and then below that you've got the uh paypal link and boring join the Facebook group link if you click on playlists at the moment there's only four playlists for four different podcasts that i've got playlists for so clicking on Let Me Bore You To Sleep for example and i'm still in the process of building this okay so it's gonna take a while but i'm still in the process so the only one that works at the moment is without music there currently isn't any playlists old playlists with

music at all but there will be with music without music with music five hours without music five hours with music 10 hours without music 10 hours or with music but at the moment just the without music ones and i've got them in groups of 50 so 1 to 50 51 to 100 the last one i've got is 1351 to 1400 so i have yeah so i've updated all of that so they were all now on there so that's which wasn't them before i did that yesterday so i managed to make

sure it's all updated now what i didn't know is that the all right i don't know what i'm hearing someone's playing some a movie or something very loud in the garden so i there was adverts in the middle of the podcast which i would never have never i would never do that but the podcasts because all of the new podcasts i've done the the ones like 101 to 150 all those i'd set those up separate and i didn't click the right box i didn't cancel the adverts so adverts were playing

i've now gone through every single podcast from the playlists that is because it wasn't happening on the other podcasts the normal podcasts because as i said i would never allow that to happen if i knew about it i just didn't know about it and i didn't even realize that the podcasts did that they automatically had it that it's kind of a setting that you have to undo manually i didn't realize it did it because it's been quite a while i don't know why it did it anyway that has been reversed

so none of the playlists will have that anymore so just apologies to anyone that was affected by that and i've let michelle know but just letting everyone know as well now so i've now got it changed and anything else about my website let's have a look i will look at i think what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna have to do probably a little bit of reverse engineering with this one because i can't go too far back with the podcasts because i'm only allowed to have the ones with music that

have got the Spreaker music on them the ones that because that's the only one that the podcast allows if i put any other different music on there they will just they might end up closing the podcast again which i don't want to go through that again so you know it might just be for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep it might only be the last 100 150 recordings maybe that has the the music and so i'm going i have i can't do that right now because i'm doing this but

i will look into that so that you can click on the you know have the versions that are five hours without music five hours with music technically i should be able to do five and ten hours without music for every single one but when i first started doing the Let Me Bore You To Sleep i didn't do more than just the initial recording i didn't do different versions didn't do longer versions didn't do versions with music at all so what i might do instead of going back and remaking new more

more recordings i'm just going to leave the ones from the past as they were but make sure that all future recordings are added and all more recent ones are as well that made sense to me when i said it but i'm not sure if it made sense after i said it i'm not even sure if that sentence made sense did it make sense i don't know i'm not sure i'm going to be sleeping a lot today i am i can feel it i can feel when i've done this i'm going

to go and lie down it's very warm last night very warm indeed i've got no chocolate i got some groceries yesterday and all that money i spent on groceries and it's like i don't know there's nothing to show for it it's like what what what what where where's all the stuff where is everything it's like this there's hardly anything there's a breakfast cereal and and some milk some bread rolls yeah there's not a lot of stuff there i'm not quite sure how it came to be 122 pound oh i don't

know 122 pound i would i'd spend less than that in a month back in 1990 that was quite a long time ago to be fair but yeah i remember when 30 pound was quite a big shop there's a good like two three bagfuls of food for 30 pound and uh you know a hundred pound that would be an overloaded trolley full of stuff yeah there's i need to look into that i need to i need to make some changes i think because i order my food on uber eats i get

it delivered by the groceries i'm beginning to think that they just add on a lot more to the price because the delivery is two pound and maybe they charge i can't remember if they charge any for the there's another another charge isn't there i'm not sure no not delivery i think the delivery was no yeah maybe the delivery was four pound i always leave a tip of two pound which is not a lot but it does add up over the weeks but then i also carried all the stuff up oh

yeah because i got quite a few bottles of water so that's like four quid a pack so i got four packs of water but i ended up helping because when i first got stuff from uber eats a whole one of the main points of getting deliveries is so that i don't have to carry the stuff it kind of seems to defeat the object of getting a delivery if i'm carrying it i don't know it just just seems a bit of a weird concept really and i the more time's gone by

the more often i end up helping them with the with the um delivery yeah and part of the reason i don't want to sort of carry it is because of my back so i was trying to avoid you know doing all the bending over and stuff if at all possible hmm i don't know yeah i seem to have i mean i did delivery this is a few weeks ago it was a takeaway delivery i think it was pizza rung me up to come down and clicked it it's like no do

you not you come in and you knock on my door that's that's how it works it's like it's a winter delivery drivers not even knock on your door anymore did you this is i'm just moaning today and i did you know in the uk in england that well where where i used to live and probably the same in other places maybe not london but the same you know in like towns and stuff in the 80s the early 80s maybe the middle 80s even in the 90s i think but definitely in

the 80s you'd order a taxi they would knock on your door they'd actually knock on your door to come and collect you let you know the taxi's there and then someone discovered the horn and i think one of them must have seen the other one do it i guess it's a bit like in an animal kingdom isn't it you see a monkey breaks a nut with a rock like oh and they all start doing it it's a little bit like that i think and one taxi driver saw another taxi driver

not getting out of the cab not getting out of the car and just bibbing his horn relentlessly until the person came out bearing in mind this is before mobile phones so the taxi couldn't phone couldn't phone you know the person in the house and then it just became that that's how it became everyone just bibbed their horn and now they don't bib their horn it's just they just sit there and maybe they'll phone you or there's you know got apps now and they send you a text your car's here this

is the registration of your car the driver's name is unpronounceable potentially i try and pronounce the delivery driver's names i do they seem to like it i think they appreciate the fact that i've given it a go but i get it wrong so often so hi and they they laugh and everyone says he said no it's my name's jamie so okay sorry i get it wrong but i give it a go i give it a go i do i do because i don't know why i just get bored i guess

i don't know about uber eats i'd kind of like to stop using them really because it's expensive but it's getting to the point you know mcdonald's won't even deliver here now they delivered here before they delivered either if you went on their website or downloaded their app or if i was to go through uber eats or one of the other ones deliveroo or whatever and they would deliver mcdonald's not anymore they've decided it's too far away which is kind of ironic because it's one of the closest places there is i

get deliveries from places way further away than that the mcdonald's here well the closest mcdonald's probably about five minutes in a car from from my where i live just one straight road it's really it's not far at all i wonder why that is maybe i don't know i don't know mind you the mcdonald's always seem to be cold when it got to me no i've not i've not ordered it many times but i've done a bit of market research and other neighbors that have got mcdonald's they say the same thing

and the chips are cold all the fries are cold and the burgers are kind of lukewarm i've not used that term for years lukewarm wonder where it came from lukewarm for those don't know what it means it just means slightly warm it's a bit like when you fill your bath up and it's really way too hot so you put some warm you put some cold water in but then you put in too much cold water in and it goes from being too hot to too cold too cool for a bath

it's not cold but it's just lukewarm and it's amazing how it's almost like three seconds too much two three seconds too much of cold water can turn it from being a nice bath to a cold bath and then you need to put some more hot water in but you have to unplug you have to let some water out because it takes ages to get it hot again or warm strange isn't it it's one of those it's an amazing thing to be able to needs to be sorted out forget space travel

we need to sort that one out we need to figure out what's going on there anyway tammy is the first question oh by the way my neighbor is he's he's doing all right he's um for those who want to know still in the hospital he's had a scan like a full proper body scan not like the ones i do with the recordings but inside this big tube and apparently they moaned at him because he kept moving around i said there wasn't the right time to start dancing was it really we

laughed i mean i think it's because he can't stop talking he literally cannot stop talking is i was trying to figure what what is it what is it that creates someone that cannot stop talking i can be a little bit like that myself is it disliking silences or pauses but it's kind of talking without listening as well so i i do have a tendency of talking but i can also listen and it's it's not a monologue not not like here when i do this this is a monologue isn't i guess

isn't it it's a monologue monologue but in person it's a two-way street but it depends on what the conversational topic is so if you start talking about boxing providing you're a boxing fan and you know something about boxing it's going to be a two-way conversation like equally but i'm going to be excited about what i'm going to say next so i will be just waiting for you to stop talking so i can talk but i will also be listening to what you're saying and i'll readjust what i'm going to say

depending on what you just said it's almost like there's a big queue of things that i want to say and they're just waiting impatiently to get on the ride the next the next roller coaster which is my verbal diarrhea that's about to pop out my mouth when i talk next it's a little bit like that but i noticed that i can't listen to someone that's talking about something i'm not interested in unless it's kind of in a scenario like this you know if it's you know i've got my eyes closed

and it's just relaxing it's a kind of different thing but in a real life situation when there's a person just talking at me constantly for hours and hours it's i find it hard i just i don't i'm not very good with that stuff and i've known a couple of people like that in the past both really lovely people genuinely really nice people where they once they start talking i'd struggle to follow where they were going one yeah i think there's a common thread and i think i've kind of in some

ways absorbed part of that kind of personality in order to produce these recordings in a way because that's kind of how i started off when with the Let Me Bore You To Sleep it was i mean it was just another version of something i'd previously done before anyway which was um speaking out quietly i think or thinking out quietly something like that um and there was another one i forget the name of it but it was where i was just uh i guess stream of consciousness just talking non-stop and i

realized i could do it i could do it really easily it was there was no no effort nothing it took yeah no energy it was just the easiest thing in the world to just talk i'm sure it could be with anyone else as well i'm not i'm not saying i'm special although all my teachers told me i was special and but in a real life situation you know because if let's say if you met me in real life and of course as soon as you saw me you'd want to rip

my clothes off not because i'm sexy as you because i'm wearing really horrible clothes and it's unless you was i mean to be fair if you've if you're used to hearing me listening to me just waffling on like i do and you're used to just feeling relaxed just maybe just the idea of listening to me when you think of me maybe you feel quite relaxed inside and perhaps my voice does send you to sleep so if you saw me in person met me in real life it might be weird i

mean it'd be weird obviously it'd be you know i'm i think if you got together with all the people i've met me they'll all say the same thing weird we're not in a bad way necessarily but weird but i can't quite put my finger on it it's something not the same as other people but not in a good way you know there's it's one good you know you can feel sort of so proud of yourself i'm not like other people but with me it's always been like um i wish i

was and then you say other people what's other people well everyone is the same except you are they obviously not but i do have an abnormal brain so i don't um i'm on the spectrum of something but i just don't think i don't think it's i don't think it's been discovered yet whatever spectrum i'm on it's um it's an unknown quantity wow i would like my friend has just had this i've only started the podcast ever yet sorry sorry tammy and jonathan and tina who've got questions i am going to

answer the questions i promise but at the same time i can't stop talking it's i forgot what i was going to say now now that i've just i've interrupted myself rudely and completely forgot what i was going to say something about being on the spectrum and nope it's gone it's gone out my head what was i going to say something about should i get tested oh so my my neighbor he had a full scan so basically he had a scan to first of all which was a cat scan which scans

the bones and the skeletal system i do believe it scans other things as well but this this full body scan was it goes in depth so scans your brain you just or you know it basically your entire body and i'd like to i don't know if i particularly want to have a body scan because who knows what's going on in there and i think i perhaps would rather not know in some ways but i would like to have a brain scan because there's something not right with my brain they're never

you know it's just and it's not it's just it's a fact there's something they never has my brain's never been correct there's always been something off bit weird so i'd love to get a brain scan and just for them to say ah because i might have only half a brain or something you know it might be one of those that that's like which would make make sense but i might be just like just have a um um what's that thing the the brain the brain stem there might be a brain

stem and just a little bit of jelly on the side that might all that might be maybe some peanut butter on the other side a little bit of bread at the bottom i don't know that you know there might not be anything in there and it'd be nice to just find out because see that sort of bugs me doesn't bug me but i just really understand it things like mental illness issues mental health issues conditions you know so like bipolar schizophrenia and there's so many isn't there so and they're classed

as brain conditions and so things like anxiety could be a brain condition but quite often maybe is due to something that's happened in the past due to phobia due to you know social stuff not necessarily um also got autism as well as a brain thing isn't it so these are brain things then there's environmentally things that have changed someone environmentally and behaviorally which can technically be fixed with time with therapy with understanding i guess that that you know can hopefully be changed at least so i wonder why bearing in mind

that there's millions of people with these brain conditions let's just say those three um bipolar schizophrenia and autism i mean they're different things i'm not saying autism is the same as bipolar schizophrenia i'm just saying it's a it's a brain condition isn't it it's a brain thing let's say call it so why why they're not just scanning every single person with everyone was bipolar just scan their brain maybe every adult not the kids maybe it's every adult with bipolar scan their brain once and then look and compare do comparisons and

do the same with people with schizophrenia or as there's lots of different conditions in between that and you know but then do the same with people with autism just scan the brains and look at it look at the because at the moment all they do the experts in this country anyway i don't know maybe other countries they do more but unless it's a brain injury they don't tend to scan the brain at all so it's just guesswork based on how you feel and how you behave and previous history previous medical

history uh you know stuff like that so just scan it you know if you get a broken bone they scan the bone so they can see if it's broken or not they can't tell if it's broken unless they scan it i mean they probably can they but it probably it hurt a hell of a lot could have to really manipulate you wouldn't they to sort of to feel where it's broken but generally they do a scan so they can see if it's broken in one place it's broken in two places

if everything's okay you know it's just as a clean break and it's simple a simple process which is done probably millions of times a day around the world so why can't they just do that with brains and it's not about having lots of different scans just one scan per person just to start with because i know it's not it's not safe to keep having keep having lots and lots and lots and lots of x-ray scans and stuff but just one per person and then they can get an idea what's really

happening because they do they do do brain scans on people you know when they do studies but just do it on everyone that's why that's what i think but only adults to start with leave the kids alone you know just work on the adults first and then then perhaps move to the kids and work with that as well because that's like a it's a very different situation for kids to it than for adults so i don't know any ideas i suppose is that any questions but it could be well yeah

uh are you gonna answer the questions that are for Q&A Friday because that's why we're here we weren't here to just be lectured about too about having brain scans i don't know i'm kind of quite passionate about that i didn't realize i was until just now quite passionate about possibly it just makes sense to me you know i understand why they don't do full body scans for everyone you know it is simply because it's too expensive apparently and also they'd have to start treating people you know because you know you

know you know you know i'm saying you know a lot i know you know it would yeah it would open up a big old box of frogs i don't think that's the correct terminology because generally people only get a body scan when they're not when it's too late but you know when there's an issue i mean if my friend hadn't turned yellow he'd still be in his flat unaware that he was unwell because he feels fine and he'd be enjoying the football or the rugby or the cricket or the tennis

uh i don't know what other sports he likes but you know he's that's what he lives for that's his passion in life so he'd be having the time he just enjoys his life so be doing that all weekend and be happy instead he's stuck in a hospital ward and he feels fine physically feels absolutely fine it's strange i've never known anything like this before it just kind of doesn't make sense to me because he's not around everyone is around does not feel fine he's the only one i'm not saying he's

the only one in the hospital that's sitting in a hospital bed feeling absolutely fine and kind of wondering why they're there you know there's no way i could say that because there's no way of knowing but i'm pretty sure there's not many that just he he feels perfect or he feels exactly how he always has and you know he's slowed down he's nearly 80 he's he walks a lot slower than he would do that he did you know a year ago even but just he's aging a bit and he's careful

when he walks up and down the stairs but so am i ever since i fell down them stairs a couple of years ago i'm full on both handles i'm holding on to both banisters i've got like five coats in case i fall you know there's a trampoline at the bottom of the stairs that'd be the worst thing to fall on wouldn't it because you just end up banging into the ceiling that'd be such a really yeah you know someone fell off a you know if you were to catch someone that

was falling off a building or something you know and you're trying to save them a trampoline wouldn't be the right thing to to use would it end up back on the building or maybe onto another building i wonder how much it would cost to have a brain scan i'm going to look that up now how much is it to have a brain scan how much the brain scan cost so i'm going to put in uk because it's coming up us it's a little bit different i think in the in the

uk because oh oh after your brain scan 335 pound oh oh okay so that's the brain scan so if you have this is private mri scans let's have a look i was brain and head scans all mr are mri plus brain and head scans from 199 um nuffield health i think i'd probably want to use if i put in my town one to see if anything comes up because i want to i'd want to go somewhere that i knew you know not some um i mean there's one here called scan.com

i mean i might as well just call scam i'm just i don't know i'll be scared top mri.com so nuffield health that's a hospital i do believe i'd want to go somewhere that was like well known or well regarded you know i wouldn't want to just go to random places you have to save up for that vets for pets hca all right so hca that's an actual health care so that's a place private ct scan that's a cat scan though isn't it i don't want a cat scan i'm talking about

brains brains brains departments tests and scans all tests and scans let's have a look coloscopy hpv screaming there's loads there's loads yes bone density oh blimey okay yeah see this is all i wonder if you can just i don't know how much it costs it's not saying oh i'll come out i think that's a like an insurance thing that you need to be part of then house this is weird alliance medical i just if i was oh this is this oh look self-pay mri have a referral do not have a

referral okay allocations why is it put oh there is this one it's actually in the hospital it's actually in the hospital area how weird i didn't wow it's next to the hospital does it say how much 440 pound i might do that actually is that the whole body scan is that hold everything oh no it's four pound it's 440 pound for one body part blimey so let's see what body parts are they offering are they not even offer the brain unless it's head brain head yeah brain head 440 check prices

440 pound hmm so they're not offering it for the whole body wow left thumb check prices you're joking the left thumb they're going to charge 440 pounds for a thumb a thumb all together now a thumb i mean not even both thumbs 440 pound for one thumb that's i don't know i can't that's but if you have your spine done 440 how can a spine be the same price or a brain the brain in the head be the same price as a thumb it's just all about a little finger i

don't know i was gonna say i could it says groin right and left they can't not even offer the whole of the groin i'd like to get a scan to see if there's still anything down there i'm not sure i haven't seen anything for years right and left thumb oh toenails no oh i'll come back to that another time that's quite interesting i might might do that so uh tammy asks how are you doing with the week of chaos around the house is your friend up and about now it's been

a very very weird week i've been up up and back from the hospital there and back every day since friday last week so it's friday saturday sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday so it's eight days in a row i'm not going up today he's got another visitor coming later this afternoon and i can't go up sunday because there's no buses or there is but the buses are just really random every two hours and i'm not going to do that as it is it takes two hours if i get a bus

it takes two hours there two hours back because of the waiting around and there's two buses to catch and a bit of walking so yeah i'm not i'm having two days off and vinnie little vincent here seems to be quite happy that i'm here with him because yesterday he didn't even bark when i left he just sat on the sofa and just looked at me and i left and nothing that's never happened before you know even if i just go out and and pop around a corner he would bark but

this time nothing what's what's been weird is vinnie's behavior the last week now he's been off his food i think that's partly because of the heat but i know it's not just because of that because i left some food out and i gave him a treat which he'd normally just gobble down and he'd be like chewing on it the treat was still on the settee when i got back six hours later and then he ate it so he's sulking basically i think it's been sulking the last few days he refused

to get on my bed he didn't want to sleep with me which is a little bit upsetting actually because for however long i've had him two and a half years he slept in my bed we sleep together you know that's that's our thing and that sounds weird doesn't it well that's our thing that is oh and i don't care who knows it uh yeah so he's it's not just he's been sort of sitting there just staring at me from the floor making the odd little so i don't know but last

night he go on the bed with me which is nice so that was that was quite a pleasant experience again but then i woke up and he wasn't in the bed he wasn't in the bedroom he wasn't in the living room i thought where's finny gone he was lying down in front of the front door leading against the front door now there's a chance that was just the coolest place for him to be i hope that's the reason but i think he is pining for his uncle who's in hospital because

he's used to hearing him coming and going he's he knows everyone in this building he knows where everyone is and who they are and because he can smell and hear them coming i guess and i suppose to him this building's his his home even though we live in one of the flats he gets excited to say hello to all of them he knows everyone here and his uncle opposite me is one of his favorite people so i think he's getting a little bit sad missing him just missing because sometimes you

know i'll be in here and vinny will be out of the front door and my neighbor will be talking to vinny through the door just saying hello to them they'll be having this big full-on conversation it's like let's leave them to it so it's been a bit strange i managed to do a few little bits i did some washing some laundry and kind of ran out of food but i managed to get some food yesterday afternoon or like early evening got a delivery and what else oh the other day vinny

stayed with a friend this was thursday morning he stayed with archie so that was a neighbor around the corner and he's never he's never had a play date before with another dog ever it's the first time and where he's been you know like a dog he knows really well and just gone around because he's known archie for years they're like best friends but they see each other not all the time but usually a few times a week depending on you know if we manage to bump into them but they just

get on so well and they had a really good time together playing in the garden apparently they're jumping all over her the mother of the dogs jumping all over her like why she was trying to use her phone or whatever and probably fighting over attention to be honest so they had a really good time and i think vinny he was he's trying to go back there now because he wants to go back and play because he had a good time but i can't really invite myself can i kind of knock

on the door can vinny come to play please can archie come out to play please you know can't really do that can we really not really not really so he's a bit grumpy but i think he's enjoying me being here so he's lying down next to me he's on his side his his feet and his hands both all touching me so he's i think he's a little bit more he looks relaxed he looks very relaxed and as far as my neighbor goes he's it's the same he's still in the hospital

he's he's chatting he's bored like everyone in there he's just bored being there he doesn't want to be there no one does do they really let's face it who wants to be in a hospital um see yeah but it's physically fine it physically feels fine i mean he's not physically fine but he feels okay he's actually very unwell so it's just he hasn't got any symptoms other than the jaundice and yeah so it's kind of i don't know i think this is a very confusing for him understandably so and he's

just waiting to go home but there are some benefits i don't mean that yeah there's there's some things he's getting there that he doesn't get at home one is he's being fed three times a day he doesn't eat three times a day at home so i think he's quite enjoying getting food like having cooked food i think it's a breakfast cereal in the morning but he's having two cooked meals a day he's he's made friends with the person sitting opposite like next to him so he's got he's got a captive

audience to talk to and he doesn't have that normally because he lives on his own i mean you know i speak to him and i see him and stuff but like me i'm i live on my own so i'm used to being on my own i think the difference between this is i enjoy i enjoy the silence the quiet but if you brought someone in here the chances are i wouldn't stop talking so you know so there's some similarities between us in a sense because that's why i try to explain

this to a few people over the years why i don't want anyone in here when i'm watching boxing you know i've had a couple of friends say oh come around we watch the aj fight or we watch the Tyson Fury fight and i said no i don't want you okay don't say i don't want you here but no i don't don't like people being here when i'm watching the boxing for two reasons three reasons actually four reasons there's a few reasons there's i'll go through them the first one is i

can't relax if someone else is here i don't relax there's there's yeah it's not relaxing for me to have i'm relaxed when i've got Vinnie here and that's it no one else i don't have i don't feel relaxed with anyone else i'm not saying i won't ever feel but you know at the moment and there's no one that i feel relaxed around but it doesn't mean that i don't you know there's people i don't mean i dislike the person if i don't feel relaxed around them i just feel if there's

someone else in my home i it puts me on edge a little bit a lot sometimes and the other thing is they might want to sit next to me on the sofa i don't like that the only one that sits next to me is Vinnie i don't that other side of the sofa is for rubbish well not rubbish but just stuff just bits and bobs is just messy but that's what that's that's what that chair is for this side is for me and Vinnie if i'm not sitting in it and

Vinnie can sit to the side so he takes up a little bit of the other seat a little bit of this seat and that's his area so it's two reasons the third reason would be it'd be distracting having someone here is a distraction which i don't want when i'm watching boxing or which is what i don't want ever maybe not when i'm at home don't need that distraction generally it's probably not true all the times but generally you know if um so if it's if i'm going to watch the boxing

i want to be able to concentrate on that even if i don't want to concentrate on it i don't want to have to concentrate on what someone else is saying another reason is there's a chance they're going to talk constantly which will annoy me and distract me it'll be i lose i lose my i need for me to focus i can do one thing at the time that's it and the other reason is because i will talk i will definitely talk constantly and that will distract me because i'll i might

end up talking about something completely irrelevant and i'll miss an important thing in what i'm watching whether it's a movie whether it's a tv series or whether it's the boxing if i miss something when i'm on my own i can rewind but you know ultimately it's because that i i haven't focused but if i miss something an important bit of information because someone else is talking to me or i'm talking to them that's just yeah can't really do that i'm trying to think of any other reasons but i think that's

enough reasons it's i hope that i could meet someone one day that i don't feel that way with you know without getting all romantic i think it'd be quite nice one day i had someone i could just i don't know maybe hold hands with or cuddle you know maybe watch boxing and maybe they'd be into boxing or they just i don't i don't know the thing is they'd have to sit on top of vinnie wouldn't they because he's that's where he sits so it'd be quite hard but knowing him because

he's got a real thing for women he's really got a i mean he gets so much attention from women he knows it he's a little bit of a little stud muffin thin he is so he'd be all over equally if i had a female friend romantically romantically he would probably not want me going anywhere near her it'd be she'd be his girlfriend basically in his mind so he'd be hogging her he'd be all over her sitting on her lap and probably wouldn't he probably wouldn't even want me and her even

sitting next to each other the other thing is when you've got visitors here they're always breathing and they're always breathing making that noise breathing i don't know i just i'd love to wish i'd love to be the kind of person that just enjoyed being around lots of people i can be around one person i can have a conversation that was loud wasn't it i can have a conversation one-on-one i cannot have a conversation with more than one person at a time without feeling i feel unwell when it happens i'll be

honest i do and there's certain situations i can't i cannot avoid so if i see my dad he's if if he speaks to me on the phone there's always both of them him and his wife now i can talk to either of them on their own talking to both of them is hard because i can't especially on the phone i cannot gauge what their emotions are or even in person i can't really gauge what their emotions are but because there's two i can kind of i can like probe one that's

wrong doesn't it but kind of ask questions of one person to find out what they mean when you've got two people talking and then they're talking they're kind of maybe i don't want to say contradicting each other maybe saying different things but maybe talking about different things as well i find it confusing and you know when i a few years ago i used to say to my if my dad phoned to say take my take my speakerphone please so i could just have a one-on-one conversation be refused and it's just

because i i really really struggle to communicate with more than one person and this is nothing bad about my dad's wife because she's brilliant you know i i love talking to her one-on-one the two of them together i just struggle with anyone two people and when they're together even in front of me it's like it's those silences that do me where i say something and they're just nothing now in person you can see a facial expression doesn't mean i understand what it means but it's something there's and i can question

it but on the phone when it's just silent i can't i say hello why it's what i do he's still there what are you feeling what's what's your internal response to what i just said is this is can't really do that i mean i suppose i could but it'd be weird you know how are you both feeling specifically about the last paragraph is there an emotional response from what i just said please explain it to me in a way that i'll be able to understand i don't know so i i've

really it's weird i'll tell you what's weird my neighbor on the phone he can have a conversation backward and forward in person not so much he can but it doesn't happen so much it's really weird he's like he was talking about some stuff talking about cricket or some sport i i've told him before when you talk about sports i switch off i stop listening i've told him many times about that but i can't say that to him at the moment because it's rude i mean you could argue it's rude before

but it was truthful and in the past i've been talking and he'll remind me of something he said to me i said i'll probably just stop listening which is true again may be rude but he laughed because i've told him if you if you talk too much at me i'm not going to hear it i'm going to switch off and it's not because i'm not purposely switching off it's just i'm so bored with what you're saying again that sounds rude doesn't it it's not in a not in a rude way

it's just a factual thing if you if it's interesting you've got my attention or if it's interesting to me i mean if i'm enthralled see sometimes that's a weird thing um the amount of people i've said this to and i don't mean to so someone maybe i see regularly a dog walker maybe even a friend someone that i speak to you know say hello to maybe someone i've known for years and i'll say something i was like zing it's like wow okay this is the first time you've got my interest

since i've known you and i shouldn't say stuff like that but it's kind of true because i'm all in i'm completely focused on what they're saying and there's nothing more important to me in that moment than what they're going to say next it's like super charged super excited majorly interested because i can't pretend i can't fake interest i can't i can't do it i tried to do it when i was a when i was a counsellor and i realized i can't but then i also realized i didn't need to because

when i was a counsellor i was interested in nearly every situation there was there was uh there was one person that just would not talk about anything while they were there and i managed to get them to open up in the end but that was difficult but this you know i wasn't going to be rude because that's i don't want to be rude i don't mean to be rude anyway ever it's not my thing but almost telling someone that's the most that's the first time you've piqued my interest well it's

the most interesting thing you've ever said to me that's almost like an insult and it wasn't meant to be an insult it's i guess it wasn't even supposed to be a compliment it was just me being honest yeah i got i have to stop myself saying stuff like that because i don't want to i don't want to annoy people i just want to let them to know let them know that i actually am interested and i'm seriously focused on what they're saying and it could be over the most pointless thing

as well it could you know it could be talking about um the zebra crossing and for some reason i'm interested in what they're saying for some reason in that moment i'm suddenly really excited about talking about zebra crossings and i don't know why it's i don't know it's a way it's a weird one okay i've never been excited about talking about zebra crossings but it's yeah mind you the other way it goes the other way because i used to i used to have a friend who would ask me to explain

stuff to him okay explain hypnosis to me they just sit there and stare at me it's like no who wouldn't know about hypnosis read a book that was my attitude and it was just because i'm not gonna i don't know i think if someone wants me to sit there and talk at them i don't want to do it i kind of clamber up it's when they don't want me to do it that's when i enjoy it more no it's not that's not true it's just that whole because i feel i

think in a situation like that i almost it was uh i feel like i'm put on the spot a bit and it's like yeah i think it's a bit like when someone says oh so you've uh so you know about if you ever ever heard about this thing say yeah well explain it to me then no you said you heard about it yeah explain it no that that's not what i do i don't explain anything to anyone i do you know do the q and a fridays but that's i invite

these questions but i'm not even sure what i'm trying to explain can you imagine being with someone in a room with someone and then just saying is this something you're interested in but then it's deciding that they want you to explain that to them in a way that they're going to understand it and there's going to be follow-up questions it almost it sort of turns into some kind of oral exam again that sounds wrong but you know what i mean it's like just no i'm not i don't want to be

tested no but i do like talking to people this is not answering your questions tammy is it sorry how are you doing with the week of chaos around the house is your friend and up okay so i've answered the questions i'm just i felt like my brain was fried yesterday the last three days really but i got home yesterday and i just i was struggling to even put a sentence together i was so tired and just it was overloaded i was is that the right word you know it was too

much way too much of everything seen too many people spoken to too many people and overload did i say it's overload probably from my senses were overloaded my my ears my ears my hearing my ears my eyes physically emotionally probably smells tastes maybe i don't know everything was just too much for me and yeah i don't ever want to go back there but you know kind of got to go back on monday i promised plus he asked me to but yes it's too much for me really i don't not i

mean also i was thinking how often have i actually left my flat and left this area you know this this little area that i live how often have i left there to wander as far as town whether on a bus a taxi and really in the last two years i can only think of three occasions maybe four occasions actually maybe five i can just find five four or five so yeah the last couple of years i've i've left this little area maybe five times once was to a funeral another one

was to a supermarket twice i think another one was to the doctors another one was to the dentist so that's five times in probably two years that i've left my little village and this week i've done eight different days in a row so yeah it was a bit it's a lot it's a lot man jonathan asks what's your normal dinner consist of ever go out to eat and if so what variety of cuisine the answer to the next one the last question is no i don't go out to eat if

i did go out to eat i'm quite open-minded but the last time i went out to eat oh no i did go out no i did i went out just before christmas i forgot about that so it's just up the road from here so it's not far and it was a pub i went to just before christmas went there with some family members to celebrate christmas before christmas and so that was a roast dinner or christmas dinner it was weird because i thought the whole place was going to be busy

and it wasn't we were the only christmas dinner there and everyone else was just in a pub like normal i felt very felt a bit silly and i just figured the whole i really did i thought the whole place would be busy so it'd be kind of quite anonymous sitting there with christmas hats on is not something i would normally do in a pub i just know if everyone else is doing it maybe but not no not the only table and we're just sitting there it's almost like we were celebrating

christmas in the summer that's what it felt like a bit and so that was a christmas dinner other than that the last time i went out oh the last time i went out i did go to the china to the indian restaurant locally i think that was 10 years ago 10 years something like that i did go to a pizza place the pizza hut in town i think that was also probably nine years ago 10 9 9 10 years ago i used to go to the wimpy in town because there

was a time when i'd go i'd go out quite regularly and it kind of reduced over the years and i do i did go to mcdonald's yesterday no i didn't eat in but i think it was either monday or tuesday i went into mcdonald's and had a meal in there which was the first time i've done that in quite some time yeah i think the last time i went there was when i went to have my i went to the doctors the doctors is like a little bit up the road

so i think i went to mcdonald's after going to the doctors to have a checkup uh yeah so other than that no i don't i don't go out i don't really have any kind of um fancy cuisine like french or spanish or italian or jamaican or somalian or thai or german or i don't know what kind of greek you know i don't i've not really gone to many places when i have been to places when i was living in london i've been to there was a tech spa which was wasn't

that spanish i loved it just so many different things to choose from it's that perfect for me and i used to go there with my cousin it's just up the road from where i lived outside of that i'm trying to think i went to a pizza place but that was that's a long time ago i thought i went to the me what was it not the pizza the pizza hut might have been the pizza hut and it was back in 2012 december not 2012 wow yeah no no 2013 december i

think i don't even know no 2012 december i think it was really wow what whoa whoa whoa it's just a little while ago that's the last time i had a pizza i think in a restaurant no it's not i had one with my ex-girlfriend in i think i've moved here and i've been in maybe a year so that what he would have been around 2016 i guess because i moved here 2015 2015 my normal dinner at the moment i eat a fair amount of breakfast cereal and then sandwiches or something

i can just stick in the air fryer it's just um for me preparing food is a bit of a chore i can't i don't really want to be bothered with it but i do it but it's just bits and bobs really i don't really cook myself much as in like a full meal and stuff like i used to when i was younger although i'm gonna try and get back to that it's just just don't feel like it a lot of the time tina asks if there was a movie about you

and vinnie what song would be what songs would be on your soundtrack i'd like dire straits why worry to be one on mine okay tina i don't know wow that's one of the hardest questions i think i've ever been asked what songs there is there are some songs i would have in my if it was a movie about me i can't think about him i'm not sure what he would like but if i you know if going back in the past about me i would i would mix together a scenario

that happened an occurrence with a song of that particular period so for example when i was in hospital having my appendix out there was two songs that were in the charts or there were two songs that i really liked because i asked for them to be played on hospital radio so one was um total eclipse of the heart by bonoi toiler and the other one was down under by men at work do you come from a down do you come from them do you come from a do you what do

you come from a man down under well we mingle and then thunder can you hear can you hear the thunder total eclipse at the heart turn around every now and then i get a little bit turn around what other songs and then when i was about 16 15 16 15 yeah 15 living in my stepmother's my step-grandmother's flat papa don't preach from madonna that was on i watched that video a few thousand times i had actually had it on video and i was just i used to freeze and stop it

at a certain point so i just feel i was used to enjoy watching a dance madonna i was i was kind of really in love with madonna at that time i think and then there was another period i know i'm not including vinny in this mi i'm sorry it's kind of it seems to be like a question i'd need to ask him however strange that might sound i'm not really sure what he'd say there was a period that i got really stuck into this particular song which was blame it on

the boogie by the old jacksons and i don't know why i kept thinking about this song but it was 1989 and i'd lost my previous job working in a pub i'd walked out of that and then i needed a new job and then i had some problems with the person i was living with that was living in the house that i was in so i needed to get out there everything was kind of went a bit weird and i remember walking on to the pier just to get away from everything

and it's a windy this is like the beginning of the year very windy and cold and i just i just kept singing the baby's always dancing when you see the landing i don't get no loving that's no lie blaming on sunshine blaming on the moonlight blaming on a good time blaming on the buoy i don't know why but i just kept singing it and it's weird just that that moment and then when i went to france picked up a hitchhiker on the way to kent i was gonna stay in a

tent for a couple of weeks or a week and because my landlady and landlord were going away for some reason they didn't want to leave me in the flat on my own which don't really understand what that was about but they didn't so they um because i was looking after their kid but it was now summer holidays and the kid had gone to be with the dad for i think the holiday season summer season and they wanted to go and they didn't want to they'd want me there they kicked me

out for a week so i went to dover they gave me a lift because i would go in that way anyway and picked up they picked up a hitchhiker on the way which was annoying because he kept talking to me trying to make friends and stuff and so we both got got off at dover that's it got off at dover he was going over to france to see a friend i ended up going to france with him so he went to france spent i don't know how many days it was

about a week or so just traveling around france going through the alps hitchhiking walking trains is a bit of everything you know so we we traveled across france and i think blimey oh yeah his friend was teaching a rock climbing that's it and then we came back went to paris and went back that way but i just that that period i remember being in the i don't know if it was in dover or if it was in calais but i was in one place where on the monitor the tv screen

they were playing like a prayer it's madonna's um main song from the the album after the one that she was singing papa don't preach which was true blue so yeah that that would be a song for that period i don't know i guess it's just different songs at different times of my life with vinnie i don't know what song i mean there's one song i remember the smiths there's a song called last night i dreamt somebody loved me and such a good song i really like it and that'd be quite

representative of certain parts of my life in the past i was another song when i was trying to do my dissertation for my degree there was i was really struggling to do it i mean in reality oh that's loud wasn't it again in reality it wasn't difficult i just wasn't interested in what i was doing i wasn't interested in the subject i was interested in counselling but the specific dissertation i had to do which i think it was was it 50 000 words i can't remember and i just i did

it but i just it took everything but what i did i started listening to this song that really perked me up and it was i think it was not r kelly what's his name i forget his name big star but i forget his name i think it was will.i.am was on the thing boom boom boom let me hear you go let me hear you go let me hear you go that wasn't a good impression of the song yeah it wasn't actually whoops let me hear you go bang bang no i

think i'm thinking of two different songs yeah i don't really know what song would represent vinny other than he's just a naughty boy sometimes sleeping beauty if there's a song there i mean if i was to yeah if if it was a soundtrack to my life there would be see even i think it's not even so much a soundtrack about what's going on for me more just what i was listening to at that time so when i was very very young i remember sit laying down in a bed or something

and i could see the radio and the radio was playing gary glitter i love you love it was like i love you love you love me too love i love you love me love ooh i love you loving it and it was such a good song i really liked it but i'm not even sure if i could talk at that point but i like listening to that song let's see what year was that i love you love it was in the 70s i love you isn't it weird it's not coming

up okay got it now 1973 so yeah i was it was another number one in 1973 so yeah i'd have been two two and a half i don't know exactly when it came out let's have a look what what month did it come out in the uk because i was playing it oh november 1973 so i would have been three it spent four weeks at the top of the charts okay yeah so it was it was a really good good song so i remember hearing that and lying down in my

maybe with my cot it's weird i've got that memory though of being so young i just remember the song because it was like like the radio used to be they'd be playing the same songs very regularly okay i've got another memory of in the children's home in south end on the radio them playing rock around the clock like but quite often one two three o'clock four o'clock rock four o'clock five o'clock nine o'clock rock seven o'clock two o'clock five o'clock rock i'm gonna rock six around the clock and and i

thought i remember looking that up rock around the clock rock around the clock so of course it was a huge hit in the 50s but also charted in the 60s and the 70s in the uk so let's have a look let's have a look let's have a look let's have a look so charts 1956 oh okay so it charted in 1955-56 it was yeah huge hit in in oh i don't know we're definitely in america i don't know it doesn't oh uk singles yeah it was number one here as well

um and then it was also number 41 in 1966 then 1968 it was released again and in 1974 see that doesn't make sense to me 1974 which makes you wonder how long was i at that in that children's home but then just the fact that they were playing it on the radio doesn't mean that it's just been released but it was number 12 in the uk singles hmm so i just remember them playing it one two three o'clock four o'clock rock five six seven o'clock eight o'clock rock i'll tell you

something strange about that song for me it's got an atmosphere there's maybe it's because i used to hear it in weird periods of my life maybe but there's a feeling connected to that song for me it's a strange feeling it's not not a horrible feeling it's just a certain emotion connected to it and the sound of it is unlike any other song to me it's just that one two three o'clock four o'clock five six i don't know something unique i mean all i know all songs are probably unique in some

way but this was just and then you had to want to shake rattle and roll i want to shake rattle and roll so that one as well and i imagine that's probably got re-released quite often as well quite often ah is interesting bill haley and the comets is that right bill haley and the comets let's have a look i want to check the thing is they all looked really old for some reason they looked quite old in the like in the videos i mean you know from the 50s and stuff

it looked quite old there what bill haley did but in reality he probably wasn't he just because it was all in black and white he was born 1925 35 45 55 so yeah it was like 28 probably at the time 22 20 28 20 26 they're not exactly old is it he just had his face it's weird though because if you look at him he's got that that what that that crooked smile a bit like elvis and he had his amuse around before elvis wasn't he i think 1952 when did

elvis decide to pop up was it 1954 or was it 1956 i'm not sure i'm going to shake around and roll i want to shake around and roll okay all right yeah i'm just wondering how many hits he had how many hits did shake rat and roll man have billy bill haley 1956 studio albums okay no singles i want to know about the singles 52 1952 stop beating around the mulberry bush oh okay um i will stop crazy man crazy petticoat why does that sound familiar 1953 live it up live

it up live it up so the u.s in america number 12 on the these were all in the top 30 so that's a hit isn't that really crazy man crazy was number 12 and then live it up why does that sound familiar chan chattanooga choo-choo wonder why that didn't hit oh yes indeed the 1954 rock around the clock and then shake rattle and roll that wasn't as successful but it's still a hit birth of the boogie wasn't so much um razzle dazzle burn that candle rock a beat boogie see you

later alligator see you later alligator in a wild crocodile see you later alligator in a wild crocodile rock the saints see you later i think that would be the same kind of um sound as rock around the clock as well oh lean gene rock around the clock re-release ah 1974 shake rattle and roll was on the back and then again later on they released see you later alligator now i'm looking at this i'm thinking yeah that's why they didn't re-release see you later alligator in any other country according to this

except england or the uk so rock around the clock went to number 12 in the uk and see you later alligator went to number 52 1974 i'm sure that's that said 1973 though earlier see it's not very this is wikipedia not always correct not always correct me me me me me oh what if i've got any emails no no no no no junk mail just yeah nothing i think i might have answered all the questions i'm sorry they're not very good i've not done a very good job today i think

tina with the if i was going to do a movie of my life there's i think i just want all the best all the songs that i like the best or that i really love to be played throughout but it's quite a few that's quite a few songs yeah that's a lot of songs so i'm finding myself falling asleep so i'm gonna go thank you if you hear any pauses it's just me the drifting off so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself because you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye