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Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yes, and oh what's this? Oh, okay.
Right, so I've just seen a message. So first of all, a few things, few things to mention. First of all, let me have a look.
Oh, first of all, I'm tired. It's only midday. Ridiculous, isn't it? So I've got my Q&A Friday tomorrow.
I've had a few questions already. I had a little look through them. So I think it's going to be an interesting recording.
And I know it's not supposed to be interesting, but you know what I mean. Supposed to be boring, isn't it? I had a new member, a new member to the Jason Newland's boring group. Okay, so according to this, this is really confusing.
So I was going to say it's Clara or Clara, Clara, Clara. So welcome. But also, there's 12345678910.
11 people were invited. But they're not coming up on the 221 people that are actually on there. That's very, that's a bit flimsy, wasn't it? It's very confusing to me.
Very confusing because it just is. It's confusing. But it does say these.
This list includes people who've joined the group, as well as people who are previewing the group. Anyone who's been invited and approved can preview the content in the group. Okay, so welcome anyone, anyone that's new, or that's just recently become... I don't know what the right word is.
What is this? Zay Daniel, and it's saying studied at Loading Swag. Okay. I don't know how many there are then.
I really don't know. This is very confusing. I said that word a few times now.
There's definitely more than 221 people like regularly on my on the group. But that's the official, the official kind of members. Six years ago, so according to this, Chad was the very first person to join six years ago.
Oh, okay. And then Nadia, and then Zanix. And I've got a way of doing this.
I've got a way of figuring it out. Oh, no. Okay, let's go all the way down.
No, I think basically there's too many. I'm trying to cut, cut and paste. Well copy.
And then no, it's not allowing me to do that. Maybe I'll just try and count them. Shall I try and count them? No, it's not allowing it.
So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100. That's 100. That was two years ago, up to two years ago.
So next is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 200, 200, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59.
So according to this is 259. That's new to the group.
That's new to the group. Okay. I don't know why I said the same thing twice.
Oh, well, who cares? It's not that important, is it? But I just want to say hello to the new person, but there's more than one new person, which is throwing me right off. So I was going to say hello to Clara, or Clara, but I will also say hello to Sudeep, Victor, Suzanne, Arkham, Gamit, Brenda, David, Rovzen, I might pronounce incorrectly, apologies, Shankar, Yovani, and Sukaria. So welcome to all of you for being groovy.
How strange. That's strange. So yeah, that was that was it.
But it took me about an hour just to get that out. I know I'm slow sometimes, but blimey. Also, I got a PayPal gift and I was confused because I didn't recognize the name on the PayPal, like the name of the PayPal person.
But then I got an email. An email. Well, a message from a website from Juliet.
So hi, from old from Cuba, petty in the middle of Australia. Wow. Hello.
I just sent you a PayPal gift but didn't know how to add a message to it. So doing it separately. Thank you all the times you sent me off to sleep.
You really do have a gift for it. Jay. Thank you.
So thank you, Juliet. And I'm glad you did send the email because or send me that message because I was gonna I was gonna reply but it's got a different name on the person who sent the money, or a different account if that makes sense. Peter, so I was like, I was gonna say thank you, Peter.
So what I'll do is I will reply should be able to reply with the email. Why is it? Really? It's not allowing me to do that. That's not right.
Is it? Oh, yes, it is. Wait a minute. Okay, I've got your email address.
So what I will do is I reply PayPal. So thank you very much for your PayPal gift, Juliet. And so what I'll do is Hi, Juliet.
Thanks. Julie at Juliet. Thanks for your PayPal.
So thank you. And also thanks for your kind words as well. So I like I like to hear that what I'm doing is useful.
So thank you very much. So what I'll do I'll send that sent done. Also, I had a message on Facebook.
I have to go back a little bit to see it because someone posted summit on air. What was it? Working. All right, this is Clara.
And posted a comment on this is when we did Molly put congratulations to our new members on becoming part of this glorious, boring group. Clara. Cheers.
And Clara says found the podcasts this afternoon. And words of for headache relief is gold. Thank you.
And now giggling to the critique of questionable house building processes of the three little pigs. Cool. I got no idea what I talked about in I don't remember anything I've ever really said.
But I'm glad someone else sent me a message. I can't find it. It was something about being sending you to sleep for the last six years or something.
Oh, no, I know what it is. Q&A Friday. It was within a question.
So I'm going to read that out now. I won't read the question. But we'll just read the if I can find it.
Oh, this is from Sandy. So I won't read the question. But I'll say that the end it says and also thank you for being with me for the last six years.
I love falling asleep to your stories. Thank you. And that I do believe is everything.
I mean, I've got my website, I've been working on it, trying to get the playlist up and running again. And they seem to be now fairly functionable. This is still work to do.
There is still work to do. But all the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones have done work in current will not right now but I have been working on the deep sleep whisper ones. They're all linked to the podcast the individual podcast for those playlists.
I just have to publish them. They've all been uploaded as well as I have to publish them. So it takes it's a few hours of really monotonous.
Monotonous. Yeah, it's very, very, extremely boring. Boring, boring.
That's like boring and tedious, boring. There should be a mixture between boring and tedious as a word. BDS deviant that's a different word.
So yeah, so I'll have to let me put asleep deep sleep, whisper, relax and sleep hypnosis daily and the relaxation for stress and panic attacks. Those four podcasts will all be by the end of this week will all be up and working. So you'll be able to well for one you'll be able to get the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.
I think I've got to let me have a look. Right up to 1250 of those ready on there. And for the deep sleep whisper ones.
There'll be 200 400 maybe 500 eventually at the moment. I've done I've released up to 150. Not released up to 200.
Okay, I started the other one as well. So yeah, so I've released some of them. But they will all be done.
And within the next couple of days, they'll all be released. And then with the relax and sleep hypnosis daily, there will be 300 to choose from. And lastly, not lastly, because there'll be others as well.
Relaxation stress and panic attacks. There are about at least up to 300 of those recordings will be available. And once I let them once I release them, publish them.
And then what I will do, what I'll do is I'll also go through some of the other stuff. I mean, I don't know if I really need to, to be fair, because stress and pain relief, there's only 47 recordings anyway. So I don't think I need to really worry about that.
But if I do decide to put the ones with music separate as well, then I will need to. Q&A Friday podcast is on there. So all of those recordings are on there as well.
Requested recordings, all the requested recordings are on there. Yeah. But also, that's in the podcast.
But if you click on requested recordings, you can ask for recording to be done. I won't necessarily, I won't do it. You can ask.
I mean, I do try. But the problem is, I just don't want to. I'm jerking.
I'm jerking. Okay, so let's have a look. I'm just gonna move that.
That thing. I keep getting these emails for the Magic Mind Partnership. They want me to become partners with them.
I don't know. I don't really know what to make of that. YouTube, YouTube is going a bit.
There used to be an old saying, an old word that was used a lot in the early 2000s, or about 2000 time, maybe late 90s, pants, which would be like a term for not going very well, not going particularly well, particularly good. And that's kind of how YouTube's going at the moment for me. It's not.
It's become a bit stagnant. Maybe it's because I haven't really. The thing is, like I haven't made a lot of recordings.
But I did do recording on when did I do recordings? I didn't do one yesterday. But I'm pretty sure I did do some on other days. Let me just check.
Go to SoundCloud and have a look on there. That'll tell me. Profile.
Right. Wow. Okay.
So I did one on the 20th of May. Oh, was that yesterday? No, it was Tuesday, because it's Thursday today. But it was a stress, stress relief one.
So yeah. But I did Let Me Bore You To Sleep on l m b y t s, lumbits, lumbites, lumbites. Sounds weird.
And so I've been doing I did one on Monday. And then I did. And that was the 19th.
I did one on Sunday as well. That was that was a bit squeaky. And I did one on Sunday, the 18th.
So yeah, and working on playlists. That was number 1355. That was the 18th.
And I did one on the 16th, which was Friday, Q&A Friday. So it's not, I think sometimes when I go a couple of days or a day or even three days, it seems like a long time. It's not really.
It's just, it's just a lot less than what I would possibly on average complete. Due to being at times, I'm going to use a word prolific. I would say that's a fairly good word.
At times, I am quite prolific. And at times, I'm not. I would say, possibly more often prolific than not.
This year, I've had a Yeah, I've done quite a few recordings this year. How many have I done? I don't know. I wonder how many recordings I've done.
Things like that interest me. I mean, it's kind of good to be interested in what you're doing, isn't it? Really? You know, if I was just had zero interest in anything I did, there wouldn't be a lot of point in doing it really, would there? You know what I mean? So let's let's have a look. The turn of the year.
The turn of the year. What was the number of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep at the turn of the year? Wow, there's a lot of scrolling down. Yeah, I've got I think the last couple of weeks I've got been a bit a little bit concerned about, you know, what's going to happen.
And with some stuff, and I think I've, I was trying to reduce my outgoings and, you know, get rid of the website. And at one point, I got rid of SoundCloud, then I put SoundCloud back on, then I got rid of Spreaker, and now Spreaker's back on. And then I, you know, I started looking to get got, yeah, I got rid of the website, and now the website's back on.
And actually, this is weird, this whole thing, what I'm doing, I'm trying to go down, just so I can see that the laptop is the screen every time I scroll down, the image is getting bigger, which is not what I wanted. So I've come to the conclusion, after lots of to and fro in, and I deleted all the playlists, and now I've had to redo them. Is this that I'm just going to leave everything as it is.
Just continue. Just continue with what is what it is. And, you know, see, see how it works out.
So that's what I'm going to do. And I've done a lot for the playlists and nearly done this constant work to be done on a website. But I've got a lot of transcripts of, I've got 1000s of transcripts already made or over 1000 already done.
Still quite a few to do. And I'm going to be adding those to the website as well. To the to the website to the actual podcast episodes.
So all that stuff will help. Because I'm thinking sometimes I don't play things too cleverly when it comes to the internet stuff. Because I'll make the podcasts.
But in reality, instead of making lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of episodes, the clever way to do it to be make one recording a week. But work on promoting the podcast, like one podcast, one recording a week, maybe two a week, maybe one every two weeks, you know, just one recording and have it, you know, promote it, get it, get it online, get it, get it so people find it.
Try and get onto those lists of sleep recordings, sleep podcasts are useful, because I'm not on any of them.
So, you know, I don't, I can't go to making one recording a week. That's, that's no good for me. But at the same time, I really could do with looking at ways to promote it.
And at the moment, all I've got other than a website, the podcast themselves, I've got my website. So if I can try and promote it, try and promote my recordings on the website, and also give you whoever an opportunity to go and listen to the older recordings, but find them easily. Because especially with the let me boys asleep, you can't find old stuff on there.
Because even the best, or the podcast hosts like Apple and Spotify and all that, even the one the most you'll ever see on there is I think 250 of like last recordings and bearing in mind to do six recordings per episode. You know, you're not going to be able to, to get hold of anything from two years ago. But I've kind of made it more available now.
I hope it works. And I have had people viewing the website in the past looking at the different playlists. But just some reason, I had an idea.
And the idea didn't work out quite so well. La la la la la la. But it's okay.
Right, I'm down to the 24th of January. So I'm just gonna just count how many recordings I've done this year so far. It might take some while, three months, of course, it's three months ago, it's January, wasn't it? So I've got boxings on Friday and Saturday night.
So that's good. Saturday night, I'm gonna relax, watch boxing. And that's something I'm looking forward to.
There's a there's one fight I'm really looking forward to on that bill. It's on the undercard. There is is Moses Atumi, who is potentially a future heavyweight champion.
So I'm looking forward to watching that. 14th of January, okay, still got a little way to go down. Little way down, little way down, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, where is it? 10th of January.
I can't believe I've done a lot of recordings this year. This might be one of my more busy years as far as how many different recordings I've done. Second of January.
New Year's Eve. So that would be the 31st of December. So Happy New Year.
Monday's boring objects. First of January. So so that was the first Let Me Bore You To Sleep of the year, which was right it's down somewhere, but I don't got any paper.
I do on a card. So the first recording of the year was 1261 1261. And the last recording so far of the year was a couple of days ago, Monday, in fact, three days ago, which was number 1356 1356.
There's about 110. Still not a lot is it really? 3, 6, 9. January, February, March, April, May. I don't know.
So 1261 1361. No, it's less than that. Blimey.
It's 9095 9595. I don't know why that sounds wrong. So 95369 is three months solid every day.
And then January, February, March, and then nothing. Then April and May, I just do five. So yeah, otherwise, it's all right in it.
It's all right. But I've also done a lot other ones as well, which were that weren't Let Me Bore You To Sleep. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
This is hurting my eyes. This is scrolling down 1819 2021 2223 2425 267 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 100 99 100 100 sorry 890 91 92 92 93 94 95 96 I can't believe I'm struggling to count to 100.
But trust me, some of the recordings one or two.
I didn't do all six. So 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 162 my head spinning watching that go down like that 162 roughly I might miss the couple because there's a few recordings I just did one off
I didn't do like six versions and so I kind of skipped through a bit too quick so 161 did I say that's not bad is it 161 recordings and in January February March April May 3 6 9 12 13 14 15 3 6 9 12 13 14 15 so it's literally one every single day of the year technically which is more than I've ever done before I've never done 161 recordings I don't think in the first January February March April May five months I had to count that out on my
fingers the first five months I've done bearing in mind we've still got a week over a week left we go so it's today Friday that's one two three four five six seven eight nine ten ten so there's still 10 days so it's be 171 because I'm probably going to do at least one recording per day and says today's the 22nd Thursday the 22nd of May 2025 so number the 23rd is Friday which is tomorrow Saturday is the 24th of May which is the day after tomorrow Sunday is the 25th of
May which is in three days time and then Monday the 26th of May which is next week the 27th and that's the last week of the month Tuesday the 27th of May which is the day after Monday there's also the day before the 28th which is on a Wednesday then we've got the 29th of May which is on a Thursday and Friday the 30th of May 2025 and then Saturday the 31st of May 2025 and then we move into June so the 1st of June is on a Sunday so it's
the 1st of June is the Sunday the 1st of June 2025 and there's only there's 30 days in this June so then it's a following Tuesday and then the following Saturday okay all right so that's some information I'm waiting on so I'm kind of I don't know if the word looking forward to but it's something I need to I got the third and then the sixth the third is to find out what my how much I'm gonna get and then the Saturdays when I get the first payment so yeah by
the way that's Vinnie it's not me you might think I mean unless you think I've got my feet in a bucket of water and I'm just flicking my fingers my fingers my toes around I mean I haven't I haven't had my feet in a bucket of water for years like a bowl of hot water with maybe salt or dettol or something to soothe to soothe the feeties but I definitely don't think I would do that under a desk which is covered in electrical equipment I just don't think it's a very
sensible thing to be doing so I would not do that but I would do it if I was in the chair over there see it's so rhyming isn't it sometimes the English language I fancy a sandwich see no I don't if I did have a set I tell you what I fancy a sausage roll that'd be nice but I'd have to go out to get stuff like that it's quite a dull day today it's been so I'm not I don't really I'm not really a weather complainer not really I'm kind
of okay however it is the only weather I struggle with with you know having to take Vinnie out to empty himself is when it's raining you know just getting completely soaked through it's not it's not I don't enjoy it if I'm honest although I do remember back in 1995 I wasn't having a particularly good period never mind you know I just I was having a bit of a you know not a great time thanks Vin and that's him clapping you know whenever it is you know when you know he's laughing
as he flips flops his ears like that he was mocking me so I'm going through this bit of a weird period of I was a bit unwell with stomach problems and I was just having tests and just didn't know what was going on and I think I was waiting for some results and stuff which turned out okay they put it down to stress and put me on antidepressants and the symptoms cleared up symptoms I'd had for like eight eight or nine months it's ridiculous really maybe longer actually maybe 10 months
eight nine ten so but anyway I was so I was feeling sorry for myself a little bit and this this female lady that I'd kind of been seeing a bit that had fizzled out to nothing and so I'm in my t-shirt bearing in mind I could wear t-shirts back then because I was I wasn't slim I was skinny like proper skinny and so I'm walking up towards I don't know if I think I might have been even collecting my laundry or just walking up to get a bottle of water or
something I don't know I think it might be in a Sunday and the local shop was closed so I had to walk up to the off license and it's raining and I'm I've got this like a silk shirt on probably some jeans trainers hair I had hair back then dark hair no greys I mean there might be some greys but I wasn't looking for them it wasn't really till I hit my late 20s that I started noticing and thinking no I used to put I used to pluck them out I
did I used to pluck out the the grey hairs because I thought no not yet it's hard though because sometimes I end up pulling out more than I needed to you know the the dark would come as well the the normal colored hair ones so maybe that's why I ended up bald it can't be good for the hair follicles to do that but I just didn't want to be grey and after a little while I got used to it I was like who cares but it was it was like just
random grey hairs just would be there in the end what I did is I just cut I cut it out you know just got some scissors we know how you cut hair all right but I just like go to the root you know just and they'd be gone and then I realized we've got to just shuffle your hair if you've got like one grey hair and thousands of dark brown hairs you just shuffle your hair and it's no one's really gonna even notice it but I noticed it and yeah I
remember saying to my my the bloke I lived with he was my landlord but he's my friend and I said I think he's getting in the way of me meeting anyone new is that one grey hair I think that's what's stopping women from approaching me he said are you sure it's just not your smell what would you mean he said you haven't even cleaned your underwear for about six months so annoying isn't it when people say stuff like that because they feel just because they live with you just because they
know your laundry habits rude very rude no but I did feel a little bit self-conscious anyway I'm walking I don't know what that's got to do with anything I'm walking towards probably the off-license just to get myself a bottle of water it's a sunday afternoon which is probably why the other shop was closed I think they used to open in the Saturday morning for the newspapers and then it would close and I see it starts raining but not just raining it's like proper proper absolute soaking drenched wet but the difference
is it was warm like it was a really warm summer's day and it was lovely now I had probably yeah yeah by 95 I'd cut my hair so I was no longer had long hair so my hair was fairly short sort of been quite a nice little scalp massage as it were I'm completely drenched and I got this silk shirt on which I mean it was I say silk I mean I got it from a shop it was spelled s-y-l-k so I don't know if it was actually silk but I
liked it it was nothing particularly looked good on me because I just I didn't feel well that's how I didn't feel anything really looked particularly good I didn't want to wear tight stuff because then you could see how little I was how slim I really was I didn't want people to know that which is weird because it's the other way now and I never used to tuck my stuff into my jeans I always used to like to sort of have stuff hanging out I can't rephrase that I used to like
to have my shirt outside of my trousers and it got completely soaked but these were these silk shirts I had and I had a few of them I really liked them because I'd wash them by hand it couldn't go into a washing machine because it'd melt which means maybe they weren't silk but they would dry with in like an hour they would dry so quickly but they would also dry completely flat no ironing needed plus an iron would just melt them we didn't think maybe they were plastic anyway so I'm
walking towards this shop I don't know if I asked my friend if he wanted anything from the shop probably not he was just too busy doing his own thing so I'm feeling sorry for myself like there and it starts raining and I'm thinking that brightened me brightened me up that did getting completely drenched in this very powerful shower from above so I'm walking it's almost like I couldn't really see ahead of myself because it was raining so hard but this this is before I started wearing glasses for seeing okay wait
a minute that's the only reason to wear glasses isn't it before I started wearing glasses when I was in public because I wore glasses for reading before that and then I so I'm walking I see this figure walking towards me which yeah I didn't really see it until it was a bit closer it sounds like an obvious statement doesn't it yeah I didn't see it until it got closer you don't want to see it when it gets further away are you I'm not sure if that's a helicopter or a plane
going past but yeah it's very cloudy today that's kind of what I'm saying so I'm walking and it's the person I see is the the the female that I've been kind of seeing dating kind of a little bit awkward and I didn't really know what to what to say because she just I don't think I was particularly good company because I've been a bit unwell I just wasn't you know but she yeah I don't know she just didn't sort of come around she used to knock on my door come around
and she'd stopped come around and but anyway I saw her and I was absolutely soaked and she had this tight t-shirt on and she was absolutely soaked I don't know why I mentioned it was a tight t-shirt I wish I can backtrack from that she was wearing whatever she was wearing it was getting it was soaked and it was clinging to her bosoms no no what I'm saying is we were both very mine were also very you could you could my everything was clinging to my body as well but it's
almost like I was shrinking it's you know because with the loose and the shirt was way too big for me so it was just hanging it's all more almost like a dress really and as it got wetter it's sculpt to my body and I was gradually becoming invisible because I was so skinny and we were just talking and it was weird because we were talking for about 10 minutes 15 minutes in this complete wrap me just it just continued to rain really hard and it's quite a happy memory really with
or without her being there it was just a nice memory just it was cooling me off but at the same time I think by the time I got home my shirt was completely dry because what the sun came out and it stopped raining wouldn't if it was continuously raining my top wouldn't have been dry would it so maybe I didn't need to explain that bit unless I went to the I suppose I could have gone to the laundrette and got it into a tumble dryer but then it would have melted
so yeah because it's a real silk real silk melts in tumble dryers apparently I think I remember saying to her where you been she said what you mean like ever so what do you mean ever he said well you said wherever I've been do you want a list of every single place I've been to bit controlling isn't it I don't mean in a controlling way I'm just generally haven't been around I was wondering if you're okay she said you do have my telephone number I said I know but um I
didn't really have an excuse there I mean in them days it was different because there was no mobile phones but there was but you know I didn't have a mobile phone and no one I knew had a mobile phone it was not really till 96 I dated someone that had a mobile phone and then started seeing her around a bit more than 97 you know really the mobile phones really kicked off like 97 in this country became much more prevalent so it'd be a case of phoning up when someone was
hoping that they were in you couldn't phone someone at any time of the day and expect them to answer the phone perhaps like now because she was out at work or she was whatever she was doing what was one weird thing though is I shouldn't tell you this so I'm not telling you her name but I had a she was in she was kind of she knew someone that I knew and this person came up to me a couple of years later actually and he said I'll ask you something I
said oh what now he said what do you mean what now I've never asked you anything before I said you did you asked me something last week he said what he said you asked me if I wanted a lift in a cab he said you're my taxi driver I said no none of that happened um he said uh I've started seeing someone that you know I said okay let's call her Brenda I don't know what her name was I did I did at the time I just don't now it's a
long time ago about 30 years I don't remember this was the summer 1995 and she said and he said to me I just want to know whether or not you and her got it together so what do you mean got it together got what together did this one know if you did it what jigsaw puzzle what what do you want to know if we did what what did we do go hiking they said no I don't know if you uh you know if you said you didn't she's nothing happened between
you and her you just went out for drinks and that was it nothing happened of any kind of intimacy intimate nature and I laughed and walked away I said that's what she said I said okay was it true I can't remember it's like I'm not it's first of all it's like all weird question and the fact that she was lying to him I just didn't really get it was she embarrassed mind you I don't don't blame her really I don't think anyone's actually spent a night with me and gone out
bragging about it but oh it's weird like well we were dating we went out we were together for a bit a little bit wasn't like an official relationship and but she stayed over a couple of nights and stuff like that in where I lived and yeah I mean I don't know what she what he thought that we were doing swapping recipes I mean I don't what what what you know I was 25 years old in fact I wasn't I wasn't even 25 then I was 24 24 years old there wasn't
really much else on my mind back then other than having fun I guess kind of maybe but it was weird though I had a similar thing with um when I worked at Churchill so there's this this female she kept smiling at me now I didn't know if she liked me or um maybe had a bogey hanging out of my nose you know this I don't know what it was so I checked that out and that was all clear so I thought well maybe she likes me and she and she started
saying hello to me I said hello to her she'd just be in and out of the office she was working in admin or something and we got chatting and talking and we went out for lunch I just didn't know it just seemed weird it's like so I just we went out for lunch you know during work time well lunch time on a work day and just went to the pub had a cup of drinks and at the end and she's she had a boyfriend or like an on-off boyfriend and she
had no interest in me which is fine like she just I guess she maybe she wanted a friend or whatever she but she wasn't particularly she didn't you know she didn't seem to be anything there so okay and um I did make a laugh though like hysterically laugh by accident because she said to me probably got her back in 10 minutes you haven't eaten yet I said what are you she said that's fine I've got I've got my lunch back in the office I can pretty much have my lunch whenever
I want and I said okay she said what about you that's fine I'm okay and I pulled out a tuna fish sandwich from my pocket it was in my coat pocket like what's weird about that and just couldn't stop laughing I mean I don't know if it's a fact that I had a tuna fish sandwich in my pocket throughout the whole time we was talking maybe she didn't expect it to be there but she just could honestly she was really laughing a lot and then we kind of just left and
I'd say hello to her and we were just friends like friendly nothing happened nothing at all and then about a year later almost six months a year later someone from the sales floor bloke came up to me and said is it you is it true you and what's her name got it on together I can't remember what her name was I can't remember what his name was either and I said why he said well I can't believe I should be with you which is it although it's rude but I do
understand it it's yeah I understand that concept it's like yeah it's yeah I don't know if it I don't know if it was a mixture of he didn't want to step on my toes or he just didn't like the idea of dating someone that dated me I can understand both both aspects of that and I said no he said those are people are telling me that you've been together and you you got it on together and you've dated like what I said we went out for lunch once and that was
it we've never never seen her outside of work other than that one time and no we did never date never had physical contact at all and he was like okay it was weird like she's why would they're all a little gossip very strange I wouldn't have minded if it was true it's a little weird I mean they did that gossip but no one used to like take any hints when I tried to start some gossip nothing you know coming after a weekend and like oh knackered trying to say it loudly
nothing I just wanted someone to say why you're so knackered so I could say I was up all night or up all weekend humping away oh oh I was a stud triplets but nothing and no one noticed I try and feed people information about myself that was lies to make try and make myself look like I don't know like a normal person and nothing but I take my tuna fish sandwich out on a date one short lunch hour-long date which didn't lead to anything and everyone knew about it tuna man
they called me yeah I've had worse names to be fair how many 161 recordings I've done it's not bad is it really so I'm thinking I kind of I've left my last job there is three females that I was kind of getting on quite well with and I was considering bearing in mind this is a long time ago now I didn't know if one seemed to like me like seemed to be flirting with me another one I didn't know I just wasn't sure but she was funny she made me laugh
and then another one actually asked me what time I finished like what time do you get off and don't ever know like like almost as if she was sort of I don't know I think we were we were both on the same kind of energy level which at that time wasn't I wasn't on a good energy level at that time so I don't think that it would have been potentially a good mix because I wasn't in a the best space in the world so but we definitely had a there was
a rapport there but it might not be in a good rapport because I don't think I'd want to stay on that I don't know because I'm quite quite low level quite low quite low energy kind of person quite calm not very excitable apart from when I am you know I have moments of excitement but generally very calm very low down very not low but like just low-key I suppose what I'm saying very low-key yeah so I've been working on my website it's just it's taken a time because of the amount
of things that I'm doing to it but it will be done soon I just need to relax into it you know take my time it'll be done by the weekend all that needs to be done really and then there's some other stuff that I can do I guess technically the website will never be complete never be finished it's just you know never it's just one of those but maybe by adding transcripts and maybe by working on the SEO search engine optimization could be useful but then I kind of think well
in reality who uses websites anymore the people it's all apps now isn't it and it's going to be moving to something else and I just don't know I just don't don't know I don't know have I got another message I know yeah oh if you want to join my Jason Newlands Boring Group just there is a link on my website you can just click and it takes you there there's also right at the top of the very first page there's there's a little banner which you can click on which takes
you there I want to add some new banners which would be a few little shortcuts to places and hopefully that'll work yeah I could quite easily go to sleep you know it's weird isn't it feel ever so sleepy ever so I don't know if it's the darkness because it's I mean if I was going to read I'd need the light on and it's only 18 minutes past one on the 22nd of May but with the tree there and the no sunshine really as such just the gray clouds it's a yeah
dull day it's weird it's not warm it's not cold but it's not warm it's kind of a little bit chilly I mean people are still walking around in t-shirts and shorts but there's some people have that that way in their brain don't they where they sort of a certain date comes and that's it it's now summer and the shorts come out and they go out in shorts and a short sleeved shirt or t-shirt regardless of what the temperature is because it's summer I don't think I don't quite fit into that
category you know I'm trying to adapt to what the weather actually is not what it should be yeah I thought about I did this thing yesterday where I started going through using chat gpt okay and I thought okay well I'm gonna add some stuff in here I'm gonna gonna I'm gonna ask it to hunt for some amusing stories or amusing parts of my podcasts so I uploaded loads and I chose weird right the only thing you seem to focus on and this was a hundred right episode from 100 to 150
I think right so which is just ridiculous really how many come up with about 35 things that might be humorous that they came up with and what's in this batch it says heavy on bodily function gags your trademark no bodily function gags isn't my trademark existential life choices and examining um society that's my trademark plus Andre's increasingly abuse increasingly bizarre love life and a couple of awkward social set pieces all drawn from 101 to 150 okay so I did 100 okay um sleeps a little bit like a fart you should
never force a fart although you can force one and have to buy new clothes what I bought some sleeping pills that said on the on the packet warning that may cause drowsiness that's true shouting our baby to stop crying doesn't work babies look like E.T. without a bicycle that's rude okay I was looking through it if you're if you're under the bed covers with someone on a first date it's commonly common courtesy to warn them when you're about to fart see not everything I mean I farted the other day and
Andre my ferret jumped off the bed and tried to open the window I mean what if I moved to a mountain cave I'd have to call my autobiography it's very hard to hide farts in a cave it's focusing on farts the whole time that's not all I talk about I've not spent eight years and done 1400 recordings just talking about farts I haven't I know I haven't oh dear another another title really that's a helicopter isn't it I think that was loud I got another title for my autobiography there is
no fun in a premature fart okay cues okay good right okay I'm just looking at this and it's just focusing on farts the whole time and that is not what all I talk about I let off the biggest stinkiest egg roll fart in the underpass the echo is so loud that the people above thought that Tony the busker has started singing again wow that's rude isn't it and then I looked down and saw that Tony was hiding in my pants that's just a weird thing so I'm basically having to go
to the busker saying that he sounds like my farts so this is from 2019 when there was a busker on the underpass and he people used to pay paying money for him to stop singing we need a national toilet day I have a life lesson here treat anger like a poo treat anger like poo flush it away just flush it away and forget about it let it go don't cradle it like a prize possession whoops that bit of metal's got to go I tell you it's stuck on that desk need
to get rid of it I hear the special noise when I move so yeah it's more of the same rescue boat improv man must choose between safety or a poo-shaped suitcase or a wet a sweet corn handle I don't even know what that means and then we got yeah I heard noise oh another one I heard a noise um after going to the toilet I had a bit of I think I had a bad stomach and I went back into the bathroom and the toilet was trying to get out the
window so yeah this is another version of what I said earlier this is a weird one I always fancied pupper smurf there that's my confession of the day what was I doing is what I was I going through some kind of confession period if you're still awake post the words pupper smurf in the comments oh dear I can't imagine anyone was still awake when I was talking about that it is ridiculous seriously so I went through 200 recordings while I got chat gpt to do it 200 recordings and that's all
it came up with a few fart jokes there's got to be more to it because I was thinking of maybe putting out best of or silliest bits or something like that and I can't believe that that's all my recordings have come down to is just gas jokes letting off gas bottom burps just seemed ridiculous so yeah I'm sure I must have said something mildly oh Ken's left a message what is it what is that check missy ken says missy torres missy check the solenoid what's a solenoid I don't know so
I'm gonna go this has been a weird recording I'm not sure what this has been about just me talking about what's going on kind of now ish and yeah I've got no idea it's very strange is it not so on that note I'm gonna go I'm gonna go yeah yeah yeah so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself because you deserve to feel safe lots of love boy
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.