(no music) SKOOLS | Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1356 | 19th May 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen where you can safely close your eyes. I said that as I yawned and scratched my beard at the same time.

So yes, I can multitask. Thank you very much. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep number.

What number is it? I don't know. 1300 and 1100 1300. I have to check this.

Let me go to one of my podcasts. 1356. Blimey, that's a lot in it.

That's a lot. So yep. This is Monday's boring objects without an object to talk about.

Now what I thought I might do is if I look back on my Jason Newland's boring group on Facebook, there was a question that at the time of answering, I thought to myself, hmm, maybe that'd be a good subject to converse about on my Monday's boring objects. But I'm going to have to find the question. Okay, give me two seconds.

I do also have a YouTube channel, which is at Jason Newland. That's also my podcast. So every single recording I do goes on there.

The website has all of my well, it will do if I'm just in the middle of doing some playlists, but I've been I've been changing things trying to make it a bit better. But I've decided to be to it. There was a certain thing I was doing and it would take me forever.

So I decided not to do that. It just it seemed a bit pointless. I may go back and do it in the future.

But right now I'm just going to stick to what I've got planned. So I do have all of the recordings uploaded to the podcast, each individual podcast on the website, which will be on the website, when they are published, it's just going to take a little while to do that. Some quick look.

Oh, yeah, I also started a cult if anyone wants to join. And right, it might have been about the hypnosis and creative writing. Right, I was for that talking about how I started in hypnosis, but I've probably done that so many times.

I taught that one to to sleep, I think. And there's a few little things I probably haven't talked about. But let me just think.

Thinking of different jobs I've had, different places I've lived. Relationships, people. I wanted to talk about something that I haven't really mentioned before.

Something that's all kind of not surprise you, but maybe a little bit like, oh, you know, I mean, that is kind of a sound of surprise potentially. But just something where you're thinking, didn't know that about the juicy JJ man bloke person. I didn't know how old I was until I was seven.

How about that? I didn't know my date of birth till I was seven. That's a bit of a, that's more trivia, isn't it? It's more trivia Tuesday. It is Monday today, isn't it? Is it Monday? I think it is Monday, the 19th of May 2025.

One, two more weeks to the end of the month. It's the year, man. I mean, it's like we're nearly halfway through the year.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. How much fun it is to ride in a sleigh. Oh, one of my favourite hymns was, I talk about my, I talk about my high school.

So there's only two schools I really remember. I really remember. I've been in, I could just talk about schools in general.

Let's talk about schools in general. Okay. I have this memory of walking to school on the first day on my own.

And this is when I was, I don't know, five, four, five or something. That's when I lived in Newcastle. But I have another memory of another school.

It might be the same school. And it's really, it was freaky. It was one of those freaky moments.

And I, so I was in this school, behind the school gates, but the right side of the school, you know, inside the school, not inside the school, but inside the playground part, the front of the school. Although that might be in the back of the school. I don't think it's really relevant.

I think it was the front of the school. Or the side, it was either the side, the back or the front. And it definitely wasn't underground.

It was definitely on top of the ground. And I was standing there on my own, looking through the fence. And my memory is it was, it wasn't barbed wire or anything like that.

But it was these metal fence. Now, because I was so little, it probably looked really tall. It might have only been like five foot.

But in my memory, it was like 20 foot high. And so I'm looking through the fence at this lady. And she falls over.

A lock dies with her. But I'm not like lock dies. I mean, there was no locks involved.

But I looked at her. And she fell over. And I thought that I had caused her to fall over.

Which is kind of a weird thing. I believed that I had somehow made her fall over with my mind. Which was a weird thing to think I think at that age, or any age really.

And I don't remember too much about it. I think I might have gone back in school and told a teacher maybe or just gone in the hidden because I didn't want to get in trouble. That was a very strange memory.

Now, I don't know where that was. That might have been in Newcastle, might have been in Southend, it might, I don't know where it was. And then I remember there was another school, which was almost overlooking, sort of like a motorway.

But this was in Southend, I think, or Newcastle again. I think that was a different school. And I've got a very vague memory of just standing and looking.

I used to do a lot of looking back then. And just could see, it was very in inner city school, I would say. Or in, you know, around places.

It wasn't kind of, I'm sure there was like a motorway that you could see. That's one memory of it anyway. I don't, I remember walking to school through a, like down a bypass, kind of this, I don't know, it was a some kind of bridge that we'd walk down.

There was other kids as well, it wasn't just me. But walking to school, this would be in Newcastle. Again, I don't remember much of the actual school itself.

I don't know if you can hear Vinnie, he's being really fidgety. We've just been out, just got back. I took his food out of the fridge because he wasn't eating it.

I'm getting a little bit fed up with chucking it away. Because at the moment he's just eating dry food and he doesn't seem to want wet food at all. So I put it in the fridge, just brought it out and he's ignoring it.

And he's not ignoring it, like he's not calling to him, but he's just, I've got an itchy beard. I don't know why. I think it might be a heat rash or fleas.

So I remember this, vaguely remember that. But the first school that I really kind of have any, any set of memories for was when I was seven and I'd moved in with Papa and Papa's new wife. It sounds like a song title, doesn't it? And there was this school just up the road, well not just up the road, but it was, yeah, it wasn't far away from where the house was that we were living.

Because we were living with my dad's new wife's mother, that was her house. So we were living there for, I don't know how long, because we went to school, I guess in September. We moved there about in the summer, during the summer holidays from Southend.

Nazareth House in Southend. And went to school, I was seven, so I don't know what, we didn't have years back then, the way they do now. We do, but it wasn't, it's like first, second, fourth, fifth.

It wasn't like year 12, year 15, or whatever. Didn't have that back then. And I was only there probably for maybe one term, perhaps two terms.

And then we moved because the house we was in was, I think it was derelict. It was basically fallen apart. So they moved my step-mum's mum into a flat.

And we got a council house because we were overcrowded anyway. Not that I cared, I didn't, I was fine. I like living there.

So we, I mean, it's like, okay, living in a room with one other kid, or even two other kids, is better than living in a room with 12 other kids in my ceiling. That's how I kind of saw it. And then we moved to the house that my nan and grandad ended up living in for a long time.

Especially my nan lived in there for a long, long, long time. So we moved into this new build on this new council estate. And it was technically a three bedroom house.

The third bedroom was, some would argue, wasn't big enough to be like a, it was a very small bedroom. Some people might say it's just like a box room. Some people might just say, you know, there's lots of different things people can say.

I was happy there because that was my room. For the first time in my life, I had my own bedroom. It was glorious.

So I've talked about my Bruce Lee poster on the wall. And even though I didn't know who Bruce Lee was at that time, but I learned. Someone just sneezed, the loudest sneeze I've ever heard in my life.

So we went, I know this is about school. So we went to a different school, which was kind of, about 15 minute walk from there. So that was, okay.

So that was the second junior school I went to in that town. When it's kind of weird, I mean, we moved from one house that I really liked, to another house that I really liked. And, you know, it wasn't big enough for all of us really, plus another kid came along.

So in reality, we couldn't have stayed there. But I would have happily stayed there. Because, well, I had my own room.

That wasn't just the only reason. Because I ended up having my own room when we moved again. But it was just, I liked that house.

It was a lovely house. And I liked the school as well. I liked the other school.

My memories of the first school in that town that I went to, at seven, was, and I'd just turned seven, literally probably a week or two before going to school. And yes, it was just nice. I liked it.

I got into a little bit of trouble for stealing. And one of some, one of the, I think a girl who I liked, found the keys or managed, I don't know where she got the keys from, to the tuck shop and told me about it and invited me in to have a feast. And we got caught by the janitor after a few days of doing that.

And the police came into the school and got me to stand up and her to stand up and told us all off. Now, I assumed they hadn't told my parents because I didn't get told off at home. But in reality, they probably did, or the teachers did.

But because I'd only just moved there, they probably didn't feel they could really tell me off. I'd only been there for like a couple of months, living with them. Unless they did tell me off and I just laughed.

It's possible. I just didn't hear them. Didn't listen.

Yeah, I don't know. And then there's another time when there was this cupboard that had all like the toys in. So we were playing toys, Lego, these big Lego, I don't know Lego, but these big bricks, sticker bricks or whatever they were called.

And so I had all these toys on the floor. The teacher came out of this room where all the toys are stored and said, somebody has made a dent in the wall. Now, I remember even now, it was like a brick wall, big old bricks with paint, covered in paint.

But there was like a dent. And the teacher said, no one's going to lunch until we find out who did it. No one was owning up to it.

So I just said, I did it. Okay. And there's the teacher.

So he sent everyone to lunch, kept me behind. And the teacher said that, he said to me, okay then, new boy, show me how you did it. And I went in there and I thought, oh, now I'm on the spot.

It's really hard. It's, you know, something you're not prepared for to, if you, if you lie to get out of doing something that you've done, you can kind of be prepared in a way. But to lie about doing something you haven't done is a difficult, kind of very difficult, very difficult.

So I pretty much said, well, I did it with this. And it was like a Lego brick, plastic, like plastic Lego brick. That's how I did it.

And the teacher just laughed at me, said, show me how you did it. So I did this, like, yeah, that's how I did it. And I was rubbing this thing against the wall.

It's like the worst lie, not the worst lie, but it was, it's like trying to escape from a prison cell with a toothbrush or some candy floss, not candy floss, you know, tooth floss, whatever. It just, you could do it probably, but it would take forever, you know, to break through a wall, to even scratch the wall would take more than I pressured than I had available, you know, with my little seven-year-old body.

I mean, I was the size of a five-year-old.

And they said, did you really do it? I said, yeah. They said, you do realize after the stealing, this might mean you'll go to prison. I said, really? She said, no, not really.

I said, okay. But I'm not sure if I'd admitted that it wasn't me or not. The weird thing about it is I felt like it was me.

That's a strange thing. I felt like I'd done it. Weird.

So I got moved, so I got expelled from that school. No, I didn't get expelled. I don't think I did.

I left that school. And we went to this other school, which is around the corner from the new housing estate we moved to. So I was moving towards, I was probably, yeah, seven and a half at this point.

So unless, unless, I might have been eight. So maybe I'd had the whole year there. But I think it was, I might have had the whole year there.

So I went to this other school between eight and nine. And I liked that school. I liked that school even more than the first school.

Because, yeah, I wasn't at the other school long enough to make friends. So I might have only been there for one term. Because I did make friends at this, the next school.

Like good friends, like my best friend who was called Andrew. I had two, I had Ian and Andrew. Ian lived up the road and he was on the same estate as where I was living.

I went to school the same school, all the same age. Ian's birthday was the same date as mine, exactly the same date. And we were good friends.

We were best friends, in and out of each other's houses. We used to just spend all our times together really. And I was probably that period between living in that house, whatever period that was.

But I mean, you know, really, from a school, I was very whispery, whistly, loud, wasn't it? From a school perspective, from a school perspective, possibly that was my favourite time, you know, where both school and house, school and home, synchronisation was really good. Every aspect was good. And that was the only period really between the ages of eight and nine.

So I went to the school I liked, I had friends for the first time. Not for the first time, but for the first time where there was a degree of stability, because I'd stayed, I'd never been out of school for a whole year before. So I'd been there for over a year, I guess, because I'd do one term, a year and nearly two years, I suppose, if you think about it.

Because when I moved into the other house when I was seven, seven, maybe the beginning of the year, 1978. So I was, yeah, and then started at the other school. And I was there until I was nine.

And then I went, then we moved again, and I went to a different school again, another junior school. And I liked that school as well, to be fair. But yeah, I wasn't, wasn't enjoying the home life at that point then.

But as far as schools go, with, I'd say I probably liked that school better. The third junior school I went to during that period, I liked the school better. And I did make lots of friends because I was there for two years.

So I kind of had, you know, I kind of got to make more deeper friendships, I don't know, like closer friendships, maybe. Bit more stability in that sense. But the previous school, I just, it was just really nice because living on a council estate, it was a new build.

Pretty much all the kids of my age group that moved onto that council estate were going to the same school as me, so we could hang out with each other. And then we moved, and I lost all those friends. Even though I was living in a little town, there was, I think, three or, like there was at least three junior schools, probably a junior infant, it's kind of the same thing, I think.

You know, they went up to the age of 11, in high schools from 11 onwards. Yeah, that was a shame because it was the first time that I'd had any kind of stable schooling. And I'd been through quite a bit while I was there as well, because I had problems with my ears, partially deaf, had an operation.

And I liked the school, and I liked my friends. And I had a girlfriend as well, my first ever girlfriend was there. And so that was cool.

I say my first ever, I kind of had a girlfriend at the other school, but she kept getting me into trouble. So yeah, I think she got moved away. That was the one with the keys to the tuck shop.

Yeah, I had a girlfriend and we used to just chase each other and push each other over and stuff. Pull each other's hair, you know, that was that kind of, it was a very deep and loving friendship, a very, very, a lot of romance. I was eight.

But I did have my first ever date with her. I went to the cinema. I don't really remember what movies we went to see, because it was Saturday matinees, there was two movies.

One old, older one and one more newer one. I think I might have seen Spider-Man. The new spot, not the new Spider-Man now, but back then it was the new movie, new Spider-Man movie, which was about 1978.

I feel I need to check this up. 1978 Spider-Man movie. Yeah, it was 1978.

Oh, wait a minute. The film was that's weird. Spider-Man.

Let's have a look. Let me get this back. 1977 movie, Spider-Man.

For the first time, I loved it. And I remember going to watch it and on the, what was it? The undercard, well not the undercard, but the movie before was Sin Bad and the Eye of the Tiger, I think. Or it might have been.

No, I think it was that. I think it was. I love Spider-Man.

I'm not sure which came first, Spider-Man or Superman, as far as like the new movies that came out in the late 70s. It was so good. Loved, loved it.

I mean, back then, superheroes were a big thing on TV. I mean, they've been a big thing for forever really, but there was a real popular, popular thing. You know, that was on TV at the time.

So we had, we have the Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman, the Bionic Man, Kung Fu. I mean, Kung Fu was kind of like a superhero, but wasn't really, but kind of was more like real life superhero, you know, because he did Kung Fu. That's why he was called Kung Fu.

What other ones was there? Well, the Bionic Woman. I don't know when they started calling it. It was a $6 million man.

Then I'm sure they just started calling it the Bionic Man, eventually. And then Spider-Man, because Spider-Man was also a TV show as well. And I'm trying to think of other, and we used to have some of the older shows on as well, like some of the Superman shows, and a lot of the Lone Ranger, Ho Ho Silver, Rocket Man.

I'm trying to think of some of the others like, but these were in black and white. Dick Tracy, I know Dick Tracy technically wasn't a superhero, but he kind of was. And yeah, there's a lot, a lot on back then.

Probably missed out some really obvious ones. Shall I check? Because I'm sure this, I'm sure there's some that I've missed out. So superhero TV shows, I'm going to go online.

1970s. I don't want images, list of superhero television shows. Oh, okay, it's going right away back from 1949.

So the Lone Ranger, is that how old the Lone Ranger was? Flash Gordon, Flash Gordon. Still one of the greatest movies ever, in my opinion. One of the greatest, greatest soundtrack.

And but they, I used to watch the Flash Gordon TV show. And this was from like 1954, 55. But they used to show it on TV, like in the late 70s, early 80s.

Zorro, they used to show that on. The Invisible Man, they used to show that. Again, they were black and white, I think.

The Mighty Atom, I don't remember seeing that. Sounds good, though. I mean, superheroes, I'm just looking.

It's got stuff here that I can't. In Mr. Terrific, Captain Nice, I don't remember ever seeing those. They're from the 60s.

Kung Fu, yeah. See, I thought that was, I did think that was kind of like a superhero. Mirror Man.

Nope. The Six Million Dollar Man, 1973 to 78. The Tomorrow People, of course, 73 to 79.

They were superheroes, weren't they? That was an English thing. And they could do, I think, telepathy between each other and stuff. The Invisible Man again started Really? I thought The Invisible Man was in the 80s.

Maybe they just started another one. Because this is saying The Invisible Man was 1970. Invisible Man, 1975 to 1976.

Surely it's not the one with McCullum Producers. Why are they saying who's in it? They're not. It's started David McCullum, 1975 to 19... Wow, I didn't realize that.

I used to love that. So that was 75 to 76. They were still showing it.

They were showing repeats and stuff. So I used to watch that. The Bionic Woman, of course, I've already mentioned.

Man from Atlantis. Yep, superhero. That was Bobby Ewing.

So Man from Atlantis, another one. Huge show. Anyone that's old enough to remember that.

Huge. He was a pin-up. He was a pin-up for everyone, not just for adults, but for kids as well.

I used to have him on my wall because he was a superstar. He could breathe underwater. I mean, come on.

I kind of felt I was similar to him because I swam the way he did. Because I had no way of keeping above the water. So I just thought, you know what, I'll swim the way the Man from Atlantis does, which has gone very wiggly.

And I could go from one length to the other without going above the water. So I thought I was quite good. But I couldn't swim.

I used to bang into people as well. I remember once I did it and I banged into the side and banged my face because I couldn't see where I was going. Monkey, monkey.

So I remember Monkey, 1978 to 1980. I used to watch it on BBC2. I remember watching that in the house we moved into when I was nine.

Watched it on TV while I was stripping the wallpaper in the living room. So we just moved in. Buck Rogers in the 25th century.

He's a superhero, isn't he? He didn't have any powers though. So it just lets you see all the different superheroes we had during that period. And I'm going to miss some of these out.

Manimal, 1983. Now, I loved Manimal. And then I didn't.

So basically, it was my favourite show. It basically was a man that turned into an animal. Hence, Manimal.

That's a dog barking now. And it didn't go down very well with the audience. Apparently, it only got one series and that was it.

But I liked it a lot. But unfortunately, on the night that I was going to watch it, because I think I'd seen a few episodes, I got into trouble for something, over nothing really, but to do with my schoolwork. And I ended up getting a big lecture and my dad just had a tantrum on me over a broken ruler.

My ruler had a chip in it. He wouldn't know why there was a chip in my ruler. I don't mean a chip as in, you know, potato.

And I said, I don't know. And he just went on and on so. And then I went and sat in and I couldn't watch Manimal because I looked at it like, nah, it's spoilt.

I've never been able to watch it since. It's weird, isn't it? The A-Team, those superheroes weren't really, but didn't have powers. But then, quite a few superheroes don't have powers.

Batman doesn't have powers. Highway to Heaven, that's not a super, I mean, it's a brilliant show. I loved it.

I watched that from all the way from the beginning to the end, that one. I don't mean from the beginning of the episode to the end of the episode. But from 84 to 89, loved Highway to Heaven.

Why is the Incredible Hulk not been mentioned? Anyone? I've not mentioned the Hulk, have I? But it's not mentioned. No Hulk, which was possibly one of the biggest, biggest shows on TV at the time, late 70s. The Hulk? Nope, no Hulk on this list.

So it's not a complete list. How can they not mention the Hulk? Anyway, I mentioned the Hulk. Super Gran, that was like 85 to 87.

So that was funny. But it was a little bit, I watched it, but it was, you know, I was kind of coming to leave school and left school at that point. Yeah, why have they put Baywatch down? This is supposed to be superheroes.

And I've got this right. Independence. DC and Marvel.

List of television series based on DC Comics. Okay, let's look at that one. Adventures of Superman, Batman, Shazam.

So all these, these are the ones I was looking for. But these are in the 50s and 60s. Wonder Woman 75 to 79.

Superboy 88 to 92. Really? I don't remember ever seeing Superboy. Was it cartoon? For the Chinese reality singing contest, see Superboy TV series.

Okay. It's an American television series based on the fictional DC comic character Superman's early years, Superboy. The show ran from 88 to 92 in syndication.

It was renamed The Adventures of Superboy at the start of the third season. Although they sold the rights, the first being focused on Clark Kent. Really? I'd love to see that.

I didn't know there was a Superboy. Why did they never show that on TV in this country? I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. Shazam.

Again, that was 74 to 76. Never saw that. The Batman series.

I mean, who hasn't? I mean, maybe there are people that hasn't seen it. But the Batman shows 66 to 68. Some of the best television ever, in my opinion.

Loved it. The Flash 1990 to 91. So that was funny.

Lewis and Clark, The New Adventures of Superman. Now that was huge in this country. 93 to 97.

It used to be on on a Saturday evening, and it was one of the top rated shows in this country at that time. Huge viewership. And Lewis Lane, whatever her name was, she was absolutely like you couldn't, it's almost like you couldn't look at a newspaper without seeing her face on there.

Smallville. Now you know what? Here's a weird thing. I didn't even know what Smallville was about.

So it started in 2001. I came over it by accident in 2002. But it used to be on in a weird time, like on a Sunday afternoon, which is a strange time for something like a Superman show to be on.

And I did not know, I say probably 2003, sorry, not 2002, 2003. I didn't know it was about Superman. I saw Smallville and I thought, that sounds familiar.

And then I started watching it. I loved it. And I watched it every Sunday.

I didn't see it from the beginning all the way to the end, because it went on to 2011. I stopped watching it probably after a couple of years. And what, I mean, two things that amazed me about that, I mean, well not amazed me, is he, I was watching, what's that name for the devil, the TV show on Netflix? Oh, not Beelzebub.

Netflix devil TV show. Lucifer, Lucifer. Okay, so Lucifer.

There was this character in Lucifer, and I thought, he looks familiar. Where have I seen him before? And he was really good in the show. I'm like, I don't know who he is.

He was Superman. It was Smallville Superman, because he was, I think he literally was a kid. He was like a teenager when he started doing that show.

And it was so weird to see him all grown up, because I suppose he's in his 40s now, maybe even older, I don't know. Should we find out? Let's find out. Come on, let's find out.

Tom Welling, 48. The weird thing about it, he looks better now than he did then. Not that there's anything wrong with how he looked then, but he's just, maybe he's just grown into his face.

I don't know. He's, he just looks so, it just looks, it's weird. I don't know, what other things has he done? I don't know why they can't have a little bit of continuity and just let him be Superman as an adult.

But he didn't seem to want to. He's been in a few movies, been in a few TV shows. He was in Batwoman, played Clark Kent.

Really? Wow. But that was like eight years after Smallville finished. Oh, well.

Wait a minute. What's this one? Professionals. Professionals.

Okay, no. It's not the TV show that I used to love. But the point I was trying to make, if there was a point, I don't know.

Oh, I used to shave my head while I watched Smallville. So I had these clippers and I just used to do that. And I had, when I shaved my head, I didn't like, you know, rinse my hair off and everything, or rinse, rinse my scalp in the bath.

And then I would rub in this moisturizer into my scalp and just massage my scalp while I watched Smallville on TV. And not only did it, it just, it felt nice, but it smelt lovely. It's a really nice smell.

Yeah, I just remember doing that. I don't know why I remember that. That was 2003, Sundays.

This is when I was working in a call center selling car insurance. So maybe it was Spider-Man I went to on that date with. I didn't go on a date with Spider-Man, but I went on a date with a girl at school to see Spider-Man, I think.

I think I went to see Superman with my brother. Definitely went to see Superman 2 with my brother. Because I was dreaming about it the day before, or the night before.

I dreamt. Because we kept seeing, I dreamt, we kept seeing the adverts, you know, with all the super villains that were in Superman 3, Superman 2. And yeah, I just, I wanted to see that more than I wanted to see the first one. It excited me.

But then I also got excited about seeing the third one because Richard Pryor was in it. And at the time, Richard Pryor was, he was the biggest Hollywood actor at the time, because he'd done Stir Crazy, and he was doing his, you know, films with Gene Wilder, and he was a huge star. And this is before I even discovered his stand-up.

Generally didn't know he did stand-up. It's weird, isn't it? But then I was a little kid, so I didn't really, I knew what stand-up comedy was, because we had stand-up comedy on television. But it was a different, it definitely wasn't Richard Pryor.

Didn't have that kind of adult comedy on, that I got to see anyway. I remember I used to share, give this girl my chocolate. So if I'd have a, I'd have a, I'd have a packed lunch with sandwiches, packet of crisps, and maybe a chocolate bar, like a little chocolate bar, such as a penguin.

Now, I didn't like penguins. I don't know why, I just didn't like them. So I'd give them away, or try and swap with someone, if someone had a Kit Kat, or, you know, a different kind of thing.

And what I'd sometimes do is give away the penguin to someone, to this girl, to show her how much I loved her. Sometimes I'd pick flowers, I'd go up to her and say, and, there you go, and she said, they're stinging nettles, and I might chuck them on the floor. She said, why'd you chuck them on the floor? I said, because they were stinging me.

Oh, so you knew they were stinging nettles then, did you? Because she used to slur sometimes when she spoke. And I said, what? I couldn't understand you because you slurred. She said, so you knew that they were stinging nettles? I said, no, they were flowers, I thought.

But you said they were stinging your fingers. I said, yeah. I didn't know why.

But it makes sense now, if they sting, they're called stinging nettles, that makes sense. The name very much applies to the topic that we're conversing about. She said, what? I'm wondering if he's eating his dinner now.

He's eating his wet food. He started looking on the floor for dry bits of dry food, because sometimes I drop things on the floor when I'm putting them in my pocket. And he's been hunting around for them, and because he had no more, he's had to settle with the wet food.

Don't know if you can hear that slurping away. I'm not going to give him any attention. I'm not going to look at him or anything.

I think he's stopped. He might be looking at me. I think he did look up and then he's continued.

So I was at that school. Nothing particularly interesting occurred at that school that I can really remember. Other than there was one incident.

And this is really weird, but it's true. I had two incidents. There was this bully there.

Still remember his name. I won't say his name because I'm sure he's a good bloke. At that time, he was a bit of a ruffian and used to try and cause trouble.

And he picked on my friend who had one kidney or something. My friend who lived three doors up from where I lived. And he was making fun of him because he had a bag.

He had a bag thing. I didn't really understand it, but I knew that he was unwell and stuff. So this kid was making fun of him.

So I intervened and it didn't end well for him, to be fair. But it didn't seem to stop him from keep coming back. And then another time was outside in the field.

So at this point, my other brother, my one who was two years older was there as well, because I was eight and he was 10. So he was probably in the last year of that school. I still had a couple more left if I was going to stay there.

And this kid, I think his name is Mark, I think. I know what his name was, but it stayed with me for some reason. And I don't know if he... I think he grabbed my bag or something.

Or he might have walked up and just pushed me over. Something like that. I don't know.

And my brother, and this is totally true. It's not even made up because, well, I could make it up. I could say anything, couldn't I? But it really happened, which was quite impressive.

He shouted, oi. He might not have said oi, but he shouted something out. Leave him alone, leave my brother alone or whatever.

Something like that. And I think he, this kid shouted something back at him. Because there was quite a distance between them.

And my brother chucked this tennis ball, which he was playing with, with his friends or whatever, chucked it, and it landed right in his eye, not my brother's eye. He didn't just chuck it in the air and look up. He chucked it at this kid.

It landed in his eye. I was like, how can you... I mean, he had to have it surgically removed. No, he didn't.

It landed. How could you even, you couldn't even plan something like that. I was like, honestly, that was probably my, the time that I had most, I was pleased, very pleased with my brother.

And I didn't need him to look after me for that because I'd already dealt with him before and I could again. But it was just nice. It's quite nice, you know, when a brother does something like that.

And it's like such a good shot. Anyway, there was another time with my brother. Anyway, yeah, he did, he did, he did stand up for me a couple of times.

So I'll give him that. And so that school kind of left. The ironic thing about it, right? Here's the weird thing about it.

We moved to a different school, to a different house, away from that school. But because he was in the final year, so I started a new junior school at age nine, but my brother was 11. So he went to the high school, but he went to a different high school.

So both my brothers, my other brother was four years older than me. So he would have been in the second year of high school or third year of high school at this point. No.

Second year. No. This sounds weird.

I can't remember. Nine, 10, 11. So no, maybe my other brother still had one year left at that junior school.

Yeah, eight, nine, 10. I don't know. Anyway, I think he still had one year left there.

And then my other brother went to the high school. But anyhow, how it ended up, I went to a different junior school, another junior school that was miles away. So didn't have my friends anymore.

Made some new friends. Both my brothers went to a different high school to me. I mean, there was no reason for it.

Literally, they just went to a different... So I ended up going to a completely different high school, because I was at this different junior school for two years. And instead of just continuing to go to the school I was already at, which wouldn't have been hard to get to from where I was living. I mean, ironically, if that's the correct word, this junior school that I was going to before was literally, I don't know, a five minute walk from the high school that both my brothers ended up going to.

So they were allowed, it's all right for them to walk there, but I could have just as easily continued going to the junior school. In fact, I could have gone with them, couldn't I? I could have walked with them. And walking there wasn't an issue, because I was walking to school on my own anyway, at that age.

Long before that, yeah, I was walking to school at seven, not eight, yeah, eight years old, I was walking to school on my own. So it wasn't an issue. And even when I went to the other junior school, I was walking to about 50 minutes, 40 minutes to get there, and about two hours to get home, because I was very slow.

And that's something I noticed. When I was at that school, I used to walk around and just sing songs. And I went through a period when I thought I was a superhero.

And I thought that I could become invisible. I didn't always tell people that I thought I was invisible. I remember I decided to do it once during the court, the register call at school.

So we'd always go in the first part of the day, and then call out our name. Maybe they did it in assembly, I can't remember. And you have to shout out, yes, here, sir, whatever.

And I decided I'm going to make myself invisible. So I made myself invisible. And no one was looking at me.

So I thought, this is working. And then they called my name out, the teacher or the headmaster called my name out. And I thought, I'll just keep quiet, because no, it's no point me talking, because people won't be able to see me, they'll freak everyone out.

It's really weird, because they, everyone was looking at my seat, or where I would have been sitting. Because no one sat on the seat, I suppose they, they must have just, I don't know why they didn't sit on it, because there was no one there, because I was invisible. I would technically, I was there.

And the teacher kept saying, Jason Newland. Jason and people like that. Looking over in my direction, and I know they couldn't see me, because invisible.

Horace. Hi, Horace. Hi, mate.

You okay? Yeah. How you been? How's the kids? Well, I didn't want to talk. I bored him.

He's gone. I, I think it was his, one of his kids that got stuck inside here the other day, came in the back door, back door was lodged open for some reason. And he comes up trying to get in and out of the top part, where all the windows, can't get through the windows.

I used to think I could walk through walls. The best thing to, in those situations is, as long as you never test it, you can still believe it. Because there used to be this big wall, just right, it like had a gold painted on it.

And it was just a random wall, very strange. And I used to, believe I could walk through the wall. I believed it, but I never tested it.

I wonder why I never tested it. But I did, I used to just, and once I actually, I feel playing hide and seek, or we're playing soldiers. And I was in the grass, and I made myself invisible.

I thought I'd made myself invisible. And no one found me. I was there the whole weekend.

No, no one found me. It's like, wow, I didn't realize that people were just ignoring me. Did you ever, when you was a kid, did you ever turn up to school on a Saturday by accident, and wonder why you couldn't get in? That happened to me.

I mean, I woke up like, oh, I'm late. And I'm running to school to get there. And I'm wondering, oh, everyone's gone, because I didn't realize they were all still in bed.

There's no one here. Everyone's had their lunch. They're gone.

Their breakfast, rather, they're gone. So I'm rushing and get there. And then I realized it's Saturday.

I laughed. I've just, well, I waited until I caught my breath, and then I laughed. And I get home.

And at this point, people, the family, people, the family were having their breakfast, and I told them, and some of them laughed, some of them just looked at me, bewildered. I say bewildered, because that was a new word that I was trying out back then. I like to try a new word that I hadn't really used regularly.

And I thought, you know what? Because this was probably about 1980. But I thought, I've not used the word bewildered. I don't think I've ever used it.

I know what it means in the context of a sentence. But I don't think I've ever used it in a sentence, or in some kind of grammatical, conversational format. But then I forgot.

I forgot to use it. Until now, as you remembered. So, yeah, thinking about it, kind of feeling a bit bewildered, really.

So, I did like that school. There's a few things that I perhaps didn't like so much. That one of those things was they kept trying to teach me French.

Like, come on, are you kidding? What are you doing? I've never been, I've just, I, for some reason, speak in different languages, never really been something that I was particularly, I wasn't interested in, but I also didn't really understand. Now, I think part of the reason for that, other than lack of intelligence on my part, probably, is unlike the, my dad's generation, and my nan's generation, we didn't learn Latin.

And Latin is almost the root of so many of the European languages.

So you can almost, it's, I think, I'm just, this is just my, my interpretation. It is easier to learn another language when you know Latin. I mean, Latin is, I guess, another language, I suppose, but you can, you know, when it comes to French or German, you've got the Latin roots, so you can kind of get to know what things are, and it makes it a bit easier to connect together.

But at 10 years old, I was still learning English, and I still am. So I didn't really understand, and I didn't learn to read, really, until I taught myself, pretty much. I did go to school, but I was, what, five, six, six, probably, when I first got my first book.

First got my first book. That was pretty much my only possession, actually, that book. And I used to read it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

And then when I went to junior school, this particular junior school, the one I'm talking about, I'd read and read and read and read, take books home, bring them back, read, you know, I read everything. Every single book they had, pretty much, in their little library, I read. And yeah, loved it.

Loved reading. That was the only kind of mildly intelligent thing, flappy ears there. I won't say intelligent, but yeah, the only thing that I really had is the love of reading.

So I'm guessing there must have been some kind of brain activity going on inside my head. I don't know what or how much, but it was something going on. I loved to read.

I'd like to get that passion back because I've kind of lost it a little bit. And I do listen to audiobooks. But it's not the same.

And it can be that I mean, I wouldn't be saying that if I was seriously visually impaired. I am visually impaired, but not seriously. So I think I'd take offense if people said, oh, you're not reading because you're not actually seeing it with your eyes.

But the problem is, when I listen to an audiobook, I do have a tendency of falling asleep. And I wouldn't class that as reading a book. If I was reading a book, and every time I, the thing is, when you read a book, if you fall asleep reading a book, you're not on like page 42.

And then when you wake up, you're on page 93. You don't read while you're asleep, do you? But you can listen while you're asleep. Or the thing can still play.

You're not still turning the pages when you're asleep. And then like, oh, what's happened? I don't know. It's like I've just gone through 37 pages, and I don't know what's happened.

Nevermind. That's still classed as reading a book. It wouldn't be, would it? So I don't know when it comes to listening to audiobooks, whether that's classed the same as reading a book.

I like to think it is. But I don't know. I don't know.

And I'm not sure. And I have read, from an audiobook perspective, how many audiobooks have I got? Where's, I've got 389 titles in my, in my catalogue. I've read more than that, because you get some free.

So I've read quite a few that were free, but recently, I've had to go and go in to read them, and then take them off. But I got 389, 383 in my library. All, is that all? 389 all, but 383 titles.

I couldn't even tell you. Blimey. The thing is, a lot of it is not, not storybooks.

Most of it is kind of self-help. You know, the art of war, and philosophy, psychology. I do have the Beatrix Potter collection.

As a man, think of the men who stare at goats, essentials of social psychology, the power of habit, breaking a habit of being yourself, breaking the habit of, breaking the habit, the habit of being yourself. Okay. Influence new and expanded artificial, artificial intelligence for dummies, borderline personality disorder, never finished, the 80-20 principle, chat GPT, mastery, 12 books in one, understanding disorders of the brain, then you've got goals by Zig Ziglar, the Jim paradox, chimp paradox, Stephen Peters, the crowd, a study of psychology, and your success habits, the law of success, Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, the strange, the strangest secret for success.

And then you got this, my voice will go with you by Sidney Rosen, as a hypnosis one, the therapist guide to EDMR, EMDR rather, the coach to be disliked, the complex, borderline personality disorder, psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. And then you got real or imagined, outsmart your pain, the 10x mentor, that's Grant Cardone, the 10x rule, seven power principles for success, hypnosis about trance by James Tripp, the essence of success by Earl Nightingale, the direct line by Earl Nightingale, great ideas by Earl Nightingale, the magic of thinking big.

So quite a few of these I've read in the past, but these are audio versions.

Napoleon Hill's golden rules by Napoleon Hill, NLP, the essential guide. I'm pretty sure I listened to that audio book, or that it was an audio recording back in 98, blimey. Hypnosis as number one, understanding or the start here, advanced hypnotherapy, Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig, Joy of Meditation by Sally Merrill Bedfield, I think her name is.

That's the recording that I listened to back in 2000. In 2000, I listened to that recording, I found it. And I've got it saved on here.

I think I purchased it, it was like two quid or something, I think, but love that recording. And you got the quantum revelation, the quantum rules. I forgot about it, I was really into quantum, wasn't I? Quantum stuff for a couple of weeks, and I seem to have, I don't know, seem to have moved away from it.

I'm really interested in all that stuff. So you got Deepak Chopra, the quantum doctor, the power of your subconscious, quantum entanglement, quantum physics simplified, Reality is Plastic, that's a hypnosis book, quantum physics, The Mountain is You, Think and Grow Rich, The Pain Habit, Story of an Early Nightingale, that's quite a recent one, Think and Grow Rich, The Secret, Million Dollar Weekend, Money, The Ultimate Bob Proctor Library, I'm Worth, I've had that for years, that one, I'm Worth More by Bob Moore, Before and Laughter, that's Jimmy Carr, Napoleon Hill, The Road to Riches, Napoleon Hill's Master Course,

The Way Out, 21 Secrets of Success by Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian Tracy, You are a Badass at Making Money, clearly not, The Ultimate Napoleon Hill, Napoleon Hill's Keys to Positivity, The Power of Ambition, which is what I was listening to earlier today. It's only three minutes left for that one.

And Beatrix Potter Collection, which I just accidentally clicked on earlier. That's just some of the ones that I've listened to. Wow, quite a few.

So then that was the junior school. But then what happened is, I played the violin in junior school. So that was pretty good.

I also learned to swim. But technically, I still, I had swimming lessons. Put it this way, I'm better at swimming than I was before.

Because when I was, I had a bit of an accident in the swimming pool. Not, not that kind of accident. Just, yeah.

I was saved by the lifeguard. So after that, and that was when I was very little, probably about four. So, or maybe five.

So I didn't like water, I didn't like swimming pools or anything. And the swimming instructor, we actually had a swimming pool in this school, which is pretty amazing. And the, the swim, I had swimming lessons for quite a while.

And he was so patient with me. Absolutely lovely. And the good thing about it is, I got to swim.

But without having anyone else around, I mean, there's a couple other people having lessons. But what I found is when everyone got into this, to the swimming pool together, they'd all be jumping on top of each other. And that was not good for me, because I just didn't feel safe.

You know, I didn't feel comfortable with that. And I also had, yeah, I had violin lessons. So I went, learned the violin for probably about a year, maybe a little, maybe longer than a year.

I was at that school for two years. So playing the violin for maybe a year and a half. Maybe two years, I don't know.

I think it was at least over a year anyway. And then I went to high school when I was 11. Just turned 11 in 1981.

Yeah, 1981 in September. That's when I went to high school. And yeah, that was a whole new story.

That was, that was weird. Remember, we went there for the afternoon, probably a few months before going there properly, just to kind of have a tour of the place. And it was huge.

And I was tiny. I mean, you just take off two years, and that's the kind of size I was. So I was 11.

So I looked about the size of a nine year old. Absolutely tiny. And apart from the fact I was also one of the youngest there as well, because I had to be 11 to be in the first year of high school.

But some of the kids after being there for a few weeks, a couple of weeks, two, three weeks, were turning 12. So a lot of the kids were nearly a year older than me. And that really showed later on in school.

So when, like at 13, when I was 12, and they were 13, there was a lot of size difference. There's some kids that had beards and, you know, they were grown, like almost like adults, and I was still a kid. And that was weird.

And yeah, I mean, that's a different as a whole new conversation that high school, but I remember just looking around thinking, wow, I got lost. I got lost all the way for five years, I would get lost in that place. Honestly, I had to, I needed help to navigate to know where, because we have a roster, you know, what, what classes we had to go to, and where we needed to be next.

And I needed help. I couldn't find my way around. The whole time I was there.

It's just I didn't know what classes, what number classes they were. And then there's one, I had a different form room, which was like where we'd go in the morning, and we'd then go back at the end of the day, to sign in kind of sign out kind of. And we could go there during breaks.

So that I used to just stay there during a break sometimes, because I thought I was worried that I wouldn't get back in time for lunch, or after lunch, we had to go back there as well. I think. Yeah.

Anyway, that, I think that school deserves a boring recording on its own. But there was good, I liked all of the junior schools, the three junior schools, I remember, I liked all of them. I liked the second one more than the first one.

Because I made some new friends. And the at that time, the home, the home situation was as good as the school situation was just really nice. Everything was nice.

So that was my favorite. That was my favorite time during childhood, really around the age of eight, between eight and nine, or between seven and nine, really. And because we was also, even I was in the other school and everything.

So that period of time, those two years. But between eight and nine, it was like, I'm not saying it's like a Disney movie, but it wasn't like a Disney movie, but it was not I liked it. It was everything was very simple.

You know, we lived in a new house, nothing needed to be done. Everything was good. We had snow.

I built an iceberg, not an iceberg, an igloo. You know, it was good. We used to hang around all the other kids that were local.

We used to go into the fields and jump out of trees, climb trees, things like that. I used to get pushed out of trees. It was fun.

And we used to climb into trees to get away from the other kids. It was good fun. So then, then we moved.

It was weird because my nan and gran had moved in straight away to that house from London. And we moved into a bigger house because of the family growing. So I'd be back and forward to that house constantly.

So for a short while, I would keep contact with my friends, Ian and Andrew. Ian was my bestest friend. Andrew was another good friend that lived a few doors up.

Andrew lived just around the corner. Literally, it's like a minute's walk. But as time went by, I wasn't at school with him anymore.

And I kind of lost contact with him. But for some reason, I kept contact with Andrew because he lived literally two, three doors up. I used to see him or see his mum and dad, and they were friends with my nan and grandad.

So I kind of kept in contact with him into my early 20s. I still used to visit him in my early 20s, which bearing in mind, I moved out of that place when I was nine. So I was 19.

So yeah, over probably 13, 14 years. But I lost contact with Ian, and he was my bestest friend. And he was on the same date of birth as me.

But my nan used to tell me stuff, because she kind of knew what was going on around. And she'd sort of update me on how he was doing. Even in my 30s, she'd start to tell, oh yeah, he's got married or whatever.

And she'd just keep up to date with some of the kids that are now like fully grown adults, what they're up to. But it's weird because I don't know why we kind of didn't keep in touch. Maybe it's just a bit harder, you know.

But it was so close, me and him, really close. And then I got my new best friend, Dean, in junior school, the last two years of junior school, and most of the way through high school. In the last year of high school, we became a little bit estranged.

You know, I think it was, yeah, we didn't get on so well. But all the years previous to that, we were inseparable. Yes, yeah.

So that was... I also had another friend called Ian, no, no, Ivan, who lived around the corner, used to come to my house. And another friend, Neil. So it was really, I had three friends that were known by my family, that were welcome in the house to come visit.

And you know, they'd just like go upstairs, he's upstairs, so they'd just come up. So I had three, three friends. And that's the only friends I had that... I'm pretty sure they would just walk in the back, to be fair.

I don't think they'd even knock on the front door, walk in the back and knock on the back door. Or shout up at my bedroom, standing all in their little alleyway. Oi, Juicy, are you there? One of them did sound like a, like a pirate.

And that was Ian. No, not Ian, Ivan. So they were cool.

I had other friends, but I didn't, I used to go around people's houses and get banned from, wasn't allowed to go around anymore. Never allowed to go into, well, not allowed to go into, but Dean's dad didn't like me. So it was always like, wait on the doorstep, I'll go and get him.

And he let, I went in once, but he did live in an old people's home. Like he was, that was the family business. So I didn't care about that.

But I don't think, his dad just didn't, he didn't, didn't take to me. And, but my, my parents let it, literally Dean would just come in and just go upstairs. He was in some ways, I think, part of the family really.

Yeah, we were always together. And then Neil was a bit like that as well. Neil just used to come round and he'd come up.

And the same with Ivan. But they were the only three really that I used to have come around regularly to my house. And I'd go around Ivan's, but I didn't used to hang around in his house, but I used to wait for him.

And his mum was lovely. He used to talk to his mum. And it is, yeah, Ivan's mum was lovely.

He had two older brothers, I think, that were into motorbikes, but he was a good bloke. He was a good lad and that his brothers were nice and his mum was absolutely lovely, so friendly. And so he was welcome in my house as well.

But I didn't used to spend too much time in his house. I used to be just like waiting for him, we'd go out. And then Ian, so I wasn't allowed really into Dean's house.

But Neil, I don't know why, but his parents liked me. They just welcomed me. I don't think they liked me, they just put up with me, they tolerated me.

And they'd let me in, always, always let me in. I'd stay over, we'd go in the garden, we'd cause trouble and they just kept letting me, they'd just let me in. And they were lovely, both of them, both the father and the mother, both lovely.

And when I got, when I moved into the chip shop flat, above the flat when I was 16, they gave me stuff for the flat. Like a, you know, toaster, cutlery, stuff like that. It's lovely.

And this is after some of the weird stuff I got up to in their house. I mean, once I got drunk, we all got drunk, but I got particularly drunk. And for some reason, we thought it would be a funny thing to, I think I was about 15, 14, maybe.

And we thought it'd be funny to, cause we had like a half day, I think it was a school teacher's strike or something like that. And we went round to, me, Dean and Neil were there in Neil's house. We thought let's, let's raid the alcohol cupboard.

So we were drinking out of pint glasses and just mixing everything. Really silly idea to do, very, very dangerous as well. So I would never do that now.

But I did on that occasion. And I don't, the other two got drunk, but not like I got. And they thought it'd be a funny idea to take me up to their mum and dad's, his mum and dad's bed and wrap me in the duvet, like a sausage roll.

Okay, wrap me in the duvet. And that was not a good idea, because as I kept saying to them, I need to get to the bathroom. So I won't really go into what happens next.

But I made a real mess of the bed, the bedding, the, the, the house really. I mean, I was, because I was ill, I was very drunk. I completely destroyed the house.

And then I left. They thought it was hilarious. Not the parents, I never saw the parents reaction, because they weren't there, they were at work.

I left and did my paper round. And then I went home, went to bed. And then I got up about half six.

And my, I was, it was dinnertime. And I had boiled eggs. That was my dinner.

I did not want eggs. Eggs was the one thing I probably out of the whole world of food I did not want to eat. And I had a headache.

And Tucker's Luck was on TV. So I can guess, get the actual year from Tucker's Luck, Tucker's Luck. used to be on BBC two, Tucker's Luck.

BBC two shows used to be on a Tuesday, BBC two. Tucker's Luck is 83 to 85. Tucker's Luck was on.

So I wonder if it tells me, okay, series three went on to 22nd of October 1985. So I would have been just turned 15 at that point. So I reckon it was probably a little bit before that.

So when I was about 14. And he used to be on 13th of March. I wonder if it's gonna bug me now.

I'm sure it's a Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't know why. But I just have this feeling.

Oh my goodness. Wow. 13th of March.

Okay. And this was this is the second series of Tucker's Luck. Tucker's Luck second series episode one.

So it might have been anyway, it was the same day of the week. So it might be a different episode. But it was a Tuesday.

In fact, let's have a look at the 10th of 10th of March see whether or not that's 1983. So let's just look at this one. That was a Thursday.

So that was a very first series. And the third series. For some reason, the date's not coming up.

Oh, yeah, is that was a Tuesday. So the first and the second and third series was on a Tuesday. First series was on a Wednesday.

Thursday rather. So I'm pretty certain it would have been 84. Wow.

So I was 14. Probably. For 1314 14 probably.

And they were still lovely to me. Like, just found I'm sure they didn't find it funny. But it was one of those things that just, for some reason, they were just nice.

And I did get banned from some of the people like friends from school, I'd go around their houses, and get told I wasn't allowed to go back. Because I don't know, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, whatever. And I mean, there's this one kid and he had this big pile of mud and decided he wanted to wrestle.

So I kept climbing onto the pile and jumping onto him. And his mum didn't like it. Apparently, I was I was getting too excited.

Like, I should rephrase that I was getting excited. Yeah, I was like getting pumped up. And I was perhaps being a bit too over the top, maybe too.

Maybe it seemed like I was being aggressive or whatever. But I was just like, running up and jumping. And, you know, I didn't have a sword or anything.

But I was I definitely thought I was a Viking. I think at the time. I was going through a little Viking phrase, phrase, phrase, phrase.

There was another tea. Yeah, I remember went around another kid's house and wasn't allowed to go back there again. My favourite place, the favourite place I ever went to was this girl's.

I really liked her. I was hoping that she was going to be my girlfriend and she invited me to a birthday party and it was the first birthday party. Probably the only birthday party I was ever invited to as a kid.

Not that I've really been invited to many as an adult either, really. But that was the first one, first and only one. And I was in this, her dad was like a vicar.

So it was in this, not monastery, but vicarage, I said, huge house, huge house. And I went to a birthday party. And I was probably in the first year, probably the first year of high school, I'd say, I think.

And I loved her. Okay. And she took me aside and said, uh, just two things.

I said, yeah, can you stop moving through my underwear drawer, please? And I said, okay, what's the second thing? She said, uh, I'm moving. I said, just because of the underwear, I was just, I was looking for some binoculars. She said, why? Why? This is a weird, I can't even bother to, why would my binoculars be in your underwear drawer? I said, that's where I keep mine.

Okay. Um, so I, I didn't, I wasn't looking for, I did do that as an older age. Yeah.

I got kicked out of a few people's houses for that as well. That was enough of my dating history in my twenties. So I, yeah, so I just basically, she takes me aside and said, I've got some news.

I said, okay. I thought, weird. She said, uh, I'm moving away.

I said, what do you mean? She said, well, cause this is just at the end of school, the, the school break. And she said, I'm not coming back to school again. I'm moving.

My, my parents are moving to a different district. There's going to be a vicar of a different place, the other side of the country. And she seemed generally, genuinely concerned for my welfare, for my wellbeing.

So I think she might like me a bit. I know it's very, both very young. We were like 11, 12 or whatever, but just like, it was so nice.

The fact that she invited me to a birthday party and also that she told me that she was moving away and she seemed to care that she was moving away. And I said, well, we can still keep in touch. She said, no, I don't really want to.

I said, okay. That's to be fair. I think that's support the moment it did.

And I think her trying to push me out of a window didn't help either, but I just, yeah. But before that it was romantic, well not romantic, but it was kind of nice. Yeah.

There was a bit of a problem with the toilet lid. And when I got back to school, after the holiday, the school holidays, there was a few other kids that were at that party. I want to keep going on about, it was about the blocked toilet.

And whenever they mentioned blocked toilets for the next four years of school, everyone would look at me. Even if the toilet, you know, someone mentioned blocked toilets in a different classroom where I wasn't even there. Everyone would walk from that classroom to the other side of the school and look in the door and look at me.

Some people would go out the front or out the side, look through the window and look at me and then walk off. It was very strange, strange environment. I had nothing to do with the blocked toilet.

Okay. Maybe I did. I think sometimes blocked toilets just, it's just natural.

Sometimes, I mean, I don't think they're not suited for all sizes, are they? You know, sometimes you just need a wider, I was going to say a bigger mouth, but that's probably not the right term for a toilet, is it? A bigger, it's, you know, it's like when you're hungry, it'd be nicer if we had a bigger hole to put the food in when we were like really, really hungry.

Mind you, I suppose we are supposed to chew, aren't we? Technically. Right.

I've talked for much longer than I expected because this was supposed to be, not supposed to be, but I was hoping to eat, to get some food a little bit earlier than this, because it's now nearly half past eight. So I've been talking for well over an hour, probably over an hour and a half, I think, maybe even longer than that. And I still didn't manage to cover all the schools.

So this is, this is Monday's Boring Objects, schools, junior schools. So that's it, that's the end of this recording. It's, I hope it's been as exciting for you as it, as it was for me.

So please remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. And remember to be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.