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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Yeah! Sleep! Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Oh, I've got an itchy chest.
Well, I haven't done a recording for a little while. Oh, should I tell you all about it? Should I? Should I? Yeah! Why not? Well, well, well. I'll read a few messages first.
Where are they? Yeah, a couple of messages today. One was, hey Jason, this is from my website, sent to me. So, hey Jason, you okay? Love listening to your crazy stories, but you seem to have gone quiet past couple of days.
Just checking you're okay. And another one. From Sandy, says, hi Jason, love listening to your crazy stories.
I'm a dog grotted at Newcastle. And I have lots of anxiety just lately, but you always manage to cheer me up. Just checking you're okay has seemed to have gone quiet past couple of days.
Hi Sandy. Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better than I did. I wasn't feeling great.
But I'm feeling a bit better. Thank you. Another one from A.K. I just wanted to thank you for helping me through and continuing to help me through a really bad time.
Alison. Thank you, Alison. I think that's all the messages.
Actually, it's not all the messages I've got. I've got messages on YouTube as well. Let me read you the messages on YouTube.
YouTube studio. Studio, studio. Okay.
This is from VK. I can see the appeal of a video, especially when it looks like your head is floating on air. Oh dear.
I actually did. I did the video in a black background. And I was wearing a black top.
So it really did look like my head was floating. I actually have strings of my head to keep it up. It's too heavy for my body.
My neck can't take it. Riley says, Jason, thank you so much for going back on video. It is really good to see your face in these crazy times after a while.
Even if this is a one time thing, I'm so happy. Thank you, Riley. And I've got one from another one from VK.
OMG, I'm listening to you. November the 5th at 2am. I'm forcing myself to go to bed.
I'm afraid to sleep. I hope to wake up to a new president. Oh cool.
Well, I've just heard that there is in fact a new president. Mr. Biden has won. He is the president-elect.
Just heard it on the news. And it is Sunday, November 8th. Early hours.
2.36am. There we go. Really? What are you doing? Okay. So.
I'm trying to get my font. Okay. KA Fan says thank you for sharing your life experiences.
It was interesting to hear someone else back then who knew he needed a change. And yes, even though when you are in those moments of panic and hopelessness, they feel like they won't go away. And they feel like they won't go away.
Remembering they do every time, if you ride them out, helps a great deal. Identifying them as they come on also takes away some of their power. I sympathize with the meditation retreat.
That is why I don't really take vacations away. If they turn out not to be the restful and calming things as advertised, it hurts even more sometimes. Or makes the disillusion with everything even more pronounced.
I also did a blockbuster phase and have a huge movie collection. Thank you for one person who knew something had to change and wanted things to get better. And realized they weren't at the moment, but didn't want to end it to another.
I've listened and watched your videos for years. Again, my appreciation for putting it out there. Thank you, KA.
This is for number 90. Relaxation, hypnosis, distress, anxiety, panic attacks, hopelessness. That was a while back, that video.
But the message was from two days ago. Debbie says, awesome. Jason, so much respect and gratitude for all you do.
Robin says, glad you're back. Thank you. This is the video.Me putting the video back, making a video again. Usually I share the podcast with YouTube. But actually making a video is something I've been doing for quite some time.
Sorinable says, great to see you again. Thank you. Boston Chica says, yay, more vlogs please.
Mike French says, the word doesn't need a hero, it needs a professional. Welcome back. Thank you.
I'm still not sure what to make of that message. The word doesn't need a hero, it needs a professional. I want to be a hero.
There's a hero, if you look inside your heart. We don't need another hero. Kurzy Animal says, I used to enjoy the old videos when you laid in bed talking.
The problem with that is, I fall asleep. And then I snore. Blimey, do I snore.
Sam says, brilliant video, thank you. I've been a fan for many years now. Even since the old accounts.
Hope you have a good day, buddy. Thank you, Sam. Vanessa says, hello Jason and Andre, hope you are both doing well.
Much love sent from Canada. Thank you, Vanessa. And then she sends another one saying, I heard my name.
Hi, Jason. VK says, I've been listening for a while and I apologise for not donating sooner. With the advent of you taking the adverts off, I thought I needed to do my part.
So I sent you a PayPal donation. Thank you for entertaining me. On that note, I have taken the adverts off again.
Yeah. Getting back to basics. Vanessa said three weeks ago, you talk, we listen, you laugh, we laugh, and then we sleep.
Love you. Oh, thank you. I think I've read some of these others out already.
Oh, this is one. Rahul says, I love you bro. Love from India.
I got very nice sleep yesterday night. Thanks bro. I subscribed.
Thank you. Rahul. Sebastian Brink says, this worked.
I think that's it. There's a few others, but I kind of covered most of them. I think that's all of the messages.
There may be others. Where else would they be? No, I think that's it. Oh, no.
Of course. Of course. I forgot about Facebook.
Molly says to me, hope you're okay. Doing okay through lockdown and all, Jay. Thinking of you.
So thanks, Molly. I said, that's been not been too well lately. And she said, Molly says, you'll feel better soon.
This will get better. Try to remember how great you are and how you've helped so many people. Are you able to get deliveries again? Big hugs and kisses to you.
Thanks, Molly. Well, the question about deliveries. I did have a delivery for tomorrow morning.
Well, this morning, actually, at 6.30. It's the only one I could book. But I had to cancel it because I didn't have enough money in my bank to cover the cost. Because somebody that owed me money didn't pay it.
The deal was that they would pay that money into my account Friday. So it was in there. And then I was, you know, then I could, because I'd already booked the slot.
And then I could get that. But they didn't, they didn't come through. So I had to cancel it.
So hopefully I'll be able to get a slot next week. But I don't know. In fact, I need to look into it now, actually, tonight.
Hopefully get a slot Wednesday or Thursday, if I can. But I don't know with the lockdown. I don't know how, how scarce they're going to be now.
April says, Hey, Jason, you wouldn't happen to be awake, right? Oh, right now, would you? Whoops. So I'm just going to, sorry. Just seeing your message.
I hope you're okay. Okay. So that was April.
So April, hi. Sorry about that. I think I might have seen it when I was like half asleep earlier.
And Rachel said, maybe you could start cooking with Andre YouTube channel. No. No.
Too much work. And mess. Yeah, I think I do enough.
I think, well, I haven't done anything really for a few days. But generally, it's, I think if I could keep Andre in one place, it'd be a lot of fun. You know, if he just stayed on the counter.
And I, you know, and he was like playing with all the different things. He gets bored and he'll just rush off and do something else. You're live on my recording.
I'm just letting Rachel know she's live right now. She's live on my recording right now. Vanessa.
Okay. Okay. So I've read everything now.
So all of. Okay. A meditation class outdoors, of course.
No outdoors where? Oh, I'm confused now. I'm not going to do a meditation class. Outdoors where, you know, with her.
I do it online. These people, Andre, do you want to give me cuddles? Here we go. Andre's up.
You're right. Give me kisses. You're a baby boy.
You're a baby boy. I had. Landed on my hand.
What I thought was. I don't know. Almost like a flea, but not a flea.
Kind of something. I didn't know what it was. And I thought, oh, please don't tell me that Andre's got lice.
Yeah. Like a lice thing. So.
I searched through his hair, through his whole body. Nothing. He hasn't got any lice on him.
He hasn't got any fleas. Not a sausage. He's got a little sausage, but it's hidden.
Yeah, that is wrong, isn't it? I should stop saying stuff like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
He's been a good boy most of the time. Although he did annoy me earlier. Because he.
It's almost like he tries to trip me up. On purpose, he tries to trip me up. And.
It's annoying. But usually I can kind of deal with it. And I, you know, can turn it into a game.
Which is all it is for him. He's playing. He's not trying to hurt me.
But earlier on, he got right under my feet. And I trod on him. And I nearly fell over.
I just, I showered him. And he hid behind the kitchen. With the cooker.
He actually hid behind it. So I think I might have upset him a little bit. So.
I got him out. I said sorry. Give him the cuddles and kisses.
Just the other way around. I mean, I'm heavy. Compared to him.
Everything's heavy compared to him. He's only little. And.
I've trod on him loads of times. But if I actually did fall on him. Or, you know.
He don't stand much chance. He's got a very bendy, bendy body. And spine and stuff.
You know. If anything happened to him. That would just.
Wow. I don't even have to say the words. We all.
We all love our little boys and girls. Don't we? Whether it's a. Whether it's human. Or whether it's a. A cat.
Dog. Ferret. Rat.
Parrot. Snake. Whatever.
We love. You know. We all love them.
Don't we? I just happen to have a little. Ferret. If it was a cat.
Or a dog. Or a donkey. I'm sure I'd love.
Love you just as much. Wouldn't I Andre? Yeah. And to be fair.
If it was a cat. Or a dog. I'd be.
Probably a lot more affectionate. Although you are being affectionate now. Aren't you? He has his moments.
Where he just. Almost like he doesn't like me. You know.
He just wants to get away. away from me. And that's.
What's that about? And then other times. When he just. He's just.
All over me. I think I fall in love with him. Every day.
I do. There's just a little bit. Oh.
There's times. When I just. Like right now.
He's cuddled in my arms. I'm looking down at him. He's got his eyes half closed.
And he's just. He's just looking at me. He's yawning now.
And I'm tickling. Underneath his chin. Because he's put his.
Chin up. For me to do it. That's what he wants me to do.
Isn't it? Daddy kisses. You are beautiful. You really are.
You want to get down? Okay. Go on. Get down.
I started doing some weights today. Specifically for my lower back. Because.
You know. The. The pain in my lower back.
And the restrictions I've been getting. The restrictions? Yeah. The feelings.
The feeling restricted. The. Pain when I walk.
And that stuff. It's starting to get to me a little bit. I'm usually able to laugh stuff off like that.
But. Yeah. It's.
I suppose it's the underlying worry. Of like. It's weird.
I'm just moaning now. Stop moaning. You're supposed to be cheering us up.
You monkey. Dance for us. That was me.
I don't care who knows. It was me. So.
Yeah. The financial thing annoyed me a little bit. I was.
But there you go. That's. That's that done.
I'm not really going to go into details for that. Because. When it's to do with human beings.
That I'm actually in contact with. I try and. Keep that stuff to a minimum.
I don't really talk about that stuff on here. Because. It's.
I suppose personal. Isn't it? I don't. Discuss it.
Things didn't go to plan. But. I mean.
On Monday. No. The 1st of November.
I didn't have any money. In my account. To pay for any of my bills.
Because. Another bit of money. That's supposed to go in.
Didn't go in on time. So. It's been a week.
Of money. Not going in. When it should have done.
So. My electric bill. My.
What is it? The council tax. Television license. Internet.
Telephone. iPad. What else? I also had a bill.
For the. Water. And the catalogue as well.
So. All in all. Yeah.
That's a couple of hundred pounds worth of stuff. To go out. And the money.
Didn't come in. Eventually. I got it.
So. I ended up. Phoning up.
The companies. And saying. Look.
Please don't send me. Threatening letters. Out.
You know. The money. I will be paying it.
As soon as I get it through. It will pay. You know.
The 1st thing I'll do. Is pay off the debts. The bills.
You know. Monthly bills. Luckily.
The TV license. Automatically. Just takes.
Double the amount. Next month. Which is good.
So. I ain't got to worry about that. I did research it though.
I had to go online. To find that out. To check up my account.
The. Internet. Telephone.
And iPad. They. Said.
They give me 10 days. Automatically. From.
When the bill is due. In order to pay it again. But they said.
It needs to be in 3 days. Before. So.
The 10th. Being. What is it today? The 8th.
Yeah. The 8th. Yeah.
It says the 8th. Today. The 10th.
Being. Tuesday. Has to be in 3 days.
Before. Which would. Be.
Well. It's a weekend. So.
It would have to be the Friday. So. I promised them.
It would be in. I did manage to do that. Which is good.
So. The money did come in by Friday. For that one.
And then. I also paid the catalogue. As well.
On the Friday. When the money came in. Well.
It might be the Thursday. I'm not sure. I think it was probably Thursday.
It came in. So. I paid all that stuff off.
And then the war bill came in. It's like. Oh.
Great. Wonderful. And I was trying to deal with this.
This lady on the phone. With the electric company. Because.
They tried to take. £55. Out of my account.
On the 1st of November. I have. A credit.
Of £82. A credit of £82. So.
My question is. Why are you trying to take £55. Out of my account.
When I have a credit of £82. In. Already.
And. The lady on the phone. Was confused.
And I said. Well. I need to cancel the tariff.
Put it back to how it was. Because I'd started a new tariff. You know.
Hoping to save a bit of money. Monthly. So.
And. Go back to paying monthly. And.
Cancel the direct debit. Now. I could almost.
Hear. Bubbles. Inside her head.
As I was trying to explain it. It. Seemed to really confuse her.
And I was trying to explain it. Nicely. I was being really nice.
And she said. We can't do that. I said.
We can do that. And. She said.
We've got to pay £55. I said. No.
There's £82 in credit. Can you check? You can see in front of you. Please help me out here.
And. She said. Oh yeah.
And. Then she's talking to me. Taking all the information.
And said. Oh. What I'll do is.
I'll speak to my colleague. And. She will.
Change. Do everything that you want her to do. So.
I'm waiting on the phone. For about. 10 minutes.
And she. Eventually. A new voice.
Is on the phone. And I said. Hi.
She said. Hi. I said.
I said. And she said. How can I help you? I said.
What do you mean? Is your colleague. Not told you. Why I'm calling? She said.
No. It didn't say anything. Just said what your name was.
So. I had to go through all again. Now.
This is one of my little pet peeves. Because I've worked. In.
A call centre. Well. A few call centres.
And one of the things. That I really. Made.
Did my best. Was to make sure. That the customer.
That came through to me. Who. When I transferred them.
That I explained. The situation. To the person.
That I was going to be dealing. You know. So they knew.
So that the customer. Didn't have to go through it. All over again.
But. I went through it. And she was.
She wasn't impressed. She didn't want to. She said.
No. Um. You can't have it monthly.
It's. It's. Every three months.
The bill will be. I said no. It's going to be every month.
From now on. Like it was before. Just needs to be reverted back.
Can't do that. I said. Yes you can.
Yes you can. I've done it before. They put me on three monthly.
Before. Without asking. And I. Phoned them up.
And they put it back. Onto the monthly. So.
You need to pay £55. No. I've got £82 in credit.
On the account. Oh yeah. So you have.
I want accounts. Cancelled. I want to cancel.
The. Direct debit. And I want to cancel.
The. Um. You know.
The. The new tariff. Because I'm not happy with the service.
I'm not sure if I can do that. I'm going to have to get my manager. To.
To oversee that. I said. That's okay.
If you get your manager. I'm. I'm happy to wait.
So. I was trying to just. Be nice.
She was making it difficult. Because it's like. Putting a hurdle.
In front of me. Continuously. Like.
And then she said. Oh by the way. You need to get yourself a meter.
A smart meter. I said. No I don't.
She said. Yeah. It's part of the.
The. Tariff. I said.
No. But I'm. I'm cancelling the tariff.
She said. Oh yeah. Because I didn't realise.
That. Having this new tariff. Meant they expected me.
To do all these things. Like give them regular. Um.
Meter readings. And to. Have this.
stupid thingy you know smart meter I don't want to see every penny that I'm using really it's like a little guilt trip in it like a little guilt trip machine it's like oh you just use another pound watching television you could use that on food you're giving that money to charity but you use it spending the water you know watching The Walking Dead yeah I don't don't need that I don't need to be reminded constantly of how much money I owe just then I said well you can always just put it in your cupboard you
don't have to actually look at it what's the point of it then you know I'm she said back at yeah I didn't realize she was listening so in the end she said she'd cancel the direct debit I didn't believe her she said she changed the tariff back to normal I didn't believe her and she said that I wouldn't they wouldn't try and take the 55 pound out of my account again and I didn't believe her simply because I've been told this stuff before and it wasn't true they don't seem to know what they're doing which
is a shame because I'm pretty sure they're doing their best but the amount of times I've been on the phone for an hour talking to someone and they're promising yeah I'm gonna cancel a direct debit and then they just carry on as normal it's like completely it's almost like they didn't hear anything I said maybe it's my fault for being so boring possibly that's it but you know I try and be friendly to everyone in the call centers because having done the job myself I know how difficult it can be but at the same time
I need I need them to do their jobs properly you know if you've waited on the phone for two hours or an hour and a half to get through you need it come on just it can't be that complicated maybe it is you know I've not done I've not worked in the energy industry in it you know that kind of environment so maybe it's very complicated I don't know but anyway I went on to the app on my phone and I cancelled the direct debit at my end as well so they cannot take any money
out of my account so that's good though because I didn't have to pay any money because 82 pound in credit did I mention that and what I did is I thought you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna give them the correct because she was really being a bit like you've got to give us your you've got to give us your um Andre how about shutting up what's he doing I've got to give yeah go on about oh you've got to give your meter readings you've got to give your meter readings well isn't that your
job to come and collect the meter readings you want me to do your job for you not her I mean her specifically but the company like in the old days me it was a job being a meter reader you'd come around and you'd check the meters it's their job to do that now they expect the customer to do all the work I'm surprised they don't expect us to pump the electric I don't know as they pump the electricity through our bodies into the carry bowls of electricity Andre will you shut up you stupid bloody bunny
and my gas meter is outside so I have to go out and get cold and wet possibly to read it but I thought you know what yeah I'm gonna do it so I went onto the app I filled in it's very easy actually I was surprised at how easy it was to do it and filled in the electric reading and the gas reading and the bill was way less than I thought it would be so considering what is it November now so October my bill was only it came to about 44 pound is how much
I owed you know when they because the last time it was red was about six months ago so they basically overcharged me so wow if you've gone on about oh yeah if you don't do that you're the meter reader will come around every six months and then you'll end up paying a lot more because you'll owe your lowest loads well actually I didn't owe you loads it was the other way around well you didn't I didn't owe you you didn't owe me loads but the bill instead of being probably 80 or 90 pound was only
44 pound because October the heating's on all month and yeah isn't it heating's on all month in October so there shouldn't really be a huge difference between October November and December because the heating's on shouldn't be a huge difference although it does tend to get for some reason the bill seems to be higher in November and December no it was November wasn't it January perhaps so that was okay got that sorted spoke to the catalogue and I was saying well we can help you out if you're having problems paying and we can do a payment
plan I said no I don't need that I just just want to let you know I am gonna pay it I'm just a little bit behind a few days behind that's all never been late before and I said yeah but we've got a payment plan it's not they were like really trying to help I was like I appreciate that I don't need any help it's it's not really an issue it's just a one-off situation I hope because of the money that was supposed to be in there didn't come in and then the money I was
expecting on Friday not one penny came in from that and that's between two different people didn't pay me a penny didn't even approach to pay me a penny didn't knock on my door didn't phone me it's now Sunday nothing tried to contact them can't talk right now be busy I'll get back to you okay so yeah it's a weird one but decided that that's it I'm not lending anybody a penny anymore I've almost been an open bank for the last five years it's like yeah there's a tenner lend you a tenner and I'll get it
back you know but now I find it I find it kind of ironic though that some people you know owe them money they don't go out of their way to pay it back you have to kind of go to them and ask for it yeah if they owe me money knocking on my door early in the morning if you got the money yeah come get my money you get paid today don't you I want money okay different standards for different people it seems so yeah I'm not gonna bother I'm not gonna worry about it but
I'll make those changes not a penny shall be lent plus I can't afford to anyway I don't mind if if I'm now I'm gonna get it back if I've got a spare 10 pound or 20 pound if I know I'm getting it back on Friday and I'm fairly organized so it doesn't that doesn't bother me so much but now this is it's gone over the it's pushed me over my threshold I think my fresh my threshold of the right word is tolerance maybe so yeah so I've spent the last few days in bed all day
all night pretty much in bed just getting up go to the toilet have something to eat and then back to bed that's kind of what I've been doing all day all night I've hardly watched a whole program and it took me about three days to watch a movie which was vampires in Brooklyn no vampires in the Bronx I think it is on Netflix which if you haven't seen it's a good little movie it's nice it's a nice sort of it's just a nice film it's not horror which will be it would probably be horrible for
it might be scary for little kids but not for adults it's not supposed to be it's like more comedy you know but yeah changes I just makes me think about that message I got and I think it's making changes is a constant thing it's not like a one-off I've made changes because you know I go back to times in my past when I made changes 97 I had a very very poor beginning of the year in 97 you know pretty much in the beginning it started off a bit rubbish and it went downhill and a
lot of it was due to my own actions you know my own decision making as well as outside forces outside stuff and then it all kind of culminated well yeah there was two culminations there was one so my girlfriend she that kind of ended and lost my job and I just was going through just very little time and one night I lost it a little bit so that was one culmination I lost it a lot luckily it was just me on my own and that was fine but I really really really just lost lost the
plot and then I think it was August July maybe August 97 something else happened and it just it was it was way bigger than all the other stuff and I just you know I had to deal with it and you know basically something happened and I was in all I was in the papers I was I was named in the papers connected with something else that happened and yeah it wasn't wasn't a nice feeling plus the family issues and so it was a big big old deal for me anyway and the family so I would
spend all day writing in pads writing down how I was feeling I did that for about two weeks sat in the garden sat indoors you know just I think I probably went and sat in the park whatever just got out and I'd write I'd write how I was feeling in the moment and I filled a 200 page book in that time 200 page pad I think possibly both sides the paper as well and sometimes I'd just be staring in air just staring in air just looking up not kind of knowing what else to write because
I'd already written down everything like what have I got to write down now my left foot is tapping you know so it got a bit boring at times but I almost drained drained myself of everything onto the papers onto the pages and then I did decide that something had to change one of the things that well my knee just cracked then one of the things was I was taking there was a little dog that lived in the house where I lived and she was a puppy and I was taking her for a walk and took
her out every day and it really helped me you know just to get out and to have a reason to get out and I remember I was in the park this is in Stratford in East London I was in a park and I think I was near the entrance or maybe inside the park and this this woman probably about the same age as me probably you know 20s middle 20s started talking to me I said all right you know and she started telling me that I was really negative and started having a go at me
not horribly but really kind of we didn't feel very nice but she wasn't being rude but she was I suppose she was but but she basically saying you're just so negative you're not going to get anywhere in life if you're negative I think she was sort of trying to point out look it's a sunny day you're incredibly handsome no she didn't say that it was raining and she's just like oh and I left feeling awful I really felt a bit crappy annoyed but at the same time well yeah I'm being a bit miserable and I'm
being a bit negative and it annoyed me because she was an attractive woman and it seemed like she wanted to talk to me but after talking to me she didn't like me and I'm not saying that's the first time that's happened but someone's thought oh it looks okay and then starts talking to me and realizes that I'm not but it's I mean in reality I'm playing with my feet today I don't know why my feet are fidgety in a way I've kind of had to rely more on personality than looks in my life with ladies
I don't you know I can't just I can't just stand there and smile and say hi and that's it I've never really well occasionally but generally you know I need to put a bit of effort in I say this is a long time since I've put any effort in ever regarding you know women it's a long time I don't yeah blimey last time I put any effort in to trying to woo a lady woo was no even then I didn't I was dating someone but I didn't put any effort in but by that I mean
I was just myself I didn't have to put effort in plus she was from Transylvania so a lot of my verbal charms were completely pointless on her because she didn't understand what I was talking about or she didn't understand the references so she might understand the words but not really know you know who's Mork and Mindy what's the Dukes of Hazzard what do you mean Adam and the Ants what's that yeah actually I forgot to mention most of my chat up lines involve 80s 80s characters on television so it's weird and they're all weird thing
to say I can't remember last time I tried to chat someone up no oh yeah I did try and check someone up that they didn't like me though this is about Wow Wow it's got to be over 10 years ago there's a wedding Wow blimey this is when I was a counsellor this was when I was a counsellor I think and I haven't been a counsellor for six seven years so yeah it might be seven years ago probably about ten eight nine years ago ten years ago and for some reason on the table where I
was sat my friend put basically her friends on that table but we didn't all know each other so I knew a few I knew a couple of people there and there was this one lady and she can't she started asking me questions so she was sitting opposite me not not close enough because quite a big table not close enough to me to really talk to her personally but she was more like shouting over the table and she'd asked me questions so I thought that she was interested in getting to talk to me you know and
so she was asking about hypnosis and counseling and which is very matter-of-fact kind of didn't seem to be any humor there at all which I've got this thing right okay it's not so prevalent as it used to be but I used to like the challenge of making a woman laugh who maybe didn't laugh anything I said or would seem like she just didn't like to laugh or didn't didn't you know it was very I suppose in some times some cases very professional you know keeping everything under under lock and key like a human like a
kind of a humor chastity belt you know where all the humors so I'm kind of locked in and because I know everybody's got a sense of humor everyone can laugh everyone finds certain things funny you know you know there's obviously even people are seriously depressed can still find themselves laughing at stuff sometimes I know some people say I've never laugh I've never laughed and I can make you laugh you know we're not in one state the whole time ever it seems like it sometimes but we're not you know I've been through I've been through depressions
probably so too many times to count now some not as you know deep as others but I always managed to laugh at some point even if you know it's it's rare but you know when I was I remember I'd be going to these I was working so I was going to these different places to work and I was hardly able to move my feet I just really just everything was like the whole world seemed to be on my shoulders but come the weekend I was able to really I was able to watch I can't remember
what TV show it was I was watching but laugh me head off weird but anyway this lady she had dark hair and stuff she she really honestly seemed to not like me or not want to laugh so I was trying to make a laugh but didn't work but the thing I used to like is even with like supervisors and bosses and people that were really you know as I said professional and that I like to catch they should like to catch them off guard and make them laugh but I liked it when they would laugh
and they'd keep laughing and they wouldn't be able to stop laughing because I just tickled their funny bone catch them off guard and I did this with a lady at work she was just nice she was a supervisor but she was really quite strict and she'd say things like well if we if you don't sort this issue out then we're gonna have to have a different conversation in other words you know like you're gonna get sacked or something but I remember I was doing some training with her and I said something and it was a
department the FT FTD department which was to do with the financial technician department or something to do with an I do credit checks on the customers before allowing the loan to go ahead so if people wanted to pay monthly and all I did is I called it the STD department or something like that so I keep getting I keep calling it STD and it was something like that it's not funny saying it now but she started laughing and she couldn't stop really that's not long before I left actually she she really in a sec and
I didn't she couldn't stop laughing and I like that I had a girlfriend once I did it's 95 and she's she was another one she was I loved I really liked her a lot actually and probably the only one of the only ones that I would have actually settled down with but wasn't to be and it's a shame because we were compatible also we had a laugh and she was I I don't think her daughter liked me that much to be fair but she kind of was getting used to her she was only about four
or three or four but a little boy absolutely adored me and he was a baby so she'd she was split up with her husband and stuff but a little baby the boy absolutely I don't know why we just had a connection and I'd sing to him sing sing to him Michael Jackson songs he'd fall asleep so whenever he whenever she wanted him to go to sleep I'd go and sing to him and it's I think a sign that we connected is I didn't see him for five weeks when I was at Butlins or maybe four
weeks and then he was in hospital he had to go to hospital so I got a phone call and I came to London straight away and I went into the ward and the first thing he did was put his arms out for me to pick him up so four weeks is a long time in a baby's life to be gone for a whole month for a baby and he was only what six months old maybe seven months you know he's a baby he's still a baby toddler and there was definitely a connection there and the
closest thing I've had to having a son I guess really so that's weird it was a weird feeling I really kind of it's not unusual to have a connection with a small child because they are they're lovely you know they're kind of they're so dependent upon you and you they look up to you they need you they need you for everything don't they really but yeah it's weird though because that's 95, 25 years ago that baby's now like 26 years old Wow blimey oh yeah I remember I said to her we was in bed and
there was this weird sound and she said what was that I said I don't know it's just a fanny file and she started laughing and she couldn't stop laughing I don't think she'd ever heard the term before and she could not stop laughing she kept every now and she stopped laughing and she'd say it again fanny file and she'd stop and that was the first time I really heard her laugh like really you know uncontrollable I like that because you can't control that stuff that just happens naturally I mean some people are really good at
like pretending to smile and laugh when you say something like yeah yeah but you catch them like that and then you know I think that's why sometimes stand-up comedy is so good with an audience because people I guess sometimes they're drinking I don't drink alcohol but some people you know in a nightclub they'll be drinking but they're out there maybe they're with their friends the barriers are down the social barriers are down they're more sensitive to be able to be tickled you know to have their funny bone tickled to the point where they can't stop
laughing and I mean you know everyone didn't know the comedy clubs probably laughing but to catch them out to really get them where they like can't stop it's brilliant it's brilliant to hear it because you hear it above everything else because they're still laughing and then the audience laughs again and sometimes it spreads so that everyone's just in hysterics including the comedian I'm not saying that I've actually went out for some breath once it was so much and there was people it was honestly there was someone in a helicopter above us laughing it's just it's
just contagious I'll make that up I don't have to say stuff what was involves helicopters I must have some kind of weird helicopter fetish well see yeah I'm I also did another recording for the relaxation for stress and anxiety podcast as well as this one as well so but I did that one I did that one on Thursday night actually but I'm only releasing it today and irony if this is irony or not but the recording was about allowing your brain having trust in your brain to allow you to relax and sleep in during noise
during a noisy environment it's all going so well I was quite pleased with how the words were flowing and all that stuff and then this is 4.
30 in the morning when the neighbours started shouting and arguing like really I'm doing a recording and I had to stop the recording because I was also doing it on video yep I was doing a video I had to stop the video with the audio it's a lot easier I could just edit it out with video you can see the person you can't just this just spoil it so I probably just delete that one but I edited it took me I did that Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday so took me three days to actually get the energy up to it to edit it and it didn't take long at all but it was just oh man what are you doing shouting at 4.
30 why are you doing shouting at any time of the day all night what's that shouting about I know I kind of had a little shout at Andre but it was a brief thing I'm not kind of having a tantrum anyway it's probably time for me to get out now so it's Sunday today yeah so it's the fourth day of lockdown of a month so I'm not getting my delivery time today at 6.
30 in the morning which means I don't have to get by with what I do have so I've got enough stuff to last me till Monday anyway so I don't need to go out today and then see if I can try and book an appointment in fact let me have a look now whilst I'm here let me see if there aren't any that was weird oh no let me see if there's any... where is it?
oh there it is book a slot for delivery so Wednesday is the first one I can book for unavailable oh there is one available yes done it reserve slot Wednesday okay my orders your order adult trolley okay it's fine so 55 items and it comes £127 I'm not gonna have all that stuff but at least the trolley's full and I can change it and the day before so what I need to do now is go to checkout checkout to continue checkout to continue place order thanks for booking a green delivery slot I don't care about
that often that just means they've already got people in the area place order they've got no Warbridge and Teacakes damn you I'll place the order now order placed you can amend your order until 11 p.
m.
on Tuesday the 10th of November see that's good isn't it done Wednesday the 11th you were there when it happened how exciting see sometimes the best times to get a delivery slot is in the middle of the night this is not 630 in the morning but now it's all delivered without bags so every item I've got bend down and pick it up put it into a carry bag so I've got carry bags inside here and at the end of it my back it's just I have to end up laying down for about an hour so
hopefully with my weights my weight training I should be able to start strengthening my back a bit more that's my plan yeah so that was a that was a pointless 70 minutes wasn't it very pointless indeed so thank you very much for listening thank you for everything and please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy happy happy happy happy so take care and I shall speak to you soon lots of love
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.