(no music) Universal Credit | LMBYTS #1343 | 1st May 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Thank you for waiting, your call is important to us, we love you very very much.

Erm, yeah, this Let Me Bore You To Sleep, hello, hello, hello, hi, I can't believe it's been fairly quiet and suddenly there's drilling going on again, damn it, damn, damn, damn, it's 18 past 3, I'm just going to do the recording anyway, I've been waiting for some quiet moments but it's a little, it's not like, it's not full on, but it's so random. Oh there's a funny thing that happened yesterday, my neighbour called me, she said have you got some building work going on upstairs?

And I thought, cheeky mare, complaining about the noise I'm making after all the drilling, she's been drilling, not drilling but, you know, in the bathroom being done this week, all the drilling they do downstairs, and I said no? She said there's some weird sound coming from upstairs, I said well I might have farted, she said no no it wasn't that sound, I know that sound, ok well fair enough, makes me a little bit self conscious.

And I don't know, I started to think I should like stick my bum out the window or something, so anyway, I went downstairs, I thought well I'll come down and listen because I can't hear anything up here, so I went down and I was listening and it was this really weird, weird sound, very poltergeisty, why don't they just call poltergeist polterghost, it's weird that they would use the word geist, why not ghost, it makes sense, because it's kind of a ghost isn't it?

Anyway, polter, it wasn't a poltergeist, sorry if I spoilt the story, I jumped ahead a little bit there, and I, well she couldn't figure out where it was coming from, it sounded like it was coming from the bathroom but it also sounded like it was in the wall, it sounded like it might be coming from upstairs, it sounded like it might be coming from the storage room which is next to the bathroom, so we were kind of searching, it was like a Scooby Doo search you know, but without,

well there was no animated characters, there was no dog, talking dog, and there was no, well we didn't have anyone at the end to like pull off their face and say, it was him all along, none of that stuff, that's my impression, Vinnie does look, Vinnie does look like a kangaroo, when he's on all fours, someone mentioned he looked like a kangaroo, because I did a picture and they said, oh well you do look like a kangaroo therefore, I was like, it's not a kangaroo, it's just it was out of proportion size wise, the image, but it was supposed to be Vinnie, based upon his pic, pic, pic, picture.

Anyway, so downstairs, we're looking and we figure out, it's definitely coming from the bathroom, which is in the process of being rebuilt, the only thing in the bathroom at the moment is just the toilet, there's nothing else in there, and they put a new toilet in yesterday.

Now I, apparently my neighbour didn't think they were going to be putting a new toilet in, like a whole new bathroom, but no new toilet, genuinely thought that, and I thought, kind of, that seemed like a weird thing to do, because if I had a new bathroom, and they were just going to leave the old toilet, I'd tell them not to bother, imagine everything nice and new, then there's this stain thing in the middle, it's like, no, I mean that toilet's seen better days.

Well, I say better days, I mean, you might argue this might be a good day, because I haven't used it much, but what a job.

I mean, it's literally the kind of, what the worst, worstest job, outside of, I don't know, I'll move on from that. I think we all know where I'm going with that one, so, possibly.

Okay, so, so it's like, it felt to me, when I said to you, sure it's not my toilet, because when I flushed my toilet, I had some problems, and it wasn't flushing, and it was weird, but the plumber came, fixed by, say, plumber, someone from the council that probably does everything, came along and fixed it, and then someone else came back the next day and fixed it again, and the water fills up really quick, and then it goes, and it's kind of like, once it finished flushing, it's almost like it's burping, like, really like, oh, that was lovely, it was that kind of sound.

Okay, I don't hear the words, that's lovely, but it is, that's a kind of sound, weird, weird sound. I've figured out a way to stop it from doing that, is by turning the, I nearly said the wet tap, the cold tap on, just a little bit, so that it doesn't fill up quite so quickly, and it's loud, and I don't, because in the middle of night, if I do a wee wee, I don't flush a toilet, but anything else, I say anything else, there's not that many options, is there?

If I decide to make some pancakes, no, but if anything else, I do flush, that's not, I'm not a big fan of, yeah, I like to try and keep everything, I think, it's kind of like at the end of a relationship, isn't it?

You just want to move on, it's, you know, just like, just, let's just separate nicely, and, you know, you get on with your life, I'll get on with my life, and that's, that to me, it's very much like flushing a toilet, it's, it's a nice clean break, see ya, thanks for everything you did for me, and, you know, if we meet again, then we'll try and be on good terms, but hopefully we won't meet again, which is generally what I normally used to think, if I ended a relationship, or a relationship came to an actual

end, when they become bored of me, or they realize I really was like this, I actually had that once, I remember a girlfriend saying to me, said, what's happened to you?

I said, what do you mean? She said, when we met, you were so full of energy, and funny, and, and now you're just, you're not like that. I said, because I'm not one-dimensional, I didn't know about the bipolar back then, I knew I had moods, I mean, but hey, this is when I was about 26, and she said, you're not, you're not like that anymore, and I'm thinking, yeah, that is a bit much to kind of keep, you can hear that, sounds like someone's like knocking on the ceiling downstairs, almost like, can you speak up, I can't hear you, can you talk a bit louder, please?

I, yeah, I don't know why I remembered that.

I had one girl, one girlfriend, she left me, telling me that my eyebrows were too low, my eyebrows were too close to my eyes, and I thought, okay, so ultimately, she wanted someone that was permanently startled. Someone walking around, it was, had a permanent look of it, expression of surprise. I tried that, but it was, it ached a little bit.

I thought about shaving my eyebrows off, and then just painting someone, or getting, well, not caterpillars, but you know what I mean, like, and put them halfway up my forehead. But then, she didn't like that either. So it couldn't have been the eyebrows.

I remember once, I didn't ask her to talk about relationship breakups, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna talk about that, but it just, I remember once, this is, I had a little bit of, I don't know, like my brain worked, my brain kicked into action, and I got in touch with reality in that moment. So there was this, I don't know what it was, a long time ago, any, any female relationship was a long time ago for me.

So I'm sitting there, and my girlfriend is dumping me, she's already told me she's dumping me, and she shut us down for the evening to tell me all the things wrong I did, and all the reasons why she's dumping me, and all the things I need to change.

And at one point, she was crying, and then I woke up. I wasn't asleep, but it was boring, but I didn't fall asleep. And I just like, it just kicked in like, wait a minute.

And my friend like, he used to like to say, what's wrong with this picture? He used to do that when I used to work for him, I used to clean, clean the toilets, and he would like, walk me into the, into the toilets, what's wrong with this picture? To start with, if I said I don't know, he'd go like, he'd get angry and stuff, so I had to kind of like, have something up my sleeve to say.

He said, so he walked me in there, so one day like, what's wrong with this picture? And I was ready, I said, is it the poo on the ceiling? Is it the tambourine hanging, hanging from the air conditioning? It's like, no, I didn't notice that, but okay, yeah, that as well. I don't know why he didn't sack me.

So I, yeah, so I'm sitting there, getting lectured about everything that's wrong with me. And trust me, it takes a long time to get through those. And that was back then, imagine now.

That's got a good month, I reckon, if you'd like, talked continuously about all my faults. Oh, bless. And I kind of go, wait, wait a second.

So I'm probably an hour into this, okay. There was a lot more to go. You know, I kind of was thinking, I wish I'd bought a packed lunch.

I knew it was going to go, you know, a little flask of coffee, so I could have a break. And I said, just, can I just confirm something? He said, what? Are we going to get back together again? Or is this the end? She said, no, it's the end of the relationship. So I said, okay, right.

I just stood up. So I went to, you know, put my coat on, put my trousers back on. And she said, where are you going? I said, I'm going home.

She said, but I haven't finished talking. I said, I know, and you probably never will. It was just, it just like, almost like my brain grew up temporarily.

I went back down to being immature again. But for that, that, as you can tell, but for that instant, my, the mature part of my brain was activated. And I was an adult.

And I could see things so clearly, like, okay. Yeah, granted, loads of faults. I mean, untold faults.

Never, you know, I'll hold my hands up to that. But I don't have to sit and listen to it. You know, it's like, I don't have to sit, listen to this character assassination.

Send me a letter. This is for this is for the internet. Send me a letter.

And we might know I didn't even have a mobile phone back then. I don't think so. Yeah, it was like, really.

I think it's the first, it might be the only time that my, the mature part of my brain was ignited. Thinking about it, I might have used up all those brain cells. Perhaps that's why I've never gone back to that.

So I've stayed like immature. That's the problem that as I've got getting older, and I start acting weird. I don't think anyone would actually notice.

Oh, it's just Jason. It's just J being J. You know? And yeah. What's that got to do with the toilet downstairs? So I, so I'm downstairs looking for this noise, which is weird to look for a noise.

It's like listening for, I'm listening for a colour. You know, it's very kind of strange. And but that's, see, my ears are pretty good.

I mean, they should be the size of them. And I say pretty good. They're not, it's not that I can hear well.

But I've got a good sense of focus in my hearing. Give you an example. I should turn into a job interview, isn't it? I'm really bigging myself up here.

Oh, this, this is kind of what I'm going to be talking about in this recording. This is one of those real recordings, those real life. Oh, this is one of those what's actually happening right now in my life.

It's not not bad. It's not. I won't be writing any romantic poetry about it this way.

So anyway, I remember when I was in a job doing in a call centre. Wonder if I could get another call centre job. I go back to being the grumpy call centre, call centre work.

Maybe I could. People you'd employ yourself reliable call answering 24 seven money penny. Wow.

So if I put call centre work in my local town, call centre jobs, okay, new candidates urgently needed. There's a reason why I'm going. Yeah, there's a reason for me talking about this.

Just let you know. 17 call centre jobs. Well, I've actually got two neighbours, we're not to one neighbour, and another lady who both work from home.

And they both work in call centres from home. The problem is with that for me is, in some ways, I mean, maybe I could do it. I don't know.

What do I do on a day when I can't get out of bed? You know, it's it's one of those weird things. I can't. I don't know.

But probably the only benefit the best for me the best and I would actually probably say this the best and worst part of life in a way is the people you know, or but we're in a workplace. The people are both the worst and the best part of the job. I generally get on with most people.

But sometimes, sometimes it you know, it's weird as you can have 90 you can have a team of like 20 people. But if you're one person, one difficult person, it can really dampen the atmosphere. And especially if that person's the team leader.

Oh, I mean, when I was training in my last job, there was we were in this little training area for sales. I don't know if they used it for other departments as well. Right behind us, I think was the finance department.

And this, I guess he was the team leader, he was a supervisor, was talking to this bloke behind me, like he was. He was very being very disrespectful to him talking down to him. And it's weird, because I'd only just started working there.

And I was really on the edge of my seat about to turn around and just punch that bloke. Really, it was winding me up so much. Because he just wouldn't do what he was told.

But why couldn't he listen to his manager? No, I really was on the edge, on the verge of turning around, telling the bloke, stop talking to him like that. Yeah, he's your, you might be, you might be his boss. But he's still a human being.

You know, you know, his dad. Oh, you are his dad. Okay.

But yeah, you're in work. It's not like you don't own the company. Oh, okay.

HR. No, I don't know where that is. You want me to go there now? You'll escort me there? Okay.

Bye, everyone. Love you. A urology nurse.

I wonder what those jobs are like. Do you know jobs like medical jobs where you deal with a part of the body that you're just dealing with one part of the body? I can understand. The brain would be amiss.

I just personally find the brain super fascinating. And the whole body is phenomenal, really. I mean, all not just humans, but all bodies just the way the system works is bearing in mind, it's just over millions of years or whatever.

It's grown and progressed. And you know, whatever. I find the word whatever really helps with moving on from stuff I don't know about.

Yeah, I some downstairs looking at this. Looking, listening for this sound is vibrating the wall. And I realized I thought maybe it was a bird in the extractor fan, the extractor fans been taken off.

But there was like a hole in the wall. Surprisingly, quite a thick wall. I was a bit surprised about that thick old wall.

And I did because I've had that in mind with the the bird got into the extractor fan. And so I thought maybe that's that's what it was. But look through there couldn't see anything.

And then it happened again. It was like it's real buzzing, buzzing sound. And I said, maybe it's my electric toothbrush.

She said, Do you have an electric toothbrush? I said, No, but I'd like you to think that if you ever hear anything vibrating upstairs, it's my electric toothbrush. But do you have an electric toothbrush? I said, No. I just just want to let you know, if you ever hear anything vibrating, please just you know, just assume it's my electric toothbrush.

He said, I wouldn't have assumed anything. Why are you even bringing that up? Why are you mentioning an electric toothbrush? I said, I don't know. I just hearing that vibration just reminded me, because when I hear things vibrating down here, I have to pretend that it's not an electric toothbrush.

Why would you pretend it's not an electric toothbrush? Because it makes me giggle. I know you do have an electric toothbrush. And it and I, I'm just like a very, very immature.

She said, I know that. Can we just try and focus on finding out where this vibrations coming from? Here's a weird thing. My friend, he was a security guard, right? And he got told off for being naughty.

And I mean, he was a middle aged man, but he got, I don't know what he did, but he's, he did something wrong and he got told off. And he said, when the man shouted at me, his bum vibrated. He said, his bum vibrated.

And he said, it was lovely. It was probably the weirdest conversation I'd ever had. And I never thought I'd actually share that conversation.

And I don't know why today is the right day to do that. Yeah, I don't know. Just reminded me, I think you talk about vibrations.

I'm just, I think about that. I remember, you know, sitting on the washing machine with my nan, talking to her while the washing machine was on its cycle. She kept falling off.

The good old days. Because the thing is, we used to do this little thing, so we'd sit on there and the tumble dryer, I mean, you had that vibration the whole time. Sometimes we'd do it with the tumble dryer.

So we'd wait until the washing machine was cycling. The tumble dryer would also be going because she had quite a few washing things to do. I'd sit on one, she'd sit on the other.

And what we'd do, we'd put our tea, put the milk in a tea and we'd fill it right to the top. And we'd hold it to see who could hold it the longest before it spilled all everywhere. And I remember it went all down the blouse and down the dress.

So she won, I had to get changed. So yeah, I miss those times. So in the end, what happened is, I realised the last time it vibrated, or not the last time it vibrated, but it's definitely coming down from down there.

It's coming from down there. I'm pointing down, but that doesn't really make much difference to you when you're listening, does it? But it was kind of like a kind of skirting board. Wow, can you hear that? It's a skirting board and kind of thing in the bathroom, but wood.

I said, I can definitely tell you it's coming from down that area. So I put my finger on it, waiting for a vibration. I said, do you want to stick your finger on it? She said, no, you're right.

Okay, so I thought, I was so hoping that that would start to vibrate. I mean, there wasn't enough room to sit on it, but I just put my finger on it. Because I was thinking, this, this will be it.

And I'll be a hero. But it wasn't. What it was, is we both, because we were focusing on the area.

We both heard it at the same time. It's a radio. Like there was a builders, I didn't even know builders radios still existed.

One of these big builders radios that especially, I suppose you could drop out the window and not hurt. And it was still turned on. But it was like that.

So it was, you know, just every now and then coming. And then, you know, randomly. But it was right where I said, but it was, it was in front of us.

I didn't even know it was a radio. I haven't seen one of them things. I know what builders radio looks like.

My dad had one. He was an electrician. But I haven't seen one of them for probably 30 years, 40 years, 30 years.

Anyway, I picked it up and looked at it. I mean, it's a modern version of the one that my dad had. But just turned it off.

And that was it. I mean, that's the end of that story. And that's a problem.

You know, sometimes the stories are so exciting. The buildup is exciting. And it's like a, I don't know, some kind of suspenseful crime thriller.

And then the middle part is action packed. Maybe a little bit of romance. Maybe an opportunity for the characters to really take time to ponder upon life choices.

And ideally some kind of climatic exit to the movie. But this didn't have that. It just had a radio.

And I came upstairs, turned it off, came upstairs. It's a shame. It could have been a really good story.

So Vinnie's just guffed. Oh, I'm talking I'm seriously either that or they're spraying the fields. In fact, not only they're spraying the fields, either that or they've sprayed the entire garden outside because it's really bad smelling.

I hope it's him. Oh, I got a window open so it could be coming from outside. But no, he's aimed.

He always lays so his bum's aimed at me. He's been acting a bit strange lately. I don't quite understand why.

He's, I had a friend come around yesterday that I haven't seen for a while. And Vinnie loves him, like really, really loves him. You know, he's one of the few people that I, he could be the other side of the field.

Or the other side of the park, rather, or even the field if he could see him. The other side of the park, I can't see all the way to the other side of the field. And I could let him off the lead.

And guaranteed it wouldn't matter what else was around. He would run, he would keep running till he got to him. He's one of them people.

There's there's a few like that that he's got, that he just loves. And he all, that's all he focuses on is that person. He doesn't like it when they leave.

So he stuck around for about an hour, hour and a half. We were just talking and Vinnie was sulking. We went out for a walk.

So he could, he was going so I took Vinnie out with us. Vinnie was like pulling me to go with him. And then when I got in there, I'm just in the living room.

I don't know, watching some TV, scratching my knees. I can't remember. I'm not sure if I was shaving my toes, something like that.

And I thought, where's Vinnie? I'm looking for him. He's not in the bedroom. He's, have I locked him in the kitchen? Have I closed the kitchen door? So it happens occasionally.

He's sniffing around the kitchen. I close the door and I don't realise he's in there. I haven't got any locks on any of my doors.

Apart from the bathroom, of course. And the front door. Blimey, of course.

Well, I would I'd come home every day to nothing. There'd be, there wouldn't even be any carpet if the doors were open. This, this, that's the kind of area I live in.

And, and I found him. He wasn't anywhere. I thought, is he hiding? I thought maybe he'd done, like had an accident and he was hiding.

He was scared. Even though I wouldn't care anyway. It's not going to really make too much difference to the carpet.

Probably brighten it up, if anything. He was in the hallway in the dark, because there's no lights. There's no light coming into the hallway.

So I couldn't see him at first glance. And he was just laying or sitting, I think he might have been sitting in the dark, near the front door. He didn't want to go out.

He'd already been out. He'd already gone to the toilet, all that stuff. Okay, maybe he wanted to go.

He didn't need to go out. He was pining for his friend. Uncle Eric, eh? Pining for Uncle Eric.

And I was like, come on. What are you doing? So yeah, he was, and he's been weird today. He's been weird the last, weird, to food.

He's been really off his wet food, but he's not off food. Because I just gave him some sausages earlier and he enjoyed them. So I don't really know what's going on.

It might just be that time of year. It seems to be, I think he might be getting a little bit overheated. I don't know.

I can't figure it out. I hope he's okay. I do, I'm, yeah, I probably am a little bit of a worrier sometimes.

Oh, a squeaky chair, isn't it? So, so that was yesterday. It was weird because Monday, I think it was Monday or Saturday, I did a recording Saturday. Then I was pretty busy.

I didn't really get a lot done. Then the boxing was on. So I watched that.

Sunday, I was in bed most of the day to be fair. I didn't have, yeah, my, let's call it my mojo. I've got different versions of my mojo.

This is just, I guess the energy one. So Sunday was like that. Monday, I really was in that mode of no, no, not happening.

And I couldn't really figure it out. And I suppose, I mean, you know, building work going on, that probably wasn't ideal. Was it Monday or Tuesday that building work started? I can't remember.

I think it was Monday. So what day was Monday? The 20, April, Monday, the 28th. So the 28th, I did do, I kind of, so I did something on Saturday, the let me bore your pain away 29.

I did a Q&A Friday the day before. And Monday, I couldn't do anything. And then I had a bit of energy, I think, I think it was Monday or Tuesday.

And suddenly I had a bit of energy. So I ended up doing two recordings. Monday's boring objects.

And then let me bore your pain away. Maybe it's Tuesday when I just didn't, I couldn't focus. But I ended up doing I did two on Tuesday as well.

Did I? That's weird. To be fair. Well, whatever happened it, it, you know, I went to bed.

During the day. I woke up and I kind of felt better. So I got up and did something.

But it's been a hit and miss this week. Although in blunt, I've done two on Monday, two on Tuesday, one Wednesday. And day, which is Thursday.

Though I haven't done a, okay, I did let me bore your pain away Tuesday. And I also did let me bore your pain away. Monday as well.

And also Saturday. So I've not really, I've done a few of them. So yeah, I forget how many I do sometimes.

Because once they're done, I forget about them. And as I think most people do. But yeah, okay, so that wasn't too bad.

But I just, I kind of lost lost it a little bit. And managed to get it back. So that's good.

But then something happened today, which is thrown me a little bit. Yesterday was weird. I had someone asked me for money.

I had two people asked to borrow money yesterday. So that was that sets me back emotionally. It does.

Because that just takes back to reminds me of the last 10 years of being completely taken advantage of by so many different people, people borrowing money, not paying it back and how upsetting that is. And it reminds me of that it reminds me of my friend and yeah, so I'm getting heavy. But yeah, so that was quite upsetting.

Not at the time, but afterwards, there's like, okay. And also I was looking through some of the messages I've got from a particular person that's been asking for money since the summer. And some of this some of the I can't read it one day I will read them out.

I can't now. But there's I might read them out one day. But and it is really strange.

How people can sometimes use manipulative tactics, you know, like really knowing how I don't know. I don't think it's weak, or susceptible, gullible. I don't know.

I'm kind of one of these people and explain how I am now. I'm one of these people. This is what I'm like.

I like to think that people are just telling me the truth. And I don't want to live a life where I'm just assuming that everyone's lying to me. Because I don't think that's a nice, just a nice.

It's not a nice way to be experiencing the day. I don't think you know, no, in reality, not everyone's telling the truth. And I mean, in these recordings, I tell a lot of porkies, but I would assume most of it's obvious that I'm not telling the truth, and I'm just making stuff up.

But that's the more kind of weird stuff. I've just come out of I had that job on there. So just come out of the the internet annoys me sometimes.

I nearly booked an appointment with spec savers yesterday, but luckily I didn't because Okay, here's what happened. I got a letter, got a letter, and straight away I was in a brown envelope. And I thought, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, never a good sign.

Never a good sign. And it was from the DWP, which is Department of something. Welfare, pensions, DW, work and pensions, Department of Work and Pensions, DWP.

And that's the department that I get my benefits from. So they are from the I think, July, I think is something like the 21st or the 11th or something of July, my benefits stop. And I have to apply for a different type of benefit, which is called universal credit.

Because I'm still on the old benefits. And technically, I was told that I would have been changed over in 2020. So it's a little bit late.

So I've probably done all right, I guess. But I knew I have a local neighbor who's also about three or four weeks, maybe a couple of months ago, she had hers come through. So I kind of was it's I wasn't expecting it, but I thought maybe because I knew I knew it was getting closer to the the deadline of when they were going to make everyone swap over.

So the difference, I'll tell you the difference just in case you're interested. W, the difference between you see, and yes, okay. So the difference, new style employment support allowance 2016.

Now, so what I'm on now, it was new back then. What universal credit is this is from the citizens advice.org.uk So the CCA is called CSA Citizens Advice Bureau. CAB used to be called an anaconda CA.

Okay, unless this isn't the Citizens Advice Bureau, that might be a separate website. What is universal credit? This advice applies to England. So universal credit has replaced these benefits for most people, housing benefit.

So this is what it said in my letter as well. So my benefits that are going to get they're going to cancel in July, housing benefit, income related employment support allowance, ESA, income based job seekers allowance, JSA, child tax credit, working tax credit and income support. So I'm on ESA and housing benefit.

And you might be able to get universal credit if you're not working, or you're on a low income. And universal credit works differently from the old benefits. So important, it's important to know the differences.

To be fair, I don't know much about the differences. So let's have a look. The biggest differences are, you can get universal credit if you're unemployed, but also if you're working.

Okay, I'm guessing that's based on how much you're working, you're earning. So if you're on a low wage, but that means if you're unemployed, you can still get it. You'll usually get a single payment each month, rather than weekly or fortnightly.

So mine's fortnightly at the moment, so it's going to end up being once a month. Instead of getting a separate housing benefit, your rent will usually be paid directly to you as part of your monthly universal credit repayment or payment. That I don't like.

I'll be honest with you. I've got got a few friends that have got well behind on their rent. Because when you get that in your money, and the bank just takes stuff out because you've got debts or whatever.

And the housing benefit are pretty good. The council are pretty good. They do really go out of their way to help.

They're not in the habit of just kicking people out as soon as they can. At the moment, I can't half expect to like walk out one day and be a queue of people just waiting to move in. See if I break any rules, rules.

And so I'm going to request because I think you can if you're good with money, and I've proved that I'm really not very good. I just I'm not great with money, to be honest. And I prefer the rent to go directly to the landlord, rather than give me because my rent's 104 pound a week, which is very low for a flat.

But that's 400. I don't know how much that is a month. 500 400 and whatever amount 420 is it? I don't know.

So you usually get one one monthly payment to cover your living costs. If you claim universal credit as a couple, you and your partner will get one payment between the two of you. That doesn't seem fair.

I can understand in a way. I mean, the rent, the rent is going to be the same. If you live in a one bedroom flat, if I had a girlfriend here, living with me, the rent is going to be the same.

The council tax will be higher. Because I get a 25% discount or whatever, because of being on being a single person. I would then, but the bills are going to be higher, but probably not a huge amount to be fair.

But because the heating won't be any higher, the water will be a little bit higher, but there won't be a lot in it, I don't think. Food's going to be higher, I imagine. But maybe you can get get away with the same amount of money for two as for one.

That doesn't really make sense to me. But yeah, it doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't.

I just kind of doesn't seem fair that someone should get less just because they're living with someone. And anyway, it doesn't apply to me because I haven't got a girlfriend. You'll usually get one payment.

Okay. And the payment is made up of a basic standard allowance and extra payments that might apply to you depending on the circumstances. You might be able to get extra payments if you look after one or more children, which I do not.

I've got Vinnie. Work and pay for childcare. No.

Need help with housing costs. No, not other than the rent. Are disabled or have a health condition.

And I'm classed as disabled due to my mental disability. Are a carer for a disabled person or have a disabled child? No. If you get help with rent, if your universal credit payment includes help with rent.

I suppose that depends if you're working or not. I guess if you work in a wooden wood, I suppose. I don't know.

You usually need to pay your landlord each month from your universal credit payment, even if you live in social housing. So that doesn't there might be a way around that. I don't know.

I'm not sure. You can ask the DWP to pay your rent directly to your landlord. If you're in debt, have rent arrears or are struggling with money.

So I will do that. I'll just say look, no, pay it to them. Don't be giving me 104 pound a week.

I'll only go and spend it on chocolate. If you're working, you can work. So you can work and still get universal credit.

Your universal credit will reduce gradually as you earn more. Your universal credit will go up if your job ends or you earn less. If you're self-employed, your payment might also be affected by how much the DWP DWP expects you to earn each month.

This expected, it's got to itch my eye. Unfortunately, I can't see the screen now. I can see the screen just not the writing.

This expects this expected amount is called your minimum income floor. Find out how the minimum income floor works and if it applies to you. Next, claiming other benefits.

If you get universal credits, you should apply for council tax reduction. If you get it, it won't reduce the amount of universal credit you get. So I'm on council tax reduction.

So will that not just continue? I have to make things so complicated. If you're disabled, you should check if you're eligible for personal independence payments, PIP. If you're responsible for a disabled child, you should check if you can claim disability living allowance DLA for your child.

Getting PIP or DLA won't reduce the amount of universal credits you get. And they're trying to, or the government are really trying to crack down on personal independent payments to reduce it. But really to get as many people off as possible as well.

And you can also claim other benefits if you have enough national insurance contributions. For example, if you're unemployed, check if you can claim contribution based jobseekers allowance, JSA. Also called new style JSA.

No. If you can't work because of illness or disability, check if you can claim contribution based employment and support allowance. But that's what I'm on.

So that makes no sense. Again, they're moving me away from that. This is claiming other benefits.

If you get universal credit, check if you can claim contribution based employment and support allowance, ESA, also called new style ESA. If you get either of these benefits, your universal credit will be reduced. But there are reasons it's still worth claiming them.

For example, universal credit is paid once a month, but JSA and ESA are paid every two weeks. This might make it easier to manage your money. Right there.

See, they know it's easy to manage money if you get paid every two weeks. Yeah, they're paying every month. Horace has just come back.

Horace the pig is gone. He hears his name. As soon as he hears his name, he's gone.

I said Horace turned around, flapped away. Applying for new style ESA. Check if you can claim contribution based.

So changes from ESA rules from 2028. On the 18th of March 2025, the government announced changes to how some types of ESA are paid. These changes would not happen until 2028.

If you're thinking of applying for new style ESA, you should. You're more likely to get ESA if you apply before the rules change. Okay, you can get ESA at the same time as other benefits like PIP.

But you can't usually get ESA at the same time as job seekers allowance or income support. If you're employed, but you can't work, you usually get statutory set SSP statutory. Can't say that word.

Statutory. Statutory. I just started coughing then.

I realised I think one of the reason I'm coughing is because Vinnie is he's peeling or whatever you want to call it. His hair's just coming off. They're everywhere.

And I've got them all over my desk. It's little hairs. I think they might be getting... Hello, darling.

And I'm not saying hello to the hairs. I'm talking to Vinnie. Hi, Vin.

Okay, anyway, so if you're employed, but you can't work, you usually get statutory. Statutory. Statutory sick pay from your employer for 28 weeks.

You can't get SSP and ESA at the same time. But you can start your ESA claim up to three months before your SSP. I'm bored with that.

If you've been told to claim universal credit by a certain date, yes, I have. The Department for Work and Pensions are stopping some people's benefits and telling them to claim universal credit instead. Guilty.

Guilty me. I've done it to me. If you get a letter telling you to claim universal credit by a certain deadline, this is a migration notice.

It's weird that I would use a word like that. And you should claim universal credit by the deadline in the migration notice. Your old benefits will stop after the deadline.

You might miss out on some money if you apply after the deadline. So this is weird. So they're saying oh, the new ESA now and the changes won't happen to 2028.

But it's only 2025 now. I think they're making it up as they go along. Check what you should do if you get a migration notice.

So this is what I got today. An immigration notice. They're called legacy benefits.

And so university credit replacement, older benefits. This is what I started on, isn't it? If your letter doesn't have a deadline, it's not a migration notice. You don't have to claim universal credit unless you want to.

Even if the letter says you'll have to claim universal credit in the future. Why are you begging for dinner? You got your dinner down there? Why don't you eat that? So they've basically, yeah, I've got a deadline on mine. So they've given me, what is it now? May, June.

So yeah, beginning of May, beginning of June, beginning of July. Two months, two little bit months. So I filled it in today.

Oh, it's weird. So I don't know how long it takes for the money to come through. That's why that's what I'm thinking.

How long have I got to go? Because when I signed on before, it took it took probably about four or five weeks, maybe before I got anything. And then I only got very, very basic minimum. And it wasn't until yeah, it was quite a long time, quite a good few, good, quite a few months that I got paid the back payment.

Because the back payment was something like two and a half grand, maybe 3000 pound. So it just shows you how long I was waiting. I think it was like, might be nine months, 10 months, nine months, I don't know.

So I got that. And then it went on to its normal amount. So I don't know what quite I don't know how it works from that perspective.

So I filled the form with a line. At the very end, this was very strange. I just threw me off a bit.

Let me say if I log into this now, actually, I'll show I'll show it to you. But I'll, I'll read it out here. Because I was surprised at this, create an account, I'm going to create an account.

When I log into my account, create. Oh, sign into why they can't make things difficult. That's weird.

Hmm. Okay, so username, what's my username? I know what it is. Please.

Okay. Now my that that was my name. Oh, unless it's Oh, good.

Save. Confirm it's here. Blimey, you know, I've got to go.

I mean, it's good to the call is security stuff. But Wow. Okay, what's the code? 9237354796.

One. Here we go. Right, we will call you.

Next steps. So basically, I've got they're not calling me now to do list, right? Journal. Confirm your identity.

So this is the problem. Confirm your identity. And I was like, okay, how? There was no way I could confirm my identity simply because what they were asking for I do not have.

Do not have a driving license. I do not have a up to date passport. Last time I used a passport, passport was over three years ago.

Now I think I don't have any credit card stuff. I haven't got no credit cards. I don't get any bills anymore.

Everything's kind of on just online now. They didn't ask for any bills. It's like, there's nothing there's nothing for me to prove my ID.

Yeah, I've got a council flat that I've had for 10 years. And they know who I am. And they're paying me they've got bank details.

If that's not proof of ID, giving your bank details and I don't know what is. Ironically, at not one point during this whole thing, they asked my national insurance number. That I found interesting.

Because that's a very personal thing. It's a little bit like a prison number. You know, if you go into prison, you now you pretty much just keep the same number.

Or if you however, however many times you go back in the same number. So this is the national insurance number is the same number. Always stays the same.

Mine is FCXYJYJY, hash, hash, hash, groovy fella. So that's my national insurance number and 69 at the end. And I was like, they didn't ask for that.

So I've got them down, they're gonna call me, right? They're gonna call me. We will call you. Calls from us may show on your phone as 0800 number, unknown number, a withheld number.

If you're expecting a call from us, you should answer calls from these numbers. We will make sure that you know the call is genuine or genuine. We cannot proceed with your claim until we have confirmed your identity.

We will call you in the next two to three days to arrange an interview to verify your identity. Don't be asking me to go anywhere. I didn't go anywhere.

You talk to him on the phone. Check information you gave us. If you do not want to wait for a call, you can confirm your identity online.

So let's click that. What does it say? Come on, come on, come on, come on. Confirming your identity checks that it's really you making a claim.

We will help you choose the best ways to do this. You must confirm your, if it's not me, right? They're going to put the money into my bank account. What use is it for someone else? If it's going into my bank account, the same bank account.

So here's, here's what we've got. He here, right? Here's the options. Payslips.

You will need at least two items from a list on this list to verify your identity online. Payslips. I don't have a Payslip.

P60. I don't even not sure what a P60 is. It's something to do with work related.

UK P60. Passport. A valid UK passport.

Nope. A UK driver license. Never driven.

Self assessment. You need your recent self assessment returns. I don't know what that is.

Credit reference. I guess that's what's that self employed or something. Credit references or records.

For example, information about credit cards or phone contracts. I don't, I've just, I don't have these things. I don't know what to say.

I'm very flummoxed. So yeah, that's just how it is now. So I'm gonna have to wait for them.

How ironic would it be? Not, probably irony is possibly not the correct word. But if I wasn't allowed, I wasn't allowed to have any, any help, because they couldn't prove who I was. How ridiculous is that? And I could just say, well, how about I take a photocopy of every letter that you sent me in the last 10 years? I've got them all.

I send them to you. That kind of proves that I am who I am, does it not? Anyway, other than that, everything's groovy. See if I've got any emails, any emails? No.

I'm gonna have myself a toilet and then a bowl of breakfast, a cereal, I think. And then yeah, it's half past four. I've only eaten twice today.

That's good, isn't it? So I woke at 6.30, probably something about 12 or 11, 11-ish. And now, now, well, probably it's 4.30 now. So it's probably going to be more quarter to five, I'd say, before I'm actually munching away.

I need to exercise my hips. I feel like I could, I could be really good. I'd like someone to do some thrusting with, or maybe not thrusting, but do you know, you ever see these videos on YouTube where someone's kind of pushing the person, like stretching them, but helping them stretch.

That's what I kind of think I need. Someone to like hold my legs and just push back gently and maybe push back on my hips, help me to open up a bit. So maybe not thrusting, but maybe pushing forward and they can just push me a little bit more just to open up the joints and stuff.

I think that'd be quite cool. But everyone says no. It's getting to the point where it's becoming embarrassing being on the bus.

I'm just like asking people, you'd think a bus journey would be a good place to try and to meet someone that could help you with some stretching, you know. Maybe a gym. I just need to find a gym that'll allow me in.

Here's a weird thing I nearly did, well actually I did do. Vinnie was on a chair near the bedroom window and normally I've got the curtains drawn a little bit so he can get onto the windowsill. I cooked some sausages.

He wouldn't come in there. He was like in the other room. I don't know, he had a bit of a weird, had been in a bit of a weird mood today.

So what I thought would be funny is if I held the sausage like it was part of my anatomy. So I jumped in the doorway and just wiggling it about and I forgot that the curtains were drawn. There's no net curtains and the lady opposite was in her kitchen.

It's like oh, oh dear. And I just jumped back and hid. Now perhaps I shouldn't have done that and probably made it worse.

But it was literally just a sausage and I gave it to Vinnie. He wouldn't, I had to like break it into little bits for him because he'd been very lazy. But yeah, that was a bit of a weird, a weird one.

Not the weirdest thing that's ever happened but I think probably the weirdest thing is when I was, I had Andre in town and people coming up to me, oh he's so cute and he was just you know wiggling about and all that stuff and I was holding him and I was kind of, this is a long time ago, it's like nine years ago or whatever and I was talking to this female and she seemed to be interested and just talked to me and getting on really well and I'm kind of,

I don't know, not showing off but trying to be, trying to be interested maybe, I don't know if that's possible, and thinking this is going quite well and she starts laughing, she's laughing at my jokes and she's laughing a bit, really laughing at this point and I'm thinking wow this is going really well and then other people start laughing and I'm thinking blimey this is going really well and then I noticed people behind me were laughing and other people at the side of me were like, I looked down because they were pointing,

Vinnie had pooed all down my top and onto my trousers, not Vinnie, Andre sorry, not Vinnie, Andre pretty much and weed and everything like he wanted to go to the toilet but I was holding on to him, didn't realise he needed a toilet and he just let go all over me and I was actually with someone so I was with a woman as well, she was, she thought it was hilarious also but apparently she didn't want a second date, it was weird, I still can't find it funny even now,

it was horrible really, it was in the middle of town, I had no change of clothes and I did go into a public toilet to try and like wash myself off but then it just went from, it just looked like I'd wet myself after that because everything was wet so it looked like I'd just, yeah it was a weird one but it wasn't, it wasn't Andre's fault, it was me, I wasn't reading, wasn't reading what he needed but then he was wiggling about anyway but he kept trying to get down and in the end he,

because with the thing with ferrets is when they need to go they need to go, they don't, like Vinnie will spend 10, 15, 20 minutes looking for somewhere to go to a toilet, Andre they get like a five second notice maybe, 10 seconds sometimes, sometimes even two seconds, it's a really short notice like need to go, go now, Andre, Vinnie is kind of like, yeah he'll spend a good 20 minutes walking up and down the grass finding the correct place, Andre, he'd go in the right place if he could but you know if he,

he couldn't always get to where the paper was, especially if he was on the roof sunbathing, he'd just do it down the chimney so it's all right, I was thinking about that, you know like sending kids up chimneys, I was just thinking about that the other day, because a lot of kids want to do what their parents do don't they, oh can I do it, like no you can't, you're too young, so I'm guessing when parents were cleaning out the chimneys, the little kids are saying oh can I help,

can I help, not realising it was going to lead to a career, but like oh can I help, also probably not realising that they were going to be like sent up the chimney, because you know when they said can I help, they probably thought can I just hold the big stick and get dirty, they didn't think they were going to be put on the end of a stick and shoved up the chimney, so yeah I suppose it was wearing a little brush on a hat with a brush on,

they are kind of like really really tall toilet brushes aren't they, we've still got chimneys here, it's weird there's a chimney over the road, literally on that block over there there's a chimney, now there's 100% no fireplace in there at all, so why is there a chimney I've got no idea, unless I'm going to look, this is going to bug me now if I don't look, so yeah it's definitely a chimney, there's a chimney on a building that's just studio flats, don't know there's no open fires, maybe I guess they used to be,

but would there have been in 1978 when these buildings were built, I don't imagine there'd have been open fires back then, it would have been more just central heating, I don't know, there's definitely a fire like a chimney on top, I guess it's just blocked, I mean when I moved into the, when we moved into the family house in about 1979 was it, there was a chimney in the living room and the bedroom upstairs which was their parents bedroom, so there was a chimney, I think they blocked the one in the bedroom,

there might have even been one in the other one which would also be the room next to it as well, but we had the one, we had the chimney in the living room, the chimney, we had the fireplace, the open fireplace actually active in the winter and stuff, I just love it, love the open fire, that was lovely, yeah, I did, I wonder if we had one in the other room, I think it was just one room that was really nice, it was just really comfy, cozy, cozy, smoky, stuffy,

but it was nice, I don't know if they got outlawed, I don't know if it was, if we had to stop using them, because when I used to go to Nottingham, I had this friend that lived there and he had everywhere, there was a coal in, like a mining village and everyone had these wood burners in these places and well coal as well, but they'd have these things that would be on all day long and like, yeah, I think it was quite nice, yeah, such a lovely house, Vinnie,

I don't know what you want, right, I better go, so yeah, that's just basically what's happening, that's the update, I had this little thing I played with, I thought, okay, I should rewrite that, I had this idea, maybe just come off the benefits and just say, okay, I need to, I need to have enough money coming in to pay everything and just put it to the universe, just like, put it out there and say, I need, this is what I need, I need to pay my rent, need to eat,

need to pay the bills and in return I will make regular recordings, but I don't know, I'm not sure if the universe is listening all the time, I like to think it is, that is one of the, one of the rules of the secret, one of the rules of the manifestation thing is, or the think and grow rich, which is where all that stuff kind of comes from, stop squeaking, the idea is, you do something, you cut all the, you basically cut the ties, not ties from people, but you,

you stop being able to go back, so it'd be the same as, you know, you go somewhere and you can't return, you have to keep going regardless and stopping my benefits or not renewing them would be like that, so a sink or swim sort of situation, I don't know, I had a thought about it, I'd definitely feel a lot better about myself if I was, if this was, if I was able to pay my own way and, you know, do it, you know, by doing this, but I don't know,

I don't know, he's hassling me, I'm pretty sure he didn't used to be like this, he's now begging, are you hungry, stick your tongue out if you're hungry, do you want some food, he's turning his head from side to side, he's so cute, do you want some food, Lenny, are you hungry, are you hungry, noodles, Archie, see they're the two words, if I say Archie, what about Uncle Eric, Uncle Eric, who, pig me, no, wasn't interested in that one, Uncle Alex, Uncle Eric, Archie, noodles, yeah, he does,

he turns his head a bit more for those, hey, go away, go away, Vinnie, you are so cute, Vinnie, although he's, he's a proper snorer, Vinnie is, snores a lot, don't you, do you want to go in the garden and do wee-wees, but we haven't been out ever since, okay, let's do that, I will thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy, and be gentle with yourself, because you deserve to feel safe, lots of love, bye, should we go in the garden and do wee-wees,

do you want to do a wee-wee as well, come on, let's go and do it with me, come on, let's do the wee-wees, and they've cut the grass out there, which means we'll be able to see all the other dog poo out there as well, brilliant, bye.