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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland and today is Sunday's Papers. It's Sunday's Papers! Yeah! So that's what I'm going to be doing today.
Although, from the looks of this, order opening. What am I doing? That's weird. I don't think, I think I've opened the wrong thing.
Damn it. I'm looking at press reader which is, I'm not actually, I don't have press reader. Read with premium.
No! No! Right. So let's get out of that. So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
I'm on my tablet just looking for the papers. What do I normally use? Not press reader. What is it? Readly.
Readly. That's it. Newth Papers.
So, you've got a treat, you've got these, I've got no more of those treats though Vinnie. He's hassling me for treats. So today is Sunday the 8th of December.
Just to let you know, basic, basic stuff. Oh! No! Whenever I put in Jason, Friday the 13th always comes up. And just to let you know my website is jasonnewland.com. I also have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group.
My YouTube channel is at Jason Newland. My background music that I have on these recordings are from Kevin MacLeod, it's called Deep Relaxation. His website is Incompetech.com. Those details are on my website and there's a few things on my website that are useful but the main thing is it's now a podcast so every day that I release a new recording it becomes available on my website.
So my website is a podcast. So it's a good place to find or listen to my stuff. You can listen, you can also listen at different speeds.
You can also download the recording and I do six different versions, three without music, three with music. There are various links from normal length, five hours and ten hours. Also on the website you can contact me, you can write a review, there's also a Q&A Friday link where you can ask me a question for the future Q&A Friday.
That's all that boring stuff out of the way. Wow has it been windy, like really windy. Not just a bit windy but truly, truly windy.
Not just a bit truly windy but like proper wow. In fact it's dropped the temperature by quite a lot. I don't think it was even cold outside but with that wind it was proper cold.
My little hands and fingers were just, they were just moaning, take me back home, it was really cold. So wow, well look at this, Andrek's Classic Clean Washlets, 12 packs. Flushabook Toilet Tissue Wipes, £12 for 12, that's a pound each, that's pretty good.
And you've got Colgate Total Original Toothpaste, 4 x 100ml, £9, I don't know, 4 so it's £2 No, it's £2, 4, 6, 8, so it's £1.25 each, but 100ml, is that big, is that big or is it small, I don't know, I'm looking at Amazon, I need to get some socks. Did you know I haven't worn socks for nearly a year, it's true.
In fact, over a year, no, nearly a year, I just remember because I kicked the wall when I was in bed by accident, well not on purpose, well not that I didn't go to kick the wall but I did go to kick something, I think it was about January time, maybe February but that kind of time, probably January, February time, and I was dreaming that this thing was coming, it was chasing me and I turned around and kicked it, decided that actually the force of it coming towards me and then me kicking would be like double the force,
so I proper kicked it and I heard a scream and I realised it was me screaming, I woke up and I'd broken my toe, my big toe and wow, and maybe cracked a few other little bones in my foot as well, I was out of action for a couple of months with that stuff limping, but I couldn't get my socks on, so I still had to go out because of this little one, I still had to take him out multiple times a day, so I just didn't have any socks because they were too tight,
too constricting, too difficult to put on, and since then, apart from visiting my dad at the end of August, or the middle of August rather, that was the only time in the entire year I think that I've worn socks, I think, although I've got a mild memory of wearing socks recently, but it's a very mild and very bubbly memory, it's kind of hmm, because I've got a pair of socks on a chair in the bedroom, now it's either a recent peeling off of my feet, you know,
I wear them socks and I just chuck them on the chair, otherwise I've been here since August, which isn't long, it's only four months, the neighbours are complaining about the smell, but it's fine, it's normal, I think it's the socks, so yeah, I don't know, why am I talking about my breaking my toe on, oh yeah, I'm thinking about, I noticed today that my feet were cold, I'm feeling the cold a little bit more this year because I've lost weight, I think that's what it is, the insulation,
I guess the blubber isn't keeping me as unaffected by the cold as it did last year, because I've lost over a stone, yeah, plus I have not shaved my head, my hair's actually getting a little bit out of order, I have to wear a hat, I have to wear a hat even if it's not cold, I have to wear a hat now, because of my hair, it's getting a little bit hmm, you know, a little bit hmm, a bit just, I need something done to it, now I do have broil cream,
and when I look at my hair, I think about my grandad, and I'm thinking, like the sides are a little bit like his hair used to get when it got a bit long, see he used to have his hair back, and I think he used, well if your hair, some kind of hair cream, whether it's broil cream, I don't know, and I used to use broil cream in my, I don't know what you want to call them, but my, in my late 20s, into my early 30s, I used to use broil cream,
I always had quite a short hair, but I had it back, and one particular person at work, when I worked in insurance, whenever he spoke to me, he stared at my hairline, he just couldn't take his eyes off my hairline, okay, I'm receding a little bit, I'm not doing too bad, considering my age, I don't think, I'm going to keep using that excuse until I'm 130, I'm not doing too bad, I've only pooped myself three times today, not doing too bad for my age, 130, wow, can you imagine,
all those box sets I could watch, I get through quite a few, yeah, so this week really, it's another end into a week, I got, yeah, I got a fair bit done, I made some recordings, I don't know how many, how many recordings did I do this week, anyone?
I don't know, oh brilliant, right, so the, that's weird, the old logging in is, it's not filling the stuff like normal, I don't know, so I did Monday, I did Tuesday, I don't know what a password is, the problem, do you notice that, the problem with the, you know when it fills it in itself, and you get so used to it, filling it in, filling the password and everything, that now, I forget what a password is, do do do do do, I don't know, so I definitely did a Monday,
definitely did Tuesday, I think I did Wednesday, I definitely did Friday, I didn't do yesterday, right, it's not letting me log in, I don't know what my password is then, it's logged me out, oh, that's a little bit alarming, yeah, so let's have a look, I did Monday, what was it Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, so I did Sunday papers last Sunday, I did, I did Monday, but it was called I need a boring objects, not an, it should be I need a boring object, but for some reason I put objects,
Tuesday, trivia Tuesday, so 1200, 1248, let me go to sleep, and that's a third, didn't do anything Wednesday, but on Thursday, my dating prowess, I did, and then Q&A Friday on Friday, so Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, I did five out of seven days, that's not bad, it's not too bad really, I think I did discover something the other day, that I kind of knew, but every now and then I get reminded, if I have too much activity, see too many people, it drains me, like a real,
you know, I mean, I just had one of those days when I was getting people knocking on the door, kind of, and I probably saw about four or five different people in one day, and I was just like, oh, that's too much, weird, I used to be around hundreds of people in a day, when I was younger, and never bothered me, well, I'm not saying never bothered me, but it never, I didn't, I didn't seem to be affected as much by it, when I was really young, although,
even when I was at school, I went through periods, when I would hide, I don't mean in a cupboard, but I would hide and read a book, so I went, it was a mood thing, so I went through this period, when every now and then, I would, when I was older, I could just leave school, and go home for lunch, but what I did in, I was in this, I can't remember what the room is, was it a science room, but I was in, for my period room, period room,
you know, I forget what it's called, but I had to go there at the beginning of the day, and then go back after lunch, and then go back in the afternoon, so it was just like, where they do the register and stuff, I used to sit outside, because there was a back door with stairs, and I used to sit out there, and read Star Trek books, and people used to come and find me, like, go away, this, I didn't, just, I didn't want them to find me, I was hiding,
I think it was confusing, it was confusing to me as well, you know, why aren't you like, why are you different from the way you were, the way you was yesterday, or the day before, I don't know, oh, he's, he's hungry, he's got a bit of a, he's eating his dry food, is it time you had your dinner, would you like some pedigree chum, or some Pals, there you go, no, it's really weird, when he doesn't want it, he just turns his face away, like a stubborn child, refusing to eat his broccoli,
I've got the window open, so the neighbours are outside, talking at their very highest volume, listen, it's weird, there you go Vin, do you want that, oh, good girl, right, I should start the recording really, shouldn't I, so where was I, where am I doing, what am I doing, I'm just kind of trying to do a summary of today, or this week, but I can't really remember what's happened this week, so Sunday Mirror, so the Sunday people, OK, so that's just, GKMyJungleTacker, they like to talk about TV shows like Strictly,
so I'm kind of bothered, Rainer, so this is Deputy PM Angela Rainer, will this week tell councils to build more social homes, as she announces major plans to unlock the clocked up planning system, hundreds of thousands of social rent homes were lost under the Tories, blah, blah, blah, so around 1.3 million people are on social housing waiting lists, and almost 160,000 children are in temporary accommodation, wow, they said something that they want to build 1.5 million homes, the government, they're going to build 1.5 million homes in England by 2029,
hope they do, that'd be cool, so what's that, Kevin runs to a million, rugby league legend Kevin Sinfield has raised more than 1 million for the people, formerly, OK, cool, so that's nice, hire and their hair, right, they're making fun, stop making fun of people, newspapers, Prince William held a private meeting with Donald Trump in Paris yesterday, the Prince of Wales, 42, who is in the city to celebrate the reopening of Notre Dame Cathedral, is believed to have discussed the importance of the UK-US special relationship with the American President-elect,
he also met US First Lady Jill Biden, more than, OK, it's a separate sentence, more than 1 billion has been spent on refurbishing Notre Dame, which was gutted by a fire in 2019, almost, also among the 50 heads of state invited by French Premier Emmanuel Macron was Ukraine's leader Volodymyr Zelensky, Mr Trump said Mr Macron had done a wonderful job ensuring Notre Dame has been restored to full glory.
I don't remember when that all went up, 5 years ago, so according to this, the Royals spring into Christmas, the King and Queen, OK, have chosen a photo of themselves in the garden of Buckingham Palace to appear on their official Christmas cards, the photo taken by Millie Pilkington in April shows that, it's not a Christmas card, is it, if it's spring, why can't you have like, be making a snowman or something like that, that's Christmassy, it's not really Christmassy, because I don't think it's ever, wherever I've lived,
it's never snowed on Christmas Day, it always snows somewhere on Christmas Day, but not where I lived, there has been snow on the ground, so technically, technically, you could say that that's a white Christmas, but it hasn't actually snowed on the actual day, I think the last time it would, the only time I ever remember there being snow on Christmas Day, like I mean on the ground, that is, not from the sky, I know it originally came from the sky, but it was on the ground already before Christmas and it was in 2000,
Christmas 2007, I just moved into my student accommodation place, if you want to call it that, and I, yeah, I moved in, in the November and it was, I think it was the most snow we'd had in a long time, yeah, it's a lot of snow, because I literally just only moved there, been there a little while and everything was a bit new and exciting, you know, okay, new, after nearly three long weeks, two, I don't know, did Colleen win the jungle thing, I don't know, Barry on,
I don't know who the jungle people are, I don't know who won, Fern to shine in jungle, I was so close to quitting, who won, who actually won, anyone know, Starmer pressures to call out gulf states on human rights, tragic, okay, Free Bumper Christmas TV Magazine, you know what, years ago, and I'm talking, probably the last time would be in 2000 and before I had streaming, before I started streaming things, so I would say probably, before I moved here, because when I moved here, I got sky, never had sky before,
and suddenly I had all these channels, and it was pretty cool, but got loads of channels anyway, now I've got free view and stuff, but before that, so that was 2015, so I reckon 2014 Christmas was the last time I got the TV times, because you've got the radio times, I think they're still available, the radio times and the TV times, and at Christmas, they do, I think they do two weeks worth of TV, and in the past, it would just be the four channels, well, five channels, from 97 onwards,
it was five channels, and it was easier to manoeuvre, because, you know, just five channels, now, they sort of post all the different channels, so it's quite hard, I think, but I haven't bought one for years, because there's no need, especially now, I suppose it's good to know what to, blimey, it's probably, yeah, a policeman, I don't know if it's a policeman or an ambulance in the background, Tasha feels like she's won already, this is Tasha Gouri in Strictly Come Dancing, I don't watch that show, Jason Beattie, just have a look,
next, Rugby legend, Kev Storms it, Rugby legend Kevin Sinfield battles Storm Dara, because we name our storms now, to complete his 230 mile Nationwide run yesterday to raise funds for charity, 230 miles, because the thing is, we're such a tiny country, you can run from one end of the country in about half an hour, we're tiny, honestly, blimey, I can't run, I wouldn't even run for the bus, I had an opportunity recently to run for the bus, and I didn't take it, because I wasn't sure, I really wasn't sure,
you know, I was waiting for a bus, and then I went around the corner, thought I'd try and get a different bus, there's more buses go past that bus stop, and as I crossed the road, the bus went past me, and it did stop, and not only was someone getting off, someone was waiting to get on, and I would have needed to run for probably 10 seconds, and I wasn't sure, yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't confident in my ability to, it's not, it's not just, it's not just a fitness thing,
it's just when I run, I look like a dolphin trying to breakdance, it's not a good sight, really not, what have we got here, oh god, blimey, so, warm home tops wishlist, actually I've got a friend who, she lives in a flat just over the road, and her flat's bigger than mine, it's a two bedroom flat, it is bigger, but it doesn't seem to get warm, my flat gets warm, and I'm wondering, it might be the soundproofing I've got on the walls, perhaps keeps the heat in a bit,
so I've always got the window open, my TV lets off a fair bit of heat as well, but it's not cold in here very often, in my living room anyway, and it's lit, oh, did I tell you I had the windows fixed, that was the day that I was proper busy, and it was too much, too much stuff, too many people, yeah, I just got a phone call out of the blue, because I had reported the windows being broken to the council, I got a phone call from a man saying,
do you want to, are you OK for me to come and do them now, I said, yeah, I think I might have said it just like that, yeah, please, and he came and did it, and I was, yeah, it was that day, because I was waiting for a food delivery, and I was just, honestly, I had a food delivery, the neighbour asked me to look after our kid, there was visitors, knocks at the door, it was like, just so many things, all at the same time, well, not all at the same time,
but like, eventually, which is the opposite to all at the same time, I suppose, but he came along, and I thought that the kitchen window was broken, that one of them is broken, but the other one, I thought, because I struggled to open it, but the fact is, I don't need to open it now, because the other one is fixed, but I went to show him that it couldn't open, and it opened really easily, which is a little bit annoying, because I couldn't open it, I couldn't close it,
it kept jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, I want to jam in with you, so it was cold in the kitchen, because the window was open the whole time, it was like hanging open, it's not now, it's now been fixed, and in the bedroom, in the kitchen rather, the window couldn't close either, it wasn't hanging open like the bedroom, like the kitchen one, but the bathroom one was, I mean, that's the place you least want it to be cold, I think, apart from any other room that you don't want to be cold,
but you know, this having to get undressed and stuff, so I got that fixed, and it's not cold in there anymore really, the heater needs checking, it needs, the heater needs something done to them, and the radiator in the hallway has fallen apart, and I've reported it, but I've not heard anything back, according to the council, all the flats in this area are going to get new windows and new kitchens, maybe even new bathrooms, I don't know, so it's all going to happen over time, but there's thousands of properties,
so it could take years, but my neighbour opposite me, he's getting new windows put in soon, they came round to measure up the other day, and a neighbour downstairs is getting a new kitchen, they're going to be doing a new kitchen for us soon, and my other neighbour over the road, she had a new kitchen put in, in the summer, so they are getting around to doing it, bit by bit, so that'll be cool, maybe next year they might do some stuff, maybe might have done it all, who knows,
who knows, I don't know, they might do, they might not do, it was good to have it done though, to get the windows fixed, so I put it off, because in the summer it didn't matter, I didn't need the windows to be closed in the summer, it was, because it was summer, but once the cold hit, it was like, ooh, ooh, it's been like that for a while as well, because last year, I would get something, cook it, it'd be out of the oven, or microwave a meal,
I'd put it on the top, and sometimes it'd be almost cold before I got it into the living room, because it was that cold inside, in the kitchen, plus I turned the radiator off, because I'm never in there, I am in there sometimes in the kitchen, but when I am in there, other than washing up, or putting food in the cupboards, it's, the oven's on, or there's some heating, you know, something creating heat, so I don't have the radiator on in the kitchen, it's off all the time,
the radiator in the bathroom only heats a part of the bottom bit, doesn't, the top doesn't heat, but I've reported it, but I don't know if, if they reported it to anyone, what I also need to do is get a, get some kind of new bath put in, because, because of my, I know, I sound really old, I'm not as old as I sound, actually, I'm much younger than I sound, because obviously I've got a super sexy, sexy young voice, obviously, I'm not as, I'm not as old as I sound,
my dear, I, because of my lower back, see I'm trying to not get into that zone of moaning about ailments that people, some people get into when they get a bit older, continuously talking about, this is wrong with me, that's wrong with me, let me tell you about my toes, let me tell you about my knee, and you know, just like on and on and on, I don't want to do that, however, let me tell you about my back, I just, it's a struggle to, I don't have great movement,
or flexibility with my back, my lower back, due to the arthritis, so that's it, it's not, see I'm not moaning about it, I'm just, just, there's certain facts, and it's weird, because I'm still fairly strong, not super strong, but I've still got some strength, and I can lift stuff, but I just can't bend, I can bend, but it hurts, and so I try to avoid doing much in the way of bending, which will, it's a bit difficult, because I got a delivery the other day, a food delivery, and it came in crates,
and it's the first time in years, I think, that I've had a delivery in crates, like from a supermarket, because normally I get them from Amazon, and Amazon do use Morrisons, so it is a supermarket, but it costs more, but they do deliver in brown paper bags, I don't think the colour is really relevant, but they're in paper bags, so it's minimal bending, I'm having a bone, the thing is, with the crates, I had to bend over, probably 20 times, 15 times, 24 times, I don't know, however many items I had to keep,
I had to keep bending over, twice, bending over, then put it into a bag, and then putting the bag down, it's like, yeah, at the end of it, I, yeah, I didn't enjoy it, although, financially, it's a much better deal to get stuff directly from the supermarket, than from Amazon, because, although I still had to pay a £5 delivery charge, the items were cheaper, everything was cheaper, than, you know, I got way more, and there's more choice, because, whether it's Tesco, or Sainsbury, they have their own brand,
and they have sort of really cheap stuff, which, see, because I haven't, my friend got some stuff as well, so I ordered stuff for her, and she got some, what did she get, okay, puffed wheat, have you seen sugar puffs, they're not called sugar puffs anymore, they're called puffed wheat, or something, no, sugar puffs are one of the most famous breakfast cereals, in this country, the sugar puffs are on me, remember that, and, is that the right thing, no, tell them, oh yeah, honey, that's it, sugar puffs are on me,
it's just a, I don't know, what was that, what was that called, cornflakes, not crunching up cornflakes, but the other one, frosted cornflakes, or something, the honey, the sugar's on me, the sugar's on me, or something, ah, but, sugar puffs used to have, like a bear, a bear kind of character saying, telling about the honey mummy, no, telling about the honey mummy, so he was the honey monster, I don't know if the honey monster's still involved, or whether he retired, because he's been gone a long time,
I hope he got a good pension, but they changed the name, so no longer sugar puffs, I think they're called, they might be called honey puffs, they've changed the name, and my friend thought, you know what, it's going to cost less than half the price to get Sainsbury's home brand honey puff, kind of, the equivalent, but Sainsbury's home brand, and I said, are you sure, she said, yeah, I said, okay, so she got it, and she said, you probably, do you want to test them, because you probably won't like them,
I said, I don't know, let's have a go, I've not had any sugar puffs for, so quite a while, probably a couple of years, if not more, and I do occasionally, I've, in fact, it might have been less than two years, I treat myself, it's not really much for breakfast, though, I found, because it's sugary, and yeah, but anyway, my friend, she got this home brand honey puffs, and she ate them, and said, they're nothing like they used to be, not sweet anymore, she chucked a few in my hand,
she didn't chuck them, but she poured them into my hand, I ate them, and they tasted fine, because I haven't been eating sugar, so to me, they tasted sweet, that story wasn't quite as exciting as I thought it was going to be, I think I misjudged the audience this time, the very first time, it tasted alright, though, but I don't know, because I try and have very basic breakfast cereal, apart from the Redi-Brek, which I love, and I know it might not be the best thing to eat,
but I do love that, and I don't have sugar on any of my breakfast cereals anymore, or in my tea, I just have sugar cubes, you know, separate as a snack, if it's ok for horses, it's got to be alright for me, isn't it, I'm very similar to a horse, I can poo standing up, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Source code, Heinz Ketchup is catching up with technology because tomatoes, for the nation's favourite sauce, are now chosen by robots, oh robots, I thought it was people called a robot, since 1876, the fruit going into the famous bottles, Right, regardless of the fact that a tomato is a fruit, it's not is it,
it's a vegetable, if it goes into a salad, it's a vegetable, it's a fruit, it's a tomato, it's a fruit, I don't care, we all know that it's not a fruit, Even though it is, can we just agree, they put stuff in the newspaper, almost, let's educate people, let's let them know it's a fruit, it's going to blow their minds, I don't care, it's a vegetable, And people have such arguments, don't they, like a whale is a fish, I don't care, it's a fish, if you live, it's a fish,
it's shaped like a fish, it lives in the sea, it's a fish, it's not like it lives in the sea, so does an octopus, no, But an octopus isn't shaped like a fish, it doesn't have fins, it doesn't have a tail, it's not shaped, it's a fish shape, you can't get any more fish shape than a whale, OK, it looks more like a submarine, but that's because we copied the whale to make submarines, isn't it, I think, He thinks a whale is a fish, dolphins, they're fishes, like if a whale is not a fish,
OK, come on, let's take it bowling, let's take it to the ice rink, give it an office job, see how long it lasts, it's a fish, Yeah, but it doesn't breathe underwater, it can hold its breath for like 17 hours, you don't need to breathe underwater if you can do that, I wouldn't even need to breathe underwater if I did that, like, oh, I've just got to pop upstairs for a bit just to get a bit of oxygen, when have you got to go, there's no hurry,
any time in the next few hours will be fine, maybe tomorrow is OK, It's just like, for a whale, breathing is like us ordering our weekly shopping, you know, you're not worried about eating, like you've got on a Tuesday, you're going to run out of food on a Friday, so you've got a delivery coming, maybe Friday morning or Thursday evening, on a Tuesday, you're not worried because you've got the delivery coming, And it's the same with whales, they're sitting at the bottom of the ocean, smoking a cigar, watching the latest episode of,
I don't know, what would a whale watch, maybe whale watch, maybe they're watching David Attenborough, A Shark's Tale, maybe they'd like that movie, I don't know, The thing is, if you had a television underground, would you still be able to hear, underground, underwater, would you still be able to hear the volume, would you be able to hear it, or would you need signing, because we don't know, maybe whales can sign, they might not be able to sign, but they might be able to read signing,
I can't see how they could actually do the signing themselves, but they might be able to read signing, And here's a question on the subject of signing, if someone does signing in English, does someone who does signing in German or French or Russian or, you can pick any country in the world where it's a different language, Chinese, do they have, is it the same, not the universal, but just if it's in their own language, the signing, would you be able to go to India and sign with someone and have them understand,
because if that is the case, why aren't we all taught to sign at school, from an early age, like an international, because there's a whole thing, we should have an international language, signing can be an international language, see, I've changed the world in one sentence, it's amazing, isn't it?
Sauce code, tomato sauce, so this is kind of a positive, yet maybe not as positive, ultimately it's an advert for Heinz ketchup, tomato ketchup, because it's got a big picture of it, and underneath dollop of AI goes into sauce, I think they used AI to put that on there, tomato farm in Badajoz, AI gadget powered gadgets at Heinz's tomato farm in Badajoz, southwest Spain, works twice as fast as humans, and can tell where the fruit is at it's juiciest, they even take care of watering, adding nutrients to the soil,
and protecting crops from extreme weather, it means Heinz can now harvest 50% more tomatoes than ever before, and keep our store shelves permanently stocked, Spokeswoman Monica Souza said, we've doubled yields through improved marketing and farming and blah blah blah, we've doubled yields through improved farming, and a better management of irrigation, my accents are terrible aren't they?
Nutrients, crop protection, soil preparation and optimised harvesting, around 600 million bottles of the red stuff are sold in Europe every year, the UK market is worth 172.9 million, with more than 20 million of us buying Heinz ketchup last year, more farmers are turning to AI, and Wimbledon strawberries are now tended by high-tech sensors, and a new tool is being developed to predict fruit harvests from photographs, and it continues, the AI domination, the AI takeover continues.
Oh look, Paris Fury's, oh it's Titan Fury's wife, Paris Fury, celebrates her 35th birthday, mum of seven, party debts, that's absolutely dreadful isn't it, ok, alright, that's just a picture of her wearing a dress, cool. That fight is, did they say the date for the fight, there's always a little advert isn't it, yep, prepares for his fight against Oleksandr Usyk on December 21st, I do find it interesting, there's always this little adverts intertwined.
What we're looking at here, Christmas tree, Christmas is here, and we've teamed up with Tim Hortons, delicious French vanilla drink, to kick-start that festive feeling, Tim Hortons, what's Tim Hortons? They're spreading holiday cheer throughout December, with love from Tim's, a season of little treats, and heart-warming surprises, I've no idea, what, Tim, I don't know what Tim Hortons, what is it, is it coffee? Tim Hortons at, I don't, anyone?
I don't know, French vanilla drink, so there's a go-to-the-front-counter or drive-through window at your nearest Tim Hortons store, I don't even know what a Tim's Hortons store is, I understand what a store is, but what's Tim Hortons, is it, is it a coffee place? I've got no idea, alright, there's stuff, what else have we got, Snoop's half-baked idea, so this is Snoop Dogg, what is he now, in his 60's isn't he?
It's kind of weird, it's weird that Snoop Dogg, he was like this big, this bad boy in the 90's, and now he's almost, wow, it was just, I had to stop there for a second, some dogs in the background were proper barking, really loud, so Vinnie joined in, bless him.
So yeah, I think Snoop Dogg wants to be, he's possibly going to be the new, the new judge on Masterchef, okay, now what, it's just weird because he was this bad boy in the 90's and now he's, he's almost like, I was going to say as cuddly as Bill Cosby, but that's probably not a good example, but you know kind of that lovable figure that Bill Cosby was?
In the 90's. Why can't you have said a different person? I don't, yeah I suppose, I try to think, he's just, he's almost like he's cool, like just funny and cool and just loved, a lovable person, that's what I meant.
It'd be great to get around the piano and make a little something because she has the most beautiful voice, hard to argue with that, she tells me she personifies that female empowerment, empowerment, one day I'll be able to talk, we were talking about, what empowerment were we talking about? I love that she can just change it up because you never want to feel stifled as an artist, so this is Emily, I don't know who Emily is, who's Emily?
Emily, oh I've done it again, right, so it's the other page that I've not got to, Emily inspired to go it alone, Emily Sundays has been inspired to start her own label by fellow female powerhouse Beyonce, Ray and Kate Nash. I remember Emily Sunday, she was, had a huge album, really, really big album and then, I mean she's, she just, it's not like she disappeared, it's just she just wasn't around, I don't know why, in fact it's made me want to listen to her album now.
I'll write her name down, oh no I haven't got a pen, oh sorry, Emily, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do, right brilliant the pen's out, oh I've got another three, making a lot of noise.
Emily Sundays, this table probably needs screwing to fit it because you hear it squeaking, weird. My pre-love party season, Corrie star Kim has echo Xmas, Coronation Street's Kimberley Cart Hart Simpson is dreaming of a green Christmas and urging folk, we don't use that, why are you using the word folk, we don't use that in this country but hey, they're using it for some reason, folk to wear second hand clobber to festive parties.
The Actress 37, mind your own business, thank you, let's move on, what have you got to do with what everyone wears at a party, because she's on telly.
I'm now a spokesman for everybody, I'm going to teach people, stop it, leave me alone, if I want to, I'll wear what I want to wear at my Christmas party. Ok, I've never been to a Christmas party but if I ever did go to one, I'm going to wear what I want, and you'll be telling me, you should go to the second hand shop, no they're not called that, they're called charity shops, anyway it's not second hand, no it's pre-loved, shut up, second hand.
Flea market, you know it's like, basically people don't get rid of stuff they like, they get rid of stuff they don't want anymore, soiled, maybe not literally but stuff that's damaged or cracked or they just don't like it anymore, they don't want it, who gets rid of good stuff? Or as they say, one person's junk is another person's treasure, no, one person's junk is another person's junk that they can afford, it's basically what one person can afford to give away, another person might be able to afford to buy, you can't say that, some of the best things I've ever had have been junk.
I always thought flea market was because the stuff was so horrible and disgusting, it was literally covered in fleas, that's what I used to think, until about a month ago. Two fur, ooh win, double bingo, I work in a second hand shop, I work in a charity shop, it's all good stuff, I'm sure it is, I'm just messing about, junk. Pit bull set to be transformed, a former coal mine could be converted into a quarry extracting millions of tonnes of limestone, I volunteered in a second hand shop or charity shop, and they had me sorting out the coat hangers, I didn't like it so I never went back.
Now I'm not sure if I had the correct kind of, I'm not sure I was embracing the charity mentality, but I was in the back, for me I wanted to be involved but it was partly to get myself out, to see people, and I wasn't seeing anyone, I was in the back, doing stuff in the back was bigger than the front, and it was just boring.
The same as when I worked in the, I volunteered in, there we go, he's going to talk about all the places he volunteered, there's a hero, if you look inside his pants, no, I'm not going to say I'm a hero, this is what I genuinely done, I volunteered at the, not the spa, I did volunteer at the soup kitchen twice actually, but that's a separate thing, hero, shush, it was the food bank, twice as well actually there, because they moved so I was there at the original place and I went to the one that they moved to a bit closer,
the thing is, I struggled with the physical side of it, because there was quite a bit of bending, again, it's not really for me anymore, bending over, but I tried to explain to them that I'm more of a, probably be better to someone, to be front of the house, they could, you know, just to greet people and give them their food and that would probably be more suitable for me, because I thought that would get me out of any of the hard work, but it didn't, it really didn't,
but I quite liked it, I got on very, very well with the lady who worked there, who was in charge, she was a manager, she moved away, but I, so I was with her from, I think probably a couple of months leading up to Christmas in 2014, and then I had some time off because of bereavement and then, I just kind of didn't really feel it anymore to be honest, but she was lovely, she was really nice, got on really well with her, but yeah, she moved, yeah, that's right,
because that was before it moved to the new place, and when I went back to see if they needed anyone in the new place, he said, no, we've got enough people, thanks, bye, it's like, okay, now admittedly, you know, I walked in the front, the man that was there, I didn't, I was offering my services, and you know, okay, I wasn't expecting, I wasn't expecting him to serenade me, you know, I wasn't expecting him to sort of stop everything, wait a minute, to go outside, and all these lights come on,
and sort of shining at me, and he's on the microphone saying, look at this man, he's volunteered, he's volunteered, everyone come over and worship his feet, I didn't expect that, acknowledgement, and just a mild bit of, oh, kindness, maybe a little bit, but it's like, I had no time to even, he didn't even look at me, didn't even, I mean, I was dressed as Christmas tree fairy, but that's besides the point, I actually had the top of a Christmas tree sticking out of my bum, but he couldn't see that from where I was standing, but the tiara and little wand, but what am I talking about, why do I say stuff like this?
Right, Colleen Nolan, Colleen Nolan is embracing being single again, after splitting from her partner, so, why are you telling us? Right, what's this? Is that her daughter? If that is her daughter, she don't half look like, not Colleen, but one of her sisters, one of Colleen's sisters, because they was, were they Boney M or something, weren't they?
Blimey, daughter Chiara, she looks more like one of her sisters than her, I used to fancy Colleen, when I was a kid, like, literally, I was a kid and she's, she's 59, so she's only a few years older than me, but she was in a group with her sisters, I think it was Abba, and they, they were quite big in the UK and I think in Ireland and maybe Europe, and one of the songs was, was it, I'm in the mood for dancing, feel like romancing, do do do do night away,
I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood, let's dance, come on and dance, oh dance, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, dance, come on and dance, Oh, on this day, in 1975, in the UK, Bohemian Rhapsody was number one by Queen, number two, You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate, number three, The Trail of the Lonesome Pine featuring Chill Willis, Laura and Hardy with the Aviation Boys featuring, what?
That's a, that's a lot of words, Money Honey by Bay City Rollers, what year was it? 1975, so I'll be five, All Around My Hat by Steely Span, Nana is the saddest word, Nana, the stylists, Money Honey, Money Honey, the Bay City Rollers, It's no money, how we don't honey anymore, The Old Heart, This Old Heart of Mine, This old heart of mine, ain't gonna change a thing, ain't gonna do the way, I am saving, I am saving, This old heart of mine, this old heart of mine, this old heart of mine, this old heart of mine, this old heart of mine, this old heart of mine,
So that's Rod Stewart, Show Me You're a Woman by Mud, I'm not sure how that would go down these days, that title, I think that was, Show Me You're a Woman, a Woman, a Woman, Show Me You're a Woman, a Woman, a Woman, a Woman, a Woman, Let's Twist Again by Chubby Checker, So let's twist again, the twist, let's twist again, like we did last summer, oh let's twist again, like we did last year, oh do you remember when, things were really humming, Oh let's twist again, twistin' time is here,
and then the twist, do the twist, I just whistled then, and number 10 is Imagine, was that the first time he released Imagine in 1975, so I wonder if it was before he got to number 1 or after he got to number 1, questions, answers on a postcard, An officer who tried to dig finds a Lux Roman Villa. Detectorists helped unearth a luxury Roman villa with an outdoor pool.
A later full-scale excavation of the site found a 35-metre house, columns, mosaics, and a bathhouse. Dr Dennis Wilding of Teffont Archaeology, which ran the dig in Wilshire's Chalk Valley, said the owners were probably local elites, who were clearly trying to tie themselves into quite a Roman way of living. The finds will be analysed, then moved to Salisbury Museum.
These are cakes, you know, even if I can see a picture of a cake, and even if I know that it's horrible, well like, you know, for my taste buds, it's something that I find horrible, not very nice, I still want to eat it, when I see a picture, I still want it, mmm, mmm, mmm, yum, yum, yum, yum, like coconut, I don't really, I don't cherish coconut, I don't really have strong emotional feelings towards coconut, I find it hard to swallow, that's the main thing really,
it's like one of those things you chew and chew and chew, it's just, it is really just, I guess, I'm trying to think of something that would be a similar kind of thing that you chew, I suppose it's like trying to eat a packet of crackers without any water, it's just, you need some water, you need liquid, even though the taste, I love the taste of coconut, that kind of milky, I love the coconut, I do, I genuinely do, in fact, I've never been so excited about telling you the truth before,
but I can't swallow this, well I can swallow it, because I have, but I just, I'm just like, I'm chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing and just gets, it seems a little bit pointless, although, not that it's going to make any difference to my life, apparently, coconut is, could be a bit of an aphrodisiac, did you know that? Yep, personally, it's of no, nothing, it wouldn't help me, but, because I'm impotent, if anyone's interested in dating me, oh, oh, oh, don't worry about the impotence, honestly, just, just get in contact.
Fiona Duffy has tried over 100 alcohol free alternatives, here she reveals her festive faves. I don't really see the point in alcohol alternatives, really, I just never have, and I had a bit of an alcohol issue a few years ago, and I just, I just don't drink, I don't know, it just seems a bit like, what's the point in buying something that looks like alcohol, in a container that looks like it has alcohol, like a wine bottle, but it's not wine in there, and it looks like wine, but it's not wine, and even might taste like wine, but it's not wine.
It just seems a bit like you're really, I don't know, tempting yourself almost, it's, yeah, I mean that's, it's kind of like, I don't know, trying to get someone to, to stop, I don't know. I know what I want to say, but I better be careful, because it's, it's probably controversial, but, it just seems a bit strange, just to me, it's probably really good, and I have had alcohol free stuff, but, I know they sell it in the pubs and stuff as well, for people that are driving, it amazes me, we've got such weird laws over here, for driving.
And in America, all that testing people, stopping them, and getting them to walk on a line, and do somersaults, and balance on their head, and doing the splits, and recite Shakespeare backwards, things like that, it's like just, breathalyze them, straight away, and you'll know within, like what, 30 seconds, whether or not they're over the limit, and then arrest them, and if they're not over the limit on a breathalyzer, let them go, it's done, you know, three, four minutes, not an hour.
Getting them to do, like, written tests, and now you need to swim five lengths of the swimming pool, in ten minutes, like, what's this got to do with swimming? Well it's got a lot to do with swimming, hasn't it? That ruined that, didn't I? What's this got to do with whatever we were talking about? You don't know what we were talking about? I wasn't listening. Do you ever talk about something, and someone asks you to repeat, and you realise you weren't actually even listening to yourself?
It's weird, I can't repeat it to you because I wasn't listening, sorry. What do you mean you wasn't listening? I wasn't really paying much notice, I was just talking for the sake of it.
What do you mean, you don't talk for the sake of it? You clearly haven't met me before. Retail therapies, look at this, like to feel as if you've done the hard work yourself, but still want someone to hold your hand in the kitchen a little. I don't know if I've ever, ever had anyone hold my hand in the kitchen.
Why would you hold someone's hand in the kitchen? Especially if they're cooking food, it's a bit unhygienic, isn't it? And it also limits them, limits their movement. What if they need to do two things? What if they, I mean if they need to make an omelette, they need both hands, because you obviously have to juggle the eggs first, don't you? And you might say, well, do you want to juggle the eggs?
Well, providing you do it over the counter, you can then find out how many you can do, because if you drop them, it don't matter because you just use them. See? But you can't just juggle eggs any old time, because otherwise it would be a waste.
If you know you're going to need eggs, and you might need like three or four eggs because you're making an egg thing, which needs four eggs, then you can just practice your juggling in the shell. It's easier in the shell. And you can kind of, and if you drop them, it don't matter.
See? You can make the most of the smallest, the smallest things in life can end up being wonderfully exciting. Oh, this is an advert for HelloFresh's Christmas recipe boxes delivered pre-portioned ingredients and step-by-step instructions from just £3.15 per person. The rosemary roast chicken with peaks in blankets, festive gravy and all trimmings is available until January 3rd.
Oh, go away. It's a puzzle. Oh, let's have a look.
What is the... I need to stop. I need to take my hand off of that. The table that is.
Keeps squeaking. Plan your retirement. How can I plan my retirement? I'm too young.
Alexa invests $8 billion in AI. So Amazon has increased its investment in Anthropic, an artificial intelligence startup to $8 billion following an initial investment made in September last year. The company is integrating Anthropic's technology into its cloud services and plans to embrace, no to embed, Anthropic's chatbot Claude into its Alexa voice command platform.
So I know a little bit about Anthropic and $8 billion is not, in AI terms, is not a huge amount of money these days, which is ridiculous. It's true though. Did you know that one of the biggest companies in the entire world and one of the only companies to be worth over a trillion dollars is Nvidia? It's a company that makes the chips, the computer chips.
Well, makes computer chips, not all the computer chips, but the main ones that AI uses. Mummy of all cruises is an advert for a cruise. I'm guessing something to do with mummies.
I've never been in a hot air balloon. It would make more sense if you could see the screen. There's a picture of hot air balloons riding over the Valley of the Kings.
Yeah, I don't know if I'd fancy a hot air balloon or not. Maybe I should. Let's give it a go.
He's got the power. Grand Theft Hamlet. That's another movie in some cinemas now.
Rumours is another one. Unstoppable. Okay.
Reef. What is that? Okay, so there's some TV and some movies. Football scout Monty reveals all.
Monty Montgomery, rough diamond. How a nightclub boss found football's future stars. Would you? Would you? He's a teenager.
Let him have some fun. And besides he's also really famous. And to be a darts player and be famous in this day and age is quite a it's a feat because darts isn't the sport it used to be isn't as popular like yeah but then Phil Taylor Phil Taylor was he was he a snooker player 16 time world champion I don't know I think just just leave him be leave littler alone I mean he's 17 if he wants to have fun let him have fun I was lucky enough to be voted sports personality run up in 2010 and I did attend
the event but I was 50 years old and I'd won 15 world titles by then if I was Luke I'd record a video message so you did attend he'd he says do you want to hang out with a few celebrities on a red carpet or do want to win 500 grand Mr. Phil Taylor are you not aware that Mr.
Littler the 17 year old darts genius that 500 grand is not gonna be much money compared to the amount of money he's gonna earn being a celebrity doing adverts being on tv shows possibly hosting a tv show he's a celebrity let him embrace it let him have fun maybe he doesn't want to be a darts player all his life leave him be yeah I think you should go go and enjoy yourself let's face it all he has to do to win 500 grand he can make more than that just by
writing a book writing a book about you all getting into a relationship with a famous another famous person become a power couple yeah I'll talk like I know what I'm on about I don't know can Lewis arise to the challenge Damien not Damien Lewis Hamilton after 12 years six world titles 245 races 84 victories and 78 polls 39 year old brings the curtain down on an incredible silver arrows career at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix right next season the seven time seven time world champion will start didn't just say that
he's won the world title six times now it's saying he's a seven time world champion all right I just want to find out what my star sign is going to be not my I know what my star sign is but what my star are because it's good to know for the future to be fair are the star signs on us on a Sunday is that for the week ahead because they do the star signs every day don't they is it just for the week ahead or is it for just for
the day because the day is nearly over I mean it's what's the time it's six minutes past seven pum I don't know I'm trying to go to the come on this is this is a long come on give me the star signs give oh yeah Virgo Virgo by name Virgo by nature it's no fun having to redo work you thought was finished starting from scratch will throw off all your plans for the week the boundless energy of a colleague will also disrupt your rhythm oh god that sounds horrible I don't
really have colleagues but just people it's no fun having to redo what you thought was finished starting from scratch oh blimey no I think I'll be a Virgo instead kids in your world will be buzzing with energy no don't want that one about Libra consider the world balance as you organize your time a mix of social activities no thanks uh it's a good idea Scorpio good idea to check your money situation to work out how to start your problems with bills no Sagittarius your days could turn out to be more
chaotic no I don't want that one either thanks Capricorn your social life may have gone off the boil but that's about to change yep I'm a Capricorn this week you will soon have no reason to complain about this part of your life your days will be filled with fun group activities no thank you I don't want group activities and he said group activities Aquarius I'll be Aquarius what you want is what you want is to maintain a happy atmosphere in your relationships and friendships just be careful not to express your
strong opinions about ideas others are suggesting you might why's it always got to involve other people and we're Aries rushing into decisions about your career or education could be regretted later anyway that's it I'm gonna go now I want to go so I managed to get through one newspaper pretty much thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.