#91 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - IS IT TRUE - (Jason Newland) (6th February 2020)

Hello, welcome to Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes and please subscribe to this podcast.

And I'd just like to, before I start this recording, to thank you for, to everyone that listens to it, because it's now become one of my most listened to podcasts. So I've got the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis, Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, and a couple of insomnia sleep podcasts that have all my sleep stuff on. But on a daily basis, this is now the most popular podcast.

I had over a thousand downloads yesterday. So thank you for listening. So what I'm going to do, I feel inspired, I feel inspired to talk about this particular subject.

The first thing is, well, the thing I'm going to focus on is this. Don't believe what you think, or don't believe everything you think. They might seem, might seem like an obvious thing.

Andre, stop running around. He just does, whenever I start recording, Andre, my little ferret, starts running around. Don't believe everything you think.

It's quite an obvious thing to say. It's not quite so obvious to do. So for me, that would be a case of questioning.

Question the things that you think to yourself. And I know this, you know, I try and focus on the stress, anxiety, you know, part of things. But just for general well-being, this can transform your life.

To start questioning yourself, just in the same way as perhaps we'd like to question other people with their beliefs, but perhaps we don't, because it's not, it's just not the done thing, maybe, or maybe you don't want to be rude, or you know. So someone says something, and you know, you think, what are you on about? You're clearly lying, or making it up, or exaggerating, or a bit delusional.

Or you're just regurgitating something you've heard before from someone else, and never questioned it.

And we can all do that. We're all able to do that. I've done it loads and loads, probably still do.

However, if we start questioning ourself, not in a judging way, because if we're constantly questioning someone, what do you mean by that? Is that true? It could seem a bit, well, very judgy. We're going to do it in a kind, gentle way. So not in a harsh way.

Not in a, what do you mean by that? Explain yourself. Not in that kind of tone, but more, is that true? Is it? Is it really true? So I'll rule off a few things that I say to myself. Unlovable.

I'm unlovable. Is that true? Really? Is it really true? Well, I have had people love me, and I suppose, you know, it's not, yeah, so maybe it's not true. You could, you know, you could ask another question.

What are you getting out of saying that to yourself? What's the benefit of being cruel to yourself? Because if you're sad at someone else, you're unlovable, you are. You're unlovable. That's a horrible thing to say, isn't it? It's not, it's not even, it's not even mild.

I mean, that's worse than the worst swear words. You can call someone the C word, but to say that someone's unlovable, that's, that's leagues worse than the C word, even though people love to say, I don't like that word, the C word, don't like it, you're not supposed to like it, that's why it's called a swear word. But to sell, you know, imagine saying it to someone else, but you're saying it to yourself, which kind of brings us back to something I said recently, you know, would you say that to a small child?

The question here is, would you say it to anyone? So, if someone calls himself ugly, would you say that to another person? You know, providing you're not a teenager, full of anger, and hormones, and find it difficult to control what you say and do for a short period of time in your life, outside of that kind of weird state and weird stage in your life, would you actually say to someone, oh, you're ugly?

And if you did, you'd know it was cruel, because it's one of the cruelest things you can say to someone.

I mean, this is cruel, horrible, horrible things to say to someone, oh, you're ugly, you're unlovable. Although I'm not loving Andre right now, with all the noise he's making. So, why are you saying it to yourself? Why is it acceptable? So, the question is, is it true, first of all? So, I would say, I'm ugly.

Is it true? Well, some people might think I am, but some people might not. So, to say something like, I'm ugly, it's a universal fact, the way you're saying it. It's like, well, no, it's not a universal fact.

It's not really factual. A fact would be saying, if you've got one leg, then I've only got one leg. I'm five foot eight.

I'm five foot eight. You know, that's a fact. Or, you know, I wear glasses.

Well, I do. You know, those are facts. I don't have to wear glasses, unless, of course, I want to be able to see properly.

But, you know, these are facts. But it's not an insult, if it's a fact. Someone says to me, oh, Jason, you've got a beer belly.

Yeah. It's not an insult. How can it be an insult, if it's a fact? I'm actually not really a beer belly, because I don't drink beer, but it looks like a beer belly.

It just happens to be really muscular. That's just the way my muscles are shaped. So, what is it you're saying to yourself that's actually harming you, that's causing suffering within your own mind, which is hurting? Cruel.

Let's just say it as it is. Cruelty. How are you being cruel to yourself? So, before you get to the point of, like, why are you saying that, is it true to start with? Is it true? I'm unlovable.

Is that true? I'm always going to be anxious. Forever and ever and ever. Is that true? There's no way of knowing, is there? I'd like to move to a different room, I'm afraid.

Due to Andre. That's what happens when I make recordings during the day. He's following me now.

We don't have to be unconscious to listen to this anyway. So, having him running around is fine. He can be part of the recording.

He likes to participate. You know what's weird is I don't say horrible things to him. He's a ferret.

He's a ferret, he doesn't understand what I'm saying, but I don't say horrible things to him. Usually. But definitely nothing horrible.

Because it just feels cruel. And I don't want to be cruel to him. And I don't want to be cruel to myself.

So, coming back to you, what kinds of things do you say to yourself? Bearing in mind, you know, the average person's awake for, let's say, 16 hours a day. You know, someone who sleeps for eight hours. I know there's some people who sleep for a lot longer, and I'm one of them.

But there's still a lot of time every day where we're thinking. And what do you say to yourself? What thoughts do you have that you're ignoring, that are actually harming you? Because although consciously you're not maybe taking much notice, your unconscious mind is listening all the time. So, that's the little secret of hypnosis, is you don't have to be in a trance in order for suggestions, positive suggestions, to sink in.

Because your unconscious mind is always listening. And the biggest hypnotist, the most successful hypnotist you will ever know in your life is you. The person that has the most impact on your unconscious mind is you.

The things that you say, the things that you think, affects your life. It affects your brain. It affects the development of your brain.

And some people might think, what do you mean a development? My brain was developed by the age of three or whatever. No, it wasn't. Our brains are continuing to develop.

Our brains are elastic, or plasticity, they call it, continually changing and growing and healing. Brain damage can heal. People who've had strokes can heal.

People that have had brain injury due to playing sports or accidents, they can heal that part of brain. Drug addiction, alcohol issues, it can heal that part of the brain, physically heal it. Which then changes the way that we behave, and the way that we think, the way that we act, the way that we feel.

Probably more importantly, the way that we feel. Because you feel happier. Because the brain is healing.

And that's what these recordings are about. It's about healing the brain. It's about sending that message, that positive message to your unconscious mind, to heal your brain.

So if there's gaps, holes in your brain, to heal them, fill them in and heal over, and make more connections. Which can only happen unconsciously. The more you think about wanting it to happen, the more it's going to happen.

So the more attention you give to thinking about your mind healing, so that you no longer have those anxiety, extreme anxiety situations. So that you no longer worry about things that you don't need to worry about. So that you feel physically well.

So you notice that actually you're more positive in your outlook, as far as the things that you're saying to yourself. Because we can act positive, and we can be positive. And being positive is how you're thinking.

We can pretend to be positive. But if inside your mind, you're just basically having a go at yourself all the time, and being rude and cruel to yourself in your own mind, regardless of how nice you are to everyone outside, you're not positive. You're not being positive at all to yourself.

You're being kind to other people. And doing that should have quite a big effect on your own mental state anyway. It will have an effect.

So if you spend all your time being kind to other people, chances are you'll be kinder to yourself, because you'll get used to that way of thinking. But there are people, that spend all their time looking after others, and spend no time looking after themselves. And get ill because of it.

I've known people like that, and you may do as well. You may be someone like that. There's lots of doctors and people working in the health profession that get really ill, because they spend all their time helping others.

And it's just too much for them. They're not able to put any energy into their own well-being, or they just run out of energy because they've used it all helping others. I'm not saying stop helping other people.

Of course I'm not, because I think it's the greatest thing you can do. But you also have to give love to yourself. And I'm not going to say you've got to love yourself.

I mean you do, but I'm not going to sort of force that. You can't force it. But you've got to show love to yourself.

And the best way is by being kind. Being kind to yourself. And sometimes it's as simple as stopping being cruel.

Stop being cruel to yourself is a very kind thing to do. So even if you can't think of anything kind to do, you know, you like the idea, be kind to yourself, sounds nice, a nice little sound bite. It's almost a like a, you know, cliche or something, you know, be kind to yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But actually, if you reverse it, flip it on its side and say, well, actually, reduce the amount of times that you are rude and cruel to yourself with your thinking. And we can go for physical body image.

I can look in the mirror, and even without taking my clothes off, I can look in the mirror. Okay, well, I've got a big nose, I've got a big belly, kind of sticky out ears, wearing glasses, I'm a bit colder now, I'm not supposed to look, I'm 49, I'm not supposed to look like I'm 20. You know, but I can pull myself apart, and just focus on all the things I don't like about how I look.

And the question is, the question is, are these things true? I would say, but also, what use is it? What possible use could there be of looking in the mirror, and tearing yourself apart, and criticizing yourself? What use in the world could that be? Other than harm? And that is self-harm. I know self-harm is classed as, you know, people that physically hurt themselves. But what about people that emotionally hurt themselves?

Which is a much higher level, a much higher number of people do that, than they physically do it.

In fact, I'd say everybody has emotionally hurt themselves, and has, you know, caused self-harm. So everybody has, I'd say, at some point. But because no one else can see it, there's no scars, there's no physical signs.

But you know, your unconscious mind is listening to that. That part of you that looks after the healing aspect of your body, and your mind. The part that gives you what you want.

It's almost, you know, you've got the, you know, asking the universe for something, the law of attraction, and stuff like that. It's your unconscious mind that gives you what you want. Because you ask your unconscious mind, keep telling yourself, over and over, focusing on what you do want.

And you start to do things that help you to get it. Because you need to start taking action. You know, it's taken me since 2006 to get to where I am with these recordings.

It's taken a long time. But I'd have no listeners if I didn't make recordings, if I didn't at least do something, and have some belief, some self-belief. And it grows, a little bit of self-belief, then grows into more self-belief.

Saying something kind to yourself, leads to you saying something a bit kinder to yourself. Because, you know, if someone says something to you nice, you know, say something nice to you, and someone that you believe, someone that you know is not just saying it for the sake of it. You know, so if you're getting ready to go out for the night, and someone says, oh, you look so beautiful, and all your friends are saying it, they're just saying it, and you know, it's that kind of, we're all saying it because we want the other person to say it to us, and it might not be the case.

But moving away from that false kind of, falsy stuff. But when someone says to you, that's, you're really good at that, I'm really impressed with what you did, that's amazing. It could be something you've created, it could be someone says, oh, you've got a really, you've got a really nice voice, you might be singing, they could be saying, oh, I mean, someone says, you've got a really nice figure.

And, well, your hair looks nice. Even though these are superficial things, it's nice to hear it, isn't it? If you know it's real, if you know it's genuine. You know, I had a friend, I think I'd have a haircut, or buy a new jumper, or something like that, you know, and she'd say, oh, you look 20 years younger.

And I'd just laugh at her, because it was just ridiculous. So I don't look 20 years younger, having had a shave, and had my hair, that's silly. And I'd make fun of her for it, because that's what she was used to doing.

She was used to paying people false compliments. And, yeah, I probably did look a little bit better, and maybe I did look a little bit younger. But, you know, not 20 years.

Oh, you look like you're five years old now. Wow. You look like you're in the womb.

That haircut really suits you. No. So if you've got that kind of false stuff, that's okay.

But you know, it's just... But then how do you know which, what bit is false and which isn't? And does it really matter? I mean, the point for this is, when someone says something to you that's nice, and you take it for what it means, you take it for being a nice compliment, and it feels lovely, doesn't it? There's that sense of feeling valued. There's a sense of, I don't know, just comfort, a sort of joyful well-being, sort of in your body and in your mind.

And then, if you have those kind of thoughts to yourself in your own mind, you're going to get the same kind of feelings.

So if you're surrounded by people telling you how amazing you are all the time, you'll start to believe it. And you'll start to say it to yourself. And you'll really believe it.

There's a lot of very famous people that I've met quite a few people over the years that really believed that they were amazing. And some would say delusional, but they believed that they were... I've met people that actually believed they were perfect. I've met people that believed that they were always right.

I think we must have all met people like that. But they believed it, and they were kind of happy with that. If you were brought up from a baby told that you were perfect in every single way, that you were the most intelligent child on the planet, and all these things, just like that everything about you was perfect, you're going to believe it.

And you're going to be saying that stuff to yourself. And you're probably going to feel quite happy. Of course, you'd have to keep away from reality.

Then you'd have a little bit challenging once you start meeting humans, other humans, and realizing that perfection doesn't exist. So what is it that you say to yourself that is harmful? And you may not be aware of it. You may not know what it is, what's harmful and what's not.

So work out what is it you say to yourself that is cruel and unkind? And it might mean thinking, well, would I say that to another person? Or if someone said that to me, if someone said that to you, would you take offense? So someone says to me, to my face, you're old, and you're going to die alone. Horrible thing to say. Horrible, horrible, mean, cruel, disgusting thing to say to someone.

But I say stuff like that to myself. Well, I catch myself saying things like that to myself. And you know, I try and work with it.

And I'm aware of it. But imagine if you're not aware of it. And you're just thinking it.

Because the stuff you're not consciously aware of, that's stuff that can get through to your unconscious mind really easily. If you think of your conscious mind as being like the door, the security, the door staff on a nightclub. So the unconscious mind is the nightclub.

It's not really a nightclub, you know. But it's got a security, your conscious mind is the security, and decides what goes in and out of that, of the unconscious mind. Now, if your unconscious mind is not even noticing when you're being cruel to yourself, maybe because it happens so often, we get used to it, we don't even notice it anymore.

That stuff's going to go into the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind takes it as a command, as acceptable. And possibly, as a request, please can I have more of this? This is true.

Because the unconscious mind does not know how to tell the difference between what's real and what isn't real, what's true and what's untrue. It doesn't question. It believes you.

It's gullible. It believes you. Why shouldn't it believe you? It's you.

Your unconscious mind is you. And your conscious mind is you. Why should your unconscious mind doubt you? So, you give these suggestions to your unconscious mind by thinking them.

But when you consciously notice what you're thinking, and you challenge it, for example, I'm trying to think of something bad to say about myself. I want to do it about myself rather than about you. You know what I mean? I want to sort of aim at myself during a recording.

And we've all got examples of these. So, yeah, I can think sometimes no one appreciates what I do. I sometimes think that no one appreciates what I do, like the recordings and stuff, because I've got family members that don't.

Most people in my life are not interested in this stuff that I do. So, I get that in my mind sometimes. No one cares about what I do.

No one appreciates it or values it. So, I question it. Well, if that's the case, why are thousands of people listening every day? So, I kind of question it, and I turn it.

So, is it true? That's the first question. Is it true? And in order for me to get the answer to whether it's true or not, I have to kind of focus in on it and examine what you said to yourself. And when you examine something, you're almost dissecting it.

And anything you dissect is no longer, it doesn't work anymore. It doesn't matter what it is. You take anything apart, whether it's a living organism or a mechanical machine.

Mechanical machine? A watch, an iPhone, it doesn't matter. Once you take it apart, it doesn't work. It's no longer able to function.

So, if you take an iPhone screen off, take the bits out, you know, or if you take a television, obviously unplug it. But if you were to take the screen off the television and take bits out of the back, it's not going to work anymore. And the same is with thoughts.

And that idea of, oh, no one appreciates what I do. By focusing on that, and by dissecting it, by questioning each part of that statement, and getting examples that actually go against that belief, that disprove that belief, the belief just crumbles. And it no longer functions.

And not only can it not slip into your unconscious mind, it can't even stay in your conscious mind, because it's almost ridiculous. And that's quite nice. That's part of the reason why, when I have nice thoughts about myself, I don't necessarily examine them.

I just quite like having them. So if I'm thinking to myself, oh, I'm reaching thousands of people, and there's someone listening to me pretty much every second of every day around the world somewhere. There's someone listening to my voice.

It's not necessarily a good thing, but I'm just saying this. And I feel quite nice about that, that I've reached a wide audience, worldwide audience. But I don't evaluate it.

I don't start sticking a microscope on that, because I don't want to break up that idea. I'm happy with that idea, because it feels nice, whether it's true or not. It's regardless, because it feels nice.

It might be true, but there might not be someone listening every second of the day. There's enough downloads for that to be the case, but I don't know, in reality. But it feels nice to think that.

It feels nice to think that people are benefiting from my voice, from what I do. So why would I examine it? If anything, increasing that feeling would seem like more, a more beneficial thing to do. So I don't question those thoughts, because it's not cruel.

I want to focus on questioning the cruel thoughts, the harmful thoughts. Is it true? That's the first question. So when you have something, when you've stopped listening to this, and you start to kind of notice your thoughts, and when something comes into your mind, it might be a case, and this happens to me, it's happened to me before, I've cooked something, I'm eating it and thinking, this is disgusting.

Is this true? Yeah. Yeah, it is. You know, I don't mind.

It's fine. This isn't very pleasant, the food that I've just cooked. It's not disgusting, but it's not very, you know, sort of okay.

It's not nice, but it's edible. I'm a terrible cook. Is that true? I'm useless at cooking.

And remember, you're using the word, I'm useless. So again, that's not something that you want to be sliding into your unconscious mind. Not something that you want to be believing.

Well, actually, I'm not useless at cooking. There are some things I can cook quite well. But I'm not a cook.

I'm not, I'm not a, yeah, I'm not an accomplished cook. And I'm okay with that, because I don't want to be. It's a question that, no, it's not true.

It's true that the food's a bit rubbish. Fine. But on the same side, if I cooked for someone else, and they said, this is disgusting, you're a useless cook.

Now, that would be horrible, I imagine, and my verbal response probably wouldn't be very kind back to the person, I, yes, I actually, hearing it out loud, having someone else say it to me, the first part feels worse than when I said it to myself. The first part of, this is disgusting. Because before I was rationalized, thinking, yeah, it's a bit disgusting, but it's, you know, well, actually, hearing it out loud from somebody else, or imagining someone else saying it, it feels quite horrible.

You're a useless cook. For some reason, the, this is disgusting, seems to be more of a jolt to me, personally. Would I say that to someone else? Someone's cooked me a dinner.

I want a first date, or something. You imagine that, oh, this is disgusting, you're a useless cook. Not something I would ever say.

Not even as a joke. You know, because it's, it's cruel, isn't it? It's actually quite horrible. It's harsh.

It sounds, it just seems a lot harsher than when I said it inside my own mind. So maybe that's not why, that's why we don't notice it so much. Because it doesn't feel as harsh when we say it in our own mind.

But it is just as harsh. In fact, it's more harsh. It's more harmful.

It's way more harmful. Wow. Isn't that interesting? So maybe that's why we do it.

Maybe that's why we do, are able to be cruel to ourselves. Because it doesn't seem cruel. Maybe because it's not out loud.

Perhaps even the terminology, the tone of voice isn't there. The angry expression or, you know, on the other person's face isn't there. So it almost like slides in and it's like unnoticeable.

Or perhaps because we're just used to it. I got so used to thinking I'm old, fat, unlovable. Maybe that's just, it doesn't, I guess if you say something enough.

I used to get told when I was a kid that I was stupid. But probably like an idiot. Real stupid.

Over and over again for years and years and years. And I used to say it to myself. And I got used to it and it didn't jolt me at all.

I just accepted it. It was just what I was told. It's what I knew to be true.

And yet it wasn't true. But it didn't seem bad saying it to myself. It didn't, it didn't jar me.

It didn't, I didn't feel like it affected me. But it did affect me. Because I believed it.

And some of my behaviour actually almost proved the statement. Some of the things I did, some of the things I said. And I'd be happy to tell people I was stupid.

I was willing to take low-paid work, doing really menial jobs, which took no mental capacity whatsoever. Because I didn't believe that I was capable of doing anything that required thinking. But I could have done.

I just didn't believe it. I didn't believe in myself. Those times are gone.

Things have changed. But it takes a lot to change that stuff. And I still find myself doing it.

Calling myself an idiot. Calling myself clumsy. Calling myself this and that.

And maybe you also find yourself noticing it more. Because if nothing else comes from this recording, you start to notice it more. It doesn't mean it's happening more, it just means you're noticing it more.

So you could come away from this and start noticing and thinking, well, I didn't even used to think about this, and now I'm saying these things to myself. It must be Jason's fault, because since I listened to that recording, I'm saying these horrible things to myself. No, it's not that at all.

You're just noticing it. And now you're noticing it, you can question it. And it won't go into your unconscious mind.

That security, you can be your own security and say, no, you're not coming in. Because the things you're thinking is bullshit. It's not true.

Or is it true? Am I what I'm saying to myself? Where's the proof? Where's the evidence? And also there's those statements, I'm always, I always do this, I'm always this. And people say that in arguments to me, you always do this, you do this to me, you make me feel this. I think we all know inside, that nobody can make us feel anything.

But sometimes it needs explaining. But nobody can make you feel anything. You make me feel upset.

No, your natural reaction is to feel upset because of what's happened. They didn't make you have an emotional response. Your emotional response is a response to their actions.

But yeah, you start to notice things. That's what happens with meditation. You start to notice the thoughts.

And some people think that they're doing it wrong. Because when they start doing meditation, they might be sitting there feeling calm. The more they do, the meditation, the more thoughts they start to notice.

And some people will say, I'm getting worse at it. And then they're told, well, no, you're improving. Because you're noticing more of those thoughts.

And letting them go. You're noticing them. And you can question any of those cruel thoughts that you have.

Is it true? And then you could say, well, how is this helpful? Because on another side, it's like, if someone's four foot six, you know, just under five foot or whatever. If they constantly tell themselves, I'm short, I'm short, I'm short. Yeah, they are short.

That's a fact. But what use is it? Keep telling themselves that. If someone's seven foot tall, I'm really tall, I'm really tall.

What use is telling themselves that, beating themselves up about something that they can do nothing about? So sometimes even the truth doesn't need to keep being repeated if it's of no use. But when it comes to some of the positive truths, the fact that you've helped people in your life, the fact that you are valuable, the fact that you do deserve to be happy, things like that you can focus on.

Focus on the things that you are grateful for, like genuinely grateful for.

I mean, I'm not grateful for my lungs. Apart from when I run for a bus. That's when I'm grateful for my lungs.

I'm not grateful for my taste buds until I eat something really tasty. I'm not grateful for my bum until I do a poo. Or maybe I've got constipation, I've got a bad stomach and it's gone.

Then I'm grateful for that process, for the whole bowel process. So there's things we can be grateful for. Without actually going through the process of using those things.

If you want to, if you want to get into that mindset of, actually, I love my bed. I'm grateful that I've got that bed. But how much time do I spend feeling grateful for the bed? Very little.

But it's a nice bed. I'm grateful for having the bracket that holds up my television. It's just really cool.

You know, it wasn't expensive, 20 pound or something. It's just raised on the walls so the floor's clear, makes the room bigger. It's just the little things.

It doesn't have to be big things. What it does is shapes your mind. It almost, it directs the flow of the river of thoughts going in a positive direction.

So that's the end of this recording. I've done this during the day. I don't normally.

I normally do it at night. So the beginning, I had Andre running around, so I managed to stick him in the bedroom and close the door behind him as he followed me and come into the living room and it's been fairly quiet for the last half an hour or so. So when you have a thought in your mind that's harmful or negative or problematic or just cruel, just you notice, you're going to notice more when you're being cruel to yourself.

And just ask, is this true? I mean, is it genuinely true? And even if you come to the conclusion that it is true, because that's the way your mind's thinking at the moment, might not be true, but that might be your state of mind in that moment. Is it helpful? How is it helping you? Is it true? And how is it helping you? And chances are, well, how can it be helping you?

The only thing that me thinking, oh, I'm fat every time I look in the mirror could help me to maybe want to lose some weight and to get fitter. So it could help in that way.

But I don't need that negativity. I don't need that cruelty. And if I wanted something, I wouldn't say to them, you're fat.

Because it'd be horrible, horrible thing to say to someone. I would word it a lot differently. And I would aim it, you know, focus on the benefits of getting healthy.

And maybe tell the person that I want them to stick around for longer. And I'd be worried about their health or, you know, whatever. So notice when you're being cruel to yourself.

Ask yourself, is it true, these things that you're saying? And if not, you'll notice they just dissolve. The thoughts will just dissolve. Dissolve.

Now, I'm going to go. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Because you do deserve to be happy. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Lots of love.

Bye.