#136 Relax & Sleep Hypnosis Daily - ENOUGH IS ENOUGH (Jason Newland)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily. Thank you for listening and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Please get yourself comfortable sitting in a chair that supports your body or maybe lying down on your bed or some kind of flat surface.

Now, I'm just going to talk. I'm not going to ask you to relax your body. I'm not going to ask you to slow down your mind.

I'm not going to try and get you to focus on the parts of your body that feel the most relaxed.

I'm not going to ask you to notice how your face starts to relax as you listen to me or maybe your shoulders start to sink down a little bit or how your hands and feet simultaneously start to just smooth out and feel a bit more floppy, you know, just a bit more I'm not going to ask you to focus on your mind, either to observe your mind without trying to, you know, cause it to feel relaxed or even to, you know, focus on your mind and expect and maneuver your mind to feel calmer, slower, more comfortable.

So that the maybe the overthinking slows down and maybe stops all together as your focus is redirected to something more positive, enabling you to just relax, realizing that you don't need your mind, especially when you're listening to me.

No thought power or brain energy is required when listening to my boring voice. So you might think, well, what am I going to do? What's that? What's the weird man on the on the tape recorder going to do? What's he going to talk about? Well, let's talk about the benefits that you can experience. I'll talk about how you can feel if you choose to feel relaxed, because ultimately it is a choice.

You know, I can't make you feel relaxed. Now, if you listen to me regularly, which I know some people do, then just hearing my tediously boring voice will automatically switch that switch in your brain, which then lets the rest of your nervous system know that no energy is required. Negativities just really not available at this moment, because my droning on actually is kryptonite to negative thoughts.

And you can even try to hold on to a negative thought and it just doesn't seem to be able to keep its footing. It's almost as if it's standing on a big piece of ice and it's trying to tap dance. Have you ever tried to tap dance on some ice? Then don't, I think is the advice given from me.

Because it might not end well, but the ice won't mind. Now there might be some background sounds because I'm recording this at 10 30 in the morning and it's a sunny day, which means some of the neighbors might congregate in the garden and discuss all their positive plans for the future, you know. So there's a chance of a bit of background sound, which is okay because this doesn't need complete silence.

Because if you're listening needing complete silence in order to relax or fall asleep, then literally I would have to stop talking. Because it would just be no sound, it would just be recording, me introducing and then just shutting up. Well you can do that on your own can't you, you don't need me for that.

We can all just stop talking. Okay, I can't, but most people can stop talking. I talk to myself when I sleep, I didn't even know I did it, I recorded, I was doing a sleep recording and I fell asleep.

The first thing I did, I had no idea about is how loudly I snored. Secondly, I was actually having conversations in my sleep, which was a bit weird. It wasn't so much weird that I was talking, but some of the things I was saying, very strange, even stranger than what I normally do when I make a recording.

It made even less sense. So just okay, imagine this is just a normal conversation with a friend. Because sometimes when you're feeling stressed or tense or anxious, sometimes all you have is another human being to talk to, that might be the only thing that you have.

It might be the worst thing or the best thing, depending on how you perceive it. Having someone that you can just talk to may be useful. As long as you remember and don't ever expect that person to understand how you're feeling, because they don't.

Not that they don't want to, but they can't, they can't be inside you. In this way, they can't know what it feels like to be you, just like you can't know what it feels like to be them. And we love to love to tell people, oh, I know how you feel.

You don't. You don't know how anyone feels, ever. Even if you've had an identical situation, an identical thing happen, you might have, you might be in the ballpark, you might have an idea, you know, you know what it's like, you know what it's like for you to go through that experience.

But they don't, you know, you don't know what it's like for them, they don't know what it's like for you. So if feeling less than relaxed, can be quite difficult being around another person, sometimes. But they can be a distraction.

Just like, I think, in a way, I can be a distraction from those feelings that were there before. And the best way to judge it is to actually test it. How do you feel now, compared to how you felt 10 minutes ago, when you press the play button on this smelly recording? I don't know why, I love to call things smelly for some reason.

It's a new thing. But seriously, how, how do you feel different? And that's the bottom line. How do you feel different? And then you can ask yourself, why? Or how, how can, how can you feel different within 10 minutes? How can you feel more relaxed in 10 minutes, listening to some English man talking pretty much about nothing? How is that even possible? Maybe it's the energy.

Maybe it's a bit of positivity. Maybe it's a break from feeling sorry for yourself. And trust me, I'm not judging anyone on that, because I spent a lot of my life feeling sorry for myself.

In fact, I'd say I probably got a PhD in self pity. But after a while, I've realized that I'm not getting anything from this. I'm not getting anything from feeling sorry for myself, being a victim, or continuing to be a victim.

And that mindset of the world's against me, everything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, just that might be how you feel. Is it useful? Let's cut through the smelly stuff. Is it useful? Be honest.

Is feeling sorry for yourself useful? Now, it can be fun. It really can, you know, weird twisted kind of a way. Because some people's mentality can be either I blame other people or I blame myself.

And if that's the only two options, blaming others is the much easier route to take the most, the more manageable one. Because if we start blaming ourselves, that can lead to all kinds of problems. I think the solution with that is to not blame, is to move away from that idea that there always has to be someone to blame, has to be someone's fault.

And that's learned behavior. We're not born with that. That's learned.

We learn that from our parents, from friends, from teachers, from just other people, other human beings, society, some religious sectors of society, very much love the blame game. Shame and blame. So I was, I had a bit of that.

I, I used to live with Catholic nuns in a children's home. A lot of blame there. But how useful is it? To be honest, how useful is it? Because you've got two parts of your mind, one or two parts, but you've got two choices in a way.

You can relax, or you can feel tense and stressed and anxious. And I realize it's, you know, it's easy just to say that, but in order to relax, you need to sort of almost get to a point where you don't care anymore. And that feeling of not caring isn't something that you necessarily carry around with you all the time.

It's a state of mind that you need. We all need to be able to get into. When we need it.

So, you know, even the most important things in life, we're going to care about it. You know, if I'm visiting a relative in hospital, of course, I care about that situation. I care about that person.

And I'm concerned about their wellbeing and all that stuff. There needs to be a point, a part of my brain, a part of my ability to be able to sit down when I'm on my own or lie down and not care about that person. And I know that could be like, oh, that's disgusting.

No, it's not that you don't care, but you stop caring temporarily. You let it go temporarily in order to relax. Because when you let that stuff and everything else go temporarily, the more often you do it, when you do go back to kind of normality after relaxing for an hour or two or 10 minutes or 10 hours, whatever, you start to notice that, of course, the important stuff's still there.

It's not, it's not going to disappear. You know, you're not going to relax and suddenly everybody that you know is healthy and well, when before they weren't. Of course, that's not.

And a lot of that is out of your hands anyway. But what you will notice is that some of the more pointless stuff that we worry about starts to drop off, which means you're worrying less, your stress levels are less. You stop worrying about yourself.

Stop worrying about anxiety levels and stress levels and other things connected to actually creating that stress. Which is one of those things to do with the whole anxiety and panic attack situation is worrying about it causes it or can cause it. Worrying about an anxiety attack can cause it.

Getting into that mindset where, and I've been there, where all I thought about, all I seemed to think about was that I didn't want to have an anxiety attack. This is a few years ago, but this ruled my life for two years, over two years, ruled my life. Everywhere I went, everyone I spoke to, it was with me.

Always bubbling underneath and me being absolutely terrified that I was going to have what I didn't want. But all I focused on was that. And the old saying is, we get more of what we focus on.

If you want to feel relaxed, focus on feeling relaxed. So if you want to feel tense and stress and anxious, focus on that. Because what do we do in that situation? If you're about to go to a wedding, there's going to be lots of people there you don't know.

And this is kind of natural as well. A natural way to be, if that's how you are. We, some people get anxious of a situation like that beforehand, but that's not enough.

It's not enough just to be a little bit worried. What do we do? We start rehearsing in our mind. Feeling anxious and stressed and tense and uptight We rehearse perhaps having to leave early.

We rehearse having a horrible time. Now, what that shows is we're all very creative. It also shows that we have within us the power to create something, to create an event, to create, to prepare and to visualize and to actually, if we set our mind on something, it can happen the way we want it to happen.

Unfortunately, this is using that same powerful technique for a horrible feeling, for a feeling discomfort and pain, as opposed to imagining the wedding of all those people you don't know. Imagining yourself feeling relaxed and maybe wearing something that you really enjoy wearing, looking forward to it, looking forward to wearing a new dress or a new top or whatever it might be. Imagining yourself talking to people and feeling calm and comfortable and relaxed throughout the whole evening or day.

It's the same process. You're rehearsing it in your mind. Rehearsing something that hasn't happened yet and then when it comes to happen, what's likely to happen? You're going to feel relaxed.

You're going to feel calm because you've already done it. So this is psychological fact. This isn't just making it up.

This is someone imagining a golf game, taking, I don't know, whatever the shots are, where they initially hit the ball really hard and I don't know anything about golf really, other than they use those sticks to hit it with, wonky sticks or whatever. So if someone actually visualizes hitting the ball well, using the correct stance, practices in their mind, the results are way, way better than for someone who doesn't practice in their mind.

The same with shooting an arrow.

An arrow, I don't know what that sport's called, but you know, a bow and arrow, shooting it into the bullseye. If you imagine and rehearse in your mind, because at that level you know you can do it. We all know that we can feel relaxed.

We've all felt relaxed and anyone says, oh I've never felt relaxed, they've either got a very, very bad memory or they're just lying to ourselves. Because sometimes you know when people say, oh I'm always this, I'm always that, I've never done that, I'm not. It's all not true.

We're not just one thing. The way we feel is always changing, always. So anyone that says they've never relaxed, it's not true.

Everyone relaxes at times. So we all know what it feels like to feel confident, even though some people would say, oh I'll never feel confident ever. There are times when you feel confident.

There may not be anyone else around and it may be in a situation where you don't value confidence, you don't think it is an important thing. But we all feel confident at times. It might be you feel confident in something that you're doing, a hobby that you have.

You feel confident in your ability to read. You feel confident in your ability to carry something, to do an activity that you are not just feeling confident, but you know that you are competent at it. So the confidence doesn't even register in your mind because it's just there.

So we all, we all have confidence within us. It's just not sometimes valued by ourselves. So you can start valuing it now.

Start valuing yourself. Start realizing that actually you do have lots of skills, loads of positive aspects to your personality. You can do so many things that maybe you're not aware of.

Things that you've done in the past that you didn't value. You didn't value yourself enough to notice that you did something really well, maybe really easily as well. So with stress and anxiety you have the ability to remember that you spent most of your life not being stressed or anxious.

Those people that have anxiety attacks, everyone who's ever had an anxiety attack has spent more of their life, huge amounts more of their life not being in that state of anxiety. And it can be a weird concept to try and get your head around something that you already know, yet you kind of want to reject it because you maybe want to feel sorry for yourself or perhaps you want to, you want practical help.

You want, you want it to go away instantly.

You want it all to stop instantly. Now I understand that. I mean who wouldn't? Who wouldn't want it to stop any kind of stress levels? But what you can do through listening to me rabbiting on is those little bits of stress that you're not aware of maybe start to get dissolved, start to just disappear.

And I like the idea of a huge, huge table. Okay. And it's so big that all you can see is the table.

You don't get to see the legs, the hundreds of thousands of legs maybe that support in this table. All you see is this big old wooden table. You see the top, you don't see what's underneath supporting it.

And it's heavy, putting a lot of strain on those legs, which means the legs really individually are not that strong. Yeah, they're kind of almost at breaking point in a sense of that stress and that anxiety being that table. You know, the feeling is the table, the overall feeling, the result.

All those legs are part of that, part of that energy, that negativity feeding the actual table itself. So as you listen to me and my voice becomes croakier for some reason, which is lovely when I'm making a recording. Those legs, some of those legs just start to crumble, maybe snap, maybe just disappear, maybe just leave.

Like I don't want any part of this anymore. And some of those bits of tension and stress aren't even valid anymore. It's like old worries about stuff that it's not even important to you anymore.

It's irrelevant. Maybe old worries about previous jobs or relationships that you're not even involved in anymore. And it's almost like they have to find out themselves that they're not required in order to leave, instead of you just saying, go, I don't need you anymore.

What are you still here for? If you had a party and you're clearing up and you come in and there's like four people still sitting in your garden, you'd like, what are you doing here? The party's over. Bye-bye. You know, maybe you wouldn't be that rude, but you know, you'd want them gone because the party's over, especially if you don't know them.

Like most people would excuse themselves, they know the party's over, they go, they leave. But with some stress, it sticks around for no reason. And as we know, lots and lots of tiny little bits of stress put together leads to a much bigger feeling.

So that might be time to just say, ta-ra, bye, and just let it go. Just let it go. I mean, what do you actually need to hold on to? In reality, what is it you need to hold on to? What's so important that you need, you know, that that stress is actually important for you to have, unless you're trying to punish yourself, unless you're trying to feel crappy, which of course, I guess at times, maybe we've all done that as well.

But in this moment now, in the light of day, it can actually seem, instead of, you know, having a go at yourself or beating yourself up or being negative towards yourself, maybe you can see it in the light of humour, in the light of nonsensical, as in, this is just silly. I don't need this stress. It's, it's, it's, what is it doing? Other than contributing towards the energy, the overall energy of stress and tension.

It's helping with that, but how's that helping you? It's not, I guess is the quick answer to that, which means you can just let it go. And when I say let it go, I'm talking about deciding that you're no longer going to allow unnecessary stress, unnecessary worry to affect you anymore. And when I say that, I'm not talking whimsical, like very vague.

Oh, I think I'll let the stress go. No, I'm talking about serious decision, serious decision, where you say enough is enough. We've all had to do that in our lives for certain situations.

This is one of those situations. No more. Enough is enough.

That mindset where you make a decision and you stick to it, you're determined to stick to it. And there might even be a degree of anger there. Not like horrible anger, but real definiteness.

Like absolutely not messing around here. Go now and don't come back. We are finished.

This is it. There's no going back. You're no longer welcome in my life.

You give me nothing. You contribute nothing to my well-being. You're a drain.

You've been a drain for years on my life. And you're no longer welcome. Leave now.

And I suppose some people say, oh, that sounded so rude. That sounded really aggressive. Well, there's no point saying, oh, I'd really like you to leave.

Can you leave? Imagine doing that if someone was in your house and you really, you know, you wanted them out. Oh, can you leave? I'd really like you to leave. No, out.

That might not be your first step. You'd ask nicely, but there's no, there's no time for asking nicely. Not when it comes to draining stress, the stress that drains you of your life force, of your energy.

It's nothing but negativity. It has to go. It has to go.

And once you make that decision, you'd never back down. Ever. Ever.

Not when it comes to something as important as getting rid of that unnecessary stress and tension and negativity. You know, there's thoughts where you're, you know, putting yourself down for no reason. Maybe you've just installed into your own mind what other people may have said to you in the past, or those people no longer have that power.

And you don't have to allow those thoughts anywhere near you, especially not in your own mind. You're in control of that when you say no more. That's it.

I'm not having that negativity in my life. Other people can be as negative towards themselves as they want. But I am not having that in my life.

I'm worth more than that. You are worth more than that. And once you've done that, you can actually start to plan how you're going to live your life without that stress and tension.

How you're going to live your life feeling relaxed, doing all the things that you want to do, feeling completely confident and relaxed. And the more you rehearse that in your mind, rehearse different scenarios where maybe in the past you had problems, but now that stress has gone, you can plan in your mind and rehearse feeling positive, feeling confident, feeling relaxed. So I'm going to go.

I've chatted on about this for long enough. And let your mind absorb these ideas, because it's all positive. The idea that actually you can feel more relaxed, more, and you will feel more relaxed, more of the time from now on.

Take care and remember to be kind to yourself and gentle with yourself, because you deserve to be happy and lots of love. Bye.