(no music) #1172 - going grey is not always funny - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (1st August 2024)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So, shall I tell you, my birthday is coming up this year.

I have a birthday every year, did I tell you? Today, well the day, today is the beginning of my birthday month. So, I'll tell you about my birthday. Shall we talk about birthdays? Yeah, just so it gives you a bit of an idea of like what to get me and maybe, you know, yeah.

So, it's the 26th of August 2024. So, I'll tell you a little bit about it, shall we? I wasn't even going to talk about my birthday then I remembered. It's my birthday soon, because it's the 1st of August today.

And Thursday, the 1st of August 2024, I've just been out with Vinnie. I literally, a few minutes ago, I posted some pictures of Vin and his best mate Archie. I posted it on the Jason Newland's Boring Group.

I don't, yeah, I don't post them anywhere else. So, that's, that's the only place you can see them. So, if you'd like to join, go ahead and join.

It's free, baby. Right, I do have the window, do have the window open, which just need air in here. So, hopefully, it won't be too, too noisy, hopefully.

Vinnie's now, you didn't want your treat earlier, Vinnie. Hold a second, I've got to get him something. So, I just popped into the kitchen and got him this.

This is what he loves. He loves these, because they're just the right size for him. You want it? Wait.

I'm keeping it. I'm keeping it. Get up here, then.

Get up here so everyone can see you. He won't. There you go.

He doesn't want to be on camera. I think he's a bit shy, unlike his old man. I tell you, it's weird.

The more often I do these videos, the less, well, not easier. I'm just like, I didn't, I struggled to get back into it a bit, like whole just kind of being on camera. And I know the lighting isn't great.

And I look like a tomato, but that's normal anyway. But generally, I was just, I didn't know if I wanted to be on YouTube, because I had such a long break. And for some reason, it's getting a little bit easier each time I do it.

In a sense of, I'm just kind of getting used to being on camera, I'm less, less self conscious about how I look. Some might argue, you should be more, you should be more self conscious. But it is what it is, you know.

I'm grey, I've also got a grey beard. It's not all grey, there's a few, few dark bits. It's weird, because in the past, most things seem to have happened in the past.

In the past, I used to get asked when I was in my probably 30s or 40s or whatever. Do you dye your hair? Do you dye? They might not have said it like that. Do you dye your hair? But they said, do you dye your hair? Like, no.

How come you haven't got no greys? Right, because I didn't really have much grey, I had a little bit of the front. And you know, a little bit in the beard, but you know, it's pretty much quite dark. I said, well, no, but if I did dye my hair, why would I leave a little bit grey? Why would I leave a bit there grey, a little bit there grey, a little bit there grey?

Why would I do that? I'd do it all, wouldn't I? I wouldn't miss parts.

And they said, I only asked. I said, well, yeah, you asked, so I'm answering. They said, I didn't need your life story.

I'm not giving you my life story. You asked, do I dye my hair? Which is a bit of a rude thing to ask, to be honest. Although, I've only known two people to dye their hair.

Like, that I've known personally. One was a comedian, comedian, stand-up comedian, and I didn't even know, and this is like, blimey. I didn't even know, it was like 50, 25 years ago, 30, whatever.

I didn't know he was that age, because he looked a lot younger. But he dyed his hair black, like boot polish black, like completely, like a colour that no one's ever had their hair ever. It was just, and no one could really, I literally, I believed that was his hair.

He might have been 40, 25 years ago. He was older than me anyway, so he's probably 65 now. He might, I don't know if he's 70, but 60.

I can't even say those numbers, it doesn't make sense. Heck, it's just weird. It's just weird.

Aging is strange, and you know, do you like my shirt, by the way? This is the only shirt that I possess. I don't own trousers. I don't own a suit.

I grew out the suit. The suit, I couldn't fit into the suit anymore, because, well, just because of my body, basically. I outgrew it, and I attended, I'm going to waggle my finger, because this is how important this is.

I attended a wedding ages ago, and I wore that suit, and it was the most uncomfortable evening that I've had for a long time, because not only was I sweating, I didn't want to take the top off, because the top was the jacket, or whatever you want to call it, of the suit. It was squashing me like that, all day, actually, because of the funeral, and the wedding, rather.

It was like midday, and then, so it went on for a pretty good 12 hours, really, the whole thing, maybe longer, so I'm stuck in this thing, but if I took it off, you'd see, I forgot to put a shirt on.

No, I didn't. I had a white shirt, but it was tucked in, and you could see my belly, and it's like, no, there was no winning, although I did, I went to a wedding once, and I wore, so it might have even been this shirt, but I wore a long, loose shirt, because this is quite, mind you, I've lost a bit of weight, so this is a little bit looser than it used to be.

I'm pretty sure this used to be really tight on my belly, maybe, so yeah, this is the only, I don't know if it's decent, this is quite, it was a decent shirt when I bought it, about 17 years ago, whenever it was, I think, I think, I had this when I was working in the call centre, that's how long ago it is, and so, again, I keep having to stop and start these podcasts, because of him barking, but I have to have the windows open,

it's too warm in here not to have the windows open, and I can't close that door, because then it just keeps, you know, it's just very stuffy, but at the same time, I don't want to complain about the weather being nice, because we don't have much of the heat, really, in this country, and it does come and go, but it's quite rare to have a lot of days, you know, in a row, although it's weird, because I just saw, I heard on a radio an advert from the water company,

asking people to use less water, like what, three days of heat, and suddenly they're worrying, we have, what's it, there's, there's over 200 days a year, isn't there, or okay, under 366 days a year, I would probably hazard a guess, that we might get, I'd say at least 200, probably 250 of those days, but at least 200 of them days is raining at some time, I mean in the country, right, every day has rain, pretty much around the country somewhere, that's why it's such a green and luscious land, exotic it is,

exotic, that's why there's geckos everywhere, no there isn't, I don't think we had them here, never seen a gecko here, seen a gecko in other places, but not in this particular country, so it was, it was, it is, it has, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, so yeah, a few days of heat, and suddenly, oh no, oh come on, we have rain all the time, I mean literally, nothing nearly every day last month was raining, apart from those when it wasn't, so yeah,

birthday, birthday boy, birthday boy, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, weenie, birthday boy, I will be, oh the two people with dark hair, so he decided, this, this comedian decided to let his, just stop dying his hair, and he, it wasn't like a little, it was like fully white, grey white, like proper, proper grey, so he did, I mean I know some people, I've got a friend actually, she said she turned grey when she was 16, so she dies her hair, I understand that, I had another,

someone I worked with that went grey when she was about 15, or started going grey when she was 15, and she was fully grey by the time she was 17 or 18, and yeah, you don't, I mean what young person that goes grey as a teenager isn't going to dye their hair, I think I would have done as well, funny enough Steve Martin, I think he used to dye his hair when he first started, because Steve Martin went grey really early in life, did you know that, see, I've got information,

it's not always useful, but Steve Martin went grey, grey, they say, what does it say, Steve Martin says going grey early helped his, oh, okay, I've, Steve Martin at the age of 78 is now finally in his 70s, that's a weird one, Steve Martin, this is the decider.com, I don't know what that is, Steve Martin at the age of 78, right, is now finally in his 70s, there's like, that's a pointless, what is the point of saying that when you've already said his age,

although many like to joke that the comedian has looked like a senior citizen for at least 40 years, Martin's hair went grey earlier than most in his early 30s, now I am pretty sure, so 78, okay, 78, so what year was he born then, so he's 78 now, my daddy is 79, my dad was born in 1940, 1944, 1944, so he was born in 1945, Steve Martin, 45, 55, 65, 75, blimey, he just never looked old did he, I don't, I think he's always looked the same and because he had grey hair and he was always quite pale,

sort of pale skinned and he just didn't, cos, I don't know, grey hair and pale skin is kind of like a, sometimes a sign of someone just old, I don't mean old people have grey skin, pale skin, because I'm, I'm old and I've got pink skin, so, I'm going to shut up now, I'm pretty sure that he went grey a lot earlier than that, seriously, Steve Martin at 25, wow, 1970 at 25 and he's got dark hair, a lot of hair as well, blimey, wow, I love Steve Martin, there's something about him,

oh I've got itchy nose, that's nice isn't it, nice to see on camera, I thought he started going grey when he was in his 20s or when he was 15, he was 32, he went prematurely grey by the time he was 32, which I guess is still, maybe still quite young, I mean I'm not grey yet, I've got grey but it's, when I shave, I tell you what I'll do, I'll shave in front of the camera one time and shave, cos I like to shave my hair off every now and then,

so what I'll do, I'll do it in front of the camera and then you can see the, in fact I would never shave my hair off, but if you send a million pound each, I will shave my hair off, live, but then you see it, it's in a bunch and it's, yeah there's some greys, you can't deny that, you can see it, but there's big chunks of just dark hair still, so I'm doing alright, what I'm not doing okay with is the baldness, I've got, I mean, it's thinning there,

it's thinning there, at the back I've got a bald patch, I said to my dad recently, I said look, it's not fair, he said, well life's not fair, go away, I said no, no, wait a minute, bit rude, I said you've got this, you've got hair, you're about 95 now, and he said now that's rude, I'm 79, and he said okay, I've got, I said you've got grey, his hair's not grey, it's white now, lovely hair, lovely white beard, honestly, I know it might sound weird to,

I've got a thing about his beard, it's just a beautiful thing, and maybe it's like a father Christmas thing, I don't know, but he's got this white beard, and he's got white hair, and it's just, I mean, it's not like thick, thick, but it's still there, and I said it's not fair, because I'm, when I get to your age, I'm probably going to be bald, and he found that humorous, humorous, it's like, well tough, it's not tough, is it, why do I have to have this, it's not fair, it's not,

that's not even a joke, I'm just, I'm unhappy about it, I'm seriously annoyed, because I didn't think I was going to go bald, because I've been looking at my dad, I haven't got, I don't, I'm not completely continuously looking at my dad, because that'd be weird, what I mean is, for appearance sake, I've seen how, I'm not, I don't look identical to my dad at all, but you can see that he's my dad, there's no, you wouldn't need, you don't need a DNA test to see that he's my dad,

it's one of those, I can't show you a picture of him, because that wouldn't be, he wouldn't be happy with that, but you'd probably laugh if you saw, not laughing at him, but just laugh at how similar we are, in a sense, and I mean, it's, it's an old story, I've told it before, but my, not induction, I can never remember it, you know when you receive your diploma, or your, your degree, that, that ceremony thing, so I was, I think I was in a taxi, or I was on a bus,

heading away, heading towards the town hall, where we were collecting our suits, and whatever stuff, you know, the placard boards, and my friend Lisa was there, and if it wasn't for Lisa, shout out to Lisa, she's not listening to this or watching it, but if she was, Lisa is the reason I got my degree, my first degree, if it wasn't for Lisa, I would not have my degree, that is 100% certain, and I don't feel good about saying that, because I feel grateful, but I don't feel,

I wish I hadn't been so reliant on another person, but I was, and I did rely on her, and she helped me in so many different ways, so yeah, I don't even know if I appreciated it at the time, to be honest with you, sometimes it takes me a little bit of stepping back, and looking at the situation, and like okay, there's certain things I really do appreciate, so Maria, who gave me my first counselling position, I'm so grateful for that, because I didn't, you know, after I qualified in 2009 as a counsellor,

and in December 2009, I started counselling for this charity, and she's the lady that gave me that voluntary position, but it's still like kind of life-changing really, and something I'd worked for for a couple of years to get to, and been aiming towards it for a while, yeah, there are people that I do feel grateful for, that I did at the time, but maybe a little bit more now as I step back, I do kind of, okay, they had a big impact on my life, a positive impact,

and like I do with most people, I just, I don't stay in people's lives generally at all, I'm not quite sure why that is, it's just, you know, I think more recently as I've not gone out so much, and I've got a couple of friends that I've just lost contact with, because there's not been that regular communication, and then it gets to, I've got one friend who, she had a bereavement, but at the same time as I just had a bereavement, and we couldn't be there for each other,

I couldn't be there for her, and she couldn't be there for me, and we kind of haven't really had much contact since then, so it was a weird, weird situation, but it's, it's just life, it's the way it goes sometimes, isn't it?

I mean, I was of no use to anybody really, back in December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, now I'm groovy, so, and there was that other bloke, he worked in the kitchen, he was a chef, I got on all right with him, I generally get on all right with most people, I do find that people I get on with often don't get on with each other, well, he started barking again, I don't know why I mention he barks, because you don't hear it, because I edit it out,

so I could probably just not mention it, but he heard something in the garden, he went on one, it lasted for about 10 seconds, and then he just went back to eating his bone again, he lost interest, so I don't know, who knows, I mean earlier today, I think it was possibly the first walk of the day, I was in the park, and he started barking at a couple, an elderly couple, it's going to come a time when I can't say the word elderly anymore, because I will be elderly,

I know probably some people think I am already, but I'm not, I'm just old, that's me at the moment, I'm old, I'm not old, but I'm old, older, older, that's where I am at the moment, so I just think that, I have to watch my, it's going to be weird, I think it's because I'm coming up to my birthday, and I'm talking about my birthday, and then I start talking about grey hair, and I start talking about a dad who's old, well he is fairly, he's getting on a bit,

and I start talking about Steve Martin who's 78, I can't believe he's 78, I love Steve Martin, I love, love Steve Martin, I mean I can't explain to you how much I love Steve Martin, and because I've talked before about his movies, now it's Thursday today, reminder Q&A Friday tomorrow, Q&A Friday, what I'll do when I've posted this, now what I'll do actually, when I've done this, I'll put a post on Facebook asking, only on my group, the Jason Newlands Boring Group on Facebook, I'll post the thing saying would you,

have you got any questions for Q&A Friday, I just remembered, blimey, I'm a little bit all over the place, because the week has seemed weird, because this morning, boxing was on, because the boxing that's on at the weekend, they did something they don't normally do, is they had three fights, they'll have a public workout, and that's normal, it's quite a normal thing for a big fight coming up, it's a public workout, then, and it was live, and then they had three of three of the undercard fights, or probably the pre-limb fights,

never known that to happen before, and it didn't even publicise it very well to be honest, so I knew it was on, because a friend told me that it was, they were doing it, I thought what, and I had to search, and I found, okay, yeah, yeah they are, and but the actual fight itself isn't, I think it starts something like nine, nine o'clock on Saturday night, and it'll be all, all through the night, so I don't quite know how I'm gonna, because it's in America, see I think it's in Los Angeles,

so yeah, I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to do that one, I might just, to be fair, I'll just fall asleep, if I fall asleep, I fall asleep, it don't matter does it, it don't matter at all, if I fall asleep, I fall asleep, so oh, another thing, I don't know if I mentioned it, I did a video this on my Jason's Boring Group, I keep saying it, but that's where I post stuff really, I do generally post like new videos, whatever on the other Facebook group pages,

but the Facebook group's a place where I really kind of share stuff, and it's on YouTube, and it's, it's a, it's about a 30 minute, nearly 30 minutes of me with Vinnie, 26 minutes and seven seconds, and it's just Vinnie, Walkies, 1st of August 2024, he's gonna bark again in a second, I know, and it's just me walking him, and, or him walking me, and there's a, there, I talk a little bit during it, but it's so cute, it's so little, and so I posted that, it's, a few people watch it,

but it's just, it's more for me, as a record, it's not just for me, it's for people that, you know, Vinnie's fans, that at least hear about him and stuff, but because he's not willing to get on camera for me, it's kind of hard to really let me, let you see what he's like, he doesn't, he doesn't like being picked up, so I have to respect that really, I'm not really big fan of being picked up either, it's hard to find many people that can pick me up, but, because I'm so fat,

but yeah, I need a crane, probably, so I, what was I told about, oh yeah, this bloke was in the kitchen, he was a chef, and he had jet black hair, and he came in once, out of the rain, and it was literally, his hair was melting on his head, the dye was just dripping down his face, and no one said anything to him, then he didn't, like, he didn't know, and it was very strange, because the thing is, he wasn't young, that's what I didn't quite understand, he wasn't young,

like, he wasn't old, but he was probably in his 40s or something, I don't, I can't, there's nothing really, maybe even older, and it's like, to me, being grey, I don't know, it's not really a huge deal, in your 40s, I don't like being grey, so I don't get, I don't get up, and every time I see myself in the mirror, and see I've got more grey, I don't start doing cartwheels, I don't write a poem to my grey hair, love poem, or anything like that, you know, but I do,

it's kind of, it's part of life, go grey, go a bit grey, and that's the least of my worries, look at me, I mean, I need a whole new face, and a hair, that's not, that's not really the biggest issue, I need a new body, and a new face, the only part of me that's okay, I think, for me, my hands are okay, you know, my hands are all right, but I've got, my legs aren't too bad, actually, my legs, I think because I've never had, I've never driven, never had a car,

so I've been walking everywhere, not everywhere, but I mean, I've been doing a lot of walking over my life, so my legs are pretty much okay, they haven't gone the same way as my belly, my big, fat, smelly belly, by the way, if there's any ladies out there, that are looking for romance, I am available, I am single, yeah, I am, hit me up, baby, so yeah, that's, there's probably someone out there that thinks, oh, that's it, that's all they'll think is, oh, you know, I've done this before,

I've talked about how good looking I am, like, you know, it was obviously a joke, and I had a car, I had one person said, well, you're so up yourself, meh, meh, meh, meh, you think it's so lovely, don't you, meh, meh, meh, meh, you think you're beautiful, don't you, meh, meh, meh, meh, I don't believe you ever used to be a model, meh, meh, meh, meh, like, no, obviously, I mean, what, what would I, what, I mean, the only thing I could be a model for is probably for diet pills,

and that would be the before picture, have to get someone else for the after picture, unless, of course, the diet pills worked, but I wouldn't use them anyway, I wouldn't use pills, I had nowhere to go with that one, that was pretty much the end of the sentence, so yes, he had really black hair, but he never used to talk to anyone, he used to say hello to me, he used to talk to me, I don't know why, but he used to put his headphones on, he didn't like talking to people,

and it was kind of strange, I don't know why, I think, maybe he's just shy, I mean, that was a period when I used to have my headphones on quite a lot, but I'd always take my headphones if I saw someone, I'd acknowledge them and stuff, but I was listening to self-help tapes, and this was like the late, late 1997, late, some time, I mean, there was one time, again, there was a chef that was really angry, we had a really angry chef once, hard to believe, a chef that's angry,

no, he was proper angry, and he got himself into a bit of trouble, to be honest, but on this occasion, I was in the club during the day, it would have been probably late afternoon, so they were preparing, they were prepping the food and getting everything ready for the evening, so it was a pretty couple of hours before we opened, probably, and they had, an electrician was in there, who was my friend's nephew, the owner of the club's nephew, so he was in there, and he said to me, oh god,

what, oh no, I think the, I'm going to tell this story wrong, because I can't remember how it ended up, I know how it ended up, but I don't know how it got, but one of them said to me, make sure no one, I'm going to do this often, make sure no one turns the electric on, or whatever, because he turned the electric off, and the chef did something, oh god, yes, the electric socket was in the, there was an electric thing in the kitchen, and the electrician said to me,

don't let anyone turn the socket on, because I'm going to be fixing a wiring in the club, it was the lighting or something, I said, all right, now, I didn't realize that the chef had come in a different door, he'd come in the back door, because I was basically at all the entrances apart from, and he must have just come in, unlocked the door from, and I didn't hear him, I had my headphones on, yeah, probably, so the chef came in, and suddenly there was this big bang, and a scream,

and the electrician came in, and he'd, he hadn't had a shock, but he'd had a miss, a very, very near miss, because he'd done something, and it, I think it had shortened a bit, it was like exploded, and luckily he didn't touch anything, so he was safe, but it proper shook him, like emotionally, which it would, I guess, so he comes, he comes running into the kitchen, and he starts having a go at the chef, like really, what'd you do, turn it on for, and they're about to have a punch up,

they're literally getting, like grabbing each other, and I separated them, I screamed first, and I said no, no, no, no, no, no, this is my fault, it's like the chefs didn't know, you told me, you didn't tell anyone else, I didn't know the chef was in there, I didn't know he was going to climb in through the window, how was I going to know that, parachute through the letterbox, and, but they, the chef was angry at the way the electrician was talking to him, or shouting at him,

so he started being verbally abusive back to him, and even when I said that was my fault, they were already angry at each other, for the, the, the back and forth verbally, but I just nipped it in the bud, said get out, said get out of the kitchen, you go and calm off, calm down, I said you can blame anyone, blame me, and they didn't know what to do with that, luckily I only spent three weeks at hospital, and I recovered eventually, because, god, that was a proper, they didn't stop punching me,

no, it's not true, they weren't big fans of each other after that, for some reason, yeah, there was some strange characters in that club, over the years that I met, not straight, just like unusual characters, as I get on with everyone generally, but not everyone gets on with each other, that's why I'm, that's why I'm a one-on-one person, I don't like groups, and I don't necessarily want to know anybody that you know, I made that mistake when I moved here, you know, I just, I'll be friends with the person, not,

I don't want to know anybody that they know, including their family, their other friends, or anything, I'm really a one-on-one person, that's me, and each friend I've got are separate, they don't know each other, generally, so, and that, that always worked for me, and I kind of, I stopped doing that for a while, and then I realized why I did it in the first place, because if you know people, it's just gossip, if you know people that know people, then they're talking about each other, if they're talking about each other,

then they're going to be talking about me as well, you know, it's just standard stuff, so you don't get that, if you don't know, if the person that you know doesn't know anyone that you know, and you don't know anyone that they know, you can gossip to each other, but no one is ever going to hear it, you can, you, they can tell you everything about their friends and their family, but it doesn't mean anything, in a sense of, it's not going any further, because I've got no one to tell it to,

I wish I did, but there's no one, I have to write it down in a blog, and just post it online, no, so yeah, Finn is loving that bone, but he's also hearing, he's always listening, always listening, like what can I hear, oh you know what I'm doing today, and it's not like me to get excited over food, but I decided, I don't normally plan ahead, but I did today, I'm going to have a cooked breakfast, now it's seven minutes to eight in the evening, and you might be thinking,

a cooked breakfast, but Jason, it's, it's, it's, it's in the evening, you can't be having a cooked breakfast in the evening, and some of you might think, if you're listening, or you've listened before, or seen me before, but I thought you said that you lost weight, what's the point in, in losing weight, and then starting eating breakfast, fully cooked breakfast, doesn't defeat the object, well let me tell you about this cooked breakfast I'm going to have, you ready, so here's the breakfast I'm going to have, I'm so looking forward to it,

I haven't had any cooked food for days and so it's this good, and I'm going to have two poached eggs, I'm going to have probably four sausages, but they're not sausages, they are vegetarian sausages, which means they can be low fat, nothing's being fried, so I'm going to grill them, I might have two, two sausages, I want four though, I might have two, and then I'm going to have a tomato, poached tomato, and then I'm going to put it underneath, or what I might do, yeah, I think I might do is,

yeah, what I'm going to do, yeah, I'm going to put the tomato, slice of tomatoes, and put it under the grill, so I'm going to grill tomatoes, one tomato grilled, and then I'm going to have some beans, baked beans, so it's an egg, sausages, beans, tomato, and then probably the unhealthiest part is, maybe I'll have some bread, but the problem with having bread or toast maybe, but I don't have margarine or butter on my toast anymore, which means it's pointless, unless there's something inside it that's a bit runny,

so like I can have a poached egg inside a toast, or inside of a sandwich, because it's runny, and it's it it's moist, I love that word, it's oh it's mmm, and bread, I know it's not the best thing to be eating, so I might not bother with the bread, but I do have toast, you know, I have egg sandwiches a couple of times a week, probably, or at least once a week, and that's what I'm going to have for dinner, and I'm happy, I'm looking forward to it,

because I said I haven't had any cooked food for a while, and especially at the weekend, I was walking around with Vinnie in the park, and everybody, well it seemed everybody, I know not everybody ever, and does anything, not everybody does everything, but there's a lot of barbecues, and I was just like dribbling, I was standing at people's fences, just like, oh please chuck me a sausage, just just stick a, so there's a, I was just like, oh just stick a stick sausage through the hole in the fence,

and I thought, man that's weird, and I walked away, but it was really, it smells so good, this is going to take ages to edit, it really is, it's just, he keeps barking, he keeps barking, there's no good time to make recordings or videos around here, he's super sensitive, he's got very sensitive hearing, and the thing is, he's so friendly, he loves everybody, so if he hears a neighbor leaving their front door, opening door, whatever, he wants to go and say hello to them, that's all it is, he's not being,

he's not doing it to be annoying, I mean it is annoying, but he's, it's really just out of love, because he's got so much love in him, and so what's everybody but me, me, so I don't know what, I was just talking about my food, wasn't I going to have, oh sundaes, I smell all the roast dinners on a sundae, oh, sometimes I just want to knock on people's doors and say, look, I know you don't know me, but feed me, feed me now, but I mean, I do wonder,

you know, if I knock on someone's door and say, oh I'm just, I'm a local neighbor, but I was wondering if you could, it's going to sound a bit weird, I see you've got dogs, you've got a dog, I suppose you've got a spare, a couple of spare poo bags I could borrow of you, so they'll go off to get the poo bags, and I'll just walk in with Vinnie and sit down at the dinner table, start eating their dinner, do you think they'd be bothered, yeah, they'd notice, wouldn't they,

yeah, it's a noticeable thing, I think it's good to share though, see there's a place, I don't really get takeaways anymore, but I used to, it's a long time ago now, last time I did it, but I used to get, not regularly, but on a Sunday, I'd get a roast dinner delivered from this carvery place, and it was just a meal for one, but there was so much stuff, I'd half it and I'd give it to my friend downstairs, because there was enough for two people, literally was so much stuff,

and yeah, I haven't had that for a long time, not this year anyway, definitely haven't had it this year, wow, those were the days of my life, so yeah, I wonder how many people have actually watched the Switch, what, I want to just look at, I want to look at my, my, so I'm on the Apple, what's it, iPad, and trying to look at my, oh there it is, okay, eight views, eight views of the Vinnie Walkies, so I think it's because it's a long one,

so it's not quite as popular as the shorter ones, if it was only like a minute, I probably would have had hundreds of views by now, but that's all right, it's, it's more for me, because I started to realize I've got so many videos of Andre, and I didn't have much stuff of Vinnie, so I'm trying to get a bit more stuff just through, it's there, so it's not, it's for other people to see as well, but it's for me, so I've got it, I've got it now, you know,

it's like there forever, and it's cool, yeah, I'll tell you the two, two, yeah, Relax In 12 Minutes, three days ago, I've had 173 views of that, and somebody posted a really, well, let me just make sure it doesn't, well, I'll get out of that, yes, someone posted and it said, deep voices are so rare in ASMR, thanks, so I did, I did reply, so thank you, he's like, nobody's ever called my voice deep before, I've heard, I've always, if you watch some of my videos from like years ago,

15 years ago, 16 years ago, I used to sound like a 10-year-old boy, hello, welcome to www.jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes, and I had dark hair and a dark beard, maybe no beard at times, and it was so long ago, it was in black and white, seriously, I was young, this is weird, because this, let's see the video, it looks like I've only got half a head, how weird, strange, my hair is kind of like that, the things on YouTube,

the hypnosis stuff, the relaxation stuff is way more popular than the Let Me Bore You To Sleep videos, like so much more, for example, this one's got, was it 173 views from a few days ago, I know that's not a lot in general, but, and then there's stop worrying, that got, that's four days ago, 266 views, and it was, oh, that's, yeah, that's only four days ago, wow, but then if you look at the stats of my latest Let Me Bore You To Sleep, two days ago, 1170 number, boxing schedule,

Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 24 views, and yesterday's Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 1171, it's hot, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 14 views, so, you know, I mean, it's like, they're not so popular, my most popular videos, the most popular one I've done is actually number 23, relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks, 1400 views two months ago, that's now my most popular video on YouTube, the other ones like 682, that's a Let Me Bore You To Sleep one, so that's surprising, power cuts, number 913,

then old video, one sleep hypnosis weekly, 601 views, old video, number two, sleep hypnosis weekly, 432, old video, ASMR whisper, short mindfulness session, 333, and then another one, old video, 22, relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, 307, that's from two months ago, so it's all, it's all old stuff, but what have I got, 1600 videos, but I didn't realize, 1600, that's quite a lot, isn't it, it's quite a lot of videos, so that's how many videos I've got, blimey, see yeah, I don't know the 1350 subscribers now, so it's growing,

just slowly but surely, and it's all right, I'm okay with that, I'm not in a hurry, I'm not in a big hurry, someone did say, why don't you put a picture of you now, why have you got a picture of yourself when you were nine years old, as your profile picture on YouTube, but then you've only got to see my videos to see me, because I'm on most of the videos, and you can see me, so you can see what I look like, I just think that,

that was the last time I looked cute, was when I was nine, I was lovely there, look I was so big, thick hair, I was not opening up, big thick hair, and probably a few missing teeth, oh chin, oh my hair, looks like I haven't got ears, ears, also you can see I've got big old floppy ears, but back then, you know, I had a friend at school, that had his ears pinned back, like surgically pinned back, for, because he, I don't know if it's body dysmorphia or whatever,

but he really had an issue with his ears sticking out, and when he had them in, he had them pinned back, and it hurt, you know, he was in pain for a bit, and I remember like, I'm saying to him, look I know you've had your ears done, but you do realise everyone else is going to find something else to make fun of you about, it's not like that was the only thing, I didn't say that, I did not say that, to me his ears were fine, his ears were no,

no more sticky out here than I was, than mine, but strange, I mean he was, he was a lovely lad, he's a great mum, such, mum was lovely, I used to go around there, and she was so lovely, and I don't really get why, it's by everyone different, everyone's different, and they, I mean I had problems with my ears, just because I was partly deaf when I was at school, and I used to get earaches a lot when I was about eight years old, and I went into,

I had to have an operation, I had my adenoids removed, I kept going into having hearing like, hearing tests, like I'd have to listen like, with headphones on, and it'd be like really high pitch, and then really low, and then really faint, and I'm like, so eventually they said that it's my ears, the cause of it was, it was like a blockage, really, there's some kind of dislodged, or it might have been due to, I took a, had some physical trauma or something in my ear, like I took a,

took a knock to the head or something when I was little, so it got, that's what the doctor said at the time, and then I, it's weird that I remember these things, it was a few years ago, in fact you could argue it's a few more than a few, a few more than a few, so yeah, that's, I thought I was going to have anything done, it would have been a nose job, you know, obviously, I would have had a, never been happy with the size of my nose, I've always wanted it bigger, has anyone ever gone to have a nose extension?

I don't think that's ever happened, ever, like my nose is just too dainty and cute, I'd like it a bit bigger please, can I have it big and bulbous please, just like JJ, do you know what you'd like your nose to look like? Yes, this is, this podcaster called Jason, he does these boring podcasts and he just, I just want to look like that, isn't he dreamy?

Yeah, sure, it's, it is what it is, I could have had surgery, I could have done, I could have had stuff done, I mean there's still time I guess, still could, I'll just bang the microphone, whoops, I still could, still could have in the future, I mean I could have a hair transplant if I felt I needed that and I could start dyeing my beard and dyeing my hair, what's left of it and I could do all kinds of things, I could have tummy tuck, but then, I mean it's like,

this is the argument isn't it for me, in the past, there's always the argument, it's like I could go and have a pay to have my stomach the fat taken out or whatever, I could spend that money on that or I could spend that money on more cakes, more chocolate, more fizzy drinks, it's like, you know, so I kind of went on that side, now I can't have any of that stuff because of my blood sugar level, so I can't eat cakes, I can't eat sugar stuff, I can't have chocolate,

fizzy drinks, no, I can't have any of that stuff anymore, but at the same time, I don't really want to have something, I just, I'd rather just let things occur naturally, so I've lost a little bit of weight, I can't exercise at the moment because I've got a bit of a bad back and although that is gradually improving, I hope, yeah it is actually, but it's taking its time, so I think the more I can get out and walk the better it will be, it's just been a bit too,

a bit too warm, a little bit too warm, a bit too hot to be honest, and but once it, I'm not, I'm not like, oh please let it cool down because I know a lot of people love hot weather, I'm not really one of them, but it's fine, I like the sun, I like it when it's bright, I'm not, I don't, not a huge, because I can't, I can't dress down, I can't walk around in a t-shirt and look good, that's the bottom line, I can't look good in a t-shirt,

so I kind of prefer to just, it's nice to have it sunny because I know most people seem to like it and I want everyone to be happy if they can be, but at the same time I don't mind the autumn or the spring because that doesn't really affect me too much, like wind, wind can't blow me over anymore, that's just, you know, I'm sure a hurricane could, but we don't really get that kind of windy here in this country.

It'll be a bit of a contest though. Yeah, blimey, I was just thinking about something else then. So I'm going to go because I'm going to have some food and after talking about eating food, I started to think, I want to go and eat some food now, so that's what I'm going to do.

I will edit this tomorrow morning, so thank you for listening, remember, or watching, remember to be kind to yourself, remember to be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.