(no music) #1176 - First Step Mummy - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (13th August 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep and a hot dog. Even though he's got water over there, haven't you? You've got water you can drink. My website is jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Oh yes. So today I am going to with two, oh excuse me, I've decided to do two recordings, two Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings today and tomorrow.

One is going to be about my first step mum and tomorrow's is going to be about my second step mum. Just what I decided to do. The reason for the second one tomorrow is because it's her birthday tomorrow so I thought she's not going to see it but I thought it would just be nice to talk about her.

Not in a bad way just like tell you about her really. So but today is step mother numero one. So where do I start? Oh I should just point out it's been very very warm today.

It's been very warm. Warm like proper warm. Not just just hot not particularly comfortable because I don't know if you can notice that if you can see I've caught the sun and even on my arms a little bit because I'm not, I've got a red face anyway.

I'm basically a walking tomato and I catch the sun. I get sunburned even in the winter so I just thought yeah mention the weather. How interesting.

So I'm going to also look at trying to get the volume of these recordings up a little bit because I did a recording yesterday which was a it was a try and stay awake challenge and on YouTube the video I was someone said the volume was too low and so what I did is I took it off deleted it and I redid the video and made the volume higher.

So I'm wondering if the same is the case on the podcasts. I'm not sure.

No one's really said anything about the podcast being too low but you know it's no point me making them if you can't hear what I'm saying because let's face it you've been missing a lot of interesting stuff. A lot of really exciting material. So last time I did a Let Me Bore You To Sleep was Friday.

It's now Monday and it's been a couple of particularly warm days but although I didn't do you know I did make a recording yesterday it just wasn't one of these ones. Yeah that's it. I ain't got nothing else to say really.

I've done about three poos today so that's good. Good to keep track. It's all about all about creating memories really isn't it.

That's what life's about. So first of all let's do a what are my gratitude and all for. All right oh he's licking himself again.

Nice. You know when I first did this setup oh part of the reason I did it like this is so that Vinnie because he did get up and he was all active like he was right at the beginning of this recording. Then he gets on the floor he gets bored and that's it.

I thought he'd be maybe you know even yesterday on the try and stay awake challenge. I actually put a cushion on here. He didn't sit on it and for the first 15 minutes he had me laughing because he went over to the other side and all I could hear was he was licking himself.

And it was honestly it was so loud and I could see what he was doing and in the end I just had to I just started laughing and you don't get to see that because I edited it out because it probably wouldn't have fitted in with the falling asleep but possibly. I just couldn't stop laughing because he just he was looking at me like what is your problem it's mine and I lick it if I want to.

So yeah my first step month so I'll give you a little history a little history lesson of my life.

Just quickly I was born in 1970 26th of August my birthday and coming up soon I'll be 54 54 in I don't even know how many days what 10 days 12 days three times a leave I don't know how many days I don't know what day it is today oh yeah I do know it's the 12th today because the 13th tomorrow so 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 so it's 14 days it's more than three days until my birthday so I will

you know look forward to all the presents so 54 54 54 54 it's ridiculous it really is ridiculous I can't explain to you how ridiculous it is that I will be 54 in more than two days in less than three months time I'll be 54 it's like how how how how I don't understand how can I be 54 oh I don't know just seems weird it really it do seem weird to me and I remember when I was like I don't know I remember yesterday I was gonna say I remember

when I was 40 but I when was the last the last birthday that I actually remember well I was 50 during the the old lockdown period so that was my 50th birthday 2020 the last time I saw any member of the family apart from my dad and my step-mom was 2019 in the August that was when my step-mom's birthday was before so I'm thinking it's five years later I think she might be I think she might be retirement age I'm not 100% sure I don't want to give her age away

but she's still young she's a lot younger than my dad she's about 100 years younger than my dad yes it's been five years you gotta say yours in this country if you're on television you're not allowed to say years which is how it says years years that's how it should be but if you're on television or on the radio and you're a presenter you have to say yours yours especially if you're a politician yeah so four yars ago pretending to be posh anyway what was I talking about right I was

born in 1970 in London and I lived there for about my original um birth mother vaginal mother whatever you want to call it but her the person that gave birth to me she took off when I was about six months three or three to six months old apparently I don't remember because I I forgot to put it in the journal forgot to write it down I was a bit busy being a baby and during that period between for about the next year and a half to two years I lived with

foster parents and then the foster parents this is what I've been told again I don't remember this um I don't have any photographs that'd be lovely that'd be nice a few photographs of them but no so you know for all intents and purposes she was my mum the lady she was my mum for what a year and a half two years I didn't know anything else so then and then my buyer female came back and she took me and my brothers my two brothers and took us away when I was

about two and a half maybe two I don't remember so in that period between two and just before I was seven we lived with her in what was it Newcastle and then I ended up in I don't know what age but I ended up in a children's home in Newcastle Nazareth house and then ended up in another Nazareth house children's home in South End and then just before I was seven I moved my dad and his new wife took us and take us they took us on me and my two

brothers and so that's getting you up to date to the point where I start this story it's not really a story it is a story but it's not a story and if you're wondering you look like you're sweating that's because I've got about 10 lights shining on me and it's 55 degrees outside it's not 55 degrees but it's warm it's too warm to have all these lights shining at me so if I close my eyes all I can see is that ring light that's right in my face you still see

it it's burnt into my cornea so yeah so it was 1977 we came back the first time we we got told because it was me my brother that was two years older and my other brother that was four years older now four years is a long time it's a lot you know when you're seven eight nine ten eleven eleven and a seven year old is a big difference in age now there's not a lot of difference because we're both old although he is much older four years actually and under seven

years older than me over three years old and he we were told that your dad's coming to see you right now I didn't know the only father I'd known of was my stepfather who used to be with my mother and in Newcastle so we all got under this bed which is weird because I don't remember any really big beds being there so I don't know how we fitted under it it was like it was under a double bed but I don't think why would they have a double bed in a

children's home what was that for I don't know maybe I don't know I'm trying to think of a reason I can't think of a reason maybe we just all fitted under this one single bed because it's a door we had dormitories I didn't sleep in the same room as my oldest brother I don't think so different dormitories because there's a few kids there's boys and girls there and sometimes they did do only sex only sex like one but only girls or only boys but on this occasion only in this place

there was just both that's when it was only two you know back in the days so we got under the table and under the table we got under the bed and we decided we were going to um I'm trying to I want to say the I don't want to say the words I don't want to say anything horrible but we were gonna um send him to we're gonna send him away because we thought it was the bloke from Newcastle so it's really weird it's strange they might not even remember this

but we all kind of decided and I was like yeah yeah I was six I was like I don't know what I know if you're talking about but yeah yeah I'll do it so we all went in there we had little we had knives in our pockets and they were just like cutlery knives it might have even been plastic I don't know so we go into this into this room ready to see him this bloke ready to uh go into action whatever that meant I don't know at the time and

it wasn't him it wasn't the person we thought it was our real dad who I'd never seen before well I had but I was a baby so I didn't know who he was and I don't think my other brother remembered who he was either but my oldest one did he remembered him and because he was like he still lived with my grandparents during that period when I was in foster care so he lived with them for like a year and a half two years so I was born when he was

four five six it was about six and a half six or six and a half when he moved away so he he knew my dad he remembered him it hadn't been that long really in his life as well eight nine six seven eight nine ten five years it's quite a long time I suppose anyway anyway we saw this big man with this big bushy beard and my brother started laughing my oldest brother and he was like okay calm down to us like we was we were confused I saw like who

is this who's this bloke who is it because I used to be Italian at the time uh going through a period who is it uh I don't know who it is uh brother who who is this a man I don't and um my older brother just like we we all play so shut up I don't like it when you talk like this why don't you talk normally and my middle brother was like I don't understand what you're doing why don't why you always putting on these fake accents and it was

it was weird weird moment and and then my dad spoke he was like oh hello everybody he sounded like Nelson Mandela hello my friends how are you today he didn't this is really silly this is really silly uh it has to be silly because it was quite serious so I I can't help but make it silly because it was it's quite a serious story really though he said oh I said who are you so I um I um I can't do it said I am your father you're you're my son

and my oldest brother says um I can't know what he said he's like yeah that's this is daddy say hello to daddy won't you it's daddy you haven't seen him for a while but he's your daddy and um my middle brother was like yeah I don't understand why you keep talking like that that's a very strange way to talk why can't you just talk normally and I was the only normal person there so I felt like just you're weird weirdos why just just just just you know what there's enough strangeness

going on as it is so you know anyway it was a weird one because I didn't know who he was but there was this big he was smiling he was big beautiful man with a massive beard long hair it was the 70s well yeah well it was the 70s 1977 and uh I just didn't know what to do and I'm like okay and then he said I can't do it can't keep doing the voices then he said that I'd like you to meet your mother I'd like you to meet your

new mother I said new mother new mother I mean that didn't sound too bad and I mean first of all I thought oh don't don't tell me she just had a makeover I mean it's the same person but she's had her hair dyed differently and she's wearing a I don't know different boots he said no because I said out loud I didn't realize oh he was telepathic no he wasn't hello mother so she just jumped out it was weird right she was standing behind him the whole time she was there

the whole time because my dad's so big and it's a big strong muscly man she was standing behind him now I've thought first of all I thought maybe she was hiding in his rucksack but she wasn't I mean she just it's a say hello to your nose say hello to your no sounds and we just heard like hi everybody I'm your new mom and we looked at her it's weird because I'd never met anyone I was well I never met anyone that was as short as me so she was really

really short three foot tall which was this you know it's nice it's good to have a new friend she wasn't that tall I don't know why I said that so this beautiful woman steps out from behind him and she almost hopped I don't quite know what that was about I don't know I found out later that one of the she was a bit nervous and one of the nuns pushed her that also didn't happen so she said hi like hello it was very awkward didn't really know what to think I

mean I don't know what because I was I can't remember but I remember little bits you know little little little little little tiny things of the the event and I don't know I think we might have went out for the day in um Southend I forgot where it was in Thailand in Southend we probably went out for a few hours perhaps got some chips maybe went on the beach you know stuff like that and then came back and we got on well my dad was amazing she was lovely and the

then it started we used to we started visiting at weekends for a couple of months and then we moved so by the June I would say we moved there moved in with him his new wife and his mother-in-law his mother-in-law so we moved into this white house so we've been visiting we've been staying there most weekends for a period of time and then we moved in and so it's not really about where we lived is it but so we talk about her I want to talk about my first step-mom so

I don't want to say her name let's just call her Steppy one Steppy number one and she was so lovely seriously she was so lovely I took to her like really straight away and I used to sit on her lap in the car those were the days when you used to be able to do that I mean um I'm not even sure if we had any seat belts on at the time she might have had a seat belt on I don't know if I did but you know those were the

days when people didn't it wasn't it wasn't legal wasn't a legal uh thing you didn't have to have a seat belt on Vinnie seriously mate calm yourself down good boy otherwise you're going into the bedroom now Vinnie started to uh pipe up which is annoying don't you hey yeah yeah so he hasn't hardly drunk any water he hasn't eaten any food today it's been too hot but why is he not drinking water but he's been out three times because he wanted to go out three times so he's been out he's

still got lots of energy still exactly the same but he's just not hasn't eaten anything but I know that if I gave him anything that I was eating or I gave him any treats he'd have it he'd eat it all up so for some reason he's not wanting to eat his own food oh yeah hey I love having him here to a degree but the noise the hell out of me when I'm trying to make a recording it really winds me up there's enough noise around here but the thing is

the only the only thing the only thing he's reacting to is that noise get off the table Vinnie get off the table get off the table one two thank you what are you doing what are you doing see he wants I don't know what he wants he wants to do something what is it you want to do Vinnie so we got on really well I got really well with her as did my other brothers and she she basically I don't know what point I started calling her mum or mummy I

think I probably called her mummy to be honest and but up to that point in my life she was the best thing that ever happened to me it's the first time I I don't know if I felt loved I don't know if I've ever felt loved but probably the first time that I felt like I loved somebody I love my dad as well but like there was a there was a much I had a much deeper connection with her maybe because I needed it to be honest with you needed a

mum needed a mummy so to wait till the age of seven was a long time to be able to have that connection so she was very special and yeah I used to it was kind of weird like during our time together because I was with her from 1977 and then the last time I really saw her like regularly saw her was 1987 yeah 1987 around April time because she moved away she moved up to a different part of the country to be with her new new boyfriend husband became a husband

so that was the last time I really had any regular kind of contact and I haven't spoken to her for last time I saw her I think was when my little brother was in hospital with his appendix burst and didn't realize she was a nurse and I saw her there she visited when we were there and we all left pretty quickly so it was all awkward you know previous husband and stuff my dad I mean and so I was up there with my dad and his wife and that was probably

an awkward position to be in and I plus I was dressed as a clown awkward all around didn't have any trousers on either but yeah so that was probably when he was very young so I would probably hazard a guess 25 years ago 20 years ago 25 years ago when he did that maybe longer might have even been in the 90s I really don't remember exactly is he making enough noise really Vinnie are you making enough noise so but really 1987 was the last time I really had any sort of

contact because I was living with her in my in her mother's flat I lived there for nearly a year nearly a year yeah that was a year was it a year I think it was a year blimey yeah it was a year from 1986 that April time until 1987 so I was sleeping in the living room on a little camper bed that was awkward especially at that age because 15 but you know until the August I was 16 and then come the April I was I had my I lived in

a flat above the chip shop and that's the last time I really had any regular contact so I but you know a lot happened in those 10 years so she I absolutely adored her I did absolutely absolutely adored her and she was so kind she was funny she was positive positive person she had a lot of good qualities a lot of talents as well she was a brilliant artist she was a really great pianist and he's a pianist pianist so she played the piano and she also was great at cooking

and baking and stuff like that and I used to like helping her with that stuff with the cooking not so much the cooking cooking like proper food but baking oh yes oh yes and I'd help with the housework and Vinnie get away from the plug get away from the plug Vinnie what's wrong with you why can't you just behave yourself there's water over there if you walk if you're hot I tell you if he keeps moaning I'm going to actually spray him with cold water I don't know how that's going

to stop him moaning probably make him moan even more but Vinnie just go go just behave I don't need you distracting me when I'm having a serious conversation so yeah um we so moving from 1977 so everything was smooth I went to a school locally I don't remember much about that period really because it didn't last long that little period because we're living in this big white house was a white house and I think it's the house that she grew up in my my step-mom but it was condemned it had

some kind of I think it was sinking or some kind of problems with the house so we had to move out we her mum moved into a flat got her own council flat and we moved into a council house on a new build estate so there were still houses being built around us and it was a three-bedroomed house two bedrooms and a box room but I had the box room so I was I was seven and a half probably when we moved in there maybe I was seven anyway I don't

know what age age was seven and it was the first time I'd ever had my own room it was like wow it was brilliant because my two brothers they had bunk beds in the other room I don't know how I got so lucky to have my own room but it was brilliant so yeah and I had my Bruce Lee poster on the wall and that's at the time that at that time that's when we started to accumulate stuff because we didn't have any belongings really other than what we were given

once we moved there once we moved to to where my dad was and his wife so I think I had a book maybe a colouring book or something and a few little bits of clothing and stuff but the only things we had was toys that they gave us so I guess I would have had stuff for my birthday when I turned seven and then for Christmas and you know stuff like that so that's when we started getting stuff toys and having belongings so really for the first nearly seven years I

didn't really have much in a way of belongings other than just basically living out of a little wardrobe with stuff you know just clothes to wear so it's quite good to sort of have stuff and I'm trying to think of some of the toys I mean I think we shared the toys anyway things like Kaplunk we had like toys that were I don't know if they were just like communal toys kind of family toys like Kaplunk, Buckaroo, Monopoly, Drafts, Frustration, does anyone remember Frustration?

It had a little thing in the middle and you pushed it down and it used to make the dice run it used to move things around it might not be a very good description of it but it was called Frustration and I've not even thought about Frustration probably for decades. Wow what's the other one? Operation, do you remember? Looked like me the bloke that was on the table.

What else? Snakes and Ladders.

What's that one that's it's all about the like as a crime thing and there's the iron and then there's the rope and there's the whatever I forget the name of it but we had that as well.

Now Monopoly was all right I didn't mind Monopoly but it went on for a bit went on a little bit too long for a child of my age it was like this is not quite as interesting as it probably is for someone a bit older you know it's like but yeah I wasn't really into that so much I play it but it's you know I'd love to watch cartoons which is what we used to do used to watch cartoons in the morning on a Saturday that's one of my memories of

my first step-mom she used to us all lifting her legs up so she could vacuum the floor because for some reason she had to vacuum while we were watching telly on a Saturday morning which never quite understood because especially when we were visiting she knew we were visiting they knew they were coming to pick us up on a Friday night and we were going to be there till the Sunday late afternoon and they were taking us back so why couldn't she have done the hoovering or done the vacuuming the Friday

or before we got there why wait till Hong Kong food is on tv just a question sorry I'm you know it's bugged me for a little while I'll let it go one day I will I'll let it go so yeah I remember going back that was hard for because you know as a little kid a month is a long time so I don't know how long we we went backwards and forwards but we used to leave when Rent-A-Ghost was on telly it was this tv show Rent-A-Ghost and it used to

be on so I don't know what time it was on maybe four o'clock five o'clock in the afternoon and then we'd drive back to South End and yeah that was emotional I was like a little monkey like clinging to her please don't let me go I love you I was that was um that was her not me that was me and mama mama so I used to constantly mama mama can I have more cake mama mama mama she got fed up with me quite quick actually it's weird I don't know

why mama I just follow her around mama mama mama so yeah she used to hide sometimes I didn't realize she was hiding from me I mean she did she would play hide and seek and so she'd say go in the garden hide and seek I'd hear the car start and she'd drive off anyway so yeah she was um she was lovely it was it was weird she used to be I wish she'd come and say goodnight to me you know right away up to 16 no she was probably 10 probably

9 or 10 she'd like come and always like say goodnight to me and stuff and then close the door and I'd always like oh and I'd feel hear the lock go and she'd lock it and you'd hear the banging of the wood you know just to make sure I couldn't open the door and my dad would be doing the windows bang bang bang like that showering it's gonna be a full moon soon quickly keep hammering keep hammering we can't let him get out again but you know it's nice those nice

memories yeah I mean she introduced me to the library I didn't know what library was I didn't know I didn't know how would I know how would I know so she introduced me to the library and I I loved it I couldn't believe it it's just like books books and books and rows of books more books I love books and I just was renting book after book after book and maybe I've got to stop saying the word book because we get it books library I love the books I'll be remember

the first time I went in there I was like I cannot believe it what they do the book is that what I like I got to read that so much I'm like I remember I remember the first time I got home uh and I had about wow I'm sure they should let us take about six books out so I had these six books bearing in mind I was only two inches tall so these books were really like my dad actually he I remember he looked at me he said he said

hey hey wife look those books are walking on their own and um she said oh don't be silly husband it's Jason it's only Jason holding the books he said oh that's funny oh and uh yeah because I was so little that was a point I was so little that was a bit pointless but yeah I used to love the books especially the new books there's something about that smell fresh ink well it's not it fresh is it I mean might be months old but it's like the the smell of a

new book ah I used to all kinds of books I used to like to read I used to read the children's section because I was a child and I went through phases I used to quite go through used to read a lot of astronomy books or I couldn't tell you the first thing about astronomy now and I used to read books like the reference books up there uh that's where the I think that's where the astronomy books used to be I think I think but I'd also look at other things

I look at other books and comedy sections and stuff like that but generally I could uh if there was a new book I'd get it calm yourself down Vinnie you hear noise all the time the amount of noise not even noise just sounds not noise it just sounds and if he's asleep or if he's sometimes he actually will is like and then go back to sleep he'll growl in his sleep at a noise but he's can't be bothered to actually get up and bark it's like I do hear him do

it honestly he's like you know in connection to a sound you know what it doesn't make a sound to the dustbin people the the refuge not refuge refuse collectors and they make so much noise all they do is shout and swear like really loud 7 in the morning 7 30 whatever he doesn't even bother and they only come every two weeks so it's not like they're here every day and he's used to it the post postman she comes every not every day but she probably comes into the building every day

every every time barks he sounds like a duck when he barks he's every time but the refuge man nothing weird I don't I don't get it and so yeah they're very loud but he doesn't seem to be bothered by that maybe he just loves shouting there's no way I've known is that really so I'm trying to think of there were certain things that she used to do my first step-mom things that I remember are she was she was kind very kind very loving friendly she had a lot of friends a

lot of people used to enjoy talking to her she was yeah he's been piping up again I had to stop for a second things I don't want to put him into the bedroom although if I want to do put him in the bedroom it takes me no time at all to edit these videos really easy or video um the audios as well really really easy takes very little time but when he's here barking and making sounds and it just adds like an sometimes an hour to the to the editing for

what you know just so he can be in here with me and I want him to be in it all of this so my my arm my wrist um wow that hurts wonder why that's strange I might think I pulled the muscle I've noticed as I got older I tend to pull muscles a little bit more frequently than I used to like I hurt my back my upper back was for weeks it seems to have healed I've had enough of that thing now that's enough it hit I'm not quite sure

what I did because I was doing a lot of exercise I was doing push-ups every day probably four times a day and I think I got up to about 40 or 50 press-ups a time and I was doing weights and everything and my back lost its mind I was in so much pain in my upper back I had to stop all weights all exercise for the last probably two weeks if not longer and you know I was doing that because I was trying to lose weight although I think I might

put some weight on but I've lost I've lost fat I do believe and just because of diet changes I if nothing else and yeah I think my back is nearly healed now the upper back bit so I might try and get back to doing some weights or something again but just taking it really easy it's weird I mean there was a time when just no exercise could really I mean I pulled muscles and stuff when I was younger and I'd hurt myself you go I go to the gym if I

hadn't been for a few months and I'd feel sore the next day and a couple of days later I'd be fine but he started going into one then howling almost so I had to put him into the bedroom it just makes my job harder I'm not I say job but you know I mean makes the process a lot more difficult the thing is I want him to be here because it's so cute when he gets up and he shows himself and it's nice to have him around I like it you

know bloody barking does my nut so when I'm I suppose I'm supposed to be talking about my stepmum and I so I mean to describe she was lovely I'm just I don't know really she was the she was my mum I didn't think of her I remember someone said oh your stepmum she could they called her my stepmum this is when I was I don't know maybe 12 13 and I had a go at the person I said what are you talking about she's my mum I'm calling my stepmum I've

been the same person called my little brother my half brother don't ever call if you're out there and you don't ever call someone brother their half brother it's their brother someone's got a sister by a different mum or a different dad you know saying one of your parents it's your sister it's not a half anything it's like that's my half baby no it's your brother I mean yeah it's a half it's still your brother or your sister and so if some people say that it's like just maybe it's just like

to be factual maybe pedantic I don't know but yeah I didn't like that I mean my little brother is my little brother he's not half anything if anything he's double me and that makes no sense but you know he ain't half of nothing he's a complete a complete brother so I she was lovely so she had a baby when she when I was my little brother was born I'll talk about him as well on his birthday so I um so he was born on the day before I was born no

no he was born he was born the day before my eighth birthday literally so he what happened is we was in this house right now he's barking in the room winds me up I tell you so yeah it's the we were in this council house and we had this big step that led into the side of the house so there was like the back door the front door we went in back doors through the gate you know but there's this big step and I fell off the set it was a

really ridiculous setup what a stupid thing to have a big step leading they it wasn't or it wasn't well organized I mean to have the door it was honestly like that high or something like that really the the doorway from the ground it was very weird so and I remember I think my nan fell down there say they put a ramp in for my nan because she ended up living in that house as well and herself after after we moved out so yeah it was a not good design but I

fell off that step and I bashed my knee and it was probably scraped and I was I was crying probably screaming and uh my stepmom she was like oh no he's hurt himself oh and she comes out so she picks she's heavily pregnant at this point I want to say heavily I don't mean she was heavy she was but I mean I'm just saying she was pregnant full full scale as full as you can be she couldn't eat another thing I mean I'm saying she's full and she picked me up

off the floor and that kind of made a water burst honestly I hear me thinking it was raining no it didn't go on me but she she basically picked me up and then she ran into the kitchen and yeah and I walked in the fall why are you cleaning the kitchen floor for where's the mop you shouldn't be doing that at your at your stage of pregnancy mama and my dad my dad came in and said your mother I think I want her broke we got to take her to a

hospital the accent's getting worse Jason we have to go to hospital so they she went to the hospital so I had the baby this is in days when um I think you still do go to hospital it's kind of reversed back there was no there was a time when people had babies at home I think my second brother was born at home I was born in the hospital Edmonton Green Hospital I think it is and so my little brother so he was born in the hospital in the next town so

my dad took her to hospital they had a baby my nan and gran had came down from London and looked after us for the next three or four days or however long she was in hospital because at that time people would have babies and they would stay in hospital for a couple of days a few days sometimes not because they there's anything wrong with the baby it's just you know it's a nice thing to do what's the hurry now you you basically if you have the baby in the ambulance they

just turn around and drop you off at the nearest bus stop and so yeah you don't get to stay in hospital anymore with a baby unless there's something you know serious so back then everyone just stayed in hospital for a little while and just right he's shutting up now hopefully begin to wind me up he's just so loud just because you can hear someone downstairs like they're not even making any noise it's just a small sound like yeah yeah oh man so it's gonna take me ages to edit this blimmin

thing ridiculous so yeah so they were in hospital i remember it was my eighth birthday my nan and granddad were here looking after us i don't know if it was both of them might just be my nan and and she came and i remember it was my eighth birthday so i i had my birthday presents and all that stuff my little brother was born the day before i was yeah i got we got toys and stuff i got a golf golf set like a putting set golf solid still like proper

and i had blimey orange handles grip handles and there was like heavy balls there was wasn't no no cheap stuff it was like you know and these plastic container things which were for you know that you could put into the ball into and stuff so that was that was good and i don't remember what else i got but but you know my little brother was born so my little brother was born my nan was there and let's be fair the best present really best present of my birthday was the golf

clubs i mean that was definitely the best thing about that day a lot of fun so you know he came home he was a baby and everyone was like oh baby like excuse me i'm the baby no you're not a baby you're a big boy now jason this is the baby he's the new baby now you're just a you're just a big boy now no i'm still the baby i was a baby yesterday which means i'm still the baby how can i not be the baby just because like 36 hours

have gone past i didn't say that because i hadn't added it up no you're not the baby anymore my dad was like she'd sat me down now jason i got to tell you man to man you are no longer a baby you are the big boy your little brother is now the baby of the family now you must be good to him need this terrible accent you must be good to him that's better he's your brother he needs you this is turning into churchill he needs you your country needs you

so anyway he's uh he we really yeah he was a little brother he took over the role of being the baby i was a baby till then i was a baby for one year one year i was a baby i was a little kid i was babied for one year and then that was it at least i got one year to be a baby which is nice right here we go again uh just told him if he barks again i'm chucking him out the window now he's all over me unfortunately

you wouldn't fit would you try to get you out there but you wouldn't fit through you wouldn't fit through no you wouldn't no no no oh man this is the most he's barked in ages like really just non-stop um that was one of the good things about andre he didn't make any noise he used to like walk east i don't know he used to he'd make noise but he didn't bark because he wasn't a dog i guess that's a good reason not bark isn't it hey this has been a really

rubbish recording basically i just i'm trying to talk about my first step mom and yeah she was lovely she used to bake i baked with her and she was just kind smiley lovely um yeah i don't know what else to say i mean she's i think if she hadn't been in my life my life would have been a lot different i think i would have been a lot different as a person had she not been there had she not been in my life for you know the period of time that

she was and i guess maybe i didn't realize at the time i think really from the age of when she left for the last few decades i think it's been more like oh i'll focus more on the damage that did her going but in a way i've not focused on the 10 years when actually it may well have well i believe it probably worked well did have a very positive impact on me as a person i mean i was influenced by her i was affected emotionally by her about by the

way she was she was very nice very loving kind caring and i think that had an effect on me for that period of time and 10 years is a long time when you're a kid it's not a long time now but but although you know i knew my friend downstairs for less than 10 years and it's still you know he was still is uh losing him even though it's like november last year you know so it takes a while i guess to well i don't really think about her that often

but she you know i do still see my little brother who's his mom and yeah it's weird weird weird but you know this is all i want to do is talk be positive about about her and so yeah it's she was lovely she was great she really was she kind i used to talk to her for hours and maybe she taught me or i learned from her how to converse maybe how to yeah i've always been i don't know i've always generally got on better with women not relationship wise but

like as just to talk to just seem to find females easier to communicate with maybe i've got a chromosome maybe i've got one of those yx xy yy whatever chromosome things so maybe i am maybe i'm female i don't realize it or more female than male i don't know maybe i'm just intelligent i don't know but that part of my brain the it's really weird because i'm now i'm struggling to think of the word that part of the act that the the verbal part the talky chatty part of my brain

is very active not not to the point where i could talk all day long now i know some people that can talk literally they won't stop talking all the time so i'm not like that but i would say i'm a lot more chatty than most men that i've ever met which is part of the reason why it's a good idea that i do these recordings rather than talk to people because i don't always feel it feels a little bit so if i can do this and it bores people and you

fall asleep from boredom then that's that's a worthwhile thing it's useful it's you know it's a good thing however if i had a conversation with someone so he started barking yet again so i'm going to go because he's just annoying me he's going to keep barking so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love lots of love bye bye