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Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. It's 11.53. It is 11.53 a.m. a.m. in the morning on Wednesday the 4th of September. My name's Jason Newland.
This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So, my website is jasonnewland.com and you may think to yourself, hmm, why would I want to go to his website? I haven't got no idea. I actually, actually, I've been working on the website quite a lot the last few weeks, a couple of weeks, yeah, probably last month actually.
I don't know. I lose track but I have now uploaded so that you can download. You basically, I've got it so you can download, eventually you'll be able to download every single recording that I produced, regardless of what they are, whether it's to Let Me Bore You To Sleep, sleepy boring objects, Jason's bedtime story time, relaxing sleep hypnosis daily, deep sleep whisper hypnosis, relaxation, I lose track, anxiety and panic attack one.
So, yeah, there's quite a few of stop smoking and I think that's it. There might be more. So I've done quite a few, I've made them available and they're on the website, literally just the first page.
If you scroll down from where there's the list of the latest recordings, scroll down on the first page and then there's you basically click on whichever one you want and then it will come up and it will list all the recordings. You can click on whichever recording you want and a page will come up and it will just say this is, there are four different types of recording on this recording or whatever, download free, without music, music, five hours and ten hours.
It's, you can download it as a zip file, so all four recordings at the same time.
There's also a link where you can click on to find out if you don't know how to, how to download, how to open the zip file when you receive it, depending on if it's a laptop or a phone, a tablet, I don't know what other media there would be, other sort of, not media, tools. Yeah anyway, so I've now got one, I think it's about 1080 of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings.
Now the first thousand pretty much are just the recording without music because I lost a lot of recordings last year, but everything over a thousand, over the thousand mark, it's pretty, it's basically all four.
There's a few where there's like only three or there's a few where there's nothing because I've lost those recordings altogether, but generally all the new recordings or the most updated ones will be all four recordings, although I also am now, I want to tell you this stuff, but I want to also, I don't want to get too bogged down with this in case you fall asleep listening, because I have some messages to read out and some thank yous to say.
So also really, really important stuff, well not important, but I do have a Facebook group, it's a private Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group. It's only, it's very specifically for those of you who listen to my recordings or watch my videos, whatever, those people that really like what I do.
It's not, it's not just there for anyone to join for the sake of it, it's really just to have a small community. There's 182 or 183 people and it's, it's just there for people that regularly listen, regular listeners of my recordings. And as it's a private group you can join and you'll be accepted, I mean even if you don't listen to the recordings, but there'd be no point and you wouldn't hear this message anyway, would you, if you're not listening.
Hmm, but it's a good place you get to, you can get to meet other people that are also regular listeners and I don't know, really, just I'm trying to, it's probably no benefit to join in, but there might be. I'm not really selling it am I? Anyway, the reason I mentioned the, that group is because I just got, I just had such a lovely message, in fact I got a couple of lovely messages, but there's, where is it?
Right, well first of all actually I'm going to go back to my group. So I want to say thank you to Mike for your part, your kind PayPal gift.
This was a couple of days ago but I, I've not made any recordings since Friday, it's now Wednesday. So I want to say thank you and it really helped actually because it enabled me yesterday to get some groceries, because I'm not sure if I mentioned it in my podcast, but the groceries I got last week, the toilet roll was missing. Someone nicked the toilet roll, they stole my toilet roll off my doorstep.
So it was a big pack. So I literally was running out, I had, I had none left. The local, the petrol station didn't have none.
They had kitchen roll, but I just find that's a little bit too rough on my bum. So, more information than you needed probably. So thanks Mike, you've, I don't know how this suddenly sounds word, you've been, you've helped me to clean my, just thank you.
I probably won't say any more because it's, you've helped me to be kind to my bum. But gentle, gentle toilet roll rather than, because I don't, I like to, do we need, I don't need to talk about toilet roll do I? I'll move on. Right.
Oh also if you do join the Jason Newland's Boring Group, I do post videos on there and messages and comments and stuff that I don't post anywhere else. So it's a little videos and pictures of Vinnie and stuff like that. Also I want to say a big thank you to Kathleen for the kind gift.
Now Kathleen asked me Mike for my dress a couple of weeks ago I think it was. She wanted to send me something. So I said oh okay cool.
More lingerie. So, so Kathleen's from Australia and she sent me a gift and it was like had to write down what was inside and everything. I 26 dollars and 80 cents postage.
That's a lot of postage. That's, I just, just noticed that. Wow.
That's a lot of money. I mean I know Australian dollars about, I think you get two pound per dollar. Sorry, but it's still half of 26.
13 pound 40 for postage. That's a lot. I just think that's a lot of money.
Thank you. Basically what Kathleen sent me is a handmade like jumper for Vinnie. I need to get a little picture of him wearing it but he won't let me near him.
He's, he's very temperamental this one but it's black and it's cute and it's proper wool. I took him out in it the other day. He was not happy.
I think we should have got a pink one with big yellow dots and I want to get him one now. I want to get one for the winter, like for rain. So I get like a rain mack for him with a little hood and then at Christmas I want to get him some antlers.
I don't know. I just, I just have the urge to go all out with him now. So if anybody wants to send stuff for me to dress Vinnie up to embarrass him I guess, you know, like a little dress, a little Cinderella dress or something like that.
I think it'd be brilliant and you could have a little wand. Wow, have him dressed as a reindeer. It'd be great.
Halloween, get a Halloween costume because we've got Halloween coming up soon. I don't know why I had to say the word Halloween four times within two sentences but Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. So thank you Kathleen.
That's very, very lovely, very thoughtful and I probably loved it a little bit more than Vinnie because he's, I don't know, it was just weird. He's not used to it, that's all. But I think he'll appreciate it when it's cold because it's still quite warm at the moment here.
But guaranteed when it's icy outside I think you'll definitely appreciate having that jumper on. In fact he'll probably ask me to put it on. Him, that is.
I mean I said like, do you want to wear that? He said you wear it. It's so lovely, you wear it. And he's rude but he doesn't realise, he obviously doesn't need it now because it's hot.
I mean yesterday I went out in the morning and about half eight, eight quarter past eight, half eight, raining. It wasn't warm, it was raining. I had my raincoat on, my glasses were getting all wet.
I was getting wet but not wet enough to, not wet enough to really moan too much about it. Not wet enough to come home and write a poem about it but it's very much, okay fair enough, it's September. I don't mind.
The weather doesn't bother me really. I mean it gives me something to moan about and talk about and that's what being English is all about. Moaning about the weather or talking about the weather.
You're quite lucky this, that's not all I talk about because that very likely could be if I didn't have such a exciting life. I can't even say that without laughing. So another thing is I'm doing another question and answer Q&A Friday, it's coming Friday.
So if you have any more, any questions. Nicole has just asked put two, that's good. So thank you.
If you've got any questions for Friday please go to Jason Newland's Boring Group and please post your questions. I mean I can't believe really that it's been done 22 recordings of the Q&A Friday. It was only a one-off just for a laugh.
What I'm thinking of doing is, because you may be wondering like oh why where have I been? Because you know I went from doing recording every day to not doing any at all for a while. Probably the back end of last year due to stuff that happened and then I kind of got back into it and then I kind of slowed down a bit and it's nothing going on necessarily.
I have a bit of a bad stomach but other than that I'm okay.
But I've been, I sound, I really sound common today. I really are, I've been alright, I've just been doing this stuff innit. I feel like I'm talking like that.
I need to, I've forgotten to put on my posh accent. This is how I normally sound isn't it. Yes.
Oh dear. So hmm yeah I think it's, there's two things I've been doing. Although, I don't know, I think turning 54 was a little bit of a shock to the system a little bit last week because it's literally one week and two days since I turned 54 and it was an up-and-down emotional situation.
I'm not quite sure how to explain it but it was just, yeah, I just hmm yeah I don't, I'm kind of not sure how I feel about it because I'm getting older. We're all getting older, it's just normal and I don't, I don't want to be negative about it. If anything I'm in a much better place than I've been, than I was when I was in my 20s.
When I was physically healthy and young and virile and had all my hair instead of half a lot of people's hair. You know so and I was slim although I didn't like being slim. That's the ironic thing about it isn't it? I don't know if irony is the right word but I was so self-conscious about my body more than I am now and now I'm just fat but back then, all chunky, I'm chunky now, I'm chunky.
Back then I was really, really, to me I was skinny. Didn't like being skinny but I think to other people I would have just been slim. They probably, you know, I remember I had a massage because I've had this ongoing back issue which now, I didn't know it was arthritis but it took a long time to get to the point where it was, it was kind of bad in my lower back and it really kind of kicked in around the late 90s.
I noticed it probably about 97, 98. Doing physical work was, I noticed a little bit more in my lower back like oh that's hurting a bit. If I sat on the floor, things like that.
So I was stretching and you know trying to kind of stretch it out really. Almost like trying to un-knot my back and there was a reason why I started telling you this. So I went for a massage and there's a whole story for this one but not, not, not in a way that you might think.
Nothing weird or rude but just I had this massage and I said, she said well can you take the towel off? I had, the towel was over, I might have had me underpants on or the towel was over my midsection but there was another towel over my body and I was so embarrassed and I was saying oh just, so from my back, when I was lying on my back, I didn't mind so much but lying down on my back, on my back and to see my tummy, it was so slim.
I felt and she said no, yeah you're slim but you're not skinny and I just started, I couldn't, it's almost like I had a very, very mild form of body dysmorphia. Very, very, very, probably shouldn't call it that but you know I wasn't really seeing myself the way other people were seeing me but then do any of us? I mean I don't see myself as this sex God but I know lots of people do.
That's why I don't wear shorts because I don't want to, I don't want to like cause traffic jams because my sex, my sex is so leggy, my leg is so sexy, that's what I suppose I meant to say. Yeah, oh there's a whole news, there's a whole story about that, having that massage but I'll tell you another time, just about the place I went to. It was a naturist place.
I didn't know what, I didn't know anything about naturism. I thought naturism was lions and forests and green grass and butterflies. I thought that's what naturism was.
You know if you're a naturist, me too, I love caterpillars. It, yeah, it's not quite what people mean or I didn't know that though. This was as I said late 90s and anyway so I'll talk about that another time.
I know you want to hear about it now don't you? Tell us about the naturist club you went to by accident and you were looking around in your dressing gown waiting for a massage and you're wondering why everyone was completely naked. Yeah, it was very strange but it wasn't compulsory. So even though you could, you know, it's a naturist health spa basically that's what it was and they had a jacuzzi, they had a sauna.
They might have even have, no they didn't have a waiting room but they had, it was health you know. So oh yeah and ice. I think they might have had a big swimming pool.
I know, probably not. Yeah but it was nice. It was really, really, really nice place.
I didn't really know what was in it. Above it was a pool table, a pool club I think or a snooker club. So yeah I mean I'm trying to think what the relevance of this was.
So basically yeah I have questions. Q&A Friday. Why, how did I get, how? I'm talking about my back but why am I talking about my back? I don't know.
I genuinely cannot, what was I looking at? Q&A Friday. So yeah, if you've got any questions just join the Q&A Friday and Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook and you can ask me a question. If you're not on Facebook at all, which some people aren't, I know people that aren't on Facebook.
So and you want to get a question to me, you can send me a question. I am also on, I'm on Twitter as well. I'm also on TikTok and Instagram and you can send me, you can go to my website jasonnewland.com and send me a message on there if you want to.
So there's quite a few different ways you can send me a message but the easiest way would be probably just to go to, just join the Facebook group if you're a regular listener. Vinnie's chomping away on his bone. Right, so I need to, oh, let me have a look.
So I've got a message here I want to read out on Facebook. Facebook, where are you? My Facebook. Oh right, it's the app isn't it.
So the newest member is to the Jason Newland's Boring Group is Nicole. So thank you for joining. I'm going to read you out the message because, not all of it, just read you out some of it because it's such lovely words.
This is what Nicole wrote. Because we posted, or Molly posted, let's welcome a new member and I've been listening to Let Me Bore You To Sleep for over six years now and have been able to depend on your podcast to get me through some very hard times. My son also, now there's personal stuff but I won't read that out because you need to become a member if you wanted to see that stuff.
My son also loves your podcast and it helps him to fall asleep too. I personally love the 10-hour versions of Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Keeps me awake, keeps me awake all night.
No, keeps me asleep, keeps me asleep all night and when I wake up in the morning I always give myself a little extra time to listen to the let go, relax completely, be kind to yourself. So that's part of the the 10-hour bit is there's winding down, there's counting down, there's positive suggestions, affirmations and things like that. Which I don't normally talk about but it's in each recording five hour and ten hour ones.
So yeah it's become a sort of a meditation for me to relax and begin my day on a positive note. Thanks for all the all of your hard work Jason Newland, hypnotist. Even though I'm okay so I won't read the rest of that but thank you very much Nicole.
I did read the whole of it I just not gonna read that out to the general public unless they're actually in the group because that's kind of the point of the group to have you know a degree of privacy. Although I do talk about myself you know generally. So the two things I've been doing, the two things I've been doing is working on a website and also I think I might have mentioned this I don't know I've been working on the I've got Spreaker again.
Well I've had Spreaker I've never I never give up gave Spreaker up but I've rejoined it like paid for subscription and I've been working on the podcasts and started separating the podcasts up again like they used to be. So I've still got the main podcast and I've still got the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast which are on SoundCloud but the other podcasts which are the Deep Sleep Whisperer Hypnosis all the ones that I mentioned at the beginning you know the Relaxing Sleep Hypnosis Daily, Jason's Bedtime Story Time, Sleepy Boring Objects, Stop Smoking Hypnosis, Hypnosis for Anxiety and Panic Attacks.
I'm trying to think it sounds like all of them to me there might be more.
The Let Me Bore You To Sleep as I said is still on SoundCloud.
Now on Spreaker I am not allowed to post music so what I've done is created five and ten hour versions and it's different different I don't know what you want to call it so the first recording you know you have to say the recording lasts half an hour or an hour and then the next five hours will be the same kind the same kind of thing as what I do with the music and but I think some of those are different recordings different stuff so there's counting down, there's affirmations, there's body scan and stuff like that but it's all without music so that's what I've done I've been creating versions of the podcasts without music and uploading them to the Spreaker podcast.
Now I think I'm about 66 on the Deep Sleep Whisperer Hypnosis so there's a lot to do huge amounts to do but I'm getting it's pretty it's pretty good getting nearly yeah I've only really had it all like been going for last few days so I've got it's working its way up to about a thousand plays a day or downloads a day with different podcasts and still got the other podcast as well so yeah so I'm gonna continue with that that's gonna take me probably till the end of the year
and also I'm still uploading the archives of Let Me Bore You To Sleep onto YouTube so I've now got 200 recordings on YouTube of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep it's I've got I think I've got nearly 2,000 recordings all together like videos on there, blimey.
So I'm trying to upload 10 a day so instead of like putting too much up so 10 so tomorrow I'll do 201 to 210 but I also upload video version of the new podcasts like this one will be uploaded so yeah there is and they're all without music on YouTube again as well because of copyright issues even though the music I use is copyright free and they're only like the length the full length there's no five or ten hour versions on YouTube although I may look at doing that in the
future once I've uploaded everything I might go and start making five and ten hour ones without music so there'll be a lot to choose from on my YouTube channel it just seems like a nice option for people to have you know because I accidentally did that on I shared a podcast onto YouTube where it just downloaded the pod or uploaded the podcast from that podcast the podcast episodes and I didn't realize it uploaded the ones with five hours ten hours and I suddenly saw this massive surge in video views like
you know over a thousand video views in it in a day like what and I realized that people listening to the ten hour ones and the five hour ones but they those ones had music in the background so I had to delete those before I got some kind of copyright strike but people listening to them or watching the videos so the only problem is with YouTube even if they allowed it it might stop me from ever being able to monetize the YouTube channel in the future I can't I can't monetize
it anyway because I haven't got enough hours I haven't got enough you know I haven't got enough hours and plus I wouldn't monetize it now anyway even if I could so I've got enough subscribers I've got 1376 I think you only need a thousand subscribers in order to you know I think a thousand subscribers and 4,000 watch hours and I've got 3,640 watch hours something like that in the last year blimey I think that's everything I've covered everything that I needed to cover that's just the introduction man what's going on
man yeah so hmm what's that I don't know what it is just looking at my phone so yeah Riri if you're listening thank you for your for adding me on tik-tok or for following me on tik-tok so I'm not really a to be fair I'm not really a big tick tick tick tocker tick tocker tick tocker is that what it's called because if I'm honest I don't know how it all works I kept away from tik-tok purposefully and what really because I thought it was for I thought it was for
like really really really young people and I didn't want to infringe upon their space like Facebook was for really young people wasn't it to start with well young young adults or whatever and then it kind of got took over by older people mind you those young people back then will now be middle-aged anyway but tik-tok it seemed to be focused at children but now I see adverts on TV and they're trying to promote buying stuff on there and this is a lot of adults on there now so I posted some
a couple of singing videos but what I might do is look into it and start posting some maybe some videos you know some of the stuff that I the podcasts that I do maybe try and promote because I don't have really an age group when it comes to these podcasts these let me boys asleep I listen to by people of all ages or cultures or nationalities all sexes it's like this I don't really seem to have a particular category I don't know if that's the right word it's just people who
like what I do listen those that don't don't it's just it's really that simple I think I don't because I'm not I suppose you know if I was talking about boxing all the time which some people might think I do but if you know then I'd get a boxing audience or if I was talking which I try I will try not to but does remind me what I want to talk about today the Open University I got my first book through well in fact the only book I think I've got
the book through for the my module which is lasts the year and I think this is one book for the year smells lovely that smell I'll tell you what if the world does go the way it's going it's gonna I'm gonna miss you know I'm talking about like maybe being digital and books maybe not being around anymore I'm gonna miss that smell because even I mean old books don't have that they have a different kind of smell I guess but a fresh book that hasn't really been opened and the air
hasn't got to the pages it's a certain smell I can't really and it might just be ink but I think it's more than that it's the smell of the smell of opportunity the smell of knowledge I don't know it just smells nice so I've got that through two days ago I think or was it no Monday I think yeah which was two days ago so got it through on Monday and it was on my doorstep so I'm glad that I opened the door and it's still there I didn't even think
like what it was like I thought what is this why you know I don't know what it is it was a flat parcel so something flats inside I hadn't ordered a book I haven't ordered a book for years since the last time I ordered a book from Amazon so I've got no idea well I haven't ordered anything and then I saw on the outside of it was OU the Open University and I thought it's my book it's my book my course book and it was oh it really was and it's
making a little bit realer now a little bit realer a little bit more this is really gonna happen I am definitely all things all things going well I will be starting my second degree course in about a month's time beginning of October and it's the first module it's the first year and then I'll have five more years after that and I will be I will have undergraduate degree in psychology and my my aim apart from to still be alive when I'm 60 still be around doing these weird podcasts imagine what
it'll be like in six years because I've already done six years haven't I yeah I've already been doing it for six years so imagine if well six and a half now I guess so imagine another six years it might be completely different I might sound completely different I might be hi everybody it's Jason again who knows that might be how I'll talk then I might have a French accent for some reason you don't know dear it could it could happen so I've been thinking about it though because one one of
my main aims other than because I'm doing the degree for fun it really is not a career move for me there is no career I have no career and the closest thing to a career I had I suppose when I was in insurance I was doing quite well as a salesperson but you know I didn't move up the ladder although I potentially might have been able to had I not got ill so that was kind of I mean that that's the the main job I did for quite a long time
yeah that was my main job for about six years seven years six seven years eight I don't know until 2013 that's the last job I had but I guess really from a career perspective or career minded I would say probably the counseling when I when I finished the my college degree I was sitting out to have a career as a counselor that was the aim that was the aim of starting the course I didn't do it for fun I did it it was multiple reasons I guess why I did it
you know self-discovery to prove myself wrong to prove that I could do it because I didn't believe I could and probably to prove other people that I could do it most of all me I guess to not have to work for three years I quite like the idea that in the sense of it took the pressure off because I'd been unwell but not have to be unemployed you know so I could be I could be at university for three years not have to answer to anyone not have to look for
a job anything like that I had a little part-time job but ultimately I could just spend my time being a student which I did kind of well I was student but I didn't didn't really live the student lifestyle because I was old even then well at least I felt old I wasn't old but I wasn't 18 I was 37 when I started my degree course and I never went to any student bar I never went to any student events it was it was poor showing really it was I think I've
enjoyed myself more if I'd have done it in my 20s or early 20s I'd have had a blast but then I don't know well first of all I don't know well I wouldn't have got on a course to start with because I left school with no qualifications and secondly although I did apply to do it I did apply I wanted to do a psychology degree when I was living in London back in probably 95 95 maybe 97 I lose track of times I don't remember everything I really don't but it
was about 95 time and I applied maybe it was 97 but I applied to do a degree at East London University and they said or was it East Ham University it was East London now I wasn't allowed to do a degree course because I had no qualifications but I was accepted on to an access course which lasted for I think a year or maybe two years and at the end of that I'd then be accepted provided my past you know did everything I was supposed to do I'd be accepted on
to a degree course and I didn't continue I'm not sure why I'm not sure why but I attempted I started the access course twice two different times maybe that's why maybe 97 and 95 or 93 even I don't know but I didn't continue I also started the Open University degree course back in the late 90s and it was free back then free it's now three grand a year so it you know it's it was absolutely free I started the module and I just quit I quit because I couldn't just couldn't
not I couldn't do it but I just just the pressure or whatever just couldn't didn't want to do it or change my mind or wasn't didn't believe I could do it probably more like and then I applied a couple of times one was after I finished my university I applied to do Open University course degree course this time I paid but it was really it wasn't a lot of money you know it was a lot less when it is now probably maybe a thousand pound a year something like that and
I did a direct debit and I got ill because of where I was working this is before I'd been diagnosed with bipolar so I didn't know I knew I was moody I knew that everyone knew I was moody but I just didn't didn't I just didn't think it was anything other than just being moody but anyway I so I cancelled that and they allowed me to cancel it and then I so I've done that I did that about two times cancelled the payments after getting starting the course and then I
applied to do the course a few years back and it was the about two thousand or nine no two thousand and nineteen if you know what happened in 2020 so I'm quite I'm quite happy I didn't do that in the end because it would have been it was a you know it's quite a difficult period for a people so and so yeah I've applied I literally to get to doing this degree so I started and stopped two access courses in order for me to do the psychology degree but now I've
got a degree I don't need to do that to do it I can do the second degree Open University I've started one two three times and then applied another two times so I've started and stopped three times and this is the final time but but this this time I get financing so it was difficult even a thousand pound a year was a bit too much to pay out because I was working I didn't I wasn't earning much money I was doing the counseling part-time and I was working part-time on a
the reception of this charity and by rent was really a lot 125 pound a week for this room so it was a I just couldn't really afford it it was everything was getting a bit everything kind of happened all at the same time so I pulled out of that but now I think back then I was thinking of it is like a career a career move and the pressure of that was maybe well I had a lot going on now it's just for fun you know I'm 54 now I'll be
60 when the degree is finished and then seven years later I'll be retired it's that is just I mean by the way if there's any ladies out there that they're interested in having a relationship with me get get in contact because I don't know how much longer I've got hurry up blimey retired at 67 it was 65 when I left school in fact there was a time I think when it was 60 for men and 55 for women then it moved up for 55 for women no it didn't work to
60 for women and 65 for men so I think when my granddad retired which was about the same time I was born he retired yeah he because I was born 1970 he retired in he retired in 1970 because or maybe he retired 1971 yeah because he turned 80 and 19 1991 so yes he retired in 1971 because when we my yeah my granddad helped my dad out with his pension with my dad's granddad's pension money he helped my dad out my nan said and he paid it back but he helped
him out so he just retired my granddad at 60 so back then 60 was a retirement age now it's 67 so imagine what's gonna be in 200 years time 72 73 80 but then in 200 years time we might all live to be a thousand just replace the body parts that need replacing Wow I want that now I really that's one of my little hopes that the longevity or the long the long life that's gonna happen with a new technology I'm hoping that that happens in time for me to benefit
from it so that if there comes a time when I need a noose whatever is a noose a new whatever is then I'll just I'll just go and get it and I'll be fine and that'll be like a I guess a financial expense expense you know to do it but other than that that perhaps would be the only barrier I'd even consider being in it an experimental piggy if they wanted you know if I was in a position so I don't know if they suddenly they said well we can make
you taller but you know there's a 99% certainty that it's going to be fine 1% chance that it won't be so good and you end up with a limp but we have to we need to test it on humans because giraffes it's just not not fair on them to have to test it on giraffes they don't do very well with limps I don't know where I'm going with this but I I'd go for it like yeah if it make I don't want to be super tall I don't want to be
like nine foot tall because that's too tall mind you if I was 9 foot tall I'd be the right weight so that would be good but I'd still be fat probably yeah I think probably I always like the idea of being around sort of 6'6 which is a lot taller than me I'm 5'8 so 6'6 would be Wow just to be able to look down on people just to better look at the tops of people's heads and then you know I can only do that with kids anyone over the age
of about 10 and they're usually taller than me or as tall as me you know I'm not I'm not a tall tall person I'm not like mini not tiny but I'm not not very tall and I don't want to look down on people you know heads necessarily but it must be nice to be super tall maybe apart I don't know I've never been I mean I was tall once you're tall depending on who's around you aren't you when I was on the Wizard of Oz set back in 1949 or whatever
I remember yeah I was I felt quite tall there now and then I mean even Dorothy was short I know she was taller than me but most the other people the tin man was taller I didn't like that he had high heel boots on he did and the straw man it was just that hat take the hat off he was about five inches shorter and you know what take the ears off of the the cowardly lion without the ears and the mane a lot shorter you know it's always there always
like got his little tricks to make themselves taller I haven't got anything other than a Mohican if I did a Mohican I used to have spiky hair I think part of that was so that I could be taller it didn't work so the thing is you could join a circus and that's what I used to think join a circus and I'll be the tallest one there but it depends because the circus has lots of different people don't they you know I'm thinking about the old-fashioned circuses that had very small people
and a very very large people and bearded octopuses or whatever so yeah I oh yeah I've got my book for anyway the book for the Open University is called an introduction to childhood and youth studies and psychology edited by Victoria Cooper and Mimi Tatlow Gelden so this although to be fair this is the light on I can't really see the writing very well we've always got a few that from that um ours oh right something I need to do before this starts really if I can I need to get myself
I need to get my eyes tested because my eyesight has deteriorated unfortunately and so I need to get my eyes tested get some new glasses but this time I'm gonna get separate glasses for reading I'm not I can't be wearing like bivocals or bifocals or whatever they're called because it's just the little bit for readings too small I literally it's right at the bottom and I've got like you know it makes the ground further away and it makes you feel taller but other than that but it's an optical lie so
I need to get some and it doesn't matter what they look like it doesn't matter what the frames are I can get the cheapest rubbish rubbishiest frames for reading because I don't I'll only be reading indoors so it doesn't matter what they look like but as far as my out going out glasses or my day-to-day glasses I'm gonna need to get some decent frames these ones are pretty much worn out now but I do need actor light because my eyes are affected by the light so these go dark it likes
like sunglasses they're not really sunglasses but they do go dark and it's I'm also gonna try and see if I can get some glasses for screen separate glasses for looking at computer as well I do spend quite a lot of time looking at computer screen and you know the the not a dentist the optician said to me that I might have the beginnings of macro degeneration which is hereditary in my family so my nan went blind with it and my dad's got it as well he's I'm not sure how his
vision is but his eyes get bad you know like really dry or stuff like that he has to have eye drops and stuff so I'm not sure how his vision is and he never used to wear glasses bearing in mind my nans wore glasses she didn't used to wear glasses but she's worn them all the time that I've known her or that I knew her but she didn't wear them in the early days so when she was in her 20s or 30s probably she didn't wear glasses I've only known her
since she was she's probably okay let's work it out she was about 90 she 95 when she left and that was two thousand and let's say 94 just for the sake of the year she left in 2014 and so 90 years so 2014 50 so what I need to go back 90 years okay 90 2014 would be no 2000 2014 1934 24 1924 and she was 17 in 1939 I know that much because she married my granddad so let's say she was born in 1924 34 35 36 37 38 39
yes so she was she was 96 so let's say she was born in 1932 42 52 62 70 she was 38 when I was born does that make sense that yeah cuz my dad no no surely not 32 42 52 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 so it's 38 that doesn't make sense which means she would have been 20 see my dad was 26 when I was born this math this isn't working out for me he was 26 when I was born so she was 38 26 26
she was born in 24 34 44 54 he was born in 1945 or 1946 he was born in 46 46 yeah he was born in 1946 she's born in 24 so she was 22 when he was born 22 18 1920 21 22 yeah so basically just after the war maybe she was 16 when she married my granddad then she was 22 when she had him and then I know obviously the months could be different as well 22 26 so she was 26 when he was born add another 26 because he
was 26 when I was born so it's more than 26 40 26 46 52 she was 52 when I was born yeah okay fair enough she was 52 so yeah she was wearing glasses the only reason I'm trying to work this out is my dad's 78 now he'll be 79 next year so so yeah she was 96 something like that I lose track but yes so she she wore glasses she didn't wear them when she was my age I mean I started wearing glasses when I was at school to start
with I had a lazy eye is it called a stigma or whatever it's called and I had to wear a patch and I had to do these exercises with a pencil and follow the things my problem is I used to use the wrong eye I used the wrong pencil and the so I was wearing glass I remember that was weird going to school with glasses on and everyone laughing at me brilliant yeah it definitely was a stigma and after a while I decided not to wear them anymore and I just
ignored it ignored the fact that I needed to wear glasses and then in about 1989 so this is 85 1989 I went to yeah I had my eyes tested for the first time as an adult on my own and they gave me glasses for reading didn't need them for anything else just reading so I remember getting them and being able to read properly for the first time in ages like being able to see the see the the words without struggling because I guess I didn't know I was struggling I was
just so used to it that this was really it was nice and then I went through a period of time when I was wearing glasses at work because I was getting eye strain so I found that when I wore the glasses I didn't get so much eye strain but then I still you know as time went by I was getting glasses for reading and throughout the you know right the way up to about 2013 2012 perhaps and so I was still wearing glasses for reading I used to wear them during
my counseling sessions because I found I maybe I was using it as a barrier you know like self-protection emotional barrier or something but I found that I could I was getting eye strain because they were the other side of the room not eye strain they were just yeah I felt better wearing them and I started wearing them looking at computers when I was working and I went to the the opticians it might be in 2013 and I was told that I needed to wear glasses all the time you know apart
from when I'm in bed what about bath well no not bath either what about shower not not shower either what about when I'm swimming not even when you're swimming what about when I'm in space no what it's like just go leave so I left but I've got the glasses I've been wearing glasses full-time it's no longer a hobby it's now a full-time job since 2013 so I was 42 so for the first from 15 to 42 actually 19 to 42 really I was wearing regularly wearing glasses for reading and in
42 so last 12 years I've been wearing glasses all the time and each time I get checked or get you know my eyesight has unfortunately deteriorated and I can tell because I test my eyesight quite a lot and I'm amazed if someone's more than six foot away from me without my glasses I can see them I can see who they are or it's six foot maybe ten ten foot eight foot I don't know but I can't see they're not clear they're fuzzy I mean I'm trying to think of something to
give you an idea okay so I've got the I'm trying to I'm trying to I've got night okay right on the wall I've got bills and stuff that I've written down so I can see it it's big quite big writing you know first at a month TV license council tax or stuff like that so I can see what it says and with my glasses without my glasses it's bills for a month there's TV license there's a council tax I can't see it I just remember it it's literally if I walked
in there without my glasses on and I sat down you say what does it say there I wouldn't know I can make out the word bills again it's just fuzzy but the bits where it says TV license and council tax complete blur so yeah it is I mean I've got a big TV now and I need a big TV it's not even a luxury it was a luxury when I bought it a few years ago because you know I got it paid for it monthly for however long it took and
it was the first thing I'd really got myself you know the bet it's probably the only thing I've really spent that I've got that I've liked so I don't really spend money on clothes or anything like that and most of the money I've ever had is gone on to helping to provide this free service over the years over the last 19 years or whatever you know equipment and stuff but I tell you what I need a big TV I couldn't see the little TV anymore and the little TV wasn't little
it wasn't like tiny but if there was any sub excuse me if there was any subtitles could not see anything and I noticed how I went from being able to see the subtitles to struggling to see the subtitles to it just being a blur I thought it was something wrong with the telly not my eyes I just it's a telly and then I started looking at the trees and the trees are something wrong with trees they're not as clear as they used to be I can't see number plates I tell
you how bad it is not bad but because to me it's not a big deal it's just it is what it is you know I'm perfect in so many other ways it's just eyesight I mean it's precious don't get me wrong up I know it's precious and I hope to keep on to on it you know keep it with me as long as I can and hopefully you know forever but at the end of it it's like well some things just have to accept so my eyesight isn't this it's not
like I was born having to wear glasses some people have glasses from like as soon as they're born and so at least other you know I've experienced time without glasses so I know what it's like for both and I don't mind either if that I think glass is probably I don't know I'm comfortable in glasses I'm fine for me it's my the way my brain thinks my glasses are my Clark Kent look you know it's like Clark Kent wore glass if Superman can wears glasses I can wear glasses that's how
I see things if he can wear tights in public with his underpants on the outside so can I and I realized you know what I noticed though is when I knew my eyesight was really deteriorating this is before I got these glasses is I thought I went out one day without my glasses that's it I left my glasses at home I don't know how it happened but I just did or I brought the wrong ones out I bought the ones with the reading ones or whatever that's when I had both
at that time and I was waiting for a bus but it was multiple buses come past the bus stop so I had to obviously see which bus was going my way I could not see the number of the bus and the numbers on buses are big you know the in the front of the bus it's big buses aren't little are they I could see the bus I could not see the number until it was literally stopped so I had to stop every bus and what I did even I could see
it was a wrong number I asked anyway how do you go to town and they say no go away so I said I'm sorry because otherwise I stopped them for no reason so I had to stop about three buses until the right bus stopped that's when I realized in fact coming back I had to ask someone that's really elderly lady with glasses on I had to ask her if it's the right bus what number it was she looked at me like it was I think like I was weird but I
just couldn't see I couldn't see the number it's never really experienced that before so I don't know what it is but if it is the old I mean it's alright with glasses I mean I don't care if I have to have really I don't think the thick ones really exist anymore I think they've got the lenses are quite good now so they can be strong I don't think I've got a super strong glasses but I've noticed recently that if I spend too much time looking at the computer screen that I
do get a side effect from that either in my eyes or in my head so I'm gonna need to do something about that I think you can get screen covers that help with that and I will look at getting some glasses that will help with that as well because I need to start looking after my eyes a bit better yeah so that's it really I've not really talked about anything today have I even though I have been talking for about 17 hours you want to hear about the naturist club okay
it's not rude nothing rude here so I'm not gonna explain what a naturist if you I'm gonna assume you know what it is so I don't I'm not actually gonna specifically say what it was what it is okay so I walk into this place and it's just you know always a little bit like oh because said massage there's a sign massage outside and I wanted to make sure it was genuine because you know otherwise I might not have enough money on me no I wanted to make sure I want to
make sure it's a genuine place because I was going there for a genuine reason because of my back and I thought that it might it might be useful might like help to loosen my back up a bit so I thought yeah and so I go in there and they said oh you can come back you know you can come back any day I think they were they were they weren't open to the public or something at the moment they said come back tomorrow and whatever you can book you an appointment
with a hypnotist there with a masseur so okay cool and so I went back but they had a bar and everything okay didn't know health spas had bars so I go back and a lady says well I'll show you around the facilities so okay so I go and get on if you want to get your swimming costume on whatever because I will show you the jacuzzi and whatever so I said okay so I was again I had to well you get a dressing gown there if you can cover up don't
worry and I said I well I wasn't worried but thanks now now I am it's what I get dressed or get undressed put my dressing gown on they had a locker put all my stuff in my locker come out and the lady was talking to me she said are you ready I said yeah so I said if you just go in if you go it's a jacuzzi if you want to get in I'll come in I'll join you and I'll talk tell you about everything so I did that so I
get in there she cut the minutes later I see us step into the jacuzzi and she has bikini bottoms on that's it and it was very I don't use a word hard difficult it's very very strange because you know I was I mean back then I was what 27 so I was you know I was I still had hormones at that point and it was I was like I was confused but it was a genuine place it was why what I struggled to talk to be honest with you and the
hardest part she was telling me about the jacuzzi it gets cleaned regularly there's a shower there's a sauna and they have special events and she said it you don't if you realized all those naked men it's a yeah a naturist club I said okay she said we have parties here we have weekends and Sundays it's like we have bar not barbecue like buffets which is our ironic buff in the buff buffets that's what we call being naked in this country if you're in the buff so I had buffets on a
Sunday sandwiches and turkey sandwiches and stuff every day is Christmas and they and and the hardest part again I don't really want to use that word but was when she stood up and said shall show you this show you the sauna and I said well right now she's she said yeah so she's standing there looking at me and I'm in the jacuzzi she said I'll show you the sauna there's no one in at the moment so I can show you in there because you know I don't there's more than one
sauna but it didn't like to disturb people that are in there and non-members days because I wasn't like an official member at this point and I said I didn't mean no harm I said I'm alright here I'm okay here actually she said would you know what you want to stay in here for a little bit longer I said yeah it's gonna take a while I mean she said what I said well I'm gonna need a little bit longer you're gonna need a little bit longer I mean it's it's so relaxing
ooh relaxing I wish all of me was relaxed and she said oh okay in the end I managed to I mean it's a trick way to do is whenever I wanted to undo what was happening I just used to think of my girlfriend a joke a joke didn't have a girlfriend and so so I so she showed me the the what's it I couldn't get past the fact of well just I couldn't get past what was happening you know she showed me the sauna I don't remember anything about that and
then I went and had my I went and waited for a massage I couldn't believe I they were all behind the counter they weren't like that when I came in the first time and it was it was when I came back out of this out of you know the jacuzzi in the sauna there was a two men just sitting on a lounger and sharing what perhaps they shouldn't share letting everyone see what nobody ever wanted to see perhaps and that was yeah that was like huh what's going on here and
I'll be honest though when I when I saw when I saw some of them in there I thought I was worried it's gonna drop off I was a little bit disturbed but I had me I've been massaged I waited for massage the massage was completely professional I mean professional as in they were dressed completely fully dressed like a master is and I did study massage for a while so I kind of know a little bit about that and it was such it was almost like going into a different world going
upstairs to normality keep myself covered having a massage and then come back downstairs to I don't know what to call it I was just I'm not approved I just I just hadn't I haven't seen a lot I just just yeah don't have the words even now now I wasn't completely horrified because I went back now the 15th time I went the I'm never coming back here again ever now the next time I was there the so I had I went back a few times for massages and it was helping my
back it was I don't know I might have pulled something I don't know that sounds wrong but yeah anyway the last time I was there I was getting changed and I was just in there getting put my clothes on there's no one else around in the changing room there's a big old changing room and I was just putting my stuff on and I was just walking to I was not far from the door and I'm just walking to door and I hear a voice behind me so hello I turn around
and there's someone I've never seen before and she was like a mermaid but without a tail if that makes sense it it was and I went up and chatted to her of course but I just like didn't know where to look she was lovely if she's really friendly and I was all confused again because I didn't know she's talking to me because she liked me or she wanted to get to know me or she was just being friendly I didn't know I couldn't figure it out because she was she was
I've had really really even the best dates haven't gone as well as that went before I'd even spoken to her you know it's like what would you do now everything's all set in place it's almost just we should be getting married now it was weird but I didn't go back and I don't remember why I think I don't know I think I didn't feel very comfortable with all the men they were laying around because there wasn't many women around the staff were women but there was no it was just seemed
to be a lot of men I don't know I just didn't feel just didn't feel comfortable there for some I'm not really sure why wasn't I didn't feel very relaxed because I was wearing my dressing gown and chastity belt and stuff you know just and they I think I might have made them feel a little bit uneasy because they were going there to feel free and relaxed and seeing me sit there with my duffle coat on and sleeping bag and you know seven pairs of shoes it probably unrelaxed them a
little bit you know they weren't really enjoying themselves as much as they wanted to but yeah I had a real kind of a moment with that lady not the one that got into the jacuzzi with me that just confused me flat-out didn't know I don't even know how I talked don't know how I even managed to have a conversation with her because it was just on a just really absolutely didn't see that coming excuse the you know I did I just didn't I didn't know that was going to happen and
I didn't know places like that existed and it wasn't anything seedy it was just it was just naturist they were just happy they wanted to be as I guess they were born you know if you know I mean I just wanted to be free and I've never felt that way about my body I've never I never looked at myself in the mirror and thought more people need to see this complete strangers need to see this body now in public you know I've never thought that you know there's a lot of
people missing out no not never I've thought that when I've looked in the mirror at myself so yeah that was the story of that place yeah I think I might missed out on potential romance I know it's a strange way to meet someone but the lady in the in the dressing room she she's lovely she's like really friendly we do a chat in and I was able to hold a conversation with her but it was also at the same time surreal and yeah it was very difficult yeah yeah it's yeah
it was it was a strange strange strange one it was kind of like by then and we were both saying goodbye but I got a sense that neither of us wanted to say goodbye but I might just be looking more into it than but you know back then I was a lot younger I was a lot fitter I was you know didn't have an ounce of fat on me back then I was you know maybe I was I was not as much of a catch as I am now you know
so that's it for today thank you very much I'm gonna take the vinster out into the park and then I'm going to come back and in the next couple of hours I'm gonna edit this and upload it so it's done and then I will continue to work on the website and the podcasts you know the five and ten hours without music but until tomorrow I intend to make another one tomorrow which is Thursday and then I did a Q&A Friday on Friday I want to try and get back to being a bit more regular so thank you for listening remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy remember to be gentle with yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.