(no music) #1177 - The brain fascinates me - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (14th August 2024)

Hello, hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

It's warm in here. It is warm and I'm actually using a different camera for the first time in a while. So there might be a video, there might not be a video, it depends on whether or not there's enough space on the disc for this video.

So what I thought I might do is make fun of people. So um, my website is jasonnewland.com and if you are watching on YouTube, got my water, if you're watching on YouTube, my this recording is also available on my podcast. And it's available in four different versions with music or without music with music, five hours and 10 hours.

So before I start, let me do my gratitude. I think it's something I'm gratitudinal for. I'm feeling grateful that two things actually, I managed to get a fair bit of work done on the website.

And I call it administration side of things. So I'm in the process of rebuilding the website, jasonnewland.com. So that's going well. I've been uploading the recordings that you can download like all four versions.

I've been downloading or uploading those to I've been doing the relax and sleep hypnosis daily. So I'm up to about 160 or something out of 200 and something. So yeah, it's going quite well.

Also, I've been making the archive recordings on video of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. So I've now made 60 so far. So I'm quite pleased about that I kind of thought about should I do it or not.

And I did post a question or a poll on my Facebook group, which is Jason Newland's boring group. Join if you dare. And I basically, it came up pretty much No, don't bother up my question was, should I make them into videos and into YouTube and do all the old archive stuff for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

So I did it for everything else. And most people said no. But I think a couple of people said yes, I thought and then it's been a few weeks ago that I did that.

And now start thinking, well, maybe I will start doing it. Do like 10 maybe upload 10 a day or something like that. So or release 10 a day, I might upload 40 or 50 a day, but release 10 a day.

And it's just take a few months and then all that all be up to date and then he clear sailing and you never know some of the stuff might be worth watching or listening to. It's possible. Do I look red? Blimey, I always look red.

There's a lot of light. To be fair, it didn't look like I needed that much light in here. But it's hard to tell till afterwards.

Really. So blimey, we've now got very loud music downstairs. I hope that you can't hear that.

I can't really complain. I can. But it's Yeah.

Oh, well, I'm gonna I'm not gonna complain to them. It's just it's just not my type of music. It's very kind of bassy, hard dancing kind of stuff.

I've never been into dance music, really. It's not totally true. I was quite into dance music, probably in the 90s.

When I was a DJ, because I used to listen to it and I used to play it. So I kind of quite liked some of the 90s dance stuff. Everybody's free to feel good.

Stuff like that. That was good. As an example.

Right, so what I thought I would do today. Because something I've got a question. It's a question.

But it's still a question. And it's a question. And my question is, what's going on with Facebook? I'm confused.

And you might think, what do you mean? Why are you confused? Okay, I move that way. Blimey. Right.

So the amount of Facebook posts that doesn't make sense to me. Where people don't they put a post and they don't say who they're talking to. They don't aim it at a person like who are you talking about? So what I thought I'd do is go from my Facebook and just see some of these posts.

Okay. You're right. Right.

I got to find. Okay, it's not one. But now that I can't.

Now that I want to find stuff, I can't find anything. Nope. Less.

Right. Okay, I'm not going to say that one either. Okay, so this isn't a good example, because I'm trying to.

Oh, Terence Crawford apparently accepts Canelo's terms for a fight at 168 pounds. Canelo, let's do it. I always said, man, that's a big step.

But for a person to go up three weight classes from 147 to 168 and to win and become undisputed. Well, what can they say? They can't say nothing. It's I don't know.

It's a doggy. It looks a bit like Vinnie. We have been posting Jamie every single day for and now she has basically no interest in her.

Okay. See, that's okay. This is really boring.

Because why is it normally? What's not working? I normally get these posts, but this is just adverts. Just nothing but adverts. Why is that? I'm not seeing people's actual posts.

I'm just seeing a bunch of crap. Like, oh, I know what I've done. Nope, that's my profile page.

That's why it's so much rubbish. It's just advert like Ladbroke and Songovan and Passion Dan and happy left handers day to all my lefties. Yeah.

All right. I am good with this and I love my own company. Well, I suppose that's one post.

Let's have a look at another post. Right. Again, adverts, adverts.

This is quite good. I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a hug.

Oh, that's good. So this someone says some people cannot remember the last time they experienced pain. I cannot remember the last time I had a pain free day, which is horrible.

But how does she know that some people can not remember having ever had pain? I noticed that a lot with having dealt with people with chronic pain. It's it's all in all consuming. I understand, but it's all consuming.

And even when I had that toothache that I had at the beginning of the year. Absolutely ridiculous. I was like, I couldn't.

It was my wisdom tooth. So it was pretty deep. Quite, you know, wasn't nice.

But at no point was I thinking I'm the only one ever. And no one else, no one else has ever had a toothache like this. Because I know that's not true.

It's a weird mentality to have. I guess it's the mental health as well that comes along with it. I suppose with depression, no one's ever felt this way before.

Well, yeah, probably have professional hair, you're sort of mastering. See, here's here we go. Here we go.

Okay. This is an American, obviously. I was reminded.

Here's another thing is people don't post their words, they repost other people's words. So they're not thinking for themselves. I noticed that a lot of Facebook, like say something original.

Even if it's boring, like me, just say something, just say something. But no, I'm going to repost. And quite often, I don't even say where they've reposted it from.

You know, I won't, I won't read that one out, because it's just an attack on a future president or previous president. There's a lot of votey stuff on Facebook at the moment with American people. Like we don't get quite as I mean, there's a little bit of votey stuff here.

But our elections don't last for two years. It's just crazy, isn't it? You get elected to America and then like, right, what's the first thing that we need to do? Well, we need to show you around, Mr. President, or Miss Mrs. President. And got to show you you know, what's what here's all the secret files.

That's where all the UFOs are. That's what really happened happened with JFK and Martin Luther King. And what's the second thing? Well, we have to start planning for the next election.

Wow. So there's another one. Every single day, I seem to see another rehashing of a story about Keanu Reeves.

Every day. It's either this one, or there's a bloke who was on a he helped someone on a set and he's done this and he's done that, which is great. But I don't know why people keep posting it.

And it's always stays up. Wow, that's amazing. So there's one about Keanu Reeves, and I have to say his name properly.

There's another one about Sylvester Stallone, how he sold his dog. He sold his dog. So that because he ran out of money, and he didn't have enough money to live on.

So he sold his dog. And then when he sold his script, he he bought his dog back for $10,000. Well, he sold his dog.

There are people that would not do that. If I couldn't eat, I wouldn't sell Vinnie because I couldn't eat. It's a perfectly good meal there.

I'm sure I could squash him in the oven. And then and then and then I'm just joking blimey. And right again, I guess this is absolute rubbish.

On Facebook, I just just can't look at it. This is hard to find anybody that actually I can see their posts. Well, turn Facebook purple overdose awareness month.

So again, this is something that posted reposted it but it's a good good one. Actually, you'd think that the part of the brain that used to remember phone numbers would take over remembering passwords. But no.

So it's good that people become up with your own stuff. Not not that it's not to that person just generally. That's my challenge.

Come up with some stuff of your own. Post that on Facebook. You never know.

Not political is my challenge to an on a Facebook. Post your own opinion, your own joke or something like that. Something that's no one else has said before.

That's my challenge. That's a challenge. Even if it's boring, like me, that music is horrible down there.

It's not it's just boom, boom, boom, boom. It's not even music. I'm getting old.

I know. It's just it's a migraine, migraine music. unhealthy, I think.

See, it got so I feel the problem is I haven't read. Oh, here we go. If only I stopped the boats as quick as you did winter fuel payments.

Imagine. Keep this going, please. So someone shared that and now it's okay.

I'm not really into the whole getting bogged bogged down with boats. That's a big thing in the UK at the moment. I'd like to talk about boats.

Never had a boat. There's a doggie at least just like Vinnie, apart from well, doesn't really it looks a little bit like him. Oh, I mean, it's a cat.

Yeah, there's a big thing at the moment all about the old boats. Stop the boats. Stop the boats.

Right again, it's more crap. You may be old, but I got to see the world before it went. I may be.

You know what people have been moaning about the world. I reckon even Yeah, I reckon even in caveman days. The old you know, the elders, which would probably be and then the elders, probably about 35 talking to the 13 year olds, the adults.

So they're talking to the younger generation saying you don't know what used to be like when I was when I was your age, 12 years ago. Oh, things were a lot a lot better back then. Things are crap now.

Yeah, dinosaurs. We had dinosaurs. We still do have dinosaurs.

And then they said, Yeah, but not everyone believes in him. Now today. One of Jesus believes in dinosaurs.

So I think, yes, normal to moan about what's happened, you know, moaning about I always so much better. So it's better when I was young. Let me think.

Hmm. Didn't have the internet. I didn't have a nice telly.

When I was young, was it better? When I was 16? I was living above a chip shop. I was working loads of hours, getting paid practically nothing. And I wasn't happy.

I wasn't I didn't want wasn't better off. Okay, my health, I suppose. But not mental, not mentally, physically, I have my health.

I wasn't eating enough. No. Okay, let's skip forward to the 90s.

During my 20s. I had no money. I was doing crappy temporary jobs.

For most of the 90s. When I worked, I had a security job that wasn't very well paid. Living in East London.

Not particularly good lifestyle. Didn't have any money really to do anything. So yeah, that that was, yeah.

Wasn't a great, great time. I mean, there was good parts of it. comedy clubs and stuff, but didn't really get any showing any respect of the comedy clubs.

Oh, woe is me. You know, it's just a fact I've made a few friends, but it's only really the end of the 90s that things picked up a bit. 2000s worked in insurance, I was earning a little bit more money, which is better.

But for the first what three years, I was living in the YMCA building, which is full of asylum seekers. So I know what it's like to live in a refugee hotel where you know, which is fine. I think didn't care.

But it definitely had a few issues. There's a lot of problems between the locals and the new, the new entries to the UK. And I saw that I saw a riot once in the car park ended with quite a horrible ending, actually.

But it was Yeah, it's weird. Very strange. But then I was drinking, constantly drinking alcohol, all the way through the 90s, all the way through 2000s.

Really? Yeah. So 2000s weren't great. 2000 and the 70s weren't good.

77 picked up a bit. 78 79. Yeah, they're probably a bit better years.

They were the best years of the 70s was like those. I mean, I might have had a good couple of years in the 70s early on that I don't remember. But yeah, 80s.

I quite like being junior school for like 79 and 80. Those two years of junior school. That was quite easy.

And I just did my own thing really didn't really bother anyone and reading books and stuff. Probably my favorite time. Yeah, probably my favorite time of my whole life was probably when I was about 14 doing karate obsessed with martial arts.

I had a paper round so I could afford to I think my paper rounds in the morning. So I could afford to do karate I could afford to get weights and I had a little gym at the bottom of the garden. And yeah, that's probably my probably my favorite time of my life possibly was that 1984.

And yeah, I had a couple of quite good years 98 99. They were pretty good. Kind of like not not too bad years.

Good good for social aspects, dating and things like that. And I'm trying to think 2000s 2000s and probably going to you know 2006. That was probably the best year of 2000s.

2006 because that's when I started doing this stuff. That's when I started doing making videos sticking on MySpace and and then making podcasts and in 2007 doing YouTube and again making podcasts and then I was doing the free pain relief service in my local town. And I was volunteering at both the drug and alcohol places doing relaxation sessions.

So that was a nice and I was working part time. So that was nice period. And then I went to university in the October or September October 2007.

So that was quite a nice, quite a decent period in a way. And during university, I guess that was quite a good time ish. In some ways, but I was living in someone else's house that wasn't particularly nice.

It wasn't horrible, but it was just, I didn't feel particularly welcome there by the at least the door that lived there. She didn't seem to like me being there. She was an adult.

She was in her 30s, I think, or late 20s. So but I was a lodger, she was still living at home. She didn't, she'd always like jump when I walked into the room.

I said like, I've been living here to us. I said, I've been living there for two years now. She said, Yeah, but you could wear some clothes.

I said, Yes, fair enough. So but she'd like, oh, I'd walk it. Well, I'd actually be in the kitchen, looking through the cupboard.

Looking through the drawers, you know, try and find some money and stuff. But yeah, and I turned around, oh, maybe jump. You've had students living in this building in this in this house.

Students have been living there since she was a kid. Like for 20 years, students have been living there in those two rooms that when, well, I say 20 years, 10 years or whatever. It's like, you'd be used to it by now surely.

Anyway, I didn't say that to her. But that's what I thought to myself. I'm being nostalgic today for some reason started off wanting to make fun of Facebook and couldn't find anything on there.

So I felt quite there was a nice period. A nice period in because with mine, I don't have told you this in mind, which is where I did my I was counselling for mind for a while. And they gave me I had an interview with them.

I was qualified counsellor had an interview in 2010. The 2010 Yeah, I think it was 2010 2009. Somewhat sometime.

And the the lady that was in charge of mine in that area. Turned me down flat. No, I wasn't suitable.

She didn't like me. I don't know why. And before you ask, yes, I was wearing pants.

And before you ask again, no, it wasn't on my head. Blimey, what do you think I am? No answer. So I said, and I thought, okay, Dan.

Well, I became a counsellor with, and I think I already was at this point with another charity. But it was just for free. You know, I didn't get paid for it.

And there was volunteers. So I was there. But I got to know so many other counsellors.

And I got to know the counsellors that worked at mind as well, because a big crossover, sort of some of the same counsellors. And we'd be going on trainings together and Vinnie's just done the biggest smelliest fart. Wow.

I mean, more than usual. Really way, way more than normal that is. Oh.

So he, she, he, she, the, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I can't remember what I was talking about now. His fart has erased my brain. Did you know, I study psychology, but your course hasn't started.

It doesn't start till October. I listen to audio books every day. And it's just the basics of psychology.

But it's really interesting because a lot of the psychology, well, that's why I'm doing the degree. I've been interested in psychology since I was a kid, really. But the, there was, what was it? So the parts of the brain become more active, the more they use, I guess that makes sense.

It's just like a bicep, isn't it? There's nothing like a bicep, but you know, if you, or if you, if you use your legs a lot, then you're probably going to have fairly muscular or slim legs, muscular legs, probably. If you, you know, if you're doing a lot of lifting, then you might have muscular torso. If you do a lot of listening, you have big flappy ears.

I don't know quite how it works. And I always used to have big ears, but I kind of grew into them. If you see me as a baby, honestly, that I had to have, I had to be in a really heavy pram or pushchair, really heavy pushchair.

And I had to get tied in. I had to have bricks in the bottom of it, because if the wind caught my ears, the pushchair just blow off unless it fly away. So the parts of your brain, it's all about lying.

People that lie or people that steal, people that do something that they wouldn't normally do. And the more they do it, the easier it is to do it again, because that part of the brain, whether it's the frontal cortex or whatever it is, I mean, it might be that part of the brain, and it weakens the part which says no. I guess the moral, the moral part of us to say no, that's wrong.

What about that person? Would you like that someone to do that to you? Would you? That stops working so well. And the more that someone does something, chances are they can lead to do more of that and worse, because their conscious conscience or whatever is weakened. So yeah, I just find that stuff interesting.

How it's so much of what we do and like our brain affects our behavior, but our affair, our behavior affects our brain. It's in the same way as if you relax your body, your mind relaxes. If you relax your mind, your body relaxes.

You know, you slow your breathing, your body relaxes. When your body relaxes, your breathing slows down. It's just like all that kind of continuous thing that happens.

And the fact that we can actually change the neural pathways in our brain, and we can grow certain parts by stimulating certain parts, make certain parts of our brain stronger by repetition. And we do that naturally. And apparently, you know, someone that learns to play a musical instrument at a very early age, has the dexterity or the part that's connected to them moving, let's say, to play the violin, for example, which I used to actually when I was about eight, no, nine, nine years old, and do that.

And that part, and the fluidity or the creativity of being able to do that. I don't really know what I'm talking about. It sounds good, though, doesn't it? Partly.

And then my left buttock is aching. Oh, how long I've been sitting here for? No way. Have I been here for 36 minutes? Really? Why is it saying an hour on there? Oh, well.

So I, apparently, if you do that as a kid, then you know, when you get that sort of my age, you're just going to have more neural pathways created than if you started when you were an adult. But that might just be simply because you've been doing it longer. Hmm.

Maybe. But then they say if you learn the best time to learn a language, I'll come kind of notice anyway. That's me moving.

This is kind of obvious, really. But yeah, the best time to learn a language to learn a new language is when you want to when you're interested. No, it's when you're young when you're a kid, like a baby, really, when you're learning to speak, because the brain is more able to deal with learning more than one language at the same time.

Learning a new language when you get older, when we get older is harder. Not impossible, but it's just harder. The older we get.

But then that might also be, you know, we've learned more words. I'm sure I know more words now in English than I did when I was three. But I would have been confused.

Can you imagine being in the brain of someone like a little baby? So they're born in, let's say they're born in England. They've got, let's say, a French mother, a German, let's say Chinese mother, father, you know, one of them is Chinese, speaks Mandarin. The other parent is French.

And they're born in England. And the grandmother is from Wales. I don't know, just trying to think.

So there's at least three languages that they're going to be speaking. Because both the parents are going to want the child to speak their language. The child's going to have to speak English to get on in this country, especially as a little kid going to school and that.

Everything's in English or TV's in English and stuff, unless you watch a channel that isn't in English. I'm not sure if there is any. Vinnie has let off a really massive fart again.

I hope it's him. I'm starting to get a little bit worried in case it isn't actually him. Oh, man.

Wow. It's really bad. I'm talking really bad, like really bad.

So I haven't got the window because of all the noise. And although I've got the sound of the music, I've got two big mats on the floor, which I hope is drowning the sound of the music a little bit from reaching the microphone. But.

So I find that interesting, the idea that. Our brains can be affected by what we do, but also because, you know, our brains affect what we do as well. So it's all that thing about free choice.

Is it free? Is there free choice? Because brain changes that comes from injuries or stuff like that can transform a person's personality. They've got no choice in that. And isn't that weird? Like someone can be like have had an accident, a trauma to the head, and they can be a different, like completely different person.

I go from being really spiteful and rude and obnoxious and a thief and a liar to being really kind and generous and a pleasure to be around. And it's not their fault that they've changed. And I'm sure all their family was like, we just want him back.

We want the old him back. We want the liar back. We just miss all our stuff going missing and not being able to believe a single word he says ever.

And now he's nice. He's a pleasure to be around. It's just too much.

I can't handle it. It's not his fault, though. It's not his fault.

He can't help it. I mean, if only, if only he'd been, if only he'd been the other way around, and it'd be nice to start with, maybe someone wouldn't have hit him over the head with a with a baseball bat. Oh, I've never seen someone.

Actually, no, there was this, there was this movie. I don't remember this. If you've seen it, a bloke wakes up and he can't get within.

Oh God, he's just done another one. It's like stink bombs. You're right.

You're right, mate. Stop farting, please. Stop farting.

It's a really bad smell. It's the worst farts. And he's just been out to the toilet.

He's been he's gone. It's not like he's holding it in. He's like, Oh, I need a poo.

I need a poo. And he's letting a little bit of gas out bit by bit. He's just wish you've all done gone sitting on a train or in a job interview.

You know, he's like, Oh, I wish I'd gone for a poo before I got into the into the room with an interviewer. And I know if I just let a little bit of gas out at a time, try not to make too much of a facial expression. And you like you have to make out that the chair is a bit uncomfortable.

So you can obviously maneuver to let some gas out and hope that they don't notice. They always notice. They always notice.

Yeah, got that noise downstairs. It's just a din. It's noise.

I don't think it's just I'm I never liked that kind of music. I moved into a place in 2011. Which reminds me back to what I was talking about now.

Yeah, anyway, 2011. And there's this young well, they're all young and well, apart from one lady that was older than me, I think. And but there was quite a few young people living there.

And there's this bloke and he's living with his girlfriend. And they they had like a room similar room to I had with on suite. Well, he used to play music shook the whole building.

It was so the bass was so strong. And I'd go downstairs into the room Nick that was just below him. And she'd be sitting there and the bed and just the bed would be shaking.

And she'd be looking at me I said what? I said, Well, don't you say something? She said, I know. And she's like, so I went and spoke to him. And he was like, just like as long as you just keep the bass down a bit.

And he said, Oh, it's fine. Don't sorry. Next thing I hear him in the garden slagging me off.

Because that's the thing people would be nice to like, oh, okay. But they're not going to stop the music. If anything, they're going to turn it louder.

That's the weird that's why it's just almost pointless asking people to turn it down because they might be okay in this in that moment like okay, and then like, how dare she knock on my door and ask? Oh, I don't want to breathe in this smells so bad. Oh, me. Oh, I hope it's him.

That's a really, really bad smell. Unless it's the camera. Well, I've got light shine, but no cameras not going to stink is it? It'd be weird if it was.

Now I think it's him. He's right aimed. Yeah, he's right underneath the table.

With his body contortion towards me, you know, that part, you know? Yeah. So I just think Ah, I don't know. I even thought about that.

Was it so the bloke? Yeah. So one of my good memories is 2011. Beginning of 2011.

The lady that used to run mind left and her assistant, who I got on really well with, became or she I think I don't I think basically the one that was there before she became ill or something. So she wasn't in. So her assistant took over.

And she started giving me work. So the cameras just run out. They're supposed to so supposed to be six hours of battery on the camera and it's just just run out.

Oh, well. I'm not sure what to do with that. I mean, it's got six hours and I've been talking for half an hour.

Maybe I had on too much of a powerful like K4 4k rather. I don't know. I'm gonna smell the camera and make sure if it was the camera that stunk.

I'm glad I've not got this on camera. Me smelling the camera because that's very strange behavior. I can relax now.

And I've got some stupid thing pointing at me. I still got these lights shining on me. Blimey.

Nothing like a light shining down on your baby. So yeah, so that's good. I can't remember what I was talking about.

Oh yeah. She's she started giving me. Did I say what I was grateful for? Did I even mention what I was grateful for at the beginning? I can't remember.

I remember one of those days. One of those. Vinnie.

No, no mate. Don't even think about it. Otherwise, me and you gonna fall out.

We're gonna fall out. Fall out. Fall out.

Fall out. No. Stop it.

Um, okay. What should we do? Always shouting down. Always shouting out there.

They literally stand about two inches away from each other. Put it this way. If those on telly.

Well, if you're watching on telly. If you was in America or whatever and you you could turn the volume on to mute and still be able to hear them. That's how loud they are.

Is that an exaggeration? Maybe. Maybe. It might be an exaggeration.

It could be. Um, yeah, so it was. Yeah, so I'm just got distracted then.

So I this lady she gave me. I remember I was sitting in my room because I still lodging in a place where I was living. Stu.

It was like a student accommodation, but it wasn't really. It was private student accommodation. So I wasn't living in halls of residence or anything like that.

Which known how grumpy I am and how I don't enjoy other people's loud music. It's probably a good idea that I wasn't living like that. And let's face it, it wouldn't have been fair, would it? If you imagine some 1918 19 year old waking up and coming out into the bed, the but you know, the kitchen and seeing me there in my underpants smoking my pipe.

With my moustache and my top hat. I mean, you know, that would have been holding an umbrella for no reason. Just complaining, telling everyone that they don't know how good they got it.

In my day, you know, so I probably was better to do that. I think with this new degree that I'm doing in October, I'll be living here. So I got my home.

And I'll be doing I think it's 16 hours a week, Vinnie calm down, just continue licking my feet. Thank you. I love it when he licks my feet.

I do. It's like don't lick your own feet. Like you can lick your own feet anytime.

Continue with mine. Thank you very much. And we stopped fighting now.

So that's good. Isn't it weird as soon as soon as the camera stops working, the thoughts stop. tracking the camera was somehow activating his bum.

I don't know how that could be. You never know do you? Maybe it's some electrical, electrical thing. And it was triggering his fart response or something.

I don't know. Maybe I should contact Sony. Find out if they've ever had any anything like this before.

So yeah, this, this lady, who was the assistant of the counseling coordinator assistant, she took over the counseling coordinators job temporarily. And she was lovely. I got really well with her.

I'd known her for over a year at this point. And she just started giving me work, giving me clients. And I ended up with about 16 clients a week.

I went from nothing to why I went, I had probably four clients a week with the free one that the chart, the children's charity. And then I suddenly within a month or two, probably within a month, actually, it's quite quick. I ended up with 16 clients, 4014 or something with them, and I was getting paid 25 pound per session, 50 minute session.

And I couldn't believe it. Like it was almost like winning the lottery, not not financially, but in a sense of I'd worked hard to get to where I was, I'd done the three years degree. And, you know, although I didn't get a good grade, as the degree was a third, I got a past.

But I did do I excelled with the counseling part of it. Even though it's a counseling degree, but it's the the coursework I didn't do so well on. And that was only because I didn't I handed most of my coursework in late.

So it was capped at 40% or something for the last two years. So had, I mean, I wouldn't have got a first, but I would have got probably a second. I'd have got a second if I'd have if I'd have handed all the stuff in on time.

So yeah, or one two, or one, two, three, or one, two, three, four, five, everybody dance, everybody dance. Oh, it's wonderful to be alive. So yeah, I that was quite good times.

It didn't. It was weird, because I think about a month after getting the extra work, I was suddenly evicted, or given an eviction, an eviction letter to get out of the student accommodation, because they wanted basically what they do want me there anymore, because I wasn't a student. And yeah, that was weird.

So I got into the next place. I was trying to think, I suppose the next good period was probably when I moved in here. 2014.

But it was and it wasn't, if that makes sense, because I, I moved in here in April. But only been four months since my grandmother, my nan had passed away. So I was still still still kind of dealing with that in a way.

And I was given psychotherapy, not for the bereavement, but I was on the waiting list for psychotherapy for about, I don't know, year and a half. And when it finally came through, and I started doing it in 2014, I probably spoke more about my nan than about why I was originally given the psychotherapy. And it was that was for my mental health stuff.

So it's not that it was wasted, because it really wasn't. But it was, it wasn't the reason for having it. I didn't talk about my nan the whole time.

Also talked about mine, mining and astrology. And I went through a phase, you know, whether or not is it? Is it morally wrong to paint elephants? You know, I just went through that. I didn't, you know, my psychotherapist remained unsure on that one.

Did we want to commit? So yeah, it's just, you know? Yeah. So yeah, that's, that's it really. Vinnie, you are so beautiful.

You're so I'll tell you about that dog to tell you about the dog, the big black one that he kind of lunged at the other day. I saw it. I actually saw the owner of that dog with the little dog.

So got to because he was with the mother. The big dog was with him with his wife. And he was in the park.

So I told him about what Vinnie did. And then he was Vinnie was off the lead, running around with Archie in the park a few couple of hours ago. And well, it's less Yeah, it was about an hour and a half ago.

And he, the bloke came in with into the park with this big, big black dog again. And Vinnie was, oh no, Vinnie's off the lead. What's going to happen there? Vinnie ran over and he laid on his back.

All submissive. I thought good. That's nice.

You know what happened next? Archie started barking at the dog. The big dog. We've got Vinnie, Vinnie jumped to his feet and started growling at the dog as well.

It's like, oh man, it's just come on. Give me a break. He was doing so well, but no Archie had to like, between the two of them.

It's they're very brave. It was, it was a, it was funny, but they didn't, they didn't do anything. But they both kind of a barking at this big, huge dog and huge dog was reacting.

Not necessarily in in an, uh, an aggressive way, but, and then the mother, his wife came running into the park with the little dog. So I don't know, she was unsure what was going on because there was all this barking going on. And, um, so she had the little dog as well, but it's a huge, it's a huge, it's a little big dog.

So it's going to be the same size as the other dog, but it's a puppy at the moment, but that one's Brown. The big one's black. And Vinnie, for some reason has an issue with black dogs.

He's just, I don't know if he had any, if he had something happen before I got him, but yeah, it's weird. Well, it's just, just is, is his whatever. I don't know.

I just don't get it. I don't get it. Right.

He's now eating little bits off the floor, little bits of food that he can find. So it means he's hungry, which means I need to get him some food. Obviously, I suppose that's, that's an obvious thing, isn't it? So what do I do about this camera though? What do I do about the camera? Cause it filmed for about what, 35, 40 minutes and then just stopped.

There was a full battery in there and it said there was six hours worth on there. So I don't understand. And I'm going to take out the, the, what's it unless it was just full cause it's 64 gigabytes.

Maybe that wasn't enough room on the, on the disc. I need a, I do have a hundred and no 256 gigabyte, one fresh in a new one in a fresh packet that I can perhaps put in there. So maybe there wasn't enough room on the disc, but the picture looks fairly good.

I'm going to take it out and just put it and see what it looks like on my computer. If it looks okay, I might, I might start to play with the idea of filming. If I'd have done that on my phone, it would have been fine, but it's just, it's not a great picture to be honest.

Outside is good, but inside with the light in this, this not, I just, I just don't think that it, it brings out the contours. I just, it doesn't bring out the best in me. I think I basically, I need a filter.

I need some kind of a filter on the camera or on the video. Which means I need to start using some decent editing software for the videos, because at the moment I don't. I use a free one and I suppose if I, if I want to start making the videos look okay, perhaps I need to start paying for, you know, an app or I don't know, there's a few, quite a few different ones.

I mean, I do Canva, I can do video stuff on there, but it's limited size wise. So I can't upload huge files to there. That's where the, the, if it, if I could, then I'd be fine, because it's quite good for editing, very basic editing.

But I might have to look into that. But what I'll do for this one is I'll just make this into a normal, just a video like I did with the archive ones for YouTube. And I'll post that tomorrow.

I'll do the editing tomorrow morning for this. And I'll turn that into a little video, just for those that like to listen on YouTube. And relax.

Right, he's literally looking through his bits of dry food that he's dropped on the floor. So I need to go feed a little. He's not bothering me though.

He doesn't really, he begs when he wants to go out and stuff like that. But when he, I think he quite likes to hunt, you know, to look around for things that have fallen out of his bowl and stuff like that. Like, oh, can I find a little scrap on the floor? He quite enjoys that.

It's the hunter in him. It's a game, I guess. What are you doing Vin? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing my little baby girl? Are you okay? Are you okay? Baby.

He's looking at me like, you silly, silly person. Okay, I have to be rude. Yeah, this is one of those, I feel like I've not talked about anything at all.

Oh, well. Well, thanks for listening. I'm going to go.

So remember, remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. And I am going to do a Q&A Friday this week.

Lots of love. Bye.