(no music) #1146 - Being Manly - Open University - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (12th June 2024)

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, depending on when you're listening. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Thank you for listening and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

For those that have never listened to Let Me Bore You To Sleep before, how best to describe this kind of recording? I don't know really, it's just me talking about stuff. That's all it is really. There's four different versions of each recording.

There's the recording without music, just me talking for the length of however long it is. Then there's that same recording with background music. Then there's a five hour version where it's the same recording but there's music and in the background for the remaining of the five hours is me giving you positive suggestions, body scan, counting down, things like that.

And the 10 hour version is the same as a five hour version except it's 10 hours long. I hope I explained it correctly. Some people ask why do you do so many different recordings? Well I'm just trying to cater for, well not everyone, but as many people as I can.

Different people have different preferences. Some people like the ones without music, some people like the ones with music, some people like the ones five hour, 10 hour, you know, so it's just everyone's got their own preference. So that's why I do that.

I have two podcasts, both of them are on SoundCloud. Yeah SoundCloud. There's the Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, Jason Newland in brackets, and the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

So the Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply on SoundCloud is every new recording I do including, although I've not uploaded everything, I'm still in the process of that, all the old stuff as well. So although my podcasts are available on all the main podcast hosts or streaming places, apps such as Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, TuneIn, I don't know, wherever. They're all over the place.

So they're available. However, you'll only get the most recent recordings on there, which might be all you want, which is fine. However, I've been doing this for a long, long time.

So you might look, think, 250 different recordings or whatever. So it's a lot. It's not really not for me.

Not for me. It's a tiny, tiny amount. I've got 1000s of recordings, literally 1000s.

So and lots of different things as well. So if you are interested in some of the older stuff, some of the archived material, as it were, if you go to, if it's the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones, then go to Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast. If it's any of the other stuff, then the best place to go is the other one I mentioned, whatever it's called.

I keep forgetting the name of it. Hypnosis is Sleeping Deeply. Because on that playlist, you've got lots of different ones.

I mean, I'm in the process of not really explained this very well, have I? I'm in the process of doing it, to be fair, but you got to stop smoking, bedtime, storytime, ASMR, whisper, sleep in boring objects. The one I'm currently doing working on at the moment is the that's weird. Where is it? Relax, stress and pain relief.

So I'm working on stress and pain relief ones. When I say I'm working on them, I'm actually in the process of I've been uploading the ones without music onto that podcast. And I'm also been creating videos for my YouTube channel.

So if you're interested in my YouTube channel, if you want to find out where that is, if you go to YouTube, just put my name in Jason Newland. And you'll find me on there. So if you'd like to please subscribe.

And eventually, every single recording I've made will be on YouTube. I've got one, I've got 631 on there at the moment. 631 videos.

And all of them bar one, which is a very old recording, which I've kept without music, because YouTube doesn't like background music. For some reason, I kept getting copyright strikes. So I'm only uploading or making videos without the background music.

But they are basically just a podcast episodes with a video is moving image and stuff. So they're quite quite a nice little video. And it's me talking.

So I'm in the process now of uploading the stress and pain relief episodes. There's 47. And I'm in the process of uploading number eight and number nine to YouTube.

So I'll be working on that today. It's just some just working on it. And on the podcast episode podcast, rather than I just mentioned, I've uploaded all 47 of them without music.

And I'll put down to a playlist. So basically, that's what I'm trying to say the playlists will give you I've still got to work on all of them. But the playlists will give you all the old stuff.

Or you can just go to the podcast and just you know, scroll down for forever. That's another way of doing it. Alternatively, if you're interested in the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Let me have a look at that podcast for you. Oh, oh, there we go. Was taking a time to come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Whoa. Okay, now it's open. So the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast is okay, cool.

This has got all the latest recordings on there. Not all of the podcasts, apps, update instantly. So it might take a few hours for them to update the latest recordings.

And it's pretty good, but they're not always straight away. As soon as I've edited, processed and done all the stuff for the recordings, I upload the latest Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings. Well, actually, I upload the latest of any recording I do where even if it's a hypnosis thing, and to my Facebook group.

So I upload or I post rather don't upload it, I post it. So I post the one without music and the 10 hour version to my Facebook group, which is Jason Newland's boring group. Is it that what's called? I really should be more prepared.

But I'm really not am I? I'm really not more prepared. Oh, Jason Newland's boring group. That's it.

That's what it's called. The moment I got 168 members. The group's been running for about five years, believe it or not.

Wow. Wow. Also, I want to say a big thank you to Emil for your PayPal gift.

Much, much appreciated. I did post a thank you on there on on the group. And also Minky Rats and Mary as well.

So thank you very much. Got a couple of comments on here. By the way, if you want to see Vinnie standing on a windowsill doesn't sound so exciting when I say out loud, but it's a really cute picture.

I've got this chair that I put next to the windowsill. So that he can get onto the windowsill and he can look out. He loves it.

He sunbathes. You know, he just goes to sleep on the windowsill. Or sometimes he just but he's like, it really grabs his attention.

It stimulates him. So you can watch people and watch the cats. He can it's kind of like a cat himself, really.

And sometimes he gets way too excited. But he just loves it. You know, I've got the top window open, can't get out.

But the other two windows are open, but on the lock. That makes sense. So he can, he can sniff through the window, but he can't actually get through the window.

So there's a picture of him on the windowsill. And it's weird from the angle, it looks like I've got quite a nice room. I mean, it's not a bad thing.

I'm just really messy and untidy and other words that mean the same thing. He, he loves it on there. And I just thinking, well, I got quite nice.

This flat could be nice if I actually put a little bit of effort in. I mean, I have put effort in as far as I did a good old big old tidy up this week. I need to work on the kitchen.

There's a lot to do to clean the kitchen up. And the bathroom. It's I came with a dodgy, dodgy toilet.

Like just it's just it's Yeah, it's not it's not nice to look at. Just because it's the lime scale and it's it's Yeah, need to sort of sort that out. But I don't want to be I don't really want to be using like heavy duty chemicals, especially with Vinnie being here.

And you know, it's like, I just don't. Yeah, I'd rather not use anything that's like harmful. But something needs to be done about that.

And the the sinks, okay, the baths, okay, all needs to clean a bit. They were okay. It's just that toilet.

It's not disgusting. It's a horrible it is, but it's not not in a Okay, should we talk about something else? Why do you keep talking about the toilet? I don't want to talk about toilet. Stop asking me about the toilet.

Oh, talking about questions. It's Q&A Friday coming up. So I'll post that.

After I posted these recordings on to my Jason Newlands boring group on Facebook, I will post a big Q&A Friday time. And if you've got any questions, just ask, post them there and I will answer them or at least attempt to answer them on Friday. I shouts I shouts Yes.

And then I'll be Wow, was it when it's Tuesday today? Or is it Wednesday today? It's Wednesday today. Right. Okay, cool.

So it gives you a couple of days. And it's not really much point posting it on a Monday. Because it gets lost with all the other posts.

But if I post it on a Wednesday gives you a day to kind of just think up some questions. That's enough. And while two days Wednesday and all through Thursday as well.

And then Friday afternoon. Or maybe earlier I will make the recording. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

So I'm making this recording much earlier than I normally do. Now, I've been leaving it till like in the evening. And by the evening, I'm tired.

I'm a little bit too tired to be making recordings. And like last night, for example, I didn't want to just didn't want to do it. So couldn't be bothered.

And not just through tiredness, I just was in the mood. So I wasn't in the mood rather to do it. So maybe I need some Viagra.

So I wasn't in the mood. He's never in the mood anymore. He used to love doing it.

He's no more. He just wants to sit and watch television. He's turned into an old man.

An old man now. He's lost interest. So I kind of thought, you know what, my most awake time is kind of now.

I got up early in the morning. So I went to bed at 10. I woke up at four.

Thanks to Vinnie waking me up. So it's weird. He's barking.

This is something downstairs, maybe someone leaving their flat or whatever. So he does a little bit of a barking wakes me up. And then he settles down again.

And I realize I'm awake now. Check the time. It's 10 past four, something like that in the morning.

It's much easier getting up when it's light outside. So I get up. He stays in bed.

So he wakes me up. But he stays in bed and goes back to sleep. So what I do is I make my breakfast.

I pull the covers over him. He loves that now. That's his thing.

In fact, I've got a picture of him with the covers pulled over. I'll try and post that maybe as the picture on this podcast. It's so cute.

Seriously, like really, really cute. And I watch a bit of TV, did a little bit of internet stuff. And then, what was it, couple of hours later, so I've been up for a couple of hours and I went back to bed for about an hour and a half, maybe more.

And then I wake up because the dust people, refuge collectors were here. And Vinnie doesn't bark at all at the refuge collection. I can't speak today.

At the... So I've always called them the dustbin men. But I try and change my language to be more politically correct. But they collect the dustbins or the dustbin bags.

And I've never seen anything that men do it around here anyway. I've no doubt women do it well. But it's just like, it's just what I've always said.

I've always said dustbin men, milkman, postman. And my postman is a woman. So no, it's not postman.

But then woman is part man, woman, man. So I don't know, it's never, never do out of insulting or dismissing. It's what I'm just used to saying.

Just used to saying milkman, postman and butcher man and fishermen. It's kind of hard to, even though I'm aware that and millions of people, most fish people that go out on the trawlers and into deep sea fishing, like the really dangerous job. It's mainly women that do that, isn't it? I don't think they're even men.

They're almost super human beings that do that. They're not human. To be able to go out in the middle of the ocean.

I've seen those documentaries. It's superhuman what they do. How do they do it? I don't know.

They're not men or women. They're a different species. It's like that temperature, that wind, all those big waves.

It's one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. No, I'll stick to my knitting. Thanks.

I'm talking about myself. Oh God, everything's going wrong. It's going wrong.

He's a misogynist. I'm not. I'm not a misogynist.

You can't even say misogynist. I can, I just said misogynist. You can't be misogynist.

You're not saying it right. Should I move on? I want to move on now. Did you do realize that most people listen to you are women? I know.

Not on YouTube though. Men, mostly men. Well, majority men.

I love everybody equally. It's never true, is it? You know when people say that? I love all my kids the same. No, you don't.

Sorry. Sorry to break it to you. No, you don't.

I don't have any favorites. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

My dad always said that. Oh, I ain't got no favorites. Yeah.

I'm an only child, dad. Yeah. It'd be nice if I was a favorite.

My dad's favorite was my little brother. I mean, you could tell a favorite by the way that they're treated. It's not complicated, is it? You know, we've got to have his ears and eyes and especially if you're living in a place and you live around these people, you can see exactly what's going.

I remember my little brother, he bit me. We were playing and maybe I was teasing him whatever but he bit me on my cheek and I'm actually and I'm screaming. My dad thought he was screaming because he said, oh, I heard a little child screaming and I was what 14 or something.

So, my dad walks into his bedroom and he sees, no, it's the hallway. I walk into the hallway. My dad comes upstairs.

He sees me standing there with my little brother hanging off of my face. He's still got, he's still biting my cheek and he's still there attached to my face. Who do you think got in trouble? You know the answer, don't you already? Yeah, me.

I got in trouble. I was like, what? I mean, I've never been Mr. Clever or whatever but you don't have to have intelligence to realize that that is dumb. Like really, really, really dumb.

It's just, I mean, I know it's easy to judge others and I know because I do it all the time. I love it but it's a lot of fun. You should try it sometime.

It's like, I remember once my, we were having toasted sandwiches for the first time. Those Breville toast, not toasted sandwiches as in like two bits of toast and that's boring. I never realized that was boring until the Breville toaster and wow, they were just amazing.

Anyway, we had them for the first time. I think they'd just been invented actually. We didn't have the first one before it was, they were on sale.

My dad didn't have a connection with the factory or something but so we had a contact in China that he didn't, he wasn't a spy. He wasn't. Oh, please.

Oh, no, he wasn't. Of course he wasn't. And I, yeah, I remember that.

It was all exciting and we had different fillers. So I think I had beans and sausages in mine and I think my step-mom did a few different ones like beans and sausages, ham and cheese maybe or just cheese on its own, cheese and tomato. Well, my brother, one of my brothers, the older ones, because it makes the cheese really melty.

Well, it melts the cheese but really melty, like stringy. Well, anyway, he basically, it went down his throat, he started choking on it. And even to this day, it was the most strangest scenario I've ever known that I remember since.

My dad was actually asking him what was wrong. So he was turning blue, not my dad, although he was getting angry. What's wrong? What's wrong? You can clearly see he's choking.

Even I, I'm no medical paramedic person but I could see that he was choking. We were eating and now he's choking. And my dad's like, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? I didn't say it because I probably wouldn't be here to tell you the story.

And in the end, I think my dad gave him the, I don't know, hit him on the back or something which his lungs shot out of his mouth. So yeah, that kind of sorted that out. It's like, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong.

Like, did you go to school? Blimey. It just seems most like this. But then I'm not, I'm not a father.

Maybe when you become a father, you just forget simple facts. And you don't, you know, maybe the brain shrinks when they become parents or something like just, it's strange. It used to always make me laugh.

I've met a few people with kids and I see them, the way they behave when the kids are young. And then I see the kids when they become teenagers and how they behave towards their mum usually, to be fair, it's not usually in these situations anyway. And, and my friends wonder, why is my daughter playing up? Why is she doing? Well, what does her behaviour remind you of?

And then the grandmother, the little girls or the teenage grandmother would laugh, sit back laughing.

Ah, that's what you used to be like. And I think to myself, that's what you're still like, what are you talking about, you used to be like, you're still like that. So I had this friend, she was like, honestly, like a teenager, even when she was in her 50s, still like a teenage girl.

Just loud, obnoxious. I'm not saying all teenage girls are loud and obnoxious. But just, you know, the misbehaving part, I mean, I was, I was a misbehaviour kid when I was young.

I was when I was a teenage girl, I was ever so naughty. But I think the problem is, is once I developed boobs, I knew that I had power over all the boys. And this is going in a weird direction.

Let's move back. Let's rewind. I used to make me laugh, but I was part of it.

But we come back from school, you know, summer holidays, and suddenly, a female that was just someone that went to school suddenly became the most talked about and attractive person in the world. And yes, I used to hear girls talking about boys exactly the same. Wasn't just wasn't one sided.

I used to hear girls talking like, he's so handsome. He's so tall. And look at his muscles.

He's got a deep voice now. And I still I still like to listen to what people are saying. So sometimes I would keep quiet and just just sit there and listen.

And that's when I realised, yeah, it's both sides is, is equal. Men are a little bit more basic. Boys are a little bit more basic, I think than girls, generally.

Just they know what they like, and they don't doubt that's it. Well, isn't Oh, sexist. Yeah, towards boys.

I'm being sexist towards boys, but I don't remember ever. And I'm talking ever having a conversation with another male, or a group of males, because that's when this is what I'm talking about group talk. Don't you ever had a conversation or listen to a conversation with lots of males, a group of males, and they're talking about just want commitment.

Just wanted to show me that she cares. And someone says you need to test her. You need to, you need to give her a task.

But don't tell her. No, you need to ask her questions where there's only, there's a really confusing but there's only one way you can steer the answers. But you have to ask when they're not expecting it.

So this is really, yeah, constant tests. Really? Yeah, it works. Really helps to cement a relationship makes them want to be with you even more.

Yeah, sure. The problem I've got is I prefer women. Oh, I kind of have done.

And most of my life prefer women. Just company of women rather. I don't prefer like, not sexually, girls.

No, I do. I just, I get on better with women than I do with men always have done. I don't really know why.

I think I might be a woman. I might have a bit of a woman's brain. Men and women have the same brains.

Oh, dear. Does anyone actually believe that? It's not true. No one has the same brains.

No, no, two humans have the same brains. You're sure they better. This is interesting.

Like, all women have smaller brains. No, they don't have the same brain size as men. They have smaller skulls.

So there's less distance between the skull and the brain in a woman's head than there is in a man's head. There's more fluid, more space, no, I don't think anyone's going to argue that. There's more space in a man's head.

Yep. I think most women would agree with that. A lot of space in my husband's head, huge amounts of space.

In fact, I don't know even if there's room for his brain. So that's it. So the skull is closer to a woman's brain, which technically, you would think that boxing would not be allowed.

It's much more dangerous in women than it is in men. Because they punch, they punch, they don't punch as hard as a professional boxer. Like, you know, if you got a professional middleweight man, if you got a professional, okay, if you got a world champion, a male world champion, and a female world champion at the same weight, the man's going to be stronger.

It's just, it's a physical thing. But I'm pretty sure that a female world champion would knock out most men. It was like a standard man would not be able to take that because they're trained.

I want to get out of this hole. How do I get out of it? I like this. I like these conversations.

People think, oh, you're being serious. Like, I don't care. I don't care enough about the subject to, to be serious or to really be bothered.

I just talk to say stuff. Oh, that's all. That's all it is really.

I remember there was one girl at school, and she got nothing but attention, like from boys, like, and she dated older men, you know, but as soon as she was, I don't know, probably 14, she was getting picked up by a boyfriend who had a car. You know, it's just standard kind of situation back then. But she was nice.

The difference between her and her friends, who were kind of similar kind of group, the popular girls, she was actually a nice person. She was friendly to people that she didn't want to be, that she didn't like, not like, but she was friendly for no reason. She didn't want anything.

She was just a nice person. And no one was beneath her. And the reason I know that is because she used to speak to me.

And I was the lowest, I was right down on the on the pecking field, whatever they call it. And I saw her in I think it was 91 92. So left school at 86.

So it's not that long, five years. And she was talking to me and she was lovely. So it's lovely to see her.

Like just, but she was different. She's much friendlier. I mean, she used to be friendly as in Hello.

Goodbye. Please get out of my bedroom. I'm never gonna leave the window open again.

You know, that kind of that kind of situation. But this time she was like really chatty. And it was Yeah, she had a boyfriend and she had two kids or something by this time or she had a kid on the way.

Or she had a kid and was like, Wow, it was just really interesting just to see how she'd how she looked and because I haven't seen hardly anyone from school. In fact, what was weird, I went to a friend's wedding. And one of her friends, someone that I also kind of knew a bit, did some hypnosis with her actually in 2006.

Anyway, this woman was at the table with her boyfriend sitting at a table with me. He wasn't sitting next to me, but he was a couple up on the table. We were kind of the stragglers of the of the group.

We weren't family. And she just put we didn't you know, like, we were just people that she knew. It turns out that the bloke that was with her friend was someone I was friends with at school, like someone I was good friends with.

But even after school, like, you know, even like in my early late teens, and he'd be telling this, you know, all about stuff, how naughty I was and stuff we used to get up to like, I was like, Why didn't he say anything to me? I didn't recognize him. Why didn't he say hello? We could have had might be an interesting wedding. Might have had some fun.

That's strange. It's and if it's a person, I think is, I've known him since I was eight, all the way up to, I don't know, 2019 or something. Yeah.

20. Yeah. 19.

Yeah, 20. So I've known him all those years. That's a long time being around his house.

I used to play with him when I was eight, and then ended up going to the same school as him, but it was a different school. Yeah, we went to different schools. And then we ended up going to the same school again, later on.

So, you know, didn't even say hello, did I? Hello. I don't know why I said that. We know what hello sounds like.

But hello. Do you ever get people that pretend to be manly? They're not, but they pretend to be. And they might be manly, but they pretend to be more manly.

Like how they think men should be putting on a deep voice. Women love deep voices. See, I can't do a deep voice.

I just don't have a... Some people do have a naturally deep voice. I'm not, you know, there are people that have very like... That's going back a bit, isn't it? I was actually watching The Addams Family on TV the other day. It's just weird.

I used to love that show. The original show, not the movies. The movies are good as well, but I like the original shows.

Oh, yes. The Munsters as well. I just love both of them equally, really.

I think I prefer The Munsters. The Addams Family was really great as well, but The Munsters is my favourite. I mean, Herman.

Herman Munster, he just made me laugh. He was so clumsy. He's so big and clumsy.

Yeah, he'd laugh like that, wouldn't he? I think so. I'll have to revisit that one. I think that's how he used to laugh, Herman.

I was talking to someone about this yesterday, about people that try and put on being manly. They'll pretend to have a hard handshake, like a real strong handshake. And that's got nothing to do with being a man.

Being a man is just a genetic thing. That's all it is. It's just the physical thing, isn't it? How we are.

It's behaviour. That's what gets me. The amount of rubbish that parents, I've heard it over the years, but the amount of rubbish that kids get told by their parents about what a man is.

Don't do that. Girls do that. You've got to be a man.

Don't cry when you fall over. Why not? If I fall over and hurt myself, if I want to have a little cry, I'll have a cry. I remember thinking to myself, I didn't say it out loud because my dad, well, his opinion was, if you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about.

I've already got something to cry about. I've just fallen over. What do you mean you'll give me something to cry about? The other one I used to find weird was when he'd give me a spank, which wasn't very often, to be honest.

I was quite lucky. But, you know, he'd be about to give me the belt, or I don't know, whatever it was, not probably the belt, but like, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Well, don't do it then.

What do you mean, how is it going to hurt you more than it hurts me? It will do when I get to 18 and I'm bigger than you. Which never happened. Well, I did get to 18, but I was never bigger than him.

I'm still not bigger than him. Damn, my dad's a bit of a giant. He's just one of these big, naturally lumps.

He's not particularly tall. He's taller than me. Everyone's taller than me.

He's about 5'10", 5'11", or something, I think, when he was younger. He's now about 4'0". He's shrunk.

But, you know, he was 14 and a half stone when he was at school. So he would have been one of the biggest kids at school. He's just wide, strong.

And I didn't really take after him. It's weird, though, because I didn't, I never realized, you know, I think my growth was stunted because of childhood, I think. So I didn't really get to develop.

I was very late developing. And they say trauma and stuff can affect a baby's, a child's development, physical development, and brain as well. So I had to grow into my body.

So I think basically I had the head, the head was there, but the body was small. So it took a long time for the body to catch up with the head. Because I was born with this size head.

If you don't believe me, ask my mum. She's the one over there in the wheelchair. Honestly, she's, is still screaming.

No wonder she left me, blindly. And so, yeah, my body, I was, so I had such a strong neck. Because to carry this thing around on top of my shoulders, it's very strange.

But now, now, now, now, now, now, now, then I, it wasn't until I was really middle 20s that I started to put weight on, started to fill out. Even, yeah, I mean, I started going to the gym, didn't start going, but I went back to the gym when I was about eight, 26, 25. And I noticed I was doing supplements and taking, I wasn't juicing, taking juices, juicing, I wasn't juicing.

What's it called? Powdered milk, protein shakes, things like that. And I was putting some muscle on, which is good. And then, 99, 98, 99, I was at my, probably my physically best that I've ever been, physically.

Like, no fat, just muscle. That lasted for about a week. And then, then I started to really put weight on in 2000.

And now, I've actually been losing weight lately. So I'm about 15 and a half stone, still 16 stone. So I've lost some weight.

And I will continue. I think I need to be, I think I'll be okay at 15, 15 stones enough for me. I don't need to be 16 stone.

But I'd like to, if possible, just have more muscle and less fat. And I know it's a little bit of a, it's not as easy as I got older. I mean, there was a time when, in my early 20s, and I'd feel my tummy, and I'd, oh, getting a little bit fat here.

It's a little bit loose. It's a little bit flabby. And I'd do three sit ups, and that'd be, I'd be fine again.

It should be like instant. Oh, hard again, good. No, I didn't say hard again.

But you know what I mean, it'd be firmed up. But now, I mean, I can do, I can do 100 sit ups. I've got the muscles in my stomach, somewhere.

But my question is, why are they hiding? What's the purpose of them hiding from me? If they're there, why not show yourself? And that's the weird thing about it is, everybody's got muscles in their stomach. You kind of have to, in order to be able to stand up straight, and to be able to carry your upper body. We all have abdominal muscles.

They might not look, well, mine don't necessarily look like, well, muscles, to be honest. Maybe the muscles that you get in shells, that people eat. I'm trying to think, what else can I say that's sexist? You know, nothing I say is supposed to be taken seriously.

I hope you realise that. So it's just me mouthing off and just talking rubbish for an hour. That's all these recordings are really.

It's hopefully a friendly voice, a friendly voice for those that maybe like me, don't really get out much, don't get to speak to too many people. So yeah, well, that was a weird noise. I suppose I've been a bit, I've been thinking about things a bit lately, maybe, maybe too much.

Trying to figure out, what am I doing? Where am I going? Why am I doing it? Why am I going there? What's going to happen when I get there? And I haven't really come up with an answer. So I guess while I'm trying to figure the answer, I'll just continue what I'm doing. Yeah, pretty much, I suppose, in it.

So I've got, on YouTube, 1,280 subscribers. I actually lost one yesterday, but it got back up again. And I think once I start uploading the hypnosis stuff, people, I'll get more, more, more viewers on there.

It's very time consuming though. I mean, I've literally, if I can get 10 done in a day, that seems to be quite a good day. And 10 is not a lot.

Not when I've got 1000s to do. I sometimes feel like just dropping the mic on the floor and just like walk it off. I'm not doing, not doing any more YouTube, not bothering with the YouTube stuff anymore.

Just like, but I just want to get it done. Once it's done, it's up. It's over and done with and I can just move on.

We'll see. What do I need to, I think I've got stuff I need to buy. deodorant.

I've got enough toilet roll probably, hopefully till Wednesday. And depending on, well, you know, you know, depending on what, how much is needed. And I need washing up liquid.

I need some breakfast cereal. I've got enough milk. Probably last me until at least the end of the weekend.

What else do I need? I need mouthwash, Listerine. I always have Listerine when I brush my teeth. Listerine afterwards.

Nice. That was me using Listerine. Wasn't a very good sound effect really.

What else do I need to get? My neighbor said she went on a binge of chocolate cakes the other day. And she was, she just had a, an urge. I said, you sure you're not pregnant? Then we both laughed.

And she said she was going to bring them round because she, she bought way too much stuff, like chocolate eclairs and all this stuff. And she's going to bring some round for me. Then she thought she better not because of the old uh, potential diabeticness of me.

She said I'd be angry. Angry? I said I'd eat them. Blimey, you should have brought them round.

I love chocolate eclairs. Proper fresh cream. Oh, chocolate and that horseshoe pastry.

Oh, is it horseshoe or just shoe pastry? Anyway, love it. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. I really, really do love that.

Love chocolate eclairs. They're my favorites. Never been a big fan of doughnuts.

Funny enough, I don't know why, I love the smell of doughnuts and a warm doughnut that's nice but again has to be completely obliterated with sugar and way too much jam. I actually got in trouble I used to make doughnuts in the bakery when I was a kid and if I was good I was allowed to do the doughnuts so I'd fry them and then I'd sprinkle them basically put them in the thing and they'd be sprinkled with sugar.

The jam would be put in first and then sprinkled with sugar and then taken to the counter.

I got complaints not only did the customers were complaining it's apparently there was too much jam inside and people getting completely covered they were biting into it and it was going everywhere like really so I thought I was being generous because they say okay half a squeeze of jam I was putting like five squeezes trying to do it just sometimes they would explode and but I just try and do enough before it exploded because it's it and they'd say to me that the staff on the counter how come when you do doughnuts there's so much bigger than when anyone else doesn't I said it was a secret.

It was the jam they were like 85% jam seriously they were like baseball not baseball that's not good huh what's the big ball football like a football yeah not the ringed doughnuts and not the doughnuts I think you can get really nice doughnuts in some coffee places but I don't know if we do they sell them in this country I don't know you know what is coming to to the UK I always started like opening up Five Guys now I've only heard of Five Guys on movies and videos and stuff

and I've heard of what is it the Wendy's we used to have a Wendy's in London in the 80s so my oldest brother went there he was raving about it he loved it so there was a Wendy's I've never been in a Wendy's I don't think unless I went in there then I have been but I don't think I ever did Five Guys I don't really know what that is it's a burger isn't it a burger place so that's coming to a town near me I think what's the other one

and you get a square burger it's a square burger what oh I keep trying to think of the name of the place because in America there's lots of huge brands like a fast-food that we don't have here there's lots of some we do there's a lots like Mexican what's the Mexican one I don't think we have that here Dunkin Donuts I don't think we have Dunkin Donuts in the UK Dunkin Donuts UK maybe we do maybe we do Dunkin Donuts all day coffee and donut destination oh we do apparently don't

have them around here let's have a look what's it saying what is it saying come on why are you taking so long why are you taking so long with something I've never been asked ever apart from when I have been you know everything else outside of relationships I do get asked that very very slow walker apparently but why why would anyone have a problem with that what's it got to do with anyone else how fast or slow I walk how is that affecting another human I noticed how some of the

drivers who stop to let me cross the road with Vinnie there why are you walking so slowly well first of all I've got a little dog with me for every step I take he has to do about five steps and I'm not gonna run or rush across a road it's not gonna do it sorry and the amount of cars that won't stop this car early if he's yesterday slow down this but then then carried on get faster and slow down so what are you doing mate he's stopping or not and

in the end he's like starting like wave to himself thank you don't don't keep going expect me to cross over before you get to me so you can keep driving stop the car or don't stop the car simple as that I'm not rushing across the road I've got this little dog that tries to trip me up on a good day honestly he tries it constantly biting at my biting at my trousers when he shouldn't do like when we're crossing the road and there's a lot when there's a big lorry coming

he always this is a good time to try and trip up to me dad Oh Dunkin Donuts okay Dunkin of never cheesecake chill out bold expresso and sweet fruit and velvet whipped cream Wow and our menu doughnuts hot drinks cold drinks bakery what munchkins munchkins picky and proud introducing that Duncan reward app Duncan deliveries on demand delivered to your door well I don't think they can deliver to my door because I'll be coming all the way from London which should mean that yeah stores let's see where the stores are let's

see if there's any store never had a Dunkin Donuts ever never even been in one but I've heard about them because they're famous but not I wonder how long they've been in the UK but it's a UK and it could be Northern Ireland it could be Scotland it could be Wales doesn't necessarily mean it's in England because it's a UK could be Isle of Man, Isle of Wight,

the Falkland Islands that's all the UK and what's the other one Isle of Bergerac where but yeah the Isle of Bergerac okay here's the store locator Leicester Derby Nottingham blimey two places in Nottingham wonder why it's got two in Nottingham Mansfield which is near Nottingham Chesterfield Wembley and London worksop which again is I thought worksop was near Nottingham maybe not it's a worksop another one in Hammersmith London Baker Street London Earl's Court Road London Wardhouse it's all London isn't it?

Birkfield Precinct in Sheffield so there's three in Sheffield Rotherham one in Barnsley Doncaster Manchester Rochdale Berry Wigan Liverpool two in Liverpool and two in Bradford nearly at the end one in Hull one in Preston so there's nothing near me at the moment maybe there will be in a in a future mind you I heard something that some of these you know with deliveries they don't actually cook the food at them at the actual place that you ordered it from or they you know they've got an own like their own kitchen

where they cook stuff for deliveries and which sounds a bit weird to me I know that the local McDonald's does deliver you know they cook it there because I see the delivery people coming and getting the stuff I don't spend a lot of time in McDonald's but I have been in there in the past and you know for me though when I've eaten I like to just sit down and relax not get up and wait for a bus you know I mean it's more it's more relaxing to have something like

that when I'm at home but unfortunately it's a struggle to get stuff to still be hot one is that upload no it's nearly eight eight nine ten so so I will have ten of these videos uploaded to YouTube okay well that's it really I'm still talking for some reason I'm still talking so I'm gonna have a little rest then I'm gonna take the Finster out for a walk I said it quietly he's in he's actually left him in the bedroom I put the cover over him close the door and he

hasn't made a peep he's happy it's under the covers he's asleep which means I haven't had to worry about doing lots of editing for this and then I just did a big cough which means I have to edit that out so that's it for me I don't know if I've missed anything out I guess sorry I just if I just say sorry every day it makes it easier and it's just sorry for whatever and so I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye