(no music) #1134 - Directionless Chat - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (28th May 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can close your eyes. It's very hot in here right now because I've just done the washing, not the washing up but the clothes washing in the washing machine and so I'm hanging up the clothes and I'm trying to kind of dry them off a little bit.

I've got the window open but it's just you might say yeah but it's May, it's the end of May. What are you doing? Well trying to dry the clothes. I just told you trying to dry the clothes.

Have you got a washing line outside? Yeah but I don't I don't want my clothes to get stolen. Actually it's not that so much but there was someone that used to live around here and everyone called him Pants. I didn't know why like Pants.

That's just the name I had for him when I moved in here and he doesn't live here anymore. Pants. Why are you calling him Pants? I never questioned it really and then one day I did and they said oh that's because he had his, he used to put his underpants on the washing line and they had lots of skid marks on them.

It's like so from then on he was called Pants. So yeah I don't want to be the new Pants if you know what I mean. Not that well you know just yeah.

I think it's the whole thing you don't air your dirty laundry in public. Well why would you air your dirty laundry? Why would you air dirty laundry? Clean laundry? Oh so I just had a friend just pop in. It's Vinnie's uncle.

He hasn't seen him for a little while. He gets so excited. He hasn't seen him for about four or five weeks and I didn't know who was at the front door but I knew it was someone that he was excited to see because he was making noises he doesn't normally make.

It was like super excited. So I opened the door and Vinnie lost it. He's one of the people that Vinnie loves the most out of people that I know.

Apps don't you? You love your uncle? He's like now where's he gone? Where's he gone? Why isn't he here with me? Why didn't he take me with him? Stop it. That's rude. So what's new Pussycat? What's new Pussycat? Oh okay I won't sing the whole song.

So today oh not done a huge amount to be honest with you. Not done a huge amount. Did I tell you that? Oh yeah I told you yes I got cooked dinner.

Did I tell you that? Yeah I made a recording last night didn't I? So it's 8 26 p.m. I would have done this earlier but because I had a visitor it's a little bit late but not too late because I took I had some food we ate together and I had got something from the petrol station some sandwiches and had my medication which always makes me a little bit tired once I've taken it but it's all right so if I fall asleep that's why if it was 10 o'clock that'd be it I'd be going to bed but it's still early enough so it's okay it's okay so we were

talking about the boxing which is good I like talking about the boxing you might have noticed that I like talking about the boxing to someone that actually kind of gets what I'm talking about or likes boxing really yes that's it and I got someone I know that was talking about the fight of the weekend between Carol and Taylor Josh Taylor and he's going on about the winner and he was really happy that the person won who won and he said I'm so glad the Scottish man won I said he didn't

win yeah he did I said no he listened to it on the radio he didn't see it he doesn't feel he needs to actually watch the boxing in order to know what's going on because there's a commentary I said you can't know what's going on in boxing by listening well you can to a degree you can to a degree but you can't really I mean clearly if you don't even know who he didn't even know who was who in the fight and he was looking forward to it and he thought

his favorite fighter won I was like see to be fair he listens to I think he's got like multiple screens he listens on the radio to boxing he watches a football on a telly he watches a cricket on the laptop and on his tablet perhaps he's watching some other sport so he's kind of into every sport that there is so I'm not sure how how focused he is on any particular sport and football is his favorite sport so I can focus on one thing generally and you know what dawned on

me dawned on me is I think that some people might think that the way I talk when I'm doing these podcasts you know when perhaps occasionally I'll go off on a a very weird journey you know go from one subject to the next and end up somewhere else it only happens when I talk to myself and I can't stand it when people do it when I'm talking to them it's really I've got a friend who does this not not as much as I do but like in reality in real life

and I cannot follow him I can't follow and he's talking about people I've never met don't know and I really struggle it's like a hypnotic induction I cannot follow what he's saying because he's going off in different directions and I it's just very difficult he's a really lovely bloke it's hard to follow him when he's talking though you have to keep bringing him back to the subject and I had this last night with someone I know talking to them they kept going off said no can can we stick he talks

about boxing in order to lead me into football and I know nothing about football and I've I've got even less interest in football just it's just not something I'm particularly bothered about not I watched the the world cup if England get through you know to support England because I you know I'd love to see England win the world cup because I was raised to think that that was something that needed to happen again it's like I can't wait for the first man to land on the moon again you know things

like that so I we're talking about politics or something he moved into politics and so he knows I'm interested in politics I guess he was looking to move into football again I said like okay and we're talking about the the number of politicians that have left that are leaving their seats so the an election has been called I think it's the 4th of July it's not the election isn't called the 4th of July but it's it's being called for that date which is just over four weeks away I guess now

maybe five weeks and I was saying to him yeah but there's like 77 if not more MPs in the Conservative Party who are currently in charge of government who are leaving their posts who are literally quitting stopping being MPs when the election comes around so people will be voting for someone they don't even know in their different constituencies 77 different constituencies which must range must be in the millions of people how many people does 77 constituencies constituencies cover UK I wonder if it's going to Parliamentary Constituencies I don't know I

don't know so basically what it is the United Kingdom is currently divided into 650 parliamentary constituencies and so there has to be 650 MPs elected at all times England's 543 Scotland's 57 Wales is 32 Northern Ireland is 18 so the 600 and so the 543 so let's say 650 so when there's an election it's basically just divided by that whoever gets in the most numbers so you have to basically no one's ever generally not going to get half of that because there's more than two parties but the average number of

those each consistency should now have said is about 73 000 so what's 77 times 73 000 I can work that out now I know these are tiny numbers if you live in big countries 73 000 times by 77 it's over five and a half million people which is it's a lot of people actually like nearly 10 of the of the entire you well I don't know probably 10 of the population but then we've got to bear in mind a lot of them were too young to vote so having seven yeah

it's gonna make a big difference anyway and I said to him how many because I'm reading this off the thing he said how many parliamentary constituents are there do they have to be and he's saying oh never mind that and he wanted to talk about something I said no no no no how because that's what we're talking about he said no but I want to talk about something else now what do you want to talk about well the manager got sacked from Chelsea or whatever like no no can we get

back to the to the subject please please I begged him please is this hard I'd so in real life I struggle to be around people like me when I do these podcasts because in reality I'm I think if I'm messing around having a joke and laugh just you know it's not a serious conversation I can go off I guess in different directions but so with the other person as well and I'll follow their lead not their lead but we just head off different places but if you're talking about something that's

you know semi serious you know it's like like the coming election then I kind of like I want to stay with the subject and I struggle to follow you know someone's basically doing exactly what I do now going off and talking about people that I've never met and then talking about their friends and then talking about where they used to live you know near the big tree by the pond and how they once got trapped in a telephone booth but it wasn't the red ones it was the other ones before

the red ones and their mother-in-law once once climbed a really high mountain in Scotland and the reason she did that was because her best friend had an illness and she wanted to raise money for that illness and but then her best friend recovered and that was really good and her best friend because she's quite young she went on to be a star in like movies and well she was in a movie she was a like you know she wasn't the star but she was in movies and then and then she

met someone she got married and he was also an actor but he wasn't a big actor he was just like a jobbing actor but he earned a earn a living doing it and I think he had to subsidize it by doing a paper round or something and he and they went out to a party together which was like an award ceremony and they were invited because he was very close to a relatively well-known actor because they both went to drama school together and the drama teacher was there now the drama

teacher was known by everybody because this drama teacher was a lady called Ethel and she trained some of the biggest names in the industry over a 50 year period so she knew people that hadn't made it and people that are really famous so she was everyone knew who she was and there was a special award just for her at this award ceremony and when they were there Ethel was there and she got a lady came around you know people with the canopies and Ethel didn't want a canopy because she didn't

like canopies she didn't like the the prawns that were on them and the Joyce who was one of the the ladies that was serving the food out she said well I'm happy to make you a cheese sandwich and so Ethel said okay are you sure he said yeah it's fine but then Jonathan comes over now he's in charge of the catering it's his catering company so when he's there he's not happy with this situation he doesn't know who Ethel is but he knows that Joyce likes to this opportunity to skive

you know it's kind of like a half-hearted helping others but actually what she really wanted to do was spend some time in the kitchen eating some food you know having stuff in her face basically and just having a break sometimes she'd break dance because that's what she did in the in her spare time she was much really into head spins and Jonathan knew this and the reason he knew it is because he'd been told by a few of the other members of the staff because no one realized but Jonathan was

actually dating Daisy who was another member of staff but no one knew they were dating it wasn't serious but Daisy was kind of there's the initial attraction you know when you meet someone you think oh I like this person like being with them yeah it's not and you kind of you start almost looking forward to going to work and that's a nice feeling to be honest if you if you didn't before you know if you didn't particularly care so much for the job you were doing and now you're looking forward

to going to work you're thinking about going to work the day before you go you're going to bed at night thinking oh I want to see Jonathan tomorrow I wonder if he'll be wearing that hat and maybe he was thinking the same way I'll be seeing Daisy tomorrow I wonder if she's going to be wearing them shoes and so it's that that kind of common common ground although Jonathan it was his business so he quite I think he enjoyed going to work anyway but he always had this thing because his

mum said to him Jonathan's mum said and this was quite early in when he started the business because he'd worked in catering for quite a few years working for other people and it was it was actually a business owned by his auntie so it's his mum's sister and his is basically two of the sisters two of his mum's sisters had this catering company and Jonathan used to work there when he was at school like outside of school weekends and sometimes early in the morning because at that time there's more sandwiches

and taking things to industrial estates mines and factories things like that because there was no kiosk machines at that time and not all of those places had canteens although some did and there's one place particularly it was a bakery and it had a canteen and but what they did is they they served food like you know cooked food during the day so in the morning there was cooked food lunchtime there's cooked food and then they closed at like three o'clock and then there was no food at all so everyone that

was on the later shift had to have sandwiches so if you was on the day shift you were fine but if you was on the night shift you had to take your own food in or you could get sandwiches now they had someone selling the sandwiches like a part-timer came in and had all the sandwiches on the thing you know like on the side and then sell them there'd be i think they'd have sausage rolls sandwiches and there'd be like chocolate bars and stuff like that and they had a cough

no i think they i think they had a coffee machine i think but what uh what jonathan used to do with his two aunties is they used to deliver there in the morning even though they weren't you know they weren't selling in the morning but they deliver in the morning and they just put it into the fridge for the eve you know for the late afternoon and jonathan remembered that particularly because he was he wasn't a kid kid he was like probably 15 because he planned to go to university so

he'd worked there he did a little bit probably from the age of 14 until i think about 18 when he went to university so it was just when and when when and when when and where or whatever you know whenever they needed him more weekends to be fair but you know sometimes during the week as well there'd be a do where there'd be stuff needed for an evening like a wedding occasionally they started to branch out a little bit and do buffets and things for weddings and funerals and bar mitzvahs

whatever they're called and um baby showers and um i don't know just things like that naming parties baby naming parties and uh and summers you know it's just that kind of stuff and they he he quite enjoyed that but he had a thing for one of the ladies that used to host the ann summers her name was brenda now she was a much older lady than him because you know he was only about 18 i think he just turned 18 at that time and for some reason they wouldn't let him

do the ann summers parties until he was 18 he didn't really understand why that was until the first time he did it so brenda really i mean she was really old but she wasn't she was probably only about 25 but he you know to him that seemed quite old but he he really liked her and he had this for some reason he had this fantasy that when he finished university he would be able to come back and you know be with her and have a relationship and get married because he

did ask her out well he went he stood by her and said it's a bit cold today isn't it and she said yeah and then he walked off that that was as far as he got with her so it wasn't probably the most wasn't the the longest relationship he'd ever had to be honest but he gave it a go you know he didn't really have the the chat up skills that he learned in future life i mean once he was in his 30s he was much better than that he used

to walk up to someone see someone he liked walk up to and say uh yeah these trousers make my knees itch actually that's not a good example um no no his chat up lines never got any better no terrible chat up lines but luckily yeah i just yeah that wasn't it i was gonna say another chat up line he used he went walked up to a lady in a nightclub once and said uh i have a tent in my garden and that that was it there was nothing after that i

mean i guess the thing is he used to rehearse in the mirror before going out so it wasn't like he was just saying it off the top of his head he actually thought about these chat up lines and for some reason they didn't work you know it's like it just it's very strange my dad had a mole on his back he has a mole on his back my dad why are you telling me i thought maybe you'd like to kiss me now it's you know didn't quite work out anyway as

he got older you know just like anything he met people that liked him he liked them and he it saw it suited him better when he was in his own environment when he was when he had his own business he could just be himself so if he met someone that liked him they liked him for him not all the money he had or the expensive car that he drove so you know this he you know he was liked for for him so but this brenda she had much more to her

than the whole kind of doing ann summers parties she was the first person to do them now it's often thought that ann summers was the first person to hold ann summers parties no it was brenda summers ah see brenda summers so brenda summers was ann summers twin but no one knew so they used to take turns being ann summers because sometimes ann was just like oh if i have to see another one of those vibrating things and brenda said well i've got an idea and ann said what brenda and brenda

said why did you say my name ann said i don't know i mean we literally are the only two people in the room there's no reason for me to say your name is a ever just oi is if i need to get your attention i just speak or if you need to get my attention you say please mom can i ask you a question brenda laughed no and actually that was kind of how ann was a little bit stuck up anyway brenda says you know what ann she said what's that

brenda she said well ann why don't i replace you ann said why did you take such a long pause between those two words between i and replace you it's like you didn't know what you were going to say next and brenda said maybe i didn't she said but yeah but you just said i've got this great idea why would you say you've got a great idea if you don't know what the great idea is and brenda said look will you just let me tell you what the idea is without picking

apart every single linguistic nuance of this particular conversation ann was impressed with that sentence structure so she said okay then bren that's what she used to call her she's called bren because brenda's just a bit too long isn't it brenda bren bren's easier ann that was a bit harder ah didn't really work ah but bren but ah or you could shorten ann because a n n e and just say the first three letters but still ann so you missed out the last two letters but it's still the same it was

they used to annoy brenda because she wanted to well i think she was a little bit jealous of ann's success because she kind of figured well we're basically we're identical we sound the same we look the same we got the same name apart from the first name and why can't i just be her why can't i get the same credit that she gets why is it always all ann summers this and ann summers that isn't she wonderful she's the creator of this new project something that you know kind of goes

against society but it's now accepted by society you know opening up women's lives to something new you know and all the stuff connected to the ann summers product and brenda didn't like that she thought why can't it be called brenda summers or brenda summers because ultimately it's still n still ends with n summers ann summers brenda summers although ann summers was with an e on the end but you know so she had a little bit of a goose to just a bit of a goose to squeeze with this one so

but even even though you know all those things that went through her mind she also used to think a lot about chess she didn't know why i mean she did go to see a therapist was it like a counselor psychotherapist or something her sister ann paid for it and she said to this she basically said to the therapist i need your help because the therapist said like well why are you here well i have an appointment that wasn't a good start really was it being a little bit here to this

to the therapist i had an appointment what do you think i'm here what do you think i'm here to learn to knit the therapist said well no but if you want to learn to knit i do i do that in my spare time she said really i said yeah yeah i teach knitting i'm also a horse rider i'm multiple do lots of different things yeah she said no no no but i'm here for the therapy she said oh good good good he said well how can i help she said well

brenda said i just got a thing about chess what the board game she said what other chess do you know of she said you don't have to really be rude to me i mean it doesn't matter you can be but you you're paying anyway regardless you don't like if we're going to be seeing each other regularly it makes sense well and start off nicely and brenda said okay sorry because that's the thing about brenda i didn't mention she kept being rude she couldn't stop it it's like she's very defensive there's

always that whole thing is like um what was it oh she fell over once she fell over in the road tripped over a pay the pavement and so i said are you okay to uh like offering help and brenda's reply was you saying i'm fat like what it was always a defensive mechanism kicked in for no reason that was a weird noise something just clicked i'm not happy about it i don't know what it was that was very strange what just clicked there's no reason for anything to click consider i'm

here vinny's fast asleep aren't you you're fast asleep he does get bored when he listens to me and brenda said who are you talking to and mrs food said oh i was just talking to my dog vinny she said yeah why have you got a dog in here mrs food said well you are you allergic she said no i was just curious she said are you sure you don't mind um you know if you don't i can i can always put vinny into the other room and brenda said you said

i'm tall you sound too tall she said no i'm not saying you're too tall what's wrong with my dress i didn't say anything about your dress it was it got a little bit tedious after a while and mrs food said okay let's let's focus on the chess so you got you got an issue what kind of issue is it she said well i can't stop thinking about it can't stop thinking about chess she said sir how long have you been playing chess for then she said no that's the thing i

don't i don't play chess huh you don't play chess no i never played it well when did you learn to play it then nope never played it don't even know how to play it in fact i don't even know how to spell it well it's c-h-e-s-s how's that supposed to help me okay fair enough you're saying i can't count you're saying no i can't but i can't count to 10 no yes no anyway see you got you can't stop thinking about something that you don't do yeah i feel like i'm

a teenage boy constantly thinking about something i've never done before and it's just on my head in my mind all the time never done it so you want to play chess then no that's the thing i don't want to do it well it's nothing like being a teenage boy then is it no but the you know the kind of constant thinking about it but i don't want to play chess i don't know anything about chess i don't want to play chess i don't i'm no interest in learning to play chess

i just not one part of me has any inclination to be involved in that particular game and mrs fruit said it's quite a popular game these days and brenner said really could you teach me oh dear and friend um mrs fruit said um no i don't know how to play myself and brenda said why are you teasing me then why would you do that you know that i'm obsessed with chess all i've ever wanted in my whole life is to learn to play chess and now as i get close to

someone i'm thinking i can eventually finally learn to play the game i've always wanted to play you say no you don't know how to play it mrs fruit said uh but you said you had no interest in playing chess said are you calling me a liar you're saying that i lie is that what you're saying she said no no but that's what you said i'm just repeating back what you said to me no what i said to you just then was that i'd like to be traveling hot air balloons high

above the ground and drop strawberries into the ocean you didn't say that what are you talking about you didn't say that you're calling me a liar like what this is going silly now you're calling me silly i said no i'm just this you never mentioned hot hot air balloons i know i never know but you just mentioned them now no i didn't you literally just talked about being in a hot air balloon dropping something into the ocean why would i get into a hot air balloon to drop something into the

ocean when i can just walk up to the sea and just drop stuff in there what would be the point of getting to a hot air balloon brenda i don't know i don't know why is why are you calling me by my name i'm the only one here i have this conversation with my sister all the time we're in the same room we don't have to say each other's names you know who i am i know who you are we don't need to say their name if i say something chances

are i'm not talking to your goldfish i'm talking to you you could be talking to my dog whoa that's a good point but no i won't be i was talking to my dog earlier did you think when i said to vinny oh you're okay vinny did you think i was talking to you brenda did you no why is that because you were talking to him like a dog if you started saying oh brenda you're okay brenda oh good boy brenda good boy oh good boy brenda you want a treat you

want a treat brenda yeah yeah let's see if he looked up you know that'd be different well i wouldn't do that would i you might do mrs frude by the way it's not it's not pronounced frude it's fraud okay mrs frude why are you trying to me up i'm not mrs frude look you're you're paying to be here it's a 50 minute session we've already used up a fair bit of time and i don't really really feel we've got very far why are you making those weird noises mrs frude that

hmm what's all that about i didn't make any noises like that yeah you did you just you did you were like stopping in between sentences and going it was very disconcerting i didn't know where to look i'm just glad you put your clothes back on what are you talking about i never took my clothes off you did inside my mind oh who's making weird noises now i was just copying you were you yes i was okay ah this is hard and so what you wanted to know about so you keep

thinking about chess chess oh yeah chess yeah i do i think about chess a lot how long has this happened for well the first time i thought about chess was about five years ago and i was walking down the street and i met this man met this man and he was wearing a hat and he came up to me and he said uh do you like chess and when i didn't respond he just walked away and ever since that moment i've just been thinking about chess not all the time i

know i said i constantly think about it but i do think about it a lot i don't know why and it's it's bugging me mrs fruit said uh okay well i'm glad that you managed to open up excuse me no you know open up like how you're feeling and stuff um but we'll have to continue this next week well that wasn't a whole 50 minutes no the the first session is a lot shorter because it's really kind of get to know each other session and if you choose to continue that's

basically this is this this moment now really about how you feel about coming back and usually we kind of figure out based on what you said whatever the issue is how many sessions you're going to need and they they range from usually six sessions to about sometimes up to 24 sessions and so you know that's where we kind of like a negotiation now about how many sessions you you may need and brenda said how many do i need she said five years five years worth really said yeah five at least

to start with anyway so okay you said that five years quite quickly what do you mean it's almost like you prepared that you're like going quite slowly with the um are we going to negotiate that was quite counseling the way you said that it's almost like it's almost got professional background connected to that story it's not a story is that this is really happening yeah but you know what i mean if it was like narrated let's say for example just as an example it's almost like you you planned out that

ending of saying five years after saying between six months six weeks and 24 weeks and mrs frude said i don't really know what you're talking about and brenda said i think you do she said i don't i genuinely don't i think you do i'm not really sure where you're coming from you say my hair is too long no i didn't say anything about your hair what you want what she said nothing just just okay well what do you want to know then well i just want to know if you if

you want to come back for you know to maybe we start off maybe not for five years maybe we'll just see how it goes so you come back next week and then go from there what do you think now brenda she wanted to think about it she said well it's quite a big decision decision sometimes she said decision like use a z instead of a c decision because she felt it made her seem more intelligent when it really didn't i think i need a little bit of time just to think

it through is there any chance that i can maybe just have five minutes in the hallway and then i can come back and tell you like how what i think and mrs frude said yeah that's fine go on then so she said have you got any lollipops said what well i quite like a lollipop i was wondering if you got a lollipop i can have no i don't have a lollipop that's okay it's fine i said um why why why would you think i'd got that why would you think that

i would have a lollipop you saying i can't drive you mentioned driving oh sorry okay just go go outside it's fine go into a hallway and give me a knock when you when you've decided i haven't got another client for an hour so it's fine and brenda said oh okay and she skipped and left went out the door oh mrs frude she took her hat off and she undid the back of her bask she's just like this is it she took her flippers off her feet it's like just to relax

it's like this is this is i don't know if i want to do this job anymore she thought to herself and as she was peeling off the uh the fake transfer from her forehead the fake tattoo from her forehead she's peeling it off and she said uh to her dog vinnie very popular name said you know what you know what then i don't know if i want to do this anymore and then he said well mum i agree i mean i don't know what's going on then i think maybe maybe

you do need to take a break and she said yeah i mean the fact i can hear you talking mrs frude oh it made a weird noise of her tummy her real name is actually gladys so gladys thought to herself yeah i'm done with this i don't want to do this anymore i trained all them years got into debt training and worked for nothing for a few more years after training to get the experience and then worked for a charity for a few more years and then became self-employed laid out

all this money for this place to rent and just like things seem to be going so well and then this brenda comes in brenda summers and i'm just rethinking the whole thing so no that's it so she decided to go out through the fire escape and go downstairs the back way and leave so gladys is she's gone she's walked downstairs and she wonders i mean she goes back at one point and thought you know what if i'm going to leave this office and never come back i'm going to take my

dog with me so she picked up vinnie and took him down with her then she went back upstairs again she said oh i want the pencil sharpener i'm having that pencil sharpener it was one of those old-fashioned ones that attached to the to the desk and you could just push down on it and like turn it around she just like it just it was cathartic she enjoyed it she really enjoyed using it didn't need to use it she didn't even have any pencils but she just enjoyed it it was nice

it was like a little knickknack gizmo that gave her pleasure and then she knew that the idea of a little knickknack thing that you know that gave gave someone pleasure is not something that brenda would ever be able to understand brenda summers twin sister to hans summers yeah that's that's where i'm going so she said okay that's it and she's out of there didn't tell brenda just left as she gets home she walks home she stops has a coffee on the way back and as she's walking home she's thinking what

should i do and vinnie said to her well what have you always wanted to do i mean the world is your albatross just what what do you want to do where would you where do you want to go is there anything that you've always wanted to achieve she said well quite like the idea of jumping out of a plane and then he said no no come on you know there's there's so much to live for she said no no no i mean with a with a what's it parachute and he

loved they both laughed uh vinnie actually rolled around for a little bit and she thought it got his laugh a lot but it wasn't it was actually a a little bit of remains of a dead animal he was rubbing his coat over it for some reason so weird things dogs do it's not weird to us though is it said vinnie like okay and she started thinking well vinnie's got a point what would i like to do i'd like to do that but i'd like to jump out of a plane with

a parachute but it's usually something people do as kind of a charity event or like a a way to gain some kind of improved self-esteem to do something that is seemingly impossible and to overcome the fear of doing that can open you up potentially to more uh more things in life that you may attempt to do so you know so she did think about it but it wasn't necessarily going to be a life-changing event for her it might be interesting enjoyable but she was more interested in something that was gonna

take up all her attention and something she could give her energy to something that she could really grab hold of with both legs you know and she thought about it long and hard and she got home and she was thinking about it again and she was sitting there watching telly thinking about it she turned tv off she was thinking about it she had a cup of tea she had something to eat still thinking about it couldn't really think of anything and then she thought well i know what i'll do i've

got a piece of paper and a pencil next to my desk like she had a little like not desk uh i don't know like a little cabinet thing next to her bed and she had pencils there didn't have any in her office but she so she used to take her pencils from home sharpen them and then bring them home again that was kind of like her hobby and but now she's got the pencil sharpener at home but the thing is you know she didn't really want to do it at home

that's the thing she looked forward to most of all going to work and sharpening her pencils with her pencil sharpener in her office the idea of doing it at home would just be it's almost like i don't know i mean it's the whole reason to visit a neighbor is so you can use their toilet so you don't have to mess up your own toilet isn't it and that's the reason you you know you don't have your own bathroom and use it you go to a neighbor's and use it that's that

was her thinking that's how she thought so she she thought well i'll put a piece of paper and a pencil you chose her third favorite pencil do you want to choose a favorite pencil because that was in a glass cabinet no one touched that that was her pride and joy her second favorite pencil was it wasn't in a it wasn't in a cabinet with lights and like a little story a little poem next to it you're telling the story of the pencil but she did it was kind of on a

little display set but a third favorite one she was okay to have that and use it occasionally she wouldn't normally use it that often but she thought well as this is a special occasion and i'm trying to think of think of something that i can actually put my energy into and something that might change my life for the better so you know something new something exciting so she she put it onto the bedside cabinet that's what i was trying to think of earlier instead of a desk she did have a

desk it was in the corner of the room but it wasn't next to her bed i mean she she had all kinds of things in her bedroom she uh she had a coat rack she had this huge what was a huge but it's quite a big a brass elephant with a monkey sitting on top and every time there was movement in the room it starts shaking going like that any kind of movement and it would set it off it was like some mechanical thing she didn't have that next to a

bed because she wasn't weird anyway she she had she put the piece of paper and the pencil next to the bed on the bedside cabinet there used to be a light on there but there isn't anymore and she changed it to having a light attached to the wall because she realized that it's all right to have a light on the other side but when you're reading you really need the light above your head not not necessarily like in the middle of the room but like ideally just above your head shining

on the book and that seemed to be the best way to do it that way she didn't have to lay sideways in the bed you know on her back trying to read the book which is what she used to do which uh used to annoy her husband a little bit so she she was laying in bed decided to go to bed go to sleep thinking well what she knew about psychology and uh something about sometimes when we go to sleep we have ideas we have a good idea comes up and

we might think of it and then we just like let it go go back to sleep she was determined to if an idea came up i mean she was going to carry this piece of paper around with her wherever she went but if a good idea came up she was going to write it down and then go back to sleep and then look at it the next day well it worked it only worked it did it worked and she woke up about three hours later jumped out of bed and wrote

that word down on a piece of paper that changed her life forever chess she couldn't figure why why why do i suddenly feel interested in chess i want to be a professional chess player and she couldn't for the for the life of her think why had no idea just wanted to just become she want to play chess she'd never played she never played it before and she she woke her husband up and said harold he said oh he said she said uh do you know how to play chess he said

yes yes i do what what time is it she said it's three o'clock in the morning so do you know how to play chess i just just told you i do you teach me oh no go away and she thought well okay he's just being he's a tired i'm sure he's just he's half asleep doesn't even know what he's saying so next morning at breakfast she says uh harold do you want to play do you want to teach me how to play chess and he said i told you last night

no and she said i thought you were just grumpy because you was asleep he said i was grumpy and now i'm awake i'm still grumpy is what i'm saying but you only wait for a little while yeah but it's a little while too long this conversation isn't very good is it no is there any chance yeah it's like one word answers it was very difficult to really have a conversation with him and she said so you won't teach me to play chess he said no she said uh do you know

anyone that knows how to play chess he said yes is there anyone that you could recommend that would teach me no not one person that you know that plays chess will be able to teach me they'd be able to teach me yes they'd be able to teach you i've got a whole sentence well will they no well would they want are you saying they wouldn't want to teach me he said no they probably would want to teach you but will they he said no why not because i'll tell them not

to what it's supposed to be my husband you're supposed to let you're supposed to let me sleep she said that was a bit mumbled wasn't it would have been better if you'd said it all in one sentence without stuttering he said yeah i didn't get much sleep last night so i'm a little bit frazzled plus the eggs were overcooked overcooked how could it be overcooked it was scrambled egg you can't overcook scrambled egg scrambled egg i thought was dog sick that's wrong i thought vinny is thrown up on the plate

that's a bit rude you're rude but anyway they um that's how she got into chess and she became the greatest female chess player ever and that was what that movie was made of the the Netflix tv show was made about her and yeah the rest is history really so that's the whole story but the point is it's that kind of story that i struggle with if my friend does it he starts going off and on to one thing and into another thing and before i know it i'm just don't know

where i am i'm lost and i'm half asleep trying to follow him trying to follow the direction of the story because it keeps jumping to different people and into different scenarios and you know like i don't even remember the first person that was in the story and now we're talking about chess you know it just gets gets silly so that's so i'm like i'm not like that in real life that's what i was trying to point out that i don't do that i like to be concise i like to be

just like what are you trying to say just what is it listen what is it that you're trying to say um i was watching this YouTube video and i was talking about a certain way of talking that some people talk like growling talk like i talk like this in the end it's like fake talking but people some celebrities do it and apparently some young people started doing it and talking like that and it's like really kind of growly talk like yeah and there's this whole video on it like oh yeah

yeah this whole video and it was i was quite interested in what the voice does when the vocal cords it's a very different kind of way of talking and it reminds me more of there's a program called episodes and the receptionist in that i didn't realize she was english but she was american in the show it had joey from from friends on there he was playing himself in in the show it's good show it's funny and this this lady she plays a receptionist and she talks like that yeah yeah yeah

it's like everything's really low and gravelly uh with very little kind of not much in a way of um feeling maybe yeah yeah yeah it's kind of like i don't i don't necessarily follow the celebrities in the world i mean i've never really been that into celebrity i used to read newspapers and what's the news i kind of knew roughly what was going on in the music business in the uk anyway not hugely but i knew like the top 40 and i was never so much into indie bands apart from

the ones that were famous or popular so i'm can't very much like a popular popularist perhaps but nowadays you know i'm well behind on who's in the charts and i think billie eilish is in the charts like i think she's got every every one of her singles in the on her new album is in the top of the charts they were kind of all all in the top 10 or whatever or top 20 something like that so i'm amazed i follow billie eilish just just out of interest really online and

nothing weird just just i've liked her since her first album i like that and then she's her following fanatical i know fan the word fan comes from fanatics but it's not usually doesn't usually mean fanatics you know i'm a fan of that person doesn't usually mean i'm fanatical but there are i sometimes read i don't do much but occasionally i read the posts when she puts a post out billy is some i call her billy because you know we're quite close and i read some of the comments and i'm just

like wow this is extreme extreme fanaticism i don't suppose you really get mild fanaticism do you really i suppose it's in itself is quite extreme and these these i can only imagine her kids like literally all they can think about is when is the the new album being released and that's all they can think about nothing else wow i can't even imagine being like that i can't just i don't think i've ever been that way about anything in my life it must be weird to be that excited about something especially

over an album i mean i've been kind of excited about albums you know looking forward to like bad when it came out michael jackson's album yeah anyway i'm gonna go because vinnie started to bark so remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye it's weird he's always quiet when i say that bit maybe it's because he knows it's the end of the recording now he's he's got me back he's he's he's getting his daddy back i'm no longer talking to someone that's not there maybe he's worried about me yeah maybe anyway see you later bye bye bye