(no music) #1122 - Vinnie saved my neighbour - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (15th May 2024)

Hello, I heard I'm going to sneeze. Am I going to sneeze? I don't know. Oh dear.

Well, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And I actually started this recording 38 minutes ago. And I was just getting ready, probably a couple of minutes in, and I heard what Vinnie started. He started seeming to be a little bit distressed that some sound he was hearing.

I didn't know what it was. Like, I was like, come on, there wasn't there wasn't anyone banging and there was no shouting, there was no barking or anything like that outside. But there was the sound of a door, a door handle being turned.

It wasn't my door handle, but it was a door handle. And like someone was trying to get into one of the flats, like, you know, kept putting the door handle in and pushing and stuff. So I think, okay, we'll go.

Vinnie was like, come on, we've got to see what it is. Come on, Dad. In the end, I thought, oh, okay, let's go and see what it is.

Because if it is someone breaking in, Vinnie will scare them off. So I go out, tiptoe, I've got them in front of me so that they can see him and they'll get scared, you know, if it's a burglar. And I can't see anyone.

So I'm saying hello. And then it's the man opposite me, his door handle is moving. So I knock on the door.

And he said, Who is it? Okay. I said, it's me. Juicy JJ.

He said, Hello, Juicy JJ. What do you want? Well, are you okay? That's what I want to know if you're all right. He said, I can't get out.

So what do you mean you can't get out? He said, I can't open the door. That's I wasn't being sarcastic when I said, if you tried unlocking it, I might have said if you tried unlocking it, which is a bit silly, because obviously he's Anyway, he said, Oh, no. And he did.

And he got out. It's great. That's the end of the story.

No. And he couldn't get out. What the lock wasn't working.

He put the he passed me the keys through the letterbox. I tried to open wasn't happening. Weird, weird keys, like zigzag ID keys, not like the keys that we've got on the other doors.

So that's a bit strange. In itself. So I said to him, Look, we got you can't just stay in there forever.

And you can you can have to come out sometime to go to the toilet. And he said, I've got a bathroom. I said, Oh, yeah.

So I said, Well, anyway, you can't, you can't be locked in your flat. So I said, We need to call the council. So I called I called the council, got through to the council, and I said, This is gonna, this is gonna lady answer this, this is gonna be a very strange, very strange thing.

And she said, Well, she got excited. I think like something a bit strange. It's nice, isn't it? Brighten up your day.

And she said, Does it involve chocolate eggs? I said, No. Does it involve reptiles in chimneys? I said, No, no, it's nothing like that. She said, handcuffs.

I said, No, it's about a door. She said, a door. I said, Yeah, my neighbour is locked in.

She can't see he can't get out of the door. He can't he said, if she's tried to unlock it. I said, That's a good idea.

Why don't I shout through the letterbox and say, Listen, mate, if you tried unlocking the door, maybe that will help. I said, No. She said, There's no reason to be sarcastic, sir.

I said, I'm sorry. She said, You've got a long day. I said, Yeah.

She said, It sounds like you just got up from a nap. I said, You know, I have. I've been I did have a nap.

And because what I find is I have a light nap in the afternoon because and she cut through me. She cut and she said, Is it because you feel more awake? So for when you do podcasts? I said, Yeah. I said, Yeah.

I said, You understand? She said, I know. I'm all seeing or hearing. At that point, I got a bit freaked out, to be honest with you.

I thought, Oh, no, man, one of my delusions again. And she said, No, you're not. I said, But I didn't say that out loud.

She said, I know I can read your mind. And then she said, Anyway, you got you through to the wrong department. I said, Well, who did the phone? She said, McDonald's.

I said, Oh, damn. So she gave me the said, I got you got to call it out of hours. And I've called the electrical plumbing department or whatever.

So I called him again. I said, Thank you very much for your help, even though you haven't been any help. But it wasn't your fault.

You haven't been any help because you weren't able to help this situation. Because that's not your department. She said, That was a long sentence.

You could have just said, Thank you. I said, Well, I was trying to, but I don't know how to explain it, really. She said, Oh, I think I know what you're doing.

I said, What? She said, You're trying to add more words to your vocabulary, aren't you? You're trying to say more in a sentence in the hope that maybe it will improve your memory, your vocabulary, and that part of your brain that's the language part, maybe that'll keep you maybe mentally healthier for longer. And I said, No, no, I was just, just trying to show off that I know more than four words.

She said, Well, that is impressive.

Most people I talk to only know three words. I said, Is that true? And she said, No, I'm just going along with you. You're very weird.

I said, You're weird. And well, we're going out for a meal next week on Saturday night. Well, it was gonna be Saturday night.

Then I remember it was boxing. So I called her back and said, I know, I know we hit it off. But can you make it Sunday? Because more important things have come up.

She said, Is it a boxing? I said, Yeah. She said, Well, you know, we could always watch it yours afterwards. I said, No, no, no, no.

Unless you're going to pay half. If you pay half towards the boxing, then we can watch it here. And you'll have to leave straight afterwards and get here literally just as the final fights on.

I don't want to spend the whole night watching all the undercard with someone else. I'd like to have that time to myself. She said, I completely understand.

I'm really looking forward to our date on Sunday. I said, That's good. So I think it's love.

Anyway, I called back and got through to the correct department. This is all true. Well, it's, it's, it's around truth.

My friend, as we speak, is locked in his flat. And so I spent, I came back in at 38 minutes on the clock of recording. So I've been out there for about 30, 35 minutes.

I phoned the council, got through to the right place. I said my neighbor, is locked in. He can't open his front door.

Has he tried unlocking it? I think he did actually ask that as he unlocked it from the inside. I realized maybe they have to ask that. But you know, Hmm.

And he said, How do you know? Yeah, the first he said, How do you know he can't get out? I said, because he told me, Do you think I'm just in my, in my flat and I've got premonition, you know, premonition that my neighbor can't get in his flat. So I'll call the council. I'm not, I'm not going to waste people's time.

Although that is what I do generally with these recordings, I guess. But let's, let's, let's bypass that one. And he said, Who are you talking to? I said, Look, no, I'm doing the podcast.

He said, You're not still doing that, are you? I said, Yeah. So I'm doing a podcast as I'm talking to you. So I'm talking about you and the conversation we're having during the podcast that I record after the event.

And therefore, not the whole, not everything I say is going to be our conversation. I'll be, you know, kind of narrating or commenting on the conversation as I go along. And he said, It's a little bit confusing for your listeners.

And you know what, for the first time in ages, I did some press ups. I don't know why I just felt this is the right time. You know, it's just like it dawned on me, maybe I need to do more exercise.

And he brought me back to the conversation. He said, like, start doing press ups in the middle of a description of a conversation that you're having with the council about a man locked inside his own flat is a little bit weird. And you've gone off in a little bit of a tangent there.

Why why press ups? Why not sit ups? And then we both laughed, because we both remember what my looks like. sit ups is not really an option these days. I have to hold my breath.

When I do my shoelaces up, which again is not relevant to the front door not opening, I guess. But it's relevant to my life. And I don't think it's fair to just dismiss the things that are affecting me as well.

You know, I'm also a worthwhile person. I'm also worthy of something. So, you know, he said to me, he said, Who are you? I said, What do you mean? Who am I? He said, Who are you? What? Why are you phoning the council? Why are you phoning us? Why isn't he phoning us? I said, because I'm phoning you.

So why didn't he phone us? I said, he's, he's in his early 80s. He's an elderly man living on his own. I don't know if he's okay.

He's and he said, Have you spoken to him? I said, Yes. He said, We're clearly okay. That was a weird noise.

He's clearly okay. He hasn't had a fall or anything. I said, How do you know? Did you ask him? I said, Yes.

I said, Is he okay? He said, Yes. So he's okay then. I said, We don't know he's okay.

Just because he says he's okay, doesn't mean he is okay. He might have had a fall. And now he's confused.

He might have concussion or something, you know, I mean, just, I realise it's a, it probably hasn't happened. And I hope it hasn't happened. But there's always a chance.

He's living on his own. I don't know, he might have, you know, anything could happen to anyone, you know, so he might not be completely there. Like he might be confused.

And it might be the opening the lock is something that he's struggling to do. Because sometimes, and I've been confused in the past, or through anxiety or stress, where the simplest tasks are very difficult. So I used to say this to the shop, I used to work in this, was the evolution shop, which is like gift, Buddhist gift shop.

And there was an office in the back. So there's a front, you know, front door where people come in. But then there was also an office in the back.

And that was the fire escape. But they would keep the forest and they had a thing, you know, which you pushed and open the door, but they used to lock the fire escape. While it was open, while the shop was open, which you're not supposed to, obviously, it's a legally has to be available for the public to come in and escape, you know, in any event of an emergency.

And I kept saying to them, and they were saying, Yeah, but we don't want people walking in from outside. Because the courtyard was shared with other shops. And we don't want to, which is where the people would congregate.

And they could also climb onto the roof if they needed to, or get through the other shops. So this is where we keep our money. And it's where we've got a computer and we don't want people coming in.

I said, Yeah, but you have to have the door unlocked. So that then people can push it open. You know, it wasn't, it wasn't open unless I left it open.

But they locked it with a key, the key was still in the door. And they said, Well, all I got to do is just turn the key. And I said, Yeah, but you don't realize that when someone's in a state of flux, if that's the right word, a state of anxiety, really confused because something's going on.

And a simple task of turning a key isn't always possible for people. And they didn't get me, they didn't like what you mean. And maybe you might be listening, thinking, What the hell are you talking about? I mean, you might first be thinking why are you talking about a shop when you were talking about your neighbor? But it's for me, it's quite a good analogy, because something that really happened.

And there's another analogy is there was a physical conflict happening outside one of my addresses, where I lived. It was up the road, and there was two people in an aggressive situation. So I called the police.

I could not press 999. I was so I don't know, overwhelmed, maybe by the situation. Not for me, but for them.

And I was worried that there was, you know, something serious was going to happen, or was about to or was happening in the process of happening. I could not press 999 and then call the phone. And admittedly, I didn't have a phone.

I was using a yogurt yogurt and I wasn't using the yogurt top. A bit of string that attached to the police station. I didn't have that that was silly.

But I couldn't use the phone. I did have a phone. I just couldn't use it.

I couldn't function. Now maybe that's a meltdown in me. Maybe it's not how other people have, you know, maybe it doesn't happen to other people.

I don't know. I've not researched this thing. All I know is myself.

And it's happened to me more, more than once. And there's been times where I've struggled to even talk when I've been in a situation like a difficult situation like it's like my brain sort of shuts down sometimes. So that's what I thought maybe is happening with him.

That's what I'm trying to get at. There's nothing wrong with that. He might be absolutely fine.

But he's, he's, he's, he feels he's locked in. And now that's caused extra pressure on him and he's he's getting confused. Not that that's, it's not a slight on him as a person, because I've been I've got confused myself.

I locked myself. No, I didn't lock myself in. My lock broke.

The door handle came off when I was in my flat. This was like years ago. So I had to phone my friend downstairs to come up and pass the keys through that box for him to open the door.

And I've never seen anyone laugh so much in my life. He found it hilarious. And you know what, why wouldn't give to see that laughing, see him laughing again.

But anyway, so I know what it's like to be locked in and it's not it's like, okay, I've got everything I need in here. For a certain period of time, you know, I'm not going to go hungry straight away, eventually, I'd need to get some deliveries and food and, but immediately, it's fine. But if you've got a routine, which he has, he gets he goes out and he goes at a certain time, does certain things.

His routine has been completely disrupted. So he goes to the shops at a certain time, and he can't go to the shops and see the people he normally sees. And all that stuff, you know, it's, it's a little thing to perhaps other people.

But if you live on your own, and you don't see anyone a lot of the time, that's a very important part of the day. If you, he goes to the petrol station, and he has a chat with the staff there, and they all know him. And, you know, that's, that's part of his probably helps with his mental health, to be honest.

Not sure how it affects theirs. But you know, it's, I try and look out for him. But I was joking about meant there, there's just been silly.

Anyway. So I've known him for nine years, I don't know him that well, but I've helped him out in the past. And I try and look out for him.

And he's, he's my dad's age. He's a little bit. Yeah, he's probably a little bit older than my dad, cut by a couple of years.

So he's an elderly man. He's in his, he's probably about 81, maybe 82, 81, something like that. And my dad's 78.

So there's not a lot of difference in it. And I usually see him once a week, at least I don't see him a lot. But he, you know, you got to help people when they need help.

And he wasn't, I bet you he would still be in there now. He wouldn't have phoned me. I don't think he'd have even phoned the council.

Because he doesn't like to cause a fuss. And so they said to me, this is what he said to me, we need to speak to him. We can't deal with you.

I said, why not? He said, you know, why? I said, what do you mean? He said, okay, two words. Last time. So okay, that was a one off.

It wasn't I didn't know that the barbecue was turned off. Yeah, why did you why did you call us about it? So it was on the roof. I'm not going to just ignore it.

He said, you put it on the roof. We got cameras filming you do it. I said, Oh, I needed someone to talk to.

He said, Yeah, I know. Remember that during the court case? It managed you managed to sweet talk your way out of that sentence, didn't you? I said, yeah, but wasting time. Wait, just can we move on from the barbecue on the roof? Emergency call, please.

Thank you. And he said, Well, we can't deal with you. It's what he said.

So we can't do with you have to do with him. I said, well, you're dealing with me. I'm the one phoning you.

Why didn't he phone? I said, he's he wouldn't phone you. I asked him. I said to you need to find a council he wouldn't.

So I found a council. He said, Why wouldn't he find a council? I said, I don't know. But he wouldn't.

That's why I'm worried if he's okay. Because he wouldn't phone the council. That's probably just wasn't doesn't want to bother you.

Probably thinks there's more important people to be dealing with. And you got more important stuff out there. And he said, Well, we have I said, Yeah, but that's rude.

So you're rude. I said, Let's move away from that one. We do that too much.

He said, Yeah, I agree. The old you're rude, I'm rude, you're rude. I said, It's a bit old now, isn't it? You've been doing that for what, six years? I said, No, I didn't start till probably at least three years in.

He said, No, I'm pretty sure you did it before you got to the number 100. I said, it's irrelevant. Can we just get on with the subject at hand? He said, You're a fine one to talk.

I said, What? He said, Can I get on and stick to the subject matter? When have you ever stuck to the subject matter? The whole time that you've been doing his podcast? When have you actually stuck to the subject matter for more than three minutes? I said, Wow, I really I'll be honest with you. I feel a little bit criticized right now. He said, That's because you're being criticized.

I said, Hey, I know that I do stick to the stick to the point quite a lot. And that's my truth. Well, just because it's your truth doesn't mean it's true.

Nope. I've heard famous people say that's my truth. Therefore, I've shut you down.

And it's the end of the conversation. No, but it's not though, is it? Just by saying it's your truth doesn't mean it's true. I said, Please, can you come and open the door for my friend? He said, No, we can't deal with you.

We can't deal with you. You're not the person inside the flat. We can't just have anyone calling saying, Oh, can you please open a flat for us? Open the door and let us in.

We don't know who you are. I said, Well, you don't know who I am, because you haven't asked who I am. I can tell you who I am.

And you can check on your system who I am. I can give you a telephone number, I can give you my date of birth. He said, We need details of the man whose flat it is.

And I said, I can tell you who he is as well. I can give you his first name, his surname. I can give you his address.

I can even give you his telephone number because I've got that on my phone. He said, Oh, no, we have to speak to him. You could be anyone.

I said, I am anyone. We're all anyone, aren't we? There's no one that isn't an anybody. The only thing we're not is a nobody.

Everyone's an everybody. Everyone's a somebody. He said, What are you talking about? I've got people waiting to get through.

I said, Yeah, maybe you'd answer more calls if you just did your job. He said, Whoa, that crosses the line, sir. I knew he was being serious.

So when he said sir, I knew he's gone into doorman mode. He started calling me sir, so I better watch out what I do next. Because he's, he's given me his full attention.

It's like, okay. I said, Alright, okay, listen, what do you want to do then? So you don't want to speak to me. You want to speak to him.

So what I'll do is I'll take you to the letterbox. I'll shout through the letterbox and tell him to speak to you and I'll push the phone through just the bottom bit so you can speak to him. It's on loudspeaker.

Is that okay? He said, Yes, sir. I said, Oh, chilling down my spine. And actually, I thought it was his voice and I realised it wasn't it was just the frozen fish on my head was starting to melt.

It was dripping down. So he said, I put the phone through. That's quite a good visual that one.

I put the phone through the letterbox. I said, Alex, you got, can you speak to the man from the council? He said, How? I said, Well, he's on the phone here. He said, But I can't open the door.

I said, It's not with me. It's on the phone. He said, But am I supposed to talk to him on the phone? If you're the other side of the door? I said, Well, I'm going to put part of the phone through the letterbox.

It's on loudspeaker. And if you, I was gonna say bend down, but he's only three foot tall. He's the height of the letterbox.

And boy, I'm not the light. I'm not the height of the letterbox. Alex.

Don't make me don't make me don't make me to look foolish. Just for your silly story. I'm locked in my flat.

It's not funny. Okay. All right.

But anyway, he spoke to him. He said, Hello, and they had a conversation. Who are you? And he said, Yeah, I'm locked in my flat.

He basically just told him exactly everything that I had already told the man. He's locked in his flat. He can't open the door from the outside.

And he passed the keys through the door so I could try and open it from the from the inside of it. I tried to open it from the outside because he passed his keys through. Neither was working.

And the man said, Okay. And he just didn't really know what to do. And he said, Look, and I know I put the phone and start talking to him to the to the bloke again on the council from the council.

And he said, I need to speak to him. I need to ask him some personal questions, some security questions. I said, Okay, well, forgive you his number.

And he said, All right. We said, No, you need to call him. You need to get him to phone me.

Need to get him to phone me. I said, I don't think he doesn't want to phone you. And I don't I'm not sure how he's going to deal with all the different numbers.

He has to call and press this number and then that number and be held in a way in like, you know, and they might get through to someone different. Because I don't know if it's a call center, might be called center based all around the country, you know, so it might get through to a different person, which will make it very complicated. So he said, Well, okay, I said, I'm gonna put my phone through the letterbox so that he can speak to you.

So I did that, which I didn't really want to do. I mean, that I really want to put my phone through a letterbox and get it scratched. But anyway, I did it anyway.

And he said, and they were talking, couldn't really hear what they were saying. And then it was quite weird, because I was putting my putting the phone through the letterbox, I felt his little fingers, one of them hold on to my hold on to one of my fingers and just pulled it a little bit. It was like a little child like, just a little bit safety, I feel safe now.

It's like, but it wasn't all he was just trying to get the phone. He twisted my finger. He gave me this it was, it was a bit not happy about that.

So he is talking to the bloke on the phone, my neighbor on my phone. And I think it's getting a little bit confusing for the man on the phone, because he, he goes around circles a little bit. So I guess I'm imagining because I'm being very succinct.

I imagine, yeah, no, that's a good word. I imagined that maybe he was getting a little bit confused dealing with two different people, which is understandable. I used to have that when I worked in a call center, you deal with two people, and you kind of start to not realize who's talking, who's saying what, who you're dealing with, especially when there's two people.

So I, I just wait and I'm trying to listen for the letterbox. And it's like, wow. And I'm thinking this is weird, because there's a big window to the left of me, where people are walking past on the pavement.

And they can just see me bending over with my ear to his letterbox. That must have looked very strange. It's I didn't think about it until right now that people could see that they'd be able to see that.

So that must be very, really weird. Like I just saw that bloke with Vinnie, you know, the one that's got Vinnie? Yeah, Vinnie's dad, did you see him listening through someone's letterbox? Oh, as is a weird, weird thing to be doing. But it was legitimate.

There was a reason for me doing it. And saying that, I just want to make sure the phone's switched on so that I can get her. I told him to call me if he needed any help.

Not that I can do much, but you know, just so I'm there. Anyway, I said, I'm talking to a bloke. And he said, well, he's all right.

Clearly, I said, you don't know he's all right. You know, basically, we don't know. I don't know if he's all right.

Hopefully he is. And then he said, well, I can't deal with you. I said, you've been dealing with me for 20 minutes.

He said, yeah, but I need to speak. I said, you've spoken to him. He said, but I need to speak to him on his phone.

I said, well, I'll give you his number if you want. Oh, you've got his number, have you? I said, I told you that at the beginning. He said, listen, less, less of the attitude.

And we'll get this call done a lot quicker. I said, okay, so sorry. So I gave him the telephone number.

And then what I did is I shouted through the letterbox and say, look, Alex, just confirm this is the right telephone number. He said, yeah. I said, it's still a number that I've got.

I don't normally call. He lives opposite me. I don't need to really phone him.

I have done a couple of times. But there was that time there was the elephant in the hallway. But he didn't answer.

So I had to deal with that myself. We still don't discuss the elephant. Anyway, he's he said, I said, I'm going to give them your number so they can phone you.

Because I thought if I if if he calls them, if he doesn't get the right numbers and stuff, and he gets frustrated, he's just going to be stuck in there again. And I have to call back and it's just going to go on forever. So, which is understandable, because I find the wrong number to start with.

And it's not the first time I've done that. So it's not the easiest system, if you're not used to doing it, if you're not used to phoning them. So, and I phoned a few times with different tenants, try and help out people get locked out, or there's leaks or anything like that, the lighting in the hallway.

So I've called the council a few times just over things like that. And just for repairs, basically. And I think at least since I've lived here, 1234, the doors have been opened four times.

Locksmiths had to come four times, and maybe five times even. Since we've since I've lived here, there should be the sixth time. And I think I've made all those phone calls.

So I've got a locksmith on speed dial. But this in this instance, it wasn't the right thing to do because I can't I can't pay the locksmith to come. The council would do it and it because it's, it's clearly it's it's not it's not anyone's error.

So if I'm outside my flat, and I've lost my keys, and I call the council, they will come and let me in and get me in. But they will charge me 150 quid or something for doing it. I'm not sure how much.

But if I go to a private locksmith, it's going to cost me maybe 6070 pound. So it's more sense to do that. Unless, of course, I don't have the money to pay, then I just do the council.

Yeah, so but anyway, I checked through the letterbox with Alex saying, saying, yes, I've got this. I've got the right number. He said, Yeah, it hasn't changed.

I said, just check. It's the last three numbers 123 whatever it is. He said, No, just give me the right numbers.

I just do 123. I said, No. He said, Why not? I said, Because I'm doing a podcast, I don't want to give you real numbers out.

Because that is a security breach, isn't it? Don't want to be giving people your telephone number. He said, Do you really think that by giving three numbers out of 12, or however many numbers is in a phone, phone number, that someone's going to be able to guess my telephone number? I said, No, but it's not the point, really, is it? What if I do another, another podcast, and I mentioned, and a similar thing happens, and I mentioned the first three numbers, and then maybe I mentioned the next, the, you know, and eventually, you've got all the numbers.

He said, What's the chance of that happening? You've been doing this for six years, you've never mentioned, you probably never even mentioned me, have you? I said, I might have done.

He said, I bet you'd never even mentioned you've got a neighbour called Alex, but you've never once mentioned me. I said, I don't know, I probably have. He said, I'm really that important to you, aren't I? That important that you've never mentioned, never ever mentioned me.

But then I get locked in, I lock myself in some funny, funny situation, all the funny man's locked himself into his own flat. Now you mentioned me, making me a laughing stock. I said, trust me, getting locked in your own flat does not make you a laughing stock.

A few years ago, my door handle came off inside my flat, I was locked in, I had to call Luke to come up and let me in, I had to put my keys for the letterbox for him to let, to open the door so I could get out, because my, my door handle came off in my hand. And he starts laughing. He said, your door handle came off in your hand from inside, and it's like, he found it hilarious, it's like, so I can't laugh at you, but you can laugh at me.

He said, yeah, but that's funny, door handle, it's like you see that in a sitcom, door handle coming off so you can't get out. I said, but yours is pretty much the same situation. You're in your flat, okay, your door handle hasn't come off because, let's face it, them door handles are practically impossible to get off.

They're, they are like a, like a fort, I mean, like the really, really, really strong doors, really strong doors, so you can't get in. You can, it's just, I mean, there is a way in eventually, but really, it's take, it's, even the police struggle to get through those doors with their battering rams. They have to, like, batter about 50 times to get in.

It takes ages. Well, as I was speaking, the locksmith turned up from the council, or the council person turned up, and you know, you know what he did? He asked Alex to put the keys for the key through the little hole, little letterbox thing, the letter hole, the letterbox, and he said, so he tried it, and he basically forced the door open with his strength. He's a big, big strong man, and I'm not weak, but he's, like, he just literally pushed his shoulder against it while he was doing it, and it just, it came open, but he's now changing the lock because he shouldn't do that.

I mean, he shouldn't have to have 20, 20 stone pushed against the door to open it, 20 stone of muscle to, you know, it's, that's just not practical. Very secure, I mean, you know, there's no doubt in that one, but he said it shouldn't, it shouldn't be like that. I didn't, and I said to him, look, the reason I didn't force it because I didn't want to break the door, because I'm so strong, and he laughed.

I think he thought I was being funny. I meant it. I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't pushing against it hard, because you don't, because let's face it, the way I see it is, if I pushed against it hard, and I'm making this up as I'm going along, but in reality, this does make sense.

If I'd pushed against it hard and opened it, then that's not, then the council wouldn't have come out, but then that's not fair on Alex, because when he, when he goes out and he comes back in, he's going to have to push on it really hard to open it up, and it might be a certain knack, and he'll have to call me every time to get into the flat, and it's, even though he can get in, it's, it's just like, no.

I mean, if every time you answer the, or every time you wanted the hot water tap to work, you had to turn around three times and hop, hop on your left leg, and then shout, like that, really loud, or you could just call a council and get them to fix the hot tap, so it works. I think I'd go for the, just, I don't know, I'd be quite amused at that, but yeah, it'd probably get boring quite quickly.

So the idea of having a temperamental lock, no, get it fixed. So the bloke's brilliant, he's funny as well, so he's, he's basically just fixing it, and he's, I'm so glad it opened, because it means he hasn't got a drill in, he's drilling to get it off, but he hasn't got a drill into the front and make a mess, and it's probably a five-minute job, 10-minute job, instead of a half-hour job, because he's probably got loads of places to go to tonight.

And I feel like it's ruined the recording a little bit, because now reality's crept in.

Anyway, I'll tell you the story. So I've gone to the end of the story before I've even got to the middle. So I don't know where I was, I think I gave the number, I gave the councilman his number, Alex's number, he phoned up, the council, the council did phone, Alex couldn't answer the phone, it wasn't answering.

So he handed me the phone, and it wasn't, and I don't know, it rang, and he put the phone through the letterbox for me to answer, and I was pressing the green button, it wasn't answering. So I'm thinking, well, is it got fingerprinted or something, I don't know. That's weird, it just was not answering.

So I put it back to him, and it wasn't answering his side either. I said, well, leave it, they're going to call you back. We're still waiting.

No, they did call him back, and this time he answered. No, this time he put the phone back through again. He answered, then put the phone back through.

I said, hello, he said, can we speak to Alex? I said, yeah, I'll put you through. I said, they're answered now, you just need to speak to them. So he said, hello, and then I asked him all his information about himself, like where does he live, and all the stuff they've already got, and they wanted to hear him.

It wasn't enough for them to hear him say it on my phone, they wanted to hear him say it on his phone. Now, unless they think that he's got some kind of a stash of gold bullion in his flat that I'm trying to get to, there's no reason for me to want to get into his flat, or anyone else's. I've got my own home.

I'm just trying to be a neighbourly, decent person. He's finished. He's changed it.

Well, just, it literally took, it kind of took more than six or seven minutes. I just went outside and thanked the bloke. I know he wasn't doing it for me, he was doing it for the other, the neighbour, but just, I wanted to thank him.

He was thanked by my neighbour as well, but I just, he deserved two thanks. And then my neighbours started talking to me. So I'd say, look, I'm doing a podcast.

He said, you're not still doing that crap, I said, hey, turn it down. I've just helped you. And I said, anyway, you got to thank Vinnie for this because he's the one, he got me to come out to see what's going on.

He said, oh, thank you, Vinnie. And then he said, it's okay. Sausage.

I said, what? He said, sausage. And my neighbours said, why did you say sausage? I said, what do you mean sausage, Vinnie? He said, I want a sausage. You want a sausage? Well, first of all, if you want a sausage, fair enough, but is there any way to ask for a sausage? He said, give me a sausage.

I said, you don't talk to me like that. You don't just demand He said, now, get me that sausage now. I said, no, he really pushes the boundary, pushes it all the time, like how much he can get away with.

And today, I want to go off subject a little bit. It's rare for me normally, I stick to what I'm talking about. But this morning, ironically, was not really, it's just, I don't know if it's irony is the correct word for this situation.

But my other neighbour, I started, okay, I was going to do a whisper ASMR, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And I thought, well, maybe I'll do just a deep sleep whisper hypnosis. And this was, I don't know, 10 past eight in the morning.

It's pretty quiet, nothing going on. I'm 11 minutes in. It's probably about eight o'clock.

I'm 11 minutes in. And suddenly, there's all this talking in the hallway outside. And it's basically a different neighbour, who's also on the top landing, having his front door changed to a new one, like the ones that we've got.

And I've had mine about four years now, I think. But it's still new compared to the 60 year old building or whatever. So I think these buildings from about 1950s, or maybe 1970s.

So yeah, so these buildings been here as long as I have. Not as long as I've lived here, but as long as I've been on the planet, as it were. So I can't believe it.

And literally straight away, banging and he's getting the door off and he's not messing around. He's like going straight out. He's literally, I mean, the door was removed when I went outside.

Because I thought, well, I might as well stop the recording. And I'll take the little one O-U-T for a W-A-L-K. And so we did that.

I wasn't even out of the front door before I heard someone shout, hello mate, got a tea bag. I wasn't even out the front door. Vinnie was out the front door.

So I don't know if he was talking to Vinnie. And like, so I put my head out, because Vinnie was probably three foot ahead of me on the lead. And I said, well, he said, you got a tea bag.

Now Vinnie started barking. Brilliant. I did my anti barking thing and that seemed to sort it out.

But yeah, so I went outside and the bloke saying, got a tea bag, got a tea bag. So my other neighbour came out the door. Well, there was a doorway.

The door wasn't there anymore. It looked very strange without a door. It just looked different.

I mean, it was different, because it was different, but it just looked really different. It was kind of, I suppose, a bit like someone who has really lots of hair and then they shave their hair off and like, you look different. Or maybe someone that's got no hair and they've got big curly hair the next day or I don't know, just or someone with a beard, they say big old beard and they shave it off or or they wear a false one.

I'm saying it just looked different. I don't know what's all that false hair and false beards, but it was weird. Just, it was like, oh, I've never seen it before.

I've never seen that doorway without a door before. It was a first. It wasn't necessarily an interesting story, I'll tell you.

But my neighbour came out of that door, the other neighbour, not the neighbour I was talking about earlier, the other neighbour who lives there. And he said, you haven't got a tea bag, have you? I said, yeah. He said, and the bloke, the builder said, the builder who was putting the door in, the new door in, said, he hasn't got a tea bag.

I said, maybe he doesn't drink tea. Who doesn't drink tea? I said, him, the bloke. He said, no, I don't mean who, who, doesn't drink tea? I said, him.

He said, no, I mean, it's a rhetorical question, isn't it? Like everyone drinks tea. I said, clearly not. Because if he hasn't got tea bags and he doesn't drink tea, you know what I mean? He said, no, not really.

I said, all right, well, I've got tea bags. He said, just one. I said, okay, I gave five.

Actually, I wish I hadn't, because I've only got about six left. But I normally have two tea bags in my tea. So I've had to do, revert back to just one tea bag.

And I'm gonna have to do that for the next 10 cups. It's the problems I have to deal with in life. And I think they call it the first world problems.

Or whatever that is. So, so I grab five tea bags, and I give them turns. There you go.

He said, oh, thanks. I said, no problem. He said, you can get through if you like.

I said, yeah, I know I'm going through. So just be careful, because I said, I'm fine. I ended up treading concrete all through the flats.

Because there was concrete, he was putting fresh concrete out to fit into the, he had to take the step off or something. I don't know. I took Vinnie out.

We went, we was in the park. And this was, I don't know, probably 20 past eight. One of his friends, he's got a little friend that he plays with.

So there's another dog. And this dog was there. And they run around.

They're running around. To be fair, it's probably later. It's probably more like 20 to nine, because the people were on their way to school.

Half past eight, 20 to nine. So he was running around. And the two dogs are having a good old time.

And then something happened that's never happened before. He ran out of the park. Like there's quite a few exits or entrances to the park.

They're both entrances and exits, you know. And he went out, the other dog went out one exit, because this exit goes two different ways, or entrances two different ways. He went out, the other dog went out one end.

And he went out the other side, like a different direction. I didn't realize he'd gone. I thought he was still in the long grass.

So the lady, she was even, she wasn't even standing with me. She was probably about 100 meters away or whatever. 100 meters, 100 feet away.

And 100 miles away. And so she called her dog. Her dog came back.

So I'm calling him, nothing. And he's gone around the corner. So I'm running.

And I realized, no. Running is no longer my friend. So I try and walk quickly.

Vinnie, please don't bark mate. I'm really trying to make this recording. And I've had so many interruptions.

Now Vinnie started barking. Another neighbor's come in and it's in the guard. This is the, it's not the most amount of interruptions I've ever had in a recording, but it's a lot.

Considering I tried to do this recording at six o'clock, and now it's half past eight. And I've only been talking for less than an hour probably. It's, there you go.

So I have to follow him out of the park. And I see that he's, he's run up to some kids. And he's like getting all excited.

Some school kids run away to school. So I'm kind of walking up towards him. And this bloke is with the kids saying, come on, we've got to get to school.

So he was getting angry. Well, I don't know, but with the kids. And I was like, just Vinnie come here.

He didn't. He ran off even further. Run up someone's driveway.

Bearing in mind, there's a road here. It's a cul-de-sac, but there's still a road. And he runs, he tries to get in someone's house.

He runs up the driveway. And there's a lady. I think she might have just said goodbye to one of the kids or grandkids or whatever.

And she grabs him, not, not badly, but she kind of, he's all excited, but he's got his two front feet. He's got his two hands in the, in the front door about to go and probably explore. And she gets him by the collar because she knows I'm trying to get to him.

And I'll get him on the lead. And that's done. A couple of the locals were like laughing.

So always got you running around today. I said, yeah, the last time. And I was like, I was in the moment.

I couldn't see the humor in it because I don't know. I know what he's like when he's on the lead, constantly trying to run in the road. So off the lead.

And I thought, Oh, I'm never going to be able to let him off the lead again ever. And all day I've been thinking about it. The problem is he loves running around with his friends.

He's got a few friends that he loves running around with. It's just a little handful of friends. They're all little.

And he loves it. He's like, probably his happiest moment is when he's playing and fighting and dancing and wrestling and hiding from them in the grass and stuff like that. You know, absolutely the joy.

It's joyful to watch as well. So all day I've been conflicted, like, oh, I don't know. I'll never let him off again.

It's just this. It's not good. And he's been so good, you know, pretty much never run out of the park in the whole 15 months I've had him or year and a half that I've had him nearly since.

So then I'm taking him for a walk. This is about three. No, it's about 20 to three.

And he sees this other dog. It's a new dog, but it's exactly the same as one of his friends. They were both on the lead and they were dancing with each other and playing and kissing and really like beautiful to watch.

But the leads were getting tangled up and it was just very difficult to kind of get them untangled. And they're still there. No, they're not.

And then I get into the main part of the park and the lady's there with her dog again from the morning. And she's keeping her dog on the lead. I'm thinking.

And I got to give him another opportunity. This is so I think running around for his own for his mental well-being, for his health, mental health, for being happy. He needs to be able to run free with these little dogs.

He's on the lead most of the time. And when I'm with him, I know I never walk with him on his own off the lead. But when he's with these little dogs, he always stays with the dog and he always stays within the field, in the park, always has done until this morning.

And I thought. I got to give him another chance because I didn't tell him off earlier because he doesn't understand that it's like as far as he's concerned, he's just been friendly to everyone. And he's made some new friends and a new lady that he's he wants to go into her house because that's natural for him because he loves everybody.

He's just absolutely full of love. And it's hard to criticize that, really, to be honest. And I do anyway, but it's looking up at me like it's time we went out, isn't it, Daddy? You're right, it is.

But we'll go out and we'll finish this though, OK? And he. So I let him off and he ran around, the lady let her dog off as well, and they ran around and they had a great time. It didn't last long, about 10 minutes because it was time to try to pick her kids up from school.

And and then I walked back to school with her and my other my friend was there picking her kid up. So and she loves Vinnie. So I'll wait until she gets out so she can say hello to Vinnie.

And then we all come back. We come back to the to the park again. And the little my friend's daughter was playing with Vinnie and all her friends that they will know him.

I go past the school and every kid knows his name. You can hear them all sometimes, like all of them shouting, Vinnie, Vinnie. And it's weird.

I don't. There's two kids that I know. Well, one that I know that I've known since she was before she was even born, which is my friend's kid.

She's been, you know, she was pregnant with her when I moved in it. So it's nine years ago. So she's eight now.

So I've known her her whole life and I'm kind of like kind of a friend of the family, kind of, I guess, but they're local neighbours. But there's this other other little kid. I speak to his mum when I see her.

And she's this boy's friends with the little girl. He knew Vinnie before I did. So he'd met Vinnie before I even got him.

Because when he was with a local neighbour, his mum, not his mum, Vinnie's mum, who lives literally a minute's walk from here. So he must have met her when she was walking. So it's like, OK, I can't ignore, I can't just blank him when he's saying hello to Vinnie.

I don't stop and talk to the kids, obviously, but like, it's just weird because they're shouting and then all the other kids have got to know him and he's like Vinnie, Vinnie. And when they're in the park, the little girl, my friend's daughter, takes him off and has him off the lead and all running around together. So he's known.

It even got to the point the other day when we was walking back from the park. And one of the mothers, someone that's a dog owner, who I speak to sometimes, she said to Vinnie, were your ears burning? So I looked down to make sure they weren't. And she's being metaphorical and she's like, she's, and I said, what do you mean? She said, oh, we were all just talking about him.

And they just had a parents' meeting and they were discussing the fact that everyone knew Vinnie. No one knew who I was. I was just known as Vinnie's dad.

No one knew my name, apart from my friend who knows my name. I don't think she was there. She might have been.

But everyone knew Vinnie, everybody, even people who didn't even know, even if not even met him, knew of him because the kids were talking about him. But there are loads of people like, well, we know Vinnie, we know Vinnie's dad, but we don't know, we should try and learn Vinnie's dad's name. No one has though, no one's asked me, but then I don't know anyone else's name either.

I mean, there's people I talk to that I see every day, don't know their name, never asked, never will. I don't ask people their names. It's just, I do, I try and ask their dog's name.

If they ask his name, they say, I've not met them before. What's his name? I said, Vinnie. I realised after a year or so, I thought, I'm supposed to ask their dog's name, aren't I? That's the normal social protocol.

So I try and do that if I remember. But there's only two, yeah, there's only two, two dog's names that I remember. One who is his bestest, bestest friend called Archie.

Absolutely loves Archie. And now he's got another one called Noodles. And Noodles, they love each other.

This is quite a new relationship they've got going. It's only been going for a few weeks. But Archie, I think Archie is the love of his life.

There's something, they both get excited when they see each other. Even when Vinnie doesn't see Archie, I see Archie pulling, pulling his mum to try and get to us. And they adore each other.

I mean, it's like watching a Disney movie, honestly. Not the one underwater, because that would be weird. But just, I don't know, Fox and the Hound.

That was a Disney movie, wasn't it? Fox and the Hound? Am I thinking, what's the one with the two dogs that fall in love? And they've got spaghetti and they eat spaghetti and then they end up kissing and I don't know. But yeah, it's beauty in a bit, not beauty in a beast. Okay, did you have to flap like that? Flap your ears? Anyway, okay, I kind of lost my track a little bit with the whole council conversation.

But in the end, they called him back. They called him and he spoke to them. In the end, after speaking to him, they asked him to put the phone back to me to speak to me.

So after all that, wanting to speak to him, they decided they needed to speak to me. And they said, Well, we're going to send someone out. And we're going to ask them to call on you as well.

To just to let you know what's going on. I said, Okay, that's fine. And is even earlier on.

So like, I had the keys, they said, Have you got the keys? And he said, No, Jason's got the keys. And actually said, Albert's got the keys. That's my real name.

But I use Jason because it's sexy. But my real name is Albert. Don't tell anyone.

And he said, Al's gone. He said, Well, why is he got your keys? I'm hearing this because he's got a loudspeaker. So why have I got he passed the keys through to me to try and open the door from outside? It's all like, I'm not doing anything dodgy here.

Genuinely, I'm just trying to be useful, trying to help a neighbor in need. I'm not like, why have I got the keys? Who am I? Why? What? What? What? You know? Why? Why? Why? Why am I pouring water through the letterbox? Why? Why am I constantly balancing eggs on my head? It's just it's question after question. And so in the end, they spoke to me and said, Yeah, well, we're going to send someone out as soon as possible.

So cool. Okay, thanks. And I said to my friend, I said to my neighbor, like, you got my number, call me if you need me.

And he said, Okay. And he said that I said, you're going to be alright. He said, Yeah, I'm watching the football.

I said, Okay. So that was it. He well, you heard the rest because the bloke came while I was actually doing this podcast episode.

Did it in probably six or seven minutes. Opened it in seconds by just To be fair, though, he's a locksmith. So there's, there's no, if there's a way of opening a lock by using the key, he's going to know how to do it even like, okay, well, because I've had locks in the past, where you had to pull the door up to open it.

You know, because it's it's maybe it's sunk or something over time. And I think I had that on my last door if I remember right now my friend had that as he had that with his door, he had to pull it up, because it's sunk down or he had some damage done to it or something. And he perhaps that's what he did.

He just tried a few different things like pushing it sideways, or I mean, it was so strong, I think he could have just flicked it on the road, it would have opened. So he changed it lovely bloke is that's what I like to see is because he's doing such an important job, helping people out of hours in the evening. Even if it's something that's not a lot of people in class is important.

I mean, it's not a flood, that's hugely important. It's not an electrical emergency is and things like that. But to the person involved, it's important.

And to my neighbor, he's now relaxed, I imagine. And, you know, so he's done that. And I know something Oh, yeah, but that's his job.

And it's not about Jesse's job. The fact is, he did it. And he did it with kindness and caring.

And I don't know, I just like that. I'm grateful for that, because it was lovely. And that's I just think that makes life easier.

It makes life makes a difficult situation, turns into an almost less difficult situation, let's say, I would say, because a lot of the conversation on the phone wasn't wasn't hugely pleasant at times, because I started to feel that I was up to no good, almost and I wasn't. I mean, yeah, so that's it. But I'm sure they have to be careful because he's an elderly man, vulnerable.

I mean, I'm vulnerable as well. But I'm, according to Sebastian, my friend, Sebastian, the famous Sebastian, in Germany, and I'm elderly, elderly, Newland, apparently. So 53 is elderly.

Maybe it is. Wow. But that's it.

So and I said to him, I said to my neighbor said, Well, oh, yeah, Vinnie's got a sausage. I want a sausage now. So I said to Vinnie, look, first of all, you got to stop that.

Don't be demanding anything. Because you've gone from being a hero is what to say hero to zero. In a second, you're a hero.

Now you're just being a little brat. And he said, Don't you dare call me a little brat. I said, I'm not saying you are I'm just saying that's how you're coming across.

And you know, you, you looked out for for the neighbor. And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gone out there to see what's going on. So you know, you are the hero really.

And he said, Oh, thanks. I still want a sausage. I said, Well, if you ask Uncle Alex nicely, maybe he'll get you a sausage tomorrow.

When the chip lands here. He said, I want a sausage today. I want it now.

And I want it tomorrow as well. He said, Oh, you can't have two sausages. He said, I want two sausages.

As you can't have it, you can have one sausage or nothing. If you have the sausage tomorrow, or you have no sausages. He said, I'll take the sausage tomorrow.

I said, Okay, it's a deal. So Uncle Alex said, Okay, I'll get him a sausage. So that's that's a nice deal done.

Vinnie will be happy he gets his sausage. And everyone's happy. So hey, glorious, glorious, glorious.

So I'm going to go I'm going to take the little one out in a second. And sorry if this I don't know how long this recording is, but I'm not sure how much time I've spent talking outside while I've been doing this recording. So it might even be less than an hour.

If it is less than an hour. Well, it's fine. Because if you listen to stuff, if you listen to the five hour or 10 hour versions, it's still going to be five or 10 hours.

It's most of my recordings recently have been over the hour and a half mark, sometimes nearly two hours. I don't quite know how. And also, if you if you remember, I do, I'm doing a Friday Q&A again, or Q&A Friday, this Friday coming.

So it's Wednesday today. I'll be editing this and releasing it tomorrow morning, Thursday. So if you still want to be able to participate in Q&A Friday, you've got the next day really to post some questions.

So if you post it, post it on Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook. So yeah, I will go now. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. And be gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

I'll speak to you again tomorrow. Bye.