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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Yeah. My website which is now up again is jasonnewland.com. I'm in the process of rebuilding. I don't know why I'm laughing at that but I'm in the process of rebuilding it.
And also you can check out my YouTube channel. Just put in Jason Newland and you'll find me on there. There are currently or the other thing is my Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook if you'd like to join that.
And also one last bit of business before we continue is tomorrow again Q&A Friday. So if you've got any questions please go to Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook and just find the thing where I'm asking questions and just or you can just leave a comment. Post something and that'd be groovy.
I've already got a few quick I've got a couple of questions not a huge amount for this week from two different people so I mean to be fair I could probably last that last me an hour and a half probably anyway. But you know if you'd like to ask me some more questions please go ahead. So that's it and the YouTube channel.
I had a comment recently telling me oh you shouldn't be adding shouldn't add all your recordings onto YouTube all your videos me me me me which you know I understand it can be annoying to some people. Oh I can't believe he's barking already. He started barking I mean I just started the recording.
He's got a he's formed a bit of an attachment with my neighbor downstairs and she's got well she's now got two cats but the other day oh man the other day she was walking through the park with her cat she had one cat then and it was in a basket she or like a a cat case she cat is that the right word it's just been to the vet so I didn't realize what she was holding and so I let Vinnie off the lead so he can run the other side
of the park to see her because he always gets excited when he sees people that he knows well people he doesn't know as well he wouldn't leave her alone then she told me that she had a basically she had a cat in the thing I thought okay but he he would not leave the thing alone he he almost it drove him I don't know it drove his mind wild and then when we got into the building she went indoors into her flat and I struggled to get Vinnie away from the
door he was sniffing at the bottom of the door he was so excited and now since then he's just sniffing at that door all the time not all the time he's up here most of the time but you know when we go out when we go outside and now there's two cats so he's doubly excited so he's got two cats there he's got the other new dog that he gets excited every time the dog goes in the garden or if he hears it and and then there's another dog at the
other side of the fence that's started well it might be a different dog that started barking a little bit every now and then and it starts him off yeah and then every time someone comes into the building he barks is unless I've got the door closed and I have music on or a tv on oh excuse me nice gas lovely I've just eaten so it's quarter to 8 p.m and oh yeah what I was going to say the YouTube channel go check my YouTube videos out if you want I've now
got my subscribers dropped by about 10 or 8 and now it's gone up higher than what it was before it's gone up so it's now 1197 so it's kind of reversed and the videos I've got on YouTube all together what is it how many are there how many according to this is 491 videos now you know a lot of them not being watched which is fine doesn't matter it's just I've been uploading as many of the old videos that I can find and I keep finding new ones or old ones
if you know I mean new ones of old ones like stuff that I've forgotten about so you know I'm pretty pleased with that so there's also so many so many that I've got to upload it is it really is going to take quite a while it's going to take still quite a long time to get them all done because the relaxation hypnosis this is the stress and anxiety or stress anxiety and panic attacks that one I've uploaded 30 but I found a bunch of others that still need to be uploaded
so but what I'm doing what I'm going to try and do is not release them all so they're uploaded but they're drafts so they're not actually available for the people to watch them so I'll kind of sprinkle them out you know rather than just release them all at the same time because that can get a little bit too much but I've got 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 22 23 24 25 so I've got another 25 of those videos to upload and so that's going to
take probably two days three days to do two days because it takes a while and then there's the I'm not even sure if I've done the let me bore your pain away ones I've uploaded those I don't know so it's a case of having them and then organizing them into categories of ones with music which I'm not going to be uploading ones about music which I will upload ones I'm unsure about sometimes I just don't know what they are and there's also duplicates and some are just not very good quality
and then there's ones that are already uploaded which I have to check through YouTube to find out which ones I've already uploaded so yeah there's quite a lot it's quite a big job actually I was so surprised and it's still wow there's still probably one two three four five one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven so 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 30 31 32 33 34 35
36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 49 50 51 52 53 it's over 50 times by 11 what's that wow that's over 33 50 times by 11 that's quite a lot isn't it I'm going to be that many so yeah so there's going to be copies there's going to be ones I've already uploaded but over 500 videos still to go through let's see if I can just see the exact properties uh details oh 669 files but some of those are not mine they're kind of other stuff
that I've got but over 500 videos that I have to sift through to figure out if they need to be uploaded or not blimey wow so yeah that's what I've been doing anyway today also also also I have been two days in a row I've made an extra recording two days in a row which I'm quite pleased about actually quite pleased very pleased because I feel almost like I've done something with the day now I know that there's the working on a website uploading the YouTube videos all the sorting through
that stuff there's quite that's quite a lot of time it takes to do that and the website's never finished anyway even if I get to the point where it's all finished it's just not finished it's never finished the YouTube channel even when I've got air all the old videos or all the videos that I've got available to upload to YouTube even when that's all done then there's still more to do there's still more to do so much more to do so I'm still kind of in and out of whether or
not to pretty much make videos that aren't look at for example look at all the relax and sleep hypnosis daily ones that I've got on YouTube and then create videos for the ones I don't have so I can have it in a playlist and it can just be there forever the idea now really for me is just to upload everything onto YouTube and have it there and it'll all be saved it'll be saved offline offline as well but just have it all in one place and then once I've done everything
I need to do I'll start creating new videos that's kind of the plan so you know it's a little bit of a little bit of you know balancing and juggling and all that but it's okay it's fine I'm okay with so today today I have made I did the yesterday let me board your sleep at number 1135 so I recorded that last night and then uploaded it edited it and uploaded it this morning and then early afternoon I recorded a relax and sleep hypnosis daily which was called get out of
your own way and yeah so I did that as well so it's I don't know what to say really because yesterday I did the the number 515 deep sleep whisper hypnosis be kind to yourself as well as the 1134 let me board your sleep directionless chat less from the day before but you know what I mean so it's uh 29 29 so I've done two recordings technically this would be the second recording of the day what is it there is a second recording of the day that I've actually recorded on
the day so yeah I'm quite pleased I feel like um I feel like I've done something that might sound weird but just just this sounds weirder though so that's weirder but I do I feel like I've accomplished something I've done you know I've uh created something new and hopefully a few people may benefit yeah so that's yeah I'm okay with that I quite like actually and now that I've got the routine of making a Let Me Bore You To Sleep in the evening and then do the editing and all that
stuff in the morning the next morning now I've got that routine up and running really I've been doing it for about a month regularly had one day off a few days back but I was I mean technically I did actually make a recording but I decided not to not to upload it so I I've got this kind of now routined and because I don't really watch much television just no I don't really watch much television at all uh I watch YouTube or I watch Netflix or whatever I don't just normal
TV other than the news I don't really watch it I don't watch any TV programs anymore just there's not really anything occasionally I'll watch uh what's his name Jeremy Vine Jeremy Vine on uh Channel 5 it's quarter past nine in the morning so I watch that occasionally but outside of that I don't really watch anything else apart from no it's not really anything else I watch when is daddy's daddy's day special occasion is coming up when is it when's father's day this year father's day father's day UK when is it
I can't 16th of June that's ages away that's two weeks away seven yes two weeks away so what I might do is trying to make a an extra recording every day in the afternoon maybe even in the morning late morning early afternoon so there's enough time between you know so I'm not yeah yeah not making lots of different things not not spending all day editing editing or all day recording just I think two a day is a nice amount three a day would be even better because then I'd be reaching
a thousand a year a thousand recordings a year but the chip van's just turned up so I'm waiting for Vinnie to start barking but he hasn't yet normally um I've normally recorded this by the time the chip van gets here or is it afterwards sometimes my neighbor knocks on the door when a chip van's here so hopefully he won't do that but I won't be answering anyway he's one of these people that's really loud doesn't just like like knock with his fingers he uses the knocker bang bang bang bang yeah
it's uh I think he might have been a police policeman when he was younger because that's that's quite often how the police knock really loud bang bang bang it's a come out with your hands up no so uh yes I'm quite pleased with that quite pleased that I've done so I know I'm kind of stroking my own ego maybe but it's it's just nice I said ego it's nice I just feel quite good about it so um what I'm going to do today I'm going to do now gratitude diary I
did one on the May the 27th so two days without doing it but I'm going to do another one so back to chat gtp gpt.com to my gratitude diary which that's where it's held so right new entry new entry great add a new entry for your gratitude diary what are the three things you're grateful for today okay okay I'm going to be I'm grateful for the feeling I'm having that I have the for having made the extra recording two days in a row so yeah I'm just gonna say I'm grateful
that I recorded extra recording extra um hypnosis session today so that's the thing that's the first thing I'm grateful for um so it might sound weird I'm grateful towards myself but I think what it is is I'm grateful that I had the motivation yeah I'm gonna put that in so I'm grateful uh for feeling motivated motivated so that's nice I like to feel motivated it doesn't always happen if I'm honest but there's something quite nice to have that motivation and then the reward at the end of it is kind of
an accomplishment yeah I've not not changed the world but it's something that mean it could be useful to someone one day so that's that's for me that's what it's you know it's the the point and that's also why I'm gonna try and um I always I laugh every time I think about my website because I keep getting rid of it and then bringing it back from the dead um the website's over 20 years old but it just had so many transformations I just want it I think because I've now only
got two podcasts or you know two podcast hosts kind there's the I don't know what it's called whatever it is the Let Me Bore You To Sleep one and the hypnosis for sleeping deeply in reality if anyone's watching or rather listening on Spotify or they're listening on Apple podcasts they won't have the old stuff on there they won't have access to you know episode 352 which might be a good recording I don't think so it makes sense for me to have that available on my website or have it somewhere available
somewhere so the website's the obvious place to have it really so I'm gonna stick to those two podcasts I've got and actually on my website there is a playlist as you go on to it on the first page there's a playlist of all of the recordings I've uploaded this month so from the 1st of May onwards there's uh from the 1st of May all the way up to today the recordings are on there so which is weird really but yeah the first recording is 1st of May Vinnie made a new
friend that was episode 1108 Let Me Bore You To Sleep and most of the recordings are the Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones there's a few bits and bobs I think um I think the only ones that aren't Let Me Bore You To Sleep are the songs that I uploaded I decided just to leave them on the playlist because I did upload them in May any everything else apart from the last two days is not on there but the last two days the new ones I did it's on there
are those songs even on there I don't know if they are you know songs songs songs uh yeah so I've got one two one one two three four five so there's only six there's six songs that I did other than that it's all Let Me Bore You To Sleep June May and then there's the two recordings one I did yesterday deep sleep whisper and the relax and sleep hypnosis daily so it's yeah it's cool I don't know how many recordings there are quite a few you know it's four recordings of
each one so there's it'd take you all year just you probably would take all year just to listen to these but um you can also see how many people have downloaded or played each one off of the uh hypnosis of sleeping deeply so it gives you an idea of how many plays each recordings getting you know on that podcast the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast is separate and but yeah it's I don't know it's I quite like it quite like that little thing I've done there's the free bulk
downloads of the website so you've I've not updated it yet page is not found really the free bulk down oh never mind three bulk uploads but I got why that's weird never mind it's just I've just logged myself out of the page for some reason but so everything I've got will be available to download as well as stream and also I'm planning to put all the videos on there as well so just take a little while what's the third thing I'm grateful for I'm grateful for having something to get out
of bed for having a purpose I'm grateful for having a purpose so that's what I'm going to put it down as and this is something that I'll come back that I come back and forward from it from time to time and and I know that you know my my purpose isn't necessarily makes sense to other people you know well because just because it's kind of perhaps rather weird what I do there are there will be people that look at what I do and or listen to what I do and think
well how can you possibly feel like you're making any difference to anyone and how can that be a how can that be your purpose in life but you know what it feels like it is it does it feels as if I'm actually I don't know I hope that I'm making a little bit of a difference it sounds weird does it sound I'm not being too I go too serious tonight I'm being too serious isn't it weird how these recordings go like one day I'll talk serious and the other day another
another day it'll be weird like I don't even know what I'm going to say before I press the record button genuinely don't know and sometimes it was go off on the weirdest adventure having a conversation with Vinnie or with some with some imaginary person from the past or the future or and it just gets it's just strange very very strange surreal almost I would say but it's fun it's fun for me anyway I'm not don't know if it's fun for anyone else it might just be annoying for some people because
I know I just from past experience excuse me you notice I like to go oh like that just by moving because that's what I do now my age even just by by lifting one buttock cheek oh yeah I have to make a noise it's a middle-aged thing I think oh my neighbor downstairs one of my neighbors asked me he sent a text saying oh I need some cooking oil please tell me you got some cooking oil it was like like a really urgent text message so I phoned her because I'm
not a texter I don't I don't I mean it's not like texting is new I've been texting with blindly I've been texting before she was even born which is weird to think to think about but it's true she's 25 and I've been texting I mean text has been around since I've had a phone and that was in 1998 or no 97 and so she's 25 she's born in 99 I guess so I've been texting before she was born but texting is it's almost second nature to to younger people even though
I wasn't exactly young I wasn't old at the time was I was still in my 20s I was just a little bit older than what she is now twice her age yay I don't feel old do I yeah it's really weird I said what's that tattoo on your arm it's a date she said oh it's my dad my dad's birthday it's like oh he's two years younger than me oh brilliant there's like every just I never thought I'd really feel old like really like it'd be because there's two really young
people there's someone even younger downstairs there's two really young people living here now and then there's there's a woman that's probably about 10 years younger than me and then there's two men who are about 20 years older than me they're more like my dad's age so I'm kind of in the middle well in the I'm just all they see is old I think anything over 10 years is probably just old to them it's weird I don't see myself like that and then I then I look in the mirror and oh
you know my side not sideburns but you know the side of the hair that goes over the ears that covers up the hair on the ears great it's really going gray now like most of my hair you know I'm probably I would say I'm not even 10 percent gray I'd say probably five percent gray it's just clustered it's it congregates in certain areas and moves around different days a bit like my bald patch I was watching this thing the other day it was on Netflix I think it's called it's Jennifer
Lopez and it's a sci-fi movie and it's all about AI and how this AI robot became sentient and decided to take over the world or whatever and then he leaves the world and he he's gone for 20 years or something like that anyway there's a hologram of him and then all these people are sitting around talking about him it's a hologram hologram hologram and then it goes a close up to him so this is a robot he's got hairy ears now this is this isn't a an issue with people hairy
ears I mean good on him keeps him warm in the winter doesn't have to wear earmuffs and stuff but it's like if you a robot's not going to have hairy ears is it you're not going to put and I'm not I'm not saying it's a defect I'm just saying it's I'm I'm preceding what I'm thinking it it's like you wouldn't make a robot that needed glasses I'm not comparing the two or that needed a hearing aid or maybe you know had a bit of a limp it's you're not going to
make an android like that one that has to keep that's got maybe a stutter or has to keep going to the toilet it's got a weak bladder or it's got a nervous laugh or you know whatever it could be or with a bald patch like me or gray hair you know it's just like it's it's gonna be just obviously and just basically on what I've seen so far in the android robotics world they're almost like perfect specimens and that's where most of my money comes from because I model for the
robots you see so they look at me and they kind of take a mold of my face and other parts of me not all parts some parts aren't up to standard and it's like really that's not human size and shut up just let's move on and that's where they come up the robots it's like you know if you see any of the perfect it's me it's my face it just seemed weird though it just seemed weird that they would it's like just I think it's because I just saw there used
to be what was this tv show it was in England it was on channel 4 and it was about androids and I forget the name of it but nearly every so many movies have had that like a perfect I say perfect you know like just a human standard idealistic perfection kind of okay put it this way if there will not be guarantee this there will never ever be a humanoid robot android whatever you want to call it male with my body it's not going to happen it doesn't mean there's anything
wrong with my body which there is but this doesn't you know it's not not having a go at myself over it's just a simple fact that he's like what is if you can choose between that or that is I think I'll take that one you sure you don't want that one it's called the JC fatty bot no no you can keep the JC fatty bot we'll take the that one this one but the JC fatter but he's been left alone no one seems to want him we can get rid of
the bald patch and we can fix his eyes doesn't have to wear glasses we can wash him no you're fine we'll just keep this one but he's he can talk you know he can talk talk better talker than all the other robots well we say better just talked more doesn't necessarily make sense but he does he's a chai chai little thing well big thing no it's all right I'll just take the one just take this one thanks please take him please he's so annoying he doesn't stop talking he does silly
voices we can't stop him we can't turn him off we don't see chocolate all day long so yeah I don't know it's mind you if you think about it today's because my idea you know the ideal body type is not the ideal body type that I find necessarily appealing so I'm I'm in the minority but I don't think I am we're all different we all like different things I just there's something I just like really short people you know adults just under five foot there's something about it I don't know
it's like I think it's a Ronnie Corbett syndrome I've got and ever since I see that little man get out of the Star Wars robot when I was a kid I thought wow no I didn't I we've all got our own thing I think sometimes like my my should we use the word preference there's something that I'm always always been attracted to something like as specific certain types of females if we say physically but not just physically also behaviorally personality and everything but it hasn't really changed that much since I
was a kid I mean there was a time when I really wasn't that fussed to be honest I was just happy to some someone that was willing to speak to me and look at me but I'm not there anymore I don't I don't have that kind of I don't have hormones anymore so it doesn't really affect me or that way I've still got the sort of certain type of lady that I'm attracted to and maybe it's the same for everyone maybe it's always maybe there's I don't know where that that
kind of comes from I don't know it's really weird but then I've never stuck to that I don't stick to a type I say I stick to type like I'm dating but I'm not but if I was in the past even it's different types of people everyone's different aren't they really but I just I don't know if you've even got it in me to have let's say even if suddenly I woke up and I had I woke up super handsome let's say they're just being particularly handsome and you know for
some reason I suddenly developed a personality now I don't know if I've got the tolerance the patience the this just I don't know if I could put up with being in in a relationship like a romantic relationship I don't know if I've got it anymore I've never I never had it before but I was able to kind of imitate maybe or mimic someone that sounds wrong doesn't it I've just never really this is bad why am I telling you this I've never really related to anyone not really I don't really
relate to people I've got got a few friends along the way but people come and go and I'm not that bothered generally and I think the problem with my friend Luke is because I got to know him so well I know we weren't living together but it felt like we were sometimes he was just downstairs I'd see him sometimes multiple times a day sometimes I wouldn't see him for a couple of days but it's nearly every day for many years and I knew so much about him he knew so much
about me just just about us like who we were as people not about history or past or anything like that so much just how we was or how as a person as a human kind of and I never had that with anyone else before and I'm probably not going to have that again but I'm not sure if I want it again because it was painful it was difficult to be around to be that involved in someone's life and I don't know I just wonder could I do that would I be
able to do that maybe with a woman I in a sense of like have a romantic relationship but maybe to have that deep connection of knowing getting to know the person and caring about them and trying to help them and stuff I don't know if it's possible for me yeah I don't know sometimes I meet someone and I think I like her she's nice and then it's like I don't know I don't have I generally don't have any confidence with when it comes to the ladies these days so I can
be friends I can be friendly friendly I can especially with Vinnie and chat I chat to anyone man woman doesn't matter I'll say hello if they've got a dog then it's all equal to me because it's about Vinnie it's about Vinnie me and other dogs and having fun being happy which is what I want really and there's a few women there's a few men I chat to as well it's kind of all the same and the thing is I think you know most people seem to be in relationships anyway so
someone would have to be very blatant with me if they wanted to be with me or if they thought I was mildly dateable I should go on now I should go on that TV show shouldn't I the undateables should go on there still wouldn't get a date I don't know I wouldn't know what to do on a date I don't what do you do I can't remember the last time I actually yeah I do yeah I do but okay the last time I went on a date where I hadn't already
had a degree of involvement with the person okay so like a first date didn't know anything about them and the first date is to get to know them when's the last time that happened and I suppose I did have someone come around here someone that I met at a group and and she came around and we watched the boxing together so she we had a pizza and stuff so I guess that was kind of like a date but it wasn't out we didn't go out anywhere because the boxing was on
I only had one one chair as well so she had to sit on the floor um yeah I don't know I mean she's so that I guess that wasn't really a first date not like a going out thing so before that there was what's her name I forget her name now but that's the one who I yeah I was talking this is weird I this is someone that I'd known for a while and then lost contact with and then saw for the first time in ages and sort of it was
quite exciting got a telephone number she got mine and we were talking all week and every night on the phone talking about having babies and talking about you know just what she wanted out of her life and what I wanted out of mine and I was what was I at the time I was 39 so 15 years ago now and we hadn't been out together never been out but we'd seen her she used to go to a place I used to go to so I used to I knew her for
a while and I'd even like looked on Facebook to try and find her because I felt there was a connection because she always used to come and sit next to me and chat and stuff but anyway we were talking going on so well on the phone like really well and then when I see her I'm actually she's all we're on the phone like most of Saturday night till about 11 30 12 o'clock and we arranged to see each other Sunday morning about 11 I was going to go around her house
and we're going to go to the cinema or something like that even in the morning she was texting me saying where are you and I'd gone to the local supermarket to get I think to buy some flowers or something like that so I go around where she is give her the flowers and we have a little kiss and and that was kind of yeah it was just this wasn't it didn't work you know because it just I don't know I liked her but I just there was something not quite happening
you know I don't you know you know you know you know and then she made she made a very big mistake she she said would you like some some lunch before we go out I said oh thanks because I was hungry she served me up soup and a slice of bread that's that's a no-no I'm sorry uh soup okay now the start is the start is done what's for for the actual meal that was the meal like really so I was hungry because I just basically she gave me a drink
for my dinner a tomato flavored drink which I do like soup but unless you've got lots of bread and stuff or if it's got stuff in it like chicken soup or broth or something like that but just a liquid soup with nothing in it and one slice of bread no butter no butter I'll repeat that no butter just plain bread now I know it's 15 years ago and I should have let it go I should just you know okay move on but no butter soup so I was still prepared to
give it a go because I liked her you know I thought well we get on so well on the phone and we used to get on so well in person but we're not getting on so well right now we're not there's it's not there I couldn't really figure it out and we we left her place maybe the mistake was meeting her at her home perhaps I should have we should have gone had something to eat in a restaurant or you know somewhere neutral but I didn't really she invited me around
and I thought hey hey no it's just like yeah fair enough because I actually thought we were just gonna I was gonna pick her up and we're gonna go out we went to the cinema and it was already the movie had already started and the next movie wasn't for about four hours so there wasn't much else happening because it was a Sunday so we decided to go to blockbusters when block remember blockbusters they used to have videos and stuff there movies and for those that don't know what it a movie
it's something you stream you know things you stream they used to have those on like these discs which used to go it used to really move fast like that and then you wouldn't really hear it anymore after that and it played the movie and it used to be blu-ray I didn't didn't ever got into the blu-ray didn't really understand what the blu-ray was all around around about the roundabout I didn't really know I didn't have a lot of interest in blu-ray did you I don't know can you even buy cd
players or dvd players anymore are they available there's got to be some and there's got to be billions of dvds around that were purchased and stored away anyway we went there and we ended up getting a movie out which was the what was it the karate kid but it was the new one with Will Smith's son and Jackie Chan was playing Mr Miyagi so we had that and then she said she needed to get a light bulb or something like that from the next shop there's I think it's Maplin's or
some kind of electrical shop next door so she went to do that and I thought well I'll I'll go and have a look around my own stuff so I was looking at the microphones and the electrical equipments you know anything to do with pretty much you know the podcasting kind of stuff always looking to try and improve couldn't see anything and they had microphones but there's nothing I really wanted to get I couldn't I couldn't buy anything anyway but I was just looking got a little bit bored I was like
okay and I get a phone call so I answer the phone and it's I hear a voice saying where are you what do you mean this is I can't remember her name now but whatever it is Debbie Shirley Anthropica I don't know whatever her name was and she said where are you I said I'm just walking up the hill she said you left me I said oh I forgot she was in the shop I'd left her and just just left the shop and walked home but I hadn't walked home I'd
only got halfway up the hill so I was like I don't know 10 minutes away I was only three hours away I was halfway to Spain but anyway I was like oh I'll come down for some reason we never really recovered from that I don't really get it but even before that as we was walking through the park towards Blockbusters and there was not many people around but I put my hand out to hold her hand and she pulled it away so you know I thought oh I thought we actually
if you'd heard the conversations we'd had the night before and all week long we were practically married in the conversations anyway and so that was it that was obviously very embarrassing for me not in public she said put it away so I so we get back to hers we're watching the movie it's you know I'm I'm not very comfortable physically and I mean she's a lovely she was a beautiful woman she's lovely and you know I'm not saying anything about I'm making more more fun out of myself to be honest
for being silly or whatever but it just got to the point where I left and she said I'll see you then and I never saw her no I never saw her again she said I did actually I mean I bought her some I think I bought her some jewelry because I still liked her I just thought oh I don't know but and I left it outside her front door and she wasn't happy with that and she basically told me to go away by text so I didn't think I'd ever see
her again and then I bump into her about six months later and she's in town she's got a case and she's going somewhere and that was very awkward and it's just really there was something there was there was a lack of report between the two of us yet it was really flowing before we met up and maybe we were just destined to be well we didn't end up being friends but perhaps we would have been better off just being friends so yeah that was a strange one but that was a
date kind of just going to blockbusters just get classed as a date going to an electric electrical shop and leaving the person there and walking home on your own is that a date I don't know forgetting you're with them anyway I'm trying to think of any other dates I've had I used to go out with this lady from I think she's from Romania I forget her name now no I remember her name but I'm not going to say it because I can't pronounce it I couldn't even pronounce it then and
we met and there was a chemistry there this is probably this was 2011 nearer the year nearer kind of the end about October time 2011 maybe September 2011 maybe 2012 to be honest maybe beginning of the year 2012 yeah it's probably more likely and she'd never yeah she we we kind of did things in reverse so I met I met up with her and we ended up going back to my place however we did go out quite a few times like to public places to go to have a pizza or
whatever and so we did actually go out date on dates which was nice so that was good it didn't last that long I think one of the problems is I moved out where I was which was quite good for her where I was living because it was quite nice but it was too expensive for me and she had to get out where she was living so we both ended up in these little rooms mine was even smaller than hers and she came back to my room a couple of times it's
just grotty and then she yeah just kind of oh yeah I got a chest infection that's what happened I moved into that room got a chest infection which lasted about three weeks I'm not always the best patient and because I was going backwards and forwards so the doctors would get trying to get help with this chest infection because it wasn't wasn't budging and we kind of lost contact a little bit during that period because I wasn't replying to her texts so that was yeah I was replying but it was like
one words answers and because I was just I wasn't in I was I hadn't slept I think I went 10 days without hardly sleeping so I couldn't lay down yeah it was quite quite horrible and so I messed up that relationship but I liked her so we did go dating but it wasn't actually like a first date and then see where we go from there so there wasn't anything there what was nothing nothing maybe no oh yeah yeah there was I went on a date a blind date but it was
a date it was 2004 and I received a letter in the post I guess that's where most letters come from isn't it and it was a reply I didn't understand it I wish I kept it now but I didn't understand it because like what are you talking about because it was just saying like oh yeah I saw your advert and I didn't want to I just spent another Christmas watching Only Fools and Horses and I want to have a different year this year and they're like yeah why are you telling
me that and then I remembered and to be fair I might have been drinking when I did it but I posted an advert on a newspaper like the singles column I posted a singles thing or I might have replied to a singles thing I don't know but anyway she replied either to my advert or she replied to my reply to her advert I don't know which it is and we talked for a little while and I realized that just from past experience you gotta move fairly quickly on these things because
the longer you leave it especially as a blind date the harder it is to turn up I mean there's been blind dates when I was younger that I just I really got to know them so well on the phone for months and then it was time to meet and you know I'd end up like planning it in advance for the restaurant so I could try and get a job as a waiter so I could try and see check her out first and it was just about I just wouldn't yeah it's
hard so I thought okay we'll just we'll peel the banana quickly as it were and I said well let's meet tomorrow then she's or she's had Tuesday I said okay cool and I think this is on a Sunday or Saturday that I spoke to her on the phone we met up it was in a pub so it was a date and see I don't remember if we had anything to eat but we did we went to two pubs went to I think yeah two and when I went in there the
first thing I said hello she said oh you are you Bobby I said yeah it's Bobby I said are you Gertrude she said yeah then she said should we just give her real names I said sorry okay fair enough I'm Peter and she said I'm Jasmine I said no you're not really Jasmine are you she said no I said well why why can't we just be honest she said well you don't look very trustworthy I said I'm not blimey you think I look you think I'm untrustworthy by looking at me
nothing compared to how untrustworthy I am in real life wow we laughed she thought I was joking so I basically said oh well she'd already had a few drinks by a few I think a few Dutch courage or whatever I'm not sure if I no I hadn't wait a minute this was 2004 I didn't even drink a drop of alcohol in 2004 like zero so I'm there with her drinking orange juices cokes or whatever she's finding it hilarious and she's basically making fun of me being a Buddhist and making fun
of me being a vegetarian and making fun of me not drinking all that stuff so it's it's it makes for quite an interesting evening for her and I think the first thing I did when I sat down is I gave her a present I said I thought I'd give you this just in case you get bored and there was a kinder surprise kinder egg because they have surprise inside and a toy you can play with so you can play with that if you get bored and so that was quite quite
a good icebreaker I know the good icebreaker is an ice pick but probably not a good idea to turn up on a first date with that and where would you get the ice from I so that was a first date and that lasted for two nights I saw the next night I went around her house the problem with that is I had a psychiatric evaluation that night so I was with her the next day I had a psychiatric evaluation with psychiatrists two in fact because of the anxiety and all the
stuff I've been going through so the problem is I was too honest now I'd gone through blindly the year before was absolutely it wasn't very good it was a really difficult you know and instead of taking that with me what I took with me is the fact that I just had a really good night very little sleep and a really good night and that's I was in a I was in an incredibly uplifted mood and they couldn't see past that all they saw was a happy person because in that moment
I was incredibly relieved I was happy I thought to be fair I thought I'd met someone and I did like her and it didn't go anywhere but I actually you know I thought it might I thought maybe I've met someone as desperate as me but I hadn't anyway we they they they gave me an assessment and at the end of it they left the room came back said you're fine you're fine I'd waited for I don't know 10 months for that for that appointment just to be told I'm fine because
I didn't I wasn't able to showcase how I normally was on that day it was a weird a very weird situation and that was 2004 it took me to 2000 it was December 2011 until I was actually diagnosed so it's weird and it's this that could have really made a difference you know if I'd have been put on mood stabilizers or something oh well but I was on such a like yeah I got to hold someone's hand eee human contact just trying to think of any other what other things have
I other things what other situations I've had a first date I can't remember any there have been first dates there must have been surely um oh I mean it was one of the probably my one of the most important or the one of the girlfriends I like the most our first date was just me having a cup of tea in her flat while she told me about stuff about our life and that so we were talking for what five hours so that was kind of the first date there that sometimes
used to get in the way because I would be I'd be quite a good listener sometimes so I'd go home from a nightclub or something and the person I was with would eventually sober up and I'd be sobered up I'd sober up as well they'd sober up I still wanted to be there and they wanted me to leave you know it's like they're sobered up I don't I really want to do this now but thanks for listening for four hours oh that's okay you ever thought about taking up counselling see
I felt I need counselling she laughed so yeah it's this maybe I'm not really boyfriend material maybe yeah I did like being single in my late 20s I had a bunch of kind of relationships but nothing particularly serious a couple nearly serious but it was nice to just to you know because I was kind of at my peak the peak of my career of I don't know what it is I was kind of at my peak I think I reached there about 26 27 28 29 30 and then it started
to go down a little bit when I hit 31 well now when I hit when I hit 31 it diminished a lot but those five years well even 95 to be fair so 95 96 97 98 99 so for six years I was kind of in my peak and even when I started putting weight on it didn't seem to matter it didn't matter to me anyway didn't didn't affect me and yeah I I put weight on I put about two stone on probably by spring 2000 so I was still 29
and still doing fairly well but I was you know I was I was wearing a lot of looser clothing by then yeah but then you know even then I was like oh I wasn't heavy compared to now I mean even then what yeah I was probably I'm probably three and a half four thousand three and a half to four stone heavier now than what I was then so yeah oh well got someone phoning me why would you phone someone at nine o'clock at night it's too late isn't it to phone
someone is it me or it's five to nine that's too late to be calling me whoever it is let's have a look software update oh go away software update I don't want a software update so yeah so that's it really and I'm trying to think oh I did have a first date but it was so 16 16 does that count and I took this again I can't remember her name but she had a hat she wore a hat all the time like a flat cap and I liked her didn't realize
she was actually my friend's sister it was someone that I knew you know someone from school that I knew but I'd left school at this point I wasn't you know what I don't even know if I was 16 yet I might still be in 15 yeah it was in the summer so I was probably 15 I'd left school she was she might have still been at school I don't know she might like a year younger she might have been the same age I don't really remember but we we went out
from she came because I was living in my step mum's mum's flat living on the in this in the living room on the like a camper bed thing which I had to put down every day and put it into the wow isn't it weird I just now got a memory so every night it basically was stored in a cupboard with a curtain in front of it it was stored in there so I had to get it out every night I had to wait until everyone had left and gone to bed
and then I could get it out and go to sleep and then I mean you know if sometimes I want to watch a bit of tv but after I'd be woken up whenever anyone came in so they'd be up early in the morning and then I had to put the bedding away apart from on a Saturday and what happened quite often is my little brother I'd wake him up or he'd wake me up and we'd watch early morning tv the cartoons like fraggle rock and stuff I was too young to
be watching it but I was still 15 and he was eight years younger so what would that make him 10 so it's you know so I just liked it you sit on a sofa and watch the the cartoons and that and I'll probably leave the bed in the bed on the floor for a while and then I'll put it away as soon as anyone else got up because that would moan otherwise but that during that period I dated this this girl and she was friends with someone that worked that I
worked with and a part-timer that was there and I think she was still at school I think and I remember saying to her do you want to go out for a date well at the time probably if you want to go out for a date please and she said okay and she had a hat on I didn't know to be fair I wasn't sure if she had a hair or not but I mean she had hair at the sides and the back but I didn't know if because she had a
hat she might have because of that in them days there was a lot of people with skinheads that would shave their hair off there was girls of Mohicans Mohawks whatever and so she had short hair but I didn't know what kind of hair she had didn't know what color hair she had I still can't remember if she ever took the hat off I wonder if it was glued to her head maybe her hair it was her hair and it just looked like a hat I don't know it's such a long
time ago anyway we went out she knocked on my door yeah I think she called around mine or did I call around hers and then we went back or did I meet you at the chip shop I might have met her at the chip shop but what we did is we went to an Indian restaurant I'd never even been in an Indian restaurant before in my life it was the first time well this is the same way saying exactly the same thing that I just said isn't it it was my
first time and we went in there and I was trying to act all human and pulling a chair out for her you know you've got to put it back in in time for when they sit down I realized that afterwards and it was nice neither of us could drink we neither of us looked old enough to drink she might have done but I didn't definitely didn't and I said to her do you think I'm do you think I look old enough to drink and she said no I think there's too
much bum fluff you've got too much bum fluff I said I'll let you know I'm actually growing a beard she said no now pull your trousers up there's too much bum fluff showing oh okay I did that and but they wouldn't serve this I don't think I can't I don't think they did but we had a lovely time it probably cost about 10 pound or something for the meal and then I think we had a nice little romantic walk down the promenade and I took her back home to meet my
step-mom so I just wanted to introduce her to her and that was it and I think she went home and we met up a few times it just didn't really go anywhere and then I got my own flat so by the time I got my own flat we pretty much we hadn't separated we just hadn't seen each other for a few months so I'm guessing maybe it was over she just hadn't told me she didn't text me but there was no mobile phones back then but oh do you know that
uh the one I talked about the the one that I gave a kinder eggs to kinder surprise egg I saw her the next night and she was eating ice cream so I figured she'd chosen to like settle down I don't know how I don't know how the two are connected but all I know is she'd been on this huge diet she told me for a year to get herself into the best shape she's ever been in and when I saw her she was she actually got through like two tubs of
ice cream during my visit there which is fine I love ice cream so it's cool had she shared it see my issue wasn't the fact that she was eating it's like she didn't share it that's just rude so but the next day even I was at work and I was thinking I thought maybe there was something there you know there's a possibility there was potential we didn't connect on a huge level but there was there was something maybe I was hopeful I was mildly optimistic until I received a text saying
I've met someone else see ya and so kind of I think it turned out she was meeting different people she did tell me that she did tell me that I wasn't the first person she'd met and I guess after meeting me and spending time with me she realized that she'd already met the person she wanted to be with anyone but me really I think so that was good I'm glad I helped oh it feels good so I'm trying to think of any other dates I've had any dates maybe dates dates
dates dates dates no I can't think of any there must have been some surely it's been so long I haven't seen a woman for so long do they still have skin I don't know I can't remember it's been so long oh wow what did I I must have dated in 2000s 2004 2005 no I did I did I did I did I met someone and we went out and had a meal and went out yeah so that we already kind of met each other first but then we went out and
yeah so that that was a that was a date yeah that was 2006 blimey you know sometimes I think of the like vaguely think of the past and I think yeah I've done all right you know I've had a few little adventures and that but I don't really focus in not so much I did fall in love I fall in love a couple of times a few times there was this particular person that I just every time I saw her there's something about her something about her about her I just
it did it had an effect on me or not it she had an effect on me but nothing came of that and then there was another my voice is going weird nothing came with that turned into a Dalek a Dalek exterminate there was this woman at the Buddhist center that I really liked and well I fell in love I kind of fell in love with her I don't know she one night she grabbed my hand and my arm and like pulled me towards her and for some reason something happened in
that moment I'd already I'd fancied a few years but there was I don't know something clicked or didn't click properly something a fuse blew and I had it really had a thing for her and but because of that I couldn't really talk to her because I kept trying to ask her out and I couldn't do it because it was kind of inappropriate really and she didn't show any interest either after that moment so she clearly found out because I told other people so she knew she once came up to me
said are we okay are we are we okay I said I don't know you and and she solved the problem she did something very clever now I don't know she meant to do this I'm assuming she did but what she did is she ate some garlic and I don't know she had garlic in her mouth or she did had a meal with garlic in but then she went over to a bag and had a big gulp of coke and turned around and burped in my face and there was this big
garlicky burp like it hit me it knocked me to the other side of the room and from then on I just just didn't have the same feelings mainly in my back because I hurt myself but I didn't have the same feelings it was just like oh that was really clever belching garlic into someone's face actually helps it works definitely a mood killer so yeah so if you ever want to kind of stop someone from being into you eat some garlic or just eat some garlic that might do it anyway but
eat some garlic and then have some coca-cola and do a big burp right in their face which is grim really when you think about it but it's it's like a big air bubble which awful awful smell it's like really poo it's it sucked the hot it sucked all the air out of the building my people were just falling to the ground honestly it was I thought it was like an earthquake or something going on we've been invaded by spaceships I really didn't know what the heck was happening and uh basically
it was just a garlic bubble burp so that's probably good good uh note to end it on or not so I'm gonna go tomorrow Q&A Friday ladies and gentlemen so if you want to be part of that and I will be it'll be more focused because I'll be talking about what you want me to talk about so you know go to Jason's Jason Newland's boring Facebook group whatever it's called and leave some leave a question and I shall do my best to answer it so I'm off now thank you for listening remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself be gentle towards yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.