(no music) #1128 - Non Self Awareness - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (21st May 2024)

Good morning, afternoon, evening. Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and Vinnie underneath the table is staring at me right now and I'm not sure why.

He's begging for something but I don't have anything for you. Are you hungry? Do you want your dinner? Do you want your dinner? Okay I'll get you some dinner. So I just got him some food.

That's good that he's actually letting me know when he wants to have some food. So that's a good thing. I like it when the doors of communication are opened.

So I'm not sure if I told you my name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes if I haven't already said that which I might have done. So I've been quite regular.

Also I've been making these podcasts pretty much daily as well. So it's all going good. If you'd like to support me please you can send me a PayPal gift if you choose if you'd like to support what I do.

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It lets you know what the PayPal address is. www.paypal.com forward slash paypal me paypal me forward slash Jason Newland. Anyway if you go to my Jason Newland's Boring Group you can also ask me a question for Friday's Q&A Friday.

I've already got two questions already. And all comments. Let's have a look.

Yeah two. I've got two questions. I won't read them out because I'll read them out on Friday.

But thank you to Joanne and Cindy for your questions. So if anyone else out there would like to ask a question please go to the Jason Newland's Boring Group. If you're a member and you're not a member you can join.

If you choose. If you choose. Has he eaten his dinner? Yep all eaten up.

Good boy Denny. So oh blimey it's eight o'clock. It's been quite a busy day really.

I've um here's a weird okay here's a weird thing. Right it's semi-serious so I'll just I'll rush through it. But I like to think I'm kind of to a fair degree have a certain amount of self-awareness.

A little bit maybe not completely you know. But then there's always the I can be self-aware but it doesn't mean that I know how other people are perceiving me. And some people would class self-awareness as knowing how another person like you're only self-aware if you know how I am perceiving you and how your actions are coming across to me.

And that's not self-awareness really because you can never never really know how someone's going to respond internally to what we say unless it's a blatant thing. You know I mean if I I don't know if if I do a poo on someone's wedding then it's probably gonna it you know there might it might ruffle a couple of feathers. And you know in all the best will in the world I might be able to say well yeah my self-awareness is that maybe I shouldn't have done that during the ceremony.

You know it's just saying just generally. But last night this is what I'm talking about last night. I'm sitting down and I'm getting palpitations like in my chest kind of like just palpitations.

Now I do have high cholesterol which is I've got a doctor's appointment in a month's time so it's not like super serious. But I started thinking is that what it is and I don't know and it turned into pretty much an anxiety situation like anxiety attack thing. And I was oblivious completely oblivious to why I was feeling this way and I was waiting.

I didn't even want to go lie down because I wanted to see if I could. I was just sitting there just waiting almost like meditating kind of waiting for the feelings to pass. They did subside a bit and I went to bed and they were still there and I woke up there's still a trace of them when I got up but generally it was pretty much gone when I got up.

And all day I was like oh what was that about? What was that about? And then it dawned on me that I'd spent a lot of yesterday watching old videos of Andre. Because I've been going through my archives of videos and uploading them to YouTube. The various Jason Chat videos, the Andre videos, just lots of old hypnosis videos.

So there's now 379 videos on YouTube and the fact that I was looking at all of them old videos and also I spent probably an hour at least an hour in my friend's flat my old my friend's old flat talking to the new tenant which in itself was had an effect on me. Now I was distracted because there was two neighbors in the room in there as well so I was talking to both of them but ultimately I wasn't in touch with how I was feeling regarding being in.

It was the first time I'd been in there you know since the end of November pretty much.

So and the whole place looks different it's all decorated and you know it's just it's a different flat same walls different flat different vibe everything it's just you know but it's still I don't know but I didn't I wasn't in touch with how I was feeling and even when I was upstairs sitting here I still wasn't in touch with how I was feeling. I was in touch with the physical feelings but I wasn't in touch with the emotional feelings.

I was just confused not the first time I've been confused to be honest but I was confused so it took me maybe I'm just really slow but it took me a good 12 hours probably longer actually maybe 16 hours to realize oh wait a minute those two things would possibly have an effect just looking at you know spending a few hours watching videos of Andre sometimes over and over again perhaps wasn't particularly healthy but it's and you know it's kind of like okay but it just feels weird that I'm so

sometimes so out of touch with how or why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling putting it down to physical as opposed to an emotional cause because it's so easy to say oh it's just a high cholesterol must be but I hadn't done anything different I hadn't eaten anything different you know if I just had a bacon sandwich and a bottle of coke and you know a pint of beer or something like that then I could say okay well that's going to have an effect on my hiata hernia whatever it is

you know acid reflux thing and that's you know and then that can lead to anxiety and stuff but you know the physical sensations and that but I hadn't done any of those things I just had a normal tuna sandwich you know pretty basic and a cup of tea and it's after I did yeah after I'd done the recording but then there was quite a few disruptions during the recording so maybe that's what it was as well and I don't know it was just very strange very strange just um it's kind

of got me thinking perhaps I need to try and get a little bit more mindful a little you know for myself just a little bit more in touch because when I walk I'm quite mindful walker I do notice how my feel feet when I my feel feet blimey how my feet feel when I'm walking I have my feet feel on the floor notice the the breeze notice the the sensation of the breathing of the air and the temperature of the air noticing the smells and sounds so it's a very mindful

activity even more so when I'm in a field because of the birds and being in nature but also when I'm walking when there's traffic and stuff I am technically technically generally quite quite mindful and I'm also always focusing as well on him on Vinnie to make sure that he's safe and he's not that I'm catering for his needs as well so if he needs to stop to smell some grass then I stop and if he needs to sniff around for 10 minutes until he finds a spot to do a poo

then that's what we do if he tries to pull into the road then I stop him from running into the road just those little things or if he wants a treat he lets me know and I chuck him a treat so it's I feel I'm fairly mindful in those situations but maybe when I make these recordings this is kind of the opposite of being mindful I don't know it is a little bit I kind of let loose the kind of chaos the chaotic mind possibly it doesn't doesn't feel chaotic perhaps

a little bit muddled sometimes not very focused at times as well and going off in various different directions but I don't feel that I'm like that all the time you know I can focus for example when I'm doing the editing first thing in the morning editing process and all that stuff I'm focused on what I'm doing so it's not I'm not like continuously just in a sense of free flow was it a word association although this isn't word association but it's definitely a free-flowing thinking I would say perhaps sniff sniff

I mean sniffing today I think I get a little bit hay fever sometimes hay fever so today I have been it's going to sound weird I just wanted to sleep today I couldn't be bothered to do anything I had a real sense of and I did actually I laid down for a fair bit listened to some music it's been raining all day so I've gone out a couple of times three times I think with with Vinnie and I've let him in the garden on the lead and he just stood there

for about two minutes and came back in and then what I did is I was getting the packaging from my neighbor's stuff getting that all bagged up for the waste disposal tomorrow and so I got talking again to the two neighbors I was talking to last night and just like the day's gone and then I got another neighbor came around just now and was talking for I don't know about an hour or so and it's now 20 past eight in the evening the last oh what is it um Tuesday today

Saturday night Sunday night and Monday night I didn't get to bed early at all I went to bed about half twelve yesterday half twelve in the morning or half twelve this morning Saturday night I went to bed at ten to one in the morning and Sunday it was about half eleven I normally go to bed at 10 that's my routine like every day of the week 10 o'clock it's a good routine for me yeah maybe I'll have my dinner or evening meal or evening whatever maybe eight seven eight nine but

at least an hour before I go to bed so you know so my food can go can digest I'm generally in bed by 10 and then I don't know I just prefer that I like this uh I know it sounds maybe I'm sounding really ancient now for going to bed so early but I do get up early and when I wake up at four or five whatever time it is I can then get on with what I'm doing because I'm going to wake up at four o'clock or five o'clock anyway

regardless of what time I go to bed generally because I'm now used to waking up at that time so if I go to bed at ten that means I'm getting six or seven hours sometimes I go to bed at nine but ten is kind of the average you know that's kind of the the ideal time really but if I wake up too early I'm half asleep like I was this morning actually I was half asleep while I was doing the editing and it took me probably about an hour and a

half to do what would normally take maybe 50 minutes to an hour I was just like oh keep going back and forward and back and forward oh have I done this and it actually took much longer to do the whole thing it got done but which is okay but you know it just took a while and today probably the main thing is kind of what I was doing yesterday is uploading videos as I said earlier me Andre different podcasts old recordings old videos now I've had a couple of messages uh

saying or one saying I shouldn't be uploading so many and I think my answer to that is well I have that's it I've lost some subscribers um but 1,179 subscribers I had 1,187 1,179 subscribers I had 1,187 or 88 something like that so I've lost about nine subscribers eight or nine the last week or the last couple of weeks so that's all right it's I don't want to lose subscribers it's not that I don't care but ultimately hardly anyone was watching my videos on YouTube anyway I mean I was getting

70 every 20 every 48 hours it was ridiculous it was like pointless so you know I've had pretty much what's it three I've had over 300 views today of my videos so it's just and the reason I'm uploading the Andre videos is for people that remember Andre and maybe he's never actually seen a video of him so now you can you can just go onto my YouTube channel it just go to YouTube put in my name it'll come up there's a little picture of me when I was 10 on there

and 9 or 10 and with my curly hair I think it's it's yeah it's a school photograph big old curly looks like a a big mop on my head and my cute little smile oh see yeah and um I mean I've got a comment let's have a look at the comments I got thanks for like thanks for uploading your old stuff so many gems glad you like them so I'll put that in that's from friendly toad 6534 that was two days ago so I've I forgot to reply so so that's

someone that's grateful so good and then dirty uncle Hubert Sebastian wrote uploading elderly videos is a good idea however but I don't think you should upload them just like that I've uploaded a lot in a short time which yeah it is annoying to people but you know there you go but make them a specific playlist perhaps named like back when I had hair always with the digs Sebastian you dirty uncle Hubert always with the digs and if you look if you go actually this is on old video timeless time of

choices he's posted this comment okay and if you click on his on his profile what you'll see is if I'm correct an aged version of me probably he's done that a few times he's actually aged me he did this and he never said anything never said anything to me and this picture of this elderly man in his 80s maybe and I realized it was my bookcase in the background with my books so basically it was the same top the same shaped beard same glasses same ears and it basically just used

software to age me which is rude so yeah he's um yeah he's actual he's got 120 subscribers YouTube dirty uncle Hubert eight videos 81,106 views joined 24th of November 2007 now he used to do he didn't always used to be called dirty uncle Hubert he and it says about it says I swear she said she was 18 he said um that no he used to be called the keyboard warrior or something like that and he he used to play the keyboard that's what he first did when he and then he

did gaming he did some gaming that was quite funny to watch actually and um yes I've known him since I don't know I can go back as far as 2011 with him with uh Sebastian Sebastian definitely 2011 but I don't know if it goes back further than that it might do but that's the old YouTube video the old YouTube channel and I don't have that anymore I'd had that since 2007 as well and so we used to communicate quite a lot on there but yeah so I'm pretty sure that picture

is a picture of me that he's taken off of a video or something it might that might that one might not be but previous ones have been because I've actually downloaded them and I couldn't believe it like that's me he's aged me I got um was it Christine O'Donnell commented I can see why Andre was so special cute beautiful wise full of love and life very honest video too sound wasn't loud enough but not sure you can do anything about that loving these so this is um I don't know what

video this is on oh okay um loving these resurfacing too much choice now you spoil us thank you so much thank you Christine this was Jason Chats bipolar vlog 7th of April 2018 so I've uploaded all those I know I'm just going over old ground because we're literally in that sense but I did talk about this yesterday all my troubles seem so but I've been doing it all day today as well there's still more to do still more to do and I will continue tomorrow until they're all completed and then

I'm thinking about doing more videos of me doing this and maybe some other stuff and post them on YouTube so that's kind of why I'm looking to just put everything on there from the past and then going forward just put new stuff on maybe maybe um as it is I'm only up to 1122 on my podcast that these Let Me Bore You To Sleep videos on YouTube so 1122 what we are now 1128 so I'm six behind so I can do that I can make six and just then upload them

but I might not I might just think well let's just focus on new stuff now because if I go down that road it could get a little bit like oh you know I mean I might as well why don't I just make videos of every single Let Me Bore You To Sleep episode every every recording make a video of that and then every episode of relax and sleep hypnosis daily then every episode every recording of the deep sleep whisper hypnosis in every recording of the relax anxiety you know podcast and

then we're looking at you know 1800 1900 videos which is a lot and it would take me probably to the end of the year to do that but maybe a lot more because I'm thinking to make each video it's going to take from start to finish yeah perhaps do two videos an hour create two videos an hour and best rule in the world 10 hours is the most I could uh I can't think I could stick 10 hours let's say five hours doing that every day that's 10 videos a day

divide that so 1000 let's say 1500 videos if that's it's way more than that it's 1100 once let's say 1000 then two four three four five six seven at least 1700 so divide that by 10 it's 170 days I do 10 a day and I don't know how many days we've got left let's work it out where is that's weird okay 2024 calendar it's a 2024 calendar let's have a look oh come on open up what are you doing oh stop it come on behave what are you doing okay here

we go so what we in now may the 21st of may so 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 oh i've done it wrong okay that was september okay um sunday 20 ah okay so may 2024 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 now july 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 now august 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 days till my birthday 54 97 days 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 no oh

oh man it's i pressed the wrong button it's just ah this is ridiculous what are you doing it's clearer but it's moved the whole thing so it's made the thing bigger oh wow okay back to how it was but it's not now because it's got writing on it i wonder if the i'm sure the time used to have a calendar on but it doesn't seem to have anything there calendar nothing oh there is a calendar why can't we do it by month focus focus period 20 minutes no that's it done

go away right oh this is better no it isn't it's too small oh maybe this will be better because it's go away i don't want this go go go away no maybe this will be better uh okay yeah this is better this is actually the one that like a a war map a war map okay right so where are we uh may when is father's day it's father's day in the uk when is father's day in the uk i thought we'd already had it father's day father's day is june 16th

oh no it's in america uk when's when's father's day in the uk sunday 16th june that's weird mel brooks 97 mel brooks is i know we weren't really talking about him but i i felt the urge to check it out mel brooks wow 97 oh anyway um calendar so what we got may oh i can't bother there's quite a few days anyway i mean i don't know how many days always a way of doing it there's the i so i go to chat gpt tell me the calendar rhyme rhyme sure

here's a traditional calendar rhyme that helps you remember the number of days in each month 30 days have september april june and november all the rest of 31 except february alone which has 28 days clear and 29 in each leap year well one and alone is not a rhyme so 30 days have september april june and november and which has 28 days clear and 29 in each leap year so those those two rhyme with each other the last the first two the second two but all the rest are 31 except

february alone it's just it doesn't rhyme i mean it's just like having a rhyme in the middle of like 30 days have september april june and november all the rest have 31 oh i went and had a cup of tea last week and had a current bun that did rhyme so that wasn't a good example but oh which has 28 days clear and 29 in each leap year how are we supposed to remember that because for me the problem wasn't remembering how many days in each month it was remembering that

stupid rhyme because it doesn't rhyme 30 days have september april june and november oh and you know what's weird is i've noticed if you ask well i don't know everyone because i've not actually done a survey with the entire world if you say oh how many days in march and they'll do this the tune or do the the poem 30 days have september april june and november oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no how many days in march a 30

days have no can you tell me how many days in march and they can't they can't do it because i don't know it's the whole thing like um did the clocks go forward or did i go back you know it's this sunday the clocks are changing is it this saturday or sunday early morning at one o'clock is it this it's not actually happening i'm saying you know in this conversational scenario are they going forward or they're back and it can't just say it's going forward or it's back back is uh

was it spring forward fall back spring and it's like proud of themselves spring forward fall back which works if you're in america and you say fall in england we say autumn we don't use the word fall i think it originally used to be well the language the language did originally come from england didn't it so um but we don't use that word anymore we use autumn like autumnal what an autumnal autumnal weather you don't say what foley weather or maybe you do i don't know 30 days have september it's like

oh the clocks go back this month the clocks go back or forward this month i can't remember how many how many days are there what day does it go back i don't how many days i don't know how many what date because it's the last sunday so you got to do both of them 30 days have september april june and november all the rest of 21 except february alone which has 28 days clear and 29 in each leap year spring forward fall back it's like shut up i remember asking someone

and literally it was i was working night shift forgot to take any money to work with me wanted to get myself a coffee forgot i didn't have enough money i didn't have anything didn't never have a penny on me it wasn't i didn't have any money i just didn't have any money on me and i said to one of my work colleagues do us a favor just borrow a pound so i can get a coffee and she started quoting shakespeare to me neither a lender nor a borrower be smoking on

a pipe it's like what just say no or yes neither a lender nor a borrower be it's like you need to get out of this little town mate you need to get out and see more of the world more of the country just you know she kept repeating it um i think she got locked up i think she had problems anyway she you know it's like just say no if you don't want i think i don't know if it was the same person it might not have been that i remember

i did this uh at this job in a meter factory a meter factory and it was one of the best jobs i ever had to be honest i didn't realize it was it was a good job it was a good place to work and i i worked there three times the third time i did a night shift which was probably my favorite time being there and it was clean because the first two jobs i was packing meters into boxes which was wasn't dirty but there's a lot of physical uh doing

stuff like the boxes on the floor there's a lot of bending and putting the the stuff in the in the boxes and you know it was quite a physical job the third time i was there i was actually more on the conveyor belt side of things uh taking apart meters putting together meters just there's more more technical stuff not complicated because they wouldn't have had me doing that and i didn't do any soldering because i failed that in in the training but i don't know how you how you fail soldering

but i did but they'd already taken me on so they couldn't well i don't know they might have been able to sack me but they didn't so i wasn't on the big conveyor belt which was probably a much harder job anyway because you had to keep going the whole night so they they put me in there i guess if it was the remedial yeah the the remedial area i was one of the i just did the easy stuff which is fine by me and what's the point of why i'm telling

you this i wore a white coat i thought i was a doctor i did felt like a doctor and it was very clean because we had to be clean because of the um because meters electric meters the whole area needs to be pretty much dust free so it was very there was like machines sucking the air out all the time sucking dust out and stuff and i'm partly making this up but i think it's true i don't oh yeah that's why i'm telling you on the training there was probably about

six of us wasn't many the induction and it only lasted for a few days culminated in the soldering failure but that's okay and then we're going to do another they're going to test me again but they should never get around to it and this one of the ladies offered me a lift and she lived literally around the corner from me and it wasn't a long walk to work it really wasn't it wasn't a long walk it was 20 minutes it wasn't difficult to get there not really so it's fairly easy

and she offered me a lift so i took it okay thanks and i think after four days was it four months she got fed up with giving me a lift and she started moaning going about this is costing me too much money it costs more money to to have two people in the car and you're just taking advantage of my generosity i said look i'll give you the money back that i stole from your purse she said what i said that's what you're angry for isn't it no you've been stealing

out of my purse i said no i was joking i said why did you say it then i said well because i thought it'd make you laugh and distract you from what you're talking about and she said well it hasn't now because it's made me angrier i said why are you angry in the first place she said because you're just getting a lift and you're not contributing i said what do you want me to contribute to the petrol the cost of the petrol but you're paying for the petrol to get

to work anyway that's not the point why and bearing in mind i was i was a teenager at a time so i didn't have i wasn't quite um i'm not saying that there's a reason to be um i don't know what the word is insensitive or ungrateful maybe i think i just annoyed her if that's because if she liked me as a person then she probably would have been cool with me giving me a lift and we would have got on but she was a huge there was a huge age

difference in us and we didn't really relate to each other i guess and she gave me a lift that one time that last time this is the last time i'm giving you a lift i said okay cool that was a bit of an awkward journey to be honest with you and i got out of car thanks never spoke to each other again the next six months or whatever that i used to see her never acknowledged each other and it was just like just because but she didn't just like maybe it's

it's hard to just say i'm not giving you a lift anymore because that's all it took well i would have still turned up but you know she'd have to remind me every time i'd have hidden on on top of the car probably but it's besides the point it's i didn't need a lift it wasn't far from where we worked i literally had to walk to her house by the time i got to her house that was as far as walking down the ramp which led me to the road that then

led me to the road that i worked in so it wasn't you know probably a quarter of my journey was going to her house and then the rest of it was easy it was it's an easy journey anyway so there was like the hardest bit was walking up the ramp you know coming home in the morning because it was very steep oh yes steepy steepy steepy it was so how many days then in so what we got march and may june 30 days september june june june september november 30 days

that's 90 oh no i'm not the thing is they don't name all the different months if they named all the months it'd be easier 30 days have september april june and november all the rest are 31 except february oh come on so now i've got to remember all the other months so we've got september april june november and february now i don't know about you i find saying the months of the year much easier if i do them in order you know like january february march april may june july augustus

september october november december you know i can in that order if you start mixing them around like october but you can't say november okay february but you can't say march okay august but you can't say september next the only one i can remember so far is august i can't remember the other two now it's it's it's impossible depending on what kind of brain you have i suppose depending upon your brain yeah i'm gonna order some food tomorrow i've been living on scraps the last few days i just haven't had them

and be able to get any food i've had i've had got food i mean there's always stuff in the freezer and so i'm not it's just i haven't got any like stuff in the fridge or the cupboard or anything so i'm like oh so i get paid tomorrow so i can order some food get some i've just got enough ready break probably to get me through tomorrow morning i mean it's gonna be i've got like one part of a bag and another three small amounts of ready break in each of

the bags so between them providing i don't put too much milk in the bowl to start with i should be okay see if there's too much milk um it's gonna if i put the ready break powder in it might just become almost watery and that that's no use to anyone it'd just be like eating soup ready break flavored soup you know years ago back in 2000 2005 i don't know why that's funny 2005 i or was it 2004 blimey yeah 2004 i won i won a microwave at work and it

was uh in the sales job i had and it was like a i don't know i think basically you get a sale for everyone who got a sale or two sales whatever they got given tokens and it's like a raffle thing but anyway i won i won a microwave i lost a walkman because i wasn't paying attention someone else like grabbed it but i was focusing on something else but i won the microwave so i took it home because that's the best way to keep best place to keep it really

isn't it they said after three months you've got to take it hey can't keep it on your desk but i said it's nice i said yeah i know it's nice but it's not really what's for you know posting pictures of dolly parton on the screen of the microwave it's not really what for and it's a bit inappropriate as well i said why it was dolly parton i said she's a singer i know that's not why you've got her on there though is it i said yes it is but why why

have you okay that's it why have you got dolly parton from this dolly parton from the 70s why have you got a picture from the 70s on there if it's because i love her music and she that's when she was at her greatest 70s late 70s at early 80s that's when she was at her greatest you know jolene jolene jolene jolene i'm begging of you please don't take my ham jolene it's man and don't have to sing the songs working now too bad what a way to make a living he

he he okay i get the point we know everyone knows who dolly parton is it's very famous but that does not really excuse why you've got a picture of her on your micro well that doesn't excuse why you've got a microwave on your desk and why you've got a picture of dolly parton on the screen of the microwave door i said because i'm it's because she's a singer that's not why you've got that picture there is it jason i said it is william it is he said don't call me william

call me bill you know everyone calls me bill why are you calling me william what you want to what you want to push me do you today you want to push me i said no i don't want to push you billy no bill not billy not william bill sorry bill bill no no not bill bill not willie not not any of the other names you come up with it's just bill sorry billy bob it's not billy bob you know it's not billy bob you're pushing me now you're pushing me again

why do you keep pushing me jason why you know there's people listening you can't keep winding me up and talking back in front of other people and i said did you notice when he said winding me up you it was big pop like that winding me up he said yeah i did notice that i was hoping no one else had i said well i think it's a bit too late i think your new name is going to be um billy bop billy that is your new name billy he said no

it isn't i said seriously people have started calling you billy that's actually this is really silly oh man i've reached a new low billy so and he said what do you mean you've reached a new low i said oh it's the podcast this is i just realized this this is going in a really weird direction he said yeah how is the podcast going i said oh not too bad he said oh cool um can i ask you a question i said yeah well he said what is the podcast what is

a podcast i said what's an audio of um it's just talking you know he said oh okay this is like music is it i said oh hmm it's not singing but you know there's music in the background on some of the recordings and he said oh okay i said what do you want do you want the do i listen to some he said no i said why not he said i can't i said why he said isn't it obvious i said no billy i can't even do it bill what what

what's obvious we haven't started making them yet have you didn't start till 2006 and we're now in 2004 i said okay fair enough we're going down that route again are we this is just too weird even for me and he said do you think that's strange we haven't actually finished a conversation yet we're still talking about dolly parton i said really he said yeah i said okay what do you want to say now he said well i'd like to just continue from where we were focusing on the picture of dolly

parton on the microwave door which is on the microwave which should not be on your desk you know it's okay that it was on there during the rest of the day once you had won it because you won it you know for your sales but it shouldn't still be here six years later i said it's not six years he said i know but i'm i'm exaggerating for effect and i said no it's quite good he said thank you for for that all by myself i said really yeah yeah i said

oh wow it's very impressive he said oh you think that's impressive wait till you see what i got in my pocket at that point i thought oh a bit worried but it's okay it was just a little penguin i always carry this little stuffed penguin around but he shrunk it do you know he basically froze dried it so it was a lot smaller than it had been before and he just loved the mummified look oh dear so anyway he said you need to take the picture off the microwave door i

said why he said you know why i said i don't know why he said yes you do i said i don't he said you do i said you don't he said but you mean i don't you do he said i know i do i said i told you he said what i said i don't know i'm trying to be clever but it's not really working is it he said no it never has why would you try and do something you've never done before i said i thought give it a go

you never know there's nothing to lose really is a i mean you think about it i've done quite well considering i'm not very clever at all imagine what how successful i could be if i was clever if i had more than three brain cells i could probably do your job he said that's rude but also true i said see bill he saw he got it right that time said yep i don't know what's going on but i think my mouth was dry i was struggling to get the he said oh

you're doing it now a bit too much now really i said well you know just practicing sometimes it's good to practice he said yeah i guess depends what you're doing so what do you mean well if you're going out for dinner uh you know on a first date you don't want to practice eating a whole meal because when you get there you're going to be full aren't you well depends on what well you might be if you go on a first date and you're really hungry but okay i'll just talk

it off from my own perspective if i go on a date and i'm really hungry i might not enjoy the rains really coming down i was just distracted by the weather the weather the weather i was distracted by the weather and oh yeah pam not pamela anderson um dolly parton he he needs to take it off i said why he said it's inappropriate i said look regardless of you know what some regardless of her physical appearance i'm i'm a big fan of hers because not because of how she looks because

that's shallow it's because of her amazing vocal talent and songwriting ability and he said why is she in a bikini then i said like i'll take it down and i did and she said and then he just like listed all the other pictures that i had to take down they were dotted around it apparently when they said you can't put pictures on your desk they meant anywhere i thought this meant on top of the desk i had loads like underneath the desk and then i had this put this big mirror

on the floor and a light so that i could just look at the pictures while i was working which now said out loud sounds a bit strange a little bit strange just a little bit just a little bit just a little bit a little bit strange so yeah so i'm probably not going to make videos for every single recording audio that i've done probably not probably not but at the same time do i really want to make videos like video videos of me on video on camera you know probably not

either so we'll see but anyway if you want to check out my YouTube videos especially look at some of the old old stuff stuff from there's actually a video there's a an old where is it let's see jason chats chats there's a jason chats 58 jason chats on there which means i've probably got a couple of double ones but then i've actually searched through Facebook as well so there's 58 and there's one here from where is it okay 9th of august 2009 which is 15 years ago check this out mate

seriously mate check it out mate it's not a great picture but it's me i don't even have a beard i've got hair and my hair is dark dark hair and seeing how far back we go there's one here from 2017 there's one here from 2018 2017 so there's not many from like way before 2017 18 yeah so there's only a couple that are really old really old but it's still like wow there's gotta be more somewhere i'm pretty sure i've got a a bunch of old ones from a long time

ago stashed somewhere i just don't know where i'm gonna try and see if i can find them anyway yeah it's just and of course there's all the andre videos and what i'm thinking of doing is going through going through all my videos that i've got and any any video footage of andre cutting that bit out and putting together like a montage of andre which will probably last about an hour maybe and it'll just be me holding andre and talking but you see him playing around and stuff like that so i

think that'd be quite nice but it's gonna it's quite a big job to do but i think it would be worth it just to have that as a just like as a tribute really to the little boy and it'll be on YouTube i'm never going to delete them either so they'll be here i'm not going to bother deleting even if people unsubscribe that's fine and i've long i haven't relied on YouTube for anything for a long time really i rely on it for learning stuff and for you know listening to

lectures and even listening to audiobooks things like that but as far as uh promoting what i do online YouTube has not really been the place it's been podcasts for at least six seven years really YouTube i mean it obviously if i started getting thousands of views every day then brilliant and i suppose it would grow if i made a video every day of me on camera doing these videos and maybe doing you know some hypnosis stuff then the audience would grow and i'd get more more views and everything but it

means brushing my hair and i just don't know if i want to do that so there's a big commitment so that's me for today um i'd like to say thank you to everybody for listening remember to be kind to yourself remember to be gentle with yourself lots of love bye