(no music) #1114 - I used to be rude - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (7th May 2024)

Hello, what's he doing? You know he was hungry yesterday, he had three meals, like proper three packets of food. Today, not one. Although one of those packets of food was about three o'clock this morning.

He actually woke me up to eat. The cheek of it. I've got better things to do.

And I was, I don't know what came over me, I was so tired last night. So tired I was. And I went to bed early.

And he didn't want to go to bed early, he wanted to play. It's a bit warm in here. So he's got a little bone under the table, so he's happy.

Oh yeah, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can…safely close your eyes. And my name's Ja, did I say my name? I do the introduction so many times I forget what I said as soon as I said it.

There you go. If you don't know who I am yet, then you're never going to know who I am. Unless of course this is your first time listening then.

Hello, welcome. This is number... What number is it? Number... 1114. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

7th May 2024. So I record it today and tomorrow morning I will edit it and upload it and release it. And all that stuff, like I do normally.

That's the process. And to remind you that this coming Friday is another Q&A Friday. I know.

It's hard to believe. I can feel the excitement, the energy. The energy.

Yeah. So I'm looking at the internet. I've got to be careful.

I've got to put the volume down because sometimes I accidentally press a video and it starts playing. A YouTube video and stuff. Yep.

So, what was I going to say? Yeah, so Friday I put a link... I put a post on both my normal Facebook pages and my... Jason's... Whatever it's called. Boring... Group. What's it called? Jason Newland's Boring Group.

I'm not a great seller, am I? Considering I used to actually do sales for a living, I don't really sell myself, do I? Not really. But I want to say thank you to Emil for your PayPal gift today. Thank you very much.

It came at perfect timing so I could get some groceries. It was like, wow, brilliant. So I've got food.

I've got food in the cupboards. And there will soon be food in my big fat belly. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

So thank you for that. And... I don't know what else. What else is there? My website is LetMeBoreYou.com And it's basically my podcast website for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

I've got two podcasts. One is the Let Me Bore You To Sleep one. And the other one is called Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply in brackets.

Jason Newland. And there's a yellow image with Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply on it. In blue and then my name in black writing.

So that's the podcast that has... I was going to say all of my recordings but it's a lot of my recordings on there. The ones that aren't just the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yeah, so I've just got back a little while ago.

I realise what Finny just did. He just had the bone, yeah? It was a palate cleanser. So he's had that and now he's eating his dinner.

It's been there for a few hours. He just didn't eat it and now he's eating it. And sometimes I think, I can't leave it out.

Because it's been there for three hours or something. But then I remember some of the things that he eats off the floor when we're out. And I think, well, he can't be that fussy.

Really, he can't really be that fussy. I've seen him, well, I don't even want to go through it. I don't want to go into it but I've seen him eat some gross things.

So I've already got a couple of questions sent to me for the Q&A Friday. You can send me a question via my email address. JasonNewland.hotmail.co.uk So there's that as well.

And I will attempt to answer them on Friday. But I will record it Friday and release it Saturday morning. Early hours, probably.

Usually released by about six in the morning. So, yeah, that's it. That's the introduction done.

Yes. Yeah. I don't know what's going on in the news today.

I've not watched much television at all. I've been taking video out three times. And what I've been doing is I have been going through my subscribed podcast episodes.

The Let Me Boyd Asleep ones. Let me have a look. Right, so here's what I've been doing.

This is the start of me writing my book. I figured I've got over a thousand, well, probably about fourteen, one thousand four hundred hours probably of me talking about myself and about my life. I know some of it is just complete silliness.

Some of it is just boring stuff, you know, like going for walks and food deliveries and such like. But as I discovered today, I do actually talk about parts of my life that I forget I've talked about. So my plan at this point is to go through each and every recording.

I've only done thirteen so far, so it's quite a slow process. That's what I say when I hear someone at the door. No, I'll put my phone on just in case because if someone rings, I'm waiting for a delivery.

I might get a delivery, I don't know, but just keeping the door, my phone on in case. Sometimes delivery drivers say phone. So I have done thirteen, so I'm going to give you an example of what I'm doing here.

Because, you know, I imagine if you get to read a book that someone's written, you possibly won't know what's gone into the book, the process. Now, I've never written a book before. I have attempted it on numerous occasions.

I think the first time I tried to write a book was when I was about twelve. Didn't go too well. I always seem to start off talking about superheroes.

That's what I was interested in, like superpowers and things like that. So I started on number three because the first two, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, were basically just relaxation sessions. It's only number three I really started kind of talking a little bit about myself because at the time I didn't know what I was doing.

Some would argue, some may say, still doesn't know what he's doing. And you'd be correct. So I started at number three up to number 13.

And what I did is I'm using ChatGTP 4. And they've updated it, but without actually, I don't know if that makes sense, they just updated it. So they've not brought ChatGTP 4.5 or 5 out, but they have improved the one that's already being used. So I started off asking a question.

And I expanded on that question in order for me to try and get as much information out of the PDF file. PDF file, although I think PDF is, I think the F is actually file in that, so the PDF. But for some reason I want to say file, like document file or Excel file.

So what I've been doing, because I've already transcribed every single one of my Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings. So they're all transcribed, they're all saved. So what I've been doing, I've been uploading the PDF to ChatGPT, did I say GTP? GPT.

Golf, oh my goodness, I've forgotten the phonetic alphabet. Golf, Tango, Golf, P, what's P? Patrick? I don't know, I forget. Golf, Charlie, Hotel, Alpha, Tango, Golf, Patrol, Tango, Petrol, Potty, I don't know, something.

I forget what P is in, so Alpha, Beta, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, HI, India, L, Lima, M, what's M? M, because M and N sound the same on the phone. When someone says, oh, it's M, N, like, what is it, NN? No, MM, MM, no, NN, NN, NN. Is it MM, MN, NN, or NM? No.

T, S, and so, Morris, Minor, is it Minor, and N is, is it Nero, I don't know, Nero, O, Oscar, P, Papa. Papa, G, P, T, Papa, Papa, M, I, P, Q, is Quebec, R, Romeo, S, Sierra, T for Tango, U for, wow, it's not Umbrella, is it? Or laughing at Umbrella would be good. U, V, V is Vera, is it Vera, Foxtrot, no, that's F, Vauxhall, maybe Vauxhall.

W is Wonky, no, Willy, W, X, what could X be, Zero, that doesn't make sense, because Zero is Zed, X, X-ray, X-ray, X-ray, X, Y, Zed, so Yankee, Zulu. What is U then? Uterus, underbelly, underboob, I don't know, I don't know what U's, U, bearing in mind the last time I used a phonetic alphabet was like 10 years ago, so I think you can excuse me for not remembering every single one of them.

Umbrella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, which happens to be the name of one of the ladies I met in Thailand, Ella, found out later her name was not Ella, it was something else.

And I said, so why did she change it to Ella, they said no, she changed it to a different name after she met you, she's still in hiding, like, jokes, silly, still in hiding. I, yeah, apparently I've seen her on YouTube with a different name, like, before meeting me, that is. Ah, confusing, yeah, I get confused using different names, I really would, I really would.

Umbrella, is it Umbrella? Universe, unison, unilever, under, why do I think it's under something? Underneath, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, K's, Kilo, Lima, M, Moo Moo, no, M, what's M? Minor, Morose, Mirror, Maa, I don't know, it's Maa, Maa, Maa, Moo, Moo, Maa, Maa, it has to be one of them, doesn't it, it has to be a Maa.

Maa, Maa, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo,

Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo,

Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo It was a big old paper, it was really popular, people used to buy them and read them on the trains, basically, and they'd be outside every train station in London, and eventually they started giving it away for free, I think that was after the internet was invented, everybody kind of understood it, because I used to quite a lot, I used to buy it,

when they gave it away for free, it's like, I don't want it now, because to be fair, it was just full of adverts, that's the only way they could afford to give it away for free, is by filling it with adverts, but that was a long time ago, so it might change now, I'm sure it's got no adverts, and it's, it's wonderful, I don't know, it's still available, I don't know if it's still around, is it?

The Evening Standard? However, the reason I mentioned it, is because the sellers, you hear them go, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo,

Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, So much, even the English language, the English language, there's so many little idiosyncrasies, and if you say the same sentence in a slightly different way, it can be the difference between having someone feel really good inside, or having them not feeling so very wonderful. You know, take it from a compliment to an insult.

The same words, or the same words delivered in the same way, but, okay, for example, I'll give you an example. Okay. You look really, you look really pretty in your new dress.

Or, you look really pretty in your new dress. Yeah, it's the same words. To me, it's the same, it sounds exactly the same.

But, I've never said to someone, I look pretty in their new dress. Does anyone say stuff like that? I don't know. Maybe.

I don't know anyone with a new dress. But, even sometimes, if you say it nicely, but then your physical actions are wrong, and you get in trouble that way. You know, it's like, oh, thank you, that was the best Sunday lunch I've had, the best Sunday lunch I've had in years.

It's like, you know, people take things the wrong way. It's, you know, oh, that food, that was delicious. Where's the toilet? And, you know, it's just, it's, people take things in their own way, and it's hard to, for me, I find it hard to really relate to some communication.

And, I've been taken wrong quite a few times in the past. I remember this, I think she was, a girl at work, I say girl, she was very young, I was very young, we were both teenagers in a factory. And she said, she's been really bit, bit, bit, you know, towards some bloke that was chatting her up.

Came and sort of said hello to this bloke last night, and he was chatting me up, but I didn't want him talking to me, but he was telling me how pretty I was. And I thought, well, I didn't realise I said it out loud, I said, was he drunk? She took that as an insult. Now, bearing in mind she was in a nightclub, it's hard to find a sober person in a nightclub, you know, generally.

What I was trying to point out is that maybe he was a little bit more free, a bit more braver to approach her, having been lubricated, lubricated, that's probably not the right word, you know, his inhibitions were reduced somewhat. Now, I was probably 19 at the time, so I didn't, I didn't have, or maybe 18, I didn't have those words really to kind of produce when I needed them.

And another thing I did, and it was really, and I felt bad, bad, really bad.

I was 15, so bearing in mind I was 15, but I remember it because I upset someone and I felt really bad for doing it. And so I'm not telling you this as a joke, this is kind of serious, not serious, but I was a kid, and I was 15 and a half years old, just started working in a chip shop, and there was a lady there called whatever her name was, I don't want to say her name, I do remember her name, which is weird.

Let's call it Tracy, that wasn't her name, Tracy.

And she was always moaning, always moaning, moan, moan, moan, all like constantly, and she was fairly elderly, to be fair, thinking about it, she probably was no older than I am now, but she seemed like she was about 80. To me, she seemed very, quite old, like she was in her 80s or something. She might have been probably in her 60s, but possibly even younger than I am now, because 40 was old back then.

And she had a couple of teeth missing, which is fine, I don't care about stuff like that, I know plenty of people with teeth missing, I've got teeth missing, but they're just, they're not at the front. I've only got, I mean, you see me talk, it looks like I've got a full mouth of teeth, I've only got four teeth, luckily they're just the front ones, so I just doped my mouth a little bit, so it looks like I've got all my teeth.

So she's, anyway, they got a new broom.

You might think, oh it's a story about a broom, why is he talking about a broom now? Here we go, so, the old broom broke, and this is like a broom, you know with bristles, you stick a stick on the end of it, a handle, all that, and then you have to basically, I think sometimes you get the ones that screw in, which I think is a much better idea than having to hammer a nail into it.

Just makes sense to have one that you can screw in, just makes, just seems to make, it's obvious to me, but hey, what do I know. So what I did is, it was new, it was in the plastic, I took it out of the plastic, and I said to everyone, oi, look at me, look, look, look at this, Tracy's toothbrush, and I'm brushing my teeth with this thing.

And everyone's laughing, except her, and honestly, I felt bad, you know, I just, I apologised to her, I really did, and I made peace with her, and I think, I can't remember, but I definitely apologised, and I did feel bad, because I had no intention, I didn't know she was there, I didn't know she could hear me.

But that's not an excuse, because I've had people do that stuff to me, and it's not nice, you know, so I wouldn't have done it, and it's something I would never, I don't think, no, I would never do that now, today, I'm not really into, I make fun of myself, that's my thing, making fun of myself.

I'm not really into making fun of other people, not publicly, yeah, I mean, me and my friend, Luke, the one who passed away, we used to make fun of, we used to have a laugh, but it was friendly, it was between me and him, and we'd have nicknames for people, and stuff like that, but it was quite childish, really, it was like being in school.

We literally had nicknames for people who worked in the shop, the neighbours, it's like the market stall bloke, all these different people that we had nicknames for, and we'd just use it, and no one would know who we were talking about, if there was anyone else around.

Yeah, man, I'm missing, oh well, so, I apologise to her, the thing is, it probably didn't make it any good, because, if I had, I'm just thinking back at what an absolute moron I was back then, and last week, and probably earlier today, but back then, specifically, I think if I hadn't made a makeshift stage in front of the shop, so that all the customers could see, and there was a stage light, and a microphone, maybe if I hadn't done all that, I mean, if I hadn't dressed up as a magician, you know, maybe it wouldn't have been quite so bad.

And, hiring a piano player, probably was a bit over the top, but, it just, and I did apologise, I said sorry, the thing is, I'll tell you what it was, she was rude to me from the time I started, she was horrible to me, so, I kind of didn't respect her, but at the same time, I just, I hated the idea that I'd upset her, really, it really actually got to me, it's still, the fact that I still remember it now, 100 years later, and, I'd like to say I've never repeated that process,

I've probably done other versions of that without meaning to, I think, there's been times I've messed up, and, there was this one time I was sitting down in work, another workplace, drinking coffee, and, someone was talking, and I said something, and he replied, and I said, oh, and, I can't remember what he said, but all I said was, and he walked out, and, I made a joke, and he made a joke, okay, and it was like an innuendo joke, and it was funny, and whatever, and then I said, oh,

I'm glad I didn't mention his mum, and everyone laughed, apart from one bloke who said, that's my brother, that was my brother, that's my mum you're talking about, I didn't know that there was two brothers working, and they were working on the loading lorries and stuff, and I really thought, oh, oh, oh, am I going to get out of this building today, I apologised to him, I said, look, in the end, I apologised, outside, I went up to him and said, look, well, to be fair,

I'm not waiting all day to see whether or not they're going to be waiting for me, because they weren't going to do anything there and then, because they wouldn't want to lose their jobs, but, I said, look, I'm sorry, man, I didn't, it was a joke, I didn't mean it, like your mum just, it was just a flippant, and he said, oh, don't worry about it, and I was like, whoa, because I thought the two of them, that'd just be, that's the idea of them pounding me, see, words, words,

it sounds different, doesn't it, it's like, pounding you, yeah, you know, like punching, I don't, anyway, so, trying to think what other things I've done, that I shouldn't have done, oh, there was this, my boss, the machine, the ticket machine, because I used to put stickers on bits of meat and stuff like that, that was my job for a while, and the machine wasn't working, so, it was a Saturday morning, I asked for the boss to come and have a look at the machine, the big boss,

because there was only a small amount of people working there, he came and said, oh, the machine's alright, because as it does, if someone comes and looks, it'll work fine while they're there, they won't stop working again as soon as they've gone, that seems to be the way the world works for some reason, and Arthur was the team leader who was, he was just horrible to everyone, he wasn't there that day, but he was, me and him had an ongoing feud, so, I said to my boss, the nice boss,

I said, I said, I'm trying to explain to you, it wasn't, honestly, it's been playing up, I'm not just pulling you, yanking your chain, it really is playing up, and he said, oh, it's fine, I said, it's like talking to Arthur, he had the biggest go at me in the world, honestly, he was shouting at me, don't you dare compare me to him, but, again, I had to apologise, there and also later on, but we kissed and made up, it was fine, yeah, I've got into trouble a few times,

when I was younger, I used to say things, it's like I didn't seem to have control over what I said, I don't know why, I'm not sure, I'm not sure why, it's, and also, I mean, even now, but back then, I never knew what mood I was going to be in, I never knew, I'd walk to work and I'd feel absolutely fine, I'd wake up, have my breakfast and all that stuff, go to work, and I'd get there and I realised that I didn't like anybody, I did not want to talk to anybody,

I did not want to be near anyone, I didn't want to hear anyone's voice, and that was just the way I was feeling, I didn't know why I was feeling that way, it's very strange, and other days I'd be like really bubbly and excitable, very strange, but what was weird, and I don't know if it's weird, anyone I worked with always ended up liking me, usually, even people that really didn't like me to start with, they came around, I wore them down, I wore them down, I think I did,

I mean, I remember one bloke, he was, I think he was probably in his 40s, late 40s then, this was 91, and he was working on a different machine to me, the same machine, but he was working the other side of the room, and he kept shouting stuff at me, like verbal abuse for some reason, he was a drunkard, I mean he was, complete, you know, drinker, before work, because there used to be this thing called the early hours in London, they might have them in other parts of the country,

or they might have had them in other parts of the country as well, other cities and stuff, maybe towns, I don't know, I've not lived everywhere, but in London, you could go to the pub early hours, and I don't think it was legal, I don't think they were legally allowed to open, but they did, and I think you'd get a lot of people maybe that were working night shifts would go there, so they'd finish their night shift at 6 or 5, and they'd go to the early hours, because that was their evening,

so they'd go and have some drinks, and then go home about maybe 8 in the morning, and go to bed, a lot of people would go there in the morning before work, I say a lot, quite a few people I worked with did, because I worked with quite a few serious drinkers, and one bloke, very popular, they called him Snuffles, because he used to sniff tobacco, he was very popular, everyone really liked him, he was a lovely bloke, for the first part of the day, and then he got ratty until lunchtime,

and he'd go to the pub, and he'd come back, and he'd be in a really good mood, and he'd start getting a little bit ratty in the middle of the afternoon, and then he'd go, I didn't know what he did, I guess he went to the pub after work, well, I didn't really know, I thought he must have had a couple of drinks, I went to the pub with him, there was a few of us, so I just went to the pub, because there was a pub round the corner from where we worked,

and I swear I've never seen anyone drink so much in such a short period of time, he must have done at least five pints, and maybe a couple of shots, in that time, the first two pints, he just drunk them down, like gulp, just like all the way down, and another one, all the way down, and he got another, it's like, wow, but first of all, how did he afford it?

How could he afford to drink that much? That's, even back then, I mean, it's probably a pound a pint, maybe more, so he was getting, that's costing him five, six, seven pounds, even at really small amounts, he's paying like seven, eight pounds for a lunch, that's without eating, he used to bring sandwiches in, so he'd have them at break time, first break, and one day, he got sacked, because they found him sleeping in the cupboard, he was having an afternoon nap, and apparently, I don't know if this is true or not, I can't remember, I might be making part of this up,

but they're doing an inspect, well, not an inspection, but the big bosses were coming round, showing prospective clients, because this was a big frozen depot, where they used to store frozen stuff, hence the frozen, I guess, bit, the huge, huge storage units, massive, really quite famous in East London, it was, and every now and then, they'd show prospective clients from other countries, and they'd come round to see how we do all the different bits and bobs, the processing, the storage, all that stuff, so they had this group of people,

and they all had little white hats on, and white coats, and covers on their shoes, because we used to have blue covers on our shoes, after, yeah, by then, there would be a, didn't used to in the late 80s, when I started working there in 89, don't think we had covers on our shoes, but by about 92, they did, 93, 92, something like that, well, well, well, well, so they were showing these people, I think they were, well, they were from a different country, I don't know where, and they were,

they were like, probably, quite important people in their company were being shown around, and he's like, well, there's a machine there, machine there, and pull back the cup, the curtain, it's in this cupboard, it's where we keep all the, the labels, the box of labels that we put onto the machines, and he was just there, let asleep, snoring, on the label boxes, he was just like, fast asleep, so they had no choice but to sack him, and they probably wouldn't have sacked him, in fact, I think they knew that he went for a sleep,

they just didn't realise he was asleep then, so he wouldn't have got sacked, if the bosses had just caught him, might have got told off, but everyone liked him, he was one of these really likeable people, everyone enjoyed being around him, they found him funny, and he was, he was just nice, nice person, kind of, I remember I saw him on a Sunday once, and he, he was dressed in his best, proper Sunday suit, and he was going to the pub, and he was just, proper old fashioned in that way,

you know, I mean, back then, I guess he was in his forties, I'd say, maybe fifties, but I'd say forties, not fifties, and this is nice, so what's that, he'd be seventy, in his seventies now, and he was just, friendly, a friendly bloke, because at that time, this is about, this is eighty nine, and I'd moved in with Jim, and Jim, talking about Arthur, Arthur gave Jim some meat to take home, there you go, you can take that, security checked Jim, searched him, found the meat, and Jim got sacked,

he got arrested, not just sacked, he got arrested, and Arthur didn't say nothing, now he wasn't even, at this time, he wasn't even a supervisor, Arthur wasn't, he was just, kind of, what do they call, what's that right word, he was always trying to get in the good books for the bosses, and these two were friends, like, been friends for decades, you know, because Arthur was in his fifties, Jim was probably in his fifties, or late forties, Jim was about the same kind of age, and at that time,

I was living with Jim, did I, no, did I, I can't remember if I moved in before or after that, I must have moved in before that, because I was working with him, and I was getting fed up where I was living, because it was just so noisy, and he offered me, he had a flat, a council flat, and it's one of the old fashioned council flats in London, it was big, big flat, big flat, big living room, big kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms, I never went into his bedroom,

but I went into mine, because that's where I slept, and it was a big room, it was nice, so I moved in there, I still had my other room, because there was still, like, two weeks left on the rent, so I thought, well, I'll tell the landlord when I see him, you know, I'll put the keys through the door when the two weeks are up, otherwise he'll want me to pay a deposit, or, I don't know, I can't remember my thinking, because I was, it's a long time ago,

so I moved into this room, I was in there for a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe, it might have been the beginning of 1990, like January time, and I think his girlfriend worked in the, she worked in the laundrette, and she was really, really short, but I got on her over, I'm not saying being short is an issue, I'm just, just remember, because he was, he was quite a bit taller than her, I don't know why, I've just, I'll give you a description of him if you want,

so his name was Jim, that was his real name, he was from, I don't know where he was from, I think it might be Mauritius, but he was a Muslim, so he was from a Muslim country, or the majority Muslim, and at the time, I knew a little bit about religion, but he was definitely had gone off the rails regarding religion, because he was drinking, but he just lost his job, he'd just been arrested, and he was facing, not going to prison, but he was facing, you know,

I don't know if it was a trial, he was facing something, and you know, it wasn't just, it was a, it left a bad taste really, and so I was living there, he was really upset, and he was, this bloke was lovely, I still remember his face, he was really friendly, not just, he was friendly sober, he was friendly when he was drinking, he was always like, he used to like brandy, and he'd like be drinking, he'd say, come on Jason, come and have a brandy with me, and I said no,

I'd go and say hello, I wouldn't like just run off, I'd go into the living room, and his girlfriend would be there, she had her own flat as well, and the living room was big, and I'd just have a chat with him, and he was lovely, he was a really, really nice bloke, because trust me, I would not have moved into a flat with someone that I didn't like, because I didn't need to, I had somewhere to live, but he was just nice, nice man,

and it was nice to know I could help him out as well, because rent would have come in handy, now that he'd lost his job, so I think he was going to get some more work, but he went downhill, and after a few weeks, he passed away, so I think he basically drunk himself, had too much to drink, and it's weird, but I was living with him when it happened, not when it happened, but I came home from work and was told by his girlfriend, and I remember that day,

it was windy, really, really windy, I think it was January, and it was one of those winds where you turn a corner and it's windy, I guess, I don't know, I'm trying to explain, it was windy, you know what a windy day is, but really windy, where, like, I don't know, what do they call them, the thing is they shutters that come out from shops, you know, and you can stand under them when it's raining, a couple of those had blown off, I don't mean farted, I mean blown off,

as in by the wind, and I remember that, and I got some dust in my eye, and I thought, oh, I don't like this, so I went indoors, and she greeted me, and I was like, oh, it freaked me out so much, I moved back into my other place straight away, moved back into the room I had, because I just didn't know what to do, and it turned out the police were looking for me, because I'd run off, and I was like, what's happened, this is weird circumstances or something,

but it wasn't, I wasn't hard to find, I was working at a place that he'd worked at, so she knew where I worked, and, you know, so it's fine, but it was strange, but it was so nice, and I remember being in that room for the first time in years, I felt relaxed, really felt relaxed, the living room was way up the other corridor a bit, so I couldn't really hear anything going on there, I had my television on, I was watching Dallas, and that's when it had, what's his name, J.R.

Ewing's son, the adult son that he discovered, and then he got together with J.R. Ewing's young wife, and I think, I don't know, didn't they end up getting J.R. Ewing put into an asylum thing, and it was just, I loved it, just loved it.

I also had a job, an evening job, selling, I had two, two canvassing jobs during that period, one was selling life insurance, so I was walking around London streets, knocking on people's doors, trying to get people interested in life insurance, and the other one was, was for, oh, sky, and my job with that one was canvassing again, knocking on people's doors, offering people the chance to have a sky dish, completely free, for, I don't know, six weeks, something like that, three months, and then if they didn't want it, they didn't like it,

then they could just give it back, and if they did want it, then they could sign a contract, and you know, pay, pay monthly, and that is in sales terms called the puppy dog sales trick, and it's basically, if you give, the idea is this, if you give someone a puppy, and you let them keep that puppy for a couple of weeks, or a month, you're not going to get that puppy back, they're not going to want to give that puppy back, because they'll fall in love with the puppy,

you know, it's just a standard thing, it doesn't take a month, but you know, and that is how they worked that one, so people would have the satellite dish, they'd suddenly have all these channels, because at the time, at the time, all we had in the UK, of England, was four channels, BBC1, BBC2, ITV, and Channel 4, that was it, we had radio channels as well, so I don't know how many channels Sky had when it opened, but it, it must have been amazing to have all these new channels available,

just to have some options, you know, so at the time, I didn't see what a great opportunity it was for me, because if I'd have done that full time, if I'd have just checked in the other job, and said, that's it, I'm going to do, I'm going to knock on people's doors all day long, every day, giving away these free satellite dishes, you know, for three months, I reckon I'd have made quite a bit of money, if I'd just stuck at it, I only did it for a couple of days,

and I just thought, nah, it was cold, wet, damp, I guess wet and damp is the same thing, but, yeah, it's foggy, it was, you know, icy, it was winter, basically, if I just said winter, I didn't have to kind of add all the different versions of the weather, did I really, it was winter, and, yeah, that was an opportunity I could have really took, and that would have been good.

It might have been a case of getting a name and a telephone number, and then getting a salesperson to call, something like that, probably, yeah, like it was when I did the double glazing canvassing, previous to that, and again in 1989, that was my canvassing year, I was good at that, yeah I was.

No one believes me, I was good at something once, for a short period of time, that was kind of the best summer I ever had, kind of, it was the only summer, it was the first summer, since leaving school, that I could actually have any fun, because the first year I left school, I was 15, I had no money, I had a little bit of money, but I was, yeah, I did have, I was getting paid £60 a week in a chip shop, until September, when it went down to £27 a week,

because I was on the YTS scheme, which is just, imagine getting less than half your wages, for doing the same work, it's like wow, so I, in the end, I gave, so I had money for a few months, and I bought some clothes, and I bought some shoes, and the first thing I bought was a sword, samurai sword, and then, yeah, I dressed, I got some fairly decent clothes, because the bloke, the kid that, well, he was a kid, he was 14 I think, or 15, 14,

and he was a really snazzy dresser, and he took me clothes shopping, because I had the money coming in, £60 a week, which was enough to get some shirts, and stuff like that, but I was sleeping on a camper bed, in the living room of my step mum's mother, so, you know, I didn't really enjoy the summer, because I was living there all the way through, until the following, by the time I turned 16, yeah, I moved into my own flat, which was Easter time, which was above the chip shop,

and then I had no money that summer either, because I was earning £27 a week, and then the following year, the following summer, I had no money, because I was pretty much unemployed, because I left the co-op job, because I had this job in the co-op, from April till about June, July maybe, and then from July till probably September, or June till September, I didn't have a job, I just did some part time work, cleaning jobs and things like that, just to get by, didn't have any rent to pay,

because we were being evicted, so we had like 2 months of whatever eviction notice, and I got a job, just in time, in a factory, but that summer was gone, so I didn't really get to enjoy that summer, that was 88, 89, I, yeah, 89 I started off working in, 89, 88, 89, yeah, I left that job, so I worked from September, it's really weird, I didn't stay there for long, or maybe August, I might have started in August, so I had to be 18 to get the job,

so I probably applied as soon as I was, as soon as I was 18, till about December, which is really weird, because that doesn't make sense to me, 88, 89, wow, I had so many jobs in such a short period of time, so, oh anyway, but regardless of all the different jobs I had, in the summer of 89, because I can't even remember what I was doing, but then I applied for this canvassing job, and spoke to the bloke on the phone, he said, yes, turn up, and I thought, oh,

and I remember walking, because I didn't know what canvassing was, really, I knew it was like knocking on people's doors, and I thought, that doesn't sound very appealing, in the evening, doesn't sound very appealing, but it was, you know, it was money, and it was only four hours a day, and I thought, that sounds appealing, so I, I tossed and turned, and ah'd and heard, and all that stuff, and I remember I was walking, I remember specifically, there was a part, like on the cliffs of where I lived,

there was a part which was high above the sea level, high above the beach, and I was just looking over, and thinking, shall I, shall I take the job, shall I not take the job, shall I just, shall I do something else, I don't know, and in the end, I just decided to go for it, and this is on the day of it, I just turned up in the end, I think I turned up all dishevelled, because I wasn't ready, but I kind of forced myself to go, and it turned out,

that I was, it wasn't too difficult for me, to just talk to people, as much as I thought, because there was a reason for it, there was a point to the conversation, there was a reason to talk to people, and to knock on their door, I wasn't just having a conversation, I wasn't at a party, a party, and randomly talking to strangers about nothing, and this was like, I was knocking on the door, I was apologising for interrupting them, and I was there to ask them if they needed,

or considered having any new windows, or double glazing, or new front doors, or back doors, or conservatories, or, chimneys, or I don't know, whatever else, lawn mode, whatever, and that was it, so it was a purpose for what I was doing, and it was people giving me details, it was getting leads, and some of those leads were selling, so I was getting paid, the basic, I was getting paid for every lead, where the salesperson actually got in, the door, so we didn't just write down numbers, you know, people's addresses,

because people have done that in the past apparently, just writing down addresses, and he came back after walking around for like an hour, with 20 addresses, yeah this person, what's their name, oh I forgot to write their name, what's the telephone number, oh I forgot to write the telephone number, but I've got the address, well yeah it's easy to get an address just by walking past the house, but you know, I'd have the telephone number, I suppose nowadays there'd be a mobile phone number, because they weren't around back then,

there'd be an email address maybe as well, and I'd also get paid if there was a sale, and I think the most I got paid, I think one week I got paid, I'm sure I got paid at least £200 one week, during the summer, now £200 was a fortune to me, and I was paying probably £30 a week rent, and you know really, other than food, I didn't have any expenses, just living, deodorant and soap and you know those bits and bobs, so it was a good summer, I was getting paid,

we were winning contests, we were all getting crates of champagne as a team, because we were a good team together, and I suppose the word together wasn't really needed, because a team is a bunch of people isn't it, why am I judging myself, I don't understand it, why do I do that, so that was quite a good summer, I had a girlfriend, I had a girlfriend, and she was a friend of the daughter who lived in the house that I was lodging with, and yeah she lived in the next town,

so I used to go up there and hang out with her, stay at her place sometimes with her family, they all welcomed me in, we used to go out together and stuff, so that was quite cool, and I was reading sales books, I didn't watch television, the whole of that summer, didn't have a television in my room, and I watched videos, I had comedy videos, which I had like a big bunch of them, like stand up, so I'd watch a comedy video downstairs in the living room if there was no one around,

but I didn't watch any television for the whole of that summer, until probably the end of the summer, so all through the summer bit I didn't watch television, I remember I used to get up and go to a cafe, I'd have my breakfast, I think, yeah I'd have my breakfast, like breakfast cereal or whatever, and then I'd go to this local cafe that was round the corner from where I lived, and I'd have a cooked dinner every lunchtime, and I was kind of like their regular customer, they'd only just opened,

and I was like telling people about us, trying to spread the word a bit, and yeah, because other people, some people would come in, and they'd look around and make sure I wasn't there, and then they'd come in and have something to eat, sometimes they'd phone up and say, is Jason there, and I'd be there in a minute, so I don't know what that was about, so it was nice, because I was eating properly, like I say properly, it wasn't, yeah it was quite food food, it wasn't chips and burgers and sausages and stuff,

it was actually a cooked meal, which is, I don't know, I can't remember what it was, probably not a roast dinner, but maybe sometimes lasagne, or shepherd's pie, or those kinds of things, and I was doing that every day, and then in the evening, I was going about eating healthily, and then in the evening I'd have a pizza, so perhaps it wasn't that healthy, and some beers, maybe, tea, I was drinking a fair bit back then, not a lot, but you know, just enjoying the summer, and it was weird,

because I remember I came out of the petrol station, which was just across the road from where I lived, it was quite a new petrol station as well, things were picking up in that town in that year, everything seemed to be going quite well, I'd be on the beach during the day, walking around with my bottle of champagne, with my friends, just hanging around, not causing trouble, just having a laugh, you know, a couple of old school buddies, yeah, blimey, I met a girl, or a woman, or whatever,

in the laundrette, and we really got on well, we clicked, got on really well, she was probably the same kind of age as me, maybe a little bit older, she was probably, what was I, 18, so she might have been 19, 20, I don't know, she might have been 18, I don't know, really don't know, but she was working in a cafe, so I said I'd come and see her, because it was a different cafe, not the one I was working at, but it was like a tea room near the beach,

so I went in there, I'd just go in there every now and then, just say hello, because we spent like two hours chatting to each other, so we got to know each other a little bit, you know, and she was nice, and I did think, oh, hmm, hmm, the thing is, I was a little bit, probably a little bit tipsy, well I came out of there, and some bloke came up to me and said, that's my girlfriend, and I was like, yeah, so, keep away from her, it didn't actually go,

but I'm just giving you an example, and I just laughed it in, I was like, I just didn't know what to say really, because it just seemed so silly, and I was like, okay, and I did, because I didn't know she had a boyfriend, if I'd known she had a boyfriend, in fact, I think I went back in and apologised to her, so I don't know if that annoyed him as well, but I did say, sorry, I didn't know you had a boyfriend, I think, I might have done,

sounds like something I would have done, yeah, possibly, but I think the bloke had a bit of an issue with me, because he used to come into the co-op, when I worked in the co-op, and I think I might have been a little bit rude to his mum, you've got to think about being rude to mums, haven't you, no, it was just, I, basically, I was 17, okay, just pointing that out, so I'm not 15 anymore, but I'm still 17, still, some would argue quite young, was a regular in the co-op,

she was a regular customer, I actually met her when, the first time I saw her, she was outside having a punch up with another woman, and she was a big, big girl, she was probably 6, blimey, well over 6 foot, a lot bigger than me, a lot taller than me, but I didn't care, because I just, I was a bit, not obsessed with her, I was in love with her, I was, I was in love with her, fell in love with her, and some would say, yeah, you were 17,

what do you know, well, I actually ended up in a relationship with her, when I was 23, so, that torch I had for her stayed with me for a long time, so, and I did have a bit of a fling with her, when I was 17, very, very mean, meager, as it were, but, I used to visit her regularly, from the age of 17, she used to, she used to, she took advantage of me, basically, and got me to look after her kids, so she could go out, and not take advantage,

because I was happy to do it, because I was waiting for her to come home, because I just, I was like a little puppy dog, following her around everywhere, I was really, I was besotted with her, I really, I was, 100%, this is hard to explain, and this was 1988, around, kind of, and even, so I met her then, I was still in contact with her, and our little interaction, happened, when I was working in the factory, so I was, I was 18 at this point, yeah, when that happened, so,

and I remember the next day, just walking around with a smile on my face, all day long, it was the most wonderful experience I'd ever had, because I'd spent time, for me, it was like a romantic experience, that's what I'm talking about, okay, kind of, without being vulgar, it was just, yeah, bear in mind, this is someone that I loved, I was in love with her, she wasn't in love with me, because I was, she just, I think she saw me as, well, she saw me as a babysitter,

but I don't, she saw me, she didn't see me as a man, and she was 25, and she was, she was, well, she was all woman, and I was not all man, at the time, I was still a kid, really, I was, I still am, kind of, but I was very, very immature, back then, hard to believe, that I was ever immature, I know, and I just remember going to work the next day, I'd had no sleep, I'd spent the night round hers, and I'd slept on the sofa,

and she was upstairs, and I went to, no, or, I can't remember, no, I think I was living above the shop still, so I'd started my new job, and I was living above the shop, because we hadn't been evicted just yet, yeah, so I was, so I literally, I was round the corner, it was like a five minute walk, and even though I hadn't had hardly any sleep, in fact, I probably didn't get any sleep, I felt amazing, it was, yeah, I'd only ever had any kind of experience with one other person,

this was when I was, just left school, and I had a girlfriend, but nothing really happened there, but this was the first, like, yeah, wow, so yeah, I was, like, smiling, and just, I was lucky I didn't work at a funeral parlor, I guess, that would have been awkward, so I, why am I talking like that, oh yeah, that was a good summer, you know, I had weird experiences at laundrettes, I remember I was, I went into a laundrette, and there was this woman, and my stuff was in the washing machine,

okay, and, well, I timed, I mistimed it by a couple of minutes, so, okay, I'm not going to, it was busy, so I thought, I'm not going to sit in here, and just, you know, it's a hot day, I went back in, and I found all my stuff, all my clothes, taken out of the washing machine, and dumped on top of the washing machine, in all the powder, the loose powder that was on top of the washing machine, I lost my, oh, and I said, who did that,

and a woman said it was me, and I had to wash the stuff again, I had to re-wash my clothes, that was, but then, I had a couple of weird experiences, I was just sitting there, and there was a lady in there, she was just emptying her tumble dryer, and I was emptying my tumble dryer, I just came in, I put a tumble dryer on for 30 minutes or something, and I went out, I know people can open up and take your clothes if you want,

but I knew no one was going to take my clothes, I've never had clothes worth stealing ever, and so I came back in, emptied, emptied the stuff, and this woman started talking to me, she said, you alright, I said yeah, she said what are you doing now then, I said what, she said what are you doing now, I said I'm going home, bye, I really didn't understand, what, what are you doing now, she was really kind of getting close to me, like what are you doing now, where are you going now,

strange, so I just left, and then there was another time, same laundrette, and at the time I was doing the massage course, so it was reflexology, massage, aromatherapy, and Indian head massage, it was a holistic therapy course, one year long, and I ended up pulling out of it after the first term, because of illness and stuff, but when I was doing it, I was working part time in the evenings and at the weekends, every minute of every day was taken up, it was too much, just too much for me,

and I was in there, and I was talking to this female, and we ended up, me giving her a foot massage, without her socks on, her leaning, there was a bench, her sort of leaning up against the washing machine, and her feet were on my lap, and I'm giving her a foot massage, and then, so we was in there for about an hour together, an hour and a half, doing the washing, and then I said see ya, never saw her again, now, if you, I don't know,

if you let someone give you a foot massage, in a laundrette, someone you've never met before, does it mean that you might like them, I don't know, honestly, I don't know, I didn't know, and I didn't want to just ask, because back then, that was when my, my self esteem was not very high, to be honest, you know, if that had happened, and this was like 2003, if that happened in 19, if that happened 1993, that would have been a different, I would have been, I would have at least asked her out,

you know what I mean, if I would have got to, if she was letting me massage her feet, then I'm going to ask her for a date, even if she says no, you know, if it was the late 90's, I would have felt very more, much more confident, because I was much more confident in the late 90's than I was in the early 90's, but in 2000, 2003, not so much, not so much, that is, it was, because I was really doing, because I was doing the pain release stuff, and,

and, you know, really kind of working on that as well, even though I couldn't get any people to come along to me, or for me to come along to them, to their houses, this is weird I suppose, yes, I'd like to come into your house please, is that ok?

I'm a complete stranger, and I'd like to help you, like, with a therapy, like, yeah, no, you're alright, did you know, just reminded me, I can't believe the train of thought that's happening today, I've just been reminded, when I was a kid, and I'm talking 12, 13 time, I had a bit of an entrepreneurial spirit, I really did, genuinely, I wanted to be, I don't know if it was because of Del Boy, or, although Del Boy was a dodgy character, comedy character, but, but I wanted to, I wanted to have a business,

I started multiple businesses, that never got very far, I mean I used to lend money for a while at school, and the first part was easy, lending the money, that was easy, collecting it, not so much, so I knocked that on their head, that didn't turn very nice, so I stopped that, if you lend money, you have to be, well, you can't be nice, unfortunately, it's pretty much impossible, you can't be nice to everyone, and, yeah, so it wasn't my kind of thing, and then, I tried to do a business,

cleaning cars, but my dad wasn't having any of that, he said, well, if you want to clean the car, clean my car, and clean my van, clean your mum's car, and it was like, after that, I thought, I don't want to clean any more cars, and it was never done properly, you know, so, oh, you missed a bit, I said, why are you so fussy, he said, look, look, you've only cleaned half the car, you know, I don't expect you to clean the car that's also on the side of the road,

I said, yeah, but there's cars there, going past, he said, well, do you want me to actually drive the car to the end of the road, turn it around, so that you can do the other side, from the pavement, yes, please, that's when I realised that not all questions are actual questions, they're not all needing answers, so, not that on the head, and then, this time, I thought, I've been looking after my little brother for ages now, through the summer, in the evenings, you know, so, I'm an unpaid babysitter,

I was a kid, it's just what you do, and you've got no choice, but I thought, I should see if I can earn some money doing this, it's easy, just sit there watching kids' programmes, and that was at the same, it was at the right intellect for me as well, at that time, so, I put an advert, I think I even put an advert in the paper, and we got phone calls at the house, Jason, it's for you, my dad used to say, that's what my dad used to sound like,

Jason, have you done your homework yet, have you finished cleaning that car yet, you need to clean it, no, he didn't sound like that, he probably sounded like me, I think my dad does sound a bit like me, I think he does, but it's hard to tell, I can't remember, he does, I think, he speaks differently to me, but he's, yeah, anyway, so I did this business, started this business, I got leaflets printed, put them through people's doors, babysitting service, call this number, and I answered the phone, said hello, babysitting service,

call this number, that's the name of the business, that was silly, that was really silly, so, hello, babysitting service, call this number, and they said, is that babysitting services, call this number, I said, yes, it is, I can't continue with this, this is just silly, this is very, very ridiculous, and then they said, okay, so how much do you charge, and I think it was a little bit of a problem at the time, I think I probably said like, how much do you want to pay, and then it hung up,

so that didn't go well, and then I thought, okay, I did a little bit of research, and I thought, well, an hour, a pound an hour, and so, you know, so I started telling people a pound an hour, and I kept getting the same question, who's the babysitter, people are so fussy, they want to know everything, they want to know all the details, I mean, it's not like it's that important, but I said, well, I am, now, at the time, I had, my voice probably hadn't broken at that time,

so I was 12, 12 or whatever, so, hello, yeah, through to babysitting services, whatever it is, and they'd be like, oh, please call, now, and then they'd be like, so who's the babysitter, I am, I'm the babysitter, I didn't talk like that, I'm just saying, I'm trying to do a high-pitched voice, but it's probably not so well, so good, and they'd say, so you're the babysitter, I said, yeah, wouldn't you want me to come round, what's your address, I'd try and get them to sort of agree to do it,

and they'd say, well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, what's your name, that's where things went a little bit skiddy, a little bit, you know, a bit off-key, a bit, I said, well, it's Jason, now, I wish I said Michelle, it's Michelle, I'd have been fine, but as soon as I said Jason, but you're a boy, I said, yeah, I am, no, no thanks, nobody, and I do repeat, just for the real, you know, prominence of what I'm saying, nobody wanted a boy looking after their kids,

and this was, it would have been, it didn't matter that I was 12 years old, they were happy to have a girl, they did not want a boy, and I had quite a few telephone calls, to the point where I stopped answering, and my parents would answer, hello, he's a boy, goodbye, and that would be it, and unfortunately, my dad was an electrician, and he lost quite a lot of business that way, because he was talking to his own customers, but, you know, a couple of other people said, they phoned up,

said, have you got a new baby, no, why, well, you just answered the phone, you said it's a boy, and hung up, no, Jason's got another business venture, he thought that people would want a boy looking after their kids, who the hell would want a 12 year old boy looking after their precious children, they would just, no, they'd say, so, John, are you coming out to the pub tonight, he said, yeah, sure, who's looking after little Phillip, oh, Jason is, dadabum, dadabum, it's true, I would look after,

it was okay for me to look after a little kid, and everywhere I went, if I got a job in a chip shop, some bloke started working there, I could look after our kid while we go, we want to go out for a meal, or, you know, something like that, got to take my wife to hospital, it was like, some excuse, and they'd be like, okay, yeah, fine, in an emergency, yeah, it's fine, but, you know, if it's just a, it's weird, I didn't, I didn't want to be a babysitter as a career,

that wasn't like, oh, this is going to do forever, but you know what, I was good with kids, I'd looked after, I'd had my little brother for, hmm, what, how old, he was eight, I was eight when he was born, so nine, ten, eleven, twelve, so he was four, four years old when I was twelve, so I'd had four years of being with him, every day, and when I was like, twelve, thirteen, that's when, and I used to look after him and stuff, you know, during the summer holidays,

and my step mum started working, and then I was looking after him, you know, during the breaks, I'd get in there, in the evening, I'd get there, afternoon or whatever, after school, and look after him for an hour or whatever, before they got home, so yeah, I was looking after him, so I had a little bit of experience in that, I mean, so yeah, I don't know, so that business adventure didn't work, whatever business, I was going to sell number plates, that didn't really work out, I can't remember what other businesses I had,

I thought about writing a book, and I mentioned this earlier, I didn't even get to tell you about the book, the book stuff that I was going to do, I'll come back to that, it just reminded me, I've actually come all the way, circled all the way back, yeah, I like the idea of being my own boss, now I've talked about this before, there is, I don't know why, but I've started thinking about nice people that I've met, like really, really lovely people that I've met in my life,

that I've really respected, I'm probably not the most respectful, I've not been the most respectful person during my life, I've never really been too impressed with a lot of people, but probably more than I realise, I give credit for, I've just met so many wrong-uns over the years, but there was this particular man, and I met him when I was working in a chip shop, he was the carpet cleaner, he came in, I used to help him out, and part of my job in the chip shop,

I'd go and I'd help move the furniture around in the restaurant part, so he could do that, and it was actually a pleasure spending time with him, and occasionally I'd help him out, if he had a big job, I'd go and help him, and he'd pay me, and I'd help him, and it got to the point where I'd help him do this place, and then maybe there'd be another shop he needed to do, so he'd go and do that while this one was drying, and he was so lovely,

and he was an entrepreneur, he was doing other things as well, and I remember I went round his house in, it would have been probably 1989, so it was after I'd finished working at a chip shop, I went round his house, it might be 1990, and I was in his garden, and I really liked him, I didn't see him all the time, but I just used to go and visit him, he lived near where my nan lived, and we was in the garden, and he was just, I don't know what he was looking at, I think it was fields and stuff, and he said I'm moving away, I said what?

He said yeah, my wife's mum is unwell, and we're moving to wherever it was, another part of the country to look after her, so I don't know if they owned the house where they were renting, I've got no idea, but he said yeah, we're moving, moving soon, and I hadn't had a lot of contact with him recently, but I'd see him every now and then, but because I'd left the chip shop, I didn't see him regularly, and I wish I kind of just went and worked for him,

even if there wasn't enough, I did ask him for a job, but he didn't have enough work, but I'd have been better off working for him for practically nothing, until the business built up to be more popular, to the point where I could get some good money, because he's one of these people, and I hope he's still around, I hope he's had a brilliant life, it's a long time ago that I knew him, I can't even tell you what his name was, or name is, he's one of these people that contribute,

you know, that add something, you meet them, they add something to your life, something positive, and that's what he did for me, and he's not the only person, there's been a few, I'll maybe make a podcast one day, talking about all the people that have actually made a difference, but it's hard to remember everyone, and there are different people, I mean, until today, I'd forgotten about the, not forever forgotten, I mean I'd thought about it in the past, because it happened in the past, I suppose, but the babysitting service that I had,

I mean I had in 89, I had a, blimey, wow, when I was in the chip shop, so we're talking 87, 87, 86, 87, in 1987, I was trying to sell jewellery, or it might have been the beginning of 1988, I was trying to sell people jewellery, so I came up to London, I managed to get some money together, a little bit of money, not a lot, I don't know if I borrowed money or I sold everything I had, got some really, really cheap jewellery, it wasn't a horrible jewellery,

it was a hat and garden, it wasn't crap, it was just the price that you would pay for it, you know, because when you buy it from a shop, the huge amount of money is put on top, because they have to pay for the premises, the rent, the staff, the tax, all that stuff, so something that might cost you £1000 in a shop, in a jewellery shop, probably costs then no more than maybe a couple of hundred, if that, when they bought it, probably less actually, but, you know,

they've got to work out how many rings do they sell in a week, or in a month, or in a year, how much wages they've got to pay out, how much rent, maybe even just the, yeah, wow, yeah, it's a lot of expenses, so I did that and I sold a few bits, you know, I remember, this is weird, I remember coming back on the train from London Liverpool Street, so I've been to, is it Hat and Gardens, bought the jewellery, it was just like a shop,

you go in and just buy wholesale stuff, and I probably didn't spend much, I maybe spent £20, so it wasn't a huge amount of stuff there, but I was trying to sell it on the train coming back, I mean that was completely not my, I've never done anything like that in my life, never ever, I was literally walking up to people on the train, and sitting down and saying, I don't know if you're interested, they probably thought I'd stolen it or something, but I hadn't, you know, they were all,

they were in a carrier bag, so it probably didn't look very professional, didn't sell anything, I'm not sure if I sold any of it, I think I might have, I might have sold a few little bits and bobs, but I didn't, I wasn't successful, the only thing I ever sold, because I was trying to be a, I was trying to make a living, you know, earning a living, because the job wasn't paying me enough to live on, so I was using it as an opportunity to, meeting the customers,

trying to sell things to them, so one person told me there was something for sale, one customer, and I said OK, and then I'd try and sell it to another customer, not at the same time, because that would be counterproductive, because they could just talk to each other, couldn't they, and I'd, you know, add, try and make a little bit of money on the sale, and I don't think my boss at the time was impressed, because I was spending more of my time doing that than actually working,

I was still doing the job, but it was, that was what I was interested in, and the biggest success I had was I bought a fridge freezer for £15, advertised it in a local paper, which would have cost me about £5, and sold it for £45, so that was a good profit margin, bearing in mind I had £7 a week to live on, or £10 a week to live on from the job, so I was like, wow, this is going good, and so yeah, I was so pleased with that,

I remember the bloke saying to me, it's not stolen is it, I said, ask no questions, tell no lies, he said no, but seriously, it's not stolen, I said no, no, it's fine, he said, why did you say, ask no questions, tell no lies, and tap your nose, I said, it's just something out of a TV movie thing, he said, yeah, but why did you do that, I said, it was a joke, I was just pretending to be a dodgy, you know, like Arthur Daly type, he said, oh,

you mean like Del Boy, I said, yeah, like Del Boy, only fools and horses, he said, oh, ok, fair enough, but Del Boy did used to steal stuff, and sell stolen goods, as did Arthur Daly, I said, I know, but I'm not trying to be like them, just pretend to be, you know, characteristically, and he said, well, maybe you should develop your own personality, I said, I've got my own personality, he said, really, I said, yes, and that was it, he said, ok, there you go, he gave me a cheque,

gave me a cheque, and you know what people told me, because I was so excited, you know, guess what, I was telling everyone, I sold, I bought a fridge, freezer, guess how much, 15 pound, guess how much I sold it for, 45 pound, I might not have said it like that, but I was so proud of myself, and they said, how did you get paid, how did they pay you, have you got the cash, have you got, you can pay me the money you owe me now, silly thing,

I shouldn't have mentioned that, I said, oh, no, no, I might not, I said, yes, and look at this everyone, and I showed everyone a cheque, 45 pound of a cheque, and they laughed at me, they said, it won't cash, you won't, you'll put that in, it'll bounce, I said, I don't think so, and I dropped it on the floor, see, it's just laying there, they said, no, bounce, bounce, you know what bounce means, I said, yes, I've earned a ball, I've earned, no, I was a kid, I didn't know what bounce,

cheque and bounce meant, I didn't even have a cheque book at that time, I was 16, 17 or whatever, 16, and he said, no, it won't, it's not, the money, when you put that cheque and you go to cash it at the bank tomorrow, they won't give you any money, I said, why, I said, because they won't, I said, why, and someone said, well, you have to put it into your bank account, and it probably takes five days anyway, because it's 1987, I said, oh, yeah, true, remembering that,

and especially it was just a savers account, because I didn't have a cheque account, because I wasn't, I think I was old enough at that time to have one, and they said, like, no, it won't, it's just, but you know what, it did, it cashed, the money went in, £45, I felt like I'd won the lottery, I say that, because, I mean, I don't know what it's like to win the lottery, or what it would actually feel like to win the lottery, but, you know, that £45 was, I think the right word is boon, it was much of a boon, I don't know what boon means, but it's like an uplifting good thing, it was definitely a boon, a boon.

Anyway, what was I going to say, oh, yeah, what was I going to, just, there are a lot of Facebook, watch out for this, I'll tell you, first of all, watch out for these spiritual pictures, people saying, oh, I can, I can, if you pay me money, I will draw a picture of you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you,

and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you,

and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you, The thing is, even though I'm not a celebrity or anything, so the chances of many people wanting to read my life story, it's just weird to think about, like, so much happens in a lifetime doesn't it?

In 50 odd years, it's a long time to try and fit into a book. So I don't know. We'll see.

So, this is number 13. Just to give you an example, this is an in-depth summary of the transcript from your podcast episode number 13, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, recorded on the April 11th, 2018. Introduction and Self-Reflection Jason Newland begins with a light-hearted welcome, joking about not expecting to produce these episodes so frequently or become famous through them.

Oh, blimey. That word again. He mentions his current discomfort with a pulled muscle in his neck and back.

Huh. Don't remember that. He explains the podcast is designed for listeners to relax and drift into sleep, emphasising that listeners should only listen in a safe environment where they can close their eyes.

Newland, Newland again, recounts a comment on his YouTube channel from Beanytown Vlogs who found this session useful for reducing anxiety. Jokingly states that he intended to increase anxiety but recognises the interconnectedness of anxiety, stress, insomnia and chronic pain. What? Rambling amusings.

Reflects on his time in the Sea Cadets, which is something I spoke about recently, a youth organisation that prepares children for a potential career in the Navy. Shares that his memories are hazy and uninteresting but remembers the ranking system similar to the Navy. Laments briefly forgetting a point he intended to make.

Routine and Creativity, this is number 5, highlights the importance of routine, pointing out that chaotic lifestyles can lead to hardship in society. I don't know what that was about. Reflects on how creativity and worry can lead to imagining endless negative scenarios, likening this to ability to Whitney Houston only singing in private.

OK. Some of that seemed to make sense, I think. Mental distractions and self-awareness, so it's like basically going through the whole thing and then what I can do is just expand on a certain thing and then it does.

So, I'll give you an example, I think 12, I think I asked it to expand. OK. Or it's 10 maybe.

11? Err. Err. Oh right, OK.

So this is number 11. And there's a bit where it says something about me talking, relates, yeah. Yawning and bodily functions, number 7, relates a personal story about stifling yawns during conversations in his teenage years.

So I asked for it to expand on that one. And it says, In this podcast episode, Jason Newland records a personal story from his teenage years involving the struggle to stifle yawns. He describes an experience when he was 17 or 18 years old and stayed up late engaging in conversations until the early hours of the morning.

To avoid showing that he was tired, he would press his tongue against the roof of his mouth to suppress yawns. He notes how he doesn't bother with that anymore and just allows himself to yawn naturally, even if someone asks if he is bored. He humorously adds that he doesn't want to delve deeply into the science behind why yawning happens, but simply attributes it to tiredness.

He compares yawning to other natural bodily functions like farting, which people usually do not question either. So each one of those things that I talk about, I kind of get expanded on. So it's going to take hundreds and hundreds of hours of like working through it to find, to put together, you know, a thing.

There you go. My plan is to do it as a Kindle book. That's my plan.

That's my plan. Best laid plans and all that. I'm going to go close this up.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself and remember to be gentle with yourself because you do deserve to be happy. And I will speak to you again tomorrow.

Lots of love. Bye.