(no music) #1071 - BAFTAS - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (19th February 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Oh dear. Hello.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. It is Monday the 19th of February 2024. Remind me another month and it'll be six years since I started doing this podcast.

And I realise that only seems like a minute, I mean since this particular recording I'm talking about since I did the very first Let Me Bore You To Sleep March 2018. And here I am still plodding along, not really knowing what I'm doing or why I'm still just chatting. Why you may ask? That's a very good question.

Isn't it weird now I've noticed this. I watch interviews, you know, on the news, YouTube stuff like that, interviews and one other thing that I've noticed is said in pretty much every interview is that sentence I just said. That's a very good question.

That's a very good question. And it just, why are you saying that? That's a very good question. Yeah, we'll just answer it then.

That's a very, that's a very good question. Oh, what was it? The BAFTAs. Let's have a look.

For those that don't want to know the results of the BAFTAs then stop listening now because I'm going to be talking about the BAFTAs. Even though I didn't watch it or haven't watched it. I don't know when they're showing it.

But they've been talking about it on they, whoever they are. It's been discussed in the media. So let's have a look.

The winners. Oh, shut up. I don't want to watch a video.

I want to just see in written form. Oh, okay. Nope, even that.

Google's getting harder to deal with, seriously. It's like just give me the information. Thank you.

That's it. Right. So the BAFTAs, I don't know what it stands for.

The BAFTA Film Awards, British Art Film Travel Awards. I don't know. British Art Film TIT.

I don't know what the T stands for. But I'm pretty sure it's British Art and Film. Oh, theatre, isn't it? British Art, Film and Theatre Awards.

Yeah, they call it the BAFTA Film Awards. It's the BAFTA Awards. So even the A unless it's British Art, Film, Theatre and Acting Awards.

Anyways, it's one of those. I could look it up. But it's more fun guessing.

That's why I like to. So let's have a look. So winning the winners of the best film was Oppenheimen.

So that was the winner. Anatomy of a Fall. These are the ones that were nominated.

Poor Things, Killers of the Flower Moon, The Holdovers, Anatomy of a Fall and Oppenheimen. That was the winner. So Lead Actress.

So you had Margaret Robbie for Barbie, Vivienne O'Perra for Rai Lane. I don't know. Alexandra Huller for Anatomy of a Fall.

Fantasia Barrino. It's not a real name. It's not Tracy or Sue.

Fantasia. That's not a name, is it? That's a made up thing. The Colour Purple.

No, they haven't remade The Colour Purple. Surely not. They didn't even remake it.

That's just. Oh, God, you know what? That's just gone and done. They.

Filmmakers. The people who like to ruin old films. And Roadhouse has been remade.

Roadhouse. You don't mess with perfection. That.

Oh, no. I mean, I can see they could have. You know, I mean, looking at some of the the more action packed movies of today and how much the fight scenes and stuff, you know, Denzel Washington and Keanu Reeves.

And Liam Neeson and all that, you know, the the action fighting scenes are like nonstop. So I can see how they could probably improve that side of the movie. But it wasn't just about that.

It was it was the whole thing. It. It was Patrick Swayze.

It was about, you know, he's the one that. It was him. We thought you'd be bigger.

Everyone see us there. It was it was about him. He was Roadhouse.

And. They're like, you mean where his name is playing the one that was in Brokeback Mountain, the one that's that didn't die. He's he's in it, he's stoned and it's like, oh.

No, I don't we don't need another Brokeback. No, no. Perhaps we could do another Brokeback Mountain.

And. But don't even know a color purple. We don't need another Roadhouse.

We don't just do something new. Do something new. Lead an actor.

So he got. T.O.U. The Past Lives. Barry Keoghan for Saltburn.

Paul Giamatti, The Holdover. Coleman Domingo for Rustin and Bradley Cooper for Meastro Meastro. And the lead actor winner is Cillian Murphy with Oppenheimen.

So that is. Good for you. Cool.

Supporting actress. So you've got Rosamund Pike for Saltburn. Sandra Houler, The Zone of Interest.

I've not heard of a lot of these movies. I've heard of Saltburn because that's on Netflix, I think. Or it's on one of the streaming channels.

The Zone of Interest, All of Us, Strangers, The Holdovers. I've not heard of any of those movies before. And.

No. So you've got Claire Foy, All of Us, Strangers. Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple.

Emily Blunt, Oppenheimen. And the winner is. Divine.

Joy Randolph, The Holdovers. I thought Emily Blunt won something. Okay, never mind.

She's on the cover of a lot of articles about the BAFTAs. So you've got supporting actor. So these are the candidates.

Dominic Sessa, The Holdovers. Paul Meskel, All of Us, Strangers. Ryan Gosling, Barbie.

Jacob Elordi, Saltburn. Robert De Niro, Killers of the Killer Moon, The Flower Moon. And the winner, Robert Downey Jr. for Oppenheimen.

Okay. So then you've got director. So there's one, two, three, four, five, six here nominated.

The Zone of Interest, Jonathan Galagier. Not heard of that movie. Maestro.

I wonder if that's like a sort of connected to the Oppenheimen. Maestro, Bradley Cooper. He directed that.

The Holdovers, Alexander Payne, Anatomy of a Fall, Justin Triette, All of Us, Strangers, Andrew Haig. The winner. Yep, you remember, you guessed.

Christopher Nolan for the Oppenheimen. So then you've got EE BAFTAs Rising Star Award voted by the public. EE being a mobile phone network.

Yay. Rising Star voted by the public. So you got Sophie Wilde, Jacob Elordi, Ayo Edibiri, Phoebe Denevore.

And the winner is Mia McKenna-Bruce. Outstanding British film. So you got Wonka, Scrapper, Saltburn, Ride Lane, Poor Things, The Old Oak, Napoleon, How to Have Sex, All of Us, Strangers.

And the winner. I don't know where it is. The Zone of Interest.

Okay. Film not in the English language. Okay.

This is confusing me. Outstanding British film. But then the film not in the British language is the same winner as the outstanding British film.

The Zone of Interest. Film not in the English language. How can that be winner of the Zone of Interest if it's a British film? Why would they make a British film that's not in English language? I don't get it.

I'm gonna have to check this one out because it doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't. Sorry.

I mean, surely if it's a British film, it would be in English, wouldn't it? I mean, is that a weird thing to think? Maybe it is. Maybe it is. Okay.

So it's not a British film. The Zone of Interest is a 2023 Polish historical drama film written and directed by Jonathan Glazer, loosely based on a 2014 novel by Martin Amis. Okay.

It was a co-production between the United Kingdom and Poland. So, okay, it was partly produced by the United Kingdom. So let's have a look.

Do do do do do do do do. Languages German, Polish and Yiddish. Countries United Kingdom, Poland, United States.

So it's a foreign, foreign movie as such. No English people. Yes.

No, he's German. The star's a German actor. They probably speak English.

Well, so I don't know. I'm confused. A little bit confused.

The Zone of Interest premiered to critical acclaim on the new aggregator website Rotten Review Aggregator. It got 93% of 290 views are positive for the film. Kevin Maher of The Times called it a landmark movie, hugely important, that's unafraid of difficult ideas.

Well, that sounds like a big bunch of laughs, doesn't it? Okay. When I said that, I didn't know what the subject matters were about. Okay.

Okay, just let you know that just just, I didn't know what it was about. And I just read on a little bit called it a devastating Holocaust drama, like no other. I didn't know it was a Holocaust drama.

Before I said it doesn't sound like a bundle of laughs. Okay. I didn't realize that I'm going to move on very swiftly.

Pitter patter, pitter patter of my feet, pretending none of this ever happened. I'm not talking about the Holocaust. I'm talking about, you know, me, judging the movie for not being funny.

And there's no reason why it would be funny. It's just the way they describe it. It's very serious.

And of course, it is a very, very serious subject. And I didn't know that when I was, I didn't know, never heard of the movie before. It's the first time.

And now I wish I'd not mentioned it. Because it's not something I particularly want to watch, to be honest with you. It's, I don't need everything I watch to be funny.

I don't, you know, I do have an ability to watch serious things. But on a sort of, yeah, I don't mind serious movies. But it's kind of, I see films as under the umbrella of, don't call me, I mean, it might be an old fashioned view, or maybe a view not shared by many people ever.

Entertainment. And, you know, if I want to, if I want real life, if I want to spend time seeing horrible things, I just put the news on, read a newspaper, go outside. I don't know, just generally I quite like things to not be too real in the entertainment side of things that I watch on the television.

For example, I do I do quite like end of the world stuff. You know, post apocalypse kind of things. I do quite like that because it's it's not real.

I mean, it's becoming more real, I realise, but it's, it's kind of fantasy, but also like, oh, what if, rather than what actually happened? Like, nah, I don't, not so much into historical stuff that really happened, that was not very nice. Apart from the Vikings, because it was long enough ago to not really be too bothered. Which is weird, is that you watch the Vikings.

And if you watch something about, you know, because they had slaves, and they were doing horrible, horrible things. But it's kind of entertaining, because it's historical. But you know, to be fair, how much of it is true? How can we really know what happened 800 years ago? You know, not really.

I mean, I know people that tell me stuff that happened yesterday. And I know for a fact that it's not true. Or it's exaggerated.

So if you can't keep facts going for one day, can you really keep them going for 800 years? Probably not. Things get distorted. But it was written down.

Yeah, but what if people find, you know, books of Harry Potter in 6000 years time, find one of them buried, like, well, they think, oh, things were a lot different, weren't they? In the 90s? Might do 3000 years ago, wouldn't be saying the 90s, would they? But you know, 3000 years ago, there was wizards and stuff. I'd need to watch more of the movies to be able to expand upon that sentence.

But you know, I mean, it's, they might think it's some kind of religion.

They might think it was real. So I mean, I think it was a factual as opposed to just made up for fun. Made up for fun.

Just a bit of fun. It's not real. No.

Unless of course it is. In that case, I apologize for for not believing. So that was it.

So I'm good. I think I moved away from that now. From the zone of interest blindly.

I'm not going to be watching that anytime soon. It's I mean, I remember watching Schindler's List. Just regretting it.

Because it's just I didn't need didn't need to watch it. I didn't you know, it's one of my friends at the time was a real proper film buff. And he is like really knew a lot about movies.

And he always picked movies to watch that were well reviewed and everything like that. And because Schindler's List was such a big movie, very long movie as well, if I remember rightly. And make a certain that they obviously didn't realize they're going to make much money out of it.

Otherwise, they'd have invested in some color cameras. But it was the thing is, I'd seen documentaries upon that subject at school. We've documented film footage.

So, you know, I kind of already knew what happened, you know, and it's yeah, I don't really it's just not my thing, really, I guess. Although I did read a book, I've still got it. Let me turn around and see.

It's a very important book. Oh, where is it? Where is it? Here we go. Victor E. Frenkel, Man's Search for Meaning, the classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust.

So I read this in 2002. I remember. And I think it was December, no, it's the end of November time, 2002.

And it was it's a very important book. And I feel I've got more from that than watching. I don't want to see it, to be honest.

Really. I'd rather read about someone's experiences and how it affected them personally. And so you know, in a situation like that.

But it's not it's supposed to be an uplifting book. And it is in some ways. Because he's talking about logotherapy, which is a therapy that he, he kind of created based upon people going through things like that, and how it can.

I need to read it again, because I'm not doing it much justice. And it's very powerful book, very powerful. And yeah, I'm not talking anymore about it, but I'll have to reread it.

It's not a big book. It's only 153 pages, 153, 154 pages. Although I've noticed that some of the writing is too small.

I tried to look at my little Gideon's New Testament this morning. And I can't read it. The writing is too small, way too small for my eyes.

Let me have a look. I'm not sure how much it was the light. But no, the writing.

Then came the feast of dedication. Okay, I can read it, but it's tiny, tiny letters. It's not, it's not doable.

It's just not doable. Used to be able to. Even the New Testament, it's not a lot of pages, really.

If you move away from the palms, all that stuff. Okay, right. Okay, well, the whole, the whole thing is like 765 pages, which isn't a lot, really missed the little pages.

Let's just pick something out to see. See what I liked about the New Testament, and it is Gideon's, isn't it? Is it Gideon's? The Gideon's International for the British Isles. By the way, I'm not trying to convert anyone here.

I'm just this, this book, actually, this little book here, not this particular individual book, but a version of this book helped me get through quite a difficult period when I was at school, when my dad was ill. And my dad had this big thing in his neck, and he had to have it removed. And I don't know, I just became very Christian for a while.

I mean, technically, I was, I mean, I lived in a, I lived in a children's home with Catholic nuns. So I was a Catholic for a while, church in the garden, praying every day and all that stuff. So it's pretty full on.

But with the Christianity, that was more, you know, the schools when I went to school, pretty much all schools were Christian schools. That was just the way it was or Church of England. And it was just standard, that was part of the society.

I'm not sure if it's like that anymore. But we used to sing hymns. You know, things like all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things white and wonderful.

God made them all. That's when I'd like open mouth very wide and pretend to know the words. I remember I went through five years of that.

I just can't remember, you know, I don't know what to do. Just five years in the fifth year about to leave school, the day before leaving, it's like five years of sitting at the thing, you know, singing, singing in a big group, you know, assembly every morning, Monday to Friday for five years and never knowing what to sing. I didn't know what the words were.

I remember one of my friends next to me saying, why don't you just look at the book? The book's got words in it. It's a hymn book. It's like, oh, blimey.

Is that what that was? All those years. I thought it was just something to put my bogeys on. The pages in the front of this book give the following guidance.

Where to help find when. Guidance. Daily readings.

So what I quite liked is be able to look at stuff when you're feeling um, let's have a look. Coping with failure. What am I coping? What am I going through at the moment? What's my thing? Uh, insolent, intimidated, lonely.

No, I don't get lonely. Needing guidance, needing peace, newly retired. I don't remember that being in it.

Mind you, I probably wouldn't have read it, would I? Because I was only 12. Probably wouldn't have, oh, that wouldn't have been the first thing I jumped at, would it? What are you doing, Jason? You got your good inspiration? Yeah, yeah. What section are you reading? Well, I've had a bit of problem sleeping, so I've been looking at the sleepless section.

What about you? Well, I was insulted by the teacher, so I'm reading that one. What about you, Jason? Newly retired. I'm just gonna check that one out.

After that, I'll look into drug abuse. Um, still thankful. I'm sure they've changed these.

I'm sure drug abuse wasn't in there before. Uh, divorce. Blimey.

No, I'm pretty sure there was a much wider list of things to get advice for, and they weren't the ones that are in here now. Unless I'm wrong. I mean, let's have a look at the date on this.

Is there a date? No, no, I think they, I mean, they, they've churned billions of these things out, don't they? Over the years, so I'm sure they update them. Afraid of people. Angry with people.

Okay, yeah, I'm angry with someone. 451. Okay, let's have a look.

See what this one. 451. 451.

Okay. Ephesians 4. 29 to 32. 29 to 32.

Four. I can't read it. It's just way too small.

29. Four. Oh, come on.

I need a light. 29. Okay.

Do not let any unwholesome. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were.

Get what? With whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. I don't understand it. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in. See, what I get from this is forgetting all the God stuff and everything is for me, and the same with Buddhism and other religions is I look for those sentences that have meaning, regardless of where it comes from. Like, you could just have a sentence and like, okay, it's, there's truth in that and it could be transformative.

It could be a useful thing to a useful guide, but not connecting it to some kind of belief system. So, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, and do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, and according to their needs, I mean, that it may benefit those who listen. I mean, that's, that's really powerful.

It's like important, and then go on, do not grieve the Holy Spirit. No, no, just, let's just move that bit away. Let's just keep it on its own, without any holy stuff.

It's like, be nice to people. Yeah, be nice. See that, it's something that I can kind of relate to.

I mean, I've got a book here. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there it is. Now, I'm not sure if it's, yeah, here we go.

This is my oldest book. I've had this since about 1995, and it cost me 25 pound. Seriously, I've still got the price, the price on it.

25 pound in 1995. So, blimey, imagine how much that would be now. And this is called The Teaching of Buddha, and it's both in Chinese and in English.

Or, I mean, I don't know if it's Mandarin and English. I don't know. It's by code, it might be Japanese.

I'm really not sure, to be honest with you. Tokyo, Japan. That's going to be Japanese, isn't it? Buddha's wisdom is broad as the ocean, and his spirit is full of great compassion.

Okay, so this, how many pages? 700, 800, 500, just over 600 pages. So, each page is English, and then there's Japanese on the next one. But kind of similarly to the Gideon's Bible, at the back this time, instead of at the front, there is advice you can get.

The Teachings of Buddha Index. So, for example, the meaning of life, actual state of the world, ideal way of living, wrong viewpoints of life, a correct notion of life, a prejudiced life, to those who are deluded, 20 things that are difficult, but valuable for ordinary persons to accomplish. Just different things that can be useful.

Okay, maybe it's not quite the same, but truth. So, there's got mental training, one should discern what is of the most importance to oneself. I've just got faith, human life, the five things that no one can accomplish in this world.

Oh, should have a look at that. Page 95. Line 10.

Page 95. Page 95. 95.

Line 10. So, okay, here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Okay. All right. Okay, that's been silly.

I was looking at the wrong page. I can't do, I can't speak Japanese. If I was going to read, I was like, okay, squiggly line, another squiggly line, got the straight lines with the squiggly line through it.

Some more squiggly lines. Yeah. Which is probably what English looks like to people from other countries.

It just probably looks weird, doesn't it? Like all language looks weird to people that anything looks weird if you don't know what it is, I guess. But my toenails. Okay.

There are five things which no one is able to accomplish in this world. This is, by the way, this is not my words. This is the words in the book.

So don't have a go at me. The first, to cease growing old when he is growing old. So something which one is unable, unable.

No one is able to accomplish. To cease growing old. To cease being sick.

To cease dying. To deny existence when there is existence. Extinction.

To deny exhaustion. Things which no one is able to accomplish. So you can't deny exhaustion, people get exhausted.

Can't deny extinction. We all get, we all become extincted. Death, being sick, getting old.

And that's it. So ordinary people in this world sooner or later run into these things, these facts, and most people will suffer consequently. But those who have heard the Buddhist teachings do not suffer because they understand that they are just unavoidable.

So yeah, okay, that wasn't quite as funny as I thought it would be. But the truth is that everything is impermanent and passing and egoless, have no connection with the fact of Buddhist appearance, appearing or not appearing in the world. These truths are certain Buddhist.

Okay, so, okay, this, this, what I like is way of the practical attainment. I like the stories. I've got another book which has got stories in.

The Relief Offered by the Buddha. Let's have a look. The Relief Offered by the Buddha.

Okay, I'm just reading through it. I shouldn't leave too much gaps of silence, should I? Did they just repeat that? Okay, I'll move on from that. So that's a good one.

What I do have here is, is another little book called The Sayings of the Buddha, the Dhammapada. And this is, let's have a look at other ones. The first, so it's basically quite pithy.

I learned that word in 2004. It might be in 2003, December, or maybe January, February 2004. We are what we think, this is Choices.

This is the first chapter in this book. It's only a little book. We are, I'm not going to read the whole thing, don't worry.

It might be a little bit, still take me a couple of hours probably to read it. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make the world. Speak or act with an impure mind, and trouble will follow you. As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.

A little bit dated that bit, isn't it? It's a little bit. Anyway, we are what we think. All that arises, all that we are arises with our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make the world. Speak or act with a pure mind, and happiness will follow you as your shadow, unshakable. So it says here, look how he abused me and beat me.

How he threw me down and robbed me. Live with such thoughts and you live in hate. Look how he abused me and beat me.

How he threw me down and robbed me. Abandon such thoughts and live in love. And that's a hard one to do.

It's a hard one to ask. It's a hard ask. But it's kind of true really, you know, the only way to move on is to just stop thinking about stuff like that.

You know, because it just keeps it going otherwise. It's like trying to juggle hot coals. In this world, hate never yet dispelled hate.

Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. It's hard to argue with that really, isn't it? In this world, hate never yet dispelled hate.

So you can't get rid of hate. You can't get rid of hate with hate. You can't.

You just can't. This is the way it is. In fact, I would say it's ancient and inexhaustible.

So we'll see the next bit. You too shall pass away knowing this. How can you quarrel? I like to think of it the other way.

That person, and this is, I guess, a little bit heavy, but I've just, this is how I think to be honest with you. If someone's done something, there's a particular, there's some people that have, let's not go into it. But anyway, I think that person, I don't wish harm on anyone.

But the reality is that that person is really, really gonna have a bad time there. Because they're human. And that's just what comes from being alive, good times and bad times.

So nothing I can do to that person is going to be worse than what's going to happen to them anyway. Especially if they continue down the road they're going, someone else will do much worse to them, or life itself will be bad, you know. So I kind of think that way.

And when I think about, you know, I learned something when I was in call center the first time, the first call center. And I was speaking to this man and he was horrible, just rude right from the start. He phoned me, well he didn't phone me personally, but he phoned for a car insurance quotation.

And every question I asked him is like, what do you need to know that for? I need to know your name, don't I? What do you need to know that for? What's your car details? Car insurance? It's like just it's everything awkward, every opportunity could be awkward. He was, this went on for about 35 minutes, really dragged the call on. And then right at the end of the thing, one of the last questions was, have you got any medical conditions?

And medical, you know, physical medical conditions.

And he said, yeah, I've just been diagnosed with Parkinson's. And as soon as he said that, I just felt better. Okay, I should refrain the way I say that.

About him, I mean, I felt compassionate. And for some reason, instantly, we got on, best friends. In fact, he ended up adopting me.

He's now my mum. No, it's, we got on really well. It's like he's, I couldn't, I really couldn't judge anyone for being in a bad mood after, you know, just being in that situation he's in.

And not wanting to deal with something as mundane as getting car insurance. I mean, it's a shame anyone has to go through that, to be honest. It's not a pleasant experience.

But he, you know, I just, I learned from that. I learned and started using that in the future. So when I'd see someone that was rude to me, who I didn't know, maybe, I don't know, just, if I worked in a shop, or I had a job, which was customer facing, and the person was rude to me on the phone, the person was rude, I would try and think, well, there's a reason for that.

They're hurting. They're upset about something. And it just makes it a little bit easier.

Not that I'm not happy that they're hurting. I've just, it's just, it's, there's a reason. And it's not me, it's not, they're not, they don't have a big issue with me, usually, it might be me, but generally, if someone's just in a foul mood, right from the beginning, unless it's, you know, an ex girlfriend of mine or something, so I could understand it.

But other than that, I ain't done nothing. I don't even know you. Don't even know you.

You're a stranger to me. And I wish you'd continue to be a stranger. But it's something when, like, just, we're all allowed to be mood, moody, we're all allowed to have a grumpy day.

We're humans, innit? Most of us. What does it say here? You are the lamp to lighten the way. Then hurry, hurry.

Go and play. I didn't, I just added that bit. When your light shines purely, you will not be born and you will not die.

I don't, I'm not sure where we're going. I think we missed a bit out of this. Okay.

If this world and next, in this world, the greatest impurity is ignorance. Free yourself from it. Be pure.

Life is easy for the man who is without shame. Impudent is a crow. A vicious gossip, vain, meddlesome, dissolute, impotent as a crow.

Life is easy for the man who is without shame. Impotent as a crow. A vicious gossip, vain, meddlesome, dissolute.

Are we without shame? I thought blame. Did I say blame? Is without shame. Yeah.

A vicious gossip. Yeah. Okay.

I'm getting it. It took me a while. Yeah.

Okay. It's, I don't know. There's no fire like passion.

There are no chains like hate. Illusion is a net. Desire, a rushing river.

How easy is it to see your brother's faults? How hard to face your own. You winnow his in the wind like chaff. But yours you hide like a cheat covering up in an unlucky throw.

I don't know what winnow means or chaff. I don't know what chaff is. I don't know what chaff is.

Dwelling on your brother's faults multiplies your own. You are far from the end of your journey. The way is not in the sky.

The way is in the heart. See how you love whatever keeps you from your journey. Okay.

If you determine your course with force of spirit, you miss a word of the law. Actually, how did I get to that? Anyway. The world.

Old age. Okay. Old age.

Here we go. This is for me. No, I'm not going to read this.

This is a bit too grim. No, not that one either. Let's have another look.

Mischief. Be quick to do good. If you are slow, the mind of delighted, the mind delighting in mischief will catch you.

Turn away from mischief again and again. Turn away before sorrow befalls you. Set your heart on doing good.

Do it over and over again and you'll be filled with joy. See, I, I, I believe that. But I believed that before I read all this stuff.

I just think that if you do good and everything else will come together. I think I try even little things like opening a door for someone, regardless of gender. I don't care.

Like someone's someone's coming out of the petrol station or they're behind me. I always look behind me to see and, and I let them, I open the door for them or keep the door open. And the amount of people that don't do that, that don't even, I think some people just walk forward in their life and then never look back.

They don't even think about what's just happened. And that's not me. I don't, I don't do that.

But it seems that some people, it appears that they do that. So I was in the petrol station yesterday and I was walking out and there was a woman in front of me and she opened the door and she let the door close behind her, even though she knew I was behind her. And she didn't look back.

She just kept walking. I mean, I'm just, it's my perception. It's my imagination, but it's almost like she, no consequence, like what just happened has disappeared.

The petrol station doesn't exist anymore because she's now looking at her car. The pain for the petrol is gone. It's a memory, it's gone.

It's no longer valid. She's now focused on the car. When she gets in the car, she'll go home and then she'll be focused when she gets out the car on going to her house and the car won't exist anymore.

It's just that that whole journey is gone. Completely unimportant. Won't.

I don't know. This is my imagination. Someone came into the petrol station with their pajamas and a dressing gown on.

I had to say something. I said, this, I don't mean to be rude, right? But this is a public place. This is a public place.

How can you be, can you just like, you come in here, it's raining outside, you come in here with your dressing gown on and your slippers and it's just, it's inappropriate because we all have to dress up. I've got a raincoat on, my little brolly, little hat brolly that I've got and wellington boots on my hands. You walk in here with a dressing gown on and I heard this voice shout from the back, back of the, back of the thing, back of the store, right near the fridge section.

Oi, leave my five-year-old daughter alone. Okay, I'm just saying, just, that's a weird noise. It's just, do you hear that crinkling? That's weird.

She can wear whatever she wants. I said, I agree. Now I agree.

I didn't before until you turned up. No, I didn't. That's weird.

There's some strange noises being made. Oh, please don't say the recording studio's breaking. Why would it do that? Why? Why? Someone tell me why.

Why, why, why, why, wonder why? She went away. This is Monday. I ordered some food from, there's this place called Wiltshire Foods.

They make cooked food. It's basically for old people. Pre-cooked meals that you stick in the microwave.

You can put it in the oven, but it's generally that. And I've ordered a bunch of movies, a bunch of meals, so they'll come soon. And that's what I did when I first moved in here.

And part of the reason is because I don't cook for myself. I don't cook food. I've been eating breakfast cereal pretty much for the last couple of months, trying to lose a little bit of weight.

I do eat food as well, but you know, I've been cutting down a bit. And I think I've lost a few pounds. And I haven't, you know, I don't really cook for myself anymore.

So these ready-made meals will be all in the freezer and I'll just have two a day and hopefully they'll all just, it'll be good for me because I'll have a bit, a few more, a variation of vegetables and etc. You know, just there'll be a nice mixture of different things. So yeah, that was boring, wasn't it? That was really boring.

I'm turning into a pensioner. I am. I'm only 15 and I'm a pensioner already.

Can't believe it. Can you imagine what this would have been like when I was 15? First of all, I'd be like, hello! I've got a high-pitched voice back then. I mean, I know I'm not the most, well, I've got the deepest voice now.

But yeah, what would I have spoken about? That's something I'd love to have done. This. All through my life.

You know, all the way through my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, my teenage years, everything. All the way through. Just to see, I mean, it'd be blimey.

Huge amounts of recordings. But just to see how I'd changed as a person and what I had to say at the time about specific events that occurred in my life. Yeah, I suppose I've got the last six years and maybe the next six years.

I really don't know. It'd just be so cool. Imagine when I was a security guard or when I was able to have girlfriends.

Just the things I could have talked about. Blimey. Well, that's it really.

I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I really am.

Thank you very much for listening. Remember, please remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Remember to be gentle, gentle with yourself.

And that includes your thoughts. Notice, try and notice when you're being harsh to yourself internally. Okay, I should rephrase that.

It's all about your thoughts. Okay. And thinking.

When you're just being, you know, maybe just a bit harsh towards yourself, thinking wise, maybe just stop. And just literally you could say stop. And it's an old thing that I've been saying for, blimey, over a decade is just freeze that thing that you were saying to yourself.

You're directing towards yourself, maybe hostility or aggression or blame or maybe worse. And the question is, would you say that to a small child? Someone that you really cared about, or even someone just a little kid in the street. Would you go up to a six year old kid in the street and say that to them? Knowing that you would have an instant effect.

Or would you say it to someone like a small child that you love dearly? Now, hopefully the answer is no to both those questions. So if it's not good enough for them, it's not good enough for you. If it's not acceptable to say it to them, it's not acceptable to say it to yourself.

And then it vanishes. Because those thoughts don't like to be questioned. They don't like to be challenged.

Because quite often we'll go through, sometimes people go through their whole life and never challenge any of that crap that goes on in their head. Any of that judgmental stuff towards themselves. Maybe they just accept it.

Maybe they don't even notice it. We'll start challenging it. Start noticing it.

And when you do, it disappears because it can't stay there anymore. It doesn't like being challenged. It moves on.

Cannot stand it. It refuses to be challenged. It just gets destroyed.

It just dissolves. And the more the more of those thoughts and thinkings of no use to you that get dissolved and destroyed, kind of sets a pattern out so that your mind automatically stops allowing such things to occur. No longer allows your mind to think that way.

Unless it's positive or loving. Hence the be kind to yourself. And I know there's some people question the whole thing is, oh you mean I deserve to be happy? It's just like a little soundbite or something.

No, actually, you do deserve to be happy. You might question that. Why? Well, first of all, why not? Why not? Why shouldn't you be happy? Why shouldn't you have some happiness? I'm not talking about all the time because that's not human.

It's not life. We all have to deal with stuff. But you deserve to have some happiness.

And you may question that like, well, why? Why? Because even if you don't know it, you've helped people. There are people that you've really made a difference to. And you know what? It could even be due to bad behavior.

And you might think, what do you mean? How can I help people with bad behavior? Let me let me explain it to you. We're all affected, you know, we get affected by what happens around us, what we see, what we hear, what we experience, what we witness. And whenever, for example, there's a serious car accident, like in a village or town, people start driving safer.

It's automatically, which could save lives, ultimately could save lives in the future. People see someone drunk and acting stupid, doing something silly. Some people might think it's funny, some people might think, I don't want to do that.

I don't want to act like that. And it changes the projection of their life, moves them away from that instead of towards it, transforming their entire life. But also other ways, you know, sometimes a smile, just being friendly to someone can have a huge impact.

Because we don't know what's going on in people's minds, you see someone, they're just in a supermarket and just, you don't know that they've got the weight of the world on their shoulders. But sometimes just by helping them, maybe they drop something on the floor and you help pick it up. It can give them that little bit of faith in humanity that maybe they're temporarily lost.

Or perhaps there is nice people out there. And again, that can transform not only their immediate future, because we don't know what people's intentions are, but also long term as well. Just the smallest thing can have just such an amazing, hugely positive impact.

So yeah, we all have helped other people, even without knowing it. So when I say at the end of these recordings, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. It's not platitude, it's generally not.

I've given great thought to this. And I could talk for another hour, if I have done in the past, about exactly what I mean. So there.

So there. I know what I mean when I say it. Being kind to yourself, especially sometimes in our lives, we might be the only one that's doing it.

It might feel like no one else is being kind to us. So being kind to ourselves is even more important during those times. And it might feel like that.

It's just people are busy. It doesn't mean that they've been horrible. They just might not have energy to deal with us, you know, at the moment.

They've got their own stuff going on. So being kind to yourself, firstly, could be as simple as doing something nice. Treating yourself.

Watching a movie you enjoy. Going somewhere. Having an early night.

It could be having a bath. It could be anything, any little thing that can actually raise you, raise your spirits. So you feel more positive.

Now, I'm gonna go. So take care. Lots of love.

Bye. Bye. Bye.