#1032 LIVE Youtube stream - Let me bore you to sleep

And welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

My website is jasonnewland.com. And I haven't done a live Let Me Bore You To Sleep in some time. And if I'm honest, which is rare, I don't like to be honest. But if I am honest, I can't even share it because the internet's not working properly.

So I can't share it, unless I can share it. Does it allow me to share it on Facebook? Share. Facebook.

Facebook. Anyway. I've tried to share it, I don't know if it has or not.

So I hope you're well. It's blimey. Got a lot of light on me.

And the more light there is, the more chance you can see through my hair. And see that I, instead of having a full head of hair, I've only got about seven hairs. I've tried to sort of spread them out.

So there. Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, is on the floor eating a treat. Which is, I'm not going to tell you what it is because it's disgusting.

But he seems very happy. Very, very happy. So I can't judge him on that one.

Let me see whether or not I'll be able to share this on my other phone. Because, oh, I've got one person listening, watching, hearing. Hello.

No, they're gone. I'm so popular on YouTube. You would not believe it.

Wow. It's, I thought I might try and send this to my Facebook group. But, I don't know.

I don't know if I'm even connected to the internet. Tap to connect to the internet. No connection.

That's a bit wobbish. Why are they not connection? Why are they not? Oh, I'll tell you why. Oh, it is now.

It's now connected. Good. So, let's see if I can share.

Sign in. Nope. Nope, that's not the one.

Blimey. I've got an idea. If I just search for me.

Yeah, if I just search for me. Then I can share that link. Link.

Jason. Sexy. Newland.

Yeah, that's it. Let me bore you live. Whoops.

I'll turn the volume down. See if I can. Oh no, it's not allowing me to send it.

Surely. Surely. Can I not even get the link to it? Link.

Please. Share. Okay, share.

Share to Facebook. Open Facebook. Log in.

Will it let me log in? Will it? Will it? Will it? Will it? It won't. It won't. Oh, it will.

Save. Okay. Right.

So, I should. I've got a message there. Ben.

Ben. He says, did you watch the Joshua fight? I thought it's on tonight, but I've mucked up something. Oh, I've lost the message now.

Brilliant. Yeah, Ben, I did watch the Joshua fight. I've got things to say about Joshua.

Not horrible things, just I'm a little bit confused. About some of the behaviour was just unusual for him. I just, yeah.

Just, you know, I mean, just a bit strange. Before the fight started and. Loading.

Control so you can see. Okay, right. If I, if I copy this, copy, copy, copy.

And then if I go to discard. So, if I go back to Facebook. And I look for Jason's boring group.

Not now. 117 members. Wow.

You can join my group, by the way. Just go to my website and there's a link at the top. I'm now live on YouTube.

YouTube. Why is the screen weird looking weird to me? I think my even my eyesight's gone weird or the screen's gone weird. This is the old phone.

I'm now live on YouTube. Paste. Return.

Post. Right. So, maybe.

Maybe people will want to join. Maybe they won't. Maybe they will.

But maybe they won't. But maybe they will. Maybe they won't.

So, basically, I've been working on my Instagram page. This is my first Coke in about a week or two. I don't drink Coke anymore.

Yeah, and it's weird to say that when you actually got. And you got it in your hand. So, it's weird to say you don't do that thing anymore.

When you, when it's in your hand. But I, I don't really drink Coke anymore. Used to drink lots.

Now, I don't. This podcast is living up to its name, isn't it? Then that was, that was a really boring thing to tell you. Oh, what did you learn from listening to Jason Newland's podcast? Well, he used to drink more Coke than he does now.

You know, it's like, what is the point in that information? I don't know. I was on the edge of my seat. I thought there was more to come.

I didn't realise that was, that was it. That was the end of the topic. I thought that maybe there was going to be a story behind it.

Maybe he was going to discuss and, you know, talk about how he got into drinking Coke. Maybe the first can of Coke he ever had. And then what drove him to the decision to, to streamline his Coke intake.

But no, none of that happened. None of it happened. No.

I. Mmh. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. Oh. I remember the best can of Coke I ever had in my life.

And it was a fair at school by the way if you can hear he's crackling along there down there it's making a lot of noise there's not much I can do about it because I gave it to him specifically to distract him from listening or you disturbing me whilst I make this hugely futuristic video and I remember I was helping out on a stall at hello whoever's just joined if you are if you have joined and you actually know who I am if you joined and you know who I am

please say hi and I will say hi back or I'll ignore you I mean it depends I mean I will try and say hi back but I might not actually see because I'm using the phone just to do this and it's quite small oh my finger looks huge it's quite a small bit I might not see the message but I will try and if I'm in the middle of telling a really really interesting story then I might not you know take a break from that as I'm sure you understand so

I was helping out at a fete was like a fair and I was at school I think it was at my school or is it my brother's school I think it was at my school and I think it might be the coconut shi and I was helping out with that with the teachers and everything and I was so thirsty I was given a coat a can of coke and it was cold can of coke and it was the best drink up to that point I think I'd ever had apart from

previous drinks that were more more enjoyable it was and previous drinks it was absolute bliss I drank it down as I oh oh it was it was orgasmic it was it was fantastic I didn't use words like orgasmic or fantastic because I was about 11 years old but it was really really enjoyable and I remember like really being up for the day and I'll really being happy and and then I got home and there was commotion over there was commotion because one of the bikes in the shed was buckled one

of the wheels was buckled and one of the parents wanted to know who did it like I don't care can I tell you about my can of coke please that's all I wanted to talk about was my coke see hand on heart and by the way if you're listening to this on a podcast I'm doing this on YouTube I know I mentioned already but just in case you skip the first bit I do this live so I'm not sure how the sound is gonna come out because I've got not I've

not got plugged into a microphone because in order for me to not run out of juice on the phone I've got the phone plugged in so I don't want to lose that if you know I mean also if you do know me if you're not just randomly come over to me on YouTube like who's this weird weird sex symbol man please give me a like just so I know that you're someone that listens to my podcasts that would be like really nice oh it's weird I had two people now got

one is it because I call myself a sex symbol and you believed it no no no no no no okay stuff you I know I I know why am I so I think when you're doing a live thing it doesn't really give you a real idea of who's who's proper listening watching because I know I'm pretty sure there's about eight or eight or nine thousand people watching me live right now and it only comes up as one person so I'm I think the stats are just a little bit slow little

bit slow you know a little bit it's okay it's fine yeah so I've been working on my Instagram page which I've put no energy into at all for years and now I decided to start putting energy into it not sure why I didn't mention the word energy twice but I kind of thought I didn't know how to upload long videos and I was sitting there sitting over there there where I live well I don't live there but I sleep I sit there and I was thinking you know what maybe there

is a way of uploading a longer video onto Instagram because I don't do short videos there's no point doing shorts for me really I'm more a long long thing Ken says hello Jason thought I'd drop by hello Ken how you doing nice thanks for joining thanks for joining me yes thank you it's my birthday by the way in what's the day today is it was a 13th on Sunday so the 14th on Monday the 15th on Tuesday 16th on Wednesday Ken says wow live chat with my favorite internet person oh

thank you Ken thank you I've lost track of the date time okay 13th was on a Sunday 14th was on the Monday Tuesday was the 15th Wednesday today is the 16th so 16th of August my birthday is in 10 days time so if you if you want to send me a card or a really really big present like a car or a house or a castle not one made of Lego but I wouldn't even mind that to be honest just you know castles a castle in it I'll find a way

to fit in inside it and that sounds wrong doesn't it I yeah I it's my birthday I'll be 53 53 53 and if you say it quickly it still sounds like 53 hmm I remember I remember when I thought that 33 was old Ken says I'm 53 in October I thought you was really old Ken you're young you're a young man I thought you was in your 80s or 90s I've never seen you I've never seen a picture of you so I just I don't know why right Ken's now gone

sorry Ken how very dare you I'm joking I've got no idea how I mean I've got a picture of me when I was a little kid when I was about nine on my Facebook page you know my YouTube page it's not that I'm hiding what I look like I just don't want anyone to see what I look like you know because I think when it comes to listening to somebody's voice on a podcast it you might build up a picture of what that person looks like and it can be a

fantasy a fantasy and I don't want to spoil the fantasy because you might you might be imagining someone unattractive old and you know not very physically fit and now you've seen me on here and your your bubbles burst and now you see a superstar super stud and it can just be like oh the whole fantasy is gone too much reality do you imagine if anyone actually listened to this and thought oh he's flexing mmm he's really into himself he keeps saying how wonderful he is yes I think it's called humor

so look at this it's for dogs tastes horrible not quite sure why I put it in my mouth why would I do that on a live situation like this I don't know what else weird things can I do see yeah so I'm working on the Instagram Ken says oh is there anyone else there that would like to say hello of course Ken you're enough for me but you know I thought maybe we could add another person make it a nice threesome you know you never know I posted that I'm here

I posted maybe maybe I need to post elsewhere maybe if I post on Twitter hello Jason live a yes live where's it say live alive live let's see if I if I do this if I copy this live oh okay damn you so how can I share this okay right man so I'm trying to do it open any app it's now so I'm seeing myself looking at my computer on my phone more share viewers one one viewer I mean I know look up translate I don't translate it do I won't

translate it for what's the point in oh well just forget it so if there is anyone maybe you can share it on your YouTube page or something just to let people know that I use around because I didn't as per usual I didn't plan to do this I didn't know that I was gonna be going live and in some ways it's easier to go live than it is to record the video and edit the video and all that stuff involved with doing it and this way it's live and then I

can just download it and you know convert it into an audio and then upload the audio to my podcasts not that the sound is necessarily gonna be brilliant but hopefully it shouldn't be too bad and I'm I'm not like really close I'm this far away it's hard to do really leave that far away okay let's sit let's pretty much from my shoulder from my shoulder so that distance from my shoulder to my fingers okay says okay see it comes up and goes too quickly I couldn't see it let's see if

I can get on here available nope still nothing I wonder a wow wow wow wow wonder why wow wow wow wow wow she went away no my laptop's because my laptop was playing up everything was going a bit weird on it so I turned it off rebooted it and now because I don't have internet anymore well sung thank you thank you Kent and I knew it was well sung but thanks thanks for I already knew I have is I know when it when I hear a good song being sung and

that was a there's a good song maybe not being sung so well but it was it was okay it was a it was average it was it was below average it was pretty awful nevermind it doesn't matter I can't I don't have internet anymore but do you have the data on my phone which is what I'm using there now I'm guessing it's using most of the data up to do this live and for some reason some reason I can't connect to the laptop because it's been turned off now it's rebooted

it won't connect to the Internet to the Wi-Fi from the phone yet television is the iPad is everything else is even that phone is but this laptop just will not connect it will eventually but it might take hours and that happened the other day I took my phone out with me I don't know why there was a reason for it and I don't know what the reason was I took my phone out with me and I so I went outside I took Vinnie out came back not done it before I

never not done it like that before and generally generally generally generally basically actually what happened then then what happened is I couldn't connect to the Wi-Fi on the phone with anything and this was a Saturday and I wanted to watch the boxing I couldn't use any of the apps on the telly couldn't use the laptop couldn't use the iPad could use the phone but what am I gonna do on the phone and I can't leave I can hardly see the phone my eyesight I mean look I've got these things or

glasses on for a reason not just to make me look even more handsome they're there for a reason it's because me eyes are not so good is what they once was they gone downhill a little bit just a little bit and I miss having a really good eyesight by the way Ken if you're still listening you can press the like button I mean I know it might sound a bit demanding but can you can you just hurry up and press the like button please which I'm saying I'm saying nicely I'm

trying to say it nicely but then I found myself really getting aggressive let's press the like button now please could you could you please Oh lovely if you press the light see oh thanks Ken he did it I think you did it see I'm trying to say it nicely was like and now I'm gonna say thank you really nicely for Frank you know I can't thank you very much say really struggle with saying thank you so thanks thanks so Instagram I've been what I've been doing and I'll show you it's

really weird I don't normally give you a secrets of my little Empire Empire yeah see that I'm gonna see that that's basically all of the recordings all of the videos I've uploaded to Instagram and there's a couple more as well so I've been doing is I started off going on to Ken says I'm still here and will stay I sound a bit threatening stay I will stay and so the Instagram what I did is I went through because I use story blocks to make my videos I've got my audio obviously

not to make this video but I've got my audio which is done and then I add the videos in the background now occasionally I get copyrighted even though I'm a member of story blocks and I pay to be with story blocks it works out at 78 pound a month so it's a lot of money yeah and there shouldn't be any copyright issues because I'm paying to use their videos but no no no no I get copyrighted sometimes so whenever a copyright issue comes up I just delete the video because you

know there's no reason for a copyright the music I play in the background of my videos is copyright free free to me to use and I do on every YouTube video and every every podcast I've got is a disclaimer not this disclaimer is that the right word but saying where the music comes from and where you can go to to listen to it and stuff like that the vocals or my voice and what I say is mine that's why you know it's my words I'm pretty sure you don't need me

to tell you that I have not got a professional writer writing this because if I did today would really need to be sacked because it's not the best content in the world is it you're not mr. beast you know that you're nothing like mr. beast if he was you'd be very popular I'm not not nothing I'm mr. beast I wish I was why the thing I'd like to do that he does is give stuff away I wouldn't be bothered about like the big events and the things that he does like

that like shows and contests and things like that I've got itchy eye oh lovely I would love the idea just giving people money and giving someone a house I'd be happy just to give away food once I've eaten all I can you know and the food will be stuff that I don't like to eat but I did get a taste of that when I was away last year and I gave some food away and it was the best experience pretty much in my life I loved it absolutely loved it giving

away cooked food it was it was a beautiful moment man it was like a really wonderful vibe it was good I liked it a lot I remember I used to work in a chip shop and because I had no money literally I was I was working at one point I was doing I was doing overtime so I was earning 47 pound a week this is with overtime okay and my rent was 40 pound a week for the flat above the chip shop 7 pound to live on even in 1986 or

87 whenever it was 7 pound were not a lot of money so I got myself a part-time cleaning job in the morning Ken says did you get free fish what's it got to do with you I did but you know what still got them they were in the goldfish bowl I if you are done anymore if anyone else has had this experience but I could not stand fish or chips for years afterwards couldn't stand them because I was around that for two years and I could not stand it just it

just got too much I didn't want to smell chips or fish but I did eat there yeah I did of course what else was I gonna do but yeah I did but I just I was more into burgers really I think back then I was more I mean I was trying to put weight on so could never put weight on unless I wore a heavy hat but I I used to have burgers or jumbo sausage in a roll pie I used to like the pies yeah I used to like the

pies a lot a nice pie and a couple of fresh bread rolls with butter very very mmm even now even now thinking about it like mmm yeah I could do that right now actually even though I've already eaten I can't remember what I've eaten but I did eat something a little while ago oh yeah the sandwich very memorable of course I what did I do yeah I think it's like a mince pie and then two bread rolls with butter and some tomato ketchup maybe some beans as well maybe some beans

beautiful meal beautiful yeah and I used to put bits of pie into the into the bread rolls and for those of sure they're not really got to have the beans yeah I do like some beans do you like some beans I when I was a little kid beans was the one thing that I would eat that I would like have no problems of eating it didn't matter what was on offer if you had beans I'd be alright I'd be happy with that wasn't really into food I think part of the

reason is I didn't like the food that I was being given because I was in the kids home children's home for a little while a few years and I didn't like Ken says on a serious note they need to be slowly cooked to reduce the sauce what are you talking about baked beans this isn't a cookery show you put it into a cup and put in the microwave for a minute slowly stirred beans what are you on about I'm only kidding Ken yes call me Ramsey so I would sit at

the table and I would refuse to eat when I was in there because there was nuns running the place refused to eat because I would say look when the sauce becomes gravy you're disturbing me talking now what I said you know send a message I mean like maybe one an hour how am I supposed to do a podcast if you keep talking I'm kidding you said if you stir the sauce long enough it turns to gravy why would you stir the sauce it's gravy it's already a sauce isn't it the

beans the baked beans I was talking about baked beans not beans as in green beans sprouts I didn't expect to get such a response I'm only kidding Ken I beans I tell you the weirdest thing that I discovered when I was working in the chip shop is mushy peas probably the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my life and apparently if you don't you have to soak them in this acidy liquid stuff it stinks like really bad like really bad and Ken where are you I miss you now where

are you so it's really really smells bad and then you boil it for about 17 years on a very slow slow boil this is turned into a cookery right here my friend Lewis says Ken is you do it it boils and it basically you have to buy a new saucepan every time you do a new batch of these mushy peas because it ruins the saucepan ruins with a capital I and it smells disgusting however tastes quite nice if you can get past the stench if you can get past the fact

that it looks like kermit vomit if you can it it actually tastes okay but I don't know I mean if you sold you could create the most amazing chocolate bar that tastes phenomenal I've heard that mr. beast's chocolate bars are really good if I keep mentioning promoting his chocolate bars maybe I'll send me some money or a chocolate bar even better because I need more sugar in my body you can create the best most tastiest chocolate bar but if you made it to look like dog turd like really realistic dog

turd and then you were able to get some kind of mixture that you can make it smell like doctor okay apparently mushy peas are a by product of axle grease removal oh yeah that sounds nice if you could get some kind of scent to make it smell like dog turd dog poo same texture as dog poo so you really wouldn't know that you didn't have dog poo in your hand now admittedly if you were if you a little bit like not sure why have you picked it up off the pavement

that that would be the question but but it tasted amazing would you would you eat it would you buy it would you I'm not sure if I could I'm not sure if I would I'm not sure if I should I'm not sure if I have any wood I'm trying to figure out the words that end with hood this is going all wrong why this is not the first time Ken that I have ended up talking about poo I know usually I don't talk about chocolate bars looking and smelling like poo

admittedly I mean yeah not all not not all of my podcasts I like this but I think it's because it's live and because I get a little bit camera-shy and because no one's listening no one's watching and a weird thing about it is I although I'm making this video view message a weird message is held for review view message oh I've got a message held review but I don't know what it said send the message again whoever it was I the fact there's only one person watching and I'm live and

I kind of like which is one person watching say what I want but then I forget that once it's gone live and once it's uploaded and everything I might have another 50 people watch Ken says so you propose to make a delicious smelling product yeah I think maybe the smell could put people off it could but then that's my point with mushy peas that don't smell nice I don't think anyone's ever smell no I don't think mushy peas look nice they don't smell nice they do taste mind you I think

if mushy peas tasted like I know like a bit of I'm gonna say cow phlegm that you've just scraped out of a bin but that's a bit gross like a bit of a bit of a wet cabbage that's fallen on the floor and it's been there for maybe a day and you pick it up and you taste it it's like maybe you washed it off but it's like doesn't taste very nice even then you'd probably be pleased after smelling and seeing you know mushy peas because they look so horrible and

smell so horrible maybe a perfume called La Demerde I think you're assuming that I speak anything but English was that did that mean poo in French the only thing I need anything I've ever heard in French was when I remember I had a girlfriend and she kept kept shouting out when we were making love she kept shouting out laughing mmm petit petit petit penny and we all know penny penny penny penny anyway but that's a bread roll isn't it so I don't know what she was on about she guess she

was hungry mmm petit penny but in the end I had to I had I just had to end it because I was on holiday and I ran out of money but yeah so I hello Vinnie hello everyone what's that do you want to say hello do you want to say hello no he doesn't he doesn't want to say that to anybody what's this no he's wise to me trying to grab him because he doesn't like to really be held he's happy to be stroked when he wants to be so when

he's on the bed or when he's on his little bed beside my chair he let me stroke him and I'm now like stroking his nose underneath the table get the dog says Ken get the dog his name's Vinnie Vinnie get Vinnie get the dog how dare you call him a dog it's not a dog he's a little rabbit and you're like a little rabbit he'd eat a rabbit if he could wouldn't you what do you want you've had your food and you've had a nice big treat plus you have one

of your bones you've been spoilt rotten so there's nothing more you can I can do unless you need a poo in which case just do it on the carpet everyone else does so by everyone else I mean me shut up do you want that you can have that there you go there you go good boy go away good boy give him the biscuits you nearly ate yeah I just did actually it's it's actually Tammy Tammy sent these thanks Tammy if you get to watch this or listen to this they are

simply delicious 100% pure beef strips naturally air-dried treats for dogs know what your dog is eating grain free 100 grams bouts and Bella for the dog you love and those two are a bit annoying as well bounce and Bella ours I'm reading off a box of dog treats does it come to this have I run out of ideas Ken said he'd eat that what the box or the treats I've got so little to talk about I end up reading off a box absolutely delicious range of 100% natural treats national natural

treats for dogs are made from simple ingredients with no hidden additives or preservatives I caught him I caught him oh see doesn't like being held even though I'm not gonna hurt him all I'm doing is just did he be growling at me growled at me are you growling look everyone wants to say hello to you all one person so if you are listening that is a proper horrible growling it all I did was like just hold his collar I didn't grab him I didn't pull him I just held his collar

and straight away he was being nasty when you mm-hmm oh no you give me kisses thank you so he has beautiful eyes he does me look oh he wants to get down I'll hold him for a while but you know if he doesn't want to stay up then it's not really fair is it to keep him up here but if you do want to see Vinnie and you listen to the podcast if you just go to my YouTube channel and you can see him it's a 48 minutes into the live

broadcast look hello hello fuck off hello fuck off stop it stop swearing go away you smell no I don't smell stop it I'm not my real dad stop it Vinnie stop it stop Vinnie come on I'm gonna go back to my mum Vinnie very rude you're with me now I'm your daddy sure I love you yeah it's cuz you're lonely there's nothing wrong with being lonely and sad oh don't call me sad Vinnie be nice you alright you want to get down he wants to get down he doesn't want to

be up here with me all this way all this long distance from the ground do you mm-hmm hey okay alright get down then I mean you hear him whining I know what you want me you know I'm going out I'm kind of busy yeah so I do these do this there's one person watching and I think oh I can just say what I want really but no one's gonna hear or see it and then I remembered that once it's uploaded to YouTube I might have 40 50 people tiny tiny amount

but potentially quite a few people are going to be listening to it on on podcasts so I might have a few thousand people listen to this or have it listened to a few thousand times there's like oh oh that was a mistake maybe the poo-flavored poo-flavored chocolate that wasn't poo-flavored but you know I mean previous thing that I discussed I've got three people watching I bet you what will happen right if you are watching please press the play button that the like button if you're one of my people from the

Jason's boring podcast no Jason's boring Facebook group and say hello please just say hey because at the moment is it three or two people three people now I'm excited because this is the most I've ever had in one in one I've never spoken to three people not even in real life three people at the same time this is like mind-blowing I like oh wow wow who's watching if the Bastion there it's also I like to be shout out to Molly who is the boss of the boring Facebook Facebook group Jason

boring Facebook Jason's boring Facebook group is that what's called something like that yeah if you do want to join if you're listening to this or watching this if you want to join my private Facebook group just go to my website and click on the link we could search for it Ken says so you didn't cross any line do you do you like I didn't cross any line did I it was there any lines I don't know if there was any line set out to start with really I've been doing this

too long to really be too bothered yeah I don't know is it is are there any lines and you can only get into so much trouble talking about poo and chocolate well there's a coffee made from insects you know what oh yeah yeah I know well there's a chocolate that's made from there's a coffee yeah there's a coffee that is actually digested and then pooed out by something I think it might be by humans even so they eat the coffee poo it out and then they then they make coffee out

of it which if I'm honest look I like a nice cup of coffee one a day in the morning it's pretty much what I do provided I've got teabags I don't mean getting teabagged but when if I've got enough teabags I'll just have one cup of coffee a day I'm not an expert I'm not a connoisseur I'm not you know that bold about coffee I pretty much drink any coffee you know not that bothered even if I was even if I was like really interested in coffee and I really enjoyed

drinking coffee it was like a thing that I enjoyed and you know always up for something new always up for the newest the newest craze in coffee and you know I had the attitude of sell it to me sell me the new craze sell me the new idea and if someone said well you know what listen to this so basically what we do is we go into the rainforest we pick the the coffee beans we have some young people children eat the coffee beans and when they poo it out we

take the faeces and then we strain it down and dry it out and then it makes the most beautiful cup of coffee would you like a sample and I think the word sample would be the correct term on that situation like no I mean it's wrong on so many levels it's not right on any level it's like just now if it came out of a goat's bum not bad just something a cow's bum even sorry I just got distracted in with my thoughts so yeah and it's so I've been working

on we're not working but like focusing on Instagram looking at doing we're trying to reach a different audience I guess cow dung and horse poo is not offensive somehow yeah human is a little bit more isn't it it's a bit I mean it's not what I would want first thing in the morning I'll be honest first thing in the morning I expect the poo to be leaving my body not entering yes you know it's oh yeah oh that's a bit then we're focusing on that oh I just do a stomach

fart I just farted inside my stomach seriously it wasn't my bum it was actually in my stomach around my belly button it just farted not out there was no air coming out because that would mean I had a hole in my stomach but I'm not a balloon I know it looks like a balloon hole a balloon knot belly button not just your belly button but hey that's another story well actually it's like a balloon knot really isn't it because the umbilical cord sometimes my belly speaks to me says Ken should

we get the Ouija board out come on let's get the Ouija board out start talking to my stomach is there anybody there what are you staring at Vinnie I think he's naked I think he's I think what he's done is he's overeating are you alright he's overeating he's eating half a packet of food like wet food and another thing that I'm not gonna say what it is because it's just grim he's eating now don't know how much of that he ate and he also had one of his little bones and

he's laying there like I like the shirt and must have it Ken wants me to take off my shirt no trust me if I took my shirt off the internet would break not in a good way the internet would just collapse 20 years from now do you remember when we used to have the internet yeah so it was terrible when it wouldn't happen when it all broke you know think about it if it wasn't for that there would have AI taken over but AI couldn't work without the internet so we've

all saved Jason is our saviour so yeah that's it really I'm gonna go I'm gonna go now thank you very much and remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye and thank you to Ken for joining me on this special occasion how do I press stop yee bye Ken bye everyone I'm trying to stop it how do I stop it