#1043 - Youtube - Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to Vinnie and me. Doing this Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast recording audio of this lovely Sunday afternoon at 1741 p.m. on the 10th of September 2023. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and remember, I don't know, remember something.

My website is jasonnewland.com which has been my website forever really. If you go on there at the top of the page there is a PayPal link, there's also you can click to join my private Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group. Just click on that and I'll take you there if you want to join.

There's also a link, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, link to six of my podcasts which you can go on to. But underneath that there's also all the latest podcast episodes that you can go to. So you know you've got Let Me Bore You To Sleep, hip relax and sleep hypnosis, daily deep sleep, whisper hypnosis, stop smoking, stress and pain relief and sleepy boring objects.

Now of course I have other podcasts but that's just the main ones that I put on there. Not quite sure what he's doing here. I'm going to move him into the bedroom.

Yes I just moved him into the bedroom because basically he was whining and I don't really know why because he's been out today two or three times and the last time he went out wasn't that long ago. It was an hour, hour and a half maybe. No it wasn't.

Yes about an hour, about an hour ago we got back. So I don't know, not quite sure what it is he's after but I'm having a bit of a lazy day. More than usual.

I just felt tired today. I felt tired and part of the reason might be because for the last few days Vinnie has been waking me up at a ridiculous time in the morning. I'm like half twelve, half one, those kinds of times.

It's too early and it's not like we're not going to bed like really early either. If we were going to bed at seven or eight in the evening then I'd understand that maybe he needs to go to the toilet at two. But he always goes out before we go to bed and I'm in bed usually by before eleven, usually ten if I can, sometimes half ten, sometimes nine.

But you know last night I think it was about half ten and maybe closer to eleven and for some reason he was just restless. The thing is once he gets me out of bed and maybe I've taken him out to do a wee-wee or whatever. He gets back upstairs and he just he goes to bed.

So he's woken me up and now he wants to go to sleep. Yet he will hassle me for long periods of time to get out of bed. The amount of times that he's, I've woken up looked at the phone and it's like ten past two in the morning or ten past one or something.

And then the next time I look at the clock it's 50, 45 minutes later and he's still sitting there staring at me waiting for me to get up. And I know that he also pokes me and makes weird noises and stuff to try and disturb me. I think, I think a lot of it is he's just bored.

I mean can you imagine you might listen to me you know every now and then or once a day for an hour or whatever. But he's with me all the time. Can you imagine how boring that would be? I'm surprised he's ever awake.

I mean I bore myself. I made a video yesterday, the Let Me Bore You To Sleep yesterday was a video as well as a podcast you know. I did both at the same time.

And I, it was number 1042 called It's Hot. Now I started the podcast talking about medical conditions which I won't be doing today. That was a, it's not something I normally talk about.

Anyway, I, it was a lot of work to try and organize that video. It was recorded in about four different pieces with the camera. Wasn't on the phone, it was on actual camera and it was like oh man.

And trying to sync it up with the audio and, and then, and then, then, then, then, then I upload it. You know, I have to edit it, it takes a while to edit. And I'm also editing the audio for the podcast separately.

And I'm watching it this morning. So I upload it. I don't know early hours of the morning, I think it's released.

I'm watching it back. First of all, the picture is not, it's a weird picture. It's very, very vague.

It's very tinted or something. I don't know. The settings aren't correct.

Not sharp. It's not a bad picture. It's just a very, I don't know.

I can't quite explain it. So I'm watching it. I'm watching it back thinking, okay, let's just watch this through, see how it sounds.

Does it sound okay? Is the video quality acceptable? And I think it was just maybe needs a little bit more changing, tweaking or whatever. I was trying to use the Adobe software, Premiere Pro, and that kept crashing. So I ended up editing it on the iPad using an iPad app.

It's like, come on, man. And then after all that, it took quite a long time. After all that, I'm watching it through.

And there's a part of the video where I start coughing. So I clap my hands loudly, have a drink of water, gargle or something, splutter around and then clap my hands again and continue talking. I forgot to edit it out of the video.

Now, I hope I edited out of the podcast recording, the audio, I hopefully did. But the video itself, it was not good. I had to delete the video and re-edit it.

And I thought, well, maybe I'll just leave it off. I'll just delete it and just, you know, not put it back. But I thought it's not really fair on those that wanted to watch it.

Because some people might have been watching it and suddenly it's deleted and they couldn't watch it. So I edited it. Hopefully it's now properly edited.

And I made a little few changes as well. And uploaded it again. Now, I don't know if I can be bothered with all that.

I mean, I quite like the idea of doing a YouTube channel, where it's just how it is now with basically videos with moving graphics and waterfalls and spirals and, you know, sort of animations and stuff with my podcast episode over the top. Or, you know, synced in. So I'm not sure.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do there. I really don't know. Analytics.

I mean, everything seems to be sort of picking up gradually, the YouTube channels, it's very slowly growing. And maybe I'm just going to leave off the video and focus just on the audio. Even though I moved this whole desk over here and had the whole setup so that I could do the video as well as the audio, you know, at the same time.

Anyway, it's not quite worked out. And it's there. I mean, I guess I could just do it on the phone, which would be easier.

But at the same time, maybe I'll just continue how I am. You know, maybe I'll just do what I've been doing. And I don't need to have videos of me.

I don't know. I don't know. I wonder, but with the with the stats, what am I? I'm a C plus on Social Blade with my YouTube channel.

According to this, I've got 22,344 video views, 627 uploads. That's without all the ones that haven't been released yet. So over 800.

And created March 15 2018. My estimated yearly earnings, if I had adverts, which I don't, and there are sometimes adverts on the YouTube channel, but they're not my doing. It's YouTube does that.

I guess they want to make money. But I haven't got any adverts on there. But if I did, I would make an estimated yearly earnings at the moment, between eight pounds and 125 pounds.

And no one can argue that that's pretty cool. Pretty, pretty cool. Oh, yeah.

So it's the channel, the YouTube channel is growing, you know, slowly, but surely is growing the subscribers. I've now got 1049 subscribers. So you know, it's it's just slowly growing.

I think by the end of next year, I would expect to have for things to be going quite well on YouTube. If I continue the way I'm going, I'd expect it to be I'd like to have like 10,000 subscribers by the end of next year. And then maybe begin I don't know, 100,000 views a month, something like that.

Maybe, I mean, at the moment, basically, I am unknown on YouTube. You know, YouTube are not going to promote my videos, because I'm in, even though I used to be a known commodity, many, many moons ago, and, and suns ago. Now, I'm pretty much not known.

Not that I was ever famous, but, you know, I had a little, little bit of a following back in the day. Now, the only people really listening to my stuff are people that remember me from the past, I think, and they'd like search for me. But I can't imagine that YouTube is recommending my videos to anyone.

But if it keeps growing, they will. And that's one of the quite exciting things about YouTube. And it works on different levels.

Like, you know, it's for my level of where I am. I know one day I'll wake up. And suddenly I'll have maybe 20 new subscribers overnight.

And I'll have maybe two, three times the amount of video views to what I normally get. And I'll be like, wow. And then the next day, I'll start growing, and I'll grow and grow.

And it's, that's what happens with YouTube, you know, the more providing what you're doing is okay, and fairly useful or whatever, which I hope my stuff is. Because new people will perhaps start watching the old videos, you know, so the stats go up that way. And YouTube then starts how many times I'm going to say YouTube in this video, in this video, it's not video, it's a podcast.

Sorry, everybody. How many times YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube. It's some quiet, I'm kind of looking forward to that.

Because happened before. And I know it happens with a lot of people on different levels, you know, some people will suddenly get 10, 20,000 new subscribers over a month. They're much bigger and more popular channels, they might already be popular, they might already have 2030 subscribers, like 1000 subscribers.

And then they grow, they really start growing even more. Now I haven't had my first little boost yet. That'll take it might take another year, I don't know.

Before, you know, I start getting recommended to users of that website, try not to say YouTube. But we'll see. I don't know.

It's it's nice. I mean, usually it does happen. I mean, from what I've seen other people talk about, I know it happened to me in the past.

I remember, I couldn't believe it. I mean, you know, I was on YouTube for a few years before. But I started in I think I started in 2007.

And then I had my first popular video, popular by my standards, you know, by my channel standards, not by YouTube standards. But by my standards, my first popular video was 2011. So it took four years to get to the point where one of my videos took off.

And for me, it went viral. Now, again, in YouTube terms, you know, it's for internet terms is far from viral, but for me, it was because it overtook everything else that I've done. And instead of getting a handful of views, you know, maybe 50 60 100 views, suddenly I was getting 1000s of views overnight.

And that particular video, I had over 100,000 views of it, not overnight, but over a period of time. And it was quite cool. Every time I released a video, I was getting quite high numbers.

From then on, and the subscribers were increasing like 2025 a day, extra. And no, that's not a lot. Again, you know, we've got to put it into perspective.

For me, that was huge. But at the time, you know, because to get one or two subscribers a day was good. You know, I was pleased.

But to be getting, I don't know. It was just nice. I mean, I think the last month before I deleted the channel, don't even ask me why I deleted it.

I'm not even sure myself. deleted in 2013, I think. Maybe 2014 2001, then I deleted it.

And I was getting at the height. That was like the height of my thing. I was getting 45,000 plus views a month.

Now I know again, it's not a lot. But for me, it was a lot. Like it was growing like 10,000, then 14,000 and 26,000.

And, you know, it's growing exponentially to the point that if I still had that channel, I probably getting more than 45,000 views a month by now. 11 years later. Blimey.

Can you imagine I might have had a popular YouTube channel, it might have actually been. Yeah, I might have a million subscribers or something like that. That's just ridiculous, isn't it? It is possible over such a period of time.

And some of the people that watch my videos really, really like them. Like really, you know, they were just really into what I was doing. Even though the video was terrible quality, and the audio wasn't particularly good.

So, you know, imagine now, now that the quality is much better, and the audio is much better. The content's a bit worse now. I mean, the content was really good back then.

Now it's it's gone downhill a lot, a lot. I mean, I ran out of things to talk about about seven years ago. But I still continue anyway.

I still, I'll still give it a little go. Just a little go. See how we go.

You know, I mean, just a little go. But that's just like what ifs, isn't it? What if what if? Well, doesn't matter, does it? What if all I can do is make sure that I learn, try and learn from those little mistakes that I made in the past. Some of them anyway, can't learn from all of them because it's basically there's too many, just way too many.

But I try and learn if I can, if I if I'm able to. And it's weird, because it's actually getting dark inside. And it's just turned 6pm.

It's still light outside. But inside, I couldn't read. I can read I'm in a car that I'd need a light on to read a book in this level of light.

And I can see my hands. And I can see the computer screen, but then I could probably see that in pitch black, to be honest, because it's lit. But that's not particularly good for my eyesight.

So I'm trying not to sort of look at this computer screen. Apart from, of course, when I am looking at it, which is now, so that wasn't real, was it? But you know, generally, it's not a good idea, I don't think to look at a computer screen when it's when the room is very kind of quite low on light. But this is good.

I'll tell you what, before I last before it started growing. Last time I looked at the predictions on this is socialblade.com. And you can put in the YouTube channel and they can tell you the stats. You know, uploads the subscribers, video views, the country of origin, and channel type, and when a user created, so mine was 15th of March, 18.

And before it said that it was going to take me about 100 years to get to 3000 subscribers. But now now that was before I got to the 1000. Now I'm on the one I'm on.

It's saying that yeah, just by the end of next year. So not yet by like a year and two months, I should have just I really I should have 2000 subscribers based on how it's growing. In two years, I should have nearly 4000 subscribers.

Three years, nearly 7000. Four years, four years, I should have over 11,000 subscribers. And five years, I should have 16 and a half thousand subscribers.

Now, that's just based on the growth now. And that will change the prediction will change. So these are this is just predicted, but this is based on I guess, all the data from all the other YouTube channels and how they've grown over the years.

Because this SocialBlade.com has been around forever. Long before the dinosaurs. So that's pretty good.

It's not telling me this is future. It's not giving me future views, though, for some reason. future projections.

It's not giving me views, but it's giving me subscribers. I guess it's quite high, it's hard for them to, to guess the views, for some reason. But the more subscribers I get, the more views I'm going to get, I suppose.

But it's not even trying to predict the views, for some reason. I don't understand detailed statistics. No, no.

1,000 to 1,000 for YouTube channel see future projections. Yeah, it's only given me the subscribers predict projections. So in five years when I'm 58.

Blimey. 58. 50.

You know, if you say it quick, it still sounds old. 58. Wow.

So 16 and a half thousand subscribers. Now I'm reckoning that the subscribers will grow quicker than that. I reckon and that will then update the future projections.

So I reckon I'll have I'd like to have 10,000 subscribers by the end of next year. Because I'd like to. But according to this, I will have 2,000.

Maybe two and a half thousand. I'd like 3,000. Thank you.

No 510 hundred. I'd like 10,000. And then maybe by the end of the following year 100,000 then a million thousand, then a trillion thousand, a billion thousand, a whole trillion trillion trillion.

I don't know what numbers they go up to, but I want all the numbers. I want everybody. Please, everybody subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Don't have to listen or watch the videos. Just subscribe so I can have millions of subscribers. Yeah.

Because then. You YouTube will start promoting my videos to people that don't know who I am. So I'll get more views.

And maybe reach and perhaps help more people, more people, more people. Yes. What's the latest recording? That's weird.

I wonder why that is. The latest recording is coming down as five hours. It's hot.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep five hours long. Not 10 hour long one. That doesn't even make sense.

Why would it do such a thing? Why? Oh, why? Oh, why? I'll tell you why. Because the 10 hour one has not been published on that podcast. Why would it not be published? How could they? Why? Why? That's very strange.

Very strange indeed. I wonder if it's the same with others as well. Basically, I can publish that.

It's got the right picture. So I'll publish it. I wonder if anyone else has not been published.

I wonder if I haven't got the million views or listens that I normally get. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Millions and millions and millions. No, that one's okay. How unusual.

It happens every now and then, especially when I prepare it for future release, a later date or later hour. Sometimes put the wrong date in and it's not due for release for like three years or something, which isn't really useful. No, that's the only one.

That's okay. So it's quite a slow day today. What is it so far? 6.13. So I've got 5000 downloads.

Yesterday I got just under 10,000. So that's all right. The weekend's always slower anyway.

I've got a nice comment actually. Let me have a little look. It was on Facebook from somebody.

Of course, it was from somebody. Let's have a look. And this was posted on my Jason Newlands Boring Group.

Nope. Posted. Posted on.

Nope. Posted somewhere. I think it was posted on my boring Jason Newlands Boring Group.

Oh, yeah. Okay. This is my it's hot.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Tammy says, Yes, too warm for me tbh. Tall.

Ball Hall. I don't know. I don't know what that means.

I'm a fall autumn baby just like you, Jason and my favorite season is fall. We still get the warm days but also we have the fall, the false fall days. The false false fall.

Yeah. I think See, I want to be I want to I want to love the heat. I do.

But I don't. You know, part of my dream is to go and live in Thailand or something. But I'm not a heat person.

I'd be better off somewhere like Norway or somewhere, maybe Canada or somewhere where it's pretty more on the colder side. I don't want to be cold. But at the same time, the I do like a breeze.

Not just down me underpants. I mean, you know, just a breeze from outside. And I would say weather wise, I would prefer the autumn and the spring.

Yeah, spring's nice, because for me, I like it when the cold kind of starts to reduce a bit. And it's we have nice days, but it's still cool. You know, a bit of sun, but it's still still wear a jacket or jumper, cardigan, thermal underwear, you know, things like that.

It's still nice, long johns. But in the summer, it's I mean, we haven't, people have been moaning about weather because we haven't had a huge summer this year in this country. But we did have some really hot weather in May, I think.

And it's been hot this week, the last few days. But then next week, it probably will be turning colder. And it's gonna start to get darker in the evenings.

It's darker in the mornings. It's like just this the way it is. You know, it happens most years.

Oh, or every year, really? Oh, okay. I've got another message here. This is for my number 206.

Perhaps you can relax. It's a relax and sleep hypnosis daily. And I did that on I don't know when I released that six of September.

So it's four days ago. Cara put a message on that. She says, brilliant.

Jason was in top form for this podcast. My favorite episodes are the ones where I laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

And it doesn't interfere with me falling into a deep sleep when I'm done listening. I did reply, but thank you, Cara. I appreciate that.

And I don't I've got no idea what I talked about in that recording. But maybe it's worth having a check. Also, I did a number 511.

ASMR, deep sleep, whisper hypnosis, awareness of surroundings. And someone's car again, put I loved it. So you know, I do other things.

I do other things. It's not just the the old. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Not this old thing. I'll do other things. And I'll continue to do so.

Yes. I could definitely do with falling asleep. I've been partly asleep all day.

Really? Yes, very strange. So unlike me, normally I'm full of energy. And wait a minute, am I talking about myself here? Okay.

Has anybody noticed on Facebook, like just the main Facebook page, not on our own pages, but on a normal Facebook page, the amount of pointless stuff that's on there. These pages suggested for me first three samples. That's one there.

Oh, that's about critter clippers. Another pointless one suggested to me. Jesus love suggested for me.

Another one amazing babies. So there's pictures of babies with deformities. I don't know why that's been suggested to me.

Wonder Vogel suggested to me. Pets lover suggested to me. Again, it's called pets lover, but it shows pictures of that has nothing to do with pets at all.

I have no idea why these things exist, why these what these Facebook groups are about. And they seem to get a lot of attention. There's one called meow meow.

And the same thing is is I know a lot of this stuff is AI generated now and that this person is wrote in Roten is a picture of a man creating a cat out of a bush. When I say a bush, I mean like a green bush in a bucket garden. In case your mind's going in a different direction.

And, you know, it's creating a pussy out of a bush. And so, and then it says, let's appreciate him for his marvellous work. His work is underrated.

Now they say the same stuff. Same kind of comment, people that create stuff, they showed a picture of the thing that they've created. And then they say, he doesn't feel appreciated for what he's done.

She doesn't think anyone loves her. Stuff like that. And it's like, what? There's 500 comments.

Five and a half 1000 people have liked it. What is the point? Let's have a look what the let's let's have a look. Come on.

Let's have a look what the comments are. Because we have to don't we? Beautiful cat. Why go to? I mean, yeah, but it's probably AI picture, but it might not be.

Outstanding. Congratulations with such talent. Awesome.

I love it. Absolutely love this. So much detail.

Beautiful. Yeah, but why are you commenting? It's a picture. I mean, it is if it's real, it is spectacular.

I mean, to make a cat but and let's have a look. Let's copy this picture. Copy.

Save image. Okay. Now, check picture image for AI.

Okay. Checking images over john, you can check the source title description comments and image for any mention of AI software. Look for watermark.

Look at it. People there are ways I'm sure there's software. I our general kind of detection.

Okay, here we go. Is this one? Get started is AI behind your image. Get started.

We are ready to launch. Go to the main page, drop the file and click it here. So here we go.

Click on the file. Oh, AI probability 1.4%. So it's not quite as high as I thought. So what are the images going to be? So let's have a look.

Save. I'm going to do another one. Save image.

Right. Okay, there's a picture of a little baby little boy with okay it's with I don't want to say the word deformity but yeah. AI probability 96%.

So these things are like put on Facebook to pull up people's heartstrings basically. And this is on pets lover. What's that? And it's a spring springfield baby born without a skull survives the product.

It's photo editing change. Okay, so basically, I think they're letting people know it's not real. I think God bless God, but people don't realize it like God bless her.

God bless you. God bless you. Amen.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

God bless you. Amen. Amen.

God. Our prayers are with you. It's it just seems a bit cruel to be doing that.

And for the people that are paying, you know, looking at thinking it's real. They've been played. I mean, it might some of those people that are sending those messages might actually literally be praying for that little boy or girl.

When it's not a real picture. Only one person out of hundreds. So this is this is really something as well.

My son was born with a similar condition and didn't make it so proud that your beautiful boy is staying keeping alive. It's not a real picture. So they tap into people's emotions.

Right, this next one. Is okay, right, it's not good. Not picture.

So it's got to be a white picture. Stuff it. See if there's another one.

Okay, so this this one, this is a picture of a frog. So if you want to search and check to see if an image is likely to be AI, then I'll give you the address for this is app dot Illuminati. I l l u m i n a r t y dot AI.

So there's a picture of a frog and people say so beautiful and all this stuff. AI probability 81.2%. Now it doesn't mean that it's necessarily AI. But that's what it does.

It searches for AI. And it kind of knows how many people have said this is clearly fake. Wow, is this little guy for real? Oh, so let's put this is AI.

Catherine says you're so beautiful. Back off. That's my girlfriend.

Wow. I'm pretty sure it's AI but I'm not positive. Positive positive to the I'm positive it's AI.

Search, check. See people don't even check. Check.

Do some do diligences. I think it might be AI. Well, I think it might be AI.

But I'm going to check to see if it's AI. Now of course, nothing's 100% certain, including websites that are built specifically to check for AI. But when it comes up at 80 90% certain, then that's, you know, start using other software.

And you're probably going to come to the conclusion, especially when it's not important. As most things that I talk about, it's not important. Okay, let's do another picture.

Another picture, I won't I'm not gonna tell you what the pictures are, because they're horrible. It's not. This is not nice pictures.

Again, China. Okay. It's another one here.

AI probability 58.9%. amazes me. Right. So another one.

Save image. So saying here, that McDonald's is changing its WM upside down. So let's have a look if it's true.

AI probability 0.5%. To be fair, that's just Photoshop. So that isn't AI is it I guess. Still not real.

What if a picture of me is real? But if I copy that picture of me, see whether I think it's AI or not. That'd be funny. It's a picture of me as a little kid.

The one that I use on my profile pictures. AI probability 1.2%. Whoa. Blimey.

Isn't that strange? So let's see if there's any pictures of me on here. Online I can find images. Okay, yeah, there's one.

I'll just download that. Save, save image. Right, search this one.

Wow. So the picture of me with Andre. Okay.

So this is throwing everything out now. The picture of me with Andre, I'm just holding my hand. And there's a picture I used to use as part of my profile thing.

This is a few years back. AI probability 91.8%. It's thrown it all out the window, isn't it? So they're saying I could only my face could only be created with AI. There's no way it could be a real face.

Thanks. That's so rude. Absolutely.

Incredibly rude. He's saying here, other pictures of people with animals. People that look like me.

Wow. Not cats. A lot of cats.

Right, let's see another picture of me. Let's see if that one comes out of being real. Okay, save image.

Did he? Whoops, I wasn't supposed to happen. We did. Save.

Okay, blimey. So let's see if this works. Right.

AI probability 0.2%. It's another picture of me with Andre. Okay, I'm going to put in a moment so you'll get a picture of I'm putting some pictures to see whether or not it's it's of an event to see whether or not it was AI. Shall we? Okay.

Okay. Let's have a look. But then it's not going to really mean anything because even my face is coming up as being AI.

Oh, well. How can my face be? I mean, what was it? What was it again? I can't remember what the 91.8% AI probability my face. It's just rude, isn't it? It's just rude.

It's, I mean, proper, proper rude. I mean, on a level that I cannot grasp. Even, even with tweezers, I could not grasp it.

How could they be so rude to me? Oh, dear. So yeah, everything's okay here. I've got I will be making some more recordings this week.

I'm planning planning to do the let me be to sleep every day. But I always planned that right from the start. I planned that before I even started making recordings.

You know, do it every day, do it every day. Be consistent, baby, be consistent. But I just don't listen to myself.

So it's one of those things, you know, I try and try and be consistent, but sometimes like, even today, it's hard and just, you know, not feeling my best today. I can really do with big, greasy meal, a nice takeaway or something. Not gonna have one, but just just feel that kind of just a bit of dodge a bit of not unhealthy food necessarily.

But just, you know, just nice in my mouth. Hmm. But do I think have a frozen pizza in the freezer? frozen freeze? Did I say a frozen freezer? or frozen pizza? I'm pretty sure I might have just said I have a frozen freezer.

In my pizza, I meant to say I've got a frozen freezer in my pizza. Yeah, it's like the words obviously got muddled up. No frozen oven in the pizza.

So whatever. Anyway, I feel I've got a pizza that I can freeze in the oven. And I'm probably going to have that.

Now I realize for some of you listening, that might not be the most exciting thing that you've ever heard in your entire life. I'd like to challenge that I think it might have been. I think you're underestimating the excitement of that particular sentence.

I had a conversation with Vinnie earlier. He's weird. You know, I actually had I took him into the field yesterday.

Right. And we're halfway through the field. And I said to him, Vinnie, and he just ignored me.

He was sniffing each individual piece of grass, you know, like he does. I said, Vinnie. And I said, Vinnie, do you wanna go for a walk? And he looked at me and jumped up all excited.

We were on a walk, we were out having a walk. And I said, Do you want to go for a walk? And he's getting all excited. How weird is that? Isn't that weird? Like we already, I suppose I didn't got to repeat myself.

We were already, we were already out having a walk. I don't know why I said it to him. I mean, I guess some some people could say, Well, why did why would you say that to him? You know, he acted weird, but it's even weirder the fact that you would say, would you like to go for a walk to your dog who you're walking already? So that is an argument that could be placed, I guess.

Nevermind. When I first got in, he wouldn't sleep on the bed with me. He'd always come in here and sleep on the on the settee in his little bed that he's got.

At night, he wouldn't come in, be on the bed. He'd be on the bed during the day. But as soon as I got on the bed, he'd get out.

And I said, What is it Vinnie? Let's have a little chat. So I made us both a cup of tea. And he said, you've got some biscuits.

I said, Yeah, yeah, there you go. Chocolate ones. You can't have chocolate, can you? And he said, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

No, that's not how it works, mate. You can't have chocolates, it's bad for you. And chocolate is good for you, is it? He said to me.

It's very, very rude. I mean, it's got a point. But hey, I said to him, listen, I've noticed that you're sleeping, you know, you're in the bed all day or, you know, whenever you want to go to sleep, you're in the bed.

And as soon as I start to undress, and get into bed, you're out and you're in your, your little your little bed on the sofa. He said, Yeah. I started wondering what what what the reason for it was.

He said, it's all I don't want to be rude. I said, it's fine. Just just tell me that it's your belly.

What? It's your big fat belly. I had to sort of step back for a second. Well, not literally.

I lent back. So the reason you're not sleeping in bed is because my big fat belly. He said, Yeah, your big fat belly.

Big fat wobbly belly. It wobbles really big. I mean, look at the size of me and the size of your belly.

You could fit three of me in there. I said, Well, let's just tone it down a little bit, shall we? There's supposed to be a nice conversation. He's getting a bit rude now.

He said, Sorry, but you did mention that. I wasn't going to mention your big fat belly. But you kept saying, like, what is it? What is it? And it's okay.

So now we're talking about your big fat belly. I said, No, we're not talking about my big fat belly. We're just I just want to know why you won't sleep in the bed.

He said, Because your big fat belly. I said, Okay, I'm kind of getting that now. I said, Look.

I said, This is serious now. So don't play around anymore. I know you're joking around and that.

He said, What do you mean? I said, Well, you basically keep going about my big fat belly. He says, You do have a big fat belly. I said, Yeah, but I know you're just messing around and you're just teasing me and that.

He said, What does teasing mean? I'm only a year old. What does teasing mean? I was like, Okay, just anyway, can we just keep this? Keep this nice, a nice conversation. A sensible, friendly.

He said, Yeah, okay. Good. Okay.

Be honest with me. And are you worried that if we're in bed together, that I might roll over and because I'm mildly heavier than you? You know, you might get squashed. And he laughed.

I said, Well, that's clearly what it is, isn't it? He said, No. I said, What is it then? He said, I'm just scared you might eat me. What? I said, Look at yourself, your big fat belly.

It looks like you've eaten everything, everything and every person you've ever met. And I think you've eaten them. That's why you've got such a big fat belly.

So I'm scared you're gonna eat me. I'm not gonna. First of all, I'm not eating everybody I've ever met.

And I was speechless. I really was. I didn't want to sleep in the bed because he thought I'd eat him because I was so fat.

I've never been that hungry. You know, but which is not really a good comeback in that situation. You know, I'm scared you're gonna eat me.

Don't worry, I've never been that hungry. Rather like no, I would never do that would be a better thing to say. But then it's such a strange conversation to have.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Thank you very much for listening. My name has been and is still Jason Newland.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

Bye. Feeling a bit peckish. Vinnie, come here boy.