#968 My curly toes Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (1st February 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Newland.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Can you hear him in the background? Vinnie. He was fast asleep on the bed while I was sitting down in the living room watching YouTube and as soon as I get up off my chair he comes running in.

I turn the podcast on you know to start recording and he starts whining. What are you whining for? Come on. Come on.

God this chair's clicking a lot. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull your collar.

I was trying to see if you wanted to come up and still sit on my lap. Sit. S-I-T on my lap.

In case you misheard. So yeah and hello. I had a little bit of a I got a little bit grumpy with him earlier when I was out and we came back and he just went sat in the bedroom on the floor which he doesn't normally do and I'm thinking well how can because I'm I saw a neighbour that I talked to now and then.

And I was just moaning about him just a little bit moan. Because things like this just annoy me what he's doing now because he's going to start barking and I have to move into the bedroom then I have to close the door I have to close this door which means it's just you know. Huh? Huh? I don't know why he can't just be quiet.

In fact wait a second I'm gonna see if I give him a bone maybe that'll keep him happy. That's a proper crackly chair. Do you want this bone? Do you want it? Yeah? There you go.

Right I've just given him a a little bone thing to chew so you may hear him in the background. I'm hoping it's a distraction. I'm hoping whether it is or whether it isn't is another thing but he hopes it is.

So you can probably hear that now. So yeah it's I had to give him a cuddle and said like oh I love you and because he looked like he was upset at me and I'm thinking well he can't understand what I'm saying surely but I guess the energy that comes off is gonna he's gonna get that so I was being a little bit negative and like oh I'm sorry mate give me cuddles and I'm tired. He's been all right since then.

I had a bit of a play earlier he was he's even laid on my lap for a bit which he doesn't really do. It's very rare that he sort of actually lays down on my lap. So he's I just have to well my friend pointed out that because I said well he doesn't you know he just makes such a commotion when I pick him up and he said well maybe he doesn't like you picking him up.

I was like oh yeah that actually kind of makes sense doesn't it because he's only little and being picked up it's not like he he because I've only had him for a few weeks and he's nearly a year old. He's a year old on the 22nd of February so in 21 days or whatever so he might not be used to being picked up or maybe he was picked up and he didn't like it when he was and he didn't have any choice because it was too little to stop it. So now he's big enough to sort of say no you know I mean he knows what he wants he knows what he likes so yeah I kind of I need to start respecting that.

I need to learn I need to grow as a person become become wiser. He seems happy he seems happy as long as I think that's part of the reason he runs away when I put my hand out to him because he thinks I'm gonna pick him up and he doesn't want me to. So now I don't I'm not I don't pick him up anymore apart from just then when I forgot for a second but it was only just to put him on my lap so he could you know play around but I guess if he wanted to come on my lap he'd jump onto my lap wouldn't he and maybe he'll do that in the future.

He jumps on my lap when I'm lying not lying down when I'm in the uh sitting down on the settee. So today I I I properly yawned it. Perhaps I shouldn't be doing this when I'm yawning.

Yeah I want to fall asleep myself and this silly chair can you hear it? I need a chair a proper chair that doesn't click. I can't just sit here static and never move you know it's not it's no hum hugely comfortable comfortable. What's going on there? Okay 846 I'm sure I had 847 subscribers earlier.

Yeah I'm sure I did 846 845 and 846 today. Yeah I thought I had maybe more. So I've cancelled some of my monthly subscriptions and I've still got a few to do.

In fact I need to write one down when I think about it. Yeah okay right. So I've cancelled Spotify, Dazone, Netflix, Disney.

I've not cancelled Netflix yet. I've cancelled Now TV, Movies and the Entertainment and their booster. I've cancelled Audible.

Although Audible is something that I do use a lot. So it might not be a good might have to sort of reinstate that one. I've cancelled Amazon Prime.

Again that is handy because I get free postage and I do buy stuff you know things that I need from there. I've cancelled the Microsoft 360. That's like gives you a word and all that stuff and I don't use it.

So I've got rid of that. I was using it. I've cancelled the YouTube subscription premium and that's going to be one of the hardest ones because I'm used to be able to watch YouTube without adverts.

That's not the adverts at the beginning of the thing. That doesn't bother me. It's the ones that are in the middle and if you watch sometimes I watch something on YouTube that lasts maybe 20 minutes and there'll be adverts be like four or five adverts in the middle of the actual thing dotted all over and it's I just find it annoying.

Adverts at the beginning and adverts at the end doesn't bother me because I don't I wouldn't watch the ones at the end and if it's an advert at the beginning that's fine. It's only 30 seconds or whatever but I don't want the thing continuously interrupted while I'm watching it. So I might just have to stop watching YouTube for a while and yeah so that's so I've been doing that.

I've been trying to make some changes trying to pay off bills and all that exciting stuff yeah oh mmm sniffy so exciting all that stuff uh did I mention that I lost weight yeah every single day this week so far okay fair enough I don't know I'm just kind of excited uh I had the doctors phone me today so they've given me a mental health evaluation is in I think the end of the month sometime I don't know I wrote it down somewhere because I've now got a mental health nurse I mean I don't I

don't know I mean can a mental health nurse give a mental health evaluation can a mental health nurse um diagnose diagnose as you move through your career there are advanced skills which can develop and you may wish to train as an advanced nurse practitioner allowing you to work autonomously to assess treat mental health illnesses ah do this is the NHS nurses what does a mental and a mental health nurse do okay what the heck the internet's really not working very well at the moment like click okay okay I mean maybe I suppose if all the

nurses are on strike are on the website looking at nurses.

co. uk no one else is going to be able to get on there are they because or is it teachers today I forget someone's on strike today I think it was the teachers in this very insightful pic okay that's weird I press refresh and it's still not doing it why is that I've done it again no it's not oh yes now it's working so this is the the nurses. co.

uk what does a mental health nurse do this is from the 16th of December 2019 in this very insightful piece find out what it takes to be a mental health nurse and what you can expect from your role as one it was updated 21st of January 2021 whether that for nurses who specialize in supporting people with mental health issues are called registered mental health nurses or rmns there are nearly 290 000 nurses registered with the nursing midwifery council in England and 12 34 000 of those are registered mental health nurses a similar percentage of the

nurse profession rmns in Scotland see I I don't know so 34 000 registered mental health nurses but what's involved because for a psychiatrist it you know you have to be a medical doctor and then study to be a psychiatrist and for a psychologist you have to have a I think it's a phd to become a psychologist so you have to do a degree undergraduate masters and then phd so I don't know there's there's a I'm I'm just guessing to 34 000 nurses in England didn't take a phd simply because it's a heck of a lot

of time to do it I might be wrong and I mean there was a time when nurses didn't have to have a degree it's only the last I think 20 years or so that nurses like I dated nurses when I was in my 20s and nursing college I think was three years you went to college you know you basically the practical and at the end of it you was a nurse and then I don't know if it was the 2000s that they brought in that all nurses had to have a degree apart from there was

a grand I think it was a grandfather clause or grandmother clause so anyone already qualified as a nurse didn't have to have a degree but anyone starting their training had to train to degree level to have a degree in nursing yeah I know I know too much about this stuff I mean I might be outdated and it might all be lies I do apologize and mental health nurses work with individuals across the lifespan from specialist prenatal services child adolescent working age and later life a nurse work in the community is a more autonomous way though

okay so it's different from working in an actual inpatient spoon so let's have a look divide and prize following assessments nurses will offer short-term interventions which may include various support things okay you may be in us may may have been asked what as I may carry a case load between 20 to 30 individuals okay so ah I'm wondering I want to find out what it takes to become a mental health nurse the reason I say that is because this is only what I've heard and read from this pain specialists chronic pain specialists that chronic pain

is not something that's hardly even touched upon in the training of a physician like a doctor you know obviously anesthesia anesthetic is person and it's anesthesia anesthesia I can't say I can't spell it um you know the person that puts people under anesthetic in hospitals of course they're they're specialists in that stuff um but a general doctor doesn't apparently doesn't learn much about that and they don't learn a huge amount about mental health or mental illness either apparently I don't know if it's true someone's blowing the cobwebs out of my brain what mental health training

do GPs get do do doctors get mental health training or primary care as soon as well okay how much training to doctor do doctors get in mental health to become a psychiatrist okay that's a completely different thing isn't it to become a psychiatrist you'll need to complete a five-year degree in medicine recognized by the general medical council a two-year foundation program of general training three years of core training in psychiatry and yeah so the but then uh what training what what does a GP do should we test my knowledge on the thing um how to

become clinical psychologist psychologist here we go okay how long does it take to be clinics okay you will need a three-year taught doctorate in clinical psychology so a phd so yeah uh but in order to do that you have to have a undergraduate and then a master's I think some people can skip straight to the doctorate without doing a master's but I'm not quite sure what the rules are on that I suppose some some people can I've heard I don't know if it might not be true I mean I'm making up 94% of what I'm

saying most of the time I think I say I make up 94% of what I'm saying about 26% of the time the problem is fractions ain't my strong thing how do I how do you do I need a phd to be a clinical psychologist in the UK after you what don't you say yes I never just say yes or no have to like go into lots of you know me I like straight to the point I don't like lots and lots of chatter talking and talking and talking and talking just get to the point no

don't don't go around the hours it's just just get to the point like I do do you need a phd to be a clinical psychologist in the UK or it says in UK not the UK after your degree you'll need a postgraduate doctorate in clinical psychology there's usually a lot of competition for places on postgraduate courses to get a place on a course you'll need a two to one upper second class in your degree ah so maybe you don't need a master's I thought a master's what you need can I become a clinical psychologist by

doing a BA in psychology no but okay let's see what it says you might wonder if you could become a psychologist right after graduation from your bachelor's course the simple answer is no you have to do your post-graduation in the field of psychology to become a psychologist do clinical psychologists get paid well in the UK an experienced clinical son blah blah earns between 47 to 63 thousand a year um see I noticed that not about the money but the the spaces on the courses it's not it's not like an abundance of spaces like you know

with a lot of university courses providing you've got the money you can you know that you can pay for it and you fit certain criteria you can get onto the course uh or with master's you know as long as you've got a the correct mark or grade from your previous undergraduate degree you can apply for the course and generally get on it but with clinical psychologists it's a bit I don't know it's it's not the most open door ever not that it affects me because you know I don't want to be a clinical psychologist I'd

love to be a clinical psychologist I would love to be called a doctor Dr Dr Jason wow never gonna happen never guinea happen never gonna happen it's all right I don't mind I did I don't know if I mentioned it I think it was last year or the year before I applied for a positive psychology master's and it was in a university it wasn't that far away from here anyway I got the money I applied for a grant or loan or whatever it was student loan and I got it 10 grand I know I'm going

to give me the money but they were going to send the money directly to the university providing I was accepted on the course the course turned me down because my grades weren't good enough from my previous course and so there's discrimination towards people with mental health issues and you might think well how do you work that one out well the only reason I got a bad grade is because I was a little bit ill during the course so I I got help from the from the course itself from the people and I told them what

was going on and they were brilliant and I was just very late with a lot of coursework I passed every piece of coursework I ever handed in and but it was capped at the lowest mark like I think 40 percent and it was for the last year I pretty much didn't you know I didn't I was yeah the last year I'd have to get in everything on time and pass everything to get a 2-2 but I end up getting a third so if I'd have handed in everything on time I would have got a second

you know throughout the whole course I wouldn't have got a first not not based on the level of the quality of the coursework that I did wouldn't have got a first so that's that's I'm not I'm not saying I couldn't have got a first if I put more effort in or if I'd had more confidence in myself but I would have got a second if I'd have handed everything in on time in all three of the years but I didn't I was pretty good in the first year the second year it got worse and third

year it was just nothing was handed in on time and the second year I think half the half of the year it wasn't handed in on time so you know I might have got a yeah I'd have got a second two two two two one one two two two one I don't know two second right but I got a third anyway in the end I suppose it's not a matter of what I could have got it's what I did get but I tried to explain this in my application for the positive psychology and I've been

interested in positive psychology since probably about 2007 I discovered it before I went to college and I started watching and listening to lectures online from universities I loved it I really got into it is it Seligman Seligman Seligman or something his name is one of the pioneers of it all uh one of the like the people who's famous I've got a lot of today haven't I I think it's because I'm drinking coke so um oh that was weird did you hear that that's my internal organs making weird squeaky noises I couldn't believe that I got

the money that you know I've been so the the loan department quite happy for me to get another loan to do another course but the university new new new new new new new new new so it's a little bit of a shame because it was a master's and the way I figured it is if I do really well at the master's that will then cancel out the bad grade for the undergraduate you know the third on the undergraduate won't matter anymore because all I'll be looking at is the master's so if I can get a

first on the master's and I apply to do a doctorate PhD in whatever lego building or whatever interests me then they're going to look at the master's and they're not going to be interested in the undergraduate they're more interested I'm guessing in the last qualification the most recent qualification and the highest level of qualification which would be the master's oh well even the open university wouldn't allow me to do a master's even paying for it myself a couple of years ago I applied and that nope nope we don't think that you're up for it up

to doing it because of your grade from your last course and I put down I had bipolar again it's like if I hadn't mentioned that because they put down any disabilities and bipolar is a disability it's an official disability you know so I'll put it down I'll try and be honest and it's weird it's like what was I'm pretty sure if they sat in a room with me they wouldn't be focusing on any kind of mental health issues they wouldn't be focusing on my age and they'd be they'll be distracted by that stuff because of

the smell because I really stink well that's well I don't know about you but when I got a job interview I like to roll around in the park in all the dog poo this is one of those things it's it's like a mental rehearsal for me um no I don't do that why did why did I say that that's weird but I I like to think that if I actually was face to face with them they'd see me and realize that I'm I don't know I'm not perhaps what they think I am or what their

perception is from looking at a piece of paper with information about me there's there's more to us than just a few words isn't there than just like a description of a of a medical condition or whatever we're human beings and it's got layers I've got two layers and some people have got more layers I guess and I don't know this is a bit of a shame but of shame because I'd like to do a master's in chronic pain but I don't want to just focus on what what it is and what causes it and all

the physical aspects and the medical aspects and the physiological aspects and anatomy and all that stuff because well I've already kind of already studied that stuff with books from the past that I've read but I'm more interested in releasing or reducing or relieving those physical sensations that's the thing that interests me and that's the thing that I'd like to learn in a course does that make sense it's it's like something I mean I could do I suppose I could do there's lots of courses that are out there I've done quite a few courses online and

through the post over the years as well as like in person going on courses and courses that were part of the training when I was a counsellor you know stress training dealing with depression I did a whole week on depression once I was qualified there was this whole week of this new technique that everyone had to be updated with and so the whole course was about dealing counselling people with depression and the first thing they said to us is that who's I don't know what I think it was like a day in a way but

they said what's the worst what do you think is the worst condition that a client presents you know in a counselling session the hardest one to help and I shouted out depression and they said no that's not the right answer next because the whole point of the course was that we could deal with depression it wasn't like but I always found this one of the hardest things I had a client once and he was actually laughing with me we were laughing we were joking around and I know that it's that's got nothing to do with

illness and stuff but his thinking or her thinking was I'm always this way not the laughing bit but the other you know the negative side but they're not no one's always anything and it's a weird one so that I mean with anxiety and stuff like that it's partly why but it's not partly it's a big reason why I do what I do is I had this idea many many years ago and I'm talking long before I even started doing this probably 2000 2001 and then again in about 2003 then again in 2004 and then again

in 2006 and that's when I started doing this but I thought and there's this little idea in my mind and I've had another idea that I've wanted to do all the way through but not able to really do it or I wanted to do it in a certain way and that is to just do one recording every day which is in itself helps people without being direct without sort of telling anyone what to do or even suggesting what to do just a very indirect very vague very peaceful very calming perhaps fun as well you know

have a laugh have a joke or two not take things too seriously but just one recording maybe every day or regularly which would then help everybody I don't mean everybody in the whole world because everyone's got their own thing and some people could not I've been told many times over the years cannot stand listening to me because I I talk too slowly and that's fine you know listen to someone that speaks faster if that's the case because there are people out there but probably most people talk faster than me especially on YouTube because there's this

software now that an AI software that actually you can put your video through this software and it cuts out all the gaps so literally every time a word ends the other word starts which is why it sounds so unrealistic it sounds so doesn't sound right to me it doesn't sound right to me but on the flip side I think I'm in the minority because those videos are the most popular videos on YouTube nearly well I've watched a lot of a lot of popular YouTube channels a lot of it for research really just to see what's

popular and there's a lot of young people and what they're doing isn't really aimed at me and I've watched really young people and then you know that are doing stuff and I'll give you an example MrBeast is now the biggest YouTuber in the world pretty much there's a lot of copycats of him and there's one in Russia that basically copies every well apparently according to the YouTube the YouTube according to MrBeast himself actually he did an interview and apparently this Russian YouTuber copies MrBeast's videos including the thumbnails and everything just basically makes the videos himself

but copies the content and he's got millions of subscribers so there's quite a few copycats there but they all one thing they have in common is they talk very quickly very quickly and I think sometimes that might be part of the reason you know for the let's say the lack of relaxation maybe in today's world like a bit of an overload maybe and I remember when when I was younger I could pretty much take on anything I could handle most things you know to it I don't mean when I was at school I mean once

I was out working you know I could do really pressure jobs not complicated jobs but like full-on constant for hours and hours and hours I could go for hours when I was when I was young and then when I got to my late 20s well you know after sort of you know I was on antidepressants at 25 and from then things sort of changed a bit and I didn't seem to have the same the same ability to deal as I used to and I just got it just got less I seem to be less able

to I could relax easier I could you know kind of let go a bit feel calmer talk slower I remember I had to teach myself to stop clenching my stomach now I think that's when I started having a belly because when I was I'm talking probably 28 29 I was walking around and I was trying to relax my stomach I was listening to meditation tapes motivational tapes and relaxation tapes tapes CDs whatever I was trying to relax different parts of my body but my stomach was always tight it's not that I had like a six

pack or anything but I was slim and I always had a firm stomach I always did or pretty much my whole life until that point until I was 30 and I was trying to hold my stomach in because I didn't need to like now if I tense my stomach I have to wait about 10 minutes to feel whether or not it's tense but I think it's tense and I have to really dig deep oh yeah there's there's what used to be a muscle and there's another one but this is like seven inches away I don't

I'm not sure I don't know where I don't know what's inside there now they used to be muscles but so I started to learn to let my stomach just relax and it took absolutely ages to do it I learned to do it but it took practice day in day out for months really it wasn't all I thought about so it wasn't anything like that it's like oh well you know I wasn't meditating on relaxing my stomach but whenever I noticed I was tense in my stomach I just let it go maybe take a deep breath

allow my stomach to kind of stretch and then just exhale and let it just not flop the way it does now but you know I'm sitting on the chair but the belly just flops onto the floor remember the blob the movie the blob yep that's my belly and so I it took ages another thing it took me ages to do that I used to do this and I don't know why I did it when I was about nine I realized that my toes were curled up when I was walking home from school they were curled

up like not upwards but well that would be weird wouldn't it well I think it's weird but my toes were curled inwards like I was clenching like you clench your fist that kind of thing not like completely but they were definitely clenched so I started to relax my toes and I started to try and walk with my toes just flat and relax and it took ages to train myself to do that never mentioned it to anyone never told anyone about it and I don't know why I did it I don't know why I used to

have my toes like that and I don't know why how I came to realize my toes were like that but it just I think one day I was walking home and it was a long walk and I realized wait a minute why are my toes I waited I found I think a tree fell on my feet and I like it hasn't hit my toes because I had clown's feet on clown's shoes and stuff I'm like oh so that's not true but it was really weird I don't know if I don't know why but I learned

to relax my toes and relax my feet and what I also learned when I was young oh just checking time okay what I learned is during something that I've always needed is space and time on my own always since I was a small child it's not like it's a new thing like it's something that it's something I never grew out of wasn't a childish thing unless it is a childish thing I'm just not grown up that is a possibility but I always at times specifically at certain times needed to be on my own like at

all costs I needed to be on my own you know I'd literally I'd pay someone to leave me alone just leave me alone whether it was to read a book or just to be by myself I don't know why but that's when I feel the most comfortable the most relaxed is okay not always not always but when when I need that that's when I feel relaxed you know I can't lie and say I've always felt relaxed when I'm on my own that's not always the case I never need to be around anyone that's not true

either you know sometimes I do feel the need to have a an interaction with a human sometimes that that feeling is quite strong it's rare but sometimes it's quite strong you know I really feel I need to sort of talk to someone not about anything particular because I've never really found humans to be much use for that stuff and we're just the ones that I've known you know when it comes to problems and stuff people are just busy with their own stuff aren't they you know sometimes it seems to be I'm the one that people

come to yeah well so I I I I discovered that one of the things that used to soothe me was singing to myself whilst walking now I started doing it when I'd walk around the field at lunchtime I did it in junior school I also did in high school as well maybe not in the later years but definitely in the early years I did like first and maybe second year what maybe yeah once I got into the third maybe second even I had friends and I was playing and I didn't necessarily walk around singing to

myself but I did in the first year and I did in junior school and what I do is on the way home I would spend I'd finish it I think what three o'clock was it half three in the afternoon I'd get home half four five it it wasn't it was a journey it was quite a distance to walk but it wasn't that long it's I just really walked very slowly very slow it'd even be it'd be dark even in the summer by the time I got home like two in the morning or whatever and no

one could figure out why I took so long to get home but what they didn't realize and I didn't realize either really because I was like nine ten years old I didn't didn't really understand the reasoning or the meaning behind it or the you know why I was doing it but I just knew that I needed to but it calmed me down so I could be on my own hopefully no one would walk with me because then that would just sometimes I'd turn off and say I'm going this way and so they'd walk on and

then wait and then I'd carry on walking I'd go back the other or turn around the corner and come back the same way because I didn't want to sort of walk with anyone now he's having a drink of water just in case you think it's me my stomach or me just drinking some water I'd be a good ventriloquist wouldn't I if I could talk and do that at the same time I'm wondering though now he's done that is he going to come and hassle me now he's had his bone and he's had his water and

now he is literally sitting right in front of me underneath the table hopefully he's had his satisfaction and he realizes that he's a lucky boy and he's had his treat and he's sitting to the left of me now so I'm hoping if I ignore him he won't realize that I know he's there and he won't he won't start doing exactly what he's doing now yeah our chances of that oh dear oh we did quite well we nearly nearly got through the whole thing without him but I really benefited stop it mate please I give you

cuddles all you want and I've given you a treat but I can't play with you because I'm making a podcast yeah I'll sing you a lullaby later what do you say to that would you like me to sing you a lullaby later what do I sound like when I sing a lullaby to you can you do an impression I do not sound like that I don't sound like that when I do like when I sing you a lullaby what do I sound like Vinnie and now he's looking at himself yep what do I sound like

when I when I do lullaby when I sing a song to you what do I sound like what do I sound like hey what do I sound like huh what I don't sound I'm not that high pitched wow and the cuddles I give you cuddles you can have cuddles if you want I can't play with you but I can give you cuddles all you like you can have daddy cuddles all day long yes you can yes you can you deserve it you're a good boy aren't you five percent of the time aren't you a good

boy aren't you a good little girl good little girl good little girl yes owie so now he's biting me because he wants to play he's happy if he's biting my my hands in his mouth he's happy but now he's got something else in his mouth I don't know what it is he's crunching it so he's happy now it's one of these various bits from the floor nice so yeah I just remembered that was very important for me to have my space and no one I've ever met has really understood the that need I mean I

guess in a way I've never really understood it not really just it's just it helps it's when I feel most relaxed is when I'm on my own and I don't mean on my own on my own I mean if I've got this little boy or when I had Andre or when I had Milton the goldfish you know so I've got company or if I've got Herbert Herbert the uh pigeon on the windowsill I think it's just special time it's and I value it if I don't have to see anybody or speak to it's just oh

exactly it's it just feels so nice doesn't it you want some pizza don't you you can't have pizza you're not allowed to have pizza oh he wants to bite okay you can bite my hand that's right come on I don't mind you can bite my fingers he never bites me hard he just plays that's all he loves doing it's one of his favorite things to do is to bite me oh hey yes yes I think it um I think it's similar thing it's like it's it's his way of testing things out with his teeth or

his mouth and his smell sort of his smell and his taste that you know he can't I guess but we could feel things he can't do that can oh yeah what's that what's that what's that god look at them sharp teeth ouch ouch ouch ow ow stop it stop it stop it ow you're hurting me you're hurting me anyway ow I'm in the security job and this is about 97 I think and it was in a former former mental hospital mental that's what they used to call them asylums back then hospital in north London but

it was all empty so that the hospital itself was empty and all the surrounding land which was huge was empty and all the houses on the surrounding land where some of the residents would live and the staff would live that was all empty as well and my job was to parole patrol patrol the area and make sure that no one was in there and the the bloke that was in charge at weekends he wasn't there but during the week he was there and he was belligerent real just he just shouted always shouting about things and

angry angry little man was a quite big man but he was angry so I used to try and keep away from him because I just didn't really want to be around him and he moaned said oh I don't believe your security people they even do a patrol so I thought okay so what I did is I spent the whole day patrolling I walked all the way around about five six times yeah I literally did walk around every single place I was supposed to a lovely day a really nice day it was lovely weather and he

got back in and he said you just went off site didn't you I said no he said you didn't patrol I said yeah I did that's what I've been doing so where you been the last six hours patrolling that's what he said no I came out looking for you I couldn't see you that's because I was hiding from you I mean why do you think I was out there I mean did you not notice when I walked up to you I was dressed as a tree so I was dressed as a hospital so he yeah

got me sacked so it was brilliant that's a nice story yeah everyone got sacked and the security company kept selling them yeah it was sacking them and they wouldn't they just moved them to a different venue a different um site because this this bloke was never pleased he was could never please him so he's continuously getting rid of people I want him sacked a little power power thing you know because this hospital it was I think it's the longest hospital in Europe apparently and it was worth well multiple millions of pounds back then but it

got sold for a pound they sold it for a pound because the maintenance the security of all the surrounding area was costing huge amounts of money every month and they couldn't people that owned it couldn't afford it or the government couldn't afford it so they just sold it for a pound to a private company and that area in today's prices would potentially could be worth billions you think about the amount of houses they could build and the kind of stuff they could build this maybe not billions but a heck of a lot of money it's

I would say it was a size of it's hard to say because I know people from around the world are listening and huge really really it took about an hour to walk around from one you know to walk around the whole thing so that's quite a long not my normal slow pace you know I mean I can tell you I can walk a mile and spend an hour doing it so it was really huge area and we didn't even go near the near the actual hospital because that was all cordoned off you weren't allowed near

the hospital so it's all so really we missed out about a quarter of the area so I reckon it probably is housing housing development and someone got very very wealthy off of it yeah probably a probably an MP probably the a member of parliament that sold it to his mate for a pound probably no that doesn't go on does it no of course not no no huh right it's time for me to it's not weird now it's time for me to go he's at my feet laying down nice and calm peaceful very happy anyway now

that I've stopped the recording yet for 10 minutes he was anyway I'm gonna go now gonna gonna go now thank you very much for listening remember to be kind to yourself be gentle with yourself because you deserve to be happy do something do something you enjoy today or tomorrow just choose one thing that you enjoy doing and do it if you can lots of love bye