#999 Nearly 1000 episodes Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (2nd May 2023)

Hello and welcome to a squeaky chair. Welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason.

Jason Newland. My website is jasonnewland.com where there are lots of recordings. Give it a visit because it is a very very exciting website.

And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So yeah, that is it. I haven't made a recording for a few days because of stuff I can't even mention.

Unfortunately, well not unfortunately, it's just it's not nice stuff. Just been some horrible stuff going on. Just you know life.

But yeah I thought I'd better do a do a recording. Catch up with you all. And I got a message from It's half past seven in the evening.

It's still light outside and the birdies are singing and I'm ready for bed. It's ridiculous isn't it. I'm actually ready for bed.

Oh dear. So what have I got. This is a message.

This is actually on. This is a review submission on my website. So I will read it out in full because it's not like a personal message to me.

It's from Quillen. I might have pronounced that incorrectly. Hello five out of five is the headline.

I'm just going to pretend the accent. So I don't know. I am new to listening to your podcasts.

But I had to let you know that I am enjoying every bit. I have heard so far. I have had a bad time with insomnia and stress over the last few years.

You see what I mean. It seems a bit wrong to do a silly voice over that bit. So sorry about that.

I was searching for a way to allow myself to sleep or at the minimum something to keep me entertained while I stare at the ceiling. You know a lot of women, a lot of my girlfriends have said that in the past. Wish they had something to entertain themselves while they stare at the ceiling.

I can gently fall asleep sooner than I previously. I'm able to calm down enough. I agree.

I agree it takes time and also will be easier with practice. I'm happy I found you and Vinnie. Hugs to Vinmeister.

This review was submitted on your website and will be visible to all your visitors. So quillen, quillen, quillen, quillen, quillen, quillen, quillen, quillen, not quillen. But I don't know how to pronounce your name.

Q U E L L E N.

Now for long-time listeners you will know that I'm very normally very very proficient at pronouncing people's names correctly in fact you could say it's one of my superpowers yes yes I did have another message from where is it okay we go from Kevin okay hot Ukrainian lady go to the best website Ukrainian girls online enjoy cute issue no that's the email I got which is a bit strange Heather I listened to your podcast last night just so I do a message for you to let you know that I'm happy for you to share the message

if that was something you wanted to do I know there are people out there probably in the same position as me and it's always nice not to feel like you're in it alone best wishes Heather okay cool thanks Heather what I'll do is I will read the message out that Heather sent me I didn't really read it out before I kind of gave it a gist gist gist gist of it but here is this is sent to me on Thursday the April 27th yeah so it's last Thursday that must have been the last time I

did a recording hi Jason this message is just appreciation for how much you have helped me and impacted my life when I first started listening to let me bore you to sleep I was 17 Wow so that's but I realized this a long time ago because I don't know how old you are now she's now 73 my anxiety was at the worst it had ever been stopping me from sleeping at that time I didn't think I would make it out of sixth form so those that don't know what sixth form is because if you're not

in England I don't think you have sixth form in other countries sixth form is the years between probably 16 years old and 18 year old before going to university so you'd get your A levels or AS levels whatever they're called I don't know what they are in America or Canada or Australia or New Zealand or I don't know other places Norway or whatever but in in England I'm guessing that Heather's from the UK because just because she said about she didn't think she'd finish sixth form and anyway so after trialing many techniques to help me

sleep and improve my anxiety I came across your podcasts and to say they changed my life would be an understatement I was able to sleep again your podcast helped me keep my anxious thoughts at bay enough to do that okay I wholly believe that if I had not found your podcasts when I did I wouldn't have made it out of sixth form and completed my A levels I am now 73 no 21 so I am now 21 finishing a degree and moving on to a master's still listening to your podcast almost nightly once again I

can't thank you enough for keeping up with what you were doing best wishes Heather a severely anxious teenager turned less anxious adult thanks to you Wow that's that's an incredible message isn't it and so thank you Heather I read it out because you gave permission for me to do that I've got in trouble a few times over the years for reading out messages that were not supposed to be read out so if if it seems quite personal I generally don't read it out I never identify where someone's from Liverpool 44 Ranford Avenue LV 7493 telephone

number 444 fine line footage I'm joking no I'd never I don't give any information about who the person is I'd only really read out their full name is if they'd left the message you know a review like on YouTube or fake book or something like that I would put it you know and I just want a subject of fake book has anyone noticed I don't go on to Facebook very often which is maybe is why I've got this but I've well done you earned the top contributor badge in let me bore you to sleep top

contributor Wow I didn't know that Jason Newland member of let me bore you to sleep since 17th of April 2019 3778 friends top contributor I'm the only contributor blimey it's a Facebook here we go whenever I go to the first page of Facebook all it is is these memes or groups that aren't real groups there's no people the first one is proper Manchester where do people old people over the age of 40 have the phone case that opens like a book well they don't so you know I don't have that and I'm over 90 Manchester

Evening News where can we go on holiday when we want a family said they've never left angry after being found 480 pounds for taking their children away during school time I mean what's that got to do with anything why do reluctant entertainer John oh I got one person and a huge a person John Brewer suggested for you again this is these are just people they're not like friends I've got no no posts on here from the friends in my list and I kind of don't understand why it's just all silly stuff all stuff suggested for

me where's the actual like friends list there's none it's literally none none none none at all oh no suggested for me so people that I don't follow suggestion suggestions just just how do I get to my friends list to actually find out notifications no notifications menu Jason Newland hypnotist so I go there so that's just my posts because it's my page so if I want to go to I want to change that switch into oh so Helen I saw I have got some okay okay we're back on it now so seems to found it seem

to have found a page where people's stuff is okay cool I still confused oh well I don't care I'm also blocked not blocked but I'm logged out of Twitter so I don't know it can't even get into Twitter now I don't know if it's been hacked or whacked or backed or tacked or racked I don't know but I can't get into it it don't allow me back I don't know I don't understand no so in in England but I don't know the UK maybe we just got through a bank holiday weekend it's called May Day

and it was the 1st of May on Monday so Tuesday now it's a 2nd of May and what that is is basically I don't know what it is it's it's a holiday it's a bank holiday I don't know what it's to celebrate shall I find out what does May Day celebrate anybody anyone know does anybody know what to celebrate what does May Day celebrate I'll put UK so we know what it is okay May Day or the first Monday in May only became a bank holiday in 1978 but its origins origins origins as a day

of celebrations go back over 2,000 years can you imagine some people listen to this podcast are in countries that aren't even that old your country your country isn't even 2,000 years old Wow can you imagine it falls roughly between the spring equinox and the summer solstice and the Celts or Celts celebrated it at as it as it the as first day first of summer yeah so celebrate at the first day of summer calling it Beltane Beltane don't know what the heck that means was it the May Day we used to run around the the May

the May thing like a piece of like string and write like the Maypole is it is there's a picture of a Maypole oh so basically we did this last time I did the Maypole I think I was in junior school it's very very a lot of fun it's a little bit like knitting in a way but on a really big scale and the thing you knit ends up just being a cover of a tall fell not phallus um very tall pokey I don't know pole yeah I guess Maypole yeah and so you run around it

but you go in and out of each other so the person to your right maybe you go out of them and then and then the next person you go in and the next person you go out the next person you go in so you get you in and out of each of the people around you and eventually you end up with like a really nice pattern on the pole and it's done to music there's usually like a band or something like that it's a little bit like pass the parcel but without the parcel or the

music stopping or starting or chairs so it's exactly like part of the pass the parcel but without you know anything related to it why do we celebrate May Day in the I thought it's always there why do we celebrate in May well we could celebrate in June could we May Day celebrations date back to our pagan heritage because you know we're pagans in this country originally we were pagans but the thing is because we see very much into nature you know it's kind of weird considering how far away or how how far where we are

from nature these days in a sense of the environmental issues going on when our whole lives were based around nature you know worshipping nature worshipping the Sun and the weather and you know things like that I don't know much about it but yeah it's kind of full circle so maybe we'll get back to that maybe maybe but it's a long time ago we were a mishmash over here anyway I mean we've been invaded by so many different places like countries since well in thousands of years how many have we been invaded by I want to

ask how many countries have invaded England okay so various sovereign states within the territorial space that constitutes the British Isles has been invaded several times including by the Romans by the Germanic peoples by the Vikings by the Normans by the French and by the Dutch those damn Dutch well it's would you do how many times just have a look the four main invasions of the British Isles the first one took place 400 BC when the Celts armed with iron weapons conquered Kent and much of southern England it count is that Scotland they spread north and

posed their language on the natives is that is that Scotland or I don't know okay how many countries of British have the British invaded let's not let's not go there come on it's not go let's not ruin it let's not ruin it for everybody by focusing on what the bad things that we have done come on let's be let's just pretend that we're good how many countries has Britain tried to take over has this is such a weird thing have the British ever been conquered yet many times times Norman conquest 1066 AD wasn't that the

fire of London 1066 or was that the Battle of Trafalgar or was that when there was a tea cake the tea room I know that was the Battle of Trafalgar they were eating cakes when they or something and before that was France about spout of Trafalgar 1066 1066 AD led by Duke William of Normandy so Normandy so that's Normandy the Normans invaded conquered England after being victorious in the infamous Battle of Hastings Battle of Hastings I knew it was one of them you know I've actually been to Hastings I have never been to Trafalgar although

used to celebrate Trafalgar not personally but the Battle of Trafalgar was a I used to be in a sea cadets and every year we used to go to you know I don't even know where it was but it was on a coach and I wasn't driving so I don't know where we went to I just arrived there and I think it might be in London actually possibly the palace and the sea cadets and the Navy you know from all over the country would all get together to be thousands and thousands of sea cadets and Navy

people marching with their bands and stuff and yeah it would be a celebratory thing of the Battle of Hastings the back the Battle of Trafalgar rather because that was successful I think after being victorious in the infamous infamous was quite famous in it well it's saying it's infamous when it's clearly quite well known Battle of Hastings I mean I didn't remember it but it's well known enough to be here the Normans secured their stronghold over the nation by constructing forts and castles such as a Tower of London and Windsor Castle the Tower of London was

built by the Normans and Windsor Castle Wow so when did they leave when did the Normans leave when did they leave and I went to the Hastings this is a strange time I was what was I I think it's like early 90s what about 92 maybe 93 92 93 yeah around that time and I admit yeah this lady knocked on my door my door and my landlady was disabled so I think she must have shouted up to me to answer the door so I did no yeah I'm not sure maybe but I think she was

selling the what do you call it there's a paper and it was it was like for working rights I forget the name of it not communist but it was kind of I guess it would be classed as kind of communist but not really it was more just about people having rights and being looked after and stuff people are working and equality and stuff so there's this man that's what the paper was for and it was every week and I had it for a couple of years I signed up and got it because I was quite

a little bit socially conscious this slightly I wanted there to be equal rights and I wanted people to be treated fairly but I also didn't want to do anything to help so I was kind of like it's in my spirit I was very for all this stuff but didn't want to actually have to do anything they want to actively participate in anything and I think part of that was because I was busy I was working all day and I was trying to sort of create some kind of comedy career which clearly didn't work and yes

I guess I didn't really have a social life outside of the weekend when I went to gigs when I wasn't performing I was visiting you know comedy clubs and so that's kind of what I did that was the main thing that I did in my life so this was something a little bit it was a socialist a socialist paper socialism and so you know I mean my background is very very low low not low class but what if in the class system very low down you know but this is not so extreme as it used

to be you know probably before I was born but you know I was always I was born on a council estate I lived on a council estate I've lived on multiple council estates during my life I'm living on one now so but in the mean in the interim I've also lived in my dad was he did really well he had his own business and for between the ages of 9 and 15 so what's that 10 11 12 13 14 15 blimey only six years but it seemed like forever between 9 and 15 we lived in

a nice house it was always a building site for a long time because anyone that lives with everyone and he lived with a builder or electrician or plumber or a carpenter or any you know someone like that they tend to I don't know everyone ever spoke to said yet house was like a building site nearly all the time constantly doing something a rooms being renovated or an extensions being put in or bathrooms being changed or all kinds of different things so it's you know my dad worked very hard on not just working but also on

rebuilding the house because it was a little bit derelict when we moved in and so I didn't live in a council of property then so basically what was I lived in council property when I was born I was born into council property living in London my granddad and grandmother lived in council house my dad had a council house as far as I know we were living in there to the ages of six months and then I thought I lived with foster parents for about a year and a half two years I don't know if they

live in a council house or they had their own house hundred percent do not know but I know that when I moved away from there I lived on a council estate in Newcastle from the ages of two and a half to about four maybe five and then I didn't live in children's homes to the ages of just before seven and then I lived in a council house then I lived in another council house and then the age of nine lived in a house in the age of 15 I lived in another council flat for a

year and then I lived in a in a council it's social housing that's what it is for those that don't know it's social housing so it's you kind of get cheaper rent than you would get privately and there's a degree of maintenance it's not always great but a degree of maintenance and you know you have to abide by a certain amount of rules and that but depending on where you live depends I guess that's all have an impact on your quality of life I guess who lives you know who's living around you and the neighbors

and level of noise and I suppose how far you are away from stuff because where I live there's nothing here there's literally it's not a bad little place but there's a petrol station and then half-hour walk to the local shops and that's only got a couple of shops really there a newsagents with a bit of food and stuff you can get not food food you know but there used to be a grocery store there that's gone hmm is a chemist pharmacy there's a post office in the newsagents and then there's a couple of takeaways and

that's kind of it really there's a sandwich shop as well I like that place so that's cool and they let me take Vinnie in there the man in there is very friendly and he's fine with me to take Vinnie in there because they wouldn't let me go into the newsagents with him because they've got food there yet the sandwich shop I know he's got glass covering all the food but still you'd think if anyone was going to be a bit fussy about a little doggy going into there into their place would be a place that

serves food but nope so that's and then it's about hmm to walk to the nearest shops from there would then be another hour maybe hour and a half walk you know this it's not doable really and then if I wanted to go all the way to town that's probably two to three hours walk so we do have buses they do exist and honestly they're big things with wheels and I was very I couldn't believe what I was seeing you mean we can all fit on that it's like a big car yes how old are you

so yeah we so there's a bus service but the the buses are once an hour once an hour and to town it does stop halfway through so you can go to the shopping center area and then into town it used to be every 20 minutes when I moved there eight years ago then it moves to every half an hour or I think it was every 15 minutes then 20 minutes then half an hour and now it's every hour and on Sunday it's every two hours and they don't always turn up so it's a little bit

Sunday's just a no there's just no point that's a no a no do day as it were a no doo doo day no day day for doo doo so it's all right I guess if you you'd see that pretty much everybody has a car you know I'd say 95% of the people live here have cars because you need a car to do anything around it because it's just too far away from everything now I've never driven never driven so you know from the ages of 16 I lived in private accommodations so I rented and I've

lived in over 40 places I think since I left school 40 different accommodations maybe 45 something like that I've added that up once it made me ears bleed it just took too much it's like there's that one then there's that one and as I got older I'm sort of forgetting different places that I lived just because it's just not important anymore it's you know there used to be times when I'd sit in bed and I'd count and I'd try and work out how many jobs I've had or how many how many girlfriends I've had or

how many times I've cut my toenails I don't know just you're like okay let's work out this or my favorite thing is I quite like to imagine that I've won the lottery and what I could do with the money and how how many people I could help and I know you might think oh you're just saying this because you want to sound like an angel well I am an angel no I just love the idea of being able to just go and help people I started to think that my ideal situation my ideal my ideal

life would be perhaps living somewhere like Thailand and every day giving away food to people who are hungry because they have students have kids that go to school you know some people just don't have anything you know medical care has to be paid for there's no pensions there's no child support there's no there's no unemployment really anyhow you know like there is in the Western world so and so the younger people kind of have to look after their parents in old age there's like there's no choice so it's yes it's a different kind of situation

so I'd quite like to maybe go somewhere that I like being and they're very friendly people they're the nice it's a nice place to go I've gotten very well with people over there and maybe just you know for a couple of hours a day give out free food I mean yeah I'd have to find a way to finance it to live there and to give away free food and by free food I mean like cooked dinners and stuff I did do it when I was there but I got I got a little bit taken for

granted to be honest which it was a little bit of a bitter pill but you know one of my greatest experiences of my life was standing at table with I don't know how many I think it was like 150 meals maybe there's 200 I don't know and just giving them out to people and the word spread so quickly and what was the word that spread I don't mean a word free food I don't mean a word just the word you know the word and that was that was one of the greatest experiences I've had did

the two days in a row was it three days two I think two days and it was brilliant but it's unaffordable it's not something even if I was yes it'd have to be done differently it'd have to be done much cheaper you know I'd have to maybe be helping with the cooking and have somewhere to do it you know private and rather than getting it done in a in a restaurant or takeaway whatever I mean it doesn't necessarily have to be Thailand but I quite liked it there in some ways and it could be done

here but there's there is help here there's some places where there's nothing but then there's places where I don't know it is a complicated one anyway but I like the idea given food it's one of those basic things you know it's a very basic human need we all need it we all need food and of course we need other things as well so I can't give everything to everyone because I don't have everything to give certain things I don't have the skills or don't have the ability or the knowledge and because there's some people think

well we give them food when you give them clothes well yeah they need clothes as well I'm giving them food they need clothes like I know but they also need food like come on someone else bring clothes so it's I think it roots back to the early 80s or the mid you know sort of 84 85 whatever year it was with the live aid and stuff I just yeah it touched me all that stuff it did and you I've gone hungry a few times over the years obviously I'm still here and I'm I've got a

belly so I definitely don't look like I've ever gone hungry but you know it's a lot of people have gone on hard times and good times bad times good times you know whatever and I kind of think back to times when I've been helped so part of reason why I like to help other people is because I know what it feels like to be helped I also feel know what it feels like not to be helped so I've been in both those situations numerous times over the years and to be helped is amazing sometimes I

didn't appreciate it if I'm honest I think back and maybe I did and I don't give myself enough credit for that maybe I did appreciate it but it's such a long time ago I just can't recall the feeling but you know yeah sort of knowing both sides like probably most people do I guess I realize how important to me giving is and not to give to receive just to give and I've got this thing that I try and do I don't always stick to it because I I don't like doing what I tell myself no

one tells me what to do not even me it's an old joke so I if I think about doing something nice for someone I try and stick to it regardless now you know I've got in trouble a few years times over doing something nice and have to explain like I know she's your girlfriend but I just I thought she'd like the flowers and the chocolates and the balloons with I love you on it there's nothing in it I thought she'd enjoy them the holiday together with me it's nothing in it I thought she I thought

the wedding proposal was nice you know there's nothing in it she's your girlfriend I've just just just want to do something nice I didn't thought of it I thought about it and I thought I better do it because I've got an agreement with myself no not not quite like that but I if I think oh I'm gonna get a sandwich for the petrol station and I'll buy a sandwich for my friend and and then sometimes I think I can't be bothered not not to get the sandwich for him but I can't bother to go to

the petrol station I just I just might do what's in the fridge and then I think oh yeah I had the idea of getting a sandwich for my friend and now I kind of feel a little bit guilty because I'm not doing what I thought about doing and it was a nice gesture and now I'm kind of not doing it and that don't seem right somehow and so I kind of rethink it and think oh okay maybe ah never mind or yeah let's go and do it it does depend to be fair it does depend

depends it depends it really depends upon what I choose to do so I quite like that idea of and I've had this route 25 years if I think about doing something nice all everything being okay I'll do it if I think about doing something not so nice then I'll try and you know not do it if that makes sense you know I'll kind of try and I think about it or something that might not be as nice as a nice thing yeah that makes sense to me I think it makes nice good sense so I

lived in a council flat in 1990 no 1989 1989 and I think I lived in a council flat a council house in 19 yeah 19 and that council house for a little while then I moved into a private house then I moved into a council flat for a while in East London and I moved out again so that's a couple of another council places I lived in and then yeah it was all private all private until now I think I might have lived in a sublet in London years ago not by accident it wasn't yeah

it wasn't accidental I didn't realize really because I moved in with a friend and he had a he had a flat a new flat and he wanted someone to live with him and I didn't really want to but I just like okay I kind of promised I would I didn't really I wanted my freedom so I thought it would be a good idea from that perspective I had a girlfriend who I wanted to spend more time with and she wasn't able to stay over at the place I was living in which is ridiculous considering I

was what 14 at the time so I was old enough or 42 one of them and she she was you know she seemed quite happy that I've moved out and had my own room and my and she could come around and visit and everything and stay over so that was cool and that was kind of the first not the first but one of the first times and it wasn't my own place but yeah actually it was the first relationship that I was in where my girlfriend stayed over I stay over hers but then she you

know she could start staying over at mine and yeah it was usually always me staying over at other people's houses and flats because I've always lived in for a long time in these little rooms that weren't really conducive to any kind of romantic atmosphere whatsoever they just smell of socks moldy socks not even mine just moldy socks generally I met a general moldy sock smell followed me around for 20 years maybe it was my socks thinking about it the odds are I was a common denominator the smell followed me around and it's not like moldy

socks what smells like moldy socks socks and I was the only one with socks on not in the world I knew what I was talking about I think I think right I just had a little interruption there Vinnie was embarking he was in the it's in the bedroom I put him in there for an hour so I could do this I interrupted and still he interrupted me still oh well so yeah um what was I talking about what was I talking about was I talking about anything interesting of course I was oh I forgot to

drink my tea it's getting cold it is cold I don't mind cold tea now I realize it's not the most interesting statement that anyone's ever made ever but I genuinely don't mind it it's all right I don't love it you know I'm not gonna write a poem about it I just but I I do don't mind it it's alright tastes okay I prefer hot tea not hot hot hot hot hot hot but hot ish you know enough where you just blow on it a little bit hmm right temperature okay I'm not I'm not gonna be

writing any love songs about hot tea but I do like it I've kind of converted a bit I used to I used to drink a lot of coke and even now I might have I have coke at the weekend couple of cans sometimes one can during a week you know sort of on a weekday and it just doesn't the less I drink coke the less I enjoy it when I do drink it which is weird I don't know why and I prefer a nice cup of tea just from every angle it feels better taste I

prefer the taste I prefer how I feel I don't you know it's it kind of calms me a little bit coke doesn't call me it's the opposite to that and yeah so I quite like a nice cup of tea although although do do do do do do do my favorite thing is which is a little bit sad because this is actually the favorite my favorite thing of all time at the moment is when I get out of bed and get out of bed I do a quick wee sometimes I need to do a big smelly

poo sometimes what I do I get out of bed and look forward to having my bowl of ready break and a cup of coffee nice cup of coffee coffee and I'll be honest with you I because I'm really am honest I like to lie most of the time but on this occasion I'm gonna be honest I look forward to it I actually look forward to it I look forward I'm going to bed and I look forward to waking up so I can have my bowl of ready brick nice and warm and I'm talking all year

round yes this isn't a winter thing I love ready brick I don't care what the temperature is outside and it's early in the morning so it's never warm outside anyway even in the height of the summer it's a little bit chilly ish in the morning you know four or five six o'clock in the morning that's kind of the time that I get up every day so yes I like it it gives me a sense of mmm you know just like mmm just feels nice yeah it does I like it I do but that's the only

cup of coffee I have in a day any more than one cup of coffee and it has the wrong effect on me but one cup I do have the coffee is quite strong so it's a proper tablespoon of coffee powder and some hot water it's not it's not filtered coffee ain't no coffee machine or nothing like that just boiling water and instant coffee but I do put enough milk in it so that it's not bitter so yeah it's nice I was I was saw someone the other day and he was giving me a lift somewhere

me and my friend and well his friend as well he stopped at McDonald's and he got a coffee seven sugars seven seven and they were all for the for the coffee and I guess he wasn't gonna use one sprinkler and pour it in his ear but you know it's like they were all seven seven sugars I was kind of surprised at that seven sugars I mean I have one sugar I don't even have generally half of teaspoon of sugar in my coffee and tea I don't even feel the whole thing of sugar you know so

like like pretty much it's not a whole sugar it's like half a sugar and that's enough you know I'm trying to cut down a little bit I used to have two sugars now I never have that much apart from when I have more than one sugar and I don't know sometimes I look in the mirror and I just I'm blown away at how how amazing my body is I'm amazed at how it still works that's what I'm amazed that because that is pretty amazing is there a body that looks like this and it's still blimmin

works kind of kind of works pretty much ish so yeah that was kind of today's recording about nothing and again I talked about nothing for an hour and they really tell you anything did I didn't say a single thing of any relevance to anything or anyone but the more I think about going to I don't know giving out food every day but not not working for or not volunteering for someone else but just providing the food myself from what I do online you know from the podcast so still so maybe I'll be living in Thailand

I have to have my own apartment and stuff rented of course and be living out there I have to find a way of taking Vinnie and stuff like that and then I don't know just find a way that I could finance you know a decent lifestyle but also to spend every day couple of hours a day giving out food for free it just you know it's it seems like almost a perfect lifestyle so I'm giving I'm helping people but I'm also living somewhere that perhaps I can enjoy being so when I'm not working there's things

I can do or I'm not you know making podcasts or not giving away food I can let's be fair I imagine I'd feel quite good about myself be quite a boost and then maybe get married and you know I just bored myself with that sentence this I just got bored of it as I was saying it not the marriage bit just generally what am I talking about I feel like a very loose very loose sweater that's almost falling off just weird again another weird thing to say like a loose sweater are you talking about you

in your weirdness and I've discovered one thing I've been trying to help someone and I know it's an old cliche but it's it's it's an old saying but it really is true you can try and help people but ultimately if they're not willing it's the old thing is you can lead a horse to water but when you get there you can't make it poo so that's I'm not really into cliches but I try not to be that has kind of come to realization is it's frustrating but and that's what I was talking about earlier I've

gotten I've got a horse and I've just just wouldn't poo in the water come on I've walked all the way to the swimming pool come on you know it's like it's amazing the kids were fascinated didn't realize what I was trying to get the horse to do like go on poo do you poo but he wouldn't and well short story long or long story short and police are dropping the charges they you know they realized it was you know it wasn't really meant as a as a to cause distress to anyone I just just wanted

to see if that analogy actually was true and you know that that you know that that expression if it worked and then someone pointed out it's drink it's drink the water leads it's not poo I said yeah but you can't drink out of a swimming pool it's got chlorine in it and they just walked away so I'm not sure if I won that argument or not I guess I did one nil to me I took Vinnie on the bus today I walked up to the pharmacy to get my friend's prescription and I got the bus

back look I just caught it I had Vinnie with me took him in there and he was shaking the whole time oh so I picked him up I wasn't shaking him he was it was it wasn't the vibration of the bus either he just was I don't know why it's a second time he doesn't like buses doesn't like it I don't know if he's thinking why is the ground moving along my feet aren't moving but I'm moving ahead he's giving me acid I don't understand it so maybe that was what it was but I picked

him up put him on my lap he didn't try and get down he clung to me pretty much and I gave him lots of kisses and I gave him treats and stuff to sort of distract him and then we got off at the first opportunity and it was fine but he didn't like it hmm no no no no no so I don't know if that's gonna stretch to cars and other forms of transport but he really didn't like did not like one bit the bus I thought it'd be quite soothing you know the vibrations and

stuff and also he loves people so much I thought he'd get distracted by the girl on the right-hand side or the man behind me or the lady at the front talking loudly on a mobile phone I thought he'd be distracted by that stuff but he wasn't he was just shaking and looking out a window and I was going on were you taking me were you taking me it's like I'm not saying you any more going home I don't recognize this place I haven't seen that building before yes because we haven't come this way before it's

like you're taking me to my new home no you live with me no no you stay with me forever really really yeah oh you sound disappointed a little bit I can't win does that mean I'll get more treats no why not you couldn't possibly gave any more treats I'm constantly giving you treats anyway that's pretty much what happened on the bus and I took him for a walk in the field this evening early early like six o'clock or whatever this evening and it's so good I let him off the lead and he runs ahead and

he comes back he runs behind me he comes back he runs in the field bit because I'm on the pathway kind of the on the outskirts of the field you know when I call him and I have a treat in my hand he comes right to me and takes a treat and then he runs off but something happened is I called him over because I don't know where he was because he'd run ahead and he went around the corner and I thought oh where is he because I can't see around corners and I called him

and he came running back and I thought I'll go give him a treat I couldn't get it I couldn't get out of my pocket because the treats were broken up and they were inside a plastic bag and for some reason this plastic bag was being very awkward I'm unnecessarily awkward I don't know why just was what's one of those things anyway I decided you know I'll just take the bag out half the treats fell on the floor so he was there he just gobbled them all up again that wasn't a very interesting story was it

when I was gonna tell it I thought now this after five years of making these recordings this is gonna be the best story I've ever told by far nearly a thousand recordings this has got to be the top story of all and then once I told it I like oh I got a little bit bored telling it it didn't really it didn't really have the feeling that it didn't leave me feeling satisfied like most of the stories that I tell that are just phenomenal as I'm sure you'd agree very interesting never mind I'm gonna go

ah thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy remember to be gentle with yourself do something nice something that you enjoy doing because you deserve to be happy and I will speak to you tomorrow I do have every intention of making a new recording tomorrow that's my intention I'm not sure what will happen things are weird at the moment but I'm gonna do my best to make a recording tomorrow so take care everyone lots of love bye bye Andrax what's the matter you hey got to know respect

what do you think you do why you look so sad it's not so bad