#984 National Enquirer- Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (11th March 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland and please only listen. I just realized and what are you doing hello my name ends with and I just realized 52 52 years and I've just realized the last three letters of my word and and and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I just realized whatever things on my website's jasonnewland.com you can listen to this podcast on what's the point telling you yeah it's ready point telling you where you can listen to it because you're listening to it and you won't hear where you can listen to it unless you're listening to it and in order to listen to it you must be listening to it on a place where you can listen to it I don't know well it is available this is available on all the main podcast providers you know Spotify Google podcasts Apple podcasts you know various different ones so I got a little

oh Vinnie has been a complete nuisance today it was really good really good to start with and I think he was barking a bit yeah he's barking a bit last night so I put him into the living room and went to bed on my own and when I got up I had some breakfast and I went back to bed I took him out for a little walk and he slept in my bed and he was fine after that then he went for a walk about I think we did this is the third walk we had

yeah I think we've done three walks so far today third walk we had I took him into the field and we went for a long walk in the field a little bit too muddy I nearly slipped over a few times but managed to get back safely without slipping and I was covered in mud all over my trousers and my shoes he was absolutely caked in mud as well all over his I didn't realize but the whole of his belly was covered in mud as well as his feet because the last two days not not today

but the previous two days we had like snowy sleet kind of stuff going on now when he only part only parts of the country it didn't have proper full-on snow for any amount of time oh dear he started again so I gave him one of those little bones but I'm not sure if that's gonna suffice so nope he's definitely hanging around me for some reason but yeah so I took him out for a walk let him off the lead so he could have a good old run around I chucked a stick a few sticks I

found for him to chase I say chase he didn't know he doesn't really do fetch he will but sometimes he'll pick a stick up and run back to me but he won't let me have it so he hasn't quite got the idea of dropping it off and letting me chuck it back again I think he figures once he's collected it he's not gonna go through all that again I've already run and collected it why would I want to do it twice what is the point are you gonna pay me so yeah basically everything was good

he got home a bit cold we were a bit dirty as soon as we got back excuse me he started playing up started being just started whining started barking started running around for no reason really being naughty well I don't know naughty but like he wanted something but I didn't know what it was he wanted and I couldn't figure it out I don't understand what he was doing why he was doing it and he kept doing it he kept running in between the living room and the bedroom and and he kept looking at me and

barking really as if he was demanding something tried to get him into the bathroom so that I could perhaps wash his feet to see whether or not he had something stuck in his feet he wouldn't let me near him to even look at his feet and then I thought oh I gave him a treat and what he had the treat but that's not what he wanted I thought well you can't want to go out we just literally got back you can't need to go to the toilet and then I thought well who am I to

say whether or he needs to go to the toilet I'm not in control of his bowels and bladder am I if he needs to go to the toilet he needs to go you wouldn't say that to a human would you well you've already been you're not going now should have gone when you had the chance that is something that adults perhaps would say to kids should have gone when you had the chance okay okay I went until you're an old age pensioner and I'm looking after you then I'll say the same thing when you need

the toilet I don't mind I can wait 45 years I'll get me own back but he I don't know I didn't know what was going on so in the end we actually we did have a standoff while I was saying in the bathroom he's going no like no in the bathroom now no and he kept going no no no but no no no refused so what I thought is okay maybe he does need to go to the toilet so I'll take him in the garden so I'll put him what he's putting his lead on he

lets me do that put my coat on and my hat maybe my hat anyway take him in the garden he didn't seem to really want to do anything in the garden he didn't go to the toilet he just wandered around for a bit it wasn't hot up here so it's not like he was overheated in fact if anything it was a bit cold the heating had turned off the window was open I was like okay something's going on I took him into my friends and he was doing this he was whining down there as well

and then his dog the other dog started shivering so it's weird some weird stuff going dynamics going on and I brought him upstairs on the lead which meant he couldn't get away from me so I took him to the bathroom closed the door took the lead off and I got the shower ready like took the shower down you know from the shower connection thing got you know a nice temperature so it's like warm water I picked him up and put him in the shower or in the bath he didn't want to be there the thing

is until I took him downstairs to my friend and I was holding him and trying to just comfort him I didn't realize that his belly was caked in mud so maybe he got some he might have got some mud stuck in his willy or something I mean you don't know do you because it was that area but he was uncomfortable with something I felt like something was making him feel uncomfortable and I as I hadn't farted recently it couldn't have been that normally just leaves the room sometimes he just goes out he takes the keys

so I'm taking the keys with me I'll be back later I'll get back when I get back okay I'm taking the car okay blindly me don't wait up okay I'll get I'll get the point I get the point let's go if you need to go drama queen well I think you'll find I'm a drama king actually drama king all right okay blindly so I wasn't sure I thought oh he's got he's covered in mud and last time he did a similar thing he did it seemed like he had something stuck in his foot and what

I did is I didn't wash his body I just washed his feet with the shower because he wasn't dirty anywhere else and I used a brush like a scrubbing brush and I brushed the bottom of his feet it's not hard hard bristles and I sort of brushed his top of his feet and the bottom of his feet and some bits of straw and stuff like came out so maybe that was in between his toes but this time nothing I didn't see anything come out and I gave him a proper wash this time I didn't like

wash him wash him just covered in water and brushed him down and made sure that all the dirt was off of him and he was filthy really it's the first time he's got filthy before which is weird I don't I mean I don't normally take him out when it's that dirty but I tell you why he got filthy because I let him off the lead when he's on the lead he doesn't get dirty because he walks the same path as me and I don't well I did get dirty I did get dirty I got dirt

all over my over my trousers but and my shoes but you know there's a limit he he was running in the ditches in the fields he got completely covered he was he basically was just walking dirt he looked like he was a zombie well not really a zombie but like well no he didn't look anything like a zombie it's not really a good example so but he was so you know he was in the bath like let me out let me out I don't want to be in here it wasn't a bath it was in

the bath but it wasn't a bath full of water it was just a shower and get me out I don't want to be here so I said like okay well I did the back of him I did his uh I basically covered in water and just made sure all the dirt was off of him and then I did his feet one by one and then he got out and I realized he didn't have a towel to put him in I did that I did but it's in the living room so I'm there with it in

the bathroom so I didn't want to put in my towel because that's my towel so I just grabbed him I don't know grab him but I held him in my jump in my cardigan I was wearing and then brought him into the living room and got the towel and started sort of rubbing him down and eventually he escaped from me and ran off and spent the next hour licking his feet and licking his paws and trying to rub against the carpet to get himself I guess dirty again just the thing dry but Andre did that

I didn't give Andre baths very often but when he did he would literally roll around in as much dirt as possible I basically feel some of my throat go weird just thinking about it just did not like being clean didn't like it I didn't realize I had no shampoo I've got no dog shampoo because I know you're not I don't think you're supposed to really wash dogs very often I don't know what the rules are on that one but I do take him out in the rain so it does get it does get wet especially

in this country it rains a fair bit yeah he's gonna get quite a few little showers in a month probably a nice probably I don't know five ten fifteen showers a month outside maybe just a little bit of rain here and there I'll try not to go out when it's pelting it down not for him but for me I just want to get soaked through though I have done a few times but since then since I gave him a shower my friend knocked later on said do you want to go need to go to the

pet shop and get some food I said yeah I'll go but I left Mini here because I had to carry I needed both hands to carry stuff because he had the dog to carry and he had to carry a bag and then I already I need to get some stuff myself and also to carry the food for the dog so I couldn't have I couldn't have Mini there as well so I left him here and when I got home he seemed quite pleased to see me I was only gone for about 20 minutes I mean

out of a 24-hour day that's not long is it 24 minutes out of a 24-hour day what percentage is that one percent I don't know hear this crinkling this you know I've got in my hands you know I'm rubbing I'm rubbing and holding on to the National Enquirer and it's March the 13th 2023 what was it March the 18th the writing is so small I can't even see 13th or 18th it's very small writing wow although today is the 11th I think so here we go we've got I thought I would have a little look

through the National Enquirer and I used to read this in the early 90s I'm not sure if I've even seen it since the early 90s I know it exists or clearly exists because it's on my table and I bought it in the petrol station and I put it down I got some milk got some cans of coke for you for you sort of if you listen to my podcasts I decided to have some coke at on a Saturday night just a Saturday night so I'll have like a can or two on a Saturday night and

that's it I don't drink coke the rest of the week I don't drink coke on a Saturday night eat chocolate I have no I've really cut down on everything since a few weeks ago so but I am I'm drinking coke tonight so it's my one thing I literally have this I'm on my second can it's full just broken into the second can and I'll be surprised if I even drink all of that I won't be surprised because I think I will I'll probably drink it by the time I finish this because I've got a thirst

I can feel a thirst coming on but I've still got three cans in the fridge because I bought a four pack four pack four pack of cans of uh coca-cola and I already had one in there from last week so you know the last time I had a can of coke was last weekend and the next time will be next weekend so it's just something I've uh decided to stick to and there's a lot of there's a lot of different things I could do to be honest a lot of things I could do probably more

things like eating salad and I could definitely do with more get myself more exercise other than walking because walking although it's it's useful and it is exercise it's exercise more for people either perhaps a little bit elderly or for people that maybe can't walk can't do much exercise to start with you know they want to lose weight if I was like huge and I wanted to lose weight walking would be a really good start because I couldn't start jogging because that would probably be really bad to do doing that although I don't I don't know

how I would fare with jogging now I haven't jogged for 10 years but and I think it's useful walking and it's definitely it's good for my back but if I want to and I haven't weighed myself for a few days so I'm not sure where I'm at I was 15 stone so I got down from 16 down to 15 and I'm kind of aiming for 14 at 14 I should be fairly slim I should be well I'm not only skinny but I should it should be it's like significantly slimmer I think I don't know it's

hard to tell maybe I need to go down to 13 I don't want to go too low I don't I don't think I can I don't think it's I don't think I could go as low as I did before how low can you go I don't think I could I got too much body too much body now I just got more body than I used to have I have honestly that's burnt then sorry there's more of me more to love more to cuddle so yeah we'll see I'm not uh sure not really sure uh but

I've got my punch bag so I've got the punch ball thing that I play with but I've not unpacked my punch bag yet because when I bought it a week later I fell down the stairs so I hadn't unpacked it yet or but I don't know maybe a couple of weeks so I was I was in the middle of like moving stuff around so I left it there and then I couldn't really do anything for you know six weeks exercise wise I mean that was loud wasn't it exercise so I'm kind of now already uh

I gave my weights away can you believe I can't but why why did I do that I couldn't lift them I could lift them I wasn't able to really use them at the time now I am I might have to buy some new weights I might try and get going with the old push-ups and sit-ups you know the old style the old style the way I used to do things anyway that's boring me now talking about it the National Enquirer I wonder if they have different versions for America and for EU for England because on

here it's got England and Ireland I guess is it or European I don't know so I don't know if it's the same version I mean it might but it is all like about American stars and stuff so I guess it must be just exactly the same because if not it doesn't look like they've changed it to what I mean by that is they've not focused they're not focusing on English or British actors or famous people like if they did a version for Germany not focusing on all the famous German people all the famous German singers

and famous German actors and stuff or I don't know anywhere else that might be you know in Europe perhaps Belgium they don't if they might have a different version for that one with all the famous people from Belgium might be a small a smaller version one page I'm joking joking blimey what have you got against Belgium I love Belgium um National Enquirer so Priscilla Presley banned from Graceland okay um so uh it's not she it's not her place is it didn't her daughter inherit Graceland didn't she as far as I'm aware I don't know who

gets it now now that her daughter or Elvis's daughter passed away didn't she a couple of months ago or last month so who who who I don't know who it goes to but she had kids didn't she she had kids Elvis's daughter didn't she marry Michael Jackson at some point and have some um human babies that I don't know I think so Brooklyn and Nicholas wedding disaster who's Brooklyn Brooklyn Beckham so Brooklyn Beckham is in the National Enquirer are the Beckhams famous in America that might sound like a really silly question but I didn't know

I know that you know they're they were really famous here for a long time yeah obviously posh spice for the Spice Girls and then David Beckham for being superstar footballer in this country and I know that he went to America to he started a football team over there or something but I haven't seen him do anything here he used to do adverts and stuff I mean like publicly like on television things like that I've no doubt he does lots of things but uh I think what's her name Victoria she was a fashion and she make

clothes and stuff like that problems from the start the rumors of tension between the bride so that's Nicola Peltz and the groom's mother the groom's mother who's the groom is that Brooklyn so the groom's mother would be posh spice wow you're not good enough for my little boy it's gotta be weird isn't it you think about it because I don't have kids um but I imagine if you did in some ways they're always going to be like little kids to you weren't they I mean some people's faces don't even change I've seen people who just

look exactly the same their face looks the same now as it did when they were like two not when they were born because babies have baby faces don't they like they're kind of same kind of face it doesn't really have any apart from the eyes baby's faces are pretty much they almost like don't have any they do have a shape I'm not saying baby's faces don't have a shape but they're more I don't know like little not little devils but little trolls or a little just you know they're just not not really human are they

at that point and then they get they are human I know but it's like they're just they're not formed the face doesn't form until what could six months maybe a year or whatever and then they've got a like a personality face haven't they like oh because you know if you had like a hundred babies all in prams identical prams and you're in a supermarket and everyone like park their pram in the same area and you were in a hurry there's a chance you take the wrong baby by mistake isn't there but in my mom's case

it would have been on purpose but I don't tell you I was actually walking once with my mama this is my my original mom and we're walking down the street and we were in this I don't know if it was a supermarket I don't even know that if supermarkets this is if supermarkets existed in those days because this is like early 70s and I was holding her hand and I guess every now and then I'd stop and say I want that I want that I want that you know whatever little kids do then I'm holding

her hand again I look up and it's not her I'm holding someone else's hand and she doesn't seem to mind she hasn't noticed this woman it's bad enough that my mom hadn't noticed but the woman who's who I didn't know whose hand I was holding hadn't noticed I mean was she originally holding the child's hand as well and just figured I was I was that child and I went to the supermarket I got I went to the like the till and waited because I was put into lost property and my mom collected me about a

week later so it was okay all worked out but it was weird because like how can this person that's like it freaky you know if you're looking up everything looks weird when you're that low anyway I mean that that that's short because it I was probably about what a foot tall at that age I don't know pretty short and suddenly now I'm looking up and it's it's a different face how have you not noticed and she looked down at me and I'm not sure I might have kicked her in the shin and just ran off

screaming that's possible I've got a vague memory of doing that but that might just mean something that I did recently I lose track of the time and it wouldn't be the only time I've ever done that um what was I going to say oh yeah so maybe maybe it's gonna be difficult being super famous isn't it you know like with the Beckhams two very famous people getting together and breeding is I mean David Beckham was he was already famous at that time and then Victoria became famous when was it was it 96 was it 96

or was it later than that tell me what you want when you really really want no tell me what you want what you really want I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna really really really move if you want to be my lover you gotta get with my friends okay so it's David I'll get with your friends it's fine I quite liked the Spice Girls was it 96 or was it 95 I think it was 96 I'm pretty sure I know they did that right out of the world spice up your

life spice up your life that one spice up your life I think um yeah so that was I think that was a very good rendition to be honest with you I think it was quite impressive it was almost like the song was being played the song was being played yeah I remember because I was like a DJ kind of person at the time so yeah I I I I I I think I probably like Ginger Spice the most as far as being a young man fancy and you know Scary Spice scared me because she was

supposed to scare everyone so she did scare I was very scared of her Posh Spice just seemed too posh Posh and Baby Spice a bit too young you know I don't want to date a baby and then Sporty Spice I don't know SS Sporty Spice Sporty Spice sounds like some kind of curry or something you know so that you eat when you're jogging I just I don't know I just although she was the best singer out of a lot of them Old Sporty Spice Sporty Sporty Spice I can't even say it was it Sporty Spice

it doesn't sound right Sporty Spice Sporty Spice Spicy Sport Sporty Spicy Sport Sport Spice and I don't know I like Ginger Spice because I'm not gonna tell you why but I did like her I don't know she's I thought I liked all of them I liked Scary Spice's hair because when she first started she had big old hair I like that and I liked Baby Spice because she's very pretty she's very very she looked quite innocent I'm not innocent but she looked nice I think she came across as being friendly someone that if you was

waiting at a bus stop and for some reason you really felt felt the need to share your life story with someone that she might pretend to be interesting for a few minutes till the bus got there maybe the word I'm looking for is courteous tolerant maybe I don't know but she seemed like quite a nice person Sporty Spice I don't know just like Scary Spice I think Sporty Spice seemed a bit too kung fu-y for me she was doing kicks and I thought no she might kick me I might I might fall in love with

her and then she starts kicking me and well if we get married and she kicks me what if I'm eating and she kicks me what if I'm on a toilet you know just it's when would a kicking stop I just because she kept kicking but I did I did like her songs especially when she went solo I liked her songs it's a very good very good singer and Ginger Spice I just liked her I did I just did I don't know I liked her personality the way she came across not just in the video but

you know in interviews I had a friend who used to whenever Spice Girls videos came on he'd turn the volume down and ask me to leave the room it's true I'm joking it's true so I just remember I used to watch Baywatch with him and he'd start talking and say can you keep keep your voice down I don't want don't want your voice connected to my memory of this show thank you very much we had a weird relationship so I yeah Spice Girls are cool I don't know why they've got a wedding disaster is this

something that'd be interesting to to people about Brooklyn Beckham I don't know who he is I know who he is but I've got no idea what does he do apart from haven't been born what what is does he have a job is he it's a three million bash what career apparently she's worried it might spoil her career but what does what does the woman the Nicola Peltz do it doesn't say we're supposed to know this am I supposed to know all this stuff just by reading know automatically that Nicola Peltz is a trampoline actor act

and Brooklyn Beckham is a juggler they work in a circus that's how they melt melt melt I don't know how am I supposed to know that I can't know everything anyway that's that page three Pink's weight loss journey Pink is the first to admit she put on some weight during the pandemic I've gained 36 pounds singer 43 confesses all I did was make sourdough and then eat the sourdough wow getting hip surgery and a double disc replacement in her neck blinding so she had a lot of other stuff going on it wasn't this just that

she was just eating and it's weird I'm looking at her and she put weight on or whatever yeah I mean but her face looks the same it doesn't she didn't really seem to put weight on on her face I seem to put weight on her face I've got less chins than I used to have there was a time when I had about four chins but I don't have so many these days I used to like Pink until like early 2000s that one I like that but I've heard quite a few songs she's done actually since

I liked but I've never I might have had one of her albums like really early on but I've never really followed her albums after that but I wish her luck anyway I mean blimey 43 years old I don't think well it shouldn't matter what people weigh anyway but if you get to 44 years old 43 years old I'm slurring today for some reason must be all that coca-cola if you get to 43 years old or 40 years old we can't what's it got to do with anyone else what's it got to do with anyone else

anyway but ain't she done her bit you know 20 years or however many years 25 years in show business she's done her bit ain't she what else do you want from her leave her alone leave her alone I think she's always going to be a very very wonderful person so leave her alone she reminds me of someone that I used to like facially I never realized that before yeah similar kind of chin no I didn't say chins stop myself she's nice yeah was this 43 blimey she looks good for 42 so the voice ushers in

ban on host returns the voice ushers in ban on host returns what is that what does that even mean that's not even a real sentence the game of musical chairs continues on the voice during its 23rd season 23rd season does that mean it's been going for 23 years that's ridiculous but former coaches CeeLo Green and Usher aren't allowed to play the national enquirer has learned aren't allowed to play it's not a game is it they're judges while the likes of Shakira Shakira Gwen Stefani Kelly Clarkson and Christina Aguilera have all left the show and returned

again our spy reveals scandaled scarred Green and Usher should look for other work it's a great high profile high paying gig said the insider but the producers have long memories and above all they consider the voice is a family show scandals like CeeLo's and Usher's are toxic I don't know what scandals they've been in to be honest originally coach Green 47 pleaded no context okay well I'm not gonna read this bit out oh okay oh you probably know this anyway but looking at what's been said about Usher wow um yeah okay fair enough so yeah

I don't see what that's got to do with the show but who is on there that I was surprised at seeing right isn't one of the judges and I'm going to check this out let me check this out okay okay you're ready you're ready okay I'm gonna go on and open the podcast the podcast me thingamajig um so let's have a look let's have a look yeah looky-wooky okay oh okay right so that's the voice isn't it is that the voice we were talking about oh the voice well clearly the UK and Australia don't have

the same problems because they had George Michael so George Michael was on the voice UK 2016 and he was on the in the voice Australia 2016 to 2020 and as far as controversial controversies he's definitely had his fair share there so I think they're a little bit I'm not saying George Michael shouldn't be on there because I think he's great but it's a little bit but then I guess the American version is different from the from the uh UK version and the Australian version what is this oh I don't know it's all about country singers

I don't know what that's about Gwen Stefani is said to be leave the ladies of country are trying to freeze her out is it is it me or is Gwen Stefani I look at her she looks way too young hasn't she been around for about 50 years and I'm pretty sure I remember she was around in the early 90s which is like 30 32 years ago and she looks about 25.

I don't understand it unless I'm thinking of the wrong person but Gwen's Gwen I bet if I put in Gwen the S would be the only Gwen that comes up Gwen yep no Gwendolyn Leigh Bird and then Gwen Stefani she's 53 years old she's older than me and I don't say that very often there's very few people older than me she's older than me so she was in No Doubt the band No Doubt and Just A Girl Spiderwebs don't speak that one from their 1995 breakthrough album so it is nearly 30 years ago nearly 30

years ago and she's still oh wow it's like some people just don't age today who's the other person that doesn't age oh there was some old there's a bloke called David Madeley is it David Madeley Richard made Richard Madeley Richard Madeley and he's a tv celebrity really he's been on tv for thousands of years and he was on in blimey I don't even know when he first he used to have a tv show called Richard and Judy but he did early morning tv shows in fact he's done so many so many um tv things that

I think from the looks of this wikipedia has actually they can't fit on his page all the different tv shows he's done they've not even attempted it because he's been around for so long and he looks phenomenal really and he's 66 years old and he just I mean it's ridiculous born in 1956 he presented the morning show the morning show uh past where does it say when did he do that the first morning show Richard Madeley Richard Madeley Richard Madeley where is it too fast oh I can't find oh the show was originally presented by

husband wife duo Richard Madeley and Judy Finnegan for more than a decade after its launch so it's launched in 1988 1988 and then they went on to do their own in the 90s I think or today in the 2000s they went on to do their own show called the Richard and Judy show and it's like a chat show thing and I used to watch it it's good and what is weird I tell you it's really sad there was this I won't mention it because it's just a bit sad there's certain like things that are really

like nice memories from like tv shows and stuff and then then later on the person that we just comes out to be a a bit of a yeah not not a good person so yeah wow right I'll get rid of that I was just I'm just interested that's all just interested don't judge me for it so Gwen Stefani there's something about her on here but I'm not getting to read the whole thing because I've pretty much used up maybe all my time Priscilla booted from Graceland blindsided Priscilla Presley has been locked out of Graceland by

her livid granddaughter Riley Kiru is the latest salvo of an ugly family feud over bizarre will by Elvis's only child Lisa Marie insiders tell the National Enquirer a lot of insiders isn't there what's a salvo Priscilla's ban from the money-making estate came from came after actress Riley who inherited okay so that's who the Lisa Marie Presley left why it wasn't Lisa Marie Presley was it Lisa Marie Jackson I don't know she left along with two kids sisters so she made a visit to Memphis to change the locks in on the upstairs doors and archives in

Graceland spills an insider how is it spilt how do you I didn't mean to tell him it just spilt out I accidentally spilt the truth or you carry it around in a cup previously Graceland archives director Angie Manchese Priscilla and Lisa Marie previously Graceland archives director Priscilla and Lisa Marie had the only keys so Priscilla is now locked out and she is furious absolutely furious now I'm feeling quite angry myself about the whole thing it's no need is there there's no need previously Graceland archives director the incident follows a declaration of war by Elvis's 77

year old ex-wife 77 wow how can she be 77 is it me or did Lisa Marie Presley or Lisa Marie does she always remind me a bit of Drew Barrymore like her face she's kind of similar I don't know why I'm just like when she was little you know when she was a kid growing up oh here's a this is an adult thing here Sybil sex trick made Elvis King rock king Elvis Presley became a prince in the sack after he learned how to wow girl gals with a sizzling sex trick says his teacher actress

Sybil Shepard now 73 blonde was 22 and a beauty queen who just skyrocketed to fame in the flick the last picture show when she met the 37 year old rocker who howled from her Memphis hometown that's one heck of a long sentence Elvis asked to meet her and they soon hopped between the sheets she writes in her memoir Sybil disobedience I went to Graceland and had some deep fried banana sandwiches and then sorry and the next night I went back yeah after spending all day on the toilet pooing probably that's not good for your stomach

isn't it deep fried banana sandwiches what what do you want you need to go out for a walk okay we'll go out for a walk let me just finish this and we'll go out sorry everybody Vinnie little Vincent wants me to take him out for a walk and she described Elvis as a hunk who looked and smelled great was brilliant funny and warm-hearted but he lacked oral skills so I had to teach him how to do it there are worse things to teach a man there are worse things to teach a man to do right

okay should we just face facts Elvis Presley didn't even have to touch someone to make them orgasm he just had to just wiggle his hips he didn't have to use his tongue other than to thing with the idea that he couldn't get oh come on I mean even I get I get turned on just thinking about him and I'm heterosexual most of the time Elvis the kid he's the sexiest there was I mean George Clooney super sexy too um but you know oh come on give me a break mate I'm talking about Elvis I'm getting

turned on I'm not I'm not I'm not what are you doing daddy you're talking about Elvis again are you I can see I can see it through your pants no you can't stop it it's just very rude oh it's like a little chipolata stop it how come I've got a bigger one than you daddy and I'm just a little dog can you shush anyway I'm gonna go I've got to take him for a walk actually you can probably hear him in the background you want to go for a walk okay take care of yourselves I'll

speak to you tomorrow and I'll continue reading the enquirer then lots of love bye what do you want what