#990 New Podcast website - Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (28th March 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. Yeah, everything's all disarrayed on my desk. Disarrayed, is that a word? My name is Jason Newland.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So, um, what's happening? What's happening? I haven't made a recording for a few days. There's a reason for that.

The reason is because I didn't want to. No, the reason is because I've been working on my website. My, it's a new website, but it's still my website, jasonnewland.com. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Okay, now I've either said it once or twice.

Now what I've done is I now have, you might want to check it out just for a laugh. My website is now a podcast, an actual podcast. So, you can listen to my podcast episodes via my website on the first page.

Literally, the latest recordings are there. I'm on the first page now, jasonnewland.com. What you got is at the top. There is a banner like a basic banner, you know, I will be changing that actually.

But at the top, it's just got my name and it's got pictures of 12345 different podcasts. And there's a little notice only watch listen when you can safely close your eyes. And then there's the deep relaxation Kevin Macleod in incompetech.com, licensed under creative commons by attribution with the website.

So that's for the background music. Then underneath that, there's 123456789 different podcasts that you can go to. Or they don't need to go to them individually.

If you want to just go to the latest recordings, underneath those is the latest recordings. So hypnotic carpet, Deep Sleep Whisper was the latest recording I did. And that was the 22nd of March.

And I also did and that was number 492. Deep Sleep Whisper. Also, the woman's own magazine 989.

Let me put you to sleep. So yeah, so that they're there on there. And then you can load more and go down you can load more and keep going down load more.

It works on not just I'm looking at it on the iPad. But it's the same. If you can do on a laptop, or you can use it on a phone.

It's all the same. Now, I want volume, I've got this on. Okay.

Turn up just a little bit so it doesn't make a lot of noise. So basically, there's just little players for each one. So it's just like going on to a podcast.

It is a podcast. It is actually a podcast. And just press the play button.

So if you want to listen to I don't know 492 hypnotic carpet. Press the play button. Wait a couple of seconds.

Wait a couple of more seconds. I've got my internet slow. Those volumes very low.

Okay, right. So you see what I mean? So it's, it's, it takes a couple of seconds on my internet because the internet for some reason is going very slow at the moment. But still, it didn't take long.

It's quicker on a phone for some reason. But you can have lots of different ones. I imagine the more you've got on the page, the longer it takes, maybe.

I don't know. Not sure. Now there is a search box at the top.

I'll talk about that in a minute. I'll talk about it now. So in the menu, of course, if you're on the if you're on a mobile, then the menu will be a box when you click that and the menu will come down.

If you're on the iPad, or on a laptop, the menus at the top of the page, there's home episodes about blog reviews, contact right review, YouTube, subscribe, gift me and then there's a search. You click on search and if you put in if there's an episode you want to watch, or if you want to put in Okay, maybe not. I'm trying to think so let me boy to sleep.

Number 800 says you want number 743. See if it comes up. Oh, nothing.

372. Okay, number 372. Deep sleep whisper comes up.

Wonder why it's not coming up for the let me boy to sleep ones. Because there's loads of those. Yeah.

372. Let me bore you. 372.

Let me boy to sleep. Okay, the search ain't so great then. Brilliant, it's not.

I've answered the problem. I've got too many. But the solution to that is basically if you go to underneath, so if you go to the homepage, I'll wait a minute.

372. Episodes one. Okay, go to the homepage.

So you can click on let me boy to sleep. So there's all these different ones. And it's basically got all the all the episodes that you could want.

So if you want to look backwards to older podcast episodes, you just got to keep clicking the load more. Now one planning to do is have a section where I've, you can search things a little bit easier, but manually search for it. So if you wanted to search for let me boy to sleep March 2019 or something, then I could, I might have a like a playlist for that.

But that that's just going to be something that I'll do in the future. I'm not going to do that just yet. Because I spent so much time on this, putting this together and working on some other stuff that I'm kind of I need to also make recordings as well.

So I've clicked it a few times, I'm down to the 30th of January. So it's Yeah. And that's about 100 and 100 recordings in that time.

So it's just a case of just looking for them. That's all. And playing around.

I've not really not really played around with it enough. And I wonder if I put it if I'm very specific. Where's the hash bar? I can never find the hash bar on a lap on a keyboard.

hash. Where's the hash? Where is it though? It's nowhere to be seen. It's not there.

It's not there. Damn you. Where's the hash button? There's no hash button.

Oh, there is. Oh, control. Okay, maybe that's it.

Is it control? Oh, it's disappeared now. It's on the three. But what is it? Nope.

I don't understand option three. Oh, there is option. So option three hash 232.

Let's see if anything comes up for their 200. No, blimey, come on. Right, I'm just determined now.

So option hash 232. Search. It's a deep sleep whispers coming up.

But the let me boy to sleep ones on. I don't understand why that is. Why is that? So option is I guess it's just not.

It's not perfect. 101. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

101. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not working.

So that's not a good way to find stuff. So what I might do. Oh, silly chair.

Get a decent chair. That's what I might do. I had a cheap arm.

I had to scratch it. I'm basically I'm a chimp. Chimpanzee.

And he said a chimp monkey and then chimpanzee. If there's an itch, I got to scratch it. Podcasts, episodes free.

Alright, so out of that search, I'd 3100 podcasts, six podcasts. Anyway, but you've got the podcast themselves. So if you say for example, you want to listen to the latest stop smoking relaxation hypnosis podcast episode, it's not going to be I haven't done one of those for a while.

So instead of loading more loading more going down, going down, you can just click on the stop smoking podcast. And instantly, you've got the latest recordings on there. We've got all the recordings, but the latest first.

So on the first page is 12345678910. So there's 10 episodes per page. And if you if you load more, they'll give you another 10 I guess that's 123456789 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20.

Yeah. So it loads 10 at a time. So it's basically the podcasts I've got different podcasts is to let me boy to sleep.

And then there's a deep sleep whisper hypnosis. Relax and sleep hypnosis daily. Sleepy boring objects.

Jason's bedtime storytime. Jason chronic pain hypnosis. Stop smoking relaxation hypnosis.

relaxation for stress and panic attacks. And lastly, stress and pain relief. So I've got none of the podcasts on there that are a mixture of all those different ones.

But my podcast is a mixture because the overall podcast takes from all of those podcasts. All the episodes takes from all those. So whatever I do, so let's say if I did a new chronic pain relief session, they would be at the top of the list on the actual podcast on my website.

Does that make sense? made sense when I said it, to me, it made sense. And if you want to just move from the homepage, you just want to, we don't want to see the rest of that stuff. Let's just see the episodes, you click on episodes.

And that's what you've got. It's basically just the episodes. And the about page is just okay.

It's just a little bit of blurb about me. Funny picture. My name is Jason Newland.

I have been making hypnosis podcast and YouTube videos since 2006. Full stop. Over the last five years, I have concentrated more on the podcast side of things.

Full stop. I have spent more time focusing on providing relaxing, sleepy and boring recordings. Full stop.

For some reason, this next bit is in bold. I don't know why. On this website, there are all my main pod... should be all of my main podcasts.

Each episode is automatically updated, which is true. So all of my new recordings will be available here. And then you can click on all episodes.

And which will take you to the episode page, I guess. And then there's a gift me thing. So that takes you to the episode page.

Yeah, we'll do. And then there's the blog. Now I thought I might start writing a bit of a blog.

I did one. I did one on the 26. So it's what two days ago.

And that was when I first started working, like getting the website together. I might start doing more of that might just write in a little bit about how I am what I'm up to. Just for those who want to read it.

Now there's reviews. I'm pretty sure they'll you'll you'll have the good and the bad on here, but you won't have anything from the previous website, which is a bit annoying. Still not sure how to do that.

How to I've got a right review, like right w r i t e. But I don't know how to. Yeah, it's click right review for let me boy to sleep. Ah, okay.

But then it's also right review for deep sleep or review for whatever. So each individual podcast now don't know how it works. Does it automatically go on to the to the thing? Should we find out? So my name is Bobby Booby.

And title. Master. So I'll be rude.

So so say Bobby Bates. And titles master. My view.

Wonderful. But I think he farts too much. Now.

And I want to put Vinnie. Jason's dog. Just in in in brackets, just see if it comes up.

Jason, let's do this chair. I'm sorry about that. I'm not a robot.

So click on that. Oh, now motorcycle. I don't like all this.

You know, when they put pictures up, select all the images with motorcycles. Why? Do I get a reward for this? Is there? I'm not gonna even see the pictures. I don't seem to have worked.

recapture sent. Your review was submitted successfully. Okay.

So if I look at reviews now, wow, instantly, instantly is on there. So the reviews do work. So if you want to leave a review, what I might do is go back to the reviews from the other websites.

I still got that. But that was Shopify. I still got it.

I shut it down. But it's still I can reactivate it. And, and then what I do is pull off, get the reviews from there, because there was quite a few on there.

But what this has done is is I got you got you got you got you. So this ad, this review says, it's from my website. All the other reviews are from either Apple podcast.

Apple podcast, Apple podcast, Apple podcast, blindly someone's wrote millions of things. Apple priming a lot of Apple podcast reviews. I've not got reviews from anywhere else.

Just Apple podcast. That's not good, is it? It's not good at all. That's, that's a shame.

Right. So the only reviews I've got on here are from Apple podcast. I wonder why I've not got reviews from anywhere else.

Hmm. Oh, well. So my one says, my title master.

Oh, I should have put never mind. Wonderful, but I think he farts too much. Vinnie, Jason's dog.

Okay. So if you see that, you know what it is. It's just me being silly.

So you can write a review. And whatever you write, unfortunately, will be on there. And I don't think I have any control over it.

So please don't write anything too bad, please. Please, please. Or Oh, yes.

Or choose your favorite app. So you can do on here, or choose your favorite app like Apple podcast, pod chaser, or cast box. They're the only choices.

But there might be I just haven't, I don't know how to use everything yet. I mean, I still don't know how to really do the sentence on a washing machine. I've had that eight years.

So it might take some while before I really know what's going on. So I can actually look at the reviews, and it's there. And so that's good.

Cool. Chronic pain hypnosis. Yeah, blimey.

This is a new one. So glad I found this podcast. I suffer from chronic pain, I really felt hopeless, found this podcast and figured it would help me sleep.

But it's done so much more for me. I can really I can get relief from listening. And I use it several times a day.

Sometimes, if I have anxiety, I listen to it's taught me a new way to think. Thank you for doing this, Jason, you made a difference in my life. And that's from it says here comment.

Come at me jewels. So it's Yeah, cool. Thank you for that.

I didn't see that before. So this is recent. This is the ninth of March.

So it's was a 1020 days, 19 days ago. So if you wanna, then you know, please leave a message, leave a leave a review. Or if you wanted to contact me, you can on the contact page.

There's a basic contact form, your name, your email, your address, your message, and that's private. Okay, that's a private message that will just be to me doesn't give you an option to send any pictures. I'll try and figure that out.

And then in the middle, record a voice message. So you can see you can record a voice message, you just press it. So sure, try that out.

Start recording. Would like to access the microphone. Okay.

You know, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So stop. So shall play it back see whether or not it's any good.

Yeah, it's probably maybe I won't bother with that sending it. Then at the bottom of the page, maybe I should put this at the top of the page. Get your message read out.

So and underneath I said here, I say, I can read your message out on my let me bore you to sleep podcast. Just fill in the form below. There's your name, your email address, of course, I will not read out your email address.

And then the message. So wherever you put in a message, I'll read out. So it can be it could just be say happy birthday to my parrot or whatever, you know, whatever it is.

So that's it. I thought I'd just do that. I'm not sure about the voicemail message.

I might get rid of that because it doesn't. It doesn't sound very good, really, if I'm honest. I mean, that was on full volume as well.

It might sound better on a phone because the microphones are probably better on phones than they are on iPads, maybe. And then you've got the YouTube channels, you can click on YouTube. And you can see my YouTube videos, the latest ones.

According to this. So now I've got 916 subscribers, 263 videos. So I'm releasing a new video every day.

A lot of them are like older videos, but it takes quite a while to make stuff. So the close to the bit, I got a message from Kat Jones saying awesome. My go to when I really need some sleep.

Thank you, Kat. Wisteria underscore HD commented this really helped me sleep. Thank you.

Thank you. Benny replied Jason Newland. Thank you.

And also Benny commented Hi, Jason. This is a different night. Same video.

This was great. Thank you. Do you think you'd do another detailed progressive relaxation video? Thank you.

And I did reply to that. There's a lot of a lot of my recordings over the years have been progressive, progressive body relaxation. I just don't always name them that if you know what I mean.

I got one from your favorite uncle Hubert. I'm now on read that now. Okay, I'll read it.

That visualization was so so gripping. I constantly wanted for the moment when you would jump up into the camera nakedly. Yes, unlikely to happen, isn't it? Say hi back commented great video slept like a baby.

So thank you. Benny is for different videos says this a month ago, your videos or an almost perfect guarantee for sleep. Thank you.

Well, thank you everyone for the messages on YouTube. What was that doing? Okay, you just said it. So yeah, it's that is my YouTube channel.

So that's I'll come back at it. And that's it, then is the subscribe. So when you subscribe, though, it's basically you choose the podcast that you want to subscribe to.

And you there's a choice of different places you can subscribe. Apple stitch cast box. Yes, cast box.

And Castro FM. It's really going slow. Really? Oh, that's an app.

So you have to open in cast Castro, Castro and the Apple show in Apple Store. Okay, so I'll do that. I won't do that one.

podcast.google. So Google podcasts, content not available, restricted some content for people who aren't over 18. Really? I wants me to sign in. Why don't fit my contact contents over 18.

Generally. So cast box again wants me to open that. This is overcast.fm. Right? Again, it's an app.

So this this all kind of works pretty bad. We're not bad on a phone if you've already got those apps. So this is if you want to subscribe.

If you're listening on your normal place that you listen. So another one is good pods. Never heard that one before.

So according to this, according to this top 10. The top 10 let me boy to sleep episodes, best ranked by good pods users most listened. It's not saying how many I've had listen.

According to this, the whole podcast I've had one listener. But then it's this list in number 518 and 517 1615 five. I have no idea what's going on all episodes.

And it does have Yeah. Oh, okay. Unless if I go to it says how many episodes I've had? Nope.

How many downloads? Nope. So again, I'm not really sure about that. I don't.

I'm grateful. I'm on there. But I don't know quite how.

So podcast.st or PCA dot st, opening pocket casts. So again, that's the thing. The other one is podcast addict.com. I think that's an app as well.

Is it an app? Is an app? Is it in that? Nope. So it might be but you can also view it online on a laptop or whatever. But there's no thumbnails.

It's just the very basic link. And so when you click on the link, oh, there is the thumbnail is there. So the picture is on there.

It doesn't say how many people have listened. But you can just press play and it's done. That's good.

And I've not really I've not checked all these things out before really. Okay. And what's the next one? And I've done that.

The last one of this is the RSS feed. This is linked to an RSS feed. So that's not really valid where I'm where I'm here.

And the last one is podchaser.com. Okay, so that's coming up. It doesn't say really much. Episodes on Let Me Board You Sleep 3100.

Wow. That's with the different different number of you know, the different length ones. Okay, so it gives you an option, those options in each podcast I've got to subscribe.

If you wanted to. I was hoping there'd be a way of subscribing to the website. There may well be I just, you know, I don't know what it is yet.

Which which is fine. So what I'm probably going to do is get rid of the recorder voice message before Sebastian gets hold of this thing. Otherwise, I imagine I'll be bombarded with weird, weird messages, which is fine.

It's okay. It's just emails are getting through in an email. So there are sort of the main page.

Although it's got recent episodes also at the bottom, which doesn't really need to be there. So I might get rid of that. It's at the bottom, which is the foot page or whatever.

Recent episodes pages and then follow our podcast, which is the subscribe thing. So don't necessarily need that there. I might get rid of some of them.

Pages is useful, perhaps. I don't know, maybe. But then there is a thing which lets you go back to the top of the page little arrow.

So if you however far you go down, you just click in and go to the top of the page again. So this is my new website. This is still jasonnewland.com. But it's now a podcast.

And if I choose I could have well, you know, I can have videos and I can have a video player on here as well. But really not that involved in making videos as in, you know, on camera myself, so much these days. I did think about doing it and I kind of was going to do it.

And then I didn't. So there you go. I was going to, but I never.

I was going to, but I never. But I was going to, you know, but I don't know. The problem with doing a, you know, with a camera is I have to make myself look presentable.

And as I'm getting older, it's harder. I haven't been really presentable since about 1998. So, yeah.

And people can be so personal on YouTube. Like at the moment, all I can really do, there's a few videos of me on there, but all of the most recent videos have been graphics and, you know, countryside and waterfalls, you know, with my voice over the top or in the background or however you want it to be. So, you know, the most that people can really say if they're going to be rude is perhaps I didn't like the video or they didn't like my voice.

My voice, I didn't like my voice. It wasn't relaxing enough. Or that's about it really.

It wasn't any good or they didn't, if they were going to be negative, you know, they can't focus on what I look like. They cannot, because I had that in the past. And even when I was super hot and sexy when I first started doing this stuff, you know, I was only 35 years old when I started doing this.

I'm now 206. So, it's weird really thinking about it. It's a long time, isn't it? So, yeah.

So, I just thought I'd let you know, you know, that's what I've been doing. I do a few other things as well, but it's all part of the process. All part of this, what I'm doing online.

Some of it I won't mention because I don't need to mention it. It's just, it's just more of the same really. It's the backdoor work, the back end, the admin, the administration side of things.

But I had a few ideas and I'm playing around with those ideas to see how they go. I've been working on some stuff on YouTube as well. Although, probably since maybe even a week, at least five days, I've not made any new videos.

Now, I have enough videos until the 19th of May, I think, on YouTube already uploaded and so I don't really need to be too concerned with that. But I was on a roll, you know, it was getting to the point where it was very easy because I was doing the same thing over and over again. It's becoming quite easy to do and I need to get back to that because I got so many recordings.

I've probably got enough to get me through to summer before I could, before I even need to start up making videos of the newer stuff from the last couple of months. So yeah, that's it really. I'm quite pleased.

I've had a few moments in the years, over the years, where I've been quite pleased with a website and there's been times when I've worked literally hundreds and hundreds of hours on the website to change it, to make it different, to make it new and changing each individual page and really put everything into it. And was pleased but then changed it again, maybe six months later. Now because of the, this is what I've wanted for a long time but I could never find any way of doing it.

But with the technology now everything's, you know, getting better and podcasting has become very popular in the last few years. So I managed to, after lots and lots and lots of research and reading reviews, watching video reviews on every single thing that I could get connected to what I wanted, I decided to give this one a go. And this, this setup is, there's some things I need to change and I'm going to change that because some of this unnecessary stuff, so I'm going to get rid of some of these bits.

But ultimately it's up and running and it works. And the latest recordings, basically as soon as you're listening to this, when you go to, if you go click on jasonnewland.com, the podcast will be up and running. Now if, depends on when you do it, because you know there's, there's a lag of time between when I release individual podcast episodes.

So don't just dump them all at the same time. Dump them? I don't dump and run unless it's really cold outside. So I basically, there's usually two hours between each episode.

So if I release an episode at nine, the next one would be 11. So the one without music would be at nine. The one with music would be 11.

The one, the five hour one will be at one. And then the one 10 hour one would be at three in the morning. So that's, that's kind of how I do that.

And if I do a deep sleep whisper hypnosis as well, then what I'll do is I'll release, I'll release the one without music at 10, the one with music at midnight, the five hour version at two, and the 10 hour version at four. So that's, that's kind of how I do that. There may be a better way of doing it, but that's the way I've been doing it for a while.

And especially when I'm on a run and I'm not literally on the run or have the runs, I'm just saying when I've had a few days where I'm being, I don't want to use the word productive because I think that I have been very productive this week. It's just been behind the scenes productive. It's been sitting at my desk, working out stuff and figuring out different ways of doing things and also, you know, learning some new things.

And it's very vague, isn't it? All this, but you know, putting this website together. So, you know, it's quite a lot of time has gone into this and well, 17 years, but you know, I mean, this, I want to change the banner at the front, at the top, the front, at the top, in the middle, or change the banner and make it wider. Unless it doesn't allow it to be wider, I don't know, but I'll do that.

And I mean, at the moment, it's fine. But I think it might be better if it's, you know, wider and thinner. Just so it just makes the page a little bit smaller.

But I suppose the problem with that is when it's on the phone, it might be really hard to read. Yeah. Hmm.

A couple of things I was thinking of doing. And I kind of started the process and then I'm bored with myself. And I started to think, oh, I don't know.

And that was to have a paid podcast that has no adverts. And, you know, you just pay a monthly fee. And you get to listen to all my stuff without any adverts.

But it's not right at the moment. Maybe in the future. I don't know.

But just didn't. I'm not even sure why. I'm not sure.

But I wanted to focus on this. Doing this podcast and just having everything up how I want it to be. And, you know, some tweaking still to do.

But generally, I'm quite pleased with how it's going. Generally. Roughly.

Kind of. Yeah, kind of. I am.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going okay. It's going okay. Yeah, it is kind of.

There's always room for improvement, of course, always. And one, two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Yeah, maybe I need to cut down the amount of podcasts, but maybe not.

But something I'm thinking of doing is to make some podcasts. Not share them anywhere, just have them on Spreaker. And yeah, and just have just have the the recordings for the month, like I said earlier.

But this could take ages. It's not only would take ages to upload, but it would take ages and it'd be hundreds of these podcasts. Because I was thinking of doing a different podcast for the amount of, you know, for the different versions.

So have, for example. Okay, let's say last month, February 2023. So the Let Me Boy To Sleep, four podcasts for February, one without music, one with music, five hours, 10 hours.

And then Deep Sleep. So that's four different podcasts just for the month. And then the same for Deep Sleep Whisper, Relax and Sleep, Hypnosis Daily, Sleepy Boring Objects, Jason's Bedtime Storytime, although I've not made one of those for a while.

And then Chronic Pain, Hypnosis, Stop Smoking, Relaxation, Hypnosis, Relaxation, Relax, Relaxation, Stress and Panic Attacks, Stress and Pain Relief. So of course, I wouldn't need, you know, some of them wouldn't take up a lot of room, but the busy ones. So that's 123456789.

So that's what 10 is 40. So it's 36 different podcasts for each month. Now we're looking at what four or five years.

That's just just it's just now it's too much in it. So maybe do it by year. So do the Let Me Boyd Asleep.

Yeah, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018. So 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. So it's six years.

No, it's not six years, is it? 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. Yeah, five years. 18, 19, 20, 21, 20, 18, 19, 20.

Yes, it's five years, but it'll be six years because I'll also include 2023. So it'd be six, six different podcasts for each podcast. So six for the Let Me Boyd Asleep, six for the Deep Sleep Whisperer.

So that's blimey, it's still 54, 54 podcasts. To be fair, though, I wouldn't need to do it for the Chronic Pain. I wouldn't need to do it for the Stop Smoking.

I wouldn't need to do it for the Bedtime Storytime or the Sleepy Boring Objects. I could just to make it easier to navigate, but there's not a huge amount of podcasts on them. Now the Let Me Boyd Asleep, Deep Sleep Whisperer and Relax Asleep Hypnosis daily.

Hmm, you know, there's quite a few there. The Stress and Pain Relief Hypnosis, there's 46 times by four. Relax Asleep Hypnosis daily, there's 198 times that by four.

So there's quite a few, I guess. Deep Sleep Whisperer, 492 different episodes. And then there's a Let Me Boyd Asleep, which is, this is number 990.

990. Wow. So yeah, that's quite a lot.

So even if I do it, just everything per year, there's still going to be a heck of a lot. And there's going to be a lot of recordings, a lot of podcasts, episodes on each each one. So even though there's four, 36.

36? No, five years, six years. 54. So 50.

Okay, well, let's not do the other one. So there's one, two, three. Just three podcasts times by four.

So that's three times by four. So that's four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 13. No, wait a minute.

Four, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, eight, 11, 14. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. No, that's not right, is it? So it's three times by six.

It's not three times by four. It's three times by six. So three times by six, six threes.

So six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Okay, 18. So 18 different podcasts.

I couldn't keep that up. Sorry. Even I can't.

I'm not a mathematician. But is there's a limit to my silliness. So 18 podcasts.

But for those three different podcasts. I might be able to make it unlisted so that no one knows it's there apart from me. So I just put the episodes rather.

I'll figure a way I'll figure it out. I will figure it out. But right now I'm not going to be necessarily worrying or even thinking about doing that right now.

Because there's other things to be focusing on. One of which is what am I gonna eat? Because it's food time. It really is.

Or did I tell you? I've been given on Andre has a slip in it. We give him Vinnie treats every time he crosses the road. I get him to cross slow.

First of all, get him to wait. And if you don't know who Vinnie is, he's my gerbil. I get him to wait and then I cross over slowly.

He doesn't always listen. Sometimes he does. And then he stops and I get to wait and I give him a treat.

So he gets a little try and break them up small as possible. And he started catching them as well. So it's fun for him.

I don't know how much fun catching treats in your mouth is, but he seems to be happy with it. Well, he's cottoned on to it and he started to scam up. He started to scam.

So he gets about four or five walks a day. If it's really early in the morning, like today, he didn't even leave the house. Hardly.

He went into the front garden and he did a wee wee there and that was it. It's too cold, too early. And he wouldn't want to go back upstairs and he went back to bed.

Cool. It's fine. The next walk of the day, it depends on what time it is, but I let him kind of do what he wants and I'll follow him around.

And if he wants to go a different direction, he just sits down and he stops walking and he lifts one of his paws up. And that's basically for me to stop. So I walk back, I said, OK, and he leads me somewhere else.

Which I let him do a couple of the walks. I don't let him do that with every walk, because sometimes I just want to go into the park and not be walking randomly around for no reason, especially if I need him to go to the toilet. But I let him have his own way.

Probably 50 percent to be probably 70 percent of the time, probably 80 percent of the time, to be honest. Every time, every single time. Well, I noticed that we're crossing way more roads than we ever used to.

He's now taking me all around. It's like every every minute we're at another curb waiting to cross the road. So he gets more treats.

He's purposely leading me to places where we have to keep crossing the road so he gets another treat. He tricked me. Tricked.

I feel tricked. I can't think of anything else he's been up to. He's good.

He's been good. He spent some time with his best friend today. So the other dog came up and they were playing and at one point they were both asleep on the set.

He cuddled up together. He loves him so much. They love each other, but Vinnie really just adores him.

He's his best friend in the world, the whole world. I'm supposed to be his best friend, but he absolutely loves him. Just being with him is, I don't know what it is, like last week, I think it was last week, my friend had been somewhere and his dog jumped out the back of the car.

The car stopped and ran off. They were outside the front of the house and he ran off. This is my Vinnie's friend.

He ran off. We didn't know where he was. Now, often he'd go into the field.

If he does that, he runs off into the field and he comes back a couple of hours later. And I thought, okay. I said, well, I'll get Vinnie.

I'll see if he can find him. Because this was during the day. At night time, it's not so bad.

There's no one around. If it's the middle of the night, he'll do that. It's occasional.

He doesn't let him do it. He just escapes sometimes and runs and bashes through the front door because people leave the door open sometimes. So it's not a regular thing.

But Vinnie, I got him and he led me to him. He knew where he was. He sniffed him or whatever.

And he was all the way around the other side of the building, in the back way. He'd gone all the way around the building. Now, he couldn't see him.

Couldn't hear him. But Vinnie knew where he was. He just led me to him.

Even the other dogs seemed surprised to see him. There was no barking. There was nothing like that.

You know, it was purely, I guess, from smell. I just found that quite amazing. That he was so in tune that he could smell.

I mean, it's a big building. It's an estate. It's not just like a house.

This is a place where I don't know. How many people live here? One, two, three. How many flats? One, two, three, four.

One, two. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-five. Probably about 25 to 30 apartments or flats with a big two communal gardens and pavements and front parts of the thing and a road.

So, that's quite a big area. So, he went all the way around there. It doesn't take long to get there.

I mean, you don't need a passport or anything. It's not that far of a distance. But I just, I was impressed that he found him so quickly.

He knew exactly where he was. I just, yeah, I thought it was quite cool. So, I lost some keys in 1988.

And I'm wondering, if I take him back to that beach, I wonder if he'd be able to find them for me. But then he'd need to be able to smell them first, wouldn't he? And if he could smell them first, which means I've got them, he kind of defeats the point of doing it. But those keys, I had a Coubertin key chain or Coubertin key holder, whatever.

And it's basically kind of like a martial arts self-defense key chain thing. And I had that for years. And I can't, I can't believe that I dropped it on the beach.

I mean, I don't know where else, because all I've done is walk through the beach, walk on the beach, whatever, during the day. How did I drop that? And it was a bit of metal. It was a bit.

And how would I not have heard that? Very strange. Very, very strange indeed. I've no idea where I was living at the time.

Where was I living? I just had a rented room somewhere. But I can't remember where. I don't remember, generally, don't.

Don't know. Don't care. I remember losing them though.

I think I had two or three Coubertin key chains. Over the years. Not anymore.

I'm pretty sure I bought one about 20 years ago or 25 years ago. But you can get wooden ones. You can get metal ones.

I'm not sure if they're legal, to be honest. Now, back then, pretty much. Yeah, it wasn't.

You know, in the 80s, you kind of things were a little bit more relaxed back then. Not necessarily a good thing, but you know. Yeah, I won't go into that.

So that's kind of it, really. I just wanted to tell you about my website. I'll be honest, I'm pleased.

I'm pleased with it. There's some touching up needed. There's some, you know, changes.

And I might do some of that today, maybe tomorrow. It's it's now quarter past seven, so I'm probably not going to do, you know, once I've edited this and processed it and uploaded it and all that stuff. It's going to be, you know, the night's kind of gone.

But I will. Yeah. Make some changes, I think, make a few little changes, a few little nips and cuts here and there.

What I'll do, though, I'll look on and have a look, see what it looks like on the phone, because it might, there might be ways of me just not having it on there, just deleting it, not deleting it, but just having it so it doesn't show up. So I haven't got to do anything. But we'll see.

We'll see. I have to work out how to do it first. That's it.

That is it. And in the time that I've spoken to you, my iPad has charged to 63% because it was on zero. So I unplugged the charger for the phone and for the iPad and for everything, all the equipment, unplugged that plug, because I shaved my head with the clippers or with, you know, the head shaver thing.

So I had that plugged in. And I was like, I wish I could do this in front of the mirror in the bathroom, because I could see what I'm doing. And I kept having to go through it over it and the hair was going all into the carpet in the living room.

And I finally had a mirror. And I stand at the front door. But to put my hat on and I thought, I better check, see if my hair's alright.

So I look in the mirror. And I realised I've got a mirror there. And there's a plug socket just underneath.

And there's a light just above. I mean, it's the perfect storm. I could have done everything there.

How could I just notice there's a mirror? I look in it every day. Just make sure there's no bogeys or anything before I leave the house. Make sure I haven't got any asparagus stuck in between my teeth.

So I'm not sure if I've ever even eaten asparagus. It's nice. I think it's nice if isn't it asparagus? Maybe I've got it wrong.

I used to be someone I worked for when I did window canvassing back in 1989. And he used to cook. He was like a chef.

I'm not sure if it was he did it or him did it. I don't know if it was him or if it was his wife. One of them, or both of them.

I'm not sure. But it was like beautiful food. They didn't mess around.

It was really, really good food. And some of the best food I've ever had. It just so tasty.

It wasn't like huge amounts. But it was really tasty. And I used to look forward to him offering me to go and have some food, because I was living on my own.

I just had a little room. At the time, it was basically takeouts. So I'd have a pizza or kebab or something like that.

I never cooked in the evening. I had breakfast in the morning, breakfast cereal. So I had some milk in the fridge or something like that.

And then at lunchtime, I ate in a cafe. And then in the evening, I would just get a takeout from somewhere, or just get a bag of chips or something like that. So it was lovely when I could go around there and have some food.

The only problem though, is if you visit someone, if they invite you around for dinner, how long do you wait? From the moment you finish your food, before you can leave. You know, it's like, well, I've had dinner now. I've got no reason to be here now.

But it just seemed a little bit rude to just stand up and say, thanks for the nosh. See you later. That just seemed a little bit rude.

It didn't stop me from saying it, but it seems a little bit rude. And there's also that thing like, well, what have we got to talk about? We've just spent the last four hours working with each other. There's nothing really to talk about now, is there? It's kind of done.

I think our chit-chat's been chit-chatted. And it's done. It's flown its nest.

I remember him, his name was Jeff. And his wife, Peggy, I think his wife's name was Peggy. She was lovely.

Yeah. So I'm gonna go now. Gonna, gonna go now.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.