#958 Useful farts Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (21st January 2023)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Hello. Open my iPad.

So, only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah, your eyes. Oh, I've got a bit of gas.

I never get gas any other time, only when I do these recordings. What was I going to do? Oh yeah. So, I hope you're well and for those that have never listened to these podcasts, or this particular podcast, it is... I don't know, what is it? I don't know.

How would you describe this thing that I do? It's kind of a, it's like a vlog really in a way, isn't it? It's like just chatting about stuff, or a blog, a vlog blog. And it's neither a blog nor a vlog because it's not not videoing myself and I'm not writing it down. So a blog is writing it down, a vlog is videoing it.

Oh, it's a podcast. Yeah. So, basically, I don't know, I just talk about what's going on.

And that's kind of it, really. There's not a lot else. I don't know.

I'm not sure how to explain it. I mean, the idea behind it is that you, you know, I talk, hopefully I bore you, so that you can relax, or maybe fall asleep. And another thing that some people get from listening to this podcast, and this is what people tell me, is that sometimes I'm company.

Yeah, someone to listen to, feel like you maybe get to know me over the years and a friendly voice. So a friendly voice, we're that's me. So, yeah.

Did you did? Did you? So, is this I just seen this weird? Wow. Okay. I just saw something about a dog's Met Office forecast.

Okay. Ah. Just more, more worrying.

So yeah. Today is Saturday the 21st of January. And, yeah, things are alright.

It's alright, isn't it? Yeah. It's alright. I've just done a whisper recording.

It was pretty good, you know. I don't normally blow my own trumpet, if only. So yeah, it was quite good.

I put Vinnie into the bedroom. So he's asleep. The weird thing about it, he actually likes being in the bedroom.

I'll sit out here watching telly, and he'll be in a bedroom on the bed. I think he prefers it when I'm not there, because he has the whole bed to himself. So I close the door, put him in there, close the door, and I close the door here.

So there's something about me making his podcast that he doesn't like. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm talking, but I'm not talking to him. I don't really understand quite what the dynamics is there, if you know what I mean.

It's like, I'm not really sure, I'm not sure what's going on here. But, yeah, it's only for like an hour, or whatever, and he's happy enough, and he's asleep, and he comes in here, and he's with me most of the time. So I don't think it's, you know, too bad.

And besides, he's already had three walks today, and it's only, it's not even four o'clock yet. He's had three walks. So he'll have another two walks before the end of the day.

I give him a walk probably about six o'clock, and I give him another walk probably ten, or something like that, before I go to bed. So we went into the field, he has his normal walk in the morning, that's the first thing I do. I get up, do a wee-wee, and pretty much just put my shoes on.

God, my throat's, it's weird, I was doing a whisper recording, and my throat was fine. And now I'm talking normally, I've got an itch. So I did, yeah, I take him out for a walk, and it's kind of what I do every morning now, regardless, whatever time it is, I wake up.

So I was kept awake last night until quite late, so I didn't wake up till eight o'clock. Now a normal time for me to get up is normally around six, six-thirty, six, eight is quite late for me these days. But it doesn't really matter, because I don't have to be up at a specific time, usually.

Although I spoke to the nurse at the hot doctors last night, yesterday afternoon, and I've got an appointment at the doctors next month, so, and it's really, it's like a weird time in the morning, but it's quite early, it's like, oh, okay. Which means I'm going to have to pay for the bus, it's like, oh, it doesn't matter really, does it, it don't really matter. And then that's done, so, I haven't, yeah, I've got my, basically the nurse I spoke to on the phone, she asked me if I had a blood pressure machine at home.

My response internally was, who the hell has a blood pressure machine at home? In what world do people have blood pressure machines? But apparently it's not unusual, I just didn't know. And I think I was kind of thinking of the actual blood pressure machine that I have in the GP surgery, which is this big piece of equipment, and you put your arm through it and it, you know, it's sort of automatic, but what she was talking about was the manual ones that they use generally on patients, you know, you put your arm in it and then they just pump it up or whatever.

So I thought, well, I haven't got one, well, I said I haven't got one, she said, oh, okay, we might have to lend you one to keep track of your blood pressure, because my blood pressure was so high yesterday, so I've got an appointment to try and sort that out.

Now, my blood pressure was from last January, like a year ago. Yeah, we know what last January means, I know, okay, fair enough, but a year ago, so there's been no, nothing happened since then. So there's a chance that my blood pressure's gone down, or up, I don't know, but there's a good chance I'm not, you know, a year's a long time when it comes to something like that, I guess.

So I thought about it and I thought, well, I'll get myself a blood pressure machine. So I got one online on credit, so I'll pay for it in three months or nine months time or whatever. It wasn't expensive, but it came through today, so I got it delivered this morning.

I haven't opened it yet. I'm a little bit, little bit kind of just dubious, maybe a little bit unsure about doing it, because, you know, she said to me, oh, well, sometimes people have conditions. It's not like an illness, but it's just they have certain, a thing where the blood pressure, when they get tense, their blood pressure goes up and they can't control when they get anxiety and stuff like that.

And I said, well, I've had a lot of problems with anxiety over the years. And she said, I know, because she'd be looking at my medical records. And she was just, um, I thought, oh, OK, but I don't want to have high blood pressure.

And I'm quite a relaxed person as well. That's the weird thing about it is I am relaxed. And every time I make a hypnosis recording, I'm relaxed.

When I make these recordings, I'm relaxed. When I lay in bed, I'm relaxed. When I sit down, I'm relaxed.

When I walk, I do walk in meditation. You know, I focus on my feet, even if I'm with the dog. I'm very focused.

I move slowly, purposefully, and watch my footing, especially with this weather. It's either slippery because of the ice or it's slippery because of the mud if I'm in the fields. So, I would say I spend quite a bit of time relaxing or, you know, purposely focusing on feeling calm, because let's face it, this is what I do, isn't it? This is what I do, the podcasts are about relaxing people, and I, you know, I try to I kind of think that I really should have a low, a fairly low blood pressure.

And when I was a kid, my pulse rate was very slow. I was when I had my appendix out when I was about 12. And the nurse said, Nurse Nichols, as she was, she said, it's weird that I still remember her name.

I loved her. I had a crush on her. She was, it's weird because she was old, but she probably wasn't old.

You know, I was 11 or 12 years old. She might have only been 18 or 20. So, she was very young, but to me, she was like a 40 year old, 50 year old, because that's old when you're 10, 11.

And, you know, to me, she was like 90, but I still really, really liked her a lot. And I remember thinking at the time, I actually remember this. I remember thinking at the time, wow, that I was gonna come back and see her when I was old enough.

When I left school, I was gonna ask her out. But then when I left school, four years later, or three years later, yeah, four years, three years, I completely forgot about her. Probably a bit late now.

So, if you're Nurse Nichols, get in touch. That was one of my favorite times of my childhood, having my appendix out, not the actual having them out, that wasn't so pleasant, but being in hospital for, I think, probably about five days, six days, because in those, you know, back in the early 80s, patients used to stay in hospital for a duration of time. You know, now, they give you a heart transplant and you're out two hours later.

Or you have a baby and you basically, you have the baby, they stick you in a wheelchair and stick the baby on your lap and they just wheel you out of hospital. I know that's not real, but everything's so quick now. You know, so, I'm pretty sure an appendix being taken out, probably one night in hospital, if that, I reckon, unless it's complications.

It's weird, I mean, last night, our, we got, I don't wanna get all political, but we got, we got issues with the National Health Service and they've been going on strike and stuff like that. My friend was really ill and we called 111, which is the, it's not, 999 is the emergency number for an ambulance or an emergency service. 111 is more like a triage, you know, you call them and then they assess you on the phone and decide what the best plan of action is.

And the lady on the phone, she said that she'd called an ambulance for him, for my friend. And he said he didn't really, he didn't wanna, he didn't wanna just, you know, get an ambulance out, he didn't wanna do all that, but, you know, there was, he was too ill to go outside until, you know, he was too, couldn't move and whatever. So, literally as soon as he put the phone down, his phone rang and it was the ambulance and they were telling him that they weren't coming, he had to make his own way to the hospital.

So he didn't go. There was no way of getting there. Hospital is, I don't know, about 15 miles away.

Yeah, a good 15, maybe 10, 15 miles and this was, I don't know, one o'clock in the morning. So there's no way of getting there. So it was not gonna happen.

So it was like, wow. I mean, it was the same friend a few years back. He had gastroenteritis, we didn't know what it was, but he was, all weekend he was in absolute agony and he came here on a Monday morning and he collapsed on the floor and he was like, oh, and I just called an ambulance, like, please come, he's, I don't know what's going on.

And they asked questions about where the pain was and it was in the wrong part of his stomach. It was either below the belly button or above the belly button, one of them, and because it was the wrong side of the belly button, they wouldn't come out. So we ended up getting a taxi.

This was during the day, we got a taxi to the hospital and he was, we were there for a few hours and they said, oh, it's gastroenteritis and they gave him medication, which helped, but he was ill for a while with it. But we didn't know what it was at the time. I mean, you know, he wouldn't have gone to hospital for gastroenteritis, even though it can be serious, but, you know, oh, very strange the way things are going at the moment.

Then I kind of think, well, if we go down the private route, then it'll be like taking, it'd be like using the vets. Vets here, they won't even look at your dog or your pet without getting money. Yeah, they don't, they don't take the money beforehand, but, you know, they, they expect you to pay.

They won't, you know, it's, if it was like that with the health service, I don't know. And the thing about it, it's not free. We, you know, we get a free health service.

No, it's, it's free at point of use, but it costs, everyone pays into it. National insurance, everybody in the whole country pays into the, you know, the national health service. So it's kind of, it's not a free service.

Isn't it weird? Isn't it weird? You know, someone said to me, when they're saying, oh, unemployed people, you know, you don't pay no tax. And I thought about it and I thought, we do realize that the average unemployed person would spend all of their money on things like groceries, maybe petrol for their car, you know, whatever things they spend their money. And pretty much everything they spend their money on is taxed.

So they're being taxed on what they pay for. So they are paying tax off of every penny that they've got. And it's not much you can spend money on that isn't taxed.

I think I might have made that up, I don't know. I wonder if books are taxed? What products are taxed? I checked this, I know how interesting it is, are taxed to public. So tax upon imported goods, motor fuel, cigarettes, alcohol, airline tickets, phone service, hotel rooms, parking garage, tickets.

Well, loads and loads and loads of stuff. So and that trickles down to the customer, doesn't it? Restaurant services, medical services, firearms, or like clearly isn't an English website. Health insurance plans are taxed.

Wow, I wonder if, I mean, the amount of stuff that I buy online, I don't buy a lot of stuff online, but the amount of things that even like a regular monthly subscription to maybe, I'm thinking, for example, the Adobe suite, which is for editing and stuff. I think that includes tax. The amount of things that I've got, and this is including tax.

So we're getting taxed all the time, all the time. Tax on goods and services, tax and fuel, so how do they do it? So, yeah, evaluate, exercise, tax and import, so yeah, so it's not really, I mean, it's interesting, I don't know, I don't know, it might be, I'm not sure. So got boxing on tonight, which is good.

It's Chris Eubank versus Liam Smith. Eubank, Smith, so they're fighting tonight. A lot of stuff is going on, and it's really, it's kind of weird because with the boxing, when there's a fight coming up, they have the conference, is it conference? The pre-fight conference where they get together and they sit at a big table and they just say horrible things to each other generally, give it the big end to each other, and then they do a face-off.

Sometimes they push each other or pretend to be angry with each other and whatever it takes really to get the audience to watch, to pay to watch, so it's in their benefit to cause a stir. Well, Chris Eubank Jr. is sitting there and Liam Smith is on the other side of the table. It's a long table, and he's, yeah, so he's on the other side.

He starts, um, Liam Smith starts implying that Chris Eubank Jr. is gay. And it was really weird to watch because, especially in this day and age, calling someone gay is, it's not really acceptable, you know, it's like, it's an insult. It's not an acceptable insult.

But among friends and stuff, it's different, but, you know, in public or whatever, it's to, well, it's causing problems online. Because the part, you know, the newspapers are starting to get a hold ahead of it. And then Chris Eubank said, oh, if you want to get personal, let's get personal.

And Liam Smith said, okay, bring it on. So then Chris Eubank Jr. says, I hear that you cheat on your wife. I was like, wow.

It's not stuff I normally hear. Usually, they're just having a go at each other. I'm going to do this and we'll do that.

Giving it the big one, like showing off and flexing and, you know, kind of a peacocking or whatever. But this was very strange. And who cares what his sexuality is? I mean, who cares? Who in the world? I know some people do care about stuff like that.

I really don't. But he came out for the next conference, Chris Eubank, came out for the next conference, like with the weigh-in. And he's got a rainbow, is it an armband? A rainbow armband.

So, which is the alphabet thing, isn't it? Eubank Jr. rainbow. Rainbow armband. Yeah, Chris Eubank wears a rainbow armband at weigh-in.

So, that was, I mean, that's a gay pride thing, isn't it? I think, rainbow pride or something. So, I've never seen a boxer do that before. And I don't know, are there any? Okay.

Okay. Orlando Cruz is the first boxer, professional boxer, to come out as gay, while still actively an active professional. He said, I have and always will be a proud puto rican.

I have always been, always will be a proud gay man. So, he's, I don't know if he was, I don't really know him. So, the weird thing about it is, in the female boxers, there's loads of gay female boxers, professional boxers though, and no one even, no lids are battered.

No eyelids are battered, or whatever, at all. Well, they are battered, aren't they, I guess, because they're boxers, but no one batters an eyelid, that's what I mean. What was that? Weird sound.

So, it's like, oh. I mean, in a way, if Chris Eubank decides to come out, and openly about his orientation, if he chooses to do that, whatever it may be, he could, that could make him a lot of money, because he could suddenly be like the poster boy, couldn't he? Because I don't, I'm not sure if there's any UK gay male boxers. British first only, oh, a man to be Britain's first openly gay boxer.

Oh, there is, but is he professional? I don't know. Oh, this is 2020, rugged professional boxer Vin, Vinnie Bailey. Vinnie, yeah, Vinnie.

Sparring partners to world champion Nigel Benn and Azuma Nelson, kept a secret, oh, so he's a former professional boxer. I mean, Nigel Benn and Azuma Nelson. That was the 90s, so he can't still be a professional, unless he is.

I mean, but he'd be in his 50s now, probably. Wow, it's not something I'd look, I would look up, because it's not something that interests me at all. But I just found it, the thing I found interesting is, how is this going to play out in this day and age? Where things are different to how they used to be.

And really saying, asking someone, are you gay? Is the same as asking someone, you know, do you like eating sweet corn? I mean, it's, it's none of your business. But at the same time, who cares? You know, it's not, it's not a big deal. It might be a big deal for the individuals, but in society, people just don't really care anymore.

There are those that do, and they're dinosaurs, and now that generation will go. The thing is, I think that generation, they keep breeding, and their offspring keep breeding. So there's still going to be those that have an issue with people's orientation.

Yeah, and then the, I think it's the Archbishop or someone said today, this is a couple of days ago, publicly said they still wouldn't recognise same-sex marriages, even though it's the law. So how does a church get away with not recognising the law, when everybody else has to? It's the law of the land, man. Everybody has to marry same-sex people now, I think.

Oh, maybe I got it wrong. Marriage, why would they want, why would anybody want to get married? I mean, I'm sure marriage is brilliant. But wow, so roller coasters, but I don't want to go on one.

Does anyone like roller coasters? Why? Apparently, some people need to do really kind of dangerous stuff or seemingly dangerous things in order to get their adrenaline going. Now my adrenaline doesn't need any kind of help. It may be because I lived a very boring life, but you know, if I see, I don't know, you know, I saw, looked to me like an eagle in the sky a couple of weeks back, and my adrenaline was going, I was so excited.

I've never seen a bird like it before. It looked to me like a kite, you know, the one with string, being controlled by a human or human woman. And because it was too big, the wingspan was way too big.

It was massive. And then I realized that it wasn't attached to anything, because first of all, it was flapping its wings every now and then. And secondly, it was changing direction.

And also it was moving really quickly over a long space, you know, in the sky. So there's no way someone else had a string and was holding on to it. Unless they were being pulled and they were in the air as well.

So I don't know what kind of bird it was. And I wish I'd had my phone on me so I could have filmed it. It was very exciting.

And it had all these colors, really beautiful colors on its wings. But it was big, big bird. And the wingspan wasn't just how wide the wings were, but they were big wings.

I'm like, wow, what is that? Pterodactyl, maybe. And then I remembered I'm an adult, so I can't really say stuff like that to myself. Like, of course, it's not a pterodactyl.

I'm like, no. But I just, I was transfixed. I was staring at it.

We know what transfixed means. No, but what? I just couldn't take my eyes off. Yeah, transfixed.

We know what, yeah, yeah, yeah, shush. And I was like, wow. And I so wanted it to come over to me.

You know, I thought, if it's an eagle, maybe it'll try and pick Vinnie up. So I was like, come, come and try. Obviously, I'd stop him.

But at least I get a chance to look at him, to see. So I've never seen a bird of prey close up. Not a big one.

Not really. Unless, of course, I have and I've forgotten about it. Yeah, I probably have seen them at some of those wildlife park places when I was a kid.

But not in the wild, because we don't have eagles here. But I think they do have them in Scotland. UK golden eagle.

The golden eagle is the top predator in the Scottish countryside. It is a massive bird of prey that, OK. How many golden eagles in Britain? About 400 pairs.

So it says there's nothing, it's only in Scotland. Well, I would say that it flew here. Because think about it.

This this country is only about 700 miles long. Seriously, from. I think it's from Johnny Grotes, however, to Land's End.

Apparently, the gold eagle was exterminated in England and Wales by 1850. Well, I saw a golden eagle, so there you go. And.

Size of Britain. OK. What? Coastline.

Great Britain. Oh, God, it's about 800. I think it's like 800 miles or something from one end to the other.

And travel. Travel. Travel.

Land's End. And. To Johnny Grotes.

That's it. It takes 23 hours and 33 minutes and it's over 1092 miles. Oh, oh, no, that's right.

That is different stops. The most direct route by car would take you on the road for 15 hours over a distance of 837 miles or one thousand three hundred and fifty kilometers. And there were some stops between Land's End, so it says Land's End to Johnny Grotes.

It would take up to 23, 23 hours and 33 minutes. 1092 miles. So that would be more the scenic route, as it were.

Now. Can you imagine? There's probably 837 miles. How many people listening to this think that that's a real small distance? It's a long way to go for a pint of milk, a loaf of bread or something, obviously.

Or if you need the toilet. Yeah, the closest utilities is a it's only 900 miles away. So, yeah, but.

Thinking about it, 837 miles isn't a long distance, is it? So. That's the distance. So I'm thinking so 875 miles.

How 875, 837. Miles traveled by Eagle. So distance from Eagle to Arno.

It's apparently, well, it's not going to take 15 hours, is it? Because by air, it's going to be even quicker. And because I've got all the. Thermal, I'm going to sound pretend to sound like I know what I'm talking about.

But they've got a thermals and stuff, haven't they? Where they can use to travel quicker. So. Eagles are moved relatively short distances, 350 kilometers.

12 and apparently random. So they can travel quickly. OK, speed, speed of an Eagle.

That's what I need, isn't it? Speed of an Eagle. Flying speed. He's not giving up on this Eagle idea, is he? No, I'm not.

A Golden Eagle, 320 kilometers an hour. So I don't know what that is in miles. 320, a Golden Eagle, 200 miles an hour.

Yeah. 2468, four and a half hours. And that's from Groningen, whatever.

So we're talking three or four hours to get here, or less. Probably three hours from Scotland to here. And that's how many hours is it from where I live? Two.

OK. It's 465 miles. So literally, yeah, it would take, what, less than two and a half hours for the Golden Eagle to fly from Scotland to here.

And because of the weather being fairly similar, and the warmer days being warmer, and all that stuff, why wouldn't it fly here? It's not like there's nets or there's signs in the sky saying, nope, you're not allowed here. You know, like, oh, no Eagles come to England. How do you know? There's nothing to stop them.

Is there? It's like, oh, there's no sharks on the English. There used to be this thing when I was a kid, there's no sharks near England. There is.

And I used to think, well, what's stopping them from coming here? Is it some kind of, is it like the road system? Is, you know, is there a toll thing they have to pay to get through, and sharks can't do it because they've got no pockets to keep their change? I don't know. Of course they're here. They've got whales.

You know, the big fish. It's not a fish. It's a fish.

Come on, it's not a fish. Yeah, it is really, isn't it? I mean, it's a fish without gills. It's, it's not a fish though.

Yeah, but how long will it last out of the water? That's not the point. It kind of is, really, isn't it? They can't live outside of water. It's a fish.

Yeah, but it needs oxygen. So do fish, but they get it from their, the gills. Produce oxygen.

So it's not like they don't need oxygen, they do. I hope that's correct, otherwise I just made it up. Dolphins.

They've got gills and they say they're fish. Shark are fish. Sea lions.

No, they're lions that live in the sea. Obviously. Penguins.

They're just, they're, they're, they're cute. I think they just, I think, leave the penguins alone, basically. Don't bring the penguins into an argument, ever.

I think it's unacceptable. I love penguins. I actually am a real fan of penguins.

There's something beautiful about penguins. I don't really know what it is. They're just beautiful.

There's something about them. I like birds and I like the idea a bird that swim, it flies underwater. They don't swim underwater, they fly underwater, don't they? It's kind of weird.

A bird that flies underwater. Nature's strange, isn't it? Isn't it strange, don't you think? I mean, kind of generally. Little bit, it's a little bit funny.

How dolphins do fart. Oops, I found out. I'll talk about that.

I've got, I've got a neighbour that talks a lot, just talks continuously when I see them. There's someone that lives nearby and sometimes I'm in a hurry and I need to get away. And they want to talk and talk and talk.

And sometimes it's cold and I want to get inside, you know, it's winter. I don't want to be standing outside in the cold. Well, today I was on my way home and I've been to the shops and I had a bag of shopping.

Put the bag down on the grass and speaking to him. And I said, look, I need to go to the toilet, so I'm going to head off. He said, OK.

And he was talking still. I bent over, picked the bag up and I farted at him. I didn't mean to, I just, he just came out.

And I looked over and he was gone. I mean, I'm not, the fart didn't evaporate him, but he just, he turned to dust. He, he just started walking away.

OK, bye then. That's like eight years. If only I'd known that all I had to do was fart at him in order to get away.

I mean, I'll talk to him, but I just don't always want to have long conversations. When I've been out because it's cold, I want to get in the warmth or it's raining or, you know, there's stuff to do or I've just bought some food that's hot and I don't want it to be cold, blah, blah, blah. And, but wow, if only I'd known that was the solution.

The other solution I generally find to get people to want to leave or get away from me is to talk about myself. But I try not to do that so much in real life because I know that nobody wants to hear about me. They want to talk about themselves.

That was annoying, wasn't it? Chair's making creaky sounds again. Clicky sounds. I need to get a new chair, but it's not on the top of my priority right now.

I'm trying to sit still so it doesn't click, but this is the most comfortable chair I've got. The other chair that I bought is uncomfortable. And then the other chair that I came, that I got from my nan when I moved in there, it's not hugely uncomfortable, but it's more for like sitting and eating your dinner, but it creaks.

This one's comfortable, but it clicks when I move. Again, the common denominator is me. So I'm thinking maybe getting another chair isn't the answer or the solution.

I can't believe, what's it? Four o'clock. It's dark. It's dark in here.

I need a light on inside. Still, it's not dark outside yet. You couldn't read a book out there.

You know, it's not light enough for that. But it's weird though, because it is getting lighter. It's staying lighter longer now, and it's getting lighter earlier.

But the clocks are going to be changing. I think it's at the end of March. The clocks go forward an hour, which means that it's lighter in the evening.

Yeah, it's lighter in the evening. Initially, it's darker in the morning. No, wait a minute.

It's lighter in the evening. It's lighter in the morning as well, isn't it? Because seven o'clock in the morning will now be eight o'clock in the morning. Seven at night will now be eight o'clock at night.

Yeah, so it's lighter in the morning and light in the evening. So that'll be... I thought, yeah, there's a dog in the background, really making a lot of noise. Not my little special boy, but one of the neighbours.

I'm not a big fan of barking dogs. I don't know how people put up with it. Do people just get used to it, like almost block it out, don't notice it anymore? Because for me, I'm concerned about neighbours.

Last night, I was downstairs, quite late actually, maybe 2.33 in the morning. I was putting Vinnie out for his last little run in the garden, so he could do a wee or whatever in there. And I went to take him upstairs and he started barking.

Like he'd seen something out the front. And I don't know if it was a cat probably, but he was proper barking. I was like, stop.

So I had to get him upstairs really quickly. He just starts barking for no reason sometimes. And I don't really understand why.

Why? It just don't make no sense to me. To me, it don't. No, it don't.

Don't make no sense. No, it don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So yeah, I'm just going to see what happens. See, hopefully he calms down a bit. But at night, I can't have him in my bed when I go to bed now.

He sleeps in here. I close this door. I close my bedroom door and I go to bed.

And if someone knocks at the door, he's going to bark, but it's not going to be as loud for me. Because getting woken up by that screeching barking, it's just too much. I can't handle it.

I really can't. And I think we both get a better night's sleep separate from each other. It's a shame.

I'd love to be able to just have him in there. And I do go for naps and he's on the bed with me. But at night, you know, he's in here.

He's got his food. He's got his water. He's got his bed.

He's got the chair. He's got all his toys. He's got everything he needs in here.

And, you know, we just have a little separate sleep time. And if he does start barking and there's no one at the door, well, even if he starts barking, I'm going to get up anyway and check the door. And if there's no one at the door, I'll come and see if he's okay.

So I'm not going to ignore it. I'm still going to hear it, but it just won't be as loud. It won't be right in my earlobes.

So, yeah, I mean, I don't need an alarm on my doorbell. He's there. Sometimes he'll bark every time anyone comes into the front door of the building because it's a shared front door.

I've got my own front door, but there's a, you know, a shared one, communal. And sometimes he barks every time. Other times he ignores it.

So I don't really know. I'm going to try and figure him out. I'm starting to figure some of what he does and why he does it, but it's going to take a while.

Yesterday or last night, he bit my trousers and he also bit my socks and he bit through and he didn't bite me, but he nipped my shins. And I was not pleased with that. I did not want that happening.

He didn't need to bite me. He wasn't aiming to do that. But he's got a thing about biting trousers.

And his previous owner or previous home said, oh yeah, he likes to bite trousers. Why did you not get him out of that when he was little? So he's now he's 10 months old. No, he's 11 months old.

It's much harder to get him out of something at 11 months than it was when he was born. When he was, or when he was only four months old or five months old, you know. So, there's a few bad habits that he's got, that he does, and when we're walking, if he doesn't want to go in the right direction that I'm going in, he bites.

Well, first of all, he sits down and refuses to move. And then if I continue walking or say, come here, he'll bite the lead and try and pull me in a different direction. And if I don't go in that direction, it starts barking and pulling at the lead and, you know, really going a bit nutty, really.

But once he gets into that frame of mind, even when I stop and say, well, which way do you want to go? It's too late. He's now in the mindset of biting the lead and basically having a tantrum. So, what I've been doing lately is picking him up.

So, I pick him up and I carry him, maybe for a few minutes. And when I put him down, he's good as gold. He behaves.

And maybe he's doing it because he wants to be picked up and he wants a rest. It's possible, maybe he enjoys being carried. But, you know, I wish there was a way of communicating these things because I guess it would make things less interesting.

But it makes things probably a little bit easier. A little bit easier, just to know what he wants or when he wants it or why he wants it. To be able to sit down, even if it's just once a month and have a conversation.

Listen, Vinnie, let's just put your cards on the table. I'll put my cards on the table and we'll have a game of poker, I don't know. And then after that, we'll talk to each other and tell each other what we're doing that annoys each other and what we're doing that we like about each other.

And, you know, just generally work things out by talking, by discussing, communicating. But that's not an option because he doesn't speak my language and I refuse to learn his. I'm an English man.

I do not learn other languages. It's in my tradition. Everyone else should speak English.

That's the tradition of English people. Everybody else should speak English. We don't have to speak any other language.

Yeah, I'd actually like to be able to speak other languages. But I don't seem to have the temperament or the natural interest. I'd have to be interested in something to learn how to do it.

Learning to do something that I've got no interest in is, or if it has no practical value to me, it's possibly, probably, mostly impossible for me to do. There has to be a reason to do something. Learning Thailand, the Thai language, I, if I had a wife or girlfriend out there, I guess I could learn parts of the language.

I could start to learn it. But, or if I lived there or something like that. But generally, the idea of, oh, we should learn parts of the language because you go on a holiday somewhere for two weeks is just ridiculous, I think.

It's, no, learning language, trying to learn a language because I'm on holiday for two weeks. Three weeks, maybe, not two weeks. I mean, three weeks, I'd expect fluent, fluency.

But two weeks, nah, basic words, maybe. But some people love all that, don't they? They start planning, or I'm going to Spain in a year's time, I'm going to start learning the language. Learn all about the culture and the language.

Why? But it's because they want to, it's fun for them. It's like, good, good for them. I just, it's not really something that, I actually got bored with that sentence before I even finished it, sorry.

That was a boring, that was a whole conversation of boring, wasn't it? I mean, I know it's supposed to be boring, but there's limits. When I'm too bored to finish a sentence, you know there's really been a boring recalling, really boring. But on that note, I'm going to go.

Thank you very much for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself, to be gentle with yourself, because you deserve to be happy. And just remember that throughout your life, you've helped so many people, times that you don't even know that you've helped them.

Maybe you said a kind word, maybe it's been a smile, maybe just, you know, held the door open for someone, or it might been a small thing that to you is insignificant. But to them, it was really, it made the difference. And it, it stopped them going in a different direction in their life, in that moment.

So that might seem like a nothing thing. It might have given them a new hope in human nature. So if they're walking down the street and they're feeling all negative and about everything, and then they meet you, and maybe you do something nice for them, it may change the direction they're traveling in their life.

And it could actually change the whole life by what happens next in a positive way. So it's worth remembering, even though you might not be aware, I mean, you may well be aware of times you've helped people and how it's helped them, you know, it really helped them. But there's times when you've helped others, and you won't have even realized, and perhaps they've not told you.

So it's worth remembering that, that you really have made a difference to this planet. So that's me, take care, and I will speak to you tomorrow. Lots of love.

Bye.