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Hello, hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland, my website's jasonnewland.com, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I was going to say that little Vinnie was asleep, but as per usual the second I start talking he jumps out of his bed and comes over and sits by my feet and I'm hoping that he won't start being naughty because we've literally got back from a walk.
So I assume he's, we didn't do a poo though to be fair, so I'm hoping I don't have to take him out again because it's quite late, it's 11 minutes past 11 in the evening, I'm normally in bed by now. I made a little mistake, a little bit accident, no I didn't have an accident, I went for a lay down but I fell asleep. I just went to lay down just to rest, you know, for half an hour and I woke up at like half nine, I was like, oh, oh, you know, so it's going to be a later night's sleep tonight which is, it's okay, I didn't get up till after eight o'clock this morning anyway so I don't really need to go to bed early.
For some reason, for some reason I woke up about six and quite up to very recently I've been getting up at about six and I take him out for a walk and come back, have my breakfast, you know, it's a nice little start to the day depending on whether it's raining or not. I'd prefer, I don't know if you live in England or the UK what your opinion is on this and I don't mean like indoors, I'm just talking about outdoors. If I have to go out and take, let's say if you've got a dog and you have to take a dog for a walk, I'd prefer it to be cold than raining, that's just my personal opinion.
You know, I can wrap up, I can wear gloves and all that stuff and a hat, I wear a hat all the time because my hair is so curly right now, there's nothing wrong with curly hair but my hair is, it's not good curly, it's as Sebastian from Germany calls me Mr. Unkempt and that's really a good word for my hair currently, it's long, it's not long but it's much longer than I normally have it and I'm thinking of growing it like long, covering my bald patch, I don't know. It might be fun just to do something a little bit different, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, it might be.
Anyway, I was wondering if you agree, I'm not saying I love it when it's freezing cold but, you know, rather than rain, because if it was just like going out once, coming back, I could change my clothes, get into something dry and it's fine but I'm going out 4, 5 times a day with him, at least 4 times a day I'm taking him for a walk, at least, I mean sometimes it is more than that, so this morning I got up at 8 o'clock, I take him for a walk, then I take him for a walk again, maybe about 11, 12, then again about 3, 4 and then again maybe 8 or 9, you know.
So there's a few hours between, sometimes it's more than that, sometimes it's 6 times a day. I don't have enough clothes to be getting soaked through that many times a day. I can imagine how good it would be just to have a piece of toilet paper and to be able to turn it into a game, because that's what he's done, he's managed to, he basically pulled a bit of toilet paper that I had in my pocket, I'd use them to clean my glasses because my glasses were wet, so I'd use them to dry my glasses off, I just put it in my pocket of my top, of my top, of my top, just my top and he stuck his nose in there and he pulled them out, pulled out that toilet paper and now he's chewing on it.
How can that be an interesting thing to do? You know what I mean, it's like I don't get it, I just don't get it man, I don't know. So yeah, I think the other weather that's a bit problematic probably would be, I guess wind, like real, really strong wind. You know, sort of, I try to avoid being around trees when it's really windy, so that I wouldn't walk in the field if it was like a proper seriously windy day because I don't know how old those trees are or anything.
So, which brings me to what I was going to initially say to be fair, is I wanted to give a big, send my well wishes to any listeners in California or any other parts of America that have been having the really, really extreme weather the last week, the last few days. So, I hope you're all okay. You know, over here we get it on the news but it's, they don't talk about it too much here.
They mention it but I went online because my friend told me about it. He said, you know, he said, did you hear about California, I said no, and then I saw it on the news but it was just a little bit at the bottom, a bit of text saying that California has been evicted, not evicted, but they've been asked to move out for now and yeah, so I just wanted to, I went online to just check what's going on. So, I hope anyone that listens to this podcast and, you know, your family and stuff are well and safe.
What are you doing down there? I need to tidy this place up, I really do. Right, I got a message, just came through, literally two minutes past 11, so 16 minutes ago. This is from, this is on my website and it says, it's from Chloe, so it says here, Lifesaver, that's the headline.
Dear Jason, I first discovered your podcasts during lockdown. I was so amazed that I could find something that will help me cope with my anxiety and insomnia. Your dedication for making these programs are helping me today.
I can't thank you enough. As a 21 year old student living in London, it's always nice to listen to your latest episodes after a long day. So, thank you Chloe, I really appreciate that.
Have you noticed that when I read I sound like a robot? I first discovered your podcasts during lockdown. Very unflowing isn't it, the way I read. It's the way I do it, I'm sorry.
But I really appreciate that Chloe, so thanks very much. I love hearing messages like that, it kind of cheers me up, it does. Gives me a nice warm feeling.
So... Right, so what was I going to do? Also, welcome Enya Karuna to my Facebook page, Jason Newland Hypnotist Group. And... I just accepted you on there. I just went on there by accident, because I did actually press the button.
But I had a little look. So, welcome. And she's from Florida, so hey, Florida.
It's... Not ironic, but because I was just talking about Florida. And... You know I don't like to talk about statistics. But I noticed something.
This is something I noticed. That on my statistics... I can actually look at... Let's say the last month. I can also look at geolocation.
So 313,000 downloads last month. 47.68% is out from America, or United States. And 25.12% is from United Kingdom.
So although... I'm not going to keep talking about stats, this is just a brief, a very brief interlude. Can you hear him? Oh, he's playing with his rabbit. He's basically shaking it around.
Which is why I don't let him anywhere near a cat. Because that's what he wants to do to a cat. He's... I had to tell him off earlier.
We were out in the street, and I said, look. We're here walking. Not stalking.
Because that's what he's doing. He stops outside a house. And he just sits down and stares at the house.
And puts one paw up. As if to say, that's where it is. Now I don't know what it is.
I don't know if it's a cat. I don't know if he can smell another dog, maybe a friend of his that he's met on walks. So he's excited, he just wants to say hello.
I don't know. But I had to tell him off. I said, look, this is not on.
I found out from his former mum. Because I saw her today. And it's weird because he's not been playing up.
Normally he plays up when he sees her. He goes crazy seeing her, which he did. But not as much as normal.
Not quite as extreme. And normally I can't drag him away from her. Now you'd want to go with her, admittedly.
But after like two seconds, he was back walking with me again. And he hasn't played up since. Hasn't been pining for her or anything.
Which he normally does when he sees her. Anyway, she told me a funny story. Because she literally lives behind my building.
And... I don't know, this is a few months ago. He escaped. He escaped, he's not in prison.
But he got out the front door. And he ran right across the road. Which is not good obviously.
Luckily no cars. And he ran into, there's a school. And he ran into the school.
And was playing with the kids in the hallway of the school. And having the time of his life. Absolutely loving it.
And I guess they, I'm sure they did as well. And then a teacher came. Because the mother of his former mother.
Foster mother. Was looking for him. And the teacher, one of the teachers came out holding him.
Saying, does this belong to you? And he said, oh I'm so sorry. The teacher said he's very friendly. Very, he's like the friendliest dog ever.
He loves everybody. Everybody, every human, every adult, every child. Every dog, he ain't got an issue with nobody.
I'm a little bit concerned at how interested he is in cats though. I mean he might be really good with them. I kind of don't want to, I'm scared to find out.
Just because of the cliche of dogs and cats. Because when he sees a cat, he tries, he chases. He tries to chase.
He's on the lead so he doesn't get a chance to chase. So it's, I don't know. But he's such a friendly dog.
He loves everybody. He just absolutely loves everybody. And he does that thing where he jumps up.
Because he's so tiny, he only gets as far as your knee anyway. So it's not like a problem, generally. I guess if you're wearing white trousers and it's a muddy day, then you might end up with footprints on your trousers.
But generally, you know, he just absolutely loves everyone. What a weirdo. Blimey, get to 52 years old and then see what you feel about humans.
I'm just having a drink. Oh anyway, back to the stats. Very briefly, it is a brief, honestly, don't worry.
It's true, it's going to be brief. Now 47.68% in the last month was United States. So it's 149,304 downloads out of 313.
United Kingdom, 78,674. Australia's third, Canada's fourth, Ireland, India, Philippines, Sweden. Okay, now we're focusing on the United States.
So United States, out of all the people that listened last month, 10.82% are from California. And 8.62% are from Florida. So I just, yeah, I just thought it was interesting to see that.
I mean, if you go for the whole year, last 12 months. Okay, I could do that again. Okay, do it again.
United States for the last 12 months, 2,475,597. And the United Kingdom, 1,008,237. So the United States is 50.84%. Now, it's still the, obviously it's still the highest percentage is United States out of all the countries.
But there was a time when the United States was like 70%. So I'm quite happy that more countries are listening. That's really cool.
And there's a lot of non-English, not non-English speaking countries. You know what I mean, like the, where it's the native language. Is that the correct terminology? Like France, French, Germany, German, you know.
So there's not that many native English speaking countries in the world, is there really? Yet, I've got lots of countries that listen. So that's cool. Spain, Japan, Norway, Belgium, Denmark, Italy, Thailand, Belgium, Australia, South Africa, Ireland, India, Belgium.
You know, I've got lots, you know. The thing is, I know I've joked in the past, you know, about, I did a boring podcast and talked about Belgium. But you know what, my boring podcasts are talking about things that I really love.
So just because it's called boring, because I did one today and talked about dogs. So I'm talking about him and dogs and I don't find dogs boring. So it's not, you know, just because it's called Sleepy Boring Objects, which is that podcast I do.
It's kind of, it's like this podcast, but I focus on just one subject. Now, a lot of you may not believe that that's even possible for me to do. Bearing in mind that, just from my memory, recently, there's been a few occasions where I've not even finished the story that I was telling.
You know, I've been talking for an hour and a half and I still didn't finish the story. And it was just a basic, simple, short story without any real meaning. So, my first taste of being abroad was Belgium.
And I'll be honest, I loved it. I loved every aspect of going there. Probably the most exciting part was the ferry, because I just loved, I love that feeling of leaving the country.
But being able to see myself leave the country, you know, I used to like to stand on the ferry and wave goodbye to England. And even though it's only, what, 20 miles away, or whatever, 25 miles from England, it's just, it's very close. It's just nice.
Just nice to get away and to, I think the first time I went, we weren't allowed to leave the boat because the weather was too bad. It was like extreme weather and they couldn't dock the boat, something like that, so they just had to turn back. Now I'm making part of that up, but there was a reason, we couldn't get off the boat anyway, I'll remember that.
Second time, pretty sure we got off the boat, but I don't remember what we did. Third time I went on my own, well I went with some group of friends, and I was, what was I, 18 years old. One of the best days out I've ever had.
Like my whole life, honestly, it was so much fun. It was new, it was just brilliant. So, although I've made fun of Belgium being very, very flat, and I actually have very fond memories of the place.
So yeah, I've got a lot of goodwill towards that place, I do, genuinely. Which is why I make fun, I make fun of things that I like, I don't make fun of things I don't like. So yeah, that's a weird, weird concept maybe, but if there's something that I really don't like, I generally don't talk about it.
Unless of course I do, but then I do. Mind you, I did get food, oh man, we had some burgers, and they weren't cooked properly. And we went to this place, it was almost like an American diner, and ice cream, it was really nice, really nice interior.
And there was probably one, two, three, probably about five or six of us, all from work. And we all went there on a Sunday, basically just went there, went there Sunday, came back the same day. So went there in the morning, probably about seven in the morning, got there about two in the afternoon, stayed there for maybe four, five hours, and then came back.
So it was just a day out, it was a really, really good day out. It was weird though, because on the way back, there was chaos, because there was a cinema on the ferry. And for some reason, I don't know, it was almost like a riot went on.
So it was a lot of young people on the ferry, and they were all like fighting, and they were drunk, and it was weird. Now, I probably wasn't drunk myself, because I looked about ten years old. It was very difficult for me to get served.
It was hard to even get cigarettes, and you only needed to be sixteen back then to buy cigarettes. In this country, and I still struggled to get cigarettes. But smoke, you know, cigarettes, alcohol, I could get alcohol in town, in the shops, because people knew who I was.
If you know what I mean, they'd perhaps seen me grow up, or perhaps the people that worked in the shops were people that I'd been to school with. Or, you know, they knew me from the chip shop, so they knew that I'd left school and I was like an adult. So that was okay, you know.
The local pubs used to serve me when I was sixteen. Now, I looked about five years old when I was sixteen. Which is why I look so young now, I guess.
And... It was weird, because... What was that noise? Do you know what I mean? A big old banging going on. I don't know what that is. You can hear him in the background, sorry about that.
He's eating a bone now. I've actually ordered some bones on the internet for him. They're... I don't know if they're frozen or what, I don't know.
So I'll have to check out what they are, but it should keep him happy for a while. I want to sort of test out and see what he likes. And the good thing with the internet, I can try stuff that I can't get locally.
You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean, innit? Yeah. What was I going to say? Oh yeah, so that was it, that was just what I was going to talk about, the statistics.
Is... It's quite interesting, so... United Kingdom. England. London's the top.
For the last... Twelve months. London, then Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, Bristol, Derby, Liverpool, Nottingham, Warrington, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Bradford, Stockton-on-Tees, Preston, Walsall, Gateshead, Maidstone, Northampton, Plymouth, Guildford, Amesbury, Salford, Ballam, Slough, Middlesex, Coventry, Hull. Wow, that's loads, innit? I can't read them all out, that's too many.
Well, I can read them all out, but that would be even more boring than I want to be. So I've been in London, I was born in London, so I know London. I've been to Birmingham.
I've been to Manchester. I've not been to Leeds. I used to date a girl that lived in Derby.
I've been to Liverpool. I used to have a friend that lived in Nottingham, so I used to visit there. I've never been to Warrington.
I used to live in Newcastle. I've never been to Bradford. Stockton-on-Tees, nope.
Preston, Walsall, Gateshead, nope. Maidstone. I've been to Maidstone loads of times because I had an uncle who lived there.
Northampton. I dated a girl from there, but I never actually visited where she came from. Plymouth, no.
Guildford, Amesbury, Salford, Ballam, Slough. I've been to Ballam, I've been to Slough. Middlesex, that's a big area, I've been to Middlesex loads of times.
Coventry, nope. Hull, no. Portsmouth, St Helens, no.
York, no. Brentwood, yes. No, no I haven't.
Newark-on-Trent, no. Saltburn-by-the-Sea, no. Cheshire, Launceston.
Oxford, no. Southport, Milton Keynes. Been to Milton Keynes.
Halifax, no. Whittam, yes. Solihull, no.
Taunton, no. Zola, no. Doncaster, no.
Halesmere, no. Richmond, no. Huddersfield, no.
Chesham, no. Sheffield, no. Now some of these places I probably have been to, but it's been places within those areas.
So, um, Salford, I think I've been to Salford, but it's a town near there. Yeah, to be fair though, there's 490,000 downloads from other places in the UK, or in England. So, for some reason I'm not listing those.
That's too many, too many to go through. So if you're from one of these locations, hi, hi, how are you? Shall we look at the devices? It's the last 12 months. 98.03% of people listening to my podcast, according to this, listen on a phone.
And out of those people, 94.05% listen on an iOS. 4.71% Android. Wow.
Tablets, 0.79%. Desktop, 0.43%. That's a tiny amount, isn't it? Smart speaker, 0.10%. Now that's weird, isn't it? Because a smart speaker would be something like Alexa or stuff like that, wouldn't it? I guess. So, people are not using Alexa. Maybe, the way that... I mean, I had it, it was a novelty, but I got rid of it, because whenever I said the word Alexa, or someone said the word Alexa on a TV or a radio, it'd come on, it'd be annoying.
So I turned it off. And... I mean, there was that thing about being listened to. Is your device listening to us? I don't know.
In some ways, I don't care, because what are they going to listen to? What are they going to hear? What are they going to hear about me that you can't hear on my podcast? I mean, it's just as boring. It's not going to be anything interesting. But I do find it... Like, sometimes I'll be here and I'll be talking about something.
And then I go on Facebook and there'd be an advert for that thing. Coincidence, maybe. Maybe.
The thing is, I thought, why would Facebook be advertising to me, trying to sell me... ...adverts for hats for elephants? I just happen to be talking about hats for elephants, elephant and different kinds of hats that elephants wear. I mean, that seems a little bit random, doesn't it? Wow, what is a Tizen? K-O-S? Cloud? Fuchsia? WatchOS? Blimey. Sources.
Let's have a look at the sources. This might be interesting. It might not be interesting.
I don't know. It is to me, but... Oh dear, I'm tired. I'm tired.
As you may or may not know, I'm... This podcast and my other podcasts are on most podcast apps, you know, online. But only... Yeah, not many of them... I mean, all of them have thousands of downloads. It's like a tiny percentage compared to the top ones.
So according to this, out of the 4.8 million downloads I had last year, Apple Podcasts, 91% was listened to on Apple Podcasts. Just 2% listened to on Spotify. Just 2% listened to on Podcast Addict.
1% listened to on CastBox. And 1% listened on Stitcher. Now, that 1% came to $48,480 for Stitcher and CastBox.
No, CastBox and Stitcher was $36,374. That's 1%. So Apple Podcasts, 4,447,193.
I don't understand how that's worked out. I don't understand how... I thought I'd be... I don't know, I just... I wonder why the other... I do get listened to in other places. I mean, even Audible.
I had nearly 5,000 downloads on Audible. I'm like, what? You know what I mean? Even Amazon Music, I've been listened to nearly 14,000 times last year. But why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't get it.
I don't understand. I'm grateful that Apple Podcasts, you know, people are listening, but... I'd like to be heard on other podcasts. Now, I think some of them might actually download the podcast.
And they don't maybe share the stats. So my stats might be a lot higher than what I know, than what I realize. Because that was something I read yesterday.
So the stats might not be completely correct. Wow, look at this. I had 828 subscribers an hour ago, now I've got 830.
That's two new subscribers. That might sound like not much, but two so quickly, that's pretty cool. Don't you think? You don't care, do you? You don't care.
I don't know why I'm bothering with you. You don't care. I mean, it's gone up, yeah.
I'm just repeating what I just said. 828 to 830. I mean, I realize that is quite boring.
But when you consider, when you consider that this is just in the last 28 days, it was 795 30 days ago. I realize that's like 35 subscribers, it's not a huge amount, is it? Perhaps not enough for me to get excited about, but I don't care. It's the little things in life sometimes.
Don't you think? So I've got, according to this, I've got 34 subscribers in the last 28 days. It's 143% more than the previous 28 days. It's not bad.
It's not bad, is it? I've got 2.2 thousand views in the last 28 days. Oh, actually 2,165 views in the last 28 days. And that's 1.3 thousand more than usual.
So it's going up. Watch time hours, 258 hours. Or 258.3 hours in the last 28 days.
48.3 more than usual. So it's all rising. The subscribers are rising.
The amount I get every day is rising. Slowly. Very, very, very slowly.
Very slowly. But it's OK. Bearing in mind that I was getting 13 for December.
I had 38 downloads, or 38 views. Yesterday I had 112. So, you know, within 28 days it's risen.
It goes up and down. I had 131 on the 26th of December. But now, yeah, 112 yesterday.
It's weird though, isn't it, when you consider this compared to the podcasts. It might seem weird. How can I get excited about getting 2,165 views in 28 days? When in the same period, over the last 30 days, I've had 378,735 downloads on my podcasts.
It's all about perspective, I guess. Because it's 378. I love it.
It's great. It's growing gradually. But it's not increased the same as the YouTube channel.
If my YouTube channel, if my podcast had increased by, like doubled, then, you know, last month I'd have had 700,000 downloads. You see what I mean? So the fact that it's growing, the YouTube channel is actually growing at a much faster rate than the podcasts. Even though the podcasts are, you know, a lot more, there's a lot more going on there.
But then I put a lot more energy into this, you know. Every day I do, I try and do at least one recording, one recording. Today I've done two.
I do need to start, he's annoying. Can you hear him grinding away on that bone? I know some people like to hear the little fella. Just as you like to hear Andre in the past.
It's a little bit distracting for me. It's almost just like I've got another Andre in the house. It's doing the same thing.
Andre used to run. If you don't know Andre, Andre was my little ferret. I had it for five and a half years and he was my little boy.
He was a beautiful little thing. But he'd have this thing where he'd have a carrier bag. He had about four carrier bags dotted around the room.
And he'd run from one carrier bag, roll around in it, make as much noise as he could. And then he'd run to the next carrier bag, make as much noise. This is while I was trying to make a recording.
Especially if I was doing a live broadcast on YouTube or something, or Facebook. And then he'd run to the next one, roll around. The amount of times I had to put him into the bedroom.
Just stay there for a little bit. And then he'd scratch at the door. Vinnie doesn't do that.
Vinnie's happy, he'll just go on the bed and go to sleep. Andre could not stand a closed door. He would literally scratch at a door for an hour and a half until it was open.
And then he'd just look through and walk out again. He didn't want to go in that room, he just wanted that door left open for him. And he'd do a little... I forget what they call it.
It's search and check everything was correct. Do a little patrol every now and then. And he'd go into every room, look around.
Honestly, he'd go to the front door, look around. He'd go into the bedroom, look around. He'd go into the living room, look around.
He'd go into the kitchen, look around. Then he'd go into the bathroom, look around. And then he'd go and lay down and go to sleep.
Or he'd go and do something else. And he'd like check, check every room. I don't know what he was checking for.
But he just liked to know the layout, make sure everything's as it should be. Whatever that should, I don't know, in his mind, what he expected. But he was very, very possessive of this place.
This was his home. I was his guest. I was his tenant.
Serious, I'm not even joking. He was my landlord. Now this little fella underneath the desk, he thinks he's in control as well.
Now, you know, ferrets are pretty much, well Andre was, he wasn't trainable, not really. I guess they are if you know how to. I didn't know how to.
But he's very strong willed. Vinnie is, he does this thing now, and I probably talked about it before. And it's still a battle of wills.
And he's done it twice today. Where we come in from being out for a walk. He's still on the lead.
We get inside the house. I close the door. And I unzip my jacket.
Take my hat off. And he's, sometimes he'll just stand there. And let me take the lead off of him.
It's fine. But twice today, and he does this nearly every day at the moment. He runs off and he goes into the living room or, you know, or just stands in a hallway, further up the hallway.
And just I have to stare him out. I say, come on, come let me take the lead off. He refuses to move.
He sits there. So I stare at him. He stares at me.
And then he looks away. And then he walks halfway towards me. And I just stand there and I don't do anything.
I say, come on. And I'm not being firm with him. I'm just saying, come on.
It's not like shouting or anything like that. There's no enticement. I'm sure if I had a little treat, he'd be there in a shot.
But I need him to, I know treats are a good way to manipulate dogs and stuff. But I don't want him, I want him to just know who's the boss. Not that I want to be bossy.
Just I want him to do simple things. So I say, come let me take the lead off. He does it.
Just like if I say, don't, you know, stay. I want him to stay. You know, if we're about to cross the road or something like that.
Yeah. Well. Every time he gives in.
He gives in and he comes to me and he just stands there and lets me take the lead off. Sometimes he rolls on the floor. Sometimes he just lays there.
Sometimes he just stands there. Every day he's been doing this for about a week, I think. So it's just him trying to boss me about.
But it's not working. And the problem with it is because he's attached to the lead, so he can't go anywhere. So it's almost like I don't pull in.
I leave the lead. You know. I leave it so he can't run away.
He can't go any further. Because I think it's about 15, 15 foot lead. So he can't, you know, he can't go more.
He's probably 10 foot away from me at this point. So I lock it so he can't go any further away. And he walks about five foot and then he walks the next five foot to me.
Now today. He went into the bedroom, normally just walks up to the living room. He went to the bedroom.
I thought, where is he? Because I had the full lead on. I didn't, you know, I stopped it, but I didn't know how long the lead was. Couldn't see where he was because he was in the room, in the bedroom.
And I said, come on, come on Vinnie. Come, let me take the lead off. Come here.
Nothing. I wait. Nothing.
Now he's not looking at me, is he? So I guess he's not. Got that like thing. I can't.
I can't stare him out. So I go into the. I just have a little walk up to the bedroom door.
To look in and he's just standing just inside the door. With his back to me. So he's listening to what I'm saying.
So then I just leave him. I walk back to the door and I say, come and eventually did walk half the way and then he walked back. Back to me.
So I don't know what quite is going on with him. It's a battle of wills. I win.
When he's here. When we're out, another thing he does is. He's got this thing where he grabs hold of the lead.
He bites the lead. And growls. And it's kind of a game to him.
But at the same time, it's kind of, I think, passive aggressive kind of game. So he's trying to let me know that he's the boss and I should walk where he wants to walk. And if he decides to walk up and down the same bit of road three times, I should do that.
I don't really want to do that. I think some people would feel a little bit uncomfortable seeing me walking past their front door. Their living room window.
Three or four times in a row. Keep going walking back and forwards. That would just be a bit weird.
So I don't mind walking past. And I'll even walk back later on if he takes me in a circle, which he does sometimes. But I don't want to keep walking backwards and forwards because.
Bearing in mind, he's so little. Some people can't even see that I've got a dog with me. They might just think I'm a bit weird.
And. Truth is, I am a bit weird. Not in that way, but.
I'm a bit strange, I guess. I mean, listen, I'm talking. Look, look, look what I'm doing.
This is a bit of a strange thing to do, isn't it? Really. So. I. I find it much easier talking to you.
And I want to say talking to you because, you know, I know people listen. I know you're listening right now. I find this easier than.
Face to face. And I don't mean talking on the phone is easier. I'm just talking.
I'm like just. I find this easier than talking to a human. And.
In real life, I mean, like whether it's on the phone or whether it's in person. It's. To hold a long conversation with someone is something I really don't do.
You know, if I have conversations with people. That's quite part of the reason I quite like the dog walking because it's. Hello, goodbye.
That's a brilliant conversation. Is your dog? Is your dog OK? Is it OK if my dog says hello to yours? Yeah, good. Yeah, it's cold, isn't it? Yeah, I prefer it when it's not raining.
I prefer the cold to the rain. Yeah, you too. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, you've been to Belgium as well. That's good, isn't it? Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's flat, but it doesn't matter. I'm not a big fan of hills anyway. You know, I like I like to just walk around to walk up hills and stuff.
I'm not making fun of the place. I like the place. Oh, you get it.
You make fun of things that you like as well. Yeah, me too. Yeah.
So see you. Bye. Love you.
And that's the end of the conversation. It's done. Two minute conversation.
Bye bye. That's a perfect relationship. See you later.
I mean, sometimes I will have a longer conversation with someone that I haven't seen for six months. Or a year. That's good.
I love that. It's nice. Not seeing someone for, I don't know, eight, nine, ten months.
Because you got something to talk about. Well, I've got something to talk about. I don't know about you, but I kind of, you know, I can give a summary.
Like, well, I spoke to my friend last night and hadn't spoken to her since August, probably. And he just started barking there, which is not good. I'm not happy with him barking, not at midnight.
I think there might be someone downstairs in the flat downstairs, so I think he's hearing people talking or something. And he's not used to it. But.
Oh, yeah. So I spoke to this friend. And because it's August, September, October, November, December, five months.
We had. Things to talk to each other about. In fact, I don't think I've even seen her since lockdown.
Seriously, it's been quite a while, but I've spoken to her on the phone. And, you know, in that time, I can talk about a little holiday. I got a new dog, fractured my back, cracked my rib, broke some toes.
I can talk about a podcast going well. And. I can't think anything else really that's.
Happening. Maybe Big Brother's coming back to talk about that. She talked about some of her stuff, but we had something to talk about.
I don't know how. How do people do the like everyday thing? I do see people every day and it's the same conversation. It sort of is kind of the same conversation every day.
It's like instead of see you later. Speak to you in six months. Well, that's something to talk about.
It's like really like, well, OK. To be continued. And I don't know.
I don't know. So. I guess some people can do it, can't they? They can do that.
And every day. He is so noisy. I hope his noise in the background hasn't been too much too bad.
It's a little bit distracting for me, to be honest, a little bit. A little bit like shut up, shut up. I don't know why he's not going to bed.
Should be in bed by now, his age. When I was 10 months old, I was in bed by 11. I'm going to go now.
I'm going to go now. Bye bye bye, everybody. Bye everyone.
So I shall be back again tomorrow. Thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.
Be gentle with yourself. Lots of love. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch goes the bone.
See you. Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.