#948 Morning shower Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (5th January 2023)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yep, it's that time again. My name is Jason Newland.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and my website is jasonnewland.com.

So I'm sitting here at my desk little Vinnie is asleep at my feet or he's literally just he's got up out of his bed and followed me and laid down at my feet so he seems to be going yeah he's got his eyes closed so he wants to be near me which is a good sign it's weird he if okay I should recap for those that don't know or haven't listened for a little while I've got a little dog called Vinnie he's a Jack Russell miniature and he's an actual he's an actual breed apparently his

father was an award-winning dog and so he was born I've seen pictures of his dad and his mum so he's got exactly the same face as his dad like a red face the thing is the rest of his body's red as well his dad didn't have that so he's completely red apart from his feet and his tummy or his chest area which is white like his mum so he's yeah he's got his mum's chest and feet I guess because she was like white quite kind of yeah quite a lot of white on her but his

face is almost identical to his dad honestly it's ridiculous and I saw him as a baby I saw pictures of him as a baby before he'd even got his eyes open and he was just a little crumple just a little blob so I've had him for I think in two days time it'll be a whole month goes so quickly doesn't it so it'll be a month and the he basically he was bred lived with the breeder for the first three months I suppose however long it is before they can be released be released and he

had his bits cut off he had you know he had injections all the kinds of stuff that breeders do and then he had his first home which is officially I guess his second home but his first forever home as people like to say and she became ill or she wasn't well enough to look after him so it went he came back to the breeder excuse me and so what the breeder did is he had her for a but the breeder looked after him for about three months while they found someone else I think she was

going to keep him but he was a bit too much for her in the sense that she wasn't at home enough because she was working and she couldn't really be there for him so she had to find someone else to look after him to have him and then and I ended up with him so really on his fourth home and he does even now he still he doesn't know where he is he knows where he is but he doesn't know I don't think he's secure yet emotionally emotionally he's he's got anxiety and you know all

I can do is give him lots of love I take him out for lots and lots of walks and he sleeps on my bed at night now generally he's just he's very nervous yesterday two two days in a row he's acted a bit strange so he loves the dog downstairs and they played together he came up yesterday and I realized that Vili wasn't around he's like disappeared he'd been running around and playing and then suddenly he wasn't there it turned out he was hiding behind the settee I was looking for him and he came out

of the settee my friend said yeah he was behind the settee I don't know how he got behind there and he was shaking so I picked him up gave him a cuddle like what's going on and then today a similar thing happened this afternoon or late morning the same thing he was happy playing around again disappeared like where's he gone I look uh I'm thinking maybe he's behind the settee again maybe well he wasn't actually I went into the bedroom he wasn't in the bedroom and I go to the front door and he's at the

front door shaking like cowering so I what's so I pick him up give him a big cuddle and you know reassure him if it's okay you know my friend said maybe he's done a wee somewhere and he's been punished in the past and he was scared and like I don't care if he does a wee if he needs to go to the toilet just let me know I'll take him out and he does if he has an accident really don't care you know it's we all have accidents I've had accidents I'm having one now I

can't even go to the toilet I'm just weeing myself it's brilliant no but it's like as long as he doesn't do it on the bed really I don't really want him to do it on the bed and I don't want him I don't want to wake up to like a big shower of you know I mean that would be a little bit over the top and but he wakes me up in the morning when it's time for him to go for a walk when it's when he needs a toilet so that's what I do every

day every morning regardless of what time it is if he's if I wake up to him crawling all over me licking my face I know he needs to go out either that or he's hungry and he's just checking to see if I'm still alive so he'll maybe start eating me I hope not so I take my stomach tablet I do a wee wee of my own and then I take him out that's it that's the routine so I take him for a walk a nice walk and he goes to the toilet if he needs to

he always does and that's it but I don't know why he was shaking that was a little bit if no one was telling him off or anything he just I don't understand I don't know if he thinks he's going to be taken away if someone comes in here is someone going to take him away from me maybe that's what he's used to you know he's when someone comes into his home he gets taken out of the home and goes somewhere else maybe he's he's got that he's worried that he's going to be taken somewhere new

I don't know I'm sure it's not like a logical thing in his head but he definitely was upset until I picked him up and gave a big cuddle and just hugged him for you know 10 minutes and he was okay after that even when I left him outside I went to the petrol station and this was yes no this was earlier today so I got some milk and some bits because I had to go back again a couple of hours ago because I forgot something and so I tied him up outside just with the lead

didn't tie him up but he was you know just had a little bit of a loose lead and I wasn't in there for more than two minutes he was howling well like really like making quite a lot of noise he could see me through the window and I was banging on the window like it's okay I come outside he's shaking and he's jumping up at me like he wanted to what he like he needed a cuddle so he doesn't do that very often because quite often if I go to pick him up he runs away

as it like makes it into a game but he actually seemed to want a hug so I picked him up gave him a big hug he stopped shaking it's like it's okay I'm here I've not like I was leaving him so I think he's got a bit of um what do they call it anxiety thing for being left alone or uh yeah that stuff I know the term I'm thinking of but I can't remember the term uh you know you know the thing so he might have that um because he's lived with I mean you

know just to start with there must be a degree of anxiety for puppies when they leave their original home you know they're born they're with their well usually with the mother maybe not with the father but with the mother and then they're with their brothers and sisters and then the first humans they have is the the breeder maybe the breeders family and then you know once they're old enough and they're then moved on to a completely new home so that must be very disruptive emotionally for a puppy but then to get attached to attachment anxiety

then he gets attached to a new person for a few months and then gets taken away from her and he gets attached to another female and gets taken away from her and he's with her for three months so I'm kind of he's eating some plastic lovely so I guess I'm thinking maybe he thinks that he's drawn the short straw with me because I'm like this boring old man compared to before before he came here he was with a woman and who had a kid so there was a lot more energy you know there was a

lot more playing and more people around and there was lots of visitors because she's got family and stuff coming and visiting so he was he had a much more activity much more stimulation I mean you can imagine what it's like with me this this is as stimulating as it gets although sometimes when I talk to him he falls asleep you know I'll actually just look at him and I'll talk to him softly and he falls asleep so I bore him to sleep sometimes the other day I was uh he was I don't know if he

was begging for a treat or something and I was I was busy doing something on the laptop so I just started talking to him and said okay you can calm down you can relax now just calm down just let go of that stress it's all fine and I was doing that and he got into his bed and he just went to sleep so I just bored him my superpower being boring weird superpower I know but you know he's I'm kind of a bit concerned about him however I don't know if I could do any more

than what I'm doing you know I'm with him way too much really I mean I'm not doing myself any favours by spending all my time with him because it's going to get harder to leave him on his own for any length of time without him howling the place down and the plan was to sort of leave him for at least two hours a day I'll go off and do other things but I've kind of had him during the Christmas period when there wasn't anything else to do or anywhere else to go no buses no trains

trains we don't strike quite a bit and then everything closed over Christmas and you know it's it kind of yeah hasn't gone to plan I do still leave him up here I go out I still do stuff but not much I mean he's with me pretty much the whole time although he doesn't always follow me he follows what's he doing now he does follow me around quite a bit but sometimes he's happy just to be sort of asleep on the bed or asleep in his in his bed so sleep on my bed or should I

say our bed now it's both of our beds or asleep in his bed but I can't fit in his bed I've tried I can't do it even when I curl up I can't I don't know what he's doing he's doing something you never really know what he's up to he's always he's on high alert the whole time when we go for a walk he's just always my friend calls him radar because his ear sticks up and he's like always always alert and aware of every sound and every movement if someone comes out their front door

he tries to get inside their house he wants to greet everybody he wants to say hello to everybody he wants to say hello to every single dog and he wants to chase every cat I don't know what the cat thing is I mean really it's a cliche isn't it dogs chase cats but he's not been taught to chase cats he's just got it in him but he comes from a breed that's been bred to chase foxes and that was that was what he was originally not him but his original breed was from the uh it

was actually a bloke I think it was a bloke called Jack Russell it was actually it's a he was a priest or something in England and he bred two dogs two different dogs together to make this specific breed that would you know to help with the foxes so yeah it's uh he won't be doing that it's ironic because he looks like a fox which I think is quite unusual for uh for I mean I think he looks like Basil Brush I really do but he's he's he's kind of happy it's kind of happy because I

bought him a little bone today I mean it's it's it's a big bone for him but it's because he's only little and it's it's not a proper bone it's one of those ones that it can chew on and I don't know what it's made of if I'm honest now he's grabbing something I hope it's not attached to the electric no it can't be it's on the floor though that's not good wires on the floor you don't really shouldn't really be doing that I don't know what that is this stuff blimey what is this what is

this what is this wow I wonder if this will work so I've got these headphones and I've got a connector and the whole idea was because these headphones now this connector might come with the headphones because the headphones are really good the ones I'm wearing them now so when I do recording they're very comfortable and a good quality so I can hear what I'm saying as I say it as opposed to 10 minutes later now when I use my laptop which is over there on the other table and I'm doing editing I want to be

able to use my headphones there's a couple of reasons for that first of all it's a better sound I can hear better what I'm doing secondly if he barks during a recording and I play it back on loudspeakers he starts barking again so it's quite hard to edit with him barking in the background if you know I mean like twice I've just found on the floor an adapter which looks like this to be fair it must be for microphone there's nothing else it could be for maybe that came with this microphone I didn't even know

because I bought a couple of adapters a couple of weeks ago not just cheap old things but just but you're supposed to put in one and you know then it makes it smaller but what happened is they gave me the wrong ones well I ordered the wrong ones so it's actually a small headphones did I say microphone headphones a small headphone connection to make the connector bigger because on this recording studio well on the headphones it's a big connector and that's what I need for this studio but I need to make it smaller to go

into the laptop wow now that was that was both boring and complicated hmm so what's the microphone just the microphone just moved on its own I'm a bit tired I am actually a little bit tired it's a bit to be fair it's late it is 22.

09 here's something mildly interesting so I've been talking for 23 minutes and in that time my iPad has charged 25% now 26% that's pretty good isn't it considering it lasts for quite some time once it's fully charged oh come on that's interesting isn't it come on come on man that's interesting I don't know what he's doing now he's just sitting but he's sitting on my foot but he's looking he's looking around but I don't know what he's looking at he's focused very focused on something I think is a good sign that he likes to touch

me so you know when he's sitting down he likes to or when he's laying down on the bed he likes to be pressed against even if it's my foot or my leg sometimes my back he likes to be sort of touching me which I think is a positive sign that he's feeling connected to me attached to me I don't know what the right words are but he's a good boy but he's looking at me now so once unfortunately if I get his attention he might start whining wanting something wanting to go out or wanting a

treat or something like that I like it when he's quiet it doesn't happen that often it's normally only when he's asleep he's quiet although he does snore he does he snores he's noticing something there's something that he's noticing I don't know what it is I hope he hasn't seen a mouse or anything like that mind you he's the perfect dog for that I need to tidy this place up there's some stuff I need to do get this tidy I'm thinking and I realize you can't see the room so it's not going to make that much

sense but I've got two gaming desks I don't I'm not a gamer but I thought they'd be quite good as office desks and they're both parallel to each other so you know if there was another person at the other desk I'd be facing them we know what parallel means I'm just trying to explain it I wasn't sure if I got the right the right term so what I'm thinking of doing is and I've also got another table in the middle like to the side of them and that's where I've been using my laptop I'm thinking

of moving that over to the other side which would be facing away from the television which isn't a huge issue because I don't really watch television when I'm on the laptop anyway because I'm busy editing and I can't can't do two things at once I might listen to some music or something like that on the tv and a Spotify or something or a podcast or maybe so he started again what's wrong mate and he once he starts he doesn't stop I'm not quite sure what he wants let me see what he wants if I can

do something all right I just pressed pause there for a second it looked like he was trying to get at a bone and the bone was caught up in some wires so I just pulled the table out got the bone out gave it to him and now he's chewing on it so I think that must have been it problem sorted I'm so pleased with myself yes now he's being noisy all right let's have a look no I can't tell you about the stats you don't want to hear about the stats do you oh you do

oh okay then it's been quite a good year so far I know it's very early days it's only the 5th of January but in the last 30 days I've had 340 000 downloads but in the last this month this month current month I've had 70 000 downloads in five days which is pretty good really I mean it's you know it's rare that I get under 10 000 a day now anyway but still considering I didn't make any new recordings until yesterday so Monday the 1st of this January I had just 14 and a half thousand

2nd of January 12 000 the 3rd of January 10 000 or just under 10 000 Wednesday yesterday just under 17 000 and today so far 16 and a half thousand still three hours left until the end of the day because it stops at one o'clock in the morning I say that every time don't I it's like well just because I just said it's 10 o'clock well it finishes the day finishes in two hours doesn't it no because I don't know why but the stats go to one o'clock I'm not sure why you don't know well

let's see if there's any any messages on Facebook I can read out oh unavailable new to the group x-ray I don't know who x-ray is pending memberships no pending membership questions I didn't know there was a membership question this is my Jason Newland hypnotist group community home I did post a happy new year and it's a little bit late to be fair I post yeah six hours ago happy new year to you all sorry it's a bit late been a bit unwell for a few days anyway hope you're all groovy and have a fab 2023

thanks for listening x x x so yeah cool so five comments take care Jason Newland hypnotist Jason Newland that's from kissy glad you're feeling better from thank you thank you Sky says get some rest there's a picture of a dog oh Deb says feel bad glad I have your voice to help me sleep thanks thank you Deb and Diana says happy new year Jason thank you so I was going to like that one and like that one so yeah cool thank you very much everybody yeah I'm okay I just uh I don't know why I

feel I need to explain like why I've not made a recording but I do a little bit sometimes just um because you know people tell me that they almost sort of rely a little bit on the recordings and I'm just sometimes feel oh like I'm letting people down you know if I perhaps don't make a recording for a little while but even though oh I've got another message never another comment on my youtube oh no it's just a new subscriber bells bell bellen blazing welcome if you're listening youtube studio which means I now have dun

dun dun are you ready for this 819 subscribers so it was 818 before that probably didn't need to mention that did I the fact that I've got one new subscriber yeah so so look oh so if I wanted to monetize youtube I need 1000 subscribers so I need a 100 and um 100 191 81 so uh yeah 181 subscribers and public watch hours I've got 988 out of 4000 required so that's not I think the problem I did is because I deleted all my most of my videos apart from one a couple of months back

all those public watch hours disappeared so you know I still had uh I lost quite a few subscribers as well I lost 50 odd subscribers when I deleted all my videos kind of makes sense I mean why would you subscribe to a channel that has no videos but there are now I've got 138 videos now on my youtube channel now quite a few of them are scheduled scheduled to be released all the way up to the 22nd of January but quite a few of them are available so out of 138 at least a hundred are

available already to watch so that's cool so what was I going to say I'll tell you what I do quite like about this what I quite like when it comes oh he stopped doing a bow now he's gone back to his other bone the new one he's got which isn't an actual bone it's it's shaped like a bone but it's I don't know if you've got a dog you probably know what I mean it's uh it's almost kind of like a bow I don't know what the material is that's made of I'm not sure one

podcast that surprises me considering I haven't made a new one since I don't know when is the deep sleep whisper hypnosis all right today I've had nearly 3 000 downloads on that podcast and I haven't made a new recording since the 30th of December so it's what six days six days nearly a week since I made a new recording and I've got nearly 3 000 downloads today it's like wow that's just I just think it's amazing it's to me it's just like wow I don't I don't get it I don't understand the uh hypnosis of

stress and anxiety over 6 000 downloads on that podcast today so far 3 000 on the hypnosis for sleeping deeply I've never got the other thing because that's that doesn't add up to the amount oh yeah relaxes yeah this is weird relaxes sleep hypnosis daily I've had nearly a thousand downloads of that one I've not made a new one there for ages and ages ages and ages and ages stop smoking that's been good today chronic pain has that been any good it's been all right uh it all adds up doesn't it oh let me boil

the sleep so I had over a thousand yesterday today so far 650 so it all depends on what time I upload the videos really the videos the podcasts by the time I finish this recording by the time it's edited uploaded and all that stuff it's going to be midnight so yeah I'll be releasing the first one midnight second one one o'clock second one two o'clock second one three o'clock so the one without music the one with music the one at five hours and one ten hours so what was that midnight one two three okay so

yeah it should be all right although I like to very tired I'm ready to go to bed so I like to have a break when I finish the recording I like just to have a break sit down maybe watch tv for half an hour you know something like that and then do some editing and then you know but when it gets late at night I know this isn't late you know it's like not even half past 10 but for me at my elderly age half past 10 considering that I'm usually awake by six in the

morning you know it's fairly late he wakes me up when he needs to go out and you know the way I see it I'm lucky that he does that you know he's it definitely saves me clearing up a mess so he's a very he's a very clean dog he's a good boy although I'm kind of thinking that there might be some well I'm going to look behind the settee the sofa and see what he's been up to behind there I don't care what it is he's been up to I mean if he's it's just if

he has been having an accident then I just need to become a bit more sensitive to what he needs a bit more aware of what he needs I'm doing my best okay I'm I'm putting effort in three percent effort I'm putting at least three percent of my effort in so you know that that's something isn't it it's not as good as seven percent but still something better than two percent innit hey hey hey so yeah what uh oh blimey oh dear oh I really am yawning I do apologize if your yawning is causing problems for

anyone but I'm just so tired so t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tired yeah so so that's there must be I'm just looking at sort of when it's all spread out quite evenly so to have 16 and a half thousand already it's spread out so it's not one particular podcast that's doing whatever it's the hypnosis for stress and anxiety that one is right up there at the moment it's six thousand yesterday I had six thousand as well a few days ago I had nearly four thousand but then yesterday I had nearly five thousand on the hypnosis for sleeping deeply and three

thousand a day so yeah just it variates it really do variate the other day I had nearly five thousand on the deep sleep whisper hypnosis podcast three thousand today and you might think well that's that's all right it's okay well you're making a big deal about it well I'm not making a big deal about it but on a normal day a normal month let's say okay let's say the last 12 months oh no so September 27,000 26,000 in October November 35,000 December 52,000 so it's grown you know sort of gone up but then August it

was 48,000 so I suppose it fluctuates I guess yeah so you're averaging like probably 10,000 a day but this month has been a lot more or you know last month and the beginning of this month but then February last last year there was 61,500 March last year was 64,000 so yeah it goes up and goes down just depends it's all dependent you know I mean all dependent upon dependency it's just like the stats for this podcast to let me bore you to sleep and I know that some people will be listening on other podcasts but

the actual this the sole podcast just for this podcast can I say the word podcast any more times it fluctuates it really does you know I've had 15,500 down those last month but then November 18,500 October 23,500 so basically what that tells you is it's going down in popularity but in September it was 14,500 so October it went up quite a bit and last May it was 17 18,000 and it went up to 25 and a half so it fluctuates fluctuates over the last year there's 223,000 downloads of this podcast 619 altogether in four years

nearly five years which shows this last year has been a lot better than the year before yeah it's weird I can't believe I've been doing this for so long this picture I got I saw a picture of me the other day mind you I was only seven so that's not relative to this not related to this but it's a picture I'd like to see I don't know if I mentioned I visited my parents or my dad and his my step-mom in March last year I think it was might have been April and basically they had

I hadn't seen them for over two years because of the thing that happened in 2020 and 21 and I hadn't seen him for two years spoken to him on the phone and stuff but hadn't seen him in person and I think the last time I saw them before that was New Year's Eve 2019 yeah New Year's Eve 2019 and then 2020 well I think my dad grew a beard and then 2021 everything was weird wasn't it so for those two years and then 2022 I saw them at the beginning of you know sort of April

time last year and they had these presents it was where they put together photo albums of they've done one for each of us each of the kids all the kids my two older brothers as well they haven't been around for quite a while also my little brother and my step-brother and step-sister so we all had photo albums which was pictures of us as kids and growing up you know all the way up to recent years so there's a picture of me as a tiny kid I think maybe in a pram and I did go through

the photo album I think during one of my podcasts last year and that was a really nice thought it was weird though not the thought but looking through the photographs was strange because there were certain things that were missing and I understand why they weren't in there but considering I grew up from the age of 7 to the 16 with a stepmother who was my as far as I was concerned was my mum she wasn't in any photographs there wasn't one picture of her there's also no pictures of my original mother which again is understandable

from my dad's perspective he probably doesn't even have any but I'd have thought there'd be some of my step-mom because all the Christmases were together all that stuff but again I understand why he wouldn't want to be you know want to look at pictures of that those kind of pictures and stuff it was only afterwards I was looking and thinking there's something missing here and that was what it was there was there was a lot of pictures that I mean it's only so he's the thing he my dad obviously doesn't have all the photographs and

also my nan used to have a lot of photographs of us and I think and I think one of my I think my aunt might have took the photographs not took them but just you know like has them not I don't mean stolen them but you know she she kind of has the photographs because my nan on her where the last place that she lived was a residential wasn't a residential home but it was sheltered accommodation so there was there was like a lobby area where they did games and played stuff and did yoga and

I don't know all kinds of things like that I think that it's television but each person had their own flat individual flat but they also had cords and they got checked on every day by the warden warden is probably not proper a good word isn't it a good name sounds more like a prison doesn't it or hospital but the lady was lovely who who was there and I think they used to have someone there 24 hours a day and then they cut back and it was only like during the day and I might have made

that bit up and did yeah so I was thinking it was quite a horrible story but I won't tell you that the her flat was really nice she didn't like it because she lived in her own home like three-bedroom house big kitchen big living room garden all that stuff so she'd moved from there into this very limited place with a living room wasn't particularly big it was okay but a little kitchen a small bathroom small bedroom you know everything was a lot smaller than what she was used to so she didn't she didn't like it

she you know because but she didn't you know she didn't have other any really other choice because of her mobility she needed support and yeah so she was in the best place but it's hard isn't it because easy for someone else to say that but you know someone could say to me well you need to live you need to live here now that's where you're going to live because better for you you know let's say my back didn't heal up properly well you've got to be on the ground floor now but I want to live

on the ground floor I like being up away from I hear too much traffic when I'm on the ground floor and I hear the front door being slammed every time and it shakes my my room shakes my my flat but upstairs I don't hear it so much nope that's where you gotta that's where you gotta be there now you know it's got no choice it's good for you so it's yeah I need to shut up really I really you know my nan didn't want to be there but it was it's that's where she was anyway

so I would have quite liked to live there myself it was quite cool it was a nice it's a nice it wouldn't have suited me really I mean I do like being around old people I probably would have ended up being like a carer like an unpaid carer just looking out for everyone because I like to kind of I like to be in everyone's business no that sounds wrong doesn't it no but I it's a bit too small because I've got a yeah this room my living room is probably the size of her living room

and her kitchen put all together I mean yeah width wise probably no length wise width wise it's probably not a lot of difference but it's hard I can I can visualize it but it's a long time long time ago since I was there 2014 December was the last time that I visited that place where she lived so that's eight years eight years wow eight years it isn't it eight years that's ridiculous anyway I what am I mentioning this for where was I going with this there was a reason there was a reason why I was

mentioning her flat how did I get to this point in the conversation so I was talking about so I imagine there's some people listening thinking we don't care just please don't go back to talking about stats again we don't want to hear about statistics well I went from statistics to talking about my nan but I wasn't talking about my nan I was talking about him down there I wonder what it was so does anybody know anybody anybody anyone for anyone is there anybody there I don't know oh yeah my budgie I had this budgie and

no I had oh photograph albums that's it how did I get from budgie to photograph albums I don't know but my brain quickly switched back to the photograph albums once I visualized the budgie strange I don't know what that is maybe because I was thinking of the budgie being in the old house that we used to live and then that reminded me in very fast action in my brain the house the people oh photo album because that was kind of what I was focusing on is the people that were missing two really my my step

mum or my first not step mum whatever you call it and her mum who was my nan so both of those not in any pictures and yeah it was just a bit weird but I was just thinking what pictures would I actually like to see what would I like to see from my childhood what photographs would I really like to see that I don't have any of maybe that there are none I think I'd like to see a picture of my mother my biological mother maybe a picture of her holding me because she had me

for I think six months so and then she gave birth no I was I think I was premature not the first time I've kept that going and I'd like to see a picture of my biological my mother's side grandparents because I don't know what they look like I am I don't I know that my granddad isn't around he was gone before I was even born but whether or not I mean realistically I'm guessing that if her mother my grandmother of my other grandmother was still around she'd be in her late 90s if not early 100s

so the chances are she's not around anymore either because there wasn't a there wasn't a big difference in age between my dad and my mum there was like maybe a year or two difference in their ages I think they were both teenagers when they got together late teenagers and yeah I think he was like 18 and she was 17 or something like that and so back in those days it was normal it was just the standard thing to have kids quite early you know in during the the like post-war period the baby bloom period which

my dad was part of the baby baby bloomer is that what they call it the baby bloomers something like that the baby boosters so that'd be interesting uh I'd like I don't yeah I'd like to see pictures of if I've got any family that I don't know about so for example cousins although I don't really have any contact with generally my cousins anymore it's just the way it is but I did I've had very little contact with my cousins generally like my first cousins apart from when I was a kid and but then as I

got older I did sort of started to get on really well with one of my cousins who I've known since I was you know seven or whatever and she's brilliant but I haven't seen her for eight years nearly and she was yeah I hopefully I will see her and also get on really well with her mum my auntie she's she's brilliant so it's it's just the way it is isn't it it's like you just they live in a different part of the country so I don't see them but I might have brothers and sisters that

I don't know about you know my biological mother might have gone and had had kids she was still quite young I don't know she might have had more kids so I might have I mean I could have a brother and sisters that are in their like 40s it's a bit weird isn't it it's like wow I could have like middle-aged brothers and sisters so that would be interesting I might I mean I'm not saying this like cavalier or or just off the cuff but I might have a child out there I might have a have

a son or daughter out there in the world somewhere there's it's at least one very good chance actually but I never saw the person again so I don't know so there's that's the possibilities I'd like to not necessarily see a picture of I'd like to meet if I've got a child I'd like to meet them yeah but again that that person would be well 25 now let me work it out five eight six two thousand six two thousand sixteen seven eighty nine twenty twenty one twenty two so yeah 20 26 years old that that child

would be makes me feel really old but yeah I still don't I don't know and I've got no clue I did think I might have been a father before there's this ex-girlfriend of mine and we were together in 1991 this is a different person from what I'm talking about but 1991 we were together like in a relationship and then we split up and then we got together briefly in 1993 and she said she thought she might be pregnant and then I never heard from her again and those were the days with 40 internet I tried

to get in contact with her I put about four percent effort in and I think I phoned where she worked she worked in hospital I phoned there constantly for about two minutes and then yeah I just gave up but the thing is she knew where I was I was still in the same address that I was before still had the same telephone number as before you know so I hadn't gone anywhere she she knew where I was and for the next year I was still living in that address and then I did move out but

you know there was just didn't hear anything from her because she used to phone me you know that's how we kept in contact there was no other way of being in contact other than like letters and stuff like that because she'd moved away to I've got no idea where it was but it was out of London quite a long way away from London so I don't know how we kept in contact must have been letters and phone calls I didn't have any mobile phones then there was no internet no email no text messaging no Facebook

none of that stuff it was all landlines or letters like on pieces of paper it's very very retro but yeah I remember her saying to me oh I think I might be pregnant and okay and then I didn't hear from her again I didn't didn't hear anything and uh okay there's actually an end to this story she contacted me on Facebook probably about five years ago six years ago and I said she said is that is that whoever I said yeah it's me I said how are you doing I said I'm all right and I

asked her but I just just blurted it out I didn't I didn't speak to a person to person but I just you know we did a messaging and I just said to her look just tell me it's were you you know because she said she had three kids and I said how old are they and then she told me in if you listen back to the podcast where I actually tell this story it's a bit more blatant than the way I'm telling it now I don't think he's actually drinking I think he's he's can you

hear him I think he's just flicking his tongue in and out of the water just for effect he just shook his shook himself and then he shook his bum as well like a separator I'm falling in love with a little monkey it's terrible but he's so aggressive sometimes there's certain things he doesn't like he doesn't like being laid on his back unless he's already laying on his back so if I hold him and I hold him backwards he doesn't like it now really I get I just kind of realized earlier that I should just not

do that to him but I'm not doing it in a horrible way I'm doing it in a cuddly way he's coming he just sat down next to me just in front of my just next basically sat on my foot nearly he's just sitting there he knows he's he's going to be going for a walk in a minute we have to go for a walk before the street lights go out won't we yeah yeah okay we'll go in a second when I finish this give me five minutes and then we'll go for a walk okay okay

you are a good boy aren't you yes you are I also know when um he wants to go out generally or it's one of two things if he sits there and lets me stroke him I don't mean like in a strokey way but if he's well I do mean in a strokey way but if he kind of wants my attention he lets me touch him lets me stroke him or pet him that means he wants something either a treat or he wants to go for a walk if he wants to play what he'll do is

he'll pull back and then run away from me and he'll come forward again like teasing me teasing me with a hope of affection okay I'm gonna go then he wants my attention so okay take care of yourselves and I shall speak to you tomorrow lots of love bye