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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and my website is jasonnewland.com. Oh yes, is it really? Yes it is. So I haven't actually made a Let Me Bore You To Sleep for a little while.
I haven't made a video Let Me Bore You To Sleep for ages and aggies and aggies. But here I am and I've got a thousand lights on me making me look pretty. And here I am.
So I've got a microphone recording my podcast. This is a podcast basically, a video of a podcast. So what's the latest you may ask? You can ask.
I'm not sure I'm going to tell you. No. Still don't know how to operate the camera.
Not really. Not really still. I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on.
So I've been coughing a bit and a bit chesty today and yesterday. So I think this is part of the weather, the changes in the weather. It's cold and blah, blah, blah.
So yeah, everything's all right. I had a weird day today. I won't bore you with it, but I went to court.
Not for me, but I was supporting someone that went to court today. And it's quite interesting how many people are involved in the process. I counted 11 people in there, plus me and plus my friend.
So, you know, 13 people, but 11 people all doing something, typing something on their laptops. Not quite sure who they were. I know who three of them were.
Three, four, five, I think six of them were. Three of them were kind of the judges. One was from a social service department, a department particular thing.
So I knew where she was from because she said it. And not social services, but she was part of an organisation. And the other two people was solicitors.
One was the defence and one was the offence, I don't know, whatever. But what were the rest of the people in there for? What were they doing? It seemed to me like they were just going in there and using the desk space to catch up on their homework or something. Maybe.
Maybe they were playing video games. Couldn't quite see all the screens, but yeah, it was kind of strange, very unusual place. And I've only been to court, this is my second time that I've actually been in a court in my life.
I've been at a court when I was a small child, but I didn't go inside the actual courtroom. So yeah, it was kind of weird, seen on TV, nothing like it is on TV. But the reason because on TV, it's all drama.
We don't, I think in America, you get like live broadcasts of court cases. Although they did start doing that here recently, but it's generally not a thing. We still have, say, if it's a big criminal case, and it's in the papers and it's on the news, they'll still have drawings of the accused or the person that's just been sentenced.
No photographs, no film footage, or maybe film footage of them leaving the court with a coat over their head. And then we just walk out like it's always covered themselves up. Even though the picture's been put all around, everyone knows what they look like, because it's been shared on the newspapers.
So we're, yeah, we don't have, it's just different, different system, I guess. But we still seem to have that like drawings of people, the court artist. So you know, in olden times, they had the court jester, we have the court artist.
Hubba da hubba da hubba. So yeah, not a lot going on. Not felt particularly well the last week.
So that's why I've not really done much. As far as new recordings, it's, you know, it's just, it's hard to do. If you're not, if you're a little bit under the weather, you don't want to do stuff, do you? It's normal.
But I will be, and I plan, or you plan to be doing more recordings over the coming month. It's the 1st of December today. I'm going to wag on my finger at that.
1st of December, 2022. 1st of the month, kiss and a hump. What's the rhyme? Bump, pinch and a pinch.
Pinch and a bump, 1st of the month. I forget. This would be a thing we used to say to kids, each other, when we was kids.
Pinch and a punch for the 1st of the month, something like that. So you pinch someone and go, pinch and a punch for the 1st of the month. Teachers hated it.
Get off me, Newland. So yeah, today's been weird. However, got through it.
Got back by about half one, apparently. And then I had some chips. From the chip van.
And about an hour later, I went to bed. I was exhausted. It was weird, because I sleep quite well, generally.
I don't have a huge problem getting to sleep, which is good, considering I make sleep sessions. I'm fine. I can sleep during the day.
I can sleep any time. Not always, but generally. I don't always have huge amounts of sleep.
I sleep a bit like a ferret. Intense sleep, and then up again. I don't know what it is.
You're not nocturnal, but you're not the opposite. It's all over the place a little bit. But getting to sleep is not difficult, generally.
However, last night, blimey, I was tossing and turning and turning and a bit more tossing. And I was just like, what's going on? But I guess I was worried. I was concerned and worried about today.
And there's something weird about knowing that I had to be up at a certain time. Bearing in mind, I'm pretty much always up by six in the morning, sometimes four. I'm always up early, every day now.
Always up early. If I sleep till seven, it's very, very rare. And I go to bed early as well.
It's eight o'clock in the evening. Sometimes I'm in bed by eight, often by 10. It's rare that I go to bed after 11.
So it's just the way it is at the moment. I go through periods. A couple of years ago, I was up all night for years, and I'd sleep during the day.
So it's just a case of, I go through patterns, and this is the particular pattern I'm going through at the moment, which is fine. I'm okay. I like going to bed early, especially in the winter.
Listening to the radio, or listening to an audio book. Maybe even listen to Spotify. Perhaps listening to a podcast.
It's nice. Sometimes I'll listen, and I'll turn it off. I'll go to sleep, and I'll wake up, and I'm like, what's this rubbish I'm listening to? And I turn it off.
Other times, I just leave it on. Last night, I listened to Jimmy Carr's new audio book. It's on Audible.
It's good. If you don't know who Jimmy Carr is, he's a famous comedian in the UK. He's known in America as well.
But he's a stand-up comedian, but he also hosts comedy shows, and panel shows, and things like that. And he's very successful. But what a lot of people don't know about him is that he is very deeply involved.
I say deeply involved, but he's very much... You could call him, if he wanted to be, and maybe he's looking to go in that direction, he could be a very, very successful motivational speaker. He's been studying this stuff since before I met him. Before I knew him, I used to know him a little bit back in comedy days when I was involved in a comedy club.
And he was an NLP practitioner, and I was an NLP practitioner. I'd just done mine. He'd done his a few years earlier, I think.
So he was a psychotherapist. And then he moved into doing stand-up. Now, he doesn't mention that in his audiobook.
He doesn't talk about that stuff. He talks about leaving the oil company, but he doesn't talk about the NLP, doesn't talk about all of the stuff, all of the work he's done on himself. I've seen interviews where he's talked about it, but generally it's not something he really makes public.
And this man knows a hell of a lot about self-development and all that stuff. Yeah. All the Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, all those people.
Jimmy Carr knows that stuff very, very well. I remember, he wouldn't even know me. If he walked past me in the street, he wouldn't recognize me.
It's been years since I saw him, like 20 years. And the thing about it is, I saw him at Tony Robbins. This is about 2005, maybe 2006.
And it was at a Tony Robbins convention in London. And there was about 10,000 people there. And Antony Robbins was doing his thing, like, say I, if you live in, say I, you know, he's really, the energy of that man is phenomenal.
Absolutely phenomenal. He's so much energy. So I went to that, it was a three day seminar thing.
And, you know, change your life and I don't know, whatever it was called. I got given free tickets from a friend of mine. So I went along and it's weird because I saw Jimmy Carr walking up the aisle.
So he was, he'd obviously purchased tickets as well. And he was, he was there maybe with friends or whatever, but he was there as well. And this was, he was famous at this.
He was on TV. He was already famous. Some would say, well, why would you need to go to a self-development, self-improvement seminar? You're already successful.
You, you know, you're in charge of a hit television show. You've got sellout concerts, stand-up concerts around the country. Some would say that, like, well, why do you do it? The thing is, that's why he's so successful because he keeps learning.
He keeps growing as a person. And I don't want to come all over as some kind of fan boy, but you know, he's, he's, I think I just have actually, I think probably have come across as a bit of a fan boy. I come a fan boy.
I'm not a fan boy, but he lent me some NLP tapes and it was Tad James. He's a very, he's passed away now, but he was a very famous NLP man. And he started his own therapy called Timeline Therapy.
I probably got a book behind me. I won't turn around because you'll see my bald patch if I do that. You want to see my bald patch? Okay.
Yeah. Why not? Oh, wait a minute. I don't want you to see my bald patch.
Timeline Therapy. Where is it? It's going to be in the NLP section, which is here. That's weird.
Timeline Therapy. Tad James, where are you? I can't find it. I do have a Tad James book up here though.
The hypnosis one from Tad James. It's... God, blimey. Where is it? Oh, don't worry about it.
There is some Tad James. I've got, I think I've got two books by Tad James. Oh, I know.
It's a white book. I should better find it now, now that I remember the colour of it. It's a hardback white book.
Tad James, where are you? There it is. That's one of his books. I first got this one back about 1998, I think.
Is it Tad James, Hypnosis, a Comprehensive Guide, Producing Deep Trance Phenomena. I love the smell of books. So that's that book.
If you see Tad James at the bottom. He's got a few books. Where are they? He did another book, Timeline.
Timeline Therapy, I think it is. That's bugged me now. Sorry, I'm going to have to check.
Timeline Therapy, where are you? NLP. Nope. Nope.
Can't find it. I do have it. I don't know where it is.
They're basically right behind me. I've got hypnosis books, and then I've got some NLP books. It's mainly hypnosis, NLP.
There's some counselling therapy books as well. But I've got, I don't know, a couple of hundred books behind me. And My Pride and Joy, The Youth.
I've got another bookcase over there. And there's, they're more like fiction storybooks. And I've got some religious books, Buddhism mainly.
And there is the Gideon's New Testament, which are very fond memories of the Gideon's New Testament. I remember when I first got one. And, you know, I know religion is never one's thing, but it really made a difference in my life when my dad was ill.
Back in, when I was about 11, 12 years old, my dad had this growth on his neck. It was non-malignant, which you'd think, well, that's good. What's the problem? The problem was it was it was squeezing on his main artery.
So he had to have it removed. There's no way. And it was a really, really dangerous operation because of how, because of where it was.
And I just really, I needed some emotional support. And I got it from the New Testament. Not trying to convert anyone, because I'm actually, I'm a Buddhist, but I don't know if I'm anything anymore.
I've lost my way a little bit. But I just love the story of Jesus. And I think for a while I thought I was Jesus.
So that, I mean, really, I don't know. I mean, I've, maybe I've always had mental illness or mental health issues. Probably, you know, I've got bipolar now, personality disorder, apparently.
But when I was a kid, always had this, always had mood stuff and bipolar right from like a small age, tiny little kid, I've always had problems. I think I really believed that I was Jesus. I used to believe I could make myself invisible and attempted to walk through a wall once, once, only once, because it was in junior school.
We had this big wall, it was just a wall standing on its own. Very strange. Never seen anything ever before like that.
Just a wall on its own, very high. I used to like kicking a football against it, because for me, that was fun. Kicking a ball against the wall, the ball coming back and then be able to kick it back.
Or playing tennis that way, you know, hitting a ball against the wall and coming back. And when there's no other humans involved, I enjoyed myself. I just had more fun that way.
I could do that for hours, which is a bit weird, maybe. But then I got my punch bag thing. And it's, it's actually a punch ball.
I've not unpacked the punch bag yet, because I'm not sure where I'm going to put it. But the punch ball, every day, I can stand and punch that thing for like an hour at a time. I love it.
It's just so much fun. Just, I'm not even, I'm not punching hard. I'm just, just, it's just the movement, you know, just moving around.
I think it's really good for my back, because my back hasn't hurt really hardly at all since I got it. So it's the moving around, the stretching. And it's just nice to punch things.
It's fun. I always like punching. And I was talking to my friend and I said, it's not, it's not in one part aggressive, not one piece of it is aggressive.
So I'm not thinking of it as being a human being. I'm thinking of it as being what it is, a punch ball. When I hit a punch bag, I'm hitting a punch bag.
And I'm not visualising having a punch up with someone. I'm just playing. And it's fun.
And besides, I'm an old man. I'm a middle aged man now, you know, I'm not getting into punch ups of anyone. I'm old, fragile.
I'm crumbling, I'm crumbling. I love punching. And honestly, I've noticed I've had this ball for this punch ball.
I couldn't move it around to show it to you. But no, because then you'll see the rest of the room is a bit messy. It's just basically on a stand and it's the maybe I'll do a video of it sometime.
But maybe I'll do a YouTube short where I just title it old man tries to become a boxer or something like that. It's too late. I just have love again.
You know, but I love punching. Ever since I was a kid. And I don't do it anymore.
But to be fair, I used to do it as a it wasn't a good thing I used to do. I used to punch things and it was more self, whatever. I don't want to go into that.
But I love punching. That's what I realized that, you know, instead of punching things and hurting myself, punch a punch bag, get rid of some energy, get rid of, you know, it's a good exercise. It's actually good cardio, because if you keep doing anything, you do get your, your blood pumping and everything like that, your lungs working.
So it doesn't matter. It's like, well, it's not cardio if you just move around a little bit punching. Okay, well, you do that for an hour.
You do that and move around like that. You get knackered. And when you're knackered, it means that your lungs have really worked and your heart is pumped.
You don't have to run for that. That's a quicker way of getting there. But this is a more enjoyable way for me.
See, I can get on I've got an exercise bike in the bedroom, I could get on that and, but I can't stand cycling. I don't like it. And treadmill, I could do treadmills.
I like treadmills. But it's still boring. It's still a very boring activity.
Now punching is fun. It's just fun. I'm a big boxing fan.
So it's, even though I'm not pretending, I'm not like hitting a person, I just enjoy the physical activity of it. I have done since I was a kid. Because I had one of them.
When I was, it wasn't mine, actually, it was my dad's. But we had this, me and my two, well, there was three of us, but he was little. The third one was very little.
But we had a playroom upstairs. And my little brother, he used to go to the playroom, but he was tiny. He was like one, one years old or whatever, two years old.
And I don't know where it came from. But there was one of them. And it was stand up with like a little ball at the top.
I think it was made of leather. And there was a stand at the bottom, which you could like stand on, which meant that the thing always came back. It couldn't fall over, couldn't topple over.
And I used to practice on that. And it was my height, it was very, it wasn't very big, or kind of got it down to my height, because I was only about two foot tall, until I reached 30. And I used to really enjoy doing that.
But then the problem with where I lived is there was no boxing club. If there had been a boxing club, I think my dad would have been okay with me going. Because my granddad was a boxer.
My dad's dad. So my granddad was actually accomplished boxer in the army. So he won loads of medals and cups and stuff.
But he didn't box outside of the army. So he he served his time. I think he did 12 years before the Second World War.
So when the Second World War started, my granddad was 29 years old. So he left school, went in the army, and traveled the world and all that stuff. But he was a boxer.
So he did that. I don't know if he was a boxer at school, probably. In them days, I think you could learn boxing when he was at school.
And he was born in East London. So it's an area where I think they probably did have that. But he never, I don't think it was even a thought of turning professional.
And he was too old, probably anyway, at 29 to be sort of going professional. Although some people can do that nowadays, but back then, it wasn't really a thing. But it kept him fit all his life, until you know, he was not here anymore.
But he, my nan told me, to say he, my granddad used to do sit ups and press ups every morning when he got up. And so my nan told me, I didn't have a hidden camera in their bedroom or anything. So he used to do like press ups and sit ups, even up to the age of like 78 or whatever.
And he was fit, physically fit. And he was, he was slim. He was about my height, maybe a little bit taller, but he shrunk of age.
So he was probably about five, nine. And I'd say probably five, nine. And he was about 12 stone, 12 and a half stone, something like that.
So he was, you know what I mean, he wasn't, I guess he was a bit bigger when he was younger, but he was very slim. And he kept himself fit. So I think my granddad, if I sort of said to my granddad, oh, I want to go to a boxing club, I think he'd have been up for it.
Because he, you know, he loved boxing. Still, even when he was older. And he followed it.
And we used to, that's the only, one of the only conversations I ever had with him was about boxing. But he was a tough man, my granddad. I didn't realize he was very stoic, stoic, very stoic, very quiet.
I think a lot of that was to do with the training of being in the army for 12 years, where it wasn't just for 12 years, because then he had another four years or six years or whatever during the war. So in total, he was in 18 years in the army. And he was a prisoner of war.
So he, you know, all the stuff that went there. So he kind of was very, very inward. Very, very quiet man.
Didn't speak much at all. When people, when he did, people listened to that kind of person. And I'm the opposite.
I speak all the time. No one listens. It's very different.
But I'm chatty. But then my nan was really chatty. My nanny Newland, she was very chatty.
She was lovely, very friendly, looked at the positive, looked at the, tried to see the positive in the situations, tried to see the good in people. And I admired that in her, because anyone that's been through of that era, that age group, that she was 97 when she, when she left, and that was 2014, December, 29th of December, 2014. And she, anyone of that era, that was born between the First and Second World War, and lived through that period, and it was a very difficult period before, obviously during, and then afterwards, it was very difficult.
So they had a very hard life. And to come through that and still have a positive outlook. I mean, she said, if this is getting too heavy, then sorry, but I'm just talking the truth.
It's just what, you know, just what I've been told. She said, during the war, she went to the shops. She went around the corner to the shops, because everything carried on.
You couldn't, it was all rations and stuff, you know, but you still had to eat, and everything was still kind of going on. And then when the sirens went off, everyone ran to get on the underground or get to the shelters. She went next, she actually went to the shops, and she came back, and the next door house next to her was just gone.
The sirens went off, so she sheltered in the shop. When she got back home, the house was gone, next door to her. It's her next door neighbor, like a friend, you know, it's like, wow.
And it's just so matter of fact, kind of, yeah, that happened. I mean, I don't like it when I stub my toe. You know, I make a big deal about stuff, and I really perhaps shouldn't.
It's like, oh, woe is me. And just to go, it's like, I can't even imagine it, really, to have gone through what she went through, and what the whole generation went through, all of them. It wasn't just my nan and granddad, it was everybody's nan and granddad, you know, of my age.
Anyone in their 90s, or nearly 100, or maybe passed away in their 90s, in the last decade. They were around during that period, and it's amazing that they got through it. Absolutely amazing.
The weird thing is just, I remember my grand showed me this, she had these artifacts that she, on top of her set of drawers, because she ended up living in a sheltered accommodation for the last six years, I think. And it was a lovely little flat. It was nice, she didn't like it, but, because it wasn't her home, wasn't where she'd lived for a long time.
And, but, it's, it was okay, you know, it was kind of, it's somewhere that I could see that I'd be all right to live in a place like that. But it's easy to say that, isn't it, but I've never lived in a house, I've never had my own, I've got a flat, but I've never lived in a place of my own, with a garden, with a, you know, completely closed door, no one comes into the property. Like here, it's a flat in a building, and other people share the building, you know, that live in different flats.
Her building was her building. And she was completely independent, and then going from that to being dependent was not a good taste for her. She didn't like that.
And, but she was always pleased to see me, always had a smile on her face when she saw me, even right to the end, like always pleased, always happy. It's like, it was almost joyful to see me. Now I'm sure a lot of people are thinking, well, yeah, why wouldn't it be? You're an amazing person.
I'm joking. It's nice to meet someone, to see someone that's always happy to see you. Normally, you only get that with a dog, or puppy.
You know, dogs are like that, and they're always like, you're back, you're back, you came back. I went in the garden, I've been gone for 30 seconds, but you're back, you came back. Now my name wasn't like that.
I'm not saying my name was not like a dog. I'm not comparing her to a dog. If you thought that, then you know I'm not.
She's an amazing, amazing person. Maybe you're thinking about her because, you know, it's coming up to her anniversary, and this is about the last time that I saw her, round about the beginning of December, because she went to my aunt's for Christmas, and she went fairly early in the month, I think, and she'd stay there for a few weeks, and my aunt would basically just look after her, and wait on her, and do everything. But she didn't want to travel that year.
She wasn't well. She didn't want to travel, but she went anyway, and then she couldn't come back. She wasn't well enough to come home, so my dad was going to take her to bed, and then, well, I wasn't needed in the end.
But I think back to how to be able to be that person for someone else, to always kind of just be pleased to see somebody. I don't know if I've got it in me. I wish I could be like that, but then I was always pleased to see Andre.
He annoyed me, but I was pleased to see him. He used to make me smile. I was always pleased to see my nan as well, so I guess it was mutual.
I wasn't thinking, oh, you again. I purposely went to see her, and I felt like a little boy when I was with her. I didn't feel like an adult.
It didn't matter I was what, 44 years old when she left, and to me, I was still 8, 9, 10 years old. Every time I was with her, I just felt like I was a little boy. She'd tell me off.
She did. She'd tell me off if I was being naughty, if I said something that was inappropriate. She said, nope.
One thing she did do is, because I've never had a bit of a weird relationship with my father, and she wouldn't let me say anything bad about him. Not that I would say, but I wouldn't have him say bad things, but he's your father, and I thought, okay. I'd like to moan, and he'd be like, nope.
She wouldn't have it. Wouldn't have me moaning about him at all. That's her son, so I guess, but the weird thing about it is, whenever I went there, nearly every time, we'd just be sitting there.
She'd make me a cup of tea, brought cakes, and we'd sit there. Maybe we'd have the television on. Yeah, it depends.
But we would chat, and one of the things we liked to do together was watch what was it called? Oh, what was it called? It was the ones with the boxes, and you choose a box, and you open the box, and it's not the thing, and you can win up to 250 grand. Oh, the red boxes. They might have a different name for it in America and wherever, Australia, but I know it's definitely been around every country because it was a huge show.
Deal or No Deal. Deal or No Deal. That was our thing.
We used to love watching Deal or No Deal together, and we used to get really into it, like proper, like, oh, you know, and sometimes I'd visit her maybe a couple of times a week. Sometimes it was just once a week, but when I went, we watched Deal or No Deal. But what she would do is during the break, if I went to the toilet, I could hear her.
Yeah, hello, Jason's dad. Yeah, Jason's here. Come round.
So she'd get him, like, or she'd say, oh, come back. Oh, your dad's on the phone. I'm watching Deal or No Deal.
It's the last box. Got to put family before television. No, it's the last box.
What's the point in watching an hour or something and then just not watching the end? It's pointless when we can have this conversation afterwards. So we kind of disagreed on that one. But she'd phone him and like, I didn't understand.
How come my dad keeps turning up when I'm there? How does he know I'm there? And I realized it because she kept phoning him. Like, yeah, yeah, Jason's here. What are you doing there? And I've come to see you.
This is our time, you know, our... She just wanted to get me and my dad together. And it's a lovely thing, probably, I suppose. It's weird, strange.
So my granddad, I really didn't have any relationship with apart from my granddad. I loved him because my granddad. You love your granddad, don't you? He was always gentle with me.
He was strict, but he wasn't horrible. I was a good boy anyway, really. So I knew not to mess with him.
You know, I mean, I was awful at school with teachers and stuff. But when I was with my granddad, I was like, perfect behavior, absolutely perfect behavior. And I remember, I think it was 1986, maybe 1987, he gave me a bonsai tree.
I don't know what a bonsai tree was. I did, but I didn't. I did in the sense of Karate Kid, Mr. Belushi.
You know, he had this bonsai, because that's what he did, and they made bonsai trees and stuff. So Mr. Kawasaki, Mr. Shizaki, Badaki, I forget his name, but he had bonsai. So I knew what bonsai trees were, but I'd forgotten.
Big karate boy, karate kid fan when I was a kid, you know, when I was like 13, 14, whatever. And ironically, it was right at the same time, it came out. What year did it come out? Karate Kid, the film was 1984.
So that was the year that I was doing karate. So you know, to be doing karate and to have a movie about a karate kid was like, perfect for me. I mean, it was perfect for millions and millions and millions of kids because it was, is a cult movie.
And it was loved by, it still is. Budget of 8 million, 130.8 million in the box office. That's without all the DVDs and all the TV, millions of times it's been seen on TV.
I love the karate kid. Anyway, you know, I moan about my dad. Well, I try not to moan about him, but when I did karate, he actually was fairly supportive.
Like he, he told, he said no, when I said to him, I was probably about 10, 11, I said, I want to do martial arts. And he said, no, I want to do martial arts. He said, no, why did you put a picture of Bruce Lee on my wall in the new house that we moved into? I didn't know who Bruce Lee was.
Why did you put him on my wall? If you didn't want me to be influenced by not just martial arts, but the King of Kung Fu. Why did you put him on my wall next to where I sleep? And I see him every single day. I wasn't old enough to watch the movie, you know, End of the Dragon.
I was a kid. I wasn't allowed to watch it, but I woke up every day to him and I went to sleep every day saying goodnight to Bruce Lee. So, and now you're saying I can't do Kung Fu because I was already doing Kung Fu.
I was doing my own version of it because Kung Fu, the TV show was huge in the UK at the time. Used to be on every Saturday night, I think with David Carradine as Kane, Glasshopper. So I used to copy.
I used to like, you know, copy the whole move and all that stuff. So I used to, you know, I used to love all that stuff and my dad wouldn't let me do it. And then 2014, I just joined the karate club.
I didn't even ask him. I just joined and I went along. Now I started off, I did kickboxing with my neighbor across the road.
He wanted my next door neighbor. I had two kids and they're both tough kids, like in the school. One was a year below me and one was two years below me.
So the one two years below me, I was friends with both of them, but the neighbors knew each other for years. He said, oh, do you want to come and do some training? I need someone to spar with in kickboxing. I said, yeah, all right.
So I had to do. So he was pretty much the same size, if not bigger than me, because I was tiny. And we got all these padded up.
The bloke, he was an American forces person. I don't know what his job was, but he had access to the gym and he was a kickboxer. So we went along to, he took us to the gym.
We had pads, got padded up, shins, I think even body, head gear, everything. You couldn't, you could have bounced this from the top of a building without getting hurt. Honestly, it was just, there was no way of getting hurt with that much protection.
Not that I wanted to get hurt, but I wanted an opportunity to hurt him. I didn't. And we basically, we did stretching.
That was a thing I didn't like. I've never stretched in my life until that moment. I could do the splits, but not properly.
If that makes sense. I mean, I remember the first, in first year, two bullies were trying to, I think they were like pretend bullies. They were like playing around, but they liked to pick on the little kids, but it was more jokey.
You know, it wasn't bully, bully. And they were grabbing me, both had one, one hand each and they were walking me and they were going to do something weird, like chuck me out a window or something, lock me in a cupboard. And I did the splits and tripped them both up and just jumped on top of them and laughed and ran off.
So even then, at 11, I was, I kind of learned a few moves from watching it on telly. So I like, ah, and I didn't know what I was doing, but it was fun. But I'd never done any stretching and it was horrible because it was living hurt.
The next day it was so painful. And the weird thing about it is with this kid that was next door, the bloke who was across the road, the one who was training us, he got a spar in. So we were like, I didn't know what I was doing.
I was just punching and kicking. I'd never kicked. Not really.
I didn't know how to kick. Didn't, didn't just doing what I was sort of trying to do, what he was doing to me. And, but the bloke was egging him on.
I don't know his name. Let's say his name was Simon. Like, come on, Simon.
Come on, Si. You can like, wait a minute. Why are we not equal here? Why are you wanting him to beat me? And that annoyed me.
Really annoyed me. And it's, you know, there was no way we could, I didn't, I didn't like that. I didn't go back after that because I don't like that.
You know, if you, and the same as when I went to the karate club, it was never like that. It was always, they'd, they'd egg you on. They'd support you, but both of you, you know, if this, if you, when you're sparring, the, the, the person in charge, sensei, whatever, the instructor would be on everyone's side, you know, like, come on, come on.
Yay. You know, wouldn't, I guess they probably did have favorites, but I was never anyone's favorite ever. I never had been, but I didn't feel that necessarily.
You know, it's like they were on someone else's side. If anything, I think they quite, my sensei quite liked me because I was tiny and he was a giant of a man. He was like six, a good six, six, six, seven, and he's big and he was, was very, he was a black, I don't know how many dans he had, black belt.
So he was a, and I was a kid, so I was like 14 years old. He was probably 30 or something. And I couldn't, I mean, I was nowhere, I could never hit his head and he found it funny.
And he, a lot of the bigger lads would play with me. They kind of pushed me over and they'd, you know, they kind of just, I guess they wouldn't take me seriously, but why would they? But it was playful. I quite liked it.
It was, it was kind of like having older, like older brothers, but without the hate, you know, it was, it was nice. And apart from one, there was one, and he was a lanky, he was, probably about six, five and he was still at school. He was in that, he's in sixth form.
So he, I guess he'd be about 18, about, probably about my, my brother's age, my oldest brother's age. And he was best mates with the top person in the gym, other than the instructor. And he was a black, I think he was a black belt by now.
And he was 18 and he was one of the youngest black belts in the area. But this other one, he was a brown belt. He wasn't a black belt yet.
But he used to try and bully me in a way of, when we, because we sparred every single time, every, we were there Tuesday, Thursday evenings, and we'd stretch, do exercises, practice the kata or the forms. And we'd spar, you know, spar each other. And we'd take turns and we'd basically go through it, end up sparring everyone really at times for a few minutes each time.
Just only one person used to really try and pick on me and continuously pushing me over, kicking me hard and kicking me over. And I used to warn him, I'd say, don't do that. It's not fair.
You know, I was what, probably five foot five, probably at the time, five, four, five, five, probably about five. You know, I'm thinking I got to five, eight, I'm five, eight now. So at 14, I was probably about five, five, maybe five, four.
So I wasn't very tall at all. So he was six foot five or whatever. He might have actually been even taller.
He might be nearly seven, but he was very, very tall, very slim, very tall. And I kept saying to him, stop kicking me. And he kept pushing me over, like kicking me and I'd go flying.
I kept saying, stop. And he wouldn't. So what I'd do is I'd punch him in the balls.
And he didn't like that. But I had no choice. Like, you know, this is karate.
I'd pretend it was an accident. I wouldn't like be blatant about it. So I'm sorry.
And with karate and with any martial art, if someone is got a physical advantage over you, you have to do what you have to do. So it's like, if, if you're facing, I'm not maybe like a younger person or whatever, and they're facing off against a boxer, you don't outbox the boxer. That's just ridiculous.
It's like you don't outrun the runner. You know, you don't, you don't out karate the karate person. You can't out kick the kicker.
You do something different. So I couldn't out kick him because his legs were about as long as, as long as this road I live in. So the good thing about it is his leg was there.
I was pretty much his groin height anyway, so I could headbutt him. It was fun. It was a lot of fun.
But yeah, he had a cup and everything on. So it wouldn't cause too much damage. But sometimes you got to do that.
And it's like, can't, I didn't like the way he kept pushing me over. So it just, it hurts, you know. But I did that for a couple of years, 14, 15.
And I went to the boxing club in the next town because I found out one of my friends went there. So I went along with him. And it was just too much hassle to get back to get them back in the evening.
The buses were rubbish. I didn't have anyone to drive me there. I think I might just got the bus in time.
I didn't have any money because I was at school still. So I couldn't get taxis or anything like that. So I didn't go, I'd go back, which is a shame because I love boxing.
But at the time, I love karate more. Karate was my thing. I absolutely loved it.
And I was kind of okay. I was pretty good. I did a few gradings, and I got a first class pass in all my gradings.
I did, I think, three competitions. And I didn't do very well in any of them. It's true.
I think the three contests, the first one I got knocked out, not knocked out physically, but knocked out of the contest in the first fight. I think I managed two fights in the second one and three fights in the third one. But I still lost.
Oh, that's weird. I had a strange noise come from the over there. But here's a weird thing about boxers.
It's not really violence. It's just stuff that happened. But my granddad, when he was in his 70s, he was on his bike, and a car pulled out in front of him.
Who knows who was at fault. But anyway, the driver was very unhappy with my granddad. And I think he might have knocked my granddad off the bike or something.
He wasn't happy. My granddad wasn't happy either. But my granddad, he wouldn't really say much.
He'd just carry on. But the bloke got out of his car. It was a young man who was in his 20s.
And he started having a go at my granddad by really having a go. Now, I'm not sure if he went to hit my granddad or whatever. But my granddad just knocked him out.
One punch, bing, gone. And he talked about it, so matter of fact. Like, yeah, this happened.
I just knocked him out. And it wasn't like bragging. It was just like, yeah.
But he was a gentle man. That's the thing. He was literally a gentle man.
And how can you pick on someone who's in their late 70s, or not late 70s, but early 70s, probably. Early 70s. It's ridiculous.
On his bicycle. Maybe it was late 60s. I think probably early 70s.
Anyway, he was old. He was an old man. Still had it.
Still had the, whatever it is, you know. I just thought it was quite cool. He's like, oh, my granddad.
He's like, oh, it's my granddad. I did, I had more than one granddad, but I never met the other one. He was my mother's father.
And I guess, obviously, my granddad was my dad's father. My other granddad was my mother's father. There's some logic in that, isn't there? He, apparently, he was a giant, like physically an absolute giant.
Like huge. And all I know is we passed away very, I think he passed away before I was even born. And apparently, my mum, my biological mother, moved into my dad's house when he was living with my nan and granddad.
And she didn't tell anyone. She didn't even tell them. She must have gone in with a suitcase, I don't know, and just put it into my dad's bedroom.
But she told her parents that she'd moved out. So apparently, my nan and granddad were there, but my dad wasn't there. He was at work.
And my mum's father, so my other granddad, the huge man, apparently, he knocked on the door and he was very upset. And my nan, she said she was so scared for my granddad, because this bloke was twice the size of my granddad, granddad, the one I've been talking about. So my dad's dad, he dwarfed my grand, like by a lot.
So I don't know how big he was. But it's just, and my nan, she was so scared for him. And I said, well, and I think what my granddad did, he went upstairs, he just got her bags and said, there you go.
Just gave him the stuff, said, yeah, she's not living there now. They knew nothing about it, apparently. Don't know if it's true, might be a lie.
My grandmother was lying to me all those years. I'll have a quick drink. So yeah, Mr Miyagi.
Now I'm just looking at the face thing. So yeah, that's, I don't know why I was even thinking about that, to be honest, I've got no idea. Just remembering me nanny Newland.
My nanny Newland. Nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny Newland. Nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny Newland.
Nanny, nanny Newland. Newland. Nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny.
that's enough for me i'm gonna go excuse me thank you for listening remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.