#927 Its early Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (22nd November 2022)

Hello and welcome to let me moor you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland and this is my podcast. It's a kind of a boring podcast and the idea behind it is that I talk at you for about an hour and you get very bored and then maybe you know you relax deeply and all the muscles in your body feel nice and you feel calm and your mind slows down and then maybe you just pop off to sleep and then I pop off for a cup of tea.

So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I've literally just got out of bed and you know what I'm not complaining but for some reason I'm in a fairly good mood. I'm not really a morning person, I wake up you know I get up early in the morning these days rather than, I prefer going to bed early evening, early and getting up early rather than being in bed all day, rather than being up all night.

But then being in bed all day, yeah. But I don't generally wake up hopping and skipping and doing somersaults on the way to the bathroom you know. But today I did, no I didn't.

But today I was doing head spins. Today I just, I don't know, I was in such a grump yesterday. But really, really not in a good good mood and today I'm almost the opposite.

I've got no idea but hey, thank you. Whatever the reason is, I'm pleased. And yes, it's weird sometimes I don't know what mood I'm in until I actually go outside and meet a human.

But yesterday I felt all right. Yesterday I felt absolutely, well I thought I felt fine and then I go out in the rain and it's really, really raining all day long. Windy, rainy and there's traffic, a car.

I thought a car had slowed down for me, it didn't. It started speeding up when I got onto the road. So I managed to avoid that.

From then on it just didn't go great. I'm walking towards the petrol station to go in and some van parked right in front of me just as I'm walking through there. I just wish I was Superman so I could just crunch the van up, you know.

Wait until it gets out obviously, then crunch the van up and kick it in the air or something to the moon. That's how I would use my superpowers. So anyway.

It's been a couple of days since I last made a let me bore you to sleep recording. When was it? 16th of November and it's now the 22nd. I might be sniffly today.

I do apologise. Blimey, it's been six days. Six days.

That's strange for me. I'm usually quite regular. 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19.

Oh wait a minute, I'm counting the date rather than the dates. I'm counting, I'm counting the actual, the numbers of the recordings. Of course it's going to be numerical.

I've not missed any of those out because it's the name, it's the number of the recording. I'm going to go through the dates. 16th of November, 14th, next before that, 13th, 12th, 10th, 8th, 7th, 5th, 4th, 5th, 2nd, 1st.

Okay, so, it's not every day is it? I'd like to sort of be a bit, I'll tell you what it is though. I can make a hypnosis recording regardless of my mood.

I mean it depends, if I'm like, if I'm not in the mood to do anything at all then I won't, but I don't have to be in an okay mood to make a hypnosis recording because it's a serious thing and you know it's, and I generally feel better afterwards anyway, but I can manage to sort of leave that at the door, as it were, and be semi-professional, semi-professional, but when I do these ones, because it's more of a vlog, it's more of a, more me being me, then if I come on and pretend to be

something I'm not, then I mean that might be okay for the listeners, but it's just too difficult for me to do, because the whole point is to just be genuine, and if I'm in a genuinely in a bad mood, that's not in, that's not nice to listen to, you know, I'm not, I don't want to, I can, sometimes I'm very funny when I'm in a bad mood, I come out with some quite good stuff, but at the same time, you know, I try and keep it light, I do try and keep it light, I mean

I've done recordings in the past where I've not released them, I've not uploaded them because I was like, wow, I can't believe I just said all that stuff, I don't even mean it, just, just venting, you know, I made a stop smoking recording the other day, and I didn't upload that either, because it was, it was aggressive, I was actually verbally aggressive on there, and I'm going to, I'm going to leave it a little while, I'll listen to it again, to see if I come across as aggressively as I felt I did, when I was

doing it, or after I did it, or whether it's funny, you know, because, I don't know, but don't think I'm going to be able to upload it, and it's a good recording, but it's more the kind of recording that you'd expect from someone on stage, doing a seminar, and really pumping the audience up, and really getting aggressive, and I've had to explain it really, but that's what it was like, and that's not generally my style, is it?

I'm more gentle, and I don't mean that in like, pretend to be gentle, I just am, I'm a gentle person, most of the time, apart from the occasions, like yesterday, I didn't, I was not feeling gentle, and I don't like that, I really don't want to be like that, and it's not why I'm on this planet, it's not, I want to be nice to people, and I want to help people, and then I got bipolar, and I got a mood disorder, it's just weird, it's a weird thing, I'll talk about the bipolar one day, but

it's weird, I want to be able to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't want it to be heavy, you know, I just want it to be light, light and juicy, like Juicy JJ, you know, just a nice, I know life isn't necessarily nice and light, but that's part of the reason for these podcasts, just to be gentle, I want it to be gentle, I also want to stop sniffing, because I don't like sniffing when I do recordings, because it's gross, it's horrible, it's really horrible, I do apologize, I'll stop, I won't

do it anymore, but I can breathe now, so that's good, in fact, there's nothing to, it's just, I can't stop now, right, okay, here we go, here we go, just looking at the stats for yesterday, good, I'm on track, I'm back on track, but I've only done one recording, in fact, I did, I did a recording yesterday, and the one before that, I did on the 18th, I did two on the 18th, and two on the 16th, yeah, so really the last, since 18th, 1920, so it's two days without anything, and I did one, so

yeah, I did two on Friday, nothing Saturday, nothing Sunday, and yesterday was Monday, so I did one recording, and that was a deep sleep whisper, a deep sleep whisper, blimey, you know how many downloads I got on a Let Me Boy To Sleep yesterday, 295, that's ridiculous, that's like the, no, I had 221 on, was it Saturday, yeah, a few days earlier, I had 1130, it's just, I can't predict it anymore, 1039 on the 11th, and 413 on the 12th, 1130 on the 6th, and the 10th, 532, I don't get it, 596,885 downloads of the

Let Me Boy To Sleep podcast, so I'm looking forward to getting the million, it's probably a little while away though, isn't it, to be honest, a few months, maybe a year, I mean, how many have you got, okay, hypnosis for stress and anxieties, 3,222,000, hypnosis for sleeping deeply, 3,196,000, I'm not even noticing when they change into the different millions now, that's strange, sleep insomnia, hypnosis, 1.

8 million, I had another one that hit a million, where was it, oh yeah, deep sleep whisper hypnosis hit over a million recently, 1,049,721, see that just came under the radar, that one did, wasn't even watching it, didn't even realize that I was at that number, so I do have a nice regular audience for the deep sleep whisper, a bigger audience in fact than the Let Me Boy To Sleep, which is annoying, well I love both, but you know, I put more energy, not put more energy, well I make more Let Me Boy To Sleep

recordings, don't I, Stop Smoking podcast, 65,000, so that's still in its infancy, but I'm getting regular people coming back for that, I don't know if they would if I'd released that one the other day, the relax asleep hypnosis daily, I've made a few changes to that, but I've put the changes back again, because that's a podcast on its own, separate, I like that podcast actually, just I don't know, just so I've got that, relax asleep hypnosis daily, 520,376, so yesterday, 801 downloads, the 11th, 1441, yeah, it's, I don't know why, I just disliked that one,

plus I've made quite a few recordings, 183 in fact, 183 different relax asleep hypnosis daily podcasts, over four years or whatever, so it's quite a lot, isn't it, don't you think, it's like, yeah you, here's a weird thing, I don't know, you might want to test this out, it might be absolute rubbish, but for me it's true, if I go onto Spotify and I put in hypnosis, guess what comes up, not under podcasts, hypnosis podcasts, a bunch of hypnosis podcasts come up, so it's amazing, mine are in the list, but chronic pain hypnosis, my chronic

pain hypnosis is the number one, not number one, but it's the first one in the list, I don't know if it's because I've been on them myself, so I don't know, it can't be that for everyone, because it hasn't got many, many views really, I'm getting like 67, 70 views a day on that one, 2280 over the last 30 days, so what I've been doing is, because I'm trying to do the videos and do this, I've not made a video of me, like Mimi, Mimi, I've not, what's that, what's a Mimi, I've not made a

video of Mimi, what about you, not you, you, yeah, but not Mimi, but what I have been doing is, one of the things I did, I spent hours and hours doing this the other day, is changing the thumbnails on my YouTube videos, to try and make them nicer, now I know that they're not going to be of the quality that's required for a successful YouTube channel, I realise that at the moment, but what an improvement on what they were, so that's, I'm pleased with that so far, and you know, we've got to go with, I

think it's, why not feel good about myself when I've accomplished something, so yeah, I accomplished that, it took a long time, a long time to get done, because I only had, what, 30 videos or something, no, let's say 45 videos, so when I did that, I had probably 43, so I had to do 43 thumbnails, and so I've got different thumbnail designs for each podcast, so relax and sleep hypnosis, there's a red design, for deep sleep whisper, there's a yellow design, stress and pain relief, there's a purple design, let me bore you to sleep, there's

a blue design, actually that's the most boring one out of all of them, and so then there's the picture of the actual, there's a thumbnail of the thumbnail, and within the thumbnail, which might, you know, I'm okay with it, I'm okay with it, I've stopped advertising the videos on YouTube, and the weird thing about it, because I hadn't uploaded anything since the 16th of November, because I was, I guess I was quite regular for about a week or two, and I was advertising, promoting the YouTube channel, and I had like 125 new subscribers in about

a week, and then I stopped, and everything just kind of, everything didn't didn't stop, I still was getting views, and I'd gained new subscribers, so they were watching and stuff, I guess, and then yesterday, because I got to 782 subscribers, yesterday I was at 781, I'd lost a subscriber, so I uploaded a new video yesterday, and it was the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis video, the recording I did, and I converted it into a video with graphics, with a video with music underneath as well, and so I've kind of created this video, and it's, it's relaxed

everywhere, it's number 469 Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis, so I uploaded it yesterday, and I've had two new subscribers since then, which is good, and it's 12 views, I know 12 views, it's pretty phenomenal, I think the YouTube community, all these, you know, Logan Paul, and PewDiePie, and you know, all that, they need to watch their back now, now I'm here, 12 views, but you know what, the fact that anyone's watching is a miracle in a way, I think, and at one point, I was getting nearly a thousand views, about over a thousand views a day,

recently, when I was promoting, so the 11th of November, 11th of November was a big day, wasn't it?

I had quite a good day on YouTube on the 11th of November, for some reason, 11th of November, okay, no, it was all right, it wasn't anything special, I don't know why I thought that was, and yeah, anyway, so I've got 783 subscribers, if you want, well if you'd like to, if you want to do me a favor, please go to my website, go to my YouTube channel, and subscribe, only if you want to, please do, please, please, please, please, please, please, because I want to get to a thousand, that's the bare minimum any YouTube

channel should have, is a thousand, and it's the first landmark, and it'd be nice, and I'm thinking that, you know what, with your help, with your help, I could maybe make this an okay YouTube channel, because I don't necessarily have to make videos of myself, I can make videos, the hypnosis videos, I can make, make them look nice, make them sound nice, with the audio music underneath as well, there's certain websites I can use for that, and potentially, eventually, maybe, maybe, baby, I heard you, maybe, I mean, I could get better at the videos as

well, so I could make better videos, more appealing to the eye, and the other senses, I don't know, I could have a fairly popular YouTube channel, without ever showing my face, possible, it's just, you know, there's no way I could have made a, a video of me talking, doing this, because I just got out of bed, you know, it takes me good three hours to get my hair ready, I can't just to have my bow front, and I have my little half perm, and you know, just I can't, I can't just be on camera, even

Marilyn Monroe couldn't just get on camera, she had to get prepared, everybody has to get prepared, I mean her preparation is probably a little bit different from mine, but I just, you know, I just, I'm not ready for cameras, but this is kind of the best of both worlds, so you've got the, this, for when I do a, you know, podcast, you've got the sleepy boring objects, and a few other things that maybe I might pop, I might, you know, do like this, that you won't get on YouTube, so yeah, kind of a, kind of

available on both, I tell you, I was, I was very pleased with myself yesterday, let me tell you why, I did the deep sleep whisper recording, and I put it through Orphonic, and it sounded awful, like really bad, so I took the original recording, which was almost inaudible, it was so low, that's the problem with doing whisper recordings, is if you have it too high in order for people to hear, there's so much static and background stuff, still trying to get my head around it, I will eventually, it's only been what, 17 years, I'm sure

I'll figure it out, well anyway, I've got the Adobe Suite, which I pay monthly for, the whole point of having it, is to improve the audio, and improve the video, and all that stuff, I've played around with it, more for the audio, that's the more important thing at the moment for me, and so I've already got a software for video, already that I use, so I can use that, it's basic, but it's, it does the job, and yesterday, I had really no choice, well two choices, either I tried to, I tried to do it with

the software, or editing that I've got on my iPad, and that just distorted the audio, so either I just, and it's a 30 minute recording, I just dump it, or I try and do something with the Adobe Audition, now I'd already dumped one recording, no two, this week already, one was a let me boy to sleep, and one was a stop smoking recording, so it's two, that's like nearly two hours of recording, that I didn't use, so I didn't want another 30 minutes, you know, so you know, you know, you know, you know, so I

went into Adobe, and I tinkered, and I played around with it, and I found a way, I didn't really know what I was doing, I do a bit better than I did, because I've watched quite a few tutorials on YouTube, but I have, it's not a good idea, I have a tendency of watching the tutorials, when I'm not actually using the computer, I need to be doing both at the same time, but you know, there you go, some of it must have sunk in, anyway I managed to get the volume up to a really normal

level, also the background sound down to a good level, and although it takes a little bit of getting used to using the portal, using the audition, using the laptop to, you know, there's a bit of a lag on the, on the mouse on the laptop, and it's, there's also a touchscreen, so it's not too bad, but yes, I do see why the digital engineers, or people that, well a lot of YouTubers really, podcasters use the big monitors, is because it's quite an intrinsic, quite a, is that the right word, a lot of very small changes

to be made, you know, very minute kind of movements, and doing that on a laptop is, of course it's possible, because it always used to be, that's how people used to do, isn't it, not everybody would have a, like a big computer, with a big screen, not everybody, not everybody, that used to be the thing didn't it, designers be on a laptop, and you know, be able to do wherever they went, or was that computer programmers, yeah probably, anyway I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it just on the laptop for now, if a big monitor is,

if a monitor is needed, then I'll have to look at that, but for now I'm just going to do it on a computer screen, on the laptop, and I was really, really pleased with myself, because I managed to do something that I couldn't do, two other different ways of doing it, I wasn't able to, yet I was able to do it with a bit of time, effort, a bit of creativity, it was like wow, and it was fairly good quality, I'd say, not the best, I mean, I'm never pleased, never like 100 pleased with the

quality of any recording I've ever done, I'd like it to be perfect, I want it to sound like a radio show, you know, I just, and probably a lot to do that is, I don't have a radio show voice, maybe, you know, like deep, well it's two o'clock now, maybe, I don't know, do I sound like you've got a radio voice, do I sound like a radio presenter, do I?

So yeah, if you, if you would like, if you would love to go to YouTube and subscribe, I will be forever, eternally, not just forever, but eternally, forever, eternally forever, eternally, fairly pleased, not quite grateful, but fairly pleased, fairly pleased, I was, yeah, I said go on, please, please, please, please, I just want to get to a thousand, it's a 783, it's only 217, is that 217, it's only, it's over 130, I thought you said it's 217, yeah, which is over 130, la, la, la, la, la, I don't know, I love that one, so yeah,

if you can help me get to a thousand subscribers, that would be absolutely glorious, glorious, glorious, content, content, it's weird, I go on to the YouTube channel, I'm quite, quite pleased with how the podcast or the video thumbnails are, now there is a way, I watched a video yesterday on how to check your thumbnail, there's a software and you can actually go online, check your thumbnail to see where it ranks on the YouTube algorithm, whether or not YouTube will push the video based on the video thumbnail, or however they can also check content as well,

so based on that, my ASMR, or I put ASMR in front of my deep sleep whisper hypnosis recordings, there's no reason why YouTube shouldn't recommend them, because they do what they say, it is me whispering, and yeah, maybe they'll, they'll promote them, I don't know, it's hard to give too much attention to it to be honest, because the only reason is, I invested quite a bit of time over the last couple of weeks, yeah, or not, it's not just, it's this month isn't it, so the last 22, 12, yeah, it's basically this month I started

giving it some energy, and I'd like to, I'm just interested in seeing where it goes, I get 10,000, I get a thousand subscribers to start with, and then, you know, over time, if I can build up to 10,000, or 100,000, that'd be brilliant, it's a whole kind of, it's like a flip side to what I'm doing here with the podcasts, it's, yeah, be cool, a million, a hundred million, a hundred million, I don't know why, just some people, I think that's, that's just ridiculously high, you know, what's the chance of getting that many, and I

think to myself, it just sounds right, you know, it just sounds just so natural, you know, so how many subscribers have you got on YouTube, a hundred million, it just rolls off my tongue, like it's just, like yeah, a hundred million, it's nothing really, it's just a hundred million, yeah, a hundred million, I only earn 40 million a year, that's all, that's all, yeah, a hundred million, a hundred million subscribers, wow, 300 million downloads, 300 million views a day, wow, in fact, let's have a look, YouTube, I forget the name of it, what's the name

of it, YouTube stats tube, social blade, that's it, oh, blimey, I should know that by now, PewDiePie, let's have a look, that's really weird, okay, so PewDiePie, he's got 111 million subscribers, he's one, maybe not the top one now, I think Mr.

Beast is the number one individual person, but he's got a team behind him, for someone just sitting in their bedroom, making videos, no one has come close to PewDiePie, and 4,684 videos, he's had 28 billion, 28 billion, 761 million, 490,342 video views, since April 29th, 2010, blimey, what's weird though, he's only rated 11,697th in social blade rank, how the hell do they work that out, I mean, what the hell do you need to do, he's the first country in his country rank, his country is Japan now, first entertainer rank, 34th video views rank, 7th subscriber

rank, so he's got all that, okay, 7th subscriber in the world, how come he still only gets a B+, and he's 11,697th social blade rank, I don't know how they do that, obviously, maybe they don't like him, makes no sense to me, so apparently, once you get to 111 million subscribers, they don't bother even counting them anymore, according to this, video views, he's getting 200 million a month, about 200 million video views a month, 200 a month, that's just ridiculous, it's like, 2468, 200, it's like, what is that, 2 billion a year, is that, is

that something like that, blimey, they say these average earnings per month will be 32,000 pounds, between 32,000 pounds and 518,000 pounds per month, all right, monthly gained subscribers for pretty power, right, nothing, just stayed the same apparently, monthly gained video views, it's going down, but by like, okay, so he said, so why are they saying 200, when he's got 55 million, 33, 33 million, that one says plus 200 million, so this is obviously, he's getting more video views this month, that's interesting, it's not really, is it, but 6 average monthly, 199 million, weekly average, monthly

gained video views, okay, well the point is, he's very successful, and he moved to Japan, I actually follow him, I watch his videos, he moved to Japan, ah, that's why, video weekly, his video views have gone up a lot in the last um, couple of weeks, so he was getting 18, 23, I think 23 million video views at the most he's had for, blimey, for months, but this, now he's got 175 million in the last seven, wow, 14, I don't know if that's, yeah, weekly, so the week of the 14th of November, 170 million, and

he's been releasing new videos, so that's all he has to do, I guess, just release new videos, and, wow, I wonder what he's doing, maybe he's decided he wants to, he's got the love back for it, because he seems to kind of, he kept saying he's retired now, and he's just going to do it for fun, and he moved to Japan with his wife, and he's really happy, but then, I don't know, maybe he decided he wanted to spend more time doing it again, because he spent, what, 12 years of his life, the whole of

his 20s, basically from a teenager, late teenager, to 31, whatever he is now, because I sound like a fanboy, don't I, I'm not a fanboy, I just admire the lady, I admire the lady, I, he's, I like successful people, and I didn't, nothing, nothing like him, in a sense, so I can't copy him, because I don't do any of the stuff that he does, and I can't copy, obviously I can't copy him, but what I mean, not even, the only thing that he says is, be consistent, and he used to, he talks about his journey,

and he's made videos when he didn't want to make videos, and he did, he forced himself to do stuff that, when he didn't want to do it, because, you know, he decided he was going to make a video every day, which he kind of nearly did for 12 years, apparently, so, although I think he has, does he have like the first month of the year off, I think, I know I'm asking you, sure sit the herd somewhere that, and that sounds like a good idea, I think the idea of having a whole month off, every

two months, sounds like a good idea, one of you, maybe a whole month off January, and January, January, February, March, April, May, June, January, November, maybe January, December, to be fair, December, January, February, three months off would be lovely, lovely, to go somewhere, I mean, to go away, get away from this, weather, this, the winter, the winter, it's, it hasn't been cold, it's been actually really much milder than normal, I mean, we're getting to the end of the month now, so 22nd of November, 2022, and it's been mild, but then occasionally, especially at night, cold,

and it's very damp, we've got a very damp kind of weather here, and I feel it a bit, I do feel the dampness, oh, my neck's aching a bit, I must, I must have got out of bed too quickly, I'm so old, I'm so old, I remember the good old days, okay, I remember the old days, I feel I've spent the last 30 years waiting for things to improve, and I realise, you know, it doesn't improve on its own, I need to be active in that process, yes, yes, I've done all right, really, I've got

my podcasts, I know to a lot of people, podcasts, it's just like, oh, oh yeah, I've heard about podcasts, but to be in the situation that I'm in, and having been making podcasts right from the early days, I am almost like one of the gold miners in America, you know, that kind of, you know, when everyone's going out, Tin Can Alley, whatever it's called, I'm, you know, so it's just like, the YouTubers, people that started YouTube back in 2007, and they're still doing it, and they're pretty much all going to be successful, because they stuck

at it, now I could have been in that category, because I did have a YouTube channel right from the early ages, the early ages, the early days, but I got rid of the YouTube channel, but I have stuck at making podcasts, right from before podcasts even existed, I was putting my audios onto my website for people to download, and then I went through it, there was one time I could stream them, but I had to leave my laptop on all day, and connected to this server, not my server, but an online server, so people could

download, or no, so they could stream or download my recordings, my audio, hypnosis audio recordings, and this was back in, before streaming was even a thing, they must have been the pioneers of streaming, this, this place, and then there were some companies that offered streaming, but that was so expensive, there really were some of them, where you could basically, you'd put your stuff on their server, but that would cost money, like money, money, money, sometimes some of them were hundreds of pounds a month, because I guess server, server space was really expensive back then, but

then anyone that did that would need to have a really good internet speed, and even broadband back in the 2000s, I never found it to be particularly fast, maybe I was just, I wasn't very lucky, but in the early 2000s, and you got to, even now, this is the first time, and this is using three, this is a mobile app, a mobile internet, which is separate, it's not in a phone, it's separate, and it's the fastest internet I've ever had, the actual broadband I've got is slow, it's like 60 megabytes a second, the only thing

I can use it for is for the television, because if I try and use it for more than one thing at a time, it won't do it, so if I'm streaming Netflix, and I decide I want to upload or download a recording on my laptop, it gives priority to the download, and Netflix just freezes, so it's no use other than for the TV, which is just ridiculous, to pay £60 just so I can stream stuff on TV, £60, £30 a month, just for that, when I've got this, it's basically like a little black box, I

have it plugged in all the time, it's always got, it's always charged, I can, I don't use a TV at the same time, because well I've got the, I've got the internet, I've got a contract, so I might as well just use that for the TV, it's no good for anything else, but this one, I can power like two laptops, an iPad, and upload stuff all at the same time, so I can have six uploads going at the same time, and it holds it, and it's fine, now I don't know if I've got to check

the internet speed on here, I might have, check internet speed, check internet speed, come on, I did have, yep, let's have a look, and I'll delete the sound, because it might probably be an advert on here, I'm just going to check the internet speed, because I don't know why I keep saying check the internet speed enough times, here we go, start test, test downloading, oh it's not particularly fast, for me it doesn't seem to be a case of the fastness, but the amount it does without cutting off, it's stable, that's it, for me stability is

probably more important than fastness, because for example Netflix, I think you only need like three megabytes or four megabytes a second to watch or to stream Netflix, now any internet that low, or struggles with that, is not going to be stable, I mean I literally, when I moved here, my internet from where I lived before, because I brought it with me, it was giving me something like five megabytes a second, and a bloke on the phone was laughing, he couldn't help himself, he said that's just ridiculous, five megabytes a second, you get more than that

30 years ago, you get more than that if you was on the moon, you get more than that if that's okay, somehow I got the idea, he was laughing, it's like that's ridiculous, I said yeah I know, what do you think if you know, for me it's not good is it, he said that's well what's my options, can't you give me a stronger signal or whatever, he said no but we can give you the first month free, I could hear him giggling in the back, I'm sure the whole call center was giggling, and I said

no I'll cancel it, he said oh okay, don't blame me, yes that's fair enough, but I don't have internet now, eventually I found one, but it was still the one I got, which is a bit rubbish, it's part of the reason is because of where I'm living, I'm living in the sticks, however they're now digging up the pavements and the roads to put in, well they are, I say they, this company, and they're gonna be offering an internet service next year, which is supposed to be super fast, super duper fast, I've already signed up for

it, or signed up to be told when it's available, and yeah I'll have it when it's there, I'll get rid of the other one, and I do like having this, this this portable one's quite cool, because I can take it anywhere in this country, so if I decide to, I want to go and go visit someone in Portsmouth, I don't know anyone in Portsmouth, I don't know anyone anywhere now, but if I, you know, if I decide to go on holiday to Torquay, or to Edinburgh, or you know whatever, and I just go off, I

don't have to be reliant on signing into anyone else's internet, I'm not going to a coffee shop, wherever I go, whether it's a hotel, providing there's a reception, that's the one thing of course, but forgetting the reception issues, kind of some places you don't get a good reception, I've got this portable internet, that works a treat, and it's just perfect, and I can run multiple things on it, not that I need to, because I do here, but if I was on holiday, I wouldn't, would I?

I like to think if I was on holiday, I wouldn't even have a laptop, or anything with me, but that's hard to do, close, so, right, what was that noise? This chair really is creaky, 27 seconds it took, or millisecond, 27 milliseconds, this is the results of the speed check, I forgot about the speed check, download 55. 33 megabytes a second, upload 22. 44 megabytes per second, so it's about 18 megabytes higher than the other one, download, upload, upload, it's a heck of a lot more, so 55.

22, okay, it's 90% stability, so what I'm going to do, if I can look into the other one, so can you remember, 55 upload 22 download, 55 upload 22 download, let's check it with a different internet, here we go, let's check it with this one, check it, test again, straight away, it's not getting above 38, yeah, that should be stronger, that's actually connected internally to phone lines, you know, it's amazing, yeah, big difference, so this is the internet I've got on a contract, so I'm stuck with it for another six months, or whatever, and it

costs me 32 pound a month, the, that can only use it for the telly, well I can use it for the internet, but I can't do both, it doesn't let me to do, you know, 38, 15, 38 megabytes per second, the other one was what 55, and upload 6.

9 megabytes, what was the other 22, so upload is probably better for me than download, because I'm constantly uploading stuff, I do download stuff as well, but the uploading is the uploading the recordings to the server for the podcasts, so you see I'm going to get rid of that anyway, because it's rubbish, get rid of that, I'll put it back on, so three mobile, if you're in the UK, and you're looking for an internet provider, but you don't want a phone line, you don't, I didn't know about this, this is kind of a new discovery,

recent, well, six, seven months ago, if you don't want a phone line, you don't want broadband, you don't want a contract, all that stuff, three, the network three, for 30 pound, or 32 pound, or something, maybe 27, it might be less, they will send it, you can get it online, they'll send it to you, with a sim card, plug the sim card in, and there's a little card, it's very small writing, but it will have a, the password that you can put into your computer, or put onto, you know, different things you need, and you

can power lots of things with this thing, it does say, oh, you can power 14 things, and I thought, yeah, now, I managed to, I can run four, four things, you know, that I'm actually using on this, and probably more, it's really good, I should get some kind of sponsorship for it, it's just nice to not have to have a phone line, and it's portable, and yeah, I mean, I don't know, where's my phone, where's my phone, damn you, I'm just interested in what the, the speed, it's cold in here, I have to put the

heating on, blimey, anyway, I'm going to go, so yeah, just gives you an idea, if I'm pleased with that internet, because it does the job, it occasionally, it cuts off, like all internet does, but it's more stable than, it's the most stable internet I've ever had, and it's a portable one, and that's how I see things are going to be, I mean, it's all satellite, isn't it, on all, well, I guess the masts, the mobile phone masts and stuff, we don't need wires and connections and stuff anymore, maybe we do for the super duper fast

ones, but you know, for now, this is all I need, I don't need anything stronger, I mean, it'd be nice to have something that was 200 megabytes a second, and it just, every download is instant, and upload is, you know, instant, but it doesn't work that way, apparently, because it depends upon the server that the website's on, so if you're downloading something from a website, if their server might not be fast enough for you to download really quickly, or you might not be able to upload to their server really quickly, because their server might not

allow it, so it's not just about our own internet, it's about other people's network framework, I don't know if that's real, those are real words, I think they sound, sound very technological, anyway, thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy, be gentle with yourself, lots of love, bye.