#908 First girlfriend - Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (20th October 2022)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. My name is Jason Newland.

I hope you're well. I hope you're groovy. Hope you're groovy.

Okay. Right, before we go any further. So now I've done.

Okay, I'm going to fill in my gratitude journal. So today's Thursday, the 20th of October. Thursday, 20th October 2022.

One, two, three. What am I grateful for today? I'm grateful for stream. It's going to sound very superficial, but I'm grateful for being able to stream things, you know, like TV programs, movies, things like that.

And I've just gone through the process of rebooting the Apple TV because I wasn't able to use the Amazon app and I'm quite, I feel quite grateful because I get offered these discounts discounts because I've been a loyal customer and I've been using them for thousands of years. I get, you know, half price discounts for, you know, for the film channels or for the, you know, different things. So I'm quite grateful for that.

So I'm grateful for streaming. I don't know how to word it really. Streaming TV.

And part of the reason for that is because I can watch what I want when I want and I don't have to sit through adverts. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of adverts, which is unfortunate, you know, part of the television, even the catch up, a lot of catch up channels, you know, the apps have to sit through like three minutes of adverts or five, you know, whatever in order to watch the program. Unless it's on BBC One or BBC Two.

So I like to be able to, I don't want to say binge because I generally don't just sit there for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours watching one episode after another. But I will watch maybe two or three episodes a day of a program and I will watch every episode until every season is completed. So it might take me months to do it.

So, you know, I'm not going to sit there 12 hours a day watching one program, you know, one season. Just I used to. Years and years ago, I went through periods when I would do that and I'd sit down and pretty much I don't know, vegetate, I guess, and just sit there looking at the screen for eight hours solid.

No, I don't do that anymore. In fact, I rarely watch more than one program after another. I watch one episode of something and then I do something else.

So TV isn't that important to me as it used to be. It used to be my friend, used to be my bestest friend, my television. So, yes, but I do really I feel grateful for the streaming television, being able to stream TV and videos and movies and stuff.

Again, it's fairly superficial, but it's OK. I don't mind. I'm not going to judge myself.

That's your job. You judge me. So what's next? What's the next thing I can? Well, my mouth is healing.

So that's something I'm very feeling grateful for. So even though I had two teeth removed yesterday, so it's not long ago, the the pain level is less than what it was, less than it was when I had the toothache. And the toothache wasn't tremendous, you know, wasn't like really bad.

But, you know, I just thought I better sort it out before it did get that way. You know, I mean, I don't want to leave it, leave it too long. And so I'm grateful that the the it was not tooth pain anymore, was it? Mouth pain.

Mouth is feeling, feeling better. The big hole in my mouth, the big hole in my hole is feel my mouth is feeling better. And although, you know, I mean, I don't know, I think my lip hurts more for when I was trying to eat it yesterday without realising it.

So my mouth looks like I've written down my mouth is feeling better. So. I wonder if I look back on this and think I don't remember having a moth as a pet.

What a strange life I must have had when I was just a young 52 year old boy. What else is my grateful for? I don't know. And try and think something.

This is really useful. Doing a gratitude journal. I used to do this when I was younger.

So I've just dropped the pen top on the floor. I'll never pick it up. It was now on the floor for the next three months.

Wow. Well, until it dissolves, until it just, you know, disintegrates over thousands of years. What am I grateful for? So I want to pick the reason why I'm not like jumping into something or grateful for this, I'm grateful for that.

I want to think about it first. And you could say, well, why didn't you think about it before you press record on this podcast? Why didn't you do a little bit of preparation? Well, the same reason that I don't ever prepare for anything, any, any recording really is because I like it to be spontaneous. Spontaneous boredom.

That would be a good title for a podcast. Like I need any more podcasts anymore. I feel I've got enough podcasts.

If anything. I know this might sound a bit strange, but I kind of wish I just had one podcast. Just one.

Like the let me boy to sleep this this thing, just this and nothing else. And then I could just focus on that one thing, because I do struggle a little bit. Separate my focus.

And I know, technically, I just hear that. I'm resetting the Apple TV and the iPad is just blipped like that. I did it all.

I set it all up, resetted it. I wish I hadn't now, because the search facility on the phone on the the hand remote is not working. So I don't know what I've done for some reason.

I don't know if I need to get some kind of connection going between it. I'll figure it out. It's probably just a Google situation.

I have to Google. Was my remote control not working when I pressed the microphone to do the search? Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. As can be.

It's probably a very simple solution. So I'm not going to put my remote control down as something I'm feeling grateful for, because I don't right now. I'm a little bit angry with it.

I'm a little bit, a little bit. A little bit. So gratitude journal is focused on positive.

So. I'm struggling to think of a third thing. I'll be honest, the mouth feeling better.

Is enough for all three, if I was honest, you know, that that's something. There's no there's no rule. I have to put three things down.

The third thing will be almost. Just put it down because I need to put a third one down. So what could it be? What am I grateful for? In a weird way, I'm kind of grateful for politics being interesting, but that's really not a good one.

I imagine most people do not want to even hear about politics when they listen to this. Do not come here for that, Jason. You can steer well clear of politics.

What do they say if you if you want to keep your friends steer clear from politics, religion, and I don't know what was the other one? Wasn't there three? Politics and religion. Maybe it's just the two steer clear of those things and you'll be all right. The thing is, you don't know, do you, what other people, unless you get to know someone really, really well, who's to say what someone's going to, you know, react to when it comes to a particular conversational topic.

I've had friends in the past that really, really get excitable excitable when it comes to stuff like that, you know, politics or basically anything that that they have strong views about. And when I'm in a room with someone that has strong views about anything, I kind of want to leave the room because I have no interest in extreme strong views. It's that extremism.

I'm not never been a big fan of that from any side, whether it's just from any any angle, just like he's been a little bit, you know, expecting everybody else to agree with you and not accepting that other people perhaps don't agree with you. That mentality is troublesome, I do believe. For me, it's a I mean, we'd all love everybody else to agree with us, wouldn't we, really? If we're honest, like, yeah, agree with me, man.

Apart from those that love to argue. Those that love arguing and love to be just to just to be reactive and, you know, I guess they need to be around people that disagree with them. But I think what a lot of those, well, some of those types of characters seem to embrace really strong views that are kind of unpalatable to the general population.

Maybe by accident, maybe on purpose, because they get to argue. They get to get people disagreeing with them all the time because they have disgusting views, maybe. I just say maybe, I don't know.

There might be wonderful views. I'm not going to judge. Who am I to judge? I'm not a judge.

I remember there was this friend I had. And he was a friend. He really, really helped me out.

He looked after me. When I was 18. He gave me somewhere to live.

He fed me. He cooked for me. He, you know, he really did take care of me.

He was probably in his late 30s, maybe early 40s. And, you know, I didn't really feel grateful at the time. But, you know, thinking back on it, I do.

I do. I feel grateful, but I don't like the way it kind of ended, if you know what I mean. Let me tell you all about it.

When are you going to do your gratitude journal? Well, I'm looking at my books. I'm grateful for my books. Now, I think that's something I quite often say, isn't it? Is it? Oh, no, it isn't.

My book collection. Yeah. I'm grateful for my hypnosis books.

I got some very good hypnosis books. Although, I'm kind of wondering. You know, I mean, I'm wondering where I'm going with the old hypnosis these days.

I don't know. I'm going to close this book out now. I'm going to have a drink.

Mmm. Yum, yum. Anyway, that's a different subject.

So I, what do I do? What was I saying? Oh, yeah. So this was, this is a weird one, because, okay, I'm not going to give any information about this person because it wouldn't be fair. But he looked after me and that, you know, that was lovely, what he did.

But it was a strange thing about it. He had this collection and no one's going to know who this person is. So there's not all, no one in the world would know who this person is.

So it's fine to say this stuff. He had this collection of books, magazines. Now, I'm not going in the direction you think.

This is a worse direction than that. But they were very uncomfortable reading. And his words in defense, because I found them, I just, I don't know if I found them or he just let me look at them.

He seemed quite pleased with them. And he said, I'm not a racist, I'm a racialist. Okay, that gives you an idea of what kind of magazines they were.

And I was just, just like, what was weird, because I lived in a small little town, which was quite a racist place. Just, you know, racist, homophobic. That's how the 70s were in this country, like little towns.

You know, a lot of them had never even seen anyone other than white people. And the only Chinese people they saw were the ones that were in a Chinese restaurant or takeaway. The only Indian people maybe they saw were the ones in the Indian restaurant or takeaway.

I mean, this might sound like I'm making it up, but it's not making up, seriously. In London, it was different. It was very multicultural in London from a long time ago.

But in the little town that I lived, and there's lots of those little towns around the country, I think I only met one black person. Maybe there's one mixed race kid at school, maybe a couple. So, you know, had I been born in that town and never known anything else, I probably too also could have gone along with the parents, the adults, television, and just gone along with being racist, just naturally, just being like that, for no reason, really.

Not, you know, it's not even as if they had a, what they would class as a reason is just that they were just born into it. In the 70s, on television, it was a very racist, very homophobic, and I'm not talking about this subject on here for long, I'm just mentioning that that's what it used to be like. Openly, open, it wasn't hidden, and it wasn't even classed as hatred.

It's weird, it's a weird thing. The thing is, I wasn't from that town. I was born in London.

I don't remember living in London when I was a kid because I was a baby. But when I was in the children's home, I lived with black kids as well as white kids, and one of my best friends was a black girl, and I loved her. I think she was my girlfriend, actually, to be fair, or I thought she was my girlfriend.

That's usually how it works. I think that someone's my girlfriend, but they don't even know what my name is. They don't know I exist.

Oh, that's enough of my childhood, and my 20s, and my 30s, and my 40s. So I, there was this girl, and she had, she used to walk around with the comb in her hair, you know, like the bone comb or whatever it is, and I remember when she first moved in, or whatever, we didn't get on. And I was like asking her questions, and she thought I was being rude.

But I wasn't, you know, I was interested, and I liked her. And I just remember, I don't know if she moved in after I did or whatever, we didn't sleep in the same dormitory because she was a girl and I was a boy. And I don't know how many people, how many kids lived in each room.

There was a lot of us, all had our own separate beds, and a little wardrobe or something next to it, bedside cabinet and wardrobe, something. And that was it. And then the next bed and stuff.

So I moved around a bit. So I remember the first, but then I was in two different or two different children's homes, one in Newcastle, one in Southend, possibly one in Scotland, apparently, I don't know, according to my oldest brother. I think he mentioned that.

Anyway, I don't remember that far back. But she used to let me comb her hair, this girl. And she had very short hair, very short and fuzzy, you know, just very short.

I used to love it. She just let me touch it and everything. And when I first asked her to touch her hair, she thought I was being rude.

You know, but she didn't realise that I was just intrigued. And I wanted to touch her hair. Really, I suppose I would have wanted to touch any girl's hair, if they'd let me.

By the way, I just want to point out, I was like, six years old at this point, five, six. So don't judge me, please. Well, you like touching people, so you shouldn't.

I was five. Five year olds don't, you know, I wouldn't touch someone's hair without permission. I don't think I even did it then.

It's like something you kind of know, you don't just touch people, do you? So, so when I moved to that little town, and I heard these horrible things, not just on telly, because I never saw the stuff on telly. I watched very little television before the ages of seven. You know, when we used to go back to my dad and his new wife, when we first started visiting them in the little town, it was the summer of my seventh birthday.

So I was seven in August. And we started going there probably, I don't know, early summertime. And we'd visit every weekend for quite a few, a good few months.

And we started watching television, like on a Saturday morning, we watched the cartoons and all that stuff. Wasn't able to do that in the children's home. So I, you know, it's kind of, it was all new.

Maybe, maybe that's why I, I kind of got so attached to the television. And I'm just remembering, it's not totally true. I used to watch television when I was a kid before the children's home.

Yeah, I remember. Yeah, we did. But while we're at the children's home for those three, four years, whatever, there was really very little television.

So, um, I just remembered, I used to watch Handy Pandy when I was really little. That's the only children's program I remember. What was the other one? Rhubarb and Custard.

Was it Rhubarb and Custard? Yeah. So, what is my point? I don't know. My point is, I think I was more, almost more open minded at age seven than the adults that I was around when I was age seven and eight and nine and ten and eleven and twelve and thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.

I was more open minded than the adults growing up, as I was growing up. Because, you know, I couldn't understand why they were all being so horrible. Why it was acceptable to be negative towards people of different colours and stuff when my girlfriend was, well, my previous girlfriend was a different colour and I didn't care.

She was my girlfriend. I was, you know, girlfriends are a little bit different when you're six, but it was still, still, I guess, attached to her. Yeah, it was weird leaving there.

I hated that place, but the, the kids home and that, I didn't want to be there. But it was weird saying goodbye to the kids, because we go, we get picked up on a Friday evening by my dad and his wife and we drive back and it seemed like a forever drive. And it wasn't that far away.

It was probably about an hour, hour and a half. It wasn't like a huge journey. It just seemed like a never ending journey.

And I think it was because I was, not always, but sometimes, because there was three kids and some, you know, quite often I'd be in the middle and it was not, it's not comfortable to be in the middle of a, at the back of a car. It doesn't matter how little you are, it's still uncomfortable. And, you know, my, my brother above me was a lot bigger than me.

He was two years older, but he was quite stocky, not fat, just stocky. He was, and my older, oldest brother was about 10 foot taller than me and he was only four years older. So he's, he had long old legs.

So there wasn't a lot of room for me. Sometimes I would sit on my step mum's lap in the front. I don't think you're legally allowed to do that anymore, but I used to just, and I'm not sure if anyone had seatbelts on either in them days, but I used to just go to sleep on her lap because I was her baby.

I was the baby until, I was a baby for a year until my little brother was born, the day before my eighth birthday. So I got to be a baby for a year. I was like, yay! So that was good.

I liked that. No, I didn't, I didn't dislike my little brother being born because, you know, I was, I was excited and everything, but I didn't realise that that was the end of me being the baby. That was a bit of a shock.

And when a baby's born, so much attention has to go to the baby. And everyone's giving attention to the baby, but it's, you know, it's just the way it is. If you've got three other kids, it's very hard to give the attention that they need.

When you've got a screaming little baby that needs, needs your constant attention, like 24 hours a day, apart from the 18 hours a day that it's asleep, of course. Oh, we forgot about that, oh yeah. No, no, no, all babies sleep for 18 hours a day.

If only, eh? If only. I wonder what I was like as a baby. Did I sleep? I must have slept.

I wonder what I was like? I don't know. I even remember one of my first ever memories of my life was sitting in, sleeping in this cot or this, but it had railings. So, you know, I couldn't get out of it.

It wasn't a bed, it actually had railings either side, like wooden posts or whatever you call it. So it was like a cot. Now I shouldn't have memories of that age, really.

I shouldn't have any memories of being a baby. So I'm thinking maybe I was kept in that cot for longer than is normal. So I might well have been two, maybe three even, I don't know.

But I remember hearing, and whether it was a radio, whether it was a record playing it, I don't know. But I remember hearing, the first song I ever remember hearing is Gary Glitter's, I Love You, Love. I love you, love, you love me too, love.

So I remember hearing that. I remember that song, listening to it, and liking it. And the only other song I really remember from my childhood, like early, early childhood, was when I was in the South End children's home.

On the radio was playing Bill Haney and the Comets, Rock Around the Clock. And I think I've spoken about this before. Because obviously, it's a 1950s song.

It's a very old song. Even then, it was 20 years old. But it got re-released in like about 1975, 1976.

It got re-released, which explains why it was being played on the telly, on the radio. I really liked it. One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, five, six, seven o'clock.

And the sound of it, there's a certain sound that song has, that you don't get in, where you won't get in modern songs. Just because the sound is better in modern songs. But I like the sound.

The sound quality makes that song even greater than it was. Because it was a great song. Even though I don't appreciate it in a way that someone from the 50s would have done.

Someone that had never heard anything like that before. But then again, I'd never heard anything like that before. But it was old when I heard it.

But I just really liked it. I really liked it a lot. I really did.

I wonder why I'm being so contemplative, wherever that word is. I'm not sure. On YouTube, I've been uploading or just sharing the podcasts, rather than making new videos, just sharing the audio podcasts onto YouTube.

Because I can share it from my podcast app. And people can listen to it. They can play it as a video, but just listen to the audio.

I'm already losing subscribers. I don't know why that's funny. I've lost two in the last two days.

People would not like it. They don't like it. I mean, some people say, you know, you can't please everyone.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I can't please anyone. That makes it easier. Can't please anyone ever.

No, then I'd never bother doing anything, would I? I think. What's that on there? Hypnotic techniques. Okay.

So yeah. So today, I think this week's really going to be about the tooth extraction, really. That's what this week is.

So far, anyway. It's Thursday now. It's a Friday tomorrow.

The week's nearly done. I'd like to go away somewhere. I'd like to.

I'd like to go on holiday. Wouldn't it be nice? I don't know. I would like to move away from here.

Maybe somewhere like Scotland, the Shetland Isles or somewhere like that. Somewhere quiet. As long as there's a hospital nearby.

I just, somewhere, I don't know. Always want something, don't you? Never satisfied, are you? Yeah, maybe not. Maybe not.

How about this for a name? Allegra Etheridge. Allegra. That's a mathematical thing, isn't it? That's not a name.

Allegra, is it? Allegra? Has anyone ever heard of a name like that? That's for a first name. Allegra. It's really interesting, I find.

It's not really interesting, but hearing people like older, the older generation, and there's one of my neighbours and I remember him saying to me, what is your Christian name? This is when I first moved in. My Christian name? Blimey. My first name is Jason.

My Christian name. And that's what it used to be called. Christian name in the 60s, 50s, 40s, 30s, probably 70s, even 80s maybe.

What is your Christian name? That's not your first name. Christian name. Obviously not all around the world, but I guess in other things.

What's your Jewish name? What's your Muslim name? What's your Sikh name? What's your Hindu name? What's your Buddhist name? What's your Mormon name? What's your Scientologist name? What's your Taoist name? What's your... I'm running out of religions here. There are hundreds and hundreds of different religions, I know, but I think I've covered most of them. Yeah, I've covered the top ones.

I know Scientology is not one of the top ones, but as far as... Well, it doesn't have billions of people, does it? It doesn't have millions and millions and millions of people following it. Can you imagine if it did? Wow. So I've got Ron Elsinger, and I'm just looking at my books.

Sorry. I like looking at my books. I don't know what it is about books.

I've always liked books. One day I'm going to read one. I am.

I'm going to actually open the pages and look inside and see if I can learn something. I wonder what it'd be like to learn something. Oh, it makes me horny just thinking about it.

Oh, learning something new. So yeah, I don't know what's... I know this isn't really relevant and no one's going to be interested, but I don't know what to do about the whole... I'm not sure what direction all the podcasts are going, really, because I made two podcasts today, one after another, but they're two different podcasts. One, Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis and the other one, Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily.

I say one after another, but I made two this morning. Yeah. This morning, lunchtime, you know, that kind of period of time.

Edited them. I spent ages editing the Whisper one. It didn't come out very well, so I had to edit it.

Yeah, so it took a while. I spent more time editing that recording than I did editing and uploading all the others. So anyway, so I ended up all uploading and I just basically released them all at the same time onto the different podcasts and it didn't really seem to make a dent in the stats at all.

And this is the six hours, seven, eight hours ago. Let me have a look. I'll tell you, I'll make sure this... Where is it? Oh, shut up.

Shut up. Clear completed. Okay.

Statistics. I still only got about half as much as I got yesterday, today. Yeah.

Yesterday, what did I do? One recording. And even with this one, because it's now nearly nine o'clock. Is it half nine, nine, nine, what? Ten, fourteen.

Blimey, I didn't realize it was that late. Time to bed. So the stats finish at one.

So I do this, upload this, edit it, upload it before I go to bed, probably, unless I'm too tired and I'll just go to bed anyway. I'll probably try and do this first. So that's three recordings released, three new recordings.

And I know no one wants to hear about the stats, which is why I keep mentioning them. But it's like, what? What's going on? I don't understand. I don't get it.

I do not understand. Why am I keep... They've got plastic there. My friend's dog came up here today.

I looked after him for a few hours and he just finds stuff on the floor and moves it around. Things I've kicked out of the way, you know, like just bits of plastic. And as my iPad going bing, bing, bing, bing again.

I think it's plugged into Instagram. So when everyone posts something on Instagram, it lights up. Which is a bit pointless.

And why would I want to know that? Why would I want to? Why would you want to know what I want to know or don't want to know about Instagram? Does anyone want to know? I guess I'm not really an Instagram person. Not really my thing. Not really.

I think I'd have embraced it 15 years ago. Because being what it is and how popular it is, and I would have really got into it. But in the same way that I really got into Facebook, never, never saw the point of Twitter.

I really didn't see the point of it. Especially in the early days when you could only write like a small amount of text. I didn't understand.

I kind of still don't really see the point. Okay, good for sharing stuff. But I remember God, wow, it's a few years back, some bloke started following me on Twitter.

And he started having a go at me. He kept posting messages to me saying, you really need to stop posting stuff. Other than just sharing your podcasts and your videos.

You need to post text and talk about yourself and post stuff. That's what Twitter is for. Why are you following me? If you don't like what I'm doing, why are you following me? You know, I have like 600 followers, I think on Twitter.

And probably five people actually read what I post. You know, it's, but what is telling me what I should post? That's very strange. I'm guessing it might have been like a 12 year old boy that was just decided he wanted to tell me what to do.

Maybe he's trying to help me. Maybe he was helping me. Maybe if I listened, I'd have 750 followers by now.

Who knows? I know all of this social networking and stuff really builds people and makes people millions and millions and millions and millions of money. And you know, it is the difference between being successful and not being successful for a lot of people. But for me, you know, Instagram was the one for pictures.

Well, I guess Instagram can be for pictures, can't it? I'm not going to post pictures of myself. There's no reason. I mean, yeah, if I want to scare people away.

If I want people to unsubscribe, yeah, I'll post pictures of myself. I mean, what? Facebook? I've stopped myself from biting on Facebook. You know, the amount of things that even now used to be much worse.

But even now, I see posts when I just think you opinionated, wangle bangle. And I want to like. And I think, no, what's the point? Let them keep that hate.

Let them, you know, let them just have their just, they clearly want to have an argument. And so I don't buy, I've bitten in the past and I've had arguments with people. And not huge rows, you know, like ongoing.

It's just all people have like reacted to something I've posted and I thought, well, if you don't like it, go away. So I kind of I've got out of that. Oh, man, I used to have, I remember years and years and years and years and years.

This is years and years ago. Years ago. Oh, squeaky chair.

Why every chair I get is squeaky. And if you notice that if you go through all the different podcasts over forever, every chair I get is squeaky. Unless it's my bum that's squeaking.

Nice chair, I think. I stand up now and I'm going to move around and see whether or not it's a chair to move the chair away and see, I'm just going to move my bum, see if it makes any noise. Oh, dear.

Oh, whoops. It is my bum. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I think that's what you call slapstick. I don't know. It's a visual visual order to blah, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, I used to get drunk and I'd write stuff that was just out of order, just for the sake of it, just have a splurge. And then I'd delete my page. And it was just like, oh, doing why would I do that? I just make such a big deal about nothing.

And I feel be feeling sorry for myself. I was like, well, first of all, if you're going to cancel your page on Facebook, I can say I can safely say this. Pretty much no one cares.

If you do that, there's going to be very few people that some people see close family, friends, if you just suddenly disappeared off the Facebook and the Facebook. And, you know, they used to communicate with you. Yeah, they're going to be concerned and worried and all that stuff.

But if you've got like thousands of people, you know, 5000 know what? Well, how many people have got 5000 close friends? In reality, you know? And it's the way I see is if you if you've got close family and friends, there are better ways to communicate than online using a public, you know, thing like Facebook. You know, telephones. Texting, I mean, isn't that more like a better way to communicate with someone that doesn't live near you? I suppose if you live in a different country, it's cheaper to use the Internet.

Yeah, I suppose. But then what's that app? This is apps for that now, though, isn't there? What's that app that my dad loves? What's crap? I said, what's crap? So you got what's crap? You can use that. You can talk, you can send texts, send private messages, set up groups, all kinds of stuff.

So, yeah, it's I mean, I don't have any family or friends on my Facebook page. And the amount of people that got upset with me, honestly, who's deleted me from Facebook. So we're no longer friends.

I actually had someone say that to me. They had a go at me. They sent me sent me a message saying you deleted me.

I said, no, that's right. I'm deleting everyone. I'm not having friends or family on Facebook.

And she said, we're no longer friends then. Because it's like, why? This is a website. Do you not realize it's a website? It's not real.

It's just pixels on a screen. Do you not understand that? Is that complicated? It's not real. It's just a website, you know, not something to be emotionally involved with, to you know, it's to base your friendship upon.

If someone deletes or blocks you on Facebook, it doesn't mean anything apart from the meaning you give to it. Of course, some people might be doing that because they don't want to know you anymore, which is fine. That's up to them.

There was seven, seven billion people on this planet. Why would you get too attached to one particular person? You know, people come and go. That's life.

But I don't want them to go. I need them in my life forever and ever and ever. No, you don't.

It might feel like that, but you don't. You don't. Just move on.

Get a different friend. That is quite good what Facebook does offer though. You can have what seems like real friendships with people that you may never meet.

There's people that I've never, I'm probably never going to meet in my life that I've actually got respect for and I actually, I like. I'm never going to meet them, probably, unless I go to their country and search for them. I've been coming to search for you.

I mean, there's people listening now that, that may be listening for a while and you feel you know me a bit, you know, because I do, I overshare, let's face it, I overshare and perhaps I need to stop doing that maybe. But chances of us meeting is probably practically zero, which is weird, I know, but, but what do you expect? I'm a superstar. I'm famous.

I'm famous to seven people. That makes me famous. Seven people know who I am.

Blimey, seven listeners. I don't do too bad really, do I, for seven listeners. But I wonder, is this, so, yesterday I got, I think, what, eleven and a half thousand downloads, today so far six and a half thousand, or seven thousand, just under seven thousand.

So, so far, so it might go up to ten by one o'clock, I don't know, probably not, but I doubt it. Three thousand in, what, three hours, it's possible, I suppose, two and a half hours. But it just makes you think like, well, maybe, what would happen if people stopped listening? What would I do? What would I do? I don't know.

That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Because I've been doing this for so long, I kind of don't know anything else. Just, it sometimes feels like it's the only time I can just be myself. The different versions of myself, I guess, but, you know, myself.

And, I don't know, I kind of, I wonder what that'll be like in the future. I kind of have these little fantasies about me still doing this when I'm in my 80s, you know, and just talking about whatever's going on in my life, and, you know, oh, I got one, I've had my last tooth removed, my last ever tooth, or something like that. And just, what kind of person I will be when I'm, you know, in 30 years time.

Will I be happier? Will I be grumpier? Will I be, what will I sound like? Will I sound like this? Or will I still have, sort of, the sexy voice, you know? The sexy voice. I don't know. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? I mean, will I be fat? Will I be slim? Will I be skinny? Will I, I mean, who knows? Will I have all my legs, you know? Who knows? What's going to happen? It'd be very strange.

Will I still be living here or will I live somewhere nice? I don't know. Hopefully, I'll have moved away from here by then. Otherwise, well, those stairs might be a problem when I'm 80.

I don't know how, you know, I don't know how mobile I'm going to be. Hopefully, I'll still be mobile, but you don't know, do you? There's no way of knowing. Can't predict the future that way.

I can try and prepare, you know, to give myself a stair lift or something, but, you know, a stair master, like Stanna Stairlifts. Stanna, that's what they're called. Yeah.

Oh, today, we haven't talked about politics, but the Prime Minister quit. So we'll have a new Prime Minister probably next week, which will be the third Prime Minister in three months. Three Prime Ministers in three months.

It's July. I think it was July. Well, it's not really, is it? Because he was still Prime Minister in August.

He was still Prime Minister Alexander Johnson. He was Alexander Boris Johnson. He was Alexander Boris, Gertrude, Olivia, Jemima Johnson.

I don't know how many different names he has. He's a bit of an aristocrat, kind of born into the, it's kind of, I think he's like old money. He's born into old money, born from old money.

There's a lot of politicians like that. You know, they don't need to work. They don't need to do anything if they don't want to.

But they'd be bored and they want to be in charge. They want to control people. And they've been told from early life that they are important and destined for high things.

You've been born, you're destined, you're going to be important. You're going to be very important. Now, get on with your homework.

Eat all your greens up. Imagine that. I can't even imagine it.

I can imagine it, but I don't, I can't really, really imagine it. To be told that, you know, as a child, you're important. Just being told you can do anything you put your mind to.

I never got told that. But in that case, I'm going to fly. In that case, I'm going to, I'm going to turn into a dolphin.

No, that's not quite what I meant, Jason. You can't turn into a dolphin. Well, you could say I can do anything I put my mind to.

OK, well, you're clearly going to be a pedantic for the rest of your life. So maybe you should concentrate on, you know, focusing on jobs that require pedanticism. If that's a word, pedanticism, you little pedantic, little pedanca.

I can be a bit pedantic, literal, to the point, want things done properly, expect things done properly, especially with jobs. Like when I was at work, I used to like, well, do it properly. If you're going to do something, do it properly.

Don't be a blagger. Don't just make do and do the minimum. Do what you can and be the best that you can in the job.

I never did that myself. I'm saying this how I expected other people to be. I couldn't give two hoots.

I did very little. I did the least I could do. But other people, I had high expectations.

And relax. So I'm going to go. I've chatted enough rubbish for one day.

Thank you for listening. Remember, remember to be kind to yourself. Remember to be gentle.

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to be happy. Don't you? Don't you deserve a break? Let go of that crap from the past.

Look to the future. Lots of love. Bye.