#860 Let me bore you to sleep - My podcasts are now louder - Jason Newland

Well, hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And my website's jasonnewland.com where you can stream all my latest recordings from all my various podcasts.

So, so I don't know if you noticed, you might not have noticed, you might be interested, you might not care, but I have made some changes. Yum, yum, they're very yummy changes, I hope. So for ages and ages and ages, I've had people moaning at me, sending me messages, moaning that the recordings are too quiet.

And to be honest, I've been moaning at myself because they have been too quiet. And I've done so many things, so many things to try to increase the volume, but without making it sound awful. And, you know, I have increased it compared to what it used to be like.

But one of the problems is, firstly, the microphone I use, it records quite softly, even though I've got a booster, cloud booster thing that I use, it still doesn't record very loud. And part of the reason for that is because it only really records, well, it, it kind of concentrates on what's in front of it, rather than background sounds, which is part of the reason I got it. I do have other microphones, and I've got another one that actually is quite a bit louder.

But that one does pick up more of the background sounds. There's like a toss up, as it were, a metaphorical toss up. And I'm just looking at them and I'm thinking, who's going to eat the biscuit? You know, it's like, I don't know, I can't choose.

So I'm sticking with the one that I've been using for the last year, has it been a year, maybe less, since I've had this microphone. And it's the one, it's the one, it's the one that Joe Rogan uses, not his actual microphone, I'm not stoling it from him. He lends it to me in the evenings.

Because me and Joe are like that, but like close friends. I did a physical, a visual, but you can't see me, can you? Yeah, you're lucky. Lucky.

There's only one thing worse than seeing me and that would be smelling me. Oh, I whiff. Oh, no, I don't.

I'm not sure. I don't think so. So what I've done, I'll be looking for ages and ages and ages at ways to increase the volume of my podcasts without having to learn how to do it.

Now, the amount of hours of research I put into this, I probably could have learned how to do it myself using software in that, during that time. But I've got a bit of an aversion to using software, like editing. I can use, I can, I'm editing, I do editor recording, so I can use basic editing software for audio and for video.

And I have been doing for, you know, many, many years. But I don't, I just, I'm not hugely interested in learning the intricacies of it. I'd rather someone else do it.

You know, I'd rather, not someone else, but I'd rather, well, yeah, someone or something else do it. So I've been doing a little bit of research over the months and I've found somewhere online that masters the recording. So by, by masters it, it takes the original recording and makes it compatible for podcasting.

So it increases the volume, decreases the parts, try, it gets rid of background sounds as much as possible, makes it so it's not, doesn't spike too much, doesn't go too low, you know, all that stuff, all that groovy stuff. And I did my first recording, I think it was yesterday, let me boy to sleep one. And then today I've done, this is my second recording.

So I did a relax and sleep hypnosis daily recording. Moving stairs, that one's called. So I've, I've done the editing and mastered that one and just uploaded it.

And now I'm going to record this one. And then I'll basically, here's the process. I'll record it, which is what I'm doing as we speak, you know, now, this, this is it, me recording, talking, recording.

So I'm recording this on my iPad, using, I don't know what it's called. Anyway, using a digital recording box thing, a cloud booster for the mic and a Shure, Shure microphone on a big stand thing, one of those arm stand things, you know, that move around. It's attached to the desk and it's getting dusty.

So it must've been a while. So when I, when I record it on some software or some, you know, on the iPad, when it's finished, I then, now I do things differently to how I used to do it. But now, I don't know.

I don't know why that's funny. I seem to have a weird giggle thing going on. Anyway, then I save it as a WAV file, W A V. I used to call it WAV, but apparently it's WAV, I suppose, hence the no e on the end.

Then, so I save it as a WAV file. Then, so I save it onto iCloud. Then I turn around and go to my laptop, which is on a desk behind me.

And once it's, it takes sometimes a few minutes for it to be available on the iCloud from other sources. So I've got access to the iCloud from my laptop. I download it.

From the iCloud to the laptop. I then, I've also changed the name at this point, so I know what the title is. And I make it like the original version.

Then I put it through this online processor, which I have to pay for. Well, I don't have to pay, but if I want to use it, I have to pay for it. And it's about 99 euros a month, something like that for 100 hours.

So then what I do is put in the, I don't put in the coordinates, I just let it just do its own thing. But I click a few bits and bobs and it produces a master version, but as an MP3. So it's a much smaller file.

I could have it come out as a WAV if I wanted, but doesn't seem any, necessarily any reason to need to do that. It just means it'd be a much, much, much larger file. So I have it downloaded as an MP3.

And then once it processes it and I can check it and it gives me a chance to compare the original version to the new version. So I can just skip through and play and check this how I want it to be. Now the aim is to have it loud enough to listen to on 50% of volume.

That's the plan. And that's, it basically coordinates it so it's supposed to be correct for podcasts. So what I do then is I upload it to the iCloud again.

And then I turn, I turn around to this desk. Oh, at the same time, I've got the other iPad and I'm sharing the podcasts to YouTube. And I'll be sharing all my podcasts to YouTube.

So that's taking weeks to do. Once that's done, then I'll decide what I'm going to do with the channel. But I thought it just gives people a chance to listen to them on YouTube if they want.

So then I, but at this point, I haven't edited the file at all. So the beginning, any bits, um, like the end, you know, I have to edit it, those bits out. Also, for example, during the recording, I did the relax and sleep, yeah, relax and sleep hypnosis daily recording today.

There was a point where I stopped the recording. And I'm not sure why, actually, I can't remember now, but I stopped it and then I re-recorded, then I carried on recording. But because I didn't want to lose that part, I clapped my hands so I could delete it.

I wonder why did I, unless I, oh, I hope, you know, one day I'm just going to swear and I'll kind of forget I've done it. But hey, it doesn't matter. By the way, you know, I don't know if I, I don't feel I should need to say this, but these Let Me Boy To Sleep podcasts are not to be taken seriously.

It's just me messing about, you know, I don't really hold any views about anything, really. I am permanently on the fence about everything. I have splinters to show you.

Honestly, I'm always on the fence. I don't, I don't take extreme views. I can't see, I don't see the point.

I can kind of see both, I can see more than both sides. I can see from every angle, you know, someone's opinion. Okay.

And a lot of people, it's like, okay, it's valid. It's a bit dumb, but it's a bit valid. And I like saying dumb things.

It amuses me. I don't know why, it just does. It's, I like to sound dumber than I actually really am.

And that's a challenge. It's a real challenge to sound even dumber than I actually am in real life. So yeah, I think I should, I should get a bit of credit for that.

So then what I do is I edit the recording. I save that as an MP3. Then I make a version with background music.

And what I've done is I've had to increase the background music. So that's all kind of compatible. So I make the background music one, then I make a recording that's five hours long, and then one that's 10 hours long.

Then I upload them. Now these recordings have got the date and everything in the title. So now when I upload stuff online to the podcast, I don't put the title or my name in.

Yeah, I don't put the date or my name in the title. I take that out. And for the actual podcast itself, so for example, Relax and Sleep, Hypnosis Daily, I've just it's, I think it was like number 169.

Relax. I don't know whatever the title was. Yeah.

Stairs. What was it? Slowly Downstairs or whatever. And that's it.

That's the title. And then the five hour one or the one with music brackets music before the rest of the title and brackets five hours before the next one like that. So you can see straight away on a podcast because not all podcasts show the length of the podcast.

Some do, some don't. So I thought I'd put it in the title so you can see which one's 10 hours, which one's five hours. And on the actual podcast itself, I cut out the Relax and Sleep, Hypnosis Daily part.

So it's just basically the title. Nothing else, because you don't need anything else, because you're on that podcast. You kind of know what it is.

When I share that recording on other podcasts where I've got multiple different podcasts on, I leave the whole title in, apart from the date and my name. Because the date is in, when I upload it anyway, because that shows and my name. I don't think I need to say my name.

Say my name, say my name, say my name. It might be a good reason, it might be good to have my name on there for Google. I don't know.

I'll see if it makes a difference and I'll put it back in. But there's no point having the date. It just seems a bit pointless.

So, you know, I'm trying to just make the titles shorter. So that when you go, if it's Spotify, because sometimes I look at the titles and like, if it doesn't show you the length, you don't know what length it is. Because it's like the same.

It's like number 43, 43, Dambi Dambi Dambi, Hypnosis, Bingy Bongy Bong Bong Bong, and then my name and then the date, which is right at the end. And that's you can't see that because the podcast doesn't show it. You have to click on it to get the full title, because it's too long, which is something I've never heard anyone tell me.

And apart from my nose. So I, I think if it makes it easier for people to see the length right at the beginning. If people knew the length right at the beginning, it'd save, well just save a lot of money on dates really, wouldn't it? You know, if it's like it's two inches, do you want to go for a meal before we even go to the restaurant? No.

Okay, cool. That's just saved me 60 quid. Take, take care.

Bye. Yeah, yeah. Bye.

Bye. Love you. Yeah.

Bye. So hopefully that's useful to have the, the length of the recording right at the beginning of the podcast in the title, rather than at the end where you can't see it, depending on which podcast host you use or app. What other things? Just trying to, I don't know if any of this is even worth even if it is, if it's useful or not.

I don't know if it's useful me doing stuff like that, but I'm just trying to look at things through different eyes and I like to know what's what. I kind of like to be able to look at the podcast and, okay, how long is it? That's 10 hours long. So that's the one I want to listen to because they're the ones that people quite often more popular than the, the shorter ones for some reason.

But now, hopefully, hopefully the, and I, I'm kind of asking for some feedback on this, if it's possible, just, just on the, on the, the volume is a volume. Okay. Does it sound okay? And because I'm investing money in improving all this stuff and that's like a monthly thing.

So it's an extra, not nearly a hundred euros. I don't know what that is in pounds. I have no idea.

I really don't know. I think it's euros. It might, maybe it's dollars or pounds.

I'm not sure. It might be pounds, actually. Anyway, it's about a hundred pounds.

So that's, you know, that's a fair amount to spend. Just, oh, it's, it's, it's worth it. If it means that the volume is a better, because I was, I was testing it out.

I tested it out for a couple of days before I actually started using it. And I kind of played around with it to make sure that I was happy with how it sounded. And I tested it on different apps as well.

And the difference in sound, in volume between literally yesterday's recording and today's, not, not today's, but yesterday when I was doing it, that recording, the volume compared to two days ago and five days ago, whenever the last recording I did. And last week and last month, it's just, the volume is, it's kind of almost like double the volume. Maybe not double, but it's, it's louder, much louder.

And, and the volume wasn't on loud. It was on like half, about 50%. I don't have, I don't generally have the volume on loud when I listen to things.

I think 50% is a good, for me personally, is a good volume for listening to something. Yeah, it's nice to pump up the music sometimes. And if I do that, I put my headphones on.

But generally when it comes to listening to an audio book or a podcast, I listen to podcasts as well. And it's, I like to learn new things. I like, I think it's because I'm an auditory person, I'm an auditory person.

Although I do get a kick out of visual things as well. So, you know, I do like watching movies, but I think I appreciate, I appreciate movies like with special effects and stuff, you know, the Marvel films. But I also appreciate the humour that's in them.

And so I quite like to, I think when I'm watching a movie, listening is, it might be more important than the actual visuals for me. I don't know. I guess it depends on what I'm watching.

Yeah, I don't know, maybe. But so anyway, I went off in a different direction. I don't know what I was talking about there.

So this is, this is what I've been doing the last few days, trying to test this out and see if it works okay. And I can, I can tinker around with it and make changes, but it seems to be okay. Yeah, it seems to have kind of worked out.

The last two recordings I've done seem to have come out okay in the end, which is, which I'm pleased about. It's just more, more to do, which is okay. I don't mind.

It's just, it's just more like remembering what order to do things and how I'm saving stuff and organising, because there's quite a bit of organisation involved in making sure that things are in the right place and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean? Blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm trying to make things a bit better with the podcasts and make them sound a bit better. But the thing is, I'm not, I don't talk loudly.

It's, it's soft talking generally. And I don't think shouting at people to get to sleep is, I don't see how that would work, work. So I'm just going to have a drink of a Coca Cola.

So that's that anyway, if you could perhaps let me know. Maybe go to my website and just leave a message for me. Let us know if the, if the volume's okay.

If it sounds okay. Right. Now, I don't know what country you're listening and I need to correct something as well.

I said the other day that the majority of my listeners are in America. And as an individual country, the majority is in America. So that's true.

But it's not 80% like I thought. I really am spread out and covered in jelly. No, I'm really I'm spread out.

And I don't, God, I just got a bad visual. Isn't it weird? I made myself feel a little by visual. Visualising myself and bending over.

Oh, I got two things to tell you. That's, that's, that's not one of them. I had, that's so annoying.

I got so much to tell you, but it's not enough time. I stick to my hour. I do.

I try and I try. It's the, it's the only professional thing I do is by sticking to a time. The rest is just unprofessional and childish.

As I hope you noticed, because it's supposed to be, this is not supposed to be serious. Even if I talk about a serious subject, it's not supposed to be serious. It's just me being a child, just me being immature.

Okay, that's all it is. And for the rest of the people that are just zoning out and bored and falling asleep. Cool.

But you know, some people do listen, actually listen to the recording. For some reason. So, you know, I have to cater for everybody.

So I try. It's impossible to I know it's impossible. I do try.

I do try to, um, I try and keep things light. I don't always, but I try sometimes, you know, go off on one and perhaps talk about stuff that maybe I shouldn't talk about and say things I don't mean just for the sake of it and whatever. And maybe talk about things that are a bit heavy, but generally, I'd say 99% of the time, it's light, gentle, try and be gentle and calm and loose and frisky.

You know what I mean? You know, I mean, you know, you know. So, um, I just sometimes make a podcast and I think, oh, did I go because I talked about Spanish people lisping and just just mucking around. And then I went online and I researched it.

And because there's this theory that there was a Spanish premier, like a king or something, and he had a speech impediment. And when it sounds absolutely ridiculous when you hear it out loud, when you say out loud or hear it, you can only hear it out loud, can't you? You can say it internally. You can't hear it internally.

Not if I'm saying it and you're listening. I mean. So anyway, there was this king in Spain and he, this is the, this is the story.

He had a speech impediment and he had a lisp or stutter or something, and he was very self-conscious of it, like anyone would be. I stutter sometimes. I do.

When I get a bit nervous and stuff, I stutter. So, um, see, I'll laugh at stuttering, but I don't laugh at people that stutter. There's a difference.

There's a big, big difference between that. It's like making fun of a situation, not making fun of a person. I make fun of myself.

I'm the only person I really make fun of. Although I am going to talk about Boris Johnson in a minute. So, you know, Oh yeah.

So this king did not like people talking normally around him. It's weird. Like talk, like I say, normally people, he didn't want people talking without stutter.

So he insisted on everyone talks with a stutter or with a lisp or with a speech impediment so that he didn't feel self-conscious. Now I, in reality, wouldn't it go the other way? Because if someone's got a stutter and you start talking with a stutter to them, they're going to think you're making fun of them, ain't they? Off with his head. You know, so apparently I've done a bit of research online.

Apparently that's bull. That never happened. But the reason for it is, and they don't call it the Spanish stutter or the Spanish lisp.

It's actually got a word Syrian and it's basically, it's just a dialect, just as in the same way that the English language is completely different to how it was 200 years ago. You know, if you think of Shakespeare, the way that they talked in Shakespeare time, if you think of the way that they talked in Charles Dickens and that, you know, I mean, the kind of language that was used, people don't speak like that anymore. I mean, I guess some people do, but you know, generally, there's a few backward places, but generally people don't, we don't speak like that.

It's the language has evolved and the language is still evolving. And I'm being left out because the younger generation are using words and phrases that I don't understand because they're not real, they're making them up. But then that's what Shakespeare did.

He made words up. A lot of writers have done that, haven't they? Every word has been made up at some point. So, you know, there's a political words like Brexit and there's phrases that are used by politicians and they just always use them over and over again.

One phrase is not fit for purpose. And sometimes I see people say it, you know, years and years after it was being said. It's just that phrase was used for the first time a few years back.

Well, I noticed it and it's been used. Politicians, you can see them almost gushing inside when they say it. They feel really proud of themselves.

I just said, it's not fit for purpose. And then there's the let me be clear. I just said, let me be clear.

It's not fit for all purpose. You can see that they're almost orgasming. It's like they're so excited with themselves.

What other ones, what other words, phrases are there? Oh, yeah. Unprecedented. That was one that was used a hell of a lot during 2020, 2021.

This is and we're in unprecedented times. And now the new thing is, what is it? The everything's a crisis. So the fuel crisis, the price of living crisis, the crisis, that's the new thing.

It's almost comical to watch. It's like they think that the general public are very, very, very dumb. That the politicians, that's what the news stations and newspapers, I think they really believe the general public are just so easy to control.

They may be right. I don't know. But they really, really don't respect the public.

I know that for one one hundred percent. I'm not sure if any politicians respect the public. And you said you're going to keep it light.

OK, I'm sorry. So now I'm thinking about politics because today our prime minister, Mr. Alexander Boris Johnson has resigned. The Boris has resigned.

The has resigned. And it's been a good day, actually, because I've got nothing personal against the man. I wouldn't, I could not, would not and could not do what he does.

I'm not talking about lying, you know, continuously. You know, I'm talking about everyone in the country. Not that he does it on his own.

You know, he has a little bit of help, a little bit of help. I'm pretty sure if I had that much support, I could do quite a few things that I wouldn't be able to do on my own. Without that many people, climbing Everest would be easier, wouldn't it? You literally build a ramp, build a little train up there with the amount of people he's got working for him, working with him, hundreds and thousands of people behind the scenes.

Anyway, so he, yesterday, see, I realise people in other countries, you've got your own, you've got your own politicians to laugh at. So it's, it's probably not that interesting, but I used to try to explain that to some of my American friends who, and also a friend who's obsessed with American politics, try to explain to him that we've got our own politics, we've got our own politicians, we've got our own clowns to deal with. You know, let's focus on what they're doing.

You know, if we're going to focus on American politics, or then Canadian politics, Mexican politics, German politics, hopefully we never have to focus on German politics again. But you know, it's like, I think there's enough going on here. It's too much to try and keep track of what every country's doing.

It's interesting. It is interesting. Some of the things that happen in America is, we always hear about the extreme stuff over here.

But I'm pretty sure, I was talking about this to a friend the other day. Now, I'd like to come to America one day, and it's, if you, if you're born in England, right, or if you grew up here, like, it's sort of my age, it's going to be a bit different for someone younger, but not that much different really. But we, and I've spoken about this before, during my childhood, there were so many American TV shows on.

During my early childhood, there's so many American singers and bands. And you know, of course, there's lots of English bands as well. Lots of English TV shows as well.

But that was it. It was American and English. If there was any foreign, there was occasional foreign film, they'd be called the foreign film, and it'd be Spanish or French.

And people would only watch it because it might have nudity. That was, that's pretty much it. But I suppose people that were French would watch it, perhaps.

So, I actually quite like some of the French films because they're very, although it had subtitles, which isn't always easy to read on a small television. I used to like some of the conversations that it'd have. It'd be very deep, very philosophical.

I quite like that. I didn't used to get that much with our films. Well, to me, I didn't really.

Yeah. Anyway, plus there was nudity. The, what am I talking about? The politics.

I think there's such a connection between England and America, from our perspective. I'm not, I know we've got a history, obviously, because, you know, America has just celebrated their independence a couple of days ago from us, you know, on the July the 4th, which was what, Sunday? Or Monday, one of them. So, 7th today, Thursday, 6th, Wednesday, 5th, Tuesday, 4th, Monday, 4th.

Why is it that counting backwards is so much harder than counting forwards? See, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 3, 4. See, it's weird, isn't it? So, I'm pretty sure if I, because if you watch the news, if you watch the TV, all we see when it comes to the news of America. Actually, I'm not even going to say what we see, because you're going to know straight away when I say it. That's all.

Outside of politics, that's all we see on the news. When something horrible happens, that's it, really. We don't, you know, we really don't see much else about America.

Maybe if there's extreme weather or something like that. So, I wonder what you see about us, what they see about us, what kind of things, not just America, but other countries think about England. Now, I would say UK, but I know my passport says UK, but that could mean anything.

I mean, that could mean I live in another country. You know, I could live in Ireland and be from the UK, the northern part, or be Scottish or be Welsh or be, live on the Isle of Wight or the Isle of Man or Guernsey. There's a few places, isn't there, as part of the United Kingdom, like other countries, other islands.

That's, for me, that's like, saying you're from the UK doesn't mean anything. Like, you could be anywhere. How many parts of the UK are there? Like 5,000? And America used to be part of that.

And Australia and India and Africa. We're crazy, aren't we? We've really gone downhill, haven't we? We've given a lot of property up, a lot of land. Oh dear.

That all happened long before I was born. I am not responsible for any of it. No, no, I'm not.

I do find it interesting. It's weird. It's, the, I don't know if you've seen this, there's a, I watch Disney Plus.

Now, not because of the Disney films or Disney cartoons, although the Marvel shows and films are now owned by Disney, produced by Disney, I think. So, or produced in the Marvel Studios, but they're owned by Disney. They got a Mrs. Marvel or, no, Mrs. Marvel, Mrs. Marvel or Ms. Marvel.

And it's a real, it's focusing on an American girl born into, born from a Bangladesh family, like immigrants from Bangladesh, and she was born in America. And it's focusing more on that, on her culture, religion and the partition that happened in India back in, after the Second World War or sometime, I forget. To talk about that, that's what they're focusing on way more than the fact that she's got powers.

It's almost like the powers aren't even, it's like secondary, because they're trying to get a message across. They want to, like, they want to teach the audience about the partition and about what happened. And in a way, I'm kind of, I'm not grateful because I didn't, I didn't really know about the partition.

I, you know, I'd, I probably learnt it at school, but I didn't take any notice when I was at school. But then I went onto YouTube and I watched a few documentaries on the partition. And, you know, I don't want to go into it here, but, you know, it's like, wow, okay.

That was the, you know, the politics behind it. And it was just ridiculous. Just, yeah.

I don't watch, I watch a YouTube video to learn something new and I watched a few documentaries. And if they're all saying the same thing, then I know that it's very likely to be true. And if it's a professor of history, you know, then like, okay, because, you know, anyone can make a YouTube video, can't they? So it doesn't mean it's going to be real or the information is going to be true.

And then I do a bit of research online and I kind of do a bit of fact check in and double check stuff. So I just get, so I've got a rough idea about what happened at the partition in India. And I got mildly interested in it for a couple of days.

The interest is gone, I'll be honest, but it was there for a little bit. Because there was a big thing about saying that someone's from India or Indian, if they're from Bangladesh and they're not like, you should know the difference, but there is a difference. But they were Indian 50 years ago or whatever, it was part of India.

I mean, you could use that same argument for Ukraine, can't you? I guess different parts that were part of the Russian place. So it's like, oh, okay. I'm not saying everyone's the same, but they are like, I'm, I don't know what I'd be classed as.

I'm not white. I'm pink, but I'm not white. I'm not a white person.

I've got pink skin. So red Indian, probably, probably not red Indian, that's not the right term, but I think I'm Cherokee or something. I'm not even joking.

I think I must have go far back enough. I think I must've come from some kind of indigenous. So I might actually be more American than a lot of people listening here.

I might be one of the original Americans that ended up coming over here, or my ancestors, I mean, not me. So yeah, I'm definitely, I would say got Cherokee. Put it this way, if you put my dad, dressed him up as like, you know, the old movies, who dressed him up as a red Indian, you wouldn't question it.

I mean, you question it now because it's racist, isn't it? But I'm just saying if, if you, plus he probably wouldn't be too happy himself if he woke up dressed like that. I now imagine him dancing. Okay.

But it's, I do believe that I probably am original. It's like, oh, you might, I'm not making fun of Cherokees. Is it Cherokees? Cherubs? You know, what they used to be called red Indians, but now indigenous.

I don't know what the correct terminology is. So if you're angry, then tough, because I just don't know what the term, I just can't remember. You know, we can't, not to say Igloo people anymore, are we? What do we call them? Igloos, you know, whatever we used to call them.

We have to call them something else. Why? How are they going to know? They're living in an igloo in the North Pole or in Iceland or like in the middle of nowhere. I don't have televisions.

They're living in an igloo. That'd be dangerous. Can't have a television inside a block of ice.

They're not going to find out that people on the other side of the world are calling them, you call them bebops or bebops. That's not rude, is it? You could call them anything. Snow walkers.

That's what they do. They walk on snow, don't they? Why do I keep thinking Egyptian? It's not the right word, not igloos. I can't remember the name, just because we're not allowed to say it anymore.

I kind of, I erased it from my vocabulary. I used to know the name because I used to want to be one. You want to be everything, Jason, don't you? Not everything, darling, not everything.

I did want to be, because during, in 19, in 19, God, I was going back in time again. Yeah, he's trying to just distract from what he was saying because it was coming across really bad. No, I just, it's hard.

It's hard to try and keep up to date with the new terminology and people, if only, if only like the, those that get upset over people using the old phrases and the old words, if only they realized that people are not saying it to be cruel or harmful most of the time. Some people do, of course, but most people don't. It's just the words that they're used to using, the phrases that they grew up learning and they were taught this stuff from a, being from birth and using those words to describe certain individual groups.

It's not that they're, it's sometimes people forget, you know, it's like, there's so many rules now. About what people want to be called and, you know, and just, I think it's hard. It's, I don't care too much because I know in my heart, I'm not out to hurt anyone or upset anyone.

I'm not out to cause problems. I'm just, I just say whatever I want and that's it. You know, it doesn't matter.

I'm not important. So it doesn't matter what I say, but I'm not out to harm anyone. I'm not out to upset people.

So I know that as long as I know that and people, you see people that want to get upset, will get upset. They will always find something to get upset over. It's like if you, if you're going on a long car journey and you decide to keep track of, you can say, I know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to look out for yellow cars, yellow cars. I rarely see a yellow car. What if I see anyone on this hundred mile journey? You'll see so many yellow cars.

It's ridiculous. It's just, it's just what you focus on, isn't it? It's what you notice, what you look out for. So someone is always looking out to be offended.

They're going to find it all the time. And I've met people that were like ill, you know, sort of to the point of maybe being paranoid, aren't very reactive. And I've been a bit like that myself in the past.

And they question everything. What did you say? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? It's like, you can't be around someone like that. What do you mean by that? What are you saying? See ya.

Bye. You can't, there's no point spending any time with someone like that. Let them do it a couple of times.

Let them get away with it. Once they do it for fifth time, that's it. Break contact.

That's it. They're not worth it because it's just hassle. It's not worth the hassle.

What do you mean? It's not worth the hassle. What are you saying about me? Oh, it's cold today, isn't it? What? What do you feel I'm wearing too many clothes? What? You feel I'm not wearing enough clothes? I said no, should we open the windows? What do I smell? You know, it's like, no, stop it. I'm not talking about you.

I'm just saying I'm going to open the window and let a bit of air in. What, because it's stuffy because of my feet? No. What, you find me farting too much? Well, yeah, but that's not the reason.

I love the smell of your farts. One of the reasons I invite you in it. It's my favourite thing about you.

That was a weird sentence. What do you like most about me, Jason? Your farts. Oh, but I don't fart.

You do when you're asleep. I didn't know that. No one told me that before.

No one's told you. Really? Blimey, you don't stop. How often? Like, all the time.

It's like a machine gun for about seven hours solid. And you moan at me snoring. See, I listen to that all night and eventually I get to sleep.

And after five minutes of being asleep, you nudge me awake because I'm snoring, because I'm keeping you awake. What about your farting? I never nudge you when you're farting. I'm a bit scared in case you have an accident, but I don't, I never, I never nudge you.

I don't, it's, you know. I said that like I've got a girlfriend and I haven't. I wonder why.

I wonder why. I wonder why. All I want is to be loved.

Because I'm a baby. I can't be on my own. I don't like my own company.

I need to be with someone all the time. I'm a baby. I'm a baby.

I can't sleep on my own. Rawr! Rawr! No, I'm not a baby. I'm childish, but I'm not a baby.

Oh, I need to be cuddled. No, I don't. I really don't.

I haven't needed to be cuddled since I was a, since I was a small child. I haven't needed cuddling. I haven't needed burping either.

I haven't needed to have myself changed. I haven't needed anyone to wipe my bum. I welcome it, but no one will do it.

I ask, but yeah, I haven't needed anyone to do it. That's kind of the only thing I've got left to look forward to. Oh, yeah.

So, quickly, I've only got a couple of minutes. Last night, I was walking the dog, my friend's dog. He's been unwell.

He can't leave the house. So, I've taken his dog for a walk last couple of days, gone to the shop for him, you know, just to make sure he's okay. And I took his dog for a walk.

And I've been walking him for the last couple of days. And I've taken his dog for a walk the night before, fine. I took his dog for a walk last night into the fields.

And there was a dog off the lead, running towards us. I shout to the owner, can you put your dog on the lead? She said, okay, but she couldn't. She was running after the dog.

The dog was running right at us. Only a little dog. He was no harm to anyone.

But the dog I was with wanted to eat that little dog. And I ended up on the floor, holding that dog down. And it's a big, strong, bull terrier, strong thing.

Like, stronger than a human really. It's like a torso with legs. If you imagine that, it's just what a dog is like, isn't it? It's like a torso, but just with legs.

And the strength. Anyway, I really, I was wrestling on the floor to stop the dog that I was with from biting the other dog. Really, really, really, nothing bad happened.

But then he broke the chain. He actually broke the chain on his, you know, on his neck, broke the lead, but I still managed to grab him and stop him. And she came running up about 10 minutes later.

No, she can't, she, I said, she got the dog, put it on the lead, and I was holding him down. And I said, can you please pick your dog up and hold him in your arms, please just, and just carry on walking, but hold him in your arms, just in case this one got free. Because he won't attack a human, he won't hurt a human.

A human hurt a human. So the dog's safe in her arms. And it was just awful.

And I managed to get him home. I was aching, my arms, my shoulders, my arms, both arms, my back, my legs, my lower back is almost like I've gone back a year in time, my back is hurting so much. And I literally had to use all my strength to subdue that dog.

It took everything, every ounce of my strength to hold that dog down. And that dog was in frenzy mode. Now, I saw that I took the dog home.

Today, dog didn't come anywhere near me, normally runs up all excited to see me. I think, I think that he's not happy with the fact that I beat him in a fight. Now, I didn't hurt him, I didn't do anything, I just held him down very hard.

And he didn't like that. And I stopped him and I won. And I think he might have thought that he was in charge of me before.

But now he knows that I'm not in charge of him, but he's not in charge of me either. I'm so excited I beat up a dog. I didn't beat up a dog, I'd never hurt an animal.

But I held him, I managed to hold him down. And I don't, he didn't like it. Really didn't like it.

And I think he's, I'm not sure if he likes me anymore after that. Weird, isn't it? Or he's a bit cautious of me. Or he knows he can't just do what he wants anymore.

Because we can't walk through me, if you know what I mean. But I'm aching. Proper aching.

I feel like I've been to the gym for the first time in like years. And I work out with my weights regularly. So it's, it's weird.

I was, I was using muscles that I don't normally use, I guess. I was twisting and turning and I was on the floor and, and I really, really ache. But that's it.

That's what I did. I share that with you. That would have been a longer story, but I need to finish the recording.

I want to watch Question Time on television. So it's where politicians talk about the day and because it's been such a momentous day, I want to see what they've got to say. Yeah.

So I might talk a bit more about that tomorrow. So thank you for listening and remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye. Ah, I said Eskimos.

Eskimos. But Inuit, actually. So Eskimos.

Apparently it's not right. 50 years of calling them Eskimos. Mind you, I've not really said the word Eskimo for probably 30 years, but now I've said it quite a few times.

Eskimo, Eskimo, Eskimo, Eskimo, Inuit, Inuit, Inuit, Inuit. Cool. Inuit it is.

I mean, if I ever go to Greenland. Oh, I'm going. Bye.