#875 Its just a name - Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (4th August 2022)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You to Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and this is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, boring podcast. And it's supposed to be, it is actually supposed to be boring.

So please enjoy feeling incredibly bored as I tell you about my life, my so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, boring life. And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I'm recording this during the day so there's a chance, there's more chance of background sounds such as planes and maybe the odd helicopter and Horace the Pigeon may visit me.

Other than that perhaps a knock at the door, the post being delivered, clattering and clickering and clattering, clattering, clickering, clattering, what the heck's that about? So there may be some sounds in the background. I should tell you about my website. I wouldn't bother going to it but it's jasonnewland.com, it's just a website.

How is that for a promotion? Yeah, yeah, visit it, it's it's a website. I don't know what the percentages of people listening to this podcast on a laptop or listening with the intention of going to a website as opposed to just listening. I mean you could be listening to this on Spotify, you could be listening to this on your television, you could be listening to this on Amazon.

What's it called? Alexa or you could be listening to it on one of those things. You could be listening to it on a phone or not on a watch, a smart watch. Who knows, I don't know.

So you may have no interest in websites. I imagine websites will be gone in the future, it'll just be apps. Although what about all the information? Because technically to have that all that information on an app would mean that would mean lots and lots of space and I don't know if apps allow that.

I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I reckon the internet will be like a mixture of websites and apps in the future. It'll be like maybe a new technology, you know.

I'm saying the future, I'm talking in the next two, three, four years, whatever. I'm guessing that a lot of websites will just be dropped for newer technology and easier ways of doing stuff. But then what I would miss is the information, although a lot of the information is just perhaps not true, you know.

So when you see sometimes, I don't know why, I don't know why, for some reason I wanted to find out if Harrison Ford had a son who was an actor because there was a Harry Ford as an actor. I thought I wonder if that's his son and he called his son Harrison and I can't, in some ways it's kind of like, well that's just pathetic. But on another side, my nan and grandad named two of their kids after them.

Like my auntie's named after my nan, got her name and my uncle's, he's not here anymore, but he was named after my grandad. So I can't really judge it because my own family did it. I think in America they do Junior a lot, don't they? Sort of, so if I had a son he'd be Jason Newland Junior.

I kind of think just give them their own name. In fact what I would say is choose your own name, have a like a little temporary name until you're old enough to choose one you like. Whether that's a year old or ten years old, whatever.

Just wait until you've found a name you like and then we'll all call you that. But in the meantime, I don't know about giving people numbers, that's a bit, probably not very nice, but you know, just give them like a temporary, so maybe temporary Bob and then if they decide they want to be called Peter, but then would everyone call them Permanent Peter so that everyone knows that they're not, it's not a temporary name. But then if it was a temporary name, would you bother learning it? Hi, my name's Steve, is it temporary or permanent? Oh it's temporary, I haven't chosen a name for myself yet.

Well don't bother telling me the name because I'm not going to remember it. I'm not going to start remembering names that are going to be changed because that's really difficult. Really, trust me I know this, I know this, I know this from personal experience of being around Buddhists who have asked for ordination.

So I've had lots of friends who like John and Blimey, I can't remember some of their names because it's been so long since they've changed their names. But you know, for example, Jonathan, he was named Jonathan when I knew him, back in 2003. And then in about 2012, he got ordained.

And now he's got a completely different name, it's a Buddhist name, it's a Sanskrit name. Is it Sanskrit or Pali? I think it's Sanskrit. So he's got a completely different name.

And nobody calls him Jonathan apart from maybe family members and his close friends from school or people that have known him for a long time. Because I've got an older friend, his actual name is Roger. But I've never known him as that, I've always known him by his Buddhist name, because he's been ordained since Blimey, 98, something like that, 1998.

And so I've always known him as that name. So that was weird as well. So I remember I was working in the evolution shop and this bloke come in and he said, I've come to meet you with Roger.

We're going for lunch. I said, what? Yeah, Roger, I mean his dad, we're going out for lunch. I said, what are you talking about? And then my friend comes downstairs.

And he says, Oh, dad, I didn't, you know, it's weird. I didn't even think that he had another name. Of course, I knew he had another name before he got ordained, but I'd never met him with that name.

So he's always the name that he's got. I can't remember people's names. I'm not gonna give you his real name.

And so it was weird. It was like, Oh, okay. I felt a little bit silly.

But not the silliest I've ever felt. I'll be honest. Not the silliest.

I've felt silly before. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So that was weird. And so that whole getting used to people's names changing, I can only do it if I'm around the person a lot. So if I see them, if I'm working with them, I've worked with Buddhists twice, two different evolution shops, which were gift shops that no longer, they're gone.

They closed, all closed down years ago. But I worked in two of them, and also lived with Buddhists as well. So as well as going to the Buddhist centres, two different Buddhist centres.

So I kind of, and going on retreats and stuff like that. So I knew quite a few Buddhists, I knew quite a few that had changed their names over time. And it took a while to get used to it.

But there's some people that I've known for years, and because I don't go, I'm not so active in the Buddhist environment anymore. I haven't been for quite a while, really. Sometimes I'll jog up there and go for the evening, and I see someone that I know, and they say they were called Susan before.

Now they've got a long name, that's a Buddhist name, when they got ordained, and I don't know what it is. And I try to learn it when I'm there, and then I don't see them for three months or six months. And I go again, and I'm like, oh.

But I can't call them by their old name, because that's kind of frowned upon, I would say. Maybe disrespectful, I don't know. I'd rather not use any name than use their old name.

Which is kind of ironic, because part of the reason of changing their name is to loosen or to get rid of or cut that attachment we have to our name. But the ironic thing is, I'm guessing, now I don't know if anyone will admit to it, that if you've worked ten years, and to be ordained in the organisation that I've been involved in takes a long time, and it's proper full on, you know, you basically devote your whole life to it, pretty much. You may still have a job and a family, but you kind of get to the point where that's your whole focus is Buddhism.

And when the person finally gets ordained, after, you know, it could take 10, 15, 20 years, might take six years, depends. It's going to be a huge deal. How could it not be? So when they get given that new name, that they don't know what it's going to be, the name means something.

It's about a quality in that person. So, for example, if a person was very honest, and a very honest speech didn't, you know what I mean, a very straightforward or very generous, very generous person, then their new order name would contain that within the name. So if someone was very, you know, if they're very honest and very generous, they might be called generous and honest in Pali, if you know what I mean.

But the name might be Metabhvalanava or something like that. That's a made up, I don't know if that's a real word, okay. Not generous or honest.

I think they're real words. So my thoughts, because I've not been ordained, I did apply. I did ask for ordination and I started the process, but I didn't see it through.

And I guess I wasn't, I don't know, I'll talk about that another time. I wasn't something. But I imagine if I'd spent 10 years completely devoted, like every day, all day, every day, pretty much focusing just on the Buddhism, just on the teachings of the Buddha and meditating and practicing and, you know what I mean, just all that stuff that you may not know anything about, but I'm not going to go into details, but just the whole thing.

And then finally you go away and they go away for like maybe three months to Spain, the men. And I think the women order members or when they get ordained, they go to, some of them go to Spain, some of them don't, some go to other places. Some order people can get ordained over the weekend locally, because not everybody can just go away for three months, you know.

How many people can just do that in their life? Especially, even if there are a lot of people that get ordained, not a lot, but quite a few seem to be sort of retirement age or a point in their life where they're financially secure, so they don't have to work anymore or don't have to work full time, so they can put more effort into the practice and they may be able to go away. But if they're in a relationship and they've got a wife or a husband or boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, or children, going away for three months is, I imagine a bit of a strain on some relationships.

I also imagine if I was in a relationship, coming home and telling my partner that I was going to be going away for three months would probably be the best news she's ever had.

So I guess it depends on where you're coming from. Let's throw a party. But then I think, when I finally was given that name, and I can't think what qualities I have that would be a name, if you know what I mean, any good qualities I have.

I don't know what boring farter would be in Pali. That would be my order name, boring farter, because the two things I'm good at are being boring and farting. I don't know why I needed to explain that.

And I imagine if I'd spent, because let's say, if I went for ordination now, I've already spent 20 years involved in the thing, although I'm not very involved at the moment. So I might be 60 before I got ordained, if I decided I was going to devote my life to it from now onwards, completely and utterly to the Dharma, which is the Buddhist teachings, to the Sangha, which is the other Buddhists, and to the Buddha as a teacher. So if I was to go for, they call it going for refuge.

So basically, if you think of a refugee having safety, going somewhere where they're safe, because that's how I like to think about it, because being in England, we have, we're a safe haven, as are probably most countries that are listening to this. There's a lot, you know, England's not the only place, by any means, but a lot of the countries in my area, like Europe and everything is, are safe havens, or supposed to be safe havens for refugees, for people that need safety. And on a human level, I think if you think about it, on a human level, it's blimey, that's really important.

Imagine how amazing that is, to be able to provide that to somebody. Now I'm not, I don't provide anything because I'm not in charge of anything and I don't, you know what I mean, I don't put anyone up or anything like that. But it must be amazing, you know, to, imagine if it was, because there's a government that does it, but if it was an individual person, imagine how great they'd feel, knowing that they were helping someone every day, you know, keeping them safe.

So in a way, that's how I try to view going for refuge with the Buddhism. This isn't, this isn't a podcast about Buddhism by the way, just in case you think I've made the wrong podcast. It wasn't about that.

I don't know why I'm even talking about Buddhism, but hey, there you go. So that's what, I guess I wanted to try to explain a bit about what the ordination process is here, with the Buddhist organization that I've been involved in for, or involved with to varying degrees since 2002, it was December, November I think, 2002. And, you know, you can go to some places and you can get ordained instantly, but there's different levels of ordination, like Thailand is a place, you can stay there for a month, shave your head, get ordained, but it's like a temporary monk, you know, you're like an apprentice kind of thing.

And if you, if you decide that you want to be permanently ordained, then it's like a really big commitment, it involves living there for I don't know how long, maybe years, it's, you know, it's a commitment. But if you want to go to a temple, and I'm guessing on this one, I've looked into a little bit like in China, Australia, Thailand, and Bhutan. There's a few places, Vietnam places, Japan as well, I think.

So there's places where there's temples, where you can go to, and you become a novice monk, that's it novice. And you can just stay for a few days, like a retreat, or you can actually become part of the part of the organization. Now, I'm not, you know, every place has got its own rules and how to go about it.

But some, I guess some would just say you have to drop all your worldly belongings. And basically, that's it, give up everything out there. And when you step through the gates, that's it, everything else is left behind.

Which is kind of appealing, I imagine for a lot of people. Maybe not permanently, but for at least a temporary, just a break, you know, just a little rest. Okay.

Just a year. I quite fancy it for a year. Less so as an older person.

I'm not old, but I'm older. Older than I was. But are we all older than we was? Yeah, I know.

I think when I was in my 30s, I would absolutely loved to take a year out and go and live in a temple somewhere. Whether even in this country, it wouldn't matter, just go and live somewhere and do that. But I never had the financial freedom to do such a thing.

It was never on the table. I was either in debt or I just didn't have any money at all. Now being in debt is worse than not having any money in some ways.

In some ways, because the weird way society seems to work here is the more in debt you get, the more in debt you can get. So I know that if I max out my credit card, they'll give me more credit. It is weird, isn't it? It is weird.

So I don't do that. I pay everything. I don't get into debt anymore.

I try not to. I do a little bit, but it's only little bits. I owe about £400 on my credit card.

So I try and pay things off. I used to be in debt by thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands. So what is my point? I think that if I've been doing that for 10 years, let's say I've been trying to get ordained as either a Buddhist monk or a lay monk, a lay practitioner or an order member of an organisation, because they're not monks, the order members that I'm involved with.

They're not monks in a traditional sense, but they're like a Western equivalent of. They are ministers of religion, like officially the same as a priest or a nun. So they are ministers of religion, like legally.

So they can sign passports. You know, the things that doctors can do and priests can do. They can go into prisons and hospitals as a minister of religion.

So just in the same way that any religion can. So whether it's Mormons or whether it's Muslims or whether it's Sikhs, Hindus, Christians, I forgot about Christians, Catholics. Do Jews have a religion? I forget.

And what's the other ones? Mormon, I guess. What's that one with the spaceship? Scientific, science fiction one. What's his name? Tom, not Tom Hanks.

Kirstie Alley. Didn't Kirstie Alley used to be part of it as well? Kirstie Alley. She made me laugh when she was in Cheers.

She was funny. She was really good in that show. But then so was the other one.

What's her name? Oh, all women are the same, do they? No, it's not all the same. We said the other one or the other woman. Well, yeah, but it wasn't.

I want to say like the other woman, the other star of the show who used to be the star, because I mean, you could argue, oh, but Ted Hansen. Ted Hansen? Yeah, Ted Hansen. Ted Hansen.

Yeah. But he's the star. Yeah, he's the star.

But to be fair, the female lead was just as involved as he was. You know, without them, he wouldn't have been who he was. Sam.

Yeah, he was the star, but there was very few. I suppose there were some episodes that only had him in them that didn't have the female lead as well. I'm not arguing like, was he the star of the show? Yeah, he was the main lead character.

But I think that the Kirstie Alley and Janice Joplin, when she was in it, she was Diane. Diane. She was Diane.

And she was good. Very, really good. I do like that show a lot.

They've stopped showing it now during the week. In fact, they show it at the weekends. But they were showing it for years, literally every morning, two episodes.

And they just kept repeating and they're still doing it with Frasier. Every morning on Channel 4, about 10 o'clock, 9.30, whatever, they show two or three episodes of Frasier. And it's year on year on year they've been doing that.

Probably the last 10 years, they've been showing Frasier. Every episode. And then they just restart again, restart again, restart again.

Honestly, you think I'm joking? I'm not. Well, first of all, it's not funny. And secondly, I'm not.

I'm not joking. It's true. It's very true.

Only Monday to Friday. In fact, it might even be weekends as well. I'm not 100%.

Not 100%. Now, they started showing in the mornings, Third Rock from the Sun. And to start with, I was like, oh, I miss, I miss Cheers.

But it was getting a little bit like, okay. I started watching Cheers and I'm like, oh, I know exactly what they're going to say next. Because I've seen it so many times.

So I didn't really want to watch it anymore. I like to have a break of maybe a few years and then come back and watch it, you know, maybe watch it when I'm in my 60s. And then I was thinking, what other sitcoms would I like to see? Because they have King of Queens.

So this early morning slot, I think King of Queens is after the Third Rock from the Sun. I don't know if they've got Everyone Loves Raymond still, but he used to be on the game for years and years continuously, showing two episodes in the morning, early in the weekends. And so that was basically the three shows, Cheers, Third Rock from the Sun, and King of Queens.

I'm trying to think if there's any other shows that they were showing. I don't think there was, there might have been, can't remember. Oh, yeah.

What's it called? Oh, Young, not Young Sheldon, but the TV show with Sheldon, the Big Bang Theory. I think they started showing that. And they showed that every weekend, like back to back episodes for hours and hours on Channel 4, every weekend, Saturday and Sunday, the Big Bang Theory.

And I'm thinking, what other TV shows would I like to watch? You know, because I'm thinking one would be Roseanne. Oh, a while back, they were showing the Golden Girls, but they were showing that during the day, about 11.30 in the morning, or lunchtime kind of time, maybe early afternoon, I'm not sure. But it was weird, because they showed the Golden Girls back to back, and there wasn't that many episodes.

They got through it really quickly, because they were doing two or three episodes a day. And within a month or two, it was done. And I thought, are they just going to replay them? But they didn't.

So I'm not sure. I mean, I've never, I've never watched Everyone Hates Kevin. So I've never seen that.

That's Chris Rock, isn't it? No, Everyone Hates Chris, Chris Rock. I'm thinking of Kevin Hart. What, you think they both look the same, do you? No, no, why do you say stuff like that? It's because they're both comedians, and they're both funny comedians.

And let's face it, Kevin Hart seems to be on everything. He's everywhere. And Chris Rock used to be everywhere, you know, for quite a while.

Kevin Hart seems to be the, well, I don't know, but for a few years, he's like the top comedy actor. I don't know. I don't know who it is now.

My favourite top comedy actor is Ryan Reynolds. He just makes me laugh. I think he's just so funny.

I think it's more the dialogue than anything. He's just funny with his words. And, you know, Deadpool.

I'm looking forward to, well, they've got to make another Deadpool movie. Because it was good. It was funny.

It was just, yeah. What other sitcoms? Okay, I'll tell you one I'd like to watch. Soap.

Soap. It's an American sitcom. And we know it's, I know some people are going to know what it is, but some people might not know it, because it's very old.

I mean, we're talking early 80s, maybe even late 70s, when this sitcom was on. And I think I'd like to watch it, you know, back to back episodes every morning. I don't know how many episodes they made.

But it was funny. I mean, I remember, I think it was 1992, maybe 93. And I used to have to get up early in the morning to go to work.

And I always just felt a bit rubbish when I got there. I'd get up and I'd rush around to get to get to work. And I thought, oh, stuff this.

I need to start waking up a bit earlier, give myself a bit more time. But I never got around to doing that. I did.

But at that time, I hadn't. Then for some reason, I started waking up really early, like four or five in the morning. And I'd be awake.

Okay. And also back then, it wasn't like a huge selection of entertainment, of entertainments to indulge in. Not for me anyway, I didn't.

I just had a television, a little tape recorder for music. And that little walkman. And so they don't walk though, do they? So I so I had to tell you put a telly on.

Oh, it was just a black and white telly portable one. And probably channel four was showing soap, and I'd never seen it before. I could not stop laughing.

It was so funny. It was ridiculous, absurd. It was hilarious.

I just found it really funny. Now. I haven't I haven't watched it since I've tried to watch a few bits on YouTube.

So I'm not sure if I don't know if I'd enjoy it as much, but I really liked it a lot. So that'd be good to bring back. But a lot of that stuff is so and I want the right word is potentially offensive to people that like to be offended.

So they might not be allowed on TV now. Another American TV show that I used to love, and I didn't get to really see it. The only time it was married with children.

Love and marriage, love and marriage goes together like a horse and carriage. And the first time I saw that was I think I videoed I videoed. I think it might be in EastEnders.

Because I was working. I was working in the evening. And I got home while I lived upstairs.

So I finished at like 10 or whatever. Got home upstairs by 1030. It might be 930.

I forget. And I'd recorded too far ahead. So I'd caught the end of the of love and marriage.

And it's a scene where he's in a dentist. I could not stop laughing. It was hilarious.

Really, really, really, really funny. And it was like, it was only fully about seven or eight minutes, 10 minutes, maybe. But Wow, I've loved it.

There's always on at a weird time when I was working. And you might say, well, why didn't you record it again? I can't answer that question. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, I had a video recorder then. And I was 16.

But I didn't have a I didn't have a video recorder of my own again until probably 1999. I had a video recorder and a TV that I rented from a rental shop in the early 90s for a little while. And that was like a nice TV color TV video.

But I think it was like 15 pound a month, but I couldn't afford it. It was too expensive. So I had to send it back.

So that was that was a nice. It was on a stand and they brought it up the stairs. And it was like, wow, to go from watching a little black and white portable TV.

It wasn't tiny. I mean, it was, I don't know, 14. Is it 14 inches a lot? I don't know.

And seven inches, 12 inch, maybe 12 inch TV is not not wasn't a big, big, big, big screen. And but the TV that I got the color TV, I realized you don't really hear the words color TV or black and white TV these days. But I had a black and white TV I did.

And I tell you what's even weirder. This is really weird. Okay.

When I moved closer to my nan's, and I got a job working in a call center. And in this job, I was quite good. I was and I was, I was doing all right.

I was fairly successful. And I found something I could do fairly well. Yeah, I was going home and watching a black and white TV.

I didn't bother buying a color TV. I'm talking at all until 1994. I had a black and white TV for three years.

Why? Why? Is that weird? I mean, I was like, a TV would have back then what would it cost? Cut the hundred pound, which wasn't a lot of money. But I didn't buy one. I must have had a blood.

No, wait a minute. I had a I had a video recorder. I must have had a color TV surely.

I had a video recorder. I didn't watch videos in black and white, did I? No, that doesn't make sense. But I know I had a black and white TV during that period.

And then I went to Blockbusters and I bought a portable, again a portable TV. I think it is. I think the reason for that is because I kept moving around for years and years from the age of 15.

Well, actually also from the age of 15 and also before the age of seven, I was moving around all the time. But, you know, as an adult, I didn't know where I was going to be for one week to the next really. So I needed to have a portable lifestyle, if you know what I mean.

I always had a pile of black bin bags ready to fill up. And that's how I moved. I just put all my stuff in bin bags, got a taxi and just went to the next address or walked depending on how much stuff I had.

And I'm kind of glad I don't live like that now because it wasn't. There's definitely there's definitely no security in that. I mean, it's not necessarily security here, but it's I don't have black bags, just in case.

I do have black bags like bin liners, you know, for refuge bags, you know, rubbish. So I do have them, but not with the intention of filling them up with my belongings and moving out quickly before anyone sees me. I don't have that anymore or because I owe landlord money or, you know, I've done that a few times.

I'm not proud of it. I'm not. I'm not.

But I have had to have done that. I've also been kicked out a few times. And yeah, it's weird.

It's almost like why it's like my brain wasn't working when I was younger. I'm not sure how well it works now, but I didn't. I mean, you know the word common sense.

I didn't have any common sense. Now, I don't know if it's I'm not sure if there is such a thing as common sense, but I didn't seem to have any skills of dealing with things. I didn't really know what I was doing or how to do things, how to I kind of ad-libbed.

I blagged it. I'm still blagging it a bit. I've got no idea what I'm doing on this thing.

I don't know. I'm just talking into a microphone. I hope it's on.

I hope it's switched on. I don't know. If it's not, it would not be the first time.

Honestly, I've sat here talking for an hour before and the thing wasn't turned on. I'm joking. I'm not joking.

I'm serious. In the olden days, I used to have USB microphones that it would go into the laptop and then I would record using Audacity editing recording software, which is free. Although I did buy some professional version of it, but it was still the same as the free one.

It was just a disc instead of downloading it. So I used to do that and sometimes I'd be talking for I don't know, 30 minutes, 40 minutes doing a hypnosis session and then it would just freeze. The laptop would freeze or shut down.

Now I didn't need the internet to work in order to record. All I needed was the laptop to work. That was it.

That's all I needed. And the amount of times that I'd make a recording and it just froze. And it wasn't a case if I could just save what I'd done and carry on.

I'd lose everything. Everything that I'd done I'd be gone. So I don't use USB microphones anymore.

I've got a whole setup. I don't use I don't use them here at the moment. Although I do have a new USB microphone, which is more for traveling.

Although I do want to test it out whilst going for a walk to see how good the quality sound is. Just like holding it to my mouth, you know, as I'm walking along to see if it's any good, if it sounds. I guess it won't sound.

I don't know. I don't know how it's going to sound because I've not tested it yet. I've had it about a week.

I haven't had time to really see how it works because I've been focusing too much on what I'm doing here. But I'm coming close to kind of knowing what I'm doing with the other stuff that I'm doing at the moment. So hopefully next week, or maybe not this week, but the week after, I can spend a couple of days playing with the microphone and figuring out how it all works and, you know, looking at some tutorials online and just playing around a bit.

Basically doing what I had to do with this Zoom recording studio. I couldn't just plug it in and use it. I had to learn how to use it and it was annoying.

And I still, I probably only know maybe 2% of how to use the thing. I know enough to record and I know enough how to change some of the settings. But there's a lot of stuff on there.

You can use it for instruments. Basically, you can record an album on the thing. You know, you've got MIDI, things for guitars, keyboards, drums.

You've got things for mobile phones so I could take calls in if I knew how to. And there's, yeah, there's one, two, three, four, five, six microphones. So yes, I only, I just use one microphone.

And yeah, it's, it's, I kind of figured out how to get it going and I've stuck to that and tried to make little changes so it sounds okay through the headphones. But still a little bit. Yeah, you know, a little bit.

Hmm. Hmm. Not sure.

Not sure if it's quite okay. But you know, there's a lot more that I can learn. I just, I'm in the process of working on remastering some of the older recordings going through them and only remastering the ones that are decent quality at the end of it and uploading those and then also making new Let Me Boy To Sleeps every day.

So, you know, I'm kind of building forward, hopefully, things, I can get some kind of consistency going. That's the word consistency. Be consistent, Jojo.

Consistent, what's that? If I have to explain it to you, then you probably won't understand. That's a bit rude. So my idea is if I got ordained, and part of the ordination process is to lose, you know, to be given a different name so that I can get rid of my attachment to my name.

If I spent 10, 15 years, whatever, working towards getting this new name, I'm not going to be just as attached, if not more attached, especially if the name represents my, what others perceive as my best qualities. Boring farter. So, you know, I've put that question to people in the past and they don't seem to like that question.

And it's not, I think some people think it's a dig, they like to dig at them. It's not. It's a genuine question.

Because I think from my own perspective that I would probably feel like the name would have more meaning to me. So my name is Jason, unless you don't know, it's Jason. And I didn't choose my name.

I had no say in it. So, you know, that was it. I wasn't named after any uncles, any aunts, any grandparents, nothing like that.

No family members at all, as far as I'm aware of, have been called Jason. Now, I realise pretty much we're all related. Go far enough back.

There has to be two people, isn't there? Ultimately, we have to be, you can stop going forward, but you can't stop going back. I can stop my bloodline with me, my bloodline, but it has to go back to my dad, then to his dad, or his parents, then to their parents. It has to go back.

It can't ever stop, can it? Someone didn't just suddenly appear out of nowhere. So we have to go back right to the first people that were ever on the planet, which means we're all related. In my brain, we're all related.

We're all the same blood. We're all related, which is in some ways scary, but other ways, like a refreshing drink on a hot summer's day. We're all related.

We're all related. And isn't that weird? You think about it. So they probably, in that case, there's loads of people, thousands and thousands and thousands upon thousands of throughout history.

And there was three in my year at school. Seriously, there was. Oh, there was.

Serious. And I'm not joking. Three in my year.

So Jason was clearly a fairly popular name around like 1970 when I was born. 1969, 1970. And there was a famous actor who portrayed a character as a detective.

He was a private investigator called Jason King. Now, I've been told that the reason my dad called me Jason is because he used to get called Jason King. That was his nickname because he looked like Jason King, the actor.

And I've looked at him and he does look a bit like him. It's like when my dad was younger, he had the moustache. And so, yeah, that's that's the reason apparently why I was called Jason.

Now, I wasn't hugely impressed with that story because, you know, when I was a kid or a young adult, it's like, well, Jason King doesn't mean anything to me. I never saw it on telly. It's just an old 60s program that they don't even show.

It wasn't popular enough for them to re-show it in the 70s. Well, not in the 80s or whatever. But apparently it was very popular in the 60s.

He played the same character twice. He played it in he was in a detective show. He played a character called Stephen King, Jason King.

And then he had his own spin off TV show called Jason King. So he was very famous. So, you know, it didn't mean anything.

You know, imagine if you call Tom and you call Tom after Tom Hanks, because your dad looked like Tom Hanks. Not the Tom Hanks in the new Elvis movie. But, you know, you'd be like, well, you know, Tom Hanks, he's a he's a legend, isn't he? I mean, not everyone might not like him as an actor, but he's a he's just, you know, a nice, nice bloke.

And he's to be named after someone so famous. Now, Jason King wasn't quite in that league because Tom Hanks will be remembered. There's pretty much no one alive today who won't hear about Tom Hanks during their lifetime.

They'll remember him. I mean, even if it's just watching old movies as they're growing up, they'll kind of know who Tom Hanks is. You know, so people are baby born right now.

So there's someone pooing out baby right now. And then they get to and you know, they get to become a toddler and maybe two, three years old and they're watching. What's blimey wait a minute.

I'm trying to think of a good Tom Hanks movie. I was gonna have to look. Tom Hanks movies.

So what you know, I'm just thinking of some like children friendly Tom Hanks movies. Blimey he's made so many. Big, obviously big.

I mean, sleepless in Seattle, those kinds, they're more like lovey dovey, aren't they? But Big's a good movie. He was in quite a few comedies, wasn't he when he was younger. And so let's say the toddler is watching.

Philadelphia, something like that. So he's having a good, good laugh. And he's enjoying it.

And he's like, he feels he has got that connection with Tom Hanks of like a positive connection. Or Saving Private Ryan's something, you know, I feel good movie. So cast away.

You know, something, you know, just to cheer him up. Or her. I'm trying to think what other movies there is.

Or you know, feeling a bit down like Road to Perdition. That's a good one. That cheer him up.

So you know, lots of feel good movies. So Angels and Demons is another one. What my favourite one that I enjoyed the most? Where is it? Where is it? Oh, Captain Phillips.

Oh, that was funny. That's a funny one. So it's, they're gonna have that.

They're gonna remember him. And even if they say Tom Hanks, I think he should live forever. But you know, reality means he might not.

So even if they're in their 20s and 30s and 40s, and we're, you know, I mean, dust by then, maybe it's these children that now like middle aged or getting into their 50s and 60s. They still wouldn't know who Tom Hanks is because they'll be playing it on whatever way they watch television or movies, you know, old movies from the past, even though it'd be long gone a bit like us watching Cary Grant movies. Or for me, it's all the carry on movies.

Because practically every single not all of them, but most of the actors in the carry on movies aren't around anymore. And I just love watching those movies. I love all the actors, all of them.

I do. I mean, I've got my favourites, you know, Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Moore, is it Kenneth Moore? Connors? Anyway, but I love them, they're all brilliant. They're all great.

And sometimes I like watching stuff like that, like really old stuff from the 60s and the 70s. And it's not that I feel at home or nostalgic because I wasn't born in the 60s. And I was, well, I was a little kid in the 70s.

I used to watch the carry on films will be in my late in the late 70s and then early 80s and stuff onwards. I can't remember the first carry on movie I watched, but you know, I might have watched one when I was in when I was like, a year or two years old. I can't remember.

For me to tell you that I'd have to look through my journals. So I think I was about 20, 21, 22. And I wanted to know what Jason meant.

What does it mean? What meaning does it have? And I'm not sure how I found out I might have gone to the library. There was no internet back then. But I found out it basically means healer.

Or it can mean healing hands. That's what Jason means. Now, Jason was a mythological figure, of course, of Jason, the Argonauts and all that stuff.

And supposed to be based on fact. But just as factual as Hercules, really, isn't it? It's like, well, he's a demigod. I just saw his Jesus, wasn't he? So I guess.

Yeah. But they got that in common. What if they ever went drinking? They might not have even met each other.

So I think it's time. I think it's time to go now. I'm going to leave now.

So I'm going to go. Thanks for listening and all that stuff. I've got no idea what I've been talking about.

Yeah, I don't know. But anyway, remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be happy.

And remember to be gentle. Very, very gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

And I'll speak to you again tomorrow. Bye. Bye, bye, bye.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.