#879 An incomplete recording - Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (16th August 2022)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Hello and how are you? La la la la la.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Close your eyes. And beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

So yeah, um, I, oh yeah, my website's Jason Newland dot com. So yay. Isn't that nice? Isn't that wonderful? Oh blimey.

Um, I just got on the Daily Telegraph and there's a picture and they've made her look like the Queen. Right, she's 103. Queen of Ambridge signs off at 103.

I know what this is. This is the, the last original member of the Archers radio show has retired at 103 years old. But at first glance, it's a worrying headline, you know, the Queen signs off at 103.

Because the Queen is in her 90s now. You know, the Queen Queen. As opposed to the King Queen, you know what I mean.

The Queen. The Queen. Oh my Queen.

The Queen. I remember 1977 the Queen drove through my little town where I was living at that time. And we queued up for hours and hours waiting.

And we lined the roads waiting for her fleet of cars to come through. Well, I don't remember. I vaguely remember.

This is, this is over 12 years ago. Over 12 years ago. It's like nearly 50 or 45 years ago.

Yeah. 45 years is over 12 years, isn't it? Oh, you got me again. Damn it.

Yep. So I, I have this vague recollection of standing there with waving a little flag, like a little plastic flag. And when the Queen eventually arrived, she drove what she, I don't think she drove the car herself.

But you know, she was like waving and stuff. And she went past too quickly. That's 60 miles an hour, just like zoom right past.

And that was it. Because it was the, let me find out what what the Jubilee was. It was like Silver Jubilee or something.

And 1977 Jubilee. It was, it was the Silver, blimey, I was right. Did I say Silver? I actually got, I got something right for the, for the, well, always, I'm always right.

And I, wow. Wow. Wow.

It's, it's how much is a 1977 Queen Elizabeth Jubilee coin worth? Could be worth £150. I just got a buzzing in my ear there. Did you get that? I hope not.

I hope it was just me. Is Platinum Jubilee? Oh, no, no, no, no, this is the 77. This is £150.

Thanks to a rare mistake. It was, it cost 25 pence at the time. I just want to read that.

Why is, what mistake was it? This is exciting stuff. I know a lot of you thinking, why is he talking about the group Queen? Why did they have a coin? And why were they celebrating 1977? Is it because that was the year of their biggest hit? Now I'm talking about Queen, like the Queen, not Queen the group. Oh, okay.

You have to be snappy. Right, a special edition coin spotted being sold on auction sites for £2 could actually be worth up to £150. Thanks to a minting mistake.

So nearly this I'll tell you where this is from walesonline.co.uk. What date is it on here? 28th of May 2022. I'd like to let you know where I'm reading this stuff from. In case you want to visit it yourself.

And the rare currency was first sold for 25 pence when it was minted, but many people kept it as a collector's item. Despite it being branded a silver jubilee coin. It was not actually made from silver and was named in reference to the anniversary.

Yeah. Would that need explanation to people? Maybe. The coin measuring 3.8 feet.

Who cares about how big it is? People are too bothered about size. Size isn't everything come on. And so it features an image of the Queen Elizabeth on horseback.

I think it's a bareback then a horseback. While the phrase Elizabeth to DG Reg FD 1977 can be seen written seen written around the edge. It had been minted incorrectly.

The coins design was said to be off center due to an error in the striking process. What a non story. Keep hearing movement.

And it isn't me. I keep hearing like something might be my stomach gurgling. I've just eaten so it might be that just going.

Because my stomach sounds like a frog on heat. Yes. So I don't know why I looked up.

If you're interested, I can't even say if you're interested, I am going on holiday to actually have my proper holiday in Thailand for my birthday. So I went away in May and broke my rib and I had to come. I basically, I stayed for a while, but I came back because I was in too much pain.

So I am gonna go and have a proper holiday this time. But what I'm thinking of doing is taking, I've got a microphone to take out with me and maybe take some equipment. Like I did last time, actually, but I broke my microphone last time.

So the microphone I got now is specifically for traveling. So I need to work out how to use it first. But the plan is to be making some podcasts while I'm out there, just to see if it's possible, if it's a doable thing.

So it's my birthday, I actually be arriving in Thailand on my 52nd birthday. So if you would like, if you would like to give me a birthday present, and to help me with my holiday, some spending money, then please, you know, you're very much welcome, a nice PayPal gift, if you if you like, but, you know, not begging, please, please send me, I mean, I only need a couple of million, couple of million dollars, that's all. Now, if you've got a couple of million spare, that's fine.

The, I don't know what my, I don't know what PayPal addresses is, something. But yeah, if you want to, that's good. PayPal is somewhere, somewhere around.

What is it? PayJasonNewland.me? No, is it? Isn't that weird? What's my PayPal address? I'm just I forgot what it is. PayPal.me. Ah, okay. So it's PayPal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

Or you can just send the PayPal money to Jason Newland at Jason Newland at hotmail.co.uk. Yeah, Jason Newland, J A S O N N E W L A N D at hotmail.co.uk. But Jay, if you do it with a PayPal address, at least then you'll be able to see there's me because you can see it says Jason Newland. And there's a little hypnosis thingy. Oh, that was boring.

That was even more boring than normal stuff I do. Oh, excuse me. Yeah.

Dear Jason, I'm not really sure about all these bodily excursions that you do. Excursions? I don't think there's a need for it. It's a bit immature.

I'm sure you just said you're nearly 52 years old. What's it all about? I mean, why? Why would you make such weird noises? You act like a small baby. Well, that's the reason because I'm 52.

I am degenerating. Is it degenerating? There's a weird squeaky in my voice. Degenerating? I'm regressing.

I'm regressing back to being a child again. So, you know, over the next few years, eventually, I'll be younger. That's why I'm in my brain.

I'll be so much younger. I'll be so happy. It'll be nice.

So yeah, that's my plan. So if you do want to, you know, buy me a drink, buy me a nice meal or something like that, while I'm out there, then please just go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland. And I will I will mention it every day between now and when I go.

Yes, so sick. I'll tell you what. Once I reach 10 million dollars, I'll stop mentioning it.

How about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 million dollars.

You never see me again. Never hear from me again. I really liked him and I won the lottery and I won 100 million on the lottery.

And I've been listening to this podcaster called Jason Newland and he's really helped me to get to sleep over the last three years. And when I won the lottery, because, you know, I didn't expect I'd win the lottery, but I paid my two pound and I got the lottery. Or was it three pound? I won 100 million pounds.

Or was it euros? I keep forgetting. It's really weird. Once it gets over 90 million, you just don't care.

And I thought, I know what I'll do. I'll send Jason, I'll send him a hundred thousand pounds, you know, just to say thank you to him for all he's done to help me. And it's really weird because I sent it to him.

He did send it to say thank you very much. It's very kind and like, oh, you just, it was a really lovely letter, like response he gave me. But the funny thing is, I've not heard from him since.

It's like he stopped making podcasts for some reason. It's like it almost like he's just gone on holiday. I don't understand.

Yeah. Give me a hundred grand and that'll be it. Bye.

See ya. A million? Blimey. That'd be good.

I'll be living in another country. I'll be living in, or travelling the world. That's what I'll be doing.

I quite like the idea of travelling the world and making podcasts as I go along. Because you imagine the amount of rubbish I come out with out of my brain when I have no stimulation at all. When I do nothing, you know, I go nowhere, I see nobody.

Can you imagine how much absolute stupid stuff would come out of my mouth if I was actually stimulated and I was seeing new things, meeting new people? A podcast would be a lot better. I'm pretty sure of that. A lot more interesting.

And I know, you know, they're not supposed to be interesting, but some people listen to them. Kind of like maybe to be a little bit interesting. You know, maybe that was it.

That was a squeaky door. I decided to do my own sound effects. This is a car starting up.

Good, isn't it? This is, what should I do another one? This is my sound of a cloud. Have you ever heard a cloud? You just see it. You can't hear it, can you? Well, this is my impression.

This is me watching a cloud. Oh, it looks like a puppy. So yeah, so there's lots of... I remember years ago I was at college doing a therapy course.

It was like massage, reflexology, what was it? Indian head massage, things like that. So I just took on too much, took on way, way too much because I was working part time as well in the call center. And I was also practicing with people doing the massage and the reflexology.

And I looked at my diary and I literally had no hours in the day for myself. I just booked myself up continuously from day to right from early morning till night time. Pretty much seven days a week.

So something had to give. And I was at college. I remember I was at college and I went out at lunchtime.

I couldn't face having another conversation with the people at college just for that day. I needed to get away from them. So I went, I need to get away from everyone.

It wasn't them particularly, just I needed to be on my own. So I went through this alleyway. I didn't know that it led to a park.

I've still never been to that park again. Don't know what the park was, but I remember lying down on the grass. Well, as opposed to the minute miniature coconuts.

Yes, there's no coconuts. It was the grass. Well, no broken glass, no grass, no bendy straws like millions of bendy straws or laid out on a little tarpaulin.

No grass. What about a trampoline? No grass. Why would there be a trampoline in a park? Actually, that probably would be quite a good place to have a trampoline.

But it was laying down on the grass and I looked up. To be fair, if you've got your eyes open, you've got no choice but to look up because you're facing up. And I looked at the clouds.

It was a blue sky with clouds. As opposed to what? A purple sky? Just let me just finish the story. Okay.

Just trying to help. Well, you're not helping, are you? I think I am because I think I add a bit more panache. You add more something, but I don't think the words panache.

Maybe rhymes with panache. Trash. Oh, dear.

A rash. Rash. Rash and trash.

Very similar. You realise our next prime minister might be called mistrust. One letter away from mistrust.

Mistrust. Wow. So, fishy, dishy, rishy.

So, what was I going to say? I wonder if Rishi gets in. He'll announce a big, big apology. From England, you know, for the partition.

70 odd years ago. Did this country ever apologise for that? I'm not sure. It's weird.

I watched this. I don't know much about a partition and it doesn't really interest me. But then when I hear about it, it interests me.

And basically, if you don't know what it is, just Google it. I can't bother to explain everything to you. Plus, I can't remember what it is.

But I was watching this superhero TV show on what is it? Disney. And this whole, they were going on and on and on about the Indian partition. And it really went in-depth into it.

It's like, what the hell has this got to do with superpowers? Just can you just get on and fly or do some super magic things, please? Can you just start fighting and jumping high and, you know, I don't care about history. This isn't, I'm not here to be educated. I'm here to just have fun.

Maybe have a giggle. Maybe to be wowed by the special effects. Don't try and educate me.

If I wanted to be educated, I'd read a book. I don't read books. I haven't read a book since 1952.

I don't read books. I don't even look at them. I can't even spell book.

Leave me alone. But yeah, I looked into it. I went online, did a bit of research.

And yeah, weird. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very strange. I remember in school, even like as an adult who was saying, you can't call someone from Pakistan Indian.

That's racist because they're not Indian. They are Indian. Okay, they're from a country that's made, that was created 70 years ago, or whenever it was, I don't know, 50 years ago.

It was not that long ago, really in human terms. And they were Indians, split up. So yeah, okay, anyone born there, they're going to call themselves Pakistani, because that's what they've been born into.

But the reality is they were all Indian. It's like Germany being split in two. They didn't call themselves a different name, a different name.

As far as I know, I mean, unless I did like once with Deutschland, one was Germany. I don't think I think there was a different name. I mean, you know, Germany, like the East Germany was Germany.

And the other part was, you call themselves abracadabra land. Don't you call me German. I'm abracadabra.

And it's like, I'm an abracadabra. No, you're German. I'm an abracadabra.

But you're from Germany. No, they split the country up. 70 years ago, therefore, I'm an abracadabra.

It's like, oh, and I just feel like, why is it racist? It doesn't make sense. It's India. I've never been very good with geography.

That'll surprise you. But I did learn later on, like Pakistan is a different place. It's a different country.

But then I learned that it wasn't. Well, you know, it didn't used to be. But people get so precious about stuff like that.

I mean, all the different countries that have changed names. What was Rhodesia? What is it now? I don't know. What is the point in learning stuff at school if you have to change it a few years later? No, we're now calling it something different.

No, keep it the same. No, it's something different now. This was what, and there is a part of the world where these groups of people, it's land, isn't it? I guess land is precious, time and land.

But some people find land more precious than time and even life.