#881 I wanna go bed - Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (18th August 2022)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Yes, it really is.

It really is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I'm not joking. It really is.

So, I've already made one of these today. I did make one earlier. Did a video, recorded it.

And at the end of it, I realised that the microphone was not working. The microphone was not, it was working to start with. But it didn't record.

It did record my voice because I was filming with the iPhone. So the microphone from the iPhone did pick up my voice. But the external microphone, which is pretty good, didn't do nowt because the batteries run out.

Batteries, blimey. Basically, it's got battery. I don't know why this is funny.

This is a power source. It increases the sound, the volume. Excuse me.

And it pops into the iPhone. And it's done. It's, uh, my chair's a bit squeaky.

I might have to change the chair. In fact, I will change the chair. Now, that was quick.

I'm now back in my proper chair. Because this chair's got special sound effects that the other one doesn't have. It came free.

It squeaks. Why do all chairs squeak? Maybe it's just me. I can pretty much make any chair squeak.

Even if it's unmovable. If it's a chair that, you know, I'm a bit tired. It's too late in the evening to make this.

It's too late. I probably need to go to bed. Yeah, probably.

But I'm not going to. Determined. You know, it's weird, right? In the news, the last three days, it's all been about the drought.

Four days of hot weather. The drought. It's raining today.

Now they're like, oh, it's going to be a storm. It's going to be a storm. Oh, another crisis, a storm.

It thundered for about 10 minutes. And that was it. You know, next it's going to be floods.

It's going to be floods. Well, why were you going? If you knew there's going to be floods, and there is every year, by the way, parts of the country get flooded every single year. It's awful for those involved.

But, you know, we get floods every year. No, maybe not some years worse than others, but there's floods. It's just part of this country.

So why make such a big deal about a bit of hot weather? It hasn't rained for 22 days. Yeah, but we're in England. It's going to be raining for the next 222 days, potentially.

You know, we have way more rain than we ever need in this country throughout the year. So much rain that we pour it back into the sea. Too much water.

We have too much water here that we pour it back into the sea where it's of no use. The sea doesn't need more water. The sea's got lots of water.

But all the seas are connected, aren't they? Well, it's only one sea really, but that's the North Sea. That's the South Pacific. That's just one sea, just different parts.

It's all connected. What's it connected by? Water. The sea is connected by the sea.

So this is kind of... I don't understand. Right. Well, I don't understand.

Why could anywhere be short of water when we have the technology? We have the technology to convert seawater into pure drinking water, which can also be used for crops, can be used for flushing toilets, can be used for, you know, anything that water is used for. We have that technology. I mean, maybe money's better spent on nuclear weapons.

I don't know. Maybe. Oh, call me silly.

I remember years ago, a couple of years back, I follow, not Bill Cosby, Bill, Bill, the rich man, Microsoft Bill. I follow him. I used to follow him on Facebook.

I think I still do. But there was a time when I kept getting posts sent through to me. I'd read them, I'd watch them, videos and stuff, because he's, you know, he's a genius.

So it's always interesting to hear what he's got to say. And I know he gets blamed for things that probably really had nothing to do with him. But he doesn't, the attention doesn't go on what he's actually doing.

And I think a lot of that is because the average human being can't get over their jealousy for someone who's so wealthy and successful. They can't move on from that to be able to see, you know, it's always like, well, he's doing it because he's making money. He's trying to save millions of lives every year from malaria, because he's trying to make money.

He's doing it for alternative motives, you know. Maybe he's just trying to help. Because, you know, you get a certain amount of money, I think once you get to about 100 billion, you're pretty stable financially, I would say, I would say, kind of a little bit stable, kind of, you ain't got to worry about the electricity bills when you're at that point.

Mind you, I imagine his electricity bill is pretty, pretty high. If he lives in a big house somewhere, or maybe, maybe lives in lots of houses, I don't know. He could live in a different house every day for the rest of his year, for the rest of his year, for the rest of his life.

He could have a mansion built, being built for five years time, to just stay there for one night. Can you imagine that? He's got so much money. He could buy all the ice creams in Scotland.

He's got that much money. He could, or he could buy all the eggs from Sainsbury's supermarkets. He could go in there and buy them all.

I'm not sure why he'd want to do that. But I'm just thinking, you know, if that's if that was the way he was going to go with his life, it could be a lot of fun. I mean, what's that going on? Something's flashing.

I don't know why it's flashing. Something keeps flashing. I don't know.

I don't know why. I've redone some of the knobs on the settings for this Zoom recorder. I've not got my headphones on because they just make my ears sweatier.

Not sweaty, but sweatier. I do. My ears just drip from sweat all year round.

There's like a puddle just following me wherever I go. I just drip. It's not true.

I really make myself out to be much worse than I am. And I'm pretty awful to start with. I don't know why why I try to make it worse.

I really wanted to get away today. I wanted to go abroad, but I didn't. There's nowhere to go.

There's nowhere to go. There is places to go, but it's money, isn't it? It's money. It all costs cash.

Where would I like to go? I've been thinking whether or not that maybe, possibly, perhaps, perhaps a colder climate might be more suited to me rather than a warmer climate. In my mind, I was thinking warmer climate, brighter, be better for, you know, I've had a bit of a problem. Well, my doctors said that I was low in vitamin D. And you know what? I never went back to get that sorted.

I took the vitamin T tablets for a month or for six weeks. And I forgot to go back to the doctors to get my bloods tested again. Wow, I forgot all about that.

I forgot. Blimmin' hell. Wow.

Anyway, so I thought good for my vitamin D, you know, from the sunlight. From a mood perspective, it might really help with my moods. If I was in the sunshine and more brighter, I might, it might improve my moods.

Increase my serotonin or whatever it is. And it might be better for me. And the third reason, well, not the only reason, but the third reason would be with my lower back arthritis, it could just feel a bit better because the cold tends to have a little bit of an effect on it.

So maybe if I was in a warmer climate, my lower back would be a bit easier, you know? And with time, it may be, if the arthritis increases, I don't know, but then it'd be easier to deal with in a warmer climate. That was kind of my main thinking. Now, the downsides of being in a warmer climate is right now, I don't really have the body for walking around in the sunshine.

You know, first of all, I can't go topless. I wouldn't go topless even if I could. I just never, haven't done that since I was a kid.

But I would at least wear a nice t-shirt. I can't really do that. I feel comfortable.

So, and another thing is I do, I mean, we all sweat, but I, again, it's not, I mean, yeah, I do, I sweat a bit. I mean, everyone sweats. Everyone sweats.

You know, I had this ex-girlfriend and I met up with her. I think she was, she was jogging. Yeah.

And she's, she still had an issue with me. Like, she still didn't like me probably, but she was being friendly, you know, pretend friendly. So I was just walking along the beach.

I think I'll probably visit Minnan. So I went for a walk and she, she happened to live in that town as well. When I dated her for a little while in 1995, I think it was.

Anyway, she was, I said, oh, you jogging? I said, yeah, I jogged. I sweat when I jog. I said, oh, I get sweaty.

She said, that means you're unwell. I said, what? She said, only, only, it's true what she said, right. She's a nurse.

Okay. Or a retired nurse. She used to be a nurse.

Only people with health issues sweat. Yeah. That's what she said.

Now, sometimes you've got to call bullshit. I'm sorry. Especially a medical professional to say something as ridiculous as that.

Everyone who sweats is unwell. Yeah. Okay.

Do you not realise the body, like I know enough about the body to know that the body sweats. There's a reason for it. It's to cool us down.

It's, it gets rid of toxins. It's all kinds of stuff. The sweating is good for us.

You know, it's, it's the lymphatic system, blah, blah, blah. But her, her, I guess she was trying to sort of aim at me, saying, oh, you're sweating because you're unhealthy. And I want to, I feel like saying, yeah, but, yeah, you're wrong.

If you run around jogging for an hour, and you don't sweat, and it's a hot day, I think that would be a sign of illness, possibly. You know, even you think, it's like, okay, because I'm a boxing fan. I say, what about boxers? They're all ill, are they? When they get into the ring, and they're all covered in sweat before they even started the fight.

They ill? Are they ill? Are they unhealthy? Are they? I mean, boxers are some of the most fittest people in the world, just simply because of what they have to do to be able to keep up 12 rounds of what they're doing. You know, it's not like a short burst. It's not like, you know, I mean, of course, you got to be super fit pretty much for lots and lots of sports.

But boxing is one of the ones that you can't stop, you know, not really for a second. You know, it's kind of, I mean, footballers, you can run around, but you can, they're not running for the full 90 minutes. But boxers kind of move, and they have to move pretty much every second of every round, even if it's just running away, or dodging the punches.

Very few athletes could do that. Very few people could do it without that intensive training. I'm not, I'm sure, I mean, loads of athletes are super fit, and compared to me, they're superhuman.

Even cricketers, you know, people that perhaps don't seem to move much. They're all fit, all proper, fully, they're athletes. I mean, I'm not a big cricket fan.

You know, you have to be super fit to do that kind of stuff. Mentally fit as well. Golfers, excuse me, even golfers are fit.

You don't see many fat golfers there. They're fit. I'm talking about professional golfers.

They have to be fit. And I think a lot is physical fitness equals mental, can improve mental health as well. So maybe that focus, that professional athletes need to have, you know, it's, I'm talking about something I've got no, no, no real knowledge of, but it's all guesswork.

Okay, I used to be a professional athlete. Tiddlywinks champion 1993. Do you remember Tiddlywinks, anyone? Three people, that's good.

Tiddlywinks. Today, today, what's happened the last couple of days? It keeps moving from being warm to being cool in here today, for some reason. It's now, it's getting on to half past 10 in the evening.

And my body's warm, but my arms are cool. And my body has clothes on, but my arms doesn't. My arms doesn't.

But there's a real difference in temperature. Not quite sure why. I don't know.

Anything happened yesterday? It's quite warm yesterday. Today was average. I had a t-shirt on.

I went out and it started thundering about, I don't know, 1.32 this afternoon. And I thought, well, I don't want to get caught in it. But I didn't have any milk.

And if it was, the news was saying, oh, it's going to be a big thunderstorm. And I thought, okay, well, if it's a big thunderstorm, I don't want to have to sit in there for hours waiting and not even be able to make myself a cup of tea, because I can't really drink tea without milk. I can but I don't enjoy it.

Although I only have a very tiny bit of milk. Kind of weird, isn't it? Not really weird, is it? But it's, you know, it's unique. I just need to have a little bit of milk just to, probably coffee.

I have a fair bit of milk in a coffee. Not to make it milky coffee, but just enough sometimes where the coffee's not hot, but not too much, but probably three times as I have in a cup of tea. But I only have a little squirt in a cup of tea.

Just a little bit, like a little after effects squirt, you know, kind of after you shook it. I'll just move on. A little bit of residue.

Pre, pre, pre, pre, pre, so I was, I thought, I know what I'll do. I'll chuck me top on, me hoodie, and I'll go. I'll go to the shop, get some milk, come back, and then shelter.

And as soon as I left the house, it started to rain, so I put my hoodie up. It wasn't heavy, it was raining. I was like, oh, okay, cool.

I don't care because I can take the top off when I get home. It's not my only item of clothing to wear today. And pretty much stopped raining by the time I got to the shop.

Went inside, got myself, I mean, the, the, the shop's running out of stuff. Their, their deliveries are not coming for some reason, but there was some milk, so that was good. So I got a nice, I think it's like two pinter or two liter milk.

So I got that. So that'll serve me for a nice cup of tea in the morning and some breakfast in the morning. And I had some breakfast earlier as well.

So that's cool. I've got that. Come home, and genuinely I've spent nearly all day in bed.

I'm up, then I'm in bed, then I'm up, then I'm in bed, then I'm up, then I'm in bed. And I don't know, just, it's a bit, bit of a weird existence, really. Just how I felt.

I just wanted to go back to sleep. Now, last night, I was in bed by nine, at least nine in the morning, in the evening rather, maybe earlier. So I go to bed and it's still light outside.

That gives you an idea how early it was. It might have been half eight, but it was still light outside. And eventually I got up at just after four in the morning.

Then I went back to bed and I had a bit of a headache. So I went back to bed and got up again and, you know, so, bit of a weird day. But I was up late, I was so, I'm in bed and just constant, every now and then, bang, someone shuts the door or lets the door slam downstairs and then start wakes me up.

And I go back to sleep again, another little door slamming and wakes me up again. And then this couple, the neighbours started arguing like they always do nearly every day, it seems. And that was getting loud and it stopped and I go back to sleep and then they're shouting again.

And then another neighbour, who I think argues with herself, starts screaming at herself. And I was like, oh no, because that sometimes goes on for hours. And I was thinking, no, no, I'm going to have to get out of bed if this is going to, because normally it seems to happen during the day rather than at night.

And I sat here with my friend, literally talking for about an hour and a half, it's been going on. It's really, it's, and luckily that stopped after about, I don't know, I'm not sure how long, but not too long. And then I heard windows being closed outside and I heard doors being slammed and it just went on and off like for until about midnight.

And then I went to, managed to get some sleep and woke up at four. I think I woke up at five past midnight to start with. Then I woke up at half two, then four.

So it was a really weird night. And I got up, but it was too early, way too early. So I had something to eat.

And then I went back to bed and I thought, oh, I'll get up early. I won't be, I won't be in bed long. And I woke up, I was in bed till after nine or 10 o'clock in the morning.

So it must have been relatively quiet. And then I made my podcast. The microphone didn't work, so that was wasted.

That was early, early afternoon, maybe late morning. And that was annoying. That was, I've never been so angry.

And it was the best podcast I've ever made in my life. The best, most brilliant. And that's twice that's happened.

Seriously, twice. I did one the other day as well, and I lost it. I did the, I did something on the system and it got deleted.

Oh man. So I need to keep focused on what I'm doing and literally upload it straight away and do the editing straight away. Don't leave it, because then sometimes it can get lost.

So I did that. So today's kind of gone. And I don't know if there's a way of salvaging the podcast.

I mean, the video is usable as far as putting onto YouTube, but the sound quality is not great because it's from the phone. So it's a bit echoey, bit like from a distance echo. Unless there's a way of processing that sound so it sounds a bit better, a bit more like a podcast.

It's possible, I guess it's possible. If I can, then I will do that. I will salvage it tomorrow.

Can't be bothered today, but tomorrow I'll have a look at it. And if it's possible, then I will, because it was, it's an okay podcast. It wasn't special.

It wasn't like this one. I mean, this is a special one. This is particularly wonderful.

I imagine if you take, you could probably out of the last four years, you could probably find at least 10 minutes of really nice special stuff. Out of those four years, nearly 900 recordings. It's got to be a good 10 minutes there somewhere, hasn't it? If you, you know, take a look, a few seconds here, a few seconds there.

It's got to be good, strong 10 minutes of entertainment. A good 10 minutes, maybe nine, maybe 11. Wow.

So I go downstairs and see my friend. And this is a few hours ago, past seven to about three hours ago, I guess. And I'd seen him earlier in the afternoon, and he was really excited.

And I was like, what are you excited for? He said, you've got to come in. I said, okay. So I go in and he said, you never guess what.

I said, just tell me. No, I didn't. I said, and he basically, he's got two snakes.

Now, if you're, if you're queasy about snakes, I used to be, don't worry about it. I'm just, I'm not going to talk about the snake. I'm basically, they're non-venomous, non-harmful, everything like that.

They're cute little things. Will I touch them? Will I? Hell no, ever. But, you know, he loves them and that sort of matters.

I mean, if you'd have said to me 20 years ago, here's a ferret, now hold it. I'd have said, no, get that horrible thing away from me. Them teeth, get off.

You know, the idea of me falling in love with a ferret. No, I'd have laughed at you. No way.

Could I have any kind of emotional attachment to a ferret? Come on. Admittedly, I didn't really know what a ferret was, but if you just show me one, I'm like, no, get it away from me. Well, you know, life isn't that simple, is it? So, you know, I'm coming around to them, but I won't touch them.

I have touched them. I've stroked one, but I wouldn't, you know, it's not really my thing, but compared to how I was 20 years ago, 30 years ago, it's like, it's almost, I don't know, I think, here's is my little theory. Okay.

I think this isn't fact and it might, it's not based in any kind of studies that I've researched. It might be based in studies that I don't know about. So there might, you know, I have this theory that for people that have phobias, those phobias get connected to each other.

And the stronger the phobia is for one thing, it increases it for the others. Okay. So in the past, my phobias, I say phobias, things I was scared of, petrified of.

And there's some things like sharks, crocodiles, ain't going to be an issue in my life where I live. They're not here. Yeah.

I don't go into the sea. I don't have any, I'm not into water sports. And I also don't do any kind of sports activities involving water either.

So just that's more due to my, my, sorry, it's more to do with my swimming or non-swimming ability, which is fine. I've got, I'm not, I ain't got a problem with it. I mean, I had swimming lessons for nearly a year in junior school, like private one-on-one lessons with this teacher that kept, it was so lovely.

And I think twice a week I'd go and I'd have swimming lessons because we had a swimming pool in this school I was at. And he really, he really rooted for me to swim. It just wasn't my thing.

It's never, realistically never going to be my thing. Is we all have our, we have our talents that we're, we're naturally good at and we can improve upon. We have talents that we can learn to do and become really good at with practice and hard work.

Swimming isn't either of those, isn't either a natural talent or something that I can build on or I can improve. Okay. That's a lie.

I probably could improve it. I'm pretty sure I could if I really put the dedication in, but I don't have any interest in doing that. I've never liked the water.

I never have, which is why I don't wash. No, it's not true. That's not the reason I don't, I don't wash.

I'm not saying I do wash. I was just joking. I do actually wash.

No, I don't wash. But I'm saying it's not the reason I don't wash. I'm just lazy.

I love the smell, the aroma. Oh, it's at least 10 days, 10 days of dirt. If only I could bottle that.

I, I, I, I, I, yes, swimming. It's not, not my thing. Well, how do we get on to, oh yeah, so swimming is, there's some phobias connected to that for me, water, being out of my depth, having the water above my chest, just something that doesn't, doesn't fit with me.

And there's reasons for it. You know, stuff that happened when I was a kid in a swimming pool with a wave machine. And the, I was in the, the, the shallow end, and I was very little, only little, only, I don't know, four, five, something like that.

So I was in the shallow end and they turned on, and I think these wave machines were banned because they were dangerous. And this happened to a lot of kids, what happened to me. I was, so at that time, and even now, not now, but even, okay, now, if I got into a swimming pool, I would have to be near the edge and I'd have to be in the shallow end to start with anyway.

And ideally I'd swim width, width to width, and I can swim, you know, basic, I splash around a lot, but I can get to the other side and I can, well, last time I did it, I could do a length, but the thing is, sometimes I'd find myself holding my breath the whole time. And that's not good. I mean, that's probably the opposite to what I should be doing, but it is, yeah.

So it's a very, there's other reasons. I just remembered something else. So there's probably other reasons why I didn't like swimming, but it's just, it wasn't for me.

And there's various, various different things, but there's without, I don't want to go into different phobias and stuff. That's not what this is about, but there is some things in my life that I used to be very phobic, not a huge amount of things, but a good little cluster of things. And what I noticed is, I think with Andre, I was no longer scared of, I wasn't scared of ferrets anymore.

I wasn't scared of little creatures the way I used to be. When we had mice here, I don't get many, but occasionally one gets in, that, my absolute terror of that is gone. It's annoyance now.

If it happens, it's annoyance, you know, so I'm not scared, just annoyed. And then I think my friend getting this snake and I, you know, I'm used to it being in the same room as me and watching, I'm down there quite often, you know, it's there in the room, I can see it. And one day I did touch it, a few weeks back, I touched it, just stroked it.

I didn't hold it, but I stroked it, which is something that I never would have done. 20 years ago, I wouldn't have done that. Not for any money, honestly, you could have, I would not, I wouldn't have even been in the same room as you.

I wouldn't have gone in that room 20 years ago. So what I noticed is when I got on the plane, a couple of months back, long haul plane or two planes, six and a half hours each, seven hours one, six and a half one. Never been on a plane for that long, only for like two hours, I think, before.

Really didn't like planes. It was one of our biggest fears it was. I didn't have that anymore.

I didn't have that fear that I used to have for planes. I didn't do any hypnosis before going on. I was prepared to do that because there's different techniques and ways of, you know, calming myself down.

And I just didn't have that. I didn't have that same feeling that I used to have. Now, it's been 20 years since I last got on a plane.

So that is a long time ago, but I still remember it very vividly and how unpleasant it was. And that was only from here to Bulgaria, which isn't a long journey. I mean, if I remember, there wasn't even an in-flight meal.

I don't think it was long enough even for that. So it was kind of like, oh, so that's why I'm thinking that, yeah, if one can strengthen the others, but loosening one can loosen the others as well. Maybe they're all kind of connected to the same source of energy, like negative energy, maybe, or maybe fear doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing, does it? It's a way that we cope, I guess.

I know coping is weird, isn't it? It's like, oh, I've just seen a, what is that? A spider. I think there's another thing. I'm not, I'm not bothered by wasps.

Now, if you're on a, like a bus or something, and a wasp, you know, flies into the window, the amount of activity of people getting scared and screaming and moving around. I just sit there. I genuinely, genuinely have not been stung by a wasp since I was a child.

Not at all, nothing. And I got stung a lot when I was a kid. And, you know, I had a reason to be scared of them because I had one got in my ear once and stung me continuously in my bad ear, the ear that I was partly deaf in, and I had already had earache in that ear anyway.

But I kind of realized that if you leave them alone, they leave you alone. And if it does get too close, you can just swat it out of the way. You know what I mean? Because you can move fast enough.

It's not like a fly. Flies can be very quick. Of course, you can swat a fly, but flies generally, they're way quicker than us.

Wasps aren't that quick. Bees aren't that quick, but they fly in weird directions. It's like always moving around left or right.

You know, it's like, which way are you going to go next? I mean, let's face it, if you was a sniper trying to get a bee, it'd be practically impossible. It keeps moving around, sir. It's up, it's down, it's left, it's right.

I don't know where it's going. Neither does the bee. Daddy long legs are the worst.

How did daddy long legs survive? How did they manage to? How? Just generally, how? How are they still around? How did they get to the position of mating and having new babies as opposed to old babies? But you know, it's like they just don't know where. Flies, how do they survive? I open it, I open it, like bees, wasps, flies are all kind of the same. Almost, I'll open a window.

Now, flies are more intelligent than bees and wasps because they can normally find a way out. If you open a window, it won't take long for a fly to get out if it wants to get out. But a wasp, like, really? Come on, this is the way.

No, that way, the window's open. Half of this whole area is open now, but you're trying to get out of the one bit of glass. Why? It ain't no way.

Let's not have a conversation with a wasp, it's so weird. Why is everybody so scared of me? I'm only like a bee. No.

Said the chimney. I'm watching the Elvis movie. I've been watching the Elvis movie.

Elvis, Elvis, Elvis. I haven't seen all of it. I think.

Okay, I want to talk about, but I don't want to spoil it for you. I don't want to spoil the story, you know, I don't want to spoil the ending or anything. It's weird because they're doing it from the perspective of the Colonel Sanders, you know, the man in charge of Elvis.

But he's kind of portraying himself as not being the ogre. I'm trying to think of a word, the ogre that he's portrayed as being in the books written about him. And he's saying, I am the snowmaker, the snowmaker.

I make it snow. I'm the snowman. I think he's referring to money when he says snow.

And yeah, so I've not watched all of it. I watched a bit of it. What I have watched all the way through is from.

Now I could give a review of this TV show. And I might do. The problem is it's hard to give a review without giving away the.

The plot, you know, I don't want to give away the storyline. Although if you go on Wikipedia, it tells you everything that happens. Why? It's literally just come out.

Why did I have to tell you everything that happens within every episode? Sometimes I go on Wikipedia, all I want to do find out is when is the next episode going to be on telly or to find out if there's how many episodes there are. So if I'm watching The Walking Dead and it's got to episode eight, I'm thinking, well, how many episodes are there? There and now. I don't know why they do this, but now they have season breaks.

Never used to have that here. So the last season is broken up into three parts. Why don't you just call it different seasons then? You know, all different series.

Why do you have to? Why do you have to call it break it to three parts? That's just silly. The Sopranos did that as well for the last uh series. I think they broke it into two parts.

So you watch like six episodes and you gotta wait another seven months before the next six episodes is on. And I don't like that at all. I think they did it with the Dragons show as well, didn't they? So I don't even know.

Don't even can know when Walking Dead's back. I don't know. But from I've been watching that.

Oh, I just finished it. Watched the last episode tonight. There's 10 episodes and I liked it.

I did. I get a thumbs up. A thumbs up.

And if you liked Lost, it's kind of like a horror version of Lost in a way. It's not anything like Lost, but there's that suspenseful um kind of part of it, you know. And I found that I thought there's a few little bits that reminded me of Lost because one bit where they're writing on the wall.

Some people in the in the show are writing on the wall trying to figure out what's going on. And someone wrote, well the lady wrote a question. I'm not going to say what the question is.

But it's the kind of question that at some point perhaps should have been asked by one of the cast members in Lost. If you watch the show, you might, it might click with you thinking, oh, that must be what he was referring to. It starts, the sentence starts with, did we, and I won't, I'm not gonna, the next letter is S. The next, the next word is S, starts with S. So did we S. The next letter starts with T and the next letter starts with C. So it's, again, you wouldn't be able to guess it.

It's not impossible, of course anything's possible, but I've not given you any information. And if you don't know what from is, if you've not seen it, you wouldn't have the first clue. Like why, why is this person writing a question on the wall? See, it's like, why? Knowing questions, where did they get the marker pens from? Because, you know what, I don't find day-to-day life marker pens are just lying around.

I've got a whiteboard which needs marker pens and I still can't find marker pens. And I actually do write on the wall. I do.

I've got, you know, believe me, it's true. So, above my door, this is the front, I'm in the living room. Above my front, the door that leads out of my living room, I turn, if I go straight ahead, there's a door there.

It's only small and not the door, but the gap really. It's a little hallway. That's the bathroom.

Turn left, that's the kitchen. So, above the door on the wood, I've written, in capitals, I wrote this years ago, I deserve to be happy. Yeah, wrote that years ago.

And let's move this over here. Above the curtains in the living room, it's not on the wall, but it's on a piece of paper I've written. Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit.

You are what you do repeatedly. I got that from a martial arts website, actually. I used to have, underneath my television, you become what you think about.

Now, I got that sentence from Earl Nightingale. You become what you think about. And I've been studying that for a couple of years now, daily.

And really getting my, getting to wrap my head around it. Because, you know, this law of attraction stuff. Some people, like, they read a book and then they start sprouting stuff out about it, as if they understand it.

I'm not saying, you know, people can't understand something by reading a book. But what I've done is looked at it from various different angles, not just read one book, but also listened to loads of speeches and audio tapes, books and stuff like that, videos from quite a few different speakers that study this stuff. And, you know, the book, The Secret, or the movie, The Secret, it's more of a review than anything else.

I didn't feel that I understood what they were talking about. Not really. Then, then I looked at some of the people that were on it.

Now, if you want to find out about The Secret, what is really the law of attraction, if you really want to find, I'd say the two main people, going back years and years, right up to now, Bob Proctor is the man. He taught about The Secret, about the law of attraction for 40, 50 years, something like that. And he had passed away recently, I think it was last year.

It's weird because he was doing, it's not funny, but he was doing live streams. And I used to watch him live. And then one day he wasn't here anymore.

Like, he was in his 80s, I think. And he was still making his recordings and he, he passed away, like, and that was it. And they still play his recordings, they still stream it.

And he's made, blimey, I can't imagine how many recordings he's made. I've listened to all of his audio recordings that are available. I've watched loads of videos, live performances and stuff, seminars that he's done.

And the other person I would suggest is Earl Nightingale. And I find he's my favourite. He's my favourite.

There's, there's something about Earl Nightingale that is possibly, I don't know, the greatest, the greatest self-help, motivational, I'm not sure, probably not motivational or self-help, self-transformational. I'm not quite sure what you want to, or success guru, I don't know what you want to call it. But he's one of the greatest of all time.

He was, he still is, he's, he's not been around for a long time, he's been long gone. But he was phenomenal. And I listen to his recordings nearly every day.

Because even though these recordings are from somewhere from like the 50s, 60s, maybe the 70s, 80s, a long time ago, it still means something now. And yes, some of the references are a little bit outdated. But that's always going to happen.

You know, he's, he was talking to the people of his time. But the message is still there. I'm just thinking, this is someone caveman days.

Great, great motivational speaker, but like, he keeps talking about Tyrannosaurus rexes, and catching elephants, and I don't know, whatever cavemen people did. Like, well, we keep talking about caves for, and he's a caveman. He was a motivational speaker, but he was a caveman.

So he kept, you know, referring to his cave. Yeah, but we don't have caves anymore. I think you'll find we do have caves still.

You don't live in them though, do we? Some people do. Yeah, but I don't. Well, neither do I. So why are you arguing me? Why are you arguing then? I'm not arguing, I'm just agreeing.

You weren't agreeing, were you? No, I was. What do you mean, no, I was? That's like disagreeing and disagreeing that you were agreeing. Yeah, no, yeah, I don't know.

What are you going on about? I don't know anymore. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

So my friend's a couple of little pets. His little pet gave birth to 17 eggs. So I was helping him get the eggs into a carb, not carbocell, not carbonator, whatever you call them, things that keep them warm and stuff.

So he's really excited about that and I'm pleased for him. You know, it's nice to see him excited about something. And yeah, I like that.

I like seeing people excited. And, you know, yeah, I'm not gonna be excited necessarily about something unless it's to do with me, you know, it's not my thing. But I enjoy seeing people being happy.

I enjoy people's success for them, not for me, not for what will I get out of it. But it's nice, you know, if someone won the lottery or someone gets the job of their dreams or finds the person, you know, ask someone out and they go out on a date and it works out really well. It's like good for you.

Good. Unless it's my sister, then not so much. But good for you.

Good for you. I like to celebrate people's victories in life. I'm not really into that whole like jealousy sometimes, but not always.

Most of the time, but rarely. All the time, but never. I'm not really into jealousy because it's not things that I'd want.

I just put just things you can get. You know, belongings, anyone can get belongings. If you if you work hard enough and you save money, whatever.

Eventually, I'm not saying everything. Obviously, we can't all have a private jet. And I can't have I can't have a private jet.

I don't have money for that. But the general things in life, like a television or a car, if that's if that's your dream to have a car, and eventually you can get yourself a car, even if it takes five years, you can get one eventually. So, for me, it's not something that I get jealous over other people's possessions.

I just wish I looked a bit better. I wish I look wish I was a bit taller. Those are the kind of things I'd quite like.

I like to be 6'6 and look like George Clooney or something, you know. A young George Clooney. Not the mess he is now.

Oh, he's still beautiful, isn't he? Damn it. I'd like, you know, that that would be nice because if you got that, you can everything else is it just be more fun in the in. I don't know.

Imagine getting up in the night time where you get up first thing in the morning. I've got to get up. I can't be bothered.

You turn the bathroom light on. You can't be bothered to do all this another day. Then you look in the mirror and George Clooney's looking back at you.

That's a good start to the day, isn't it? That'd perk anyone up. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm super sexy.

Yeah. Instead of when I get up, I'm kind of the opposite. Oh, God, today's going to be a good day.

It's going to be a good day. And then I see myself in the mirror and this is big blob. Oh, I'm going back to bed.

I'm joking, by the way. So I'm going to go. So that's it.

Another day. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Be gentle with yourself. That's love. Bye.