#855 Let me bore you to sleep - I WANT TO BE GENERIC - Jason Newland (26th JUNE 2022)

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bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, and I think being at school or being in the army or working I guess in a big company or big factory where you're around this this sort of people all the time lots of different lots of people but all kind of aimed at the same thing or a university or there's gonna be a lot of potentially a lot of similarities because you're in the same you're in the same game you're playing the same game there's a certain mentality for whatever

we're doing I'm pretty sure that footballers or rugby players people in a team are in the same mindset because operating as a team almost part of a cog part of a cog you know they're like he's the leg he's the arm he's the willy you know I probably end up being the anus but you know you know I was saying basically it's they're all kind of a part of the body and they have to operate together or she or they you know men or women or aliens or whatever and I tell you what I struggle

I'm it's like I know a lot of this is generalization so I don't mean it in a horrible way I'm just just thinking I just want to know why I'm so weird I want to be I want to be generic I really would like to be generic because apparently not everybody thinks or spends much time thinking about stuff and maybe I spend too much time thinking about stuff maybe I've got too much time perhaps if I was chucking coal into an engine of a steam train for 10 hours a day I wouldn't have time to

think about things because I'd be doing that I'd be focused on the night and I realized I'd have to go back about a hundred years or 40 50 60 years to make that probably longer probably yeah maybe a hundred years since we had steam trains regularly but forget that you know just I don't think it has to be a time limit a time zone for whatever I'm thinking about does there maybe maybe maybe maybe baby I had you sugar man that's a good name that's a good surname isn't it I know I worked with someone

and then the name was love that was their surname and it's weird how popular he was it's almost like having the name love from birth and I think his name was Dave love or something like that I know what his name was but I'm just gonna say Dave and he was confident there was a certain confidence that generally only comes with a huge long it's he really just had he oozed confidence and he just was generally a nice bloke but I think having that name love powerful powerful name love Dave love and all the men

liked him and all the women well quite a few of the women really liked him and they let it be known I liked him he was a nice bloke I didn't like the fact that everyone all the women he had this magnetic thing but I wondered I mean he was a good looking bloke but he wasn't he wasn't like super super duper I'm trying to think I've only got there's only two men that I really and I think of actors two men off the top of my head that just are no three actually they're just

pretty like really I guess you could say beautiful face faces or just pretty pretty men Johnny Depp I mean he has to Johnny Depp I have to come come up with come up here look after he come he comes now he is he has to come on the list just because he is so he was really pretty adamant from Adam and the Ants so if you've if you're an adamant fan or if you remember him all you remember is the the makeup they used to wear check him out without his makeup in you know especially

the early days in the early 80s he was really pretty he was a pretty boy I saw an interview with him probably about it's in the last 10 years and he's still pretty but you know he's older but he's still a good-looking man and he's in his late 50s early 60s because he's older than me it's weird I think like how can how can the singer a singer a singer who I listened to when I was 10 be nearly 60 years old that don't make sense well it does if they were 20 years old at

the time because then they're gonna be 10 years older than me they're gonna be 61 it's like oh no but it don't make sense the other one is Peaky Blinders man Cillian Murphy I swear I turn gay every time I see him he's so pretty he's so pretty Cillian Murphy and the other one I've already talked about him in the past I like to have a little gay moment every now and then and he's it's what's his name from Vikings I realized that there was more than one star of the Vikings or Vikings but he

was the the main star in the first three seasons I think and then his son kind of took over and then his other son took over like being the star although you could argue that his wife his first wife was the star one of the one of the main stars of the show but there were other people um it's weird is Loki Floki Floki brother was definitely a major co-star of the whole thing right from start to finish wreck Ragnar Ragnar yeah Ragnar that's the man that was in he was the first like big star

of the show he was so pretty the thing is I'm not gay but I can see when someone's pretty see when a man's I think if I was gay I would definitely want to be with a pretty boy which is weird because usually you don't get two pretty boys together now I realize that's not true but I'm just saying it because I'm making out that I'm pretty you see I mean yeah you can't say that because lots of pretty boys get together no that's that you've missed the point I've just said that I'm pretty and

I'm not you know there's a joke so um there's still people on the news I was here and they say homosexuality so don't say gay and like it's not homosexuality it's homosexual I mean I don't use that word I say gay I mean that's the correct terminology I think these days gay I've got a friend who uses a different word and it's just gotta go with I mean you know some people like they say oh very very strict about what friends they have I don't have any friends that disagree with me hmm I have to

my friends have to agree with me I have to be if I only talk to people that agreed with me I have a very well I extremely lonely life I have no one to talk to including myself because I don't even agree with myself half the time I'll say one thing and I think oh do I really think you know my my opinions change with time it's part of life isn't it getting challenged by new things I mean I remember the seeing someone speeding in a car speeding like really rare and I was like idiot

I've always had an issue with speeding I think it was because of a car accident when I was a very small child and and I think that maybe that's why I don't know and there's a part of me that is very law-abiding there is a part of me that just believes the rules should be followed unless of course I decide not to you know there's always that caveat you know well if I choose not to then it's fine but everybody else should follow the law the feet of the law should be followed by everybody so

I see the person speeding and then I see the same car pull up outside my house and it's someone I know like a friend or someone and instantly I'm in conflict between wanting them executed and what and say oh you're right giving them a hug it's like oh damn it I've had an issue with people at speed I'm not really sure what it is because everyone pretty much does it it's it's a standard thing that I've noticed I mean I know not everybody does it not everybody does everything do they I mean not all men

go to the toilet sitting down before you say well I thought all men went to the toilet standing up I'm not talking from the front from the I'm not talking from the front entrance I'm talking from the back entrance and from the back door the rubbish bin can you put the rubbish out okay from the back door I'm sure some men can do it standing up actually that might not be true I don't know no I suppose yeah I suppose railways I don't know just yeah people are different aren't they why did I get on

to that speeding cars how did it get on from speeding cars to toilets I don't know but silly and Murphy I mean the first of it it's taken me 20 years to learn how to say his name I remember in the past like someone asked me oh who's that actor in 21 days later oh it's um I couldn't say his name that's I honestly I used to get embarrassed like oh and I'd have to say it really kind of quite quietly it's silly and we silly and couldn't really struggle to say his name silly and

that's like a visual slapstick wasn't it weird made me laugh what didn't really maybe almost chuckle love to be interested in football or rugby I've done very little of what men of my generation were kind of expected to do that's a good way of putting it men of my generation were expected the kind of things are expected of men of my generation leaving school in 1986 what was expected not everyone did it but what was expected was that I suppose you know for the first couple of years there was not a huge expectation you know

some some would stay at school and do a levels and then go on to university that I mean that wasn't an option for me and in them days you could only go to university if you had a levels and you could only do a levels if you had O levels which was the precursor to see GC GCEs or GCSEs in England I don't know what they have in other places I didn't even do GCSEs I didn't do O levels rather I did CSEs and even then I didn't always do CSEs I did City and Guilds

as well now City and Guilds is basically I did I did maths City and Guilds maths City and Guilds if you look at it generally is a it's a qualification for welding kind of you know or working on engines and stuff or bricklaying it's not generally used for mathematics I think it would probably be City and Guilds for maths would be very very basic mathematics by someone that had never learnt maths before you know it's it's almost I guess for someone that's lived in a box their whole life and then got found in the jungle

and been raised by squirrels and didn't have any education any normal education I mean experts on hiding nuts but then kind of you know they'd go to school for a year and their their exam would be a City and Guilds which is basically I think we've got to do just write down one to ten and then you kind of pass well I failed that one I failed all of my exams every single exam I ever did at school I failed and which meant there was no it there was no going to university for me luckily

as an adult and I'm talking I was 37 when I went to university things were different so it's 21 years later no 22 years later 21 and a half years later I started university and I didn't have any qualifications and it didn't matter and so yeah and I ended up with a degree oh no you're a clever girl so yeah I don't know what my point was on that oh yeah it was expected that in my generation we'd get our exams then get a job maybe you look for a job that was useful to society

I worked in a chip shop and on some level so like what what use is that to society but it's a lot of use because it feeds people some would argue there's no better job in the world than working in a chip shop because you're feeding people and everybody needs to eat and fish is very healthy not fried but you know it's still healthy and so technically I've really thought about like this for the first two years of my work life I was feeding hungry people I mean the fact that they were paying and all

that forgetting that part that's not a bad way to earn a living is it feeding hungry people I never thought of it like that perhaps yeah by changing the by changing my perspective of it transforms how wonderful I feel it wasn't a waste of two years hmm so what other things yeah so I suppose to do that other things you're expected of my generation boys not quite men but leaving school was to have a girlfriend and although it wasn't legal to drink alcohol until the age of 18 or go into nightclubs going to pubs drinking

alcohol wasn't legal until the age of 18 it was expected by pretty much everyone the 16 year olds would go into the pub and into nightclubs it was just expected because that's what they did that's what their parents probably did before them I mean I think there was a time in England where you could go into the pub you go into any pub and you'd see six seven year olds sitting at the bar smoking and drinking playing pool obviously they'd be standing on each other's shoulders to play pool but still unless they had like really

small tables I guess the barstools would have to have like three or four cushions on them but it was standard back then I mean the amount of people that I've met in the past saying I started smoking when I was four years old four years old that's nothing I was in the womb in the womb that's nothing I was in me dad's yeah I just I did go to the pub but if you pub is it's short for pubic lice that's not it's it's a pub is a it's a place where I guess like a

bar but it's just a place where people go used to go to socialize really and they sold alcohol and cigarettes and pork scratch ins and in the olden days there would be they would hide from werewolves and vampires and stuff and Jack there was they'd have games as well I mean more recently or you know the last hundred years or whatever they'd have pool or snooker darts then going back further they'd have things like skittles and I think they used to use it yeah I used to sort of play with three sticks so I have

two sticks holding one in each hand and then moving them balancing another stick between the two sticks I think that was quite a popular thing I also they have television so they'd have boxing maybe a football stuff like that on with pubs so it was kind of expected that I would go into a pub and I did I did do that but only a couple of times see me and my friend we we had this pub we used to go into and as long as we went in there on a Tuesday or a Wednesday evening

we could get served beer because there was no customers in it was just it was dead there was hardly anyone around now he wouldn't have served us alcohol had it been busy if it was a Friday or Saturday but because there was no one around he just yeah I think at one point he said how old are you I said I'm 42 and my friend said are you 18 so I am he said all right what do you want two pints of lager please and he'd get me the get it for us Wow it worked

he really thought I was 42 blimey and okay I did it a few times I used to go drinking with my friend Neil and I used to go drinking with another friend but that was probably when I was 17 16 16 to 17 roughly now I don't remember going drinking with anyone else there's only two people I went drinking with and it was more yeah happened a few times I must have there must have been a few pubs that served us there was a handful very small because I lived in a town but there's lots

of pubs there because it was a it used to be a holiday resort and it still was quite popular with elderly people and so there was and also it was it was a town but it was very there wasn't much near it you know the nearest town was a good half an hour drive and the buses stopped you know there's like one bus every every three months so the pubs would be busy in those days still you know even in the middle 80s late 80s pubs would be very busy even during the week sometimes but

I guess one of the good things about living in a place like that if you enjoy going to the pub you can you can call a bunch of pubs your local because it's generally not far to walk I mean if you live near the sea like near the beach there was so many pubs were there I wasn't I mean I say there was like there wasn't huge huge and huge lots of pubs but there was a handful there was on the beaches one two three four five six at least six I think pubs along the

beach looks quite a distance over six maybe more maybe six and then as you move up you go uphill no there was a wine bar around the corner as well so that's seven and there were pubs like further out in different parts and not far from the beach if you go up and it was literally in the same road as where I grew up from the ages of 9 to 15 there was a pub there it's still there still there it's been there a long time I mean technically that should have been my local pub

if I'd have had a I thought it's like a normal early adulthood you know maybe still staying at home till I was maybe 18 19 20 or whatever I mean if it was today's I'd probably still be at home now wouldn't I but I just never I used to go in there because my friend who I used to go drinking with when I was about 16 17 his dad was he used to prop the bar up in there that was his that was his local and he literally come out the pub walk up the end

of one road and that's where he lived so he was he wasn't more than five minutes from where he lived and that that's what a local should be I think if you have to walk more than five minutes that's not a local even though if you live in a small town everywhere is a local really I don't have a pub near me at all I kind of wish I did because before I moved to this town back in 2007 it was November 2007 I moved away from where I was living before because I was that's

where this is where I was studying and my local pub there was it was in the same road that I lived but I lived in the longest road in history so it was a good half an hour walk okay maybe not maybe 25 minutes I still too far but that was my local and I went in there for years for probably at least I don't know how many couple of years anyway and I'd sit in there I didn't talk to anyone I just sat there was the saloon bar and then there was the main bar

no one went into the saloon bar except me and that's the place for those tables and chairs and people could go in you know sit down at a table most of the people in the other bar where it was nice and busy and active so I'd sit in my part on my own and I just drink and I got to know the I got to know the landlord and landlady and stuff and I just sit there and listen to the music and just chill out for a couple of hours and go home and then when

I moved I thought to myself where will I get a local pub will there be a pub near me so I moved into this what was it a bungalow not a bungalow cottage yeah wasn't the first cottage I've been in but it was a cottage and I didn't realize when I moved in there but I don't want to my land I think my landlady said I'm just I'm off to I'm off to the pub so she went out the door she came back with a bag I said oh I thought you off to the pub

she said yeah I've just been I just come back what I said where's the pub then so she took me out there and it was literally across the path and it wasn't a real road is more like a dirt road that's my memory it probably was a real road actually but I can't remember but across the road it was a pub I call it sign built a nice pub actually not not nice as in I say not nice as in nice people I mean I'm sure the people were fine I didn't really get to know

them but it was like there was two bars one was where the young people kind of hung out with the pool table and the older people would spend time in the other bar like the saloon bar and I would sit separately from all of them on one of the tables and chairs I like tables and chairs it's just I don't know just prefer that I got a thing got a fetish for tables and chairs and I drink you know I buy my landlord and landlady drinks and stuff but then I just I wouldn't normally sit

at the bar occasionally I would but generally I just sit at the table I don't know what I did reading a book or working on some coursework or something I don't know yeah so that was my local I'd have food yeah I'd go in and I'd eat so I used to provide food so that was quite good for me so it was an excuse to go in there as well so I'd eat quite regularly in there have an evening meal had my Sunday dinner as well yeah I even went in there one day for my

birthday and it was I think it was a Sunday and my dad and my stepmom came and we had dinner in there that's a weird noise I just had a yeah how weird yeah and it was yeah I remember we had dinner and dessert and stuff I think I had a apple crumble and cream or something like that maybe ice cream that wasn't the whole dinner I had a roast dinner first it was alright it was you know I'm not a connoisseur when it comes to food I'm genuinely not I just eat you know I

like things to be nice taste nice and and to not have to chew too much I do chew don't mind I'm not a snake I mean I do don't walk around or maybe that explains the belly I just haven't digested that Fox that I ate earlier seven years ago still there no what was I talking about it was okay to eat there it was alright it's this yeah this is cool but pubs I really went into pubs I didn't go into pubs on my own I went to pubs where there was comedy nights on so

I've been in you know hundreds of pubs when I was in my 20s just because that's where there was a comedy night or a comedy club was running from the pub in their room upstairs or whatever by actually going into pubs when I was when I lived in London I really rarely went into a pub on my own it was really rare so I generally be with someone and I think the most fun I ever had in a pub probably ever in fact was when I went in there was this bloke I worked with and

he was it was just a temp just like me and I'd never met him before and we ended up working together all day and he was I didn't realize at the time it was practically blind really really really bad eyesight it's not relevant to the story but he told me some stuff about that later but he said you want to go for a drink and my first reaction because it's the end of the day we'd all finished my first reaction is I've just spent all day with you I don't want to spend any more time

with you that's my natural reaction to anybody who says you want to go for a drink but I just for some reason said yeah right or he might have said do you want to go for a drink I'll tell you all about Arthur because he's known our supervisor called Arthur it was a complete he was difficult difficult person he knew him I think they'd even gone to school together so they knew very well and I wanted to hear some gossip so we went went to the pub and I can honestly say he had me laughing

like really laughing for about three or four hours solid I was laughing my eye it was one of the best pub experiences of my life and he was hilarious and his stories were so funny the way he told the stories and it was just is I can only remember one story and I have told it before so I won't tell it again you'd have to go back a few years to find that story he just had me laughing I remember I remember exactly where we were sitting and he just just he just had me he

really had me laughing a lot because it was so many stories are so silly they're funny very silly and he's a lovely bloke I should have kept in contact with him really but it almost doesn't seem right to to keep someone around because they entertain you you know it's is that is that a basis of a friendship I don't know maybe it is but I haven't met many people that make me laugh like that he made me laugh really made me laugh and yeah I've met people that made me laugh but not not super funny

there was someone I worked with in insurance and he was funny as well he used to make me laugh he was also annoying and but we became good friends and he he ended up working at the same two different insurance companies that I worked at so we kind of continued our friendship even though it had been a year or whatever the year and a half two years since we last saw each other and we continued our ritual of going to the Pizza Hut which is a pizza place you can eat pizza like a pizza restaurant

but they what they do is what they did don't know if they still do it at lunchtime between the cut you know I don't know 12 and 2 or something you could eat as much as you could for I don't know 12 pound you can eat as much of the pizzas you can get into yourself and you just help yourself you go up and all the pizzas are there you just help yourself to slices and it was good I like their pizza as well actually I haven't had a Pizza Hut pizza for a long many

many many years it's I probably probably my favorite actually but I haven't just haven't been there for a long time so we used to do that I think once a week or every couple of weeks or something we'd go and do the pizza Pizza Hut I remember and he was younger than me quite a quite a bit younger and I was about 31 when I started working at Churchill and he was I think he was only about 18 yeah it's only 18 so he was a lot lot young well it's quite a lot younger at

that age you know now he's probably a lot he's not that much younger than me now I'm 51 he's probably about 45 now I imagine and we went what do we do yeah but once this was later on this is yeah later on probably in the second job we worked together we went out for lunch and there was candles and flowers on all the tables we realized it was Valentine's Day it was a Friday and it's a Valentine's Day I didn't know it's Valentine's Day how am I supposed to know when Valentine's Day is I'm

only gonna know that if I'm in a relationship because I'm gonna get told and reminded I'm not gonna know any other way why would I know and just I remember having to tell him look we just have to be friends you know this there's no romance here and he said oh but we get on so well I said no I said look stop holding my hand but I love you now none of that happened but it was weird going in and almost being in a romantic environment when all we wanted to do was stuff as

much pizza into our mouths as we could another time and this is earlier on this is back at Churchill days when he was still a teenager and I was I wasn't he we went out and I don't know where he went I just went into town could we used to go out and get food sometimes going I think go to the Pizza Hut but on this occasion he needed to get some new shoes and he asked he said oh the lady said oh can I help and he said yeah I'll go get some new shoes

and she said well we have them in different we have quite a few different ones different colors and you know whatever they can get you can get your shoes measured and your feet measured and I realized that she was talking to me and she asked me what size is he what size shoe is he and I realized that she thought I was his dad she thought I was bringing my son out to buy him some shoes and he was only 12 years younger than me so technically yeah I suppose you know biologically probably not but

you know technically I suppose I could be a father at that age but I wouldn't have a twelve year old son would I I didn't look like I was 45 he looked young yeah he probably looked about 13 so he clearly he looked young and I looked old I said he's not my son you know and she said sorry I thought he was a boy I said no he's not my child it's not my daughter either anyway that's it this has been another ramble bamble about nothing I want to go thank you for listening remember

to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye