#837 Let me bore you to sleep - THAILAND - Jason Newland (16th MAY 2022)

Hello Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. This is a special edition, special in ways that you're never going to know. I'm not going to tell you.

I'm going to keep it a secret. It's a special secret. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Well, where do I start? Where do I start? Shall I start where I am now? I am currently looking at myself in the mirror, which is not how I normally make these recordings. Not normally. I'm sitting at a... I don't know.

I guess it's like a desk kind of dressing table with a stool that I'm sitting on. It's not a bit of poo. It's actually just a normal stool.

And I'm not sitting on poo. Why would I be sitting on poo? What a weird thing to say. And I'm using the microphone that I normally use.

But I'm not doing it how I normally do. I'm actually doing it, recording it using the iPhone with the microphone plugged in, if that makes sense. Normally, I'll be doing this at my desk, you know, in my office, which is my living room.

You know, it's not really an office, not really much of a living room. It's not very inviting to humans, other humans. But it is mine.

And there's only one seat for visitors. That's on purpose. It's a very purposeful act.

Besides, I don't really like talking to more than one person at a time, which is why I make this podcast. Because I just like to talk just to you. Just to you.

Yep, I'm talking to you. Yeah. I just played someone a bit of my podcast, someone that's never listened to it before.

And they started making fun of the way I talk. Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And my name is Jason Newland.

I do not talk like that. I do not talk like that. I'll tell you what's weird.

Where I am is... Do you want to guess? Do you want to guess? I'm in Thailand. Don't tell anyone. It's a secret.

I'm in Thailand. Something I wanted to do for quite a while. And three days ago, I decided, I'll give it a go.

Do the Thailand Pass. Jump through all the hoops they wanted me to jump through. And just see what happens.

And here I am. Got here yesterday. Today is Sunday.

So I arrived Saturday evening, and I left Friday evening from London. So I left London about 20 to 9 in the evening. Arrived in Thailand at 7 in the evening.

And there and Thailand is six hours ahead of England. But where I am, maybe different parts of Thailand got different time zones, like in America. In England, we only have, or in Britain, I don't know, you know, England, Scotland and Wales.

I think Ireland as well have the same time zone. Pretty sure. Unless Ireland's got a different time zone.

I don't, I think it's got the same time zone as us in England and Scotland and Wales. But here, where I am, six hours ahead. Technically, where I am, it's two o'clock in the morning on I think it's the 16th of May 2022.

And I left on the 13th of May 2022. 13 and 14, 15, 16. So yeah, this is, this has only been my first day here, really.

Because I got here yesterday evening. Feels like I've been here forever. But was it yes? Yeah.

Yeah, wow. So it's weird, because the old time difference, I didn't think personally, I didn't think that it'd make any difference to me because my, the way I live my life, I just sleep here and there, you know, sleep during the day or evening or night or whenever, just do I want. But I was lying in bed.

I didn't know what time it was actually last night. And I was wide awake. And I thought, so I got up.

And it was gone three in the morning. So I thought I'll go for a walk. And everything was closed.

Everything outside was closed and all the bars and the clubs and all that stuff. They were all basically all the staff were not honestly partying, but sitting outside drinking, smoking, listening to music. There's a lot of that going on, as well as street cleaning going on and people recycling stuff, bottles and I guess, refilling and you know, so a lot of work going on behind the scenes.

And I went for a walk. And you know, nodded to a few people and I was just walking down a street. I think it was four o'clock in the morning this point.

And I got to this certain part and it was right at the end of the road. And there's this like park little area and I heard the weirdest noises of an animal that I really didn't want to meet. It was almost like that kind of thing.

So I just thought I can't remember what I thought but I decided to turn back and walk away. Away. Which is what I did.

I did. I really did. That's what I did.

Oh, yeah. Now we'll just point out you might, I don't know if you can hear it. In the background, there is a humming sound.

Don't worry, it's nothing weird. It's I didn't want to I didn't want to travel on a plane with that thing in my bag. It is the air conditioning.

It's the air conditioning comes on and off because it's like 32 degrees outside or something like that. Or I don't know. At night, it does get not cool, but there's a little bit of a cool breeze, which is quite nice.

But I've not been here. Well, I was in bed till three o'clock this afternoon. So I've not been around during the hot period like day, you know, midday and stuff.

And I don't really intend to go out in that to be fair. I'm just going to stay in. And watch television.

Yeah, it's a really good television in there. But no English speaking channels at all at all. So.

It's weird. I'm kind of missing the old TV a little bit. I don't even watch much normal telly, you know, as it were, watch the news and stuff like that.

But early in the morning, sometimes I watch Cheers on channel four. But yeah, most of the time, it's more like Netflix, stuff like that. But there's nothing here to watch.

Nothing. Nothing. You need to figure it out.

There must be a way to figure it out. I don't know what I don't know how, but it must. There must be a way.

It must. There must be a way. The thing is, if I do get Netflix, I'll just be staying in now watching that.

Don't want to go out no more. Been there done that walked about. Right.

Let's let's go through the story. Shall we? Let's go through the story from the beginning. First of all, I should just I want to point out that this they say Thailand is a land of smiles.

It should be called the land of steps. And the land of trips, because I have tripped and fallen down steps about seven, eight times so far. So far, nearly been hit by motorbikes by cars.

It's it's a jungle out there and then it's like, well, yeah, you're in Thailand. Of course, it's a jungle out there, isn't it? Hey, I don't I'm not in the jungle park, but the traffic is ridiculous. And it was a quiet day today because it's Buddha Day.

Well, it was, you know, Sunday. It's now Monday, I guess, but still Sunday to me because I'm still awake. And if you're in the UK, it's still Sunday at the moment.

In fact, when this is uploaded, it'll still be Sunday in the UK. Yeah. Yeah.

I was going to bring my iPad with me so that I could edit, make some videos, maybe do some recording, you know, edit the recordings, because normally I record this on the iPhone on the iPad, rather. Did I say iPad? iPad? That's what I meant. Well, I can't do much in a way of editing, and I can't really add music either.

So these anything I do here, this might be the only podcast I do. If I do more, it will be just me talking, no music, no long recordings. That won't happen until I get back.

Yeah, so sorry about that. I hope you forgive me. Please forgive me.

I'm doing my best. Sometimes my bestest isn't good enough. I don't know what to say, but sorry.

So yeah, it's strange, strange, strange, strange, strange being here, strange being anywhere, really. I mean, I'm glad there's air conditioning. I'll tell you that for no, no problem with telling you that I'm so pleased that there's air conditioning everywhere.

Every shop. I mean, to be fair, I think the shops get customers in because they just need to get out of heat. So they make money from that because some people would be too embarrassed to not buy something.

I know some people would just pretend, you know, just browse for an hour. But I can't do that. I can't browse.

Tired, tired. Maybe that's a good sign. Maybe I'll get some, get a bit of sleep tonight.

Still haven't had any Thai food yet. Not Thai for you to Thai food. No Thai food.

I had a burger earlier at Hooters. I don't know. It's weird.

I met the loveliest lady in there today. I went in there last night to eat and they said, nope, we're closed. Everything closes at 11.

This is about 12 or one in the morning. I just figured everything would still be open. Because it's not England.

I just figured to be in a tourist destination. But due because of COVID. Yeah, I said the word.

I don't normally mention it because of that thing. A lot of places are closed, like completely closed here. A lot of shops, even the Bureau did change, you know, the way you can get your money changed.

There's two just around the corner closed. And there's closed shops closed. There's all kinds of things closed, nightclubs closed, like forever, you know, empty, empty shops, empty stores, empty nightclubs.

There's still lots there, still lots going on. But it's kind of weird. You don't really, I think at night, like eight, nine o'clock.

Because well, I went around last night, walked around so many people. And there's so much bright lights and so much noise and so many things that are open. You don't notice the things that are not open.

But walk around during the daytime or like, you know, when there's when it's not busy, you get because you can't see. I think there's so many people you can't see the shops or you can't see the nightclubs that are closed, because there's so many people around. But when there's no one else around, you can see it is very, it looks almost derelict, especially when the other stuff isn't open.

That makes sense. So I was walking at four o'clock in the morning. And it was a mixture of closed shops and closed nightclubs and like permanently boarded up.

Well, not permanently, but boarded up until someone else takes the lease or whatever. And then you got people that are that you know, they're kind of just sitting out having a drink at the end of the night, because they've done their, you know, they've worked and having a this the after, not the after party, but you know, maybe sometimes, but you know, I deserve it. If they've been working all day, up to two o'clock in the evening or whatever, I don't know what time they deserve to rest.

And that's what I used to do when I was a DJ. When they when the comedy club closed, we'd all stay behind and have a few drinks, sometimes till early hours of the morning. In fact, it was always early hours of the morning because we didn't close till early hours of the morning.

I forgot. Sometimes just one drink, sometimes we stay and have a few drinks. It depended.

Keep trying to pause this thing. So basically, Tuesday, I decided last Tuesday I decided I basically was lying on my bed. And she do.

And it was probably what 11 o'clock in the morning, 1011. And I was lying there feeling sorry for myself. Bored.

Just not wanting to do anything. And I thought, you know what? I could just lie here. I could have an adventure.

An adventure. So I just lied there. I thought, No, I'm still there.

Now. This is a dream. Now I thought, Oh, okay.

Let's just do it. Hell, hell, why not? Because it takes a minimum of 48 hours, they say to get the Thailand pass back. And the Thailand pass is a form you have to fill in online.

And you have to provide evidence in the form of PDFs or images to say that you're insured you've got the all the vaccines that you've got to show proof of your passport, proof of the hotel, also proof that you're booked also proof of the the flight, all the details of that. And also proof of proof of insurance. I don't know if I mentioned that already.

So it's quite a lot to do. Quite a lot. So while I was doing the pass, I was also doing all the other stuff at the same time.

So I was on line for hours doing this thing. And you know, trying to convert PDFs into images, images into PDFs. Eventually, I got it all done.

And I pressed send. And the actual Thai pass itself is free. But all the other stuff costs money, which you know, the insurance is very cheap.

So and the hotel is cheap as well, really, to be fair. It's Yeah, and blimey. It's Yeah, it's good.

Got a good deal on hotel. So I was really surprised with the flight. If I cancelled the flight within a certain time, I would get I would lose 200 pound by get the rest back.

However, if I didn't turn up for the flight at all, they would charge me an extra 200 pound. How ridiculous is that? Why? Why charge me extra money if I don't go? I mean, if I don't turn up, that's food you're not spending on me. That's, you know, it's well, I don't know what how's it costing them more money.

Bearing in mind, I should just point out that the flight was not full. None of the flights were full. People are not traveling the way they used to.

Let's still travel in the way they used to. They're not hand gliding to different countries. But you know, it's still not motorboat in their motorboat.

And so yeah, it's it's kind of weird, really. But hey, that's their rules today. What can I do? 16 hours it took me to get here.

16 hours. That's from the airport. That's from Heathrow Airport to Bangkok.

Bangkok Airport. Suravati I can't say the name of it. So that's where I arrived there.

And then there's another two hours to get to the hotel from Bangkok hotel from Bangkok airport. Sorry. Why am I apologizing? No one cared.

No one listening to this anyway. There's only four people ever listen. You know, there's only four four of us.

That's included me. And my mom. And the neighbor.

That's it. And the man. So I left my house.

I left my house at 10 to 11 or 1049. I got the bus. So I left my house at about half past 10 to get to the bus.

So I left my house at half past 10. And I arrived here. It was it was getting on to about 1030.

In the evening, when I finally arrived. I say, yeah, no, at least 10. I'd say more about 10 o'clock.

I got here about 10. Just after 10. Yeah, about 10 past 10.

Something like that. It's not really that important. You don't need to be that specificity.

It's okay. Don't mind a bit specificity. Call the sun a bit.

But I've been very careful because I don't have the right skin for sun, which I'm aware of. Something I wasn't aware of, but I will. Which I need to address at some point.

That's a separate thing, which I will discuss another time. Today is not the day for that. And my arms are sitting in front of the mirror.

I've got my top off because I have to really even with the air conditioning on. It's not it's weird because it's cool. It's not cold that night, you know.

And air conditioning. I've been in offices with air conditioning and normally have to wear a jumper. Even in the summer, I have to wear a jumper and then you go outside and forget because you literally you'd be like sniffing and that because it's so cold.

And you go outside and you get the heat hit you. This is similar but it's not that cold. You know, the air conditioning keeps it cool but it's not like a fridge.

Which is good because I don't really want to be in a fridge. If I wanted to be in a fridge, I just bought a really big fridge and sat in that. Why would I do that? Well, I don't know, but I don't want to do that.

I'm saying I don't want it. I mean, I'm allowed to tell you about things I don't want to do, aren't I? Come on, don't judge. Don't judge me, man.

I'm just like you. You and you and you, not you. You can go away.

But you, you can stay. Stay. Come on over.

Let's have some sandwiches. So yeah, basically, the first I had a bit of a bit of a problem with getting my prescriptions and stuff like that. But I asked my friend to come with me to the train station.

But before the train station, we're going to go to the pharmacy and get my medication for the month. And I was going to give him the cocodamil, which I have for my pain for my my arthritis in my lower back. So I have cocodamil.

Anyway, they've got codeine in and codeine is illegal to bring codeine into Thailand. It's so heroin and cocaine apparently. I can't believe there needs to be a list.

And I understand is it needs to be a list of it's got codeine or something that is just normal where I live. And you know, to to have a list of things to make sure and you know, be so that I don't end up in prison for the next 25 years. Having something that I take at home.

I mean, that would just be ridiculous. So you know, I mean, I like to think that they would understand and like say, okay, we're taking it off here. But you know, we're not going to shoot you.

That'd be nice. That'd be pleasant. Nice surprise.

Especially as it's got my name on it. And it's the NHS and you know, but I don't know. It's on a list of banned substances on the same list.

And there's three categories. It's not in the same category as heroin or cocaine. But it's still on that list.

There's three different categories. And you know, I'm pretty sure that a prescription cocodamil with my name on it, NHS with a date with my national insurance number, blah, blah, blah, that could be checked. And wouldn't, I wouldn't get the same as what I would get if I had tried to smuggle in two kilos of heroin up my bum.

So it's, you know, I'm pretty sure but I don't know. Honestly, they're very, very unforgiving when it comes to drugs here. Especially as weird as someone offered me someone offered me today.

Puff weed is like, you try to offer me weed. I don't want to go to prison go away. But there's a weed shop.

I think it's actually a shop where people are smoking weed. It's like what's going on here? I really am a little bit I don't know. I don't smoke weed anyway.

So it's not something that I'm going to start doing in a country where they until recently put people in front of a firing squad for drugs. For you know, just being in possession of drugs. I mean, that's a dampener on any holiday, isn't it? I mean, some people say a holiday from hell.

Well, how was your holiday? I got shot dead. Wish he was here. You know.

So I gave the coke. I was going to give the coke to my friend and he was going to bring it home and keep it for when I got home. He was ill.

So we managed to get to the bus stop and then he had to go home because he wasn't very well. I personally think he was just really upset that he wasn't going to see me for a little while. And he he was just worried that his emotions would come out.

No, he wasn't. Well, so he went. I'm going to miss that man.

And what else? So he went. I got the bus to the train station. I went to the pharmacy.

The pharmacy didn't have my prescription. I was like, okay. Okay.

Okay, you don't have my prescription. And they said, no, we haven't received it. I said, well.

Oh, I don't understand what's going on. So I'd already been in a few days earlier and they hadn't received it. And I called the doctors up two days earlier and they said, oh, it's fine.

And just fill in the form, the app. I said, the app's not working. It's not allowing me to fill in the form.

The lady on the phone said, it's okay. I've reset it now. For some reason, it's stopped for some reason, but it should be fine now.

Thank you. I said, oh, thank you for your help. Went online.

I went onto the app. Wasn't working. Wasn't available.

Called them back up and they said, oh, sorry about that. I remember you. You couldn't use the app.

Could you? I said, no, I could use the app. It just wasn't working. She said, oh yeah, it wasn't working, was it? It needs to be reset.

I said, well, I thought you'd done that. Didn't you? She said, look, if you're not happy with the service, you can go to a different surgery. I said, I'm fine.

I'm fine. And, uh, why is it called surgery? I've never seen any operating theaters there. I mean, doctors used to be called doctors, GPs, you know, doctors practice.

General practitioners. No surgery. Like in England, we didn't use to have pharmacies.

We had chemists. Chemists. Boots was a chemist.

That's a pharmacy. Everything's a pharmacy. There's about 600 pharmacies in this road.

Seriously, there's not, but there's a lot. There's a lot. There's even a boot right at the end.

And I went in there and got some suntan lotion and managed to get out of the heat for a while because they had, they had, uh, you know, a nice cool blast blowing around. It's weird. I said to him, how do you, you people, how do you people keep so cool? How come you don't sweat like me? And he said, because we're not fat.

I said, no, I'm seriously. How do you, how do you not sweat? He said, because we're not fat. I said, no, no, just, just come on.

He said, okay. I said, okay, look, I'll ask you, how do you keep so cool? And he pointed this at air conditioning. I said, no, I don't mean in here.

I mean, outside I've been to the beach and I've just been to another place. I don't know what it was. It was a renting boat sound stuff.

It was very, very busy. And there's a lot of Thai people there. Now, when I said, when, when I say that not one of them was sweating, I wasn't checking.

I wasn't like sniffing and like, just go, excuse me a minute. Can I just, can I just check underneath your armpits and your groin? Just see if you're sweating or not. I did not just, just give mum a crack.

Just, just no, I wasn't actually physically checking and I wasn't asking. I didn't do a survey, but I was observing with my little eyes and a little look around, looked around. No one was sweating.

I was, I was soaked. I was, honestly, I just look like I just come back from some kind of Bukkake party. I just honestly, I was just really covered.

And anyway, I just said, I just, I can't, I'm sweating so much. And he said, oh, it's just conditioning. We're just used to it.

That's all. It wasn't satisfactory to me. It wasn't a satisfactory answer because I was also looking around at some of the Westerners or people that look like they're Westerners and people from India.

And, and it's a lot of Indians, like people from India. Here it's very popular for Indians to come to Thailand. It is.

I don't know if it's like not, not too far to travel or something. I don't know. It was 6,000 miles for me.

And big groups, big groups of people from different countries are kind of, it's me all on my own, but there's groups that are just like, I don't know, not used to seeing so many groups of, it's all like, I guess some kind of party, like a big, like took up a whole plane to come here. And it must be, maybe it's a holiday of a lifetime and stuff. And for me, it's just a, just a weekend away.

But for some people, it's a big deal, isn't it? Going to the other side of the world. For me, it's what should I do? Should I, should I eat a lasagna or should I go to Thailand? I thought, ah, should I get a takeout? Or do you, do you fancy, I don't know, Italian. We can go to Italy, get a pizza or order one in.

What do you, what do you fancy? I quite fancy Thai. Thai it is. I don't think that's what my neighbor meant, but you know, I'm quite literal.

He said he wanted a Thai. And so I did that. So I booked the trip.

I think he's still waiting for me to knock on his door actually. Perhaps I should have let him know. I'll send him a picture.

I'll send him a picture of my food. I haven't, I haven't actually had any Thai food yet. Nope.

I haven't. What's your problem with that? I'm just telling you, you don't have to judge me for everything I say. Everything.

What? What? What? What? Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Don't take so seriously.

So yeah. So what I left, I got to the chemist. I phoned up, I phoned up the doctor.

Surgery. Oh, they didn't answer though, did they? Nope. You know, there's a time limit.

I need to get the 1149 train to London. So, you know, I was on a little bit of a time budget, not a huge time budget, but you know, as far as getting the prescription and stuff. Well, I got through eventually.

One nice thing is I was waiting outside and this lady said, Oh, are you waiting? I said, what's it got to do with you? No, I didn't. She said, I said, no, it's all right. I'm just already been in there.

And she said, and she looked in and she said, Oh, do I need to wear a mask to get in here? I said, where have you been for the last two years? And she said, there's no reason. Why would you be like that for? Why would you be like that? I really thought you were a nice man. That's it.

We're over. Oh, come back. Forgive me.

Forgive me. Oh, I love you. Now, she said, is that everyone met? I said, what? She said, everyone wearing masks? I said, Yeah, in here.

Oh, yeah. I said, Yeah, in the pharmacy in the chemist, they're wearing masks. And she said, Oh, I haven't got one.

I don't know. I said, Look, I've got a spare one. And I just got out of pocket.

So I've not not used it or anything. So I just got actually had a few spare ones. And I gave it to her.

And she put it on. And she said, Oh, I wish there was more people like you in the world. And I said, You really don't.

Honestly, you don't. Honestly. You don't want more people like me around.

You really don't. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She said, What do you mean? What do you mean by that then? I said, Oh, no, no, no, no.

I did say to her, Look, you're the first person to ever say that to me. She said, I'd love to stop and chat, but I've now got the mask. I said, Thank you.

I just want to say thank you really want to say to you. I wish there was more people like you around. And it was just always saying thank you.

I didn't actually want to have to stop and chat. And have other things to do. I hope I don't come across as rude, but not really enjoying the conversation right now.

I hope that you don't take this in the wrong way. But now that I've got your mask, I'd like to just get on with my day. Do you understand? Is that okay with you? I mean, maybe in a different life, we could have been friends.

You know, if, if our if our paths had crossed 20 years ago, maybe in 20 years time, we could have got to know each other and maybe enjoyed each other's company. But right now is not a good time for me. I have other things and other obligations and commitments in my life at this moment.

And I don't really feel that our friendship or any kind of communication, future communications really fits in with the way my life is at this time at this juncture. It's okay. I said what? Sorry, because I was on the phone to the doctors.

I'm still always listening. Please press three, we value your custom. Please press two to speak to an advisor.

Please press three. Please press 999. If it's if you need an ambulance, please call any ambulance.

If you need a police, please call the police. If you need an ambulance, please call them. I already said that.

I know it's an answer machine. So yeah, I said yeah, okay, see you. Bye.

tripped her up. And she went in. And that was that.

Got through to the doctors. Oh, yeah. What you didn't know is that she blowed my nose on the on the users a hanky.

So you know, the one that she was wearing on the face was covered in my bogeys. Ah, no, I'm joking. I'm joking.

That's disgusting. I would not do that. And not evil.

Even if someone had been horrible to me, I wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't. I would not.

Not really my thing. No. So yeah, so I gave her that mask.

And she went got through to the doctors. Eventually, I phoned them about five or six times. Eventually, they answered the phone.

And a man answered the phone. So that was a bit weird. Normally, it's a female to answer the phone.

So it wasn't weird, but just because I didn't know any men were working there. So it's just Oh, yeah, but you shouldn't. Well, no, I've been with the doctors since 9 2007.

So what's that? It's 1516 years. I've never spoken to a man on the phone when I've called them. So yeah, it's it's not that weird.

You know, it's like, well, it's a bit different from normal. It's not weird. How dare there be a man there in a woman's job? No, that's not what I said.

It's not what I said. But what I meant. It's just I didn't not spoken to a man on the phone before.

Must have spoken to a man on the phone at least once. I don't mean ever in any phone call talking about a doctor's surgery. Okay.

I've had to call them many times over the years, you know, sort out prescriptions and I don't just give you a prescription. Even if you've got a long term condition, they you have to redo it every six months or something like that. Phone them up.

Talk to a doctor. So it's just just the way it is the way it is. Anyway, he said no, he sent it yesterday sent it sent it five past one in the afternoon.

Which made sense because I actually spoke to the doctor surgery at half 10. I think it was in the morning that the previous day. So I thought okay, takes me a couple of hours to get it processed.

And cool, because I did it online. I'll put it did all the app and everything and it was working fine as far as I could see. And then she said no, yeah, well, should be there.

We've sent it. It's been processed. So I said, Okay, well, I'll go back in there, but they haven't got it.

And you know, I said, Can I get you to speak to the pharmacy? No, we do not do that. We're not allowed to talk to the pharmacy. No, we can't talk to other people.

That's outsiders. They're not one of us. I said, Okay, you're not allowed to do that.

Right. And he said, Let me put you on hold for a minute. It didn't sound anything like the way I've just portrayed him.

He was very, you know, he was he was all right, friendly enough. Not helpful, but friendly. So he goes away.

I'll put on hold for it seemed probably longer than it was. And eventually came back. Nope, it hasn't been sent.

I said, Well, you said it has been sent. He said, Well, it hasn't. The the one that was sent was last month.

In April. I said, Okay. So he said, Well, if you just go back on the app, I said the apps clearly not working because I've done the app.

And I've used the app many times and it's very, it's not, it's not easy app to set up. Because you have to provide evidence of yourself and passport and all that kind of stuff. But once it's set up, it's very easy to use.

Repeat prescriptions, you click on that. And you just click your previous prescription comes up, you just click on the ones you want. And send it's very and it's like just check and you send Yeah, good.

Done. And then it gets sent to them. It's worked really well.

Since I've been using it for the last couple of years. Yeah. The reason I actually got the app was because I had a very rude lady.

Basically say to me, Well, use a different surgery if you're not happy with the service you get here. Because I was I kept phoning to get a prescription. And they weren't doing it.

And I'd spoken to the doctor in person and they didn't do it. And you need a review. You need a review.

I feel like, well, you know, the doctor can actually change my medication. He can change the medication for the arthritis. So you know, increase the codeine or decrease it or whatever.

Put me on a different medication for that. He can do something for the acid reflux. So he can, you know, but the medication I have for bipolar, he can't do anything about that.

As a psychiatric, as a psychiatrist, prescribe me that stuff. So I need to have really a psychiatric evaluation or, or medication review with the psychiatrist. Because he's, they can't just say, Oh, yeah, we're going to put you on more of the mood stabilizers, because it's not his thing.

It's a psychiatrist thing. That's what I was told by the doctor. So there, I didn't make it, I didn't make it up.

That's actually what they said to me. I can't change it. The psychiatrist wrote it down.

I'm not going anywhere near that. No, he might get angry. He wouldn't like him when he's angry.

I kind of do like it, but I don't tell anyone. So, so in, in the end, I said to him, Look, you, I said, I'm going on holiday, I'm going away. And you know, without get all heavy and stuff, I needed to get away.

For my own health, I needed to get away. And it's, it's, I just, I just did. I needed to get away.

I didn't need to come to the other side of the world. But I needed to get away. I mean, technically 6000 miles isn't the other side of the world, but it's not far.

I think Australia is another 4000 miles away from here. Maybe 5000. So yeah, so it's, it's more than halfway across the world.

Because this is a very popular destination for Australians because it's not that far. I think it's about four hours on a plane. Not four hours, not four hours.

4000 miles. Yeah. No, that's weird.

Oh, yeah. No. Yeah.

So 4000 miles to about eight hours. The plane travels about 500 miles an hour most of the time. So six hour flight.

That's just I think it was about three and a half thousand miles or something to Dubai. Something like that. So yeah, and then from Dubai to Thailand.

Thailand. Please, someone just just right and please, please, please, please just do me a favour. Okay.

Go to my website. I know I've not I won't upload this to my website until I get back. So please, if you listen to this, please go to my wherever.

Ideally my Spreaker. Spreaker account and underneath in the comments because I see them. If you put it in in Spotify or iTunes, I won't.

I won't see the comments. I'll see them like eventually in a year or two. But I'll see this because I'll get a message for it.

Please just to tickle me. Because for the sake of puns, just say in the comments, that's a heck of a long way to buy a tie. Okay.

I buy a tie. I mean, like, you know, one you have around your neck tight, you know, that that kind of time. Okay.

And now I've not come here to buy a bride. That's not doesn't really work that way. You can't just walk and say, Oh, yeah, I think I'll choose you.

Come on. What? What? What? Come on. This doesn't really well, you know, because they're human.

That's why very different. This podcast episode could last for hours, I could literally talk for hours about just about the journey. And without talking about what's happened, and what I've noticed since I've been here, just in a short period of time, really.

But I don't want to go on for too long. So I yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the end, the doctor's surgery, I haven't even left the UK yet.

It's still it's 54 minutes in 55 minutes in and not even left my town where I live. Blimey. Let's get on with it.

Get on with it. I keep dawdling. I have to spend so much time talking like this.

I can't help it. Was it 10 1112 1234. Okay.

34. Just working out what time it is. It is 10 to nine in the evening in the UK, I think.

I think something like that. So, but to be fair, when you listen to this, it could be Monday, it could be Wednesday, it could be you might be listening to this in 2039. In March, is now how weird I can't even date 14th of March 2039.

How weird would it be if you're now actually listening right now. And it's 2039 on that date. And then you look up at the clock and it's five past two in the afternoon.

And it make this even weirder. And you look down to your left. And sleeping is a dog little dog sleeping.

Hey, it's almost like I've got psychic abilities. But I don't. But there's a chance that that could be up, you know, I could say to if I just said anything right now.

And it could be true for one person could be true for more than one person. I'll try. Let me if I do my psychic ability.

Okay. Right now. Someone out there has the need to just fall asleep.

Okay, well, another one. Someone out there is feeling very, very bored. Someone out there that's getting very impatient.

And waiting for me to just get on with the story. And actually talk about Thailand and what it's like there. Rather than what it's like at the pharmacy in the town that I live.

Three days ago. No, two days ago. No.

So in the end, I just I said, Well, can you just make I said, Oh, can you just send it? Maybe now? Digitally? I mean, I haven't got like, I haven't got to go up to the loft to get a pigeon out, you know, like stick a little note in its leg. And he's like, Go, go to the go to the pharmacy. Gender prescription, you know, I'm gonna do that.

No smoke signals involved. It's instant. But he said, Look, even if I did that, the doctor still has to sign it.

It's hours, 10 hours, he said. I said, Okay. Because he said, Oh, we're not allowed to do that.

I'm not allowed to send it. No, I can't do it. Can't can't order them on the phone.

Okay. Thanks. Anyway, you take care.

Bye. Love you. Bye.

And so I just I was in the actual I was in the pharmacy with that last bit of the call. And, yeah, I think I might have said a few words after the phone call was finished. Then as I shout thank you to the pharmacy, they were all I think they were hiding behind it.

They didn't want to talk to me anymore. They were kind of pretending to be busy. They probably were actually busy to be fair.

Although I did notice a couple of heads popping up. When I was walking away, I could see in a window, the reflection. So I think they were actually hiding.

So I didn't have to talk to me. It happens a lot. You know, I don't know why.

It's almost like I'm tedious or something. So I went to the train station, which is just across the road from the pharmacy. And this across two roads, actually.

But you know, I three roads in fact, but you know, it's it's not far. I got my hair styled the way my dad has his styled. Because it's hot.

I basically got my hair back. I'm just constantly like pushing my hair back because of the sweat. And the front of it looks quite nice.

Okay. I say nice, but you know, I shaved my head and it's grown back and it's grown back. Okay.

Now, the elevator because I'm on the fifth floor of the hotel. The elevator is the best way to travel. Well, to the floor, I don't mean like to the beach.

I'm coming home dad. I'm dead. Not only do I look like you I'm coming home.

I'm not using the train on getting the elevator. Why did they say elevator? I should have said lift. Lift the lift.

Mind you, the elevator is a nicer word. When I get in it in the morning, I feel I do feel elevated. I feel like oh so.

Oh, it's elevated my mood. I'm ready for the whole day. So yeah, that's nice.

Anyway, it's like mirror to mirror every every wall is a mirror. And there's two lifts. And it's quite a busy hotel.

I haven't seen that many people coming going but I sat outside for about half an hour and there's a lot of people I just haven't seen that many, but quite a few. That's a contradiction. I haven't seen that many when I'm in the hotel.

So I've never seen anyone on my floor at all. I've seen a few doors open this evening, they close the door quickly. Again, are they hiding from me? It's only people that I've spoken to before.

It's almost like they don't want to talk to me again. Hmm. That's strange.

Maybe they just can't handle the the interestingness of my conversation. Maybe that's why I think don't know what you think. Don't care.

Okay. You really don't care at all. Do you Jason? Don't care about us at all.

We're your loyal listeners. And you just don't seem to care. I do care.

I love you all. And you're the reason I'm here. You're the reason I'm doing this.

You're the reason I'm making a podcast while I'm in Thailand on holiday. Instead of, well, there's other things I could be doing. That's all I'm saying.

There's a lot of other things I could be doing right now, which I'm not. Because I'm making a podcast for you. Yeah.

And sitting in front of the mirror, looking at myself looking at my funny face is not doesn't do my ego any good, especially as I got my top off. It's not a pretty sight. It really isn't.

It's weird, because when I have like a headshot, you know, just just my head photograph my head, I think. But then when you include like the rest of my body, it's worse. It's like everything gets worse as I go down.

It meets it's very worst midsection. That's when it's it's worst. And it starts to improve a bit with my legs because I've got my thighs are okay, my calf muscles and I've got these weird feet.

I saw a sign. I need to I need to take I need to I really do need to take my camera out and take some pictures tomorrow. Stuff that I just find quite funny.

And one thing is there's a sign. Oh, what was it? It's got out of my head now because something else is coming to me and it's actually funnier. But I forget what the sign is.

But I saw another sign today. And oh, yeah, no, it's it's it was like a health spa shop thing. There's a lot of different things here.

But there's a lot of health stuff is like, you know, massages, like genuine massage. I actually had a foot massage today. So that was nice.

It's it's weird because after the foot massage, if you sit over here, so I sat on this stool, and she started massaging my shoulders. I thought it's a bit worrying when someone can't tell the difference between your shoulders and your feet. Like I'm just thank God she wasn't doing surgery.

Imagine that. There's a joke there somewhere. I don't know.

Going for ingrown toenail or come out with no arms. I don't know. Anyway, so she was massaging my I said I just said that for the joke.

So yeah, but she did do it. She was massaging my feet. And it was weird because I was just walking past.

It's probably quite a good way to get places in there if you walk past them. So I'm you know, I wouldn't have seen it if I'd been in my hotel room. I wasn't going there for that.

I was actually going for other things like I needed to get myself a SIM card. I need to get myself an iPhone charger because I came out on that one. Yeah, that was good.

And you know what I would say to anyone that's coming to Thailand, or anyone that's going to Australia, or to another country, don't bother with an adapter. Unless you've got lots of different equipment. Yeah.

And if it's basically just your phone that you need to charge, just pay up and get a buy an iPhone or a phone charger for one of the shops locally. It might not be like in an Apple iPhone chart, you know, might not be Apple, but it will be it will do the trick, it will be an iPhone charger. And that's what I did.

I got one and it was 200 baht, which is not much. Really not much at all. 200 is like five a fiver, something like that five pound.

Something like that. Yes, it's not a lot at all. So I can't I haven't really got my head around the currency yet.

What was good is earlier I I bought some fruit off a stall, like fresh fruit. And the lady said it was 40 baht. Okay, which really isn't a lot.

I mean, I can't I can't work out. Honestly, I genuinely can't work out the the amount of things. I've got an I've got an app on my phone.

But I didn't have the phone working until today. Or tonight. Anyway, I gave her a note for it.

And she she handed it back to me. I said, I thought, what's weird? What are you doing? Is it free? Because I'm so handsome. And she said, No, that's not the reason.

She said, you really not? I said, Okay, just just what why you hand the money back? You don't need to go into that. She said, No, but why? Why would you say that? I mean, do you not own a mirror? I said, Come on, can we just get back to the money situation? So you started it. I didn't start it.

You did you come to Thailand? What did you expect? I said, Yeah, I didn't expect the arguments everywhere. She said, What did you expect? Well, for one thing, I didn't expect so many steps to fall over. She said, No, I didn't say what did you not expect? I said, What did you expect? Different question.

Grammar, my dear grammar. Okay, well, I just I don't know. She said there.

Well, the reason I handed the money back, young man, is because it's a 500. But I just I want to point out that the accents different when she was talking. And the English was good.

You know, but I can't do the Thai accent without sounding racist. And I don't want to sound racist. No, no.

In case other people here. But yeah, so they might actually think that someone tie in there. I can't do the voice.

I can't do the accent. I'm just not very good at it. And I actually said to someone in Hooters.

I just want to point out who is I thought I was saying the word Hooters. It's weird. I went in there last night.

I couldn't get any food to close. So I went in tonight. And I got in about nine the close at 10.

Or got in it. Yeah, or 11 or something like that. I don't know.

I got in about 10 the close at 11. Something like anyway, so I was speaking to this lady and she's lovely, absolutely lovely, but very, really friendly. No, I thought you know me for saying lovely because you look nice.

Absolutely gorgeous. But she was friendly. It was about how friendly she was.

Because I'm a very sophisticated man with emotional needs that are way more important and detached and on a higher level than just physical gratification. I have spiritual requirements from my potential life partner. Don't you know? Massive knockers? No.

So she was in Hoot. Well, yeah, but but no, she was in Hooters. I've never been I've heard of Hooters in America.

I didn't really wasn't even sure if they really existed. Like is a chain like a burger chain ribs, ribs, burgers, fries. On a bar, they sell alcohol as well.

Generally, not today, though, because it was Buddha Day. So no alcohol. They must have thought I was like a proper drinker because I went in there said, Oh, no, sorry, we don't have any alcohol.

So I said, so you closed and I said, No, no, just for you. I said, What? When I got no alcohol? Come back tomorrow. I said, I'm not here for alcohol.

I need to eat. She looked down at my belly. So is she sure you're sure you need to really do need to have more? Do you know had enough yet? No, I need to eat.

I'm hungry. She said, Oh, yeah. Okay, come in then.

So thanks. She said, You're welcome. You're welcome.

I said, No, I am. She said. Yeah.

No, she didn't. She's walked off. So I came in very friendly.

She said, I'll get you. I'll get you a seat at the bar. So I thought she was taking making fun of me there a bit, you know, like, Oh, okay.

We'll see whether or not you do drink or not. We're going to sit you at the bar, facing all the alcohol that you're not allowed to have. That'll teach you.

Well, the fact is, I don't drink alcohol really, really, really. I've had probably 10 pints of lager in the last three years. Most of it was when I was visiting my dad.

I think I must have had about five pints, maybe six, seven. I think I had three in Cornwall last year. I haven't had any alcohol since I've been here.

So I could have drunk last night, I could have got this completely drunk very cheaply. But I never ironically, I was gonna actually have a drink. And just like one pint of lager or something with my dinner.

I did have a can of Stella on the first plane. Oh, come on, be honest, you're mildly interested in the plane journey. Come on.

Come on. I know who is is a story you're perhaps interested in as well. I think I think I might have just jumped ahead in the story a little bit too quickly.

He was a little bit impatient to start with, wasn't he? So like, okay, well, at least, at least leave the country, you know, this is staying in your little town. You're the other side of the world, at least get to this part of the story when you're when you're actually doing some travelling. No, I'm staying with Hooters.

So I'm sitting at the bar. And this lady comes up. And boy, no, she's a lady.

Really friendly, like really, really, really, really friendly. And it was the complete opposite to what I'm used to. In England.

I'm not saying there's no friendly people because there are of course there are. But you don't get that. Someone like me, a middle aged man, a middle aged fat man.

Middle aged. I don't want to put myself down. But yeah, just something like me.

Something like me. If I walk into a bar, any bar in England, or a pub, or anything like that. It's very, very, very unlikely that I'm going to have someone be really, really, really friendly to me.

Like really nice as in asking me questions about myself and showing an interest and actually, I'm not saying it why it couldn't happen. I've not travelled to every town in England, or Wales or Scotland. But I'm pretty safe there.

Yeah, and she didn't want anything from me. She got something from me. She got a nice tip.

And it's weird because I guess I gave her a tip because I think, see in England, right? I say England, I realise how important it is for a lot of Welsh people and Scottish people to be thought of as separate. And so I say England. But then when I generalise like that about all England, it might be exactly the same as Scotland and Wales.

But I know some things are different, you know, I just I don't know, it might be the same might not be the same. But in England, where I live, what my not everywhere, get on with it. Okay, get on with it.

We tippings not really a big thing. It's almost it's all needs to be earned a little bit. It's not like I know some places I think in America, some other countries tipping is almost expected like in a big way.

But quite a few places in England that have a gratuitous is it gratuitous? I don't know. Like fee on top of the meal anyway, or service charge. A service charge is you're charging for the service.

That is that is what a tip is, isn't it? When you pace? I mean, I always thought service charges are a bit ridiculous. You can have the food. I'm going to charge you for the food.

But we're also going to charge you for bringing the food to you. When did that happen? That's kind of almost I don't know, it just just seems weird. Really, if you break it down, seems a bit strange.

And the argument used to be like with tipping stuff is that's where their money comes from. Because they're not made, you know, they don't get minimum wage. Well, it's against the law not to pay some minimum wage now in the UK.

I think that's a united thing. It's a you can't you have to pay minimum hourly rate. The thing is, realistically, someone might not be working for a full month or full week, you know, they might only do 23 hours a week.

So a minimum wage, a minimum hourly rate is not going to be enough to live on. So I understand that, you know, some jobs are waiting in a restaurant or wherever is often a part time job for some people. They're studying or maybe they've got two jobs or three jobs on the go.

But I've never, I never really knew what you know, because I'll be honest, I've not really a restaurant frequenter, generally, especially during my life. It's just been takeaways and stuff like that. I have been in restaurants.

But it's not sort of a frequent thing that I do, and especially not recent years. And like an actual restaurant. Like a proper red, not like in a pub, I'm talking about an actual proper, you know, classy up.

Yeah, classy restaurant. The last time I went to a classy restaurant. Okay, this this place wasn't classy, but it wasn't a hotel.

So over 10 years ago, I think I was still at college at the time. So it's over 10 years ago. And, but like a more classy one, the last time was 2006.

So yeah, 1617 years ago. It's weird, I remember that it was in Kent. Kent I said, it was in Kent.

It was a health spa hotel. It was weird because I was with my girlfriend at the time. And we both went to, you know, basically part of the deal was, I think you could use the and the health spa stuff.

So like you use a gym, you could use the I was gonna say washing machine, but a swimming pool, I get muddled up between them too. Which is weird, for some reason. So trying to think what else they had there.

I think it was a bit of weird weather. So you know, they had a tennis court and that kind of crap. So I thought it was going to be like saunas and facials.

And she said that wasn't part of the plan. And, and we did. There was a massage.

Where we both had massages, like from professional messes. And she was in one room, I was in another room. And it's weird, because we both went in at the same time.

She came out about 45 minutes after me. So I can only assume that she started talking. And I wasn't angry.

I was just like, wow. Whatever that bloke gets paid, he don't get paid enough. And he joking.

See, I think he might have made a mistake and asking if she's got any illnesses. Okay, here we go. That's a seven hour conversation.

No, no, I'm joking. Anyway, I made the mistake. I made the mistake of it was just a joke.

It was just a joke. Okay, I'm waiting outside. She comes out.

I said, Oh, did you get a happy ending as well? And she said, I'm very happy. Thanks. The thing is, she didn't know what I meant.

And I forgot all about it. I forgot all about it. And we're having dinner in this restaurant.

And she said, Oh, that reminds me. I need you to check something. And she gets a phone out.

She only goes and Google's happy ending to find out what it means. Didn't talk to me for two solid days. If I'd known that's all it would take.

I'd have said it months ago. We boom boom. Oh, dear.

It was weird actually. That reminds me is there's certain things in Thailand that are different. Some of the phrases the the lady in who is that spoke to so friendly.

Oh, well, it's funny. It's not she is lovely, really, really. English.

Perfect. She sounds American. It's weird, though, because when she was talking to me, she sounded American.

And her English was perfect. But when she spoke to some of the other customers, accent changed. And she said she's never left, never left.

Thailand. She's lived there her whole life. But she she said some as a reason why English is so good.

I can't remember what she said. Yeah, I can't remember the reason. And I think the problem was there was a burger in front of me.

And no woman, no matter how beautiful can even match the passion I have for fast food. So you know, once the burger was there, I'd stop list she could have stripped in front of me. And I wouldn't have even noticed because I was eating my burger.

I had a can of Coke and a burger to my favorite things. And some fries, chips, but fries. And and then, honestly, she could have just been doing anything.

It could have been an orgy on the other side of the bar. Because I wouldn't notice that because I was eating a burger, drinking a can of Coke. And on the other side of the bar, there was a big screen showing boxing in three of my favorite things all at the same time.

I wouldn't have noticed a nuclear war. Honestly, I was like, I'm my element here. Everything I need is right here right now.

But she was lovely. And she wrote down three words. It's weird, three three sentences for me to learn.

Because I had a bit of a problem earlier on in the day, or yesterday, actually, when I got here. And I, she, what does she do? She's the first in there, she asked me what my name was, and she wrote it down on a napkin. And then she wrote her own name, she introduced herself, and wrote that on a napkin and put it down in front of me.

So I've never, I've never had that happen before. And anyone, if you if anyone's thinking, oh, she's like, no, whatever you're thinking, if it's bad, it's not nothing bad to say about. She's absolutely lovely.

Really, just really friendly. And because of the way she is, there's nothing I can give her that she can't get elsewhere. So it's, you know, there's no like some people say, oh, you're in Thailand.

You could just, you know, she's, she wants to marry No, trust me, she doesn't want to marry me. She doesn't want I got nothing to offer her. She's she wouldn't look she honestly, she could get I mean, there's lots of rich people in Thailand, she could easily get herself a rich person easily if she wanted to.

She could, she might be married, she might have kids. I don't know. I'm not going to keep talking about her anyway.

But she's yes, very, very nice. I might go in there again. You got this bull like this bronkin, not bull bronkin bull, bunker bunker bunker bunker, bunk bronkin bunker or something bull thing.

Anyway, so I so I've got those because I said to her I said, Look, I need to learn some words, man. I need to learn some sentences. Because what happened last night caused me a few problems, potential problems.

Because when I got here, so quite late. I think I might lay down for a little while I had to have a shower, because I must have stunk. I can't smell myself.

So I'm oblivious to it. I get get a few signals sometimes, you know, when people just run away from me. But I never know if that's because I stink or because they're worried I might talk to them.

I'm not sure. Why are you always putting yourself down? I'm not I'm just joking. So I I went for a walk.

It was yes, very busy, very, very busy. And I didn't really I guess this was probably about 11 o'clock. It must have been because yeah, because everything, but it was still busy in where I was.

But the restaurants were closed. There I think they've got licenses, they can't open beyond a time. Some of the some of the some of the some of the some of the some of the restaurants is restaurants is restaurants.

And I ended up I wanted to go to the beach, I can see the sea from my veranda. The outside bit of the hotel, you know, is a veranda. Veranda, that's the right word, isn't it? The thing they can sit in outside of outside of the hotel, it's a big room, man.

It's bigger than my room at home. It is a lot bigger than my room at home. In fact, I mean, yeah, I've got to put two rooms and a kitchen and whatever at home, my bedroom and living room.

But you know what? Add a kitchen and this would be a nice little studio apartment. So the bathroom is fine. It's got a shower and stuff.

But yeah, we'd need to have I suppose because the storage area where there's like for like coats and hanging stuff up that you need to have that don't you? So if that was in this room, did it make the room smaller? So the room would have to be bigger to fit a kitchen in. But it'd be a nice, like quite a spacious little studio apartment. I'd have been very happy living in a place like this.

Few years back. Yeah, it's nice. Anyway.

Why am I talking about the room? I suppose that's something you've you like can describe the room to us, will you? We want to hear about the room. So I was up here and I thought, oh, yeah, I've had a shower. I hadn't eaten.

That's the one thing I do. I want to travel. And I do this when I travel on buses or coaches or trains, if it's a long distance.

I eat very minimally. And I drink very minimally. Enough, but I don't like drink lots.

Because I don't have to use a toilet on the actual train or the coach or the plane. So on this journey, I used it, the lavatories at the stations, if I needed to, you know, the airports rather. But I didn't go during the journey.

So I went six hours, seven hours or whatever. To be fair, nearly eight hours, if you include getting on and getting off and stuff and waiting around. That's quite a long time actually, isn't it? And that includes eating a meal on both the planes and drinking throughout the whole time, like just your little drink and that, just to keep me dehydrated.

I didn't go to the toilet not once. Like the journey here that the journey to Dubai, I was lucky because there was no one sitting next to me at all. So I had three seats to myself.

So I just spread my stuff out. The journey from Dubai to Thailand, there was this lady sitting next to me. But there was three seats.

I was at the window. Her seat was a middle seat. And the next seat next to her was empty.

Yet she didn't move to that seat. She's just continued sitting next to me, elbowing me every now and then. Usually when I just fall asleep.

Thanks. And that was a bit annoying because, you know, having someone that close to you, a stranger, that's six or seven hours without being able to fart. Now the first journey when there was no one around, only people in front of me, I could fart that one off.

And you just the engine of the planes too loud, they can't hear the fart. They can smell it. I mean, the whole plane can smell it because the air conditioning like going around.

Imagine God feel sorry for the pilot. But no one knew it from me. No one knew that I was the one that dealt it.

But when the person sitting next to you gets to smell it first. Yeah. I mean, like she didn't say anything, but we both knew.

We both knew. And I went to talk to talk to her I think three times and each time like, just looked at me blankly. And then when the plane stopped and it landed in Thailand.

She said bye. I really like. I mean, I think she was excited to get away to get away from me.

She's so happy to be able to get out from the seat. I don't know why she didn't move to another seat. There's plenty of empty seats on the plane.

I don't know why she didn't move to the one next to her. But she's honestly, I mean, I don't know if she was just happy to be back in Thailand. But she was the most excited person on that plane.

And someone two rows up further up just won the lottery. And this this lady next to me was more excited than them. So those farts must have been rotten.

I can't smell them. I can't smell them. Sometimes I get a little whiff, but they're nice.

It's like, for me, I feel like home. You know, it's a piece of home for me. It's like being back in my flat and I let one off.

Weigh in. You know, sometimes it only takes a couple of seconds. Sometimes it takes, you know, 10, 15 seconds.

And then you get it. It's like, oh, it's a double joy because there's the joy of the it's just it's a treble joy. Because it's all your senses.

And it's like the hearing senses, but the physical sensation of fine is nice. Feels nice. The release, you know, they're like, oh, the gas is out.

That's nice. The build up's no more there anymore. It was worth the build up worth the weight.

It's like a movie, you know, like you've been waiting to see Batman or the Batman and or, you know, it's a movie you're waiting for for the new, the new season of your favorite show and and you get to see it and it's like it was worth the weight. I know it's been a long while, but oh, this is so good. That's what farting is like for me.

Or marrying your loved one, someone that you've, you know, you've been planning the wedding for maybe a year and maybe two years, three years because you weren't able to get married for the last two years because of circumstances or whatever. And now you're finally able to get wed to the love of your life. That's what farting is like for me.

See, just give you an example. It's like, why do you keep talking about farting? Now, you know, it's a spiritual experience. So you've got the physical sensation.

You've got the spiritual experience of it. Then there's the sound. The sound brings me joy.

Now, I know I'm not the only one. I don't mean the sound of my farts. I'm just talking, you know, there are human beings out there that actually can understand the sheer pleasure of hearing a really juicy fart.

It's, you know, it's something special. And then you've got the smell. Oh, am I eight years old? Oh my god.

I'm sorry. This is really ridiculous. And then you've got the smell.

So you've got the olfactory sensations like, sometimes a bit of a taste. That's not always so good. But you know, definitely got the smell.

Now you can have the image in your mind. Of course, you can't see it. You can have the image of your mind of, you know, the flaps, like, opening, closing, and like a gush of air coming out.

And you can like almost imagine it's green. And it's just, you know, like a skunk and it's just squirting. It's like there's an image in your head, the imagery.

And then there's the well, the feeling of well-being that comes up, you know, it's the feeling of satisfaction. Almost, I never really understood, you know, never really thought, what would it be like to be a surgeon or to be a paramedic, knowing that you're saving people's lives every single day? And I thought, no, I do know what that feels like. Having a good fart gives me that sense of well-being, like an accomplishment, almost like I've been put on this earth for a reason.

I have a purpose. This has been one of the weirdest recordings, but hey, it can't be anything but weird. That's the only option there is.

Weirdness is the only thing we've got going at the moment. So, here we go. Oh, yeah, I know what's next.

Oh, another sign. I'll say that quickly. You haven't even told us about the first sign yet.

Okay, the first sign I saw in this health place, this health shop, whatever, like reflexology, aromatherapy, facials. I misunderstood that one, but it's fine. They didn't seem to mind.

And there's this thing saying, Leather foot. Treatment for leather foot. Leather foot.

Sometimes, some of the signs are aimed at Westerners, and they're very specific, like descriptive. So basically, if you've got really crappy, thick skin, that's what they'd like. Skin that feels like leather.

We can help with that. I can't imagine it's called leather foot. I think it's like an actual real term.

Maybe it is a real term. Correct me if I'm wrong. I won't listen.

I won't make any changes. I refuse to learn new things. So there.

I will not be corrected. I'm sticking to my beliefs. No new knowledge needed here.

Thank you very much. Today, I was at this place. So it made me tickle a little bit.

Leather foot. I don't know why. I just found it funny.

And I was at this place today, and it was like four o'clock, and it was really hot. Too hot, actually. I was sweating really badly.

I didn't realize how bad it was, because I got home, and the t-shirt I was wearing was completely... I looked like it was as bad as what it used to be when I used to go boxing, when I was training in boxing, back in 2009 or something. And I would completely get drenched. Like I was soaking wet.

But I did lose weight. So maybe I've lost a bit of weight, which would be kind of a bad thing. Impossible to put any weight on, I think.

Anyway, anyway. So I'm walking down that way. Because I'm looking to get money exchanged into Barts from UK currency.

I was looking to get an iPhone charger. And I was looking to get a SIM card. All three of those things I got eventually, but not walking down that way.

And luckily, I managed to... I got help with... Yeah, the lady, and also laundry, I got help with that. The lady on the reception could speak English today. So sometimes there's a man down there tonight, or was, and he couldn't really speak much English.

The man last night, really good English, so it's really hit and miss. But the lady on the reception today helped me out with so much stuff. Wrote down a little map, where to go to get my money exchanged, where to go to pay, maybe get a SIM card, and the other stuff.

So everything was sorted. I got lost a little bit, to be honest. I asked directions.

It was so cool. I realized that I've been making mistakes. I've been asking Thai people for directions.

I don't know, it seemed to ask someone that lives here, you know, just that's my logic. And it just seems, I don't know, respectful. That just seems like the right thing to do, ask someone that lives there, where is, can you show me the way to the nearest brothel, wherever I'm going.

And she, but this time I thought, oh, I'm going to ask someone that looks like a tourist. And I did, I found someone who's an American man. And he said, hey, how you doing? I said, oh, yeah.

It was so lovely. And he said, yeah, just go, go down there. It's not good.

But he's really funny. I had a really short conversation because I think he wanted to talk to me. No one ever wants to talk to me.

I think I actually think I'm really interesting. I know, like, oh, well, you've got a podcast called Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Irony, my friend, irony.

I know I'm interesting, but no one else believes it. Just like I know I'm, I know I'm slim and good looking. Do you know, I'm the only Western man, I'm the only middle aged, fat, white, Western man to come to this part of Thailand and not be called handsome.

Honestly, I've not been called handsome man once. Now, you might think, oh, no, that's out of order. You can't say that.

No. Just ask anyone. If you find a middle aged man that you know that's been to Thailand, this part is like a tourist section.

And ask them, did you get called handsome man? I'd hear handsome man. At least twice. The first time I hear it is the person in front of me and the second time is the person behind me.

Never me. Never me. Why? That's not fair.

I think maybe in my life I've relied too much on personality. I think, I know it might seem weird. I don't mean this in a, well, we've all got to have something going for us.

I think in the past, I don't think many women have actually met me and thought, oh, I've got to have him. They've not looked at me and thought, oh. It's only been women that have got to know me and enjoyed me as a person.

I don't think anyone has ever looked like, oh, I've got to have him. I need him to have more babies. I don't think that's ever happened.

That's weird. Well, it's not weird because I can see myself in the mirror. The thing is, I wasn't that bad looking when I was younger.

I wasn't that good looking, but I wasn't that bad looking. I've always been at least a three. I say that with pride.

It's weird, isn't it? I'm at least a three. Oh, yeah. At least a three.

Oh, that's depressing. We've got to stop saying it. At least a three.

No, I can't stop saying it. At least a three. At least a three.

So, I'm walking down a different section. This is the part from last night where I heard that animal sound. I didn't go any further.

Well, four o'clock this morning. Five o'clock this morning. But today, very busy.

I walked up there because I thought that's where the shopping center was because I need to get some clothes. Well, no clothes shops. But there's a marina, like a boating marina.

Loads and loads of boats for hire. People renting them, people renting them with a skipper or a driver of the boat, family. It's very, very, very, very busy.

Not just foreigners, but Thai people as well. And today was a festival, so I think maybe it was a holiday for a lot of people. It's not a national holiday.

Buddha Day, so I'm guessing people come if they've got a day off. It's a holiday. I'm repeating that, but yeah.

Although it's a Sunday, so I thought Sunday would be a holiday for people anyway, but I'm not really sure how it works. A lot of people, their families, children, adults, all kind of queuing up to get on these boats. Lots of signage, signs for boat hires.

There was one sign that really caught my eye. A boat hiring company, or a man, and the sign said, Mr. Wrong, W-R-O-N-G. Now, where I come from, that's someone you wouldn't even lend money to.

You wouldn't get in their boat. You wouldn't pay them to use a boat. That's Mr. Wrong.

That's a nickname, isn't it? That's a nickname for someone that you avoid. I wonder if they realize that, because it's probably their name. I don't know, but you realize that some people might not get on your boat because it's called Mr. Wrong, and they think it's, you know, they connect that with maybe not the most positive, but I might be wrong.

I'm not that wrong, but that's him, or her, or him. Actually, you can't even be sure here. I don't know.

Not me anyway. It's not me. That's just wrong.

That's not me. What else? Oh, yeah. The handsome man was a thing that I heard today.

Not to me, but to others. Last night, I was walking down the prom for, you know, 12, 1 o'clock, something like that, 12 o'clock, and a lot of females were walking, standing around, saying hello to me, like every, like, and they kept just, I didn't know any, I just literally got here a couple of hours before.

No, I don't know any language, none of the words, none of the greetings, and I thought after walking past so many of them, I knew what hello meant, hello, in their language, and because everyone was saying it to me, so I figured now I know what hello is, and so when I got back, you know, the thing I kept hearing, I got back into the town, and I was looking at the signs either side of where the hotel are, so I can try and make sure I don't get lost, so I can kind of memorize it.

Policeman asked me, are you okay? You know, he said, hello, and to me, whatever, because he was going to ask me if I was okay, hello, and I said, boom, boom. He said, hello. I said, boom, boom.

So I was saying hello to him. That's what everyone was saying to me. Previously, I mean, I've just been saying boom, boom to everyone.

As I was walking back to the hotel, boom, boom. Boom, boom. Just, I was saying hello.

I do that when I'm at home. I say, hi, hi, hi. You know, when I'm walking down the park, walking around the field, or walking to the shop to see a neighbor, even if I don't know him, I just say hello.

Just a nice thing to do, so I just thought, it's not something that I'd normally do in the past. I'd just ignore everyone, but, you know, I tried to make an effort, and when I had Andre, you know, I kind of used to speak to the other dog walker, well, the dog walkers. He wasn't a dog, obviously, but, you know, I still say hello to them, and so I'm walking back.

There was people, like the person selling, I think, kebabs, and they're like, do you want a kebab? And I'm like, no, boom, boom. Got a funny look, and just, someone wanted me to, wanted to lend me a motorbike. Do you want to rent a, hire a motorbike? I didn't understand what he was saying, but it was a big sign.

I said, boom, boom. So, you know, when I said it to the policeman, boom, boom, he didn't seem very happy. He shouted over to his colleagues, said a lot of surrounded.

So, I thought, well, clearly said, done something wrong here, a faux pas of some kind. So, I thought, I'll make amends, make up for it, so they like me. So, I looked at each one of them, said boom, boom to each of them, and, yeah, it wasn't great.

It's been restrained by the police. Asking for help, thinking, you know, someone out there must be able to help me to explain this. I'm just doing nothing wrong.

Like, to the men walked past, boom, boom. Women, boom, boom. Children, not even children, boom, boom.

Nothing. No one was helping me. And the dog, like, boom, boom.

They looked at me very weird when I did that one. The dog just ran. That's weird.

Actually, one dog did stick around. But, you know, most of them ran. It's all that one, isn't it? Just to see what's going to happen.

How's this going to turn out? Well, as it happens, it's all worked out in the end. All worked out in the end. Googled, boom, boom, realized it wasn't hello in any language.

Just turns out that in Thailand, Basil Brush has clearly had a huge influence over a certain part of the country. A certain group of people. Where they all enjoyed the catchphrase, boom, boom.

They don't do the, boom, boom. Let's go, boom, boom. So, I thought it's a Basil Brush greeting, but it's nice.

Didn't think anything of it. But, you know, Basil Brush had a big influence on my life, as he probably did on yours. Those of you that know who Basil Brush is.

That was Basil Brush. He was a very big character in my childhood. Oh, I'll do it again.

But yeah, anyway. So, that was a learning situation. And so, the lady in Hooters gave me, she wrote down three sentences for me to, and she did it in a way that I could actually understand how to say it.

So, that was cool. I forget what the word is for that. Hemogliphics.

You know the word, it's gone out of my head for some reason. How come the big words and the interesting words go out of your head, but all the nonsense stays, is a good question. I don't know.

Don't know. So, so, so, so, so. Oh, man.

I fell down, the first fall I took was in London. I fell down some stairs because I was looking at the signs to see which way to go. I fell down four stairs.

I managed to stay on my feet, which was amazing, but that would have been a bit of a weird ending to a holiday. You know, if I'd sprained my foot really badly, I wouldn't be able to go on holiday. I wouldn't have come away with that.

And I'd broken my foot before, sprained my foot in the past where I couldn't walk properly for a few weeks or a couple of weeks and sort of really bad muscle damage and stuff. So yeah, I'm definitely, I would have had to turn back. As it is, I think I've broken my toe because again, the land, not a land of smiles, a land of steps.

Here in this room, there's a step in the bathroom to open the door from, yeah, you open the door and there's a step and I smashed my foot on the step there. And then as I got out of bed last night to go for a walk, I smashed it against the chair that was next to the bed that I put next to the bed by the way. It was the other side of the room.

So I smashed the same foot twice. And although I had a foot massage, probably not a good idea with a broken toe, but the foot massage seemed to be okay. So probably isn't broken, but it's just hurt.

It hurts a bit. I think I had broken toes before, so I'm pretty sure if it is broken, it's like a minute fragment or cracked or something because it's not enough to stop my walking, but it does hurt. Um, well, if it's broken, you'll be able to walk.

Well, yeah, I mean, you're right. If it was broke, broke like all the way through it, but it's not, obviously it's not, but it could be like a little bit fractured or because they're very small bones and they, you know, there's a good chance that most of us have had broken toes or fractured toes or splintered toes in the past without even knowing it. You know, if everyone got their feetie little feeties, uh, x-rayed, you'd see everyone's toes.

You'd probably see the odd chip or break and stuff in them. It's just the way it is. Like as kids, we're all, you know, just, just get on with it.

Don't you? It's like, you know, it's only like a proper bad, a break that you can't do anything like if you play football. I remember someone was it, um, famous footballer had to, I can't remember. It's a, it's an English footballer, very famous, like huge football star.

And he had to pull out of, I think it was either the European cup or the world cup because he broke his toe and he got so much hassle, so much hate directed towards him. Now, if he was a goalkeeper, he was cause he wasn't, he wasn't in the goal. I know goalkeeper was a football as well, but he was a striker.

If a goalkeeper had a broken wrist or a broken finger, would you expect him to still be in the goal? Of course you wouldn't, would you? They're like, no, obviously not. Asking a, how's he going to be able to stop a goal if he's in pain with his hand? And, you know, no, we need him. We need him for other games.

We want him to heal so he can cause a brilliant goalkeeper. But that wasn't an awful, no one seemed to think that about this footballer. Oh, he's let the, he's let the side down.

He's let the country down just cause he's got a little brookie, little toey where we broken toes, painful man. You can't play football, you can't kick a ball when you've got a broken toe. That's ridiculous.

You wouldn't, like anyone else, it's like, you know, just so silly. Or a darts player. What are you talking about? You got a broken arm, you can still play darts.

I don't know why I done that accent. It's like, no, you can't. Not if it's your hand that you play darts with, but it's not even that.

You might be left-handed, break your right arm, but you might use your right arm for balance. I know it's a weird, you might have a certain posture that you use when you do the darts. Now, if you've got your right arm attached to your chest because it's in a sling, or it's weighted down by a cast, your balance might be off.

I don't know why I know so much about darts right now. I know nothing about, I don't know, I know nothing about darts. I know very, very little, very, very little about lots.

I know very, very little about a lot of things. I know a lot about nothing. Oh, don't put yourself down.

I'm sure you know a lot about some things other than farting, I don't know. So, the journey here was weird, very, very weird. What's the, I think the strangest thing, what I noticed when I got, when I went for a walk, because I got here, I think the heat was like, oh, blimey.

A little bit of, not a shock as I knew it was going to be hot, but physically like, wow. Whoa, it was a little bit, you know that feeling where you're in the laundrette and you open the dryer after your clothes have been in there for about an hour, or 40 minutes or whatever, and you open a dryer and you get that heat come, it's a bit like that, I guess, just an example. Except there's no clothes to pull out because you're outside and there's no tumble dryer.

I'm just saying it's like that feeling of air, kind of. And that was a bit strange, especially as the, on the helicopter, not the helicopter, the plane, the air was being like pumped in constantly, every three minutes a new bunch of air was coming in, and it was cool, quite cold in there, on the airplane. So there was no preparation, really, no preparation for the heat.

And it was a really nice day in London as well, beautiful day, warm, warm day. So I guess, what's that noise? I think I might have left the tap running. No, there's a fridge, I'll just put you on pause for a second there.

I've got a fridge in there as well, it's full of water and drinks and stuff. No alcohol, because I don't really drink alcohol, that's why. To be fair, I see how people could get drunk and, well, I've noticed that when I drink, it's more for thirst rather than for taste.

So even when I've been drinking Coke, I've been drinking lots of water as well, which is something that I do normally anyway, but a bit more than normal. But sometimes I drink the Coke like it's water because I'm thirsty. Now when I'm at home, I don't drink Coke because I'm thirsty, I drink because I quite like the taste and a little bit of a buzz, a little bit of a sugar, caffeine buzz.

But when I drink water, it's because I'm thirsty or because I just regularly drink water. Now here, I'm drinking more water than normal because it's needed. So I'm definitely keeping myself hydrated, which is something that thankfully I do anyway, so that's good.

Now if I was drinking a beer, a lager, I would be almost dehydrating myself by rehydrating myself. So I'd kind of be drinking liquid, but at the same time dehydrating because of the alcohol. This would have the opposite effect to what I would want, not as in getting drunk, I mean to have obviously have that effect.

But it's I'm not ruling out having a drink. I might have a drink tomorrow, but it'll be like one or two. I'm not I can't drink much anyway.

I just I'm a lightweight. I've always been a lightweight really with alcohol. I've had two periods in my life, no three periods.

Mind you one did last about 15 years. Okay, that's not a good example. Okay, going out I mean going out.

There was a time when I drink eight cans of Stella in an evening when I was this, but you know I stopped doing that in 2003. And then since 2003, I've not drunk Stella regularly. I just changed to like a much a much like fosters much lighter kind of alcohol percentage.

And I never really drunk more than six cans in an evening. Instead of eight cans of Stella, and then I got it down to about four cans. And then eventually I just don't drink at all.

So when I do drink, you don't drink at all. But you do drink actually two sentences that contradicted each other. I know, but when I do drink, it's a pint, two pints.

That's it. I don't have the tolerance anymore. But yeah, all the way through adulthood, really, I didn't really drink, couldn't really drink much.

I used to maybe want to go to the toilet. It's strange and I'll be out in a nightclub in a comedy club usually. And I'll have a pint of lager and straight away or two pints and that's it.

And I want to go to the toilet continuously. And I had to get home. So you know, it's not good.

Didn't have that problem at home when I was drinking because the toilet was there. So I wasn't sitting on the toilet drinking, but I'm saying it was, I guess I didn't notice because firstly, I was drunk. So I probably didn't really notice how many times I was going to the toilet.

Plus it was there. So it didn't matter. But I don't do that anymore.

I don't, I don't drink alcohol at all, really, hardly ever. And I can't really, I've got no craving for it. And yeah, really, really pretty much minus, minus percentage craving for that particular thing.

But it's all right. I'm not bothered. But I suppose it'd be nice to go and have a drink.

I might have like one pint or something tomorrow. Some might say, why don't you try spirits? No. I think that was my saving grace because if I'd have been on whiskey or vodka for that period of time when I was drinking regularly at home, I might have some problems by now.

Luckily, it was, I mean, for most of the time, it was weak lager. So it was easy to stop doing. It wasn't really, I don't know.

It was more of a, an emotional crutch than a physical need, I think. Or I don't know. To be honest, not long after Andre, I got Andre, I stopped drinking.

So maybe he gave, he fulfilled something that the alcohol was giving me. I don't know. I only just thought about that because I was drinking when I first got him.

And then I just stopped shortly afterwards. So I haven't really drunk alcohol regularly for about over six years. Weird.

Weird. Why is that? Strange. Very strange.

So what other things? Oh, yeah, the traffic. Oh, man. Traffic is ridiculous.

They don't have rules. They do have rules, but they don't follow the rules. They, whoever they are.

And I don't know all their names. I can't see, you know, there's a lot of motorbikes around. I mean, thousands and thousands and thousands.

The motorbikes outnumber the cars by a huge amount in certain parts. And they don't seem to look where they're going. They don't seem to, there's no rules that anyone seems to be following.

It's to just turn left, turn right, go ahead. And I don't know how they do it. I don't know how, how they do it.

I don't know how people drive in this place. Not knowing what's going to happen next. I don't know.

It's chaos. I've nearly been hit more than twice. I mean, luckily, there are a lot of them got really good reflexes, or whatever reflexes, responses, whatever, because I guess they used to it.

So, you know, they're able to swerve and stop and stuff because they used to pedestrians, proper pedestrians crossing the road. How dare they? There's no pavements on most of the roads. People are walking on the road, the side of the road.

It's very, very strange. It's strange for me. And today, again, I was looking to get my SIM card.

I got a 15 day SIM card. And I got my money changed, or some of the money changed. And they wanted my passport for both of those things.

And I said, Nah, I ain't got a passport on me. I said, if I bring a passport on me and I lose it, I can't travel without a passport, can't even travel in Europe. And without proof, you know, can't.

I mean, all we needed passports for years, but you know, being a European citizen, but which we're not anymore. In England, so but definitely not entirely, you know, you can't, can't travel, they won't let me out of the country without a passport. And they might kick me out of the country, I suppose.

But to where? I'm trying to avoid coughing and suddenly I coughed. Oh, excuse me. But I didn't have my passport.

So I just said, Sorry, I ain't got it. So the change people the money changes, they changed it and said, bring it in next time you come in. Okay.

But what they said, it's okay to get a photocopy. So okay, so I'm gonna have to figure that out. The SIM card.

Again, we can't do it without proof of your passport. It's weird, like they won't sell some places, they won't do stuff for foreigners without proof of who they are. Can you imagine if that happened in England? Wow.

Wow. So what I'm saying is, wow, there would be a riot. Honestly, if you came to England, and they kept saying, Yeah, I need to see your passport.

Wow. That would not happen. But it's different here.

It's their rules are cool. So I'm I'm cool with people countries having rules. I try to abide by them.

And the lady in the shop is a 711. The one that did that she actually bought the ticket that the SIM card for me on her own card, paid with her own money. And then I gave her the money for the SIM card.

Just to help me out. That was lovely, wasn't it? And so they're very helpful, very, most of the people I've met have been really, really nice, really helpful. Yeah, it's been cool.

So I'm trying to think of what I was gonna say. So that was nice. Yeah.

Well, we're talking about rules and traffic. I'm heading back. So I've got what I needed.

I've got a SIM card, I've got the iPhone charger, and I've got the other thing that I needed, which I can't remember what it was now. SIM card. Oh, yeah, the money changed.

I've got those three things done, which was my target for today. And the laundrette. So I've sorted that out as well.

So I only came with two sets of clothes, which is on reflection, not the best idea I ever had. But I haven't had many good ideas. So you know, kind of get used to it.

It's better to have a bad idea than to have no ideas. That's how I see it. It's better to have lots of bad ideas.

Maybe it's not. Anyway, anyway, what happened next is this. I'm standing at a zebra crossing.

It's a big old zebra crossing. Like you could see the thing from space. It's huge.

But at the same time, the road had about eight lanes. It's not a motorway, just a road. Yeah.

Maybe six lanes, a lot of lanes on the right hand side, all coming from the right direction, the right hand side. So I didn't need to. No, that's wrong.

No, I'm lying. Now half of the lanes is six lanes, half of them on the right side. And the other half were people coming around.

So I'm waiting, I'm waiting for it to go to green. That's really sophisticated system. Imagine got a countdown from 10 down to one to let people know when it's about to change for the drivers.

Aimed at the drivers really not aimed at the pedestrian. Not a lot of interest in pedestrians. Hmm.

Okay. So I'm waiting at this traffic lights with a zebra crossing. Now being from, you know, where I'm from, generally when it goes to green and it has a little, you know, it's a little movement, walking movement image as well.

It's like flashes as a person walking. It sounds weird, but you know, I wait about 10 minutes for it to eventually to go green. So I go to cross the road.

Motorbike nearly hits me. And then a car or a truck nearly hits me. Like I get out of the way.

I shout out, realize the police like, Oh, I like better shut up. Like even the police are not following the rules of the road. Now I know technically they could be on the way to emergency.

So it's up to them what they do. And I'm not going to argue with them. But in the end, I just walked out.

I said, and I just stopped, put my hand out, stop the traffic. I stood in front of a motorbike and I said, look, it's green. Can you not see it's green? It was, I think it was a foreigner like me as well.

I said, look, what are you doing? And another car stopped. I just like, I put my hand out. I shouldn't have done it.

Really. I just put my hand out. I'm walking.

See, I didn't walk fast either. I walked slowly, like stop the traffic. Um, cause I needed to get across.

It was on green. It was the time for me to walk. And then I ran the past the last half bit because in case, cause there was other cars coming the other way as well.

Honestly, like it didn't mean anything. The green meant nothing. The red means nothing.

When it's on red, people just go, Hey, look, if it's free, if it's not, if there's does happen in England, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but they're just, they're classed as really, really, really, really bad people that do that. But really bad drivers really, you know, they're breaking the law, but it's not just that it's dangerous. More important, it's dangerous than they're breaking the law.

You know, this it's not that they're bad or that they in their own mind, they're not breaking the law. They're just doing what everyone else does. It's not bad.

They're not like being horrible or just saying, Oh, stuff, the rules, stuff, the rules, stuff, the law. They're just all doing it. The police are doing it.

Everyone's doing the same thing. They're just ignoring the traffic lights and just looking for themselves, whether or not it's safe to go through and focusing on the traffic, not the pedestrians. It's weird, honestly.

And I'm really trying to navigate that side of things, but it's, it's difficult. It's fun in some ways, but you know, I've got an advantage because I've been a pedestrian my whole life. So I'm used to having to be careful and watch out for cars, but the vigilance here that I have to be in is way more than I've ever had to deal with before.

Going back home, crossing a busy road will be, honestly, it'll be, it'll be like, I don't know, something really easy. Just think of something really easy. It'd be like that.

Unless of course that thing's not easy for me. Something easy for you might not be easy for me, right? Let's not go down that little pigeon hole, eh? Another thing, there's two things I'm really not particularly pleased about. I mean, one potentially, well, I don't want to talk about that, but this one thing I'm not particularly pleased about is this.

The lift. Elevator, lift, whatever. So I have to get it ready to get up and down.

Not I have to, I could walk up and down the stairs, but in that heat, it's just, nah. No one told me about my bald patch at the back of my head. No one mentions it.

No one ever says anything. Oh, you're getting bald. Oh, you're really, that bald patch is really, really, it's big.

It's really noticeable. Now I'm around people that generally are not backward and coming forward, if you know, they're usually up front. No one, now I knew there's a bit of a, I knew that I was a little bit bald at the back, a little bit, you know, a little bit, a tiny, tiny little bit.

But it's big. I've got a big, big balding patch on the back of my head. And I have to look at it every single day.

In that elevator and that lift every single day. And it's like, we don't have to, I can't help it. I can't help but look at it.

I mean, I think about it, you know, if you've got, let's say, I'm trying to think of a good example. If your plumber comes around, or, you know, someone's fixing, fixing the water pipes or whatever, you know, in the road outside where you live. And it's maybe 15 men, 10 men, women or whatever doing the job, because everyone's equal in this scenario.

Everyone does the same thing. And one of them has his pecker out. It's just dangling there while he's working.

You don't want to look. Maybe you do want to look, but you know, you can't help but look, you gotta look. It's like, what are you doing? You can't not look.

And that's, so my bald patch is very much like a road worker's dongle. Ding dong. No, it doesn't look like a penis's.

But it's, I can't not see it. It's just once it's, once you know, you know, don't you? Once you know, you know. I mean, if a dolphin did a big poo underneath your bed, you might not know it.

Dolphin poos doesn't smell bad, I don't think, I'm not sure. But once someone told you, did you know there's a dolphin poo underneath your bed? It's like, oh, don't care, can't smell. No, you might say that.

But at the very least, you can all have a little look, a little peek. Because, you know, I don't know, what does dolphin poo even look like? Hmm. So yeah, that's where I'm coming from on that.

Hope that helped. Seeing my bald patch, not good. We're not like, what are you moaning about? You shave your head at least three, four times a year sometimes.

Bald, you're bald. Walking around bald. Why are you worried about a bald patch when you actually purposely make yourself bald? Here's the reason.

When you're bald, bald patches don't really show up. Not really that noticeable. More noticeable when you got hair everywhere else.

That's where I am on that one. Thank you very much for understanding. So that is everything.

You're all up to date. Hope you enjoyed it. So yeah, I'm just gonna have a little thing, something to eat.

I've got a nice dessert in the fridge. I might have that. And I'm gonna go bye-bye.

Go to bed. I'm gonna go bed, bed. And I'm gonna listen to the radio.

Oh, yes. Listen to the radio. Oh, oh yeah.

I do radio, the radio. Hopefully to drown out the sound of the air conditioning which although very very appreciated very loud. I don't know if you can how loud it is on the recording but it's going on and off all the time.

Right now it's just gone down gone quiet but it's gonna start again probably in a few minutes. Tomorrow's plan is well not really sure yet I was planning to have a haircut and exciting isn't it I don't know we'll have to wait and see but that's it for me thank you for listening and remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye bye bye bye