#819 Let me bore you to sleep - I THINK ITS SPRING - Jason Newland (11th APRIL 2022)

Hello, and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. That was very musical, so musical, my talents never end, or never start, depending on which way you look at it.

My website is jasonnewland.com where you will find thousands of recordings that you can stream for free, and you can download for free, everything's free, bidi bidi bidi. So hey, it's 1457 on Monday the 11th of April 2022, I've got the windows open so it's a nice day. Actually, I went for a walk earlier, and I put my boots on, like, not my wellington boots, these are, I forget what they're called, but they're nice boots, they're probably the best footwear that I have, but unfortunately, they need breaking in, so, I've had them for blimey, might even be a year now I've had them, and I've worn them probably three times.

And they're just, they're not very comfortable, they're not, because they need breaking in, they need proper kind of wear and tear inside, so that I don't get blisters, and I went for a walk today, I was going to walk all the way to town, which would take about two and a half hours probably.

And on the way there, I started to feel a bit of a pinch on the heel, or the back of my right foot, that, you know, that familiar feeling of, if ignored, could become a blister, which I didn't really want, not a lover of blisters, I'm not sure there's many people that look forward to blisters, get excited about the prospect, but if it's avoidable, then there's not, there's not a point doing it really, it's just so, and as I touch with my other foot, the back of my right foot now, it's very, quite tender, it's not blistered, but it's tender, so I'm not going to be able to wear those boots again for a while.

Anyway, I abandoned my initial walk all the way into town, but what I did instead is, I cut off and I went through the field, and a big long way around the field, so I was walking for an hour anyway, so that's good, because I'm trying to, trying to get out more, trying to exercise, and I know that walking isn't super duper cardiovascular exercise, I realise that, but it's got to be better than just sitting down all day.

Oh, I see a bit of gas there, lovely, that's, that's nice, lovely sound, so what I'm trying to do is increase my physical activity, but I'm, I'm taking it gently, kind of, like yesterday, this wasn't so gentle, yesterday I set my alarm for every hour, and every hour I did some weights, I just did one exercise with weights, until I couldn't do it anymore, so I didn't do three sets of ten or anything like that, I just lifted and did it until it was burning, so I had to stop, and I alternated, I did different

exercises each time, that's a little bit over the top in a way, I mean, and I don't know, I went for a long walk yesterday, and I've been doing it every day, I've been trying to, although I wasn't out for probably more than about 40 minutes yesterday, so it's just trying to build it up, I do have gym membership, and it's just the going out bit, it's the going to the gym, that I kind of, puts me off a little bit, being around other people, plus I've got a cold, I've got to come along with

a cold, I've been sneezing a bit, sniffly, and come to blow my nose and stuff like that, I don't want to do that in public, and just, first of all, I don't want to give anyone else a cold, it's just rude isn't it, spreading, if you, you know, if you got, it's just rude, besides it could be, could be something other than a cold, so, I'm just not gonna spread those germs, so, but that's, that's, that doesn't, there's no, doesn't excuse, well not excuse, doesn't give me an excuse, as to why I've not been to

the gym for two weeks, or three weeks, whatever it's been, because I didn't have a cold last week, or the week before, or next week, just feels like one of those kind of summer colds, you know, although it's not summer yet, it might be, it might be, the constant change of temperature, you know, one day it's warm, next day it's cold, warm during the day, cold at night, it's just constantly changing at the moment, which is a standard March, April period, it's nothing new, but it's, I think in March it happens, but it's, it's just

so much nicer in April, like when it is nice, it's much nicer, and then it turns really cold again, March, we're kind of used to it being cold, because it's still pretty much winter, coming into spring, now we're, we've got officially, this has got to be spring now, the middle of April, I don't know when summer starts, was it May, June, I don't know, I don't know what the official, I don't know what the official line is for that particular law, I don't know, so yeah, it's weird, this thing's been weird, like last night, I

woke up, and I felt weird, I felt in my head, just, just felt strange, and I thought I might have to call an ambulance, and I went into a kind of panic, so I had like a full-blown panic attack, and I didn't know, I didn't know, it's weird, I just panic, I don't get them very often, I used to get them like all the time in the past, which is part of the reason why I ended up doing, these, making podcasts, and trying to help people with reducing stress and anxiety, and stuff like that, it's

possibly to do with a bipolar, or whatever, just going on, you know, it's almost, it's never gone away, like it's gone away, I go, I go months and months without anything, and then recently, oh, I'm tired, this isn't very therapeutic, is it, for other people to listen to, so, excuse me, you know, wait a minute, this is my help, oh, oh, oh my goodness, that, how did that dead, dead animal get inside my anus, oh, that's awful, oh, I'm glad the windows are open, no, that's a fake noise, I did that with my hand underneath

my armpit, that's good, wasn't it, sounded realistic, it's very realistic, anyway, I thought we needed some light relief, wasn't, light relief for me, not so much for me underpants, so, I can imagine being reborn as a pair of underpants, oh, oh, like the back, sort of front, I mean, either way, it's just gross, isn't it, I'd be born as toilet paper, oh, anyway, I ended up splashing cold water on my face, this is three o'clock this morning, three o'clock, and I was just all over the place, I was, it was, yeah, I'm not going to

go into descriptions of it, because that's not necessary, but it was, it was very unpleasant, and I ended up going out, I've got, I've got a bit of an issue about, because I live alone, there's no one to help me, like, immediately, there's no, and I know it's the same for millions and millions of people, and that never bothered me before, I didn't ever cared about that, and besides, although I lived alone, I quite often, I was sharing, I was in a room sharing a house, so there was kind of always someone around, if you

know what I mean, like next door, inches away, actually, in fact, you know, in the next room, here it's a little bit different, because although I do have neighbours, and I've got one particular neighbour, who will always answer the door, whatever time of the day, or night, I knock, he'll be pissed off, but he will answer, providing it's, you know, I'm not going to knock on his door at three in the morning, to see if he wants to have a cup of tea, you know, it'd have to be important, and once he realised it was

important, when he opened the door, he would help me, I know, and he has, actually, I have done that, at least once in the past, and anytime I tell him about these experiences, that I have occasionally, he always says, well, why didn't you knock on my door, he always says that, and I say, I don't want to disturb you, man, but he's done the same, so we help each other out in that way, so at least I know, I do have that, but I just didn't know, I didn't know what to do, so I took

my phone, and I went out, I didn't wear a coat or anything, it wasn't cold, three o'clock in the morning, it wasn't cold outside, it was cool, but it weren't cold, and I took a bottle of water, and I was just walking, slowly, outside, it was pitch black outside, and I think at three o'clock, it's starting to get a little bit lighter, so it wasn't like, the darkest, I think it started to, you know, be in this time of year, it's getting lighter and lighter, earlier and earlier, so I'm just walking around, and the weird

thing about it is, I didn't care about safety, because you know, walking around at three o'clock in the morning, in the dark, it's not the safest thing to do, I mean, it's just not, you wouldn't, you wouldn't recommend someone to do that, would you, generally, it's like, well, you know, stay indoors, you don't go out on your own at three o'clock in the morning, that's just a bit of a weird, it's just a weird time to be wandering the streets, and, but I didn't care, so I wasn't, didn't have any of that, like, I didn't

care who was around, I wasn't looking around to make sure, just out of natural, you know, that time of night, or any time I like to look around, make sure where things are, where people are, just generally, out of interest, you know, but no, I just, I didn't care, I was just gonna walk, I was gonna go into the park, which was completely, no lights at all, the lights from the school, which is nearby, turned on automatically as I walked past, and I was just, there's some paramedics, or ex-paramedics live just at the end of

my road, and they helped my friend three years ago when he was attacked, and they saved his life, and so I know they're there, and I've always got that in my mind, you know, in a, an extreme emergency, because if it's an emergency, even though it's putting them out, and it's not nice for them to have to answer the door and help someone, I'll do it in an emergency, if, if I'm really, you know, if I feel I can't wait for an ambulance, and I didn't know if to call an ambulance, but I didn't call

an ambulance anyway, and, and I'm okay, so I'm clearly making this recording.

Well, as I'm walking back towards the, where I live, I'm just trying to, walked up to the, all the way around, around the block, and then come back, I hear someone getting into a car, so I thought, I'll walk back, I don't know, it might look weird, me just walking down there at that time in the morning, so I don't want to freak people out, so I just like walk back, and as I was walking, I can see from the distance that a big, I didn't know what it was to start with, I thought it was a delivery van, like a supermarket delivery van, you know, those big things, and I thought, well, no, they're not gonna be delivering at 3.

30 in the morning, or whatever time it was, and I realized it was an ambulance, parking outside my home, not where I live, yeah, we know what home means Jason, now what I mean is the block, it's, it was parked outside there, so suddenly I'm worried, like, oh my god, is it my friend, is he okay, and as I get closer, I can see his lights on in his, in his room, in his flat, doesn't mean he's, he might be asleep, but his lights on in there, so I'm thinking, oh, has he called an ambulance,

or someone with him called, it's like, is he okay, oh no, so I stopped thinking about myself, and, and I'm about to cross the road, and another vehicle comes down, it's a milk float, I didn't even know they existed anymore, a milkman, or woman, it was a man, so, yeah, I think we call him milkman, but he was driving his milk float, if you're not, if you don't know what a milk float is, you know what milk is, don't you, most people know that, in the traditional thing in this country, in sort of where I

live, traditional, I mean, going back, since I was a kid, and before that, a milkman, or woman, would deliver milk, that basically, you'd leave your empty bottles on the doorstep, and the milkman, I'm just going to say man, milkman, just for the sake of it, okay, I'm just, I'm not being sexist, and the, the milkman would deliver, they'd deliver, and just take the empty bottles away, and leave the fresh milk bowls, and if you wanted more, or if you wanted less, or if you was going on holiday for two weeks, or whatever, you left a

little note, and you'd, you'd roll it up, and you'd stick it in the top of one of the empty bottles, and it'd stick out, yeah, it's cute, isn't it, so, or you put it underneath, I guess, if it's windy, you put it underneath the bowl, just so the milkman could see the note, and once a week, he'd knock on your door, and he'd collect the money, I think he'd say, we'll divvy up, what Mrs Newland, we'll divvy up today, it's Friday, we'll divvy up, something like that, and they have a little book, and it like,

always comes to 22 pence for the week, because it's a long time ago, and that was six bottles of milk a day, 22 pence for that month, right Mrs Newland, so it'd be like, I don't know, 10 pound, and you give him, or eight pound, and so she'd give him 10 pound, he'd open his wallet, he'd put the 10 pound in, or let's say it was five pound, or 15 pound, okay, let's just roll it up, so it's 15 pound, she gives him a 20 pound, or two tens, he puts it in his wallet, and

then he flips his wallet around, like a magical wallet, and the money disappears, and then he pulls out a fiver, it's like, what, it's like this magical wallet, I don't know, I've never seen anything since like that, so it's a magical wallet, and the money disappeared, like most wallets really, money does disappear, put money in a wallet, it just disappears, doesn't it, like a bank account, so yeah, I saw this milkman, milk float, so the milk float, basically, it's like a, like the crates of milk, I don't know if you've seen, like in the old

days, they still do have bottles now, and I think things are going back to where they used to be, because bottles were replaced with cartons, and then cartons, which were kind of cardboard resin-y kind of stuff, and then the cartons seem to be replaced with plastic bottles, and now, because of the dolphins, I think we're going back to glass bottles again, I think, so it's kind of turned away all the way around, so we're kind of going back to the way it used to be, now I haven't seen a bottle of milk in a bottle,

like a glass bottle, for many, many years, maybe 20 years, and I didn't, it was too dark to see what was on the back of the milk float, and I wasn't looking, if I'm honest, I was just surprised to see it, but my focus was drawn between myself and how I was feeling, and the ambulance parked outside my building, but how it used to be is, they used to have these crates, and they'd have dents in them where the bottled milk could go, so they'd fit in, and they'd be very secure, and the crates could

stack on top of each other, they were built for that, so they could stack, and very well designed, I don't know, one, two, three, four, six, twelve, eighteen, twenty, I feel like 24 bottles would be in a crate, I might have it wrong, it might be three, six, nine, twelve, four, eight, I don't know, it was a square thing, so I imagine four, eight, maybe 16 bottles, and they started selling orange juice as well, and I say started, because I think originally, originally, going back probably war times, or after the war, I'm pretty sure that

the milkman used to sell bread, butter, I'm sure my name told me that, used to sell bread, butter, milk, juice, maybe even potatoes, I don't know, but stuff like that, so it wasn't just milk, unless I made that up, I might have made it up, I'm pretty, pretty sure, butter, milk, bread, maybe cheese, I don't know why, I'm just, maybe cheese, maybe, maybe, maybe, anyway, so it went past, it goes very slow, these milk floats are very, very slow, probably don't do more than about 10 miles an hour, and you can hear them, like it

sounds like this, it's a quite, fairly quiet, but it depends upon the milkman, because I mean, actually no, there was a milkman when I lived, when I was going to university back in, between 2007 and 2010, I lived in this place, and a milkman would go every day, and early hours, like 5 o'clock or something, I think he'd be, and he'd be whistling, I mean, I don't have any words, I had a few words back then that I wanted to say to him, but I never did, every day, woken up by him whistling, loudly, so

yeah, I think he's one of those people, and I've met a few people like that, where I'm awake, everyone should be awake, yeah, but you're not awake at a normal time, are you dear, listen darling, you're awake at, you know, you're probably getting out of bed at 2 o'clock in the morning to go to work, that's not a normal time, my sweetheart, please, consider your own health here, and stop whistling, but he didn't, he continued, and then you'd hear him clittering and clattering the milk bottles, and I'm sure he must have picked, every time he

picked a bottle up, he had to pick another one up and bang them together, and put one down and go and deliver it, it's what it sounded like, and then the gates, if there was, it would make the most noise, opening the gates, I remember the next door, and I could always, always hear a gate, next door, like clashing every time, like, but I never went that way, I always went the other way, and then one day I went that way, there was no gate there, there was no gate, so I waited, so the next

morning, I thought I'd just hid in a bush and watched him, he actually carried his own gate around, so he could like bash it, and open it, for those of you, when there was no gates, when there was just an entrance, you could just walk in, he'd actually pull out his own gate, that he had strapped to his back, I couldn't believe it, it sounds like a lie, doesn't it, always whistling, I've seen people whistle on a bus, like literally just sit on a bus, with maybe 20 other people on that bus, all keeping themselves

to themselves, and this bloke, it's always a man, always a man, and there's always an elderly, usually an elderly man, it's usually elderly, 60s, 70s, 80s, I don't know, just start whistling, how unaware do you have to be of your surroundings, but then I was in London last weekend, I was coming back from Trafalgar Square to Liverpool Street on the bus, and there was a woman, there was this noise, all it was was noise, and very loud, and this woman was speaking in a language, I don't know what language it was, and she was talking

on the phone, she was doing like a live stream conversation thing, I don't know, FaceTime, is it FaceTime, yeah, with someone who was also speaking a different language, not probably the same language as her, because they seem to understand each other, but the volume of the phone was super loud, and she was also super loud, and I could hear it at the back of the bus, and I was like, and it went on, I didn't care that much because I was getting off, and I was too focused on getting off the bus, and it wasn't

a long journey, it was about 15, 17 minutes, and then she got off a couple of stops before me, and she's decided to wait, get up and wait at the door for about two minutes before I stop, and I was just like, she was shouting down, and she didn't have the phone near her, she had it in front of her, arm's length, and the other person on the other phone was like yelling, well I really don't think they even needed phones, I think they probably could have communicated, just stuck her head out the window or

something, and I wonder how, what kind of mentality you have to have to be able to do that, to be so oblivious to your surroundings, to do that, that's, is that obliviousness, is that inconsideration, or is that just a sense of safety, or a sense of entitlement, a sense of feeling you're more important than other people, I don't know, I find it very interesting, and she wasn't young, I mean she wasn't old, probably in her 30s or something, I suppose, and the only issue, like for me, it being in a foreign language, is I can't

listen, if I have to listen to her, I want to be able to at least understand what's being said, you know, it's kind of, make it a little bit interesting, it might be a really interesting conversation, I want to be able to hear it, so that I can talk about it, you know, if I've got two people sitting behind me, talking loudly for an hour on a train, I'd rather hear what's being said, provided they're not talking about me, but at least it's, it can be entertaining, because some people, they talk, especially if they're arguing,

sometimes it's really funny to listen to, always educational, like okay, well that's not how to talk to someone, I could say, that's why they're not getting on, because they're completely not connecting, and you can see, it's an anthropological expedition sometimes, but to not be able to understand what they're saying, that's a bit frustrating, because I got, it's just noise, otherwise, as it would be for someone who can't speak English, listening to two English people, just talking really loudly, it's just noise, isn't it, I want to hear, I want to hear what's being said, it might

be an exciting, sometimes it's hilarious, what people talk about, you know, sometimes I hear people on the bus and trains and stuff, and I start laughing, because they're saying something, it's just really funny, it's like, you know, it's especially young people, some young people come out with some proper good one-liners, as do older people, just make sure I'm not prejudiced against old people, you know, some people are, I don't mean like, I mean obviously society is generally quite prejudiced against older people, and it seems there's that middle group, it's that we, I think, I would

say that there's a degree of reverence towards elderly people, you know, we might ignore, they might get ignored, but they don't realise they are being looked out for, so if you see an elderly person make it on the bus, but people are watching to make sure she's okay, if any harm came to her, they wouldn't allow it, but they don't realise that, I don't think, they feel, oh I'm just invisible, no, I'm being ignored, and you know, most, I think most old people will get a seat, you know, there's, but there's some young people, they've

just got an attitude, and I had an attitude when I was young, I hated conforming, and it wasn't because I didn't care about elderly people, or about anyone, it's just, there's that attitude, and they're supposed to have an attitude, it's just normal for teenagers, late teenagers, even early 20s, to have that kind of, well their brains are not developed, I mean, you know, scientifically their brains are not developed fully, I don't think we're ever fully developed, but they're, you know, they're kind of going that in, in between being adults, and being children, they're kind of

constantly kind of going in between that, and it's not their fault, so you know, I try not to get into that mode of getting angry at young people for not letting an old person on a bus, on their seat and stuff, I let other people get into that conflict, and I just watch and laugh, no I don't, I do watch, I hide at the back of the bus, with my bag next to me, taking up three seats, I think being inconsiderate, it's not, it's not inconsiderate if no one knows you're doing it, so I think

elderly people don't realize that they are being watched out for, no one would walk past an elderly person that had taken a fall, that had fallen over, or that needed help, I mean, you know, sometimes you do have to ask for help if you need it, don't assume other people know that you need help, I mean, everyone's so busy doing their own thing, but I feel that's something that with society, and I don't know if it's everywhere in the world, but I imagine it is pretty much everywhere, if someone needs help, they get help, if

they're, someone falls over, people come to help, and the only reason hundreds of people aren't all standing around one person that's fallen over, is because people know that it doesn't need hundreds of people, only needs a couple of people to help, you know, you don't need 30 or 40 people to stand around an old person, or a young person that's fallen over, doesn't, it's not needed, if anything, it makes it harder, I think, for the person that's fallen over, because they don't want to be the center of attention in that way, I've no doubt, that's

why I still remember when I, as old lady fell over, and I was walking up, and she was lying in the street, and her husband had a walking stick, and he was standing there, I think, I think the shop outside gave him a chair to sit in, an ambulance had been called, so just wait for an ambulance, but it was taking quite a while, because it was peak time, it was like half four in the afternoon, so it was, luckily the weather wasn't too bad, it was a bit cold, but it wasn't, you know, the

shop, it was a fabric shop, sold furniture, so luckily they gave her a pillow for under her head, gave her a blanket to put over her, so she was lying in the street, he was standing there, she was in the road, or it was like a pavement, a road bit, it's sort of a weird kind of, it led to a place where you could park, so people walked on it, plus people drove on it, and every now and then people would stop, but they could see that she was being, they were being looked after, so

there wasn't a big crowd around or anything, I stopped, just said, hello, you're all right, and I could see that she was, it wasn't so much that she was in pain, she was in pain, I think she probably broke a hip or something, she had a, she'd hurt herself, she couldn't get up, but that didn't seem to be the main issue, it seemed to be, I think, the anxiety of being in that situation, with people walking past and stuff, so I laid down on the road with her, I think it was road pavement, you know,

but anyway, I laid down next to her, and she started laughing, I don't know what her husband made of it, and I think he was laughing as well, and I just, so I started talking to her, and calming her down a little bit, I said, look, it's all right, people are going to be looking at me now, aren't they, and the ambulance turned up, and I got up, and I left her alone, I went, just went on and did what I was going to do, but there was, I don't know why I did that, it's

a very strange thing to do, I've never done it since, never done it before, weird, I don't know what, what possessed me to just lay down next to her, but we were having a whale of a time, laughing, she wasn't focused, I did a little bit of hypnosis, but kind of quite subliminal sort of stuff, I basically distracted her by making her laugh really, and her anxiety and tension just seemed to just disappear, or at least it reduced, and then the ambulance got there, and she was looked after, hopefully all was well, I've got no

idea, I just, I suppose my point, I don't know what my point is, I'm just going randomly, I think people are safer than they think they are, I can understand the invisible part, I feel a bit invisible these days, but then I kind of felt that when I hit 30, because I've met women in the past, that once they found out I was 30, or I've seen them do this with friends as well, once they hear the 30 or 31, they lose interest, 29 is fine, 30, ooh, 28 is better, but 30, ooh, 31, ooh,

I've actually seen a woman, literally, a bloke who was out with drinking, and a group of us, and two women were chatting him up, like trying to get his attention, like they were almost fighting over him, but not physically, but trying to sort of get his attention, and he was like, oh, and then he kept coming back, and he wasn't, I think he was gay, actually, I'm pretty sure he was gay, that's it, I think he was gay, and he was with his boyfriend, but his boyfriend was sitting down drinking, and it kept coming up,

and he like, he didn't want to be rude, he's like, oh, that's all right, I'm gonna go over there now, and then one of them asked him how old he was, and he said, oh, 31, they just literally looked at each other, turned their back on him, and walked away, now the ironic thing is, later on, I don't know how, but they found out he was gay, and maybe someone else knew someone that knew him, or whatever, they were all over him again, oh, weird, very strange, so at 30, I felt, oh, didn't like it

at 30, 40, I can't remember so much, and each time I reached the next decade, I realized that the decade before wasn't so bad, as far as age wise, now 30 is young, compared to what I am now, like 50, you know, something, so I, 30's young, like, it was never old, why did I feel older, 30, why, but I didn't feel old, but it's just other people were treating me like I was old, but 30's not old, 30's young, it's not old, it's really not old, you know, I noticed certain things, I suppose, biologically

change, maybe, depending on the circumstances, from when you were 20, maybe physically, maybe, yeah, I had maybe a little bit less hair when I was 30 than I did when I was 20, I definitely did when I was 20, I had a lot of hair, and I think I might have even, no, I don't think I had any grey hairs at that point, I might, no, I'm pretty sure I didn't, I'm not sure, I think, with the greyness with me, it's very gradual, very gradual, and I'm noticing a bit more, because I shaved my head

again, and now it's growing back, and it's a bit more, as it's growing, I'm kind of noticing it a bit more, because there's a big fluff of hair right at the front, on the left side of me, I think, on the front, and there's definitely some grey hairs at the side, and my beard, the dribble area, as I like to call it, you know when you're eating, drinking, it dribbles down, that area, the sides of the beard, that's the chin area, that's grey, like proper grey, and I'm not going to tell you about my pubes,

what are you asking about my pubes for, that's rude, that's rude, so, how old is it, it's 50 old, I don't know, it's older, and I don't sound 50, but you're not 50, you're nearly 52 you little bastard, shush, shush, shush, I'm 50, I'm 42, I find it funny, I find it funny when people won't say their age, I find it funny when women won't say their age, but I find it even more funny when a man won't, I find that, for some reason, I find it hilarious when a man won't reveal his true age,

I find that devious, it's devious, and anyone that comes out with, never ask a woman her age, I said no, let's not go back in time, and if we want to go back to those rules, then there's a lot of other rules we should start following then, and we don't want to go back to those days, let's have a look, you know, equality now, my dear, sweet art, okay, I'm all into equality, sweet art, equality is it, I don't ever found it to be a secret, why age would be a secret, it's no more than

wanting to know the colour of someone's hair, but you don't ask because, well, I was going to say you can see, but you can't always know, can you, what the colour of someone's hair is, but once they're 40 or 50, then you kind of know what their original colour, or what their colour would be now, but I just, or the colour of their eyes, that's an example, so you wouldn't, you'd like to know what the colour of someone's eyes are, and if they were wearing shades, dark shades all the time, I'm thinking Roy Orbison, and

you meet someone, you wouldn't be able to see their eyes, at some point, wouldn't you, or you're going to even say, what colour are your eyes, just because it's a nice thing to know, isn't it, and Roy Orbison wasn't blind, he just wore those as a, he had a kind of, it's like an image thing, as far as I'm aware, no, he had issues with his eyes, no, it's an image thing, oh, should I check it, should I, should I, nope, I'm not going to bother, I've already checked it in the past, I think he

did have something wrong with his eyes, and he had the glasses, and then he liked them, and he decided to keep wearing them, after his eyes healed, that's my understanding, there's a rapper, oh, what's his name, I forget his name, but he wears a plaster on his cheek, like a band-aid, on his cheek, is it not Neo, but anyways, he's got a name, he's got a name, and the reason he wears that is because he was making a video, I think, for his first single, and he had a huge pimple, so he wore the band-aid

over the pimple, and ever since then, he's just worn it as an image, that's part of his image now, and he's worn it, imagine if he had a broken arm, have to spend the next 30 years in a cast, that'd be weird, wouldn't it, so what was my point, I don't know, I don't know what the point was of that, it was, it came from somewhere, and then it ended nowhere, or it came from nowhere, and it ended nowhere, or it just came, it just came, and it went, it went, yeah, people's ages, we ask

people's age, because we can't see it, if you can see it, you wouldn't ask for it, you don't have to ask someone their height, unless, you know, if you can't see the person, then yeah, you can ask them, how tall are you, what kind of eyes have you got, what are your measurements, I don't know, whatever you ask about someone, I wouldn't know, how would I know, wow, that's big, I don't know, so it's just, you can ask, what kind of hair have you got, are you as fat as you sound, I don't know, someone

might ask me, I don't know, are you as fat as you sound, that's rude, how dare you ask me that, I'm actually fatter, I'm much fatter than I sound, I'm much older, I'm much fatter, I probably smell around the same, I probably smell about how I sound, that's about the sort of, how weird, what a weird thing to say, you sound kind of smelly, semi-smelly though, not like really bad, like you need a wash, but not like flies just constantly following you around, oh thanks, that's nice, compliments, so yeah, I saw someone in a place

that I was shopping yesterday, or Saturday, Sunday, oh man, every now and then I see someone that just, it's really rare, but there's this female, she's young, I don't know how young, legal, but I don't know what age group, because to be fair, everyone looks young to me nowadays, everyone, people just, that's another thing, people just look younger, it's weird, I don't know quite how that happens, people just seem to be getting younger, everyone but me, even my friend, I got a friend and I saw him, I don't, I speak to him on, because he

lives in a different country, so I speak to him on FaceTime and I say to him, look, I don't want to look at you, I don't want, you know, I don't want to look at someone when I'm talking to them, it's different if you're having, if it's a girlfriend and you're having, you want to see each other, but I don't want to see someone when I'm talking to them, I just, you know, generally, just, it's not my thing, I don't like FaceTime, I use it because it's free and it's quite handy, but I don't want

the camera on, I'll do it with just audio only, but on this occasion, because I hadn't seen him for ages and the camera came on and I couldn't believe that, I was so angry, practically not one grey hair, he was sitting down, he looks the same as what he did 20 years ago, dark hair, he doesn't even look that much older, honestly, he looks pretty much just the same and I said to him, because all I could see was pretty much from his shoulders up, I said to him, you better be fat, you better be

really, really fat now and unfit and he stood up and said, no, I'm not, if anything, I've lost weight, he's like a six-pack, he's like skinny, but he's just slim and I've never been so angry, honestly, I know technically I should be wishing him well and, you know, I'm so happy that he's healthy and happy and that, but I want him to be fatter, I want him to be fatter than me, is that weird?

I do, I want him to be fat, I want someone else to be fatter than me, just someone, someone, I don't have to be the fattest person, why have I got to be the fattest friend?

Anyway, so, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, my goodness, it's a lovely day out there today, it's really nice, just to be out the windows open, it's really pleasant and just to just chill out a bit, I've been for a walk and it's, because I've got quite a sedentary lifestyle, I'm trying to make up for it by getting some exercise, so then when I do sit down making recordings or reading a book or watching television, whatever, watching the Vikings, or is it just Vikings, Vikings, I'll be watching them back to back, I love Vikings, I'm

now at season four, I think, and it's just, can you hear the, the creak in the window, whenever the wind blows in, hear that noise, it's the, um, the neck curds causing that, it's weird, isn't it?

So, yeah, I try to, try to do a bit of exercise, you know, maybe I'll try and get to the gym today, but if I do, it's time to go now, really, I think it closes at seven and, you know, I'll be there for about an hour, if I go, yeah, and after yesterday, I feel quite, it feels quite nice, because I've kind of, I've exercised a lot of the muscle groups, but at the same time, not, I don't feel stiff and none of the, none of the muscles are aching or anything, so I haven't

overdone it, just kind of revisited, revisited those muscles and it's nice, it's nice to have a little bit of tensing and have the muscles sprouting out, they're not big muscles, by the way, it just, it just feels, feels better than the opposite, I think, see, I tense the muscles in my arms and I can feel, they're not like super bulgy or anything, it just, I can feel it, it's tensing, I tense the muscles in my stomach, it just looks up at me, like, what are you doing, what are you attempting to do right now, what

were you expecting, I mean, honestly, what, what, what did you expect me to do with this, what, show you what, a six pack, is that what you thought, really, I can tense my stomach, but it's still there, I think my stomach would be the right size if I had an 80 inch chest, I think I would, yeah, I'd probably look quite slim if I had an 80 inch chest, instead of, I don't know what chest I've got, I've got no idea, I wouldn't, wouldn't even guess, I don't know, I haven't got a tape measure, I

have got a tape measure, where is it, where's my tape measure, where's my tape measure, it's one of those ones that, you know, it's like the metal one, the metal strip, and you pull it out of the little box, and you let go, and it goes back into the box, I've got one of those tape measures, it's not like a proper, proper tape measure, that you can just wrap around, I mean, you can wrap it around, but it's not quite the same, I don't know what my chest would be, I don't know, I really don't

know, 25 inches, I don't know, my stomach's about 52 inches, it's not, I don't know why I say stuff like that, why would I say, why, why, why, why, why, I don't know why, that's why, it's there, there, I should, I tried to update my website, updated it last week, and it took ages, absolutely ages to do, because I was a month behind updating it, but I've got a few to update, to put on there, so maybe I'll try and do that today, before the end of the day, that's a nice sound, well that's it

really, well that, I do believe, is pretty much everything, everything, so I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, so thank you for listening, remember, remember to be kind to yourself, it's very important, remember to be kind to yourself, remember to be gentle with yourself, be kind, be gentle, be gentle, give it a go, if you've never done it before, just give it a go, it feels nice, you deserve to be happy, lots of love, bye.