#789 Let me bore you to sleep - I DIDNT DRINK IN 2004 - Jason Newland (12th JANUARY 2022)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name's Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep. And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Yeah, yeah. So hi, it's the 12th of January 2022 and I thought I'd make a recording. So thank you if you're listening on the podcast, listening on my website, watching on YouTube or watching a video on my website.

And yeah, thank you. Thanks ever so much. I love you.

So not a lot's really happened. Not really. I had a had a package come through today.

So it's a knock at the door. Answer the door. Ain't no one there.

But it's a package. OK. I think, well, I don't have any packages coming.

Generally, the packages I get are ones that I'm expecting. So I think. Oh.

And. And I look at the address on the box, you know. It's not for me.

This is someone that lives in a different road in my area. Same number of the house, but different different road, different person. Now, it's not the first time this has happened, but I'm thinking.

Why? Why? How? How? I mean, did a post office employ people that can't read? That's doubtful. So how does something. OK, different name.

That's fine. This, you know, it could be more than one person living here. There isn't.

It's just me. But, you know. From that perspective, they're never going to check the name.

Are they like they're not going to worry about that. But the address. Different road.

You know. So I phone the post office up. An hour wait to be heard or to speak to someone.

An hour. We are very busy at the moment. We do value your customer.

We do value you. But it's going to take about an hour before you're spoken to. Please hold.

No. Yeah, you're right. No, thanks.

No, thank you. I'm too old to waste an hour on such activities. So I'm thinking, oh, I'll just go around and just give them the package like I did before Christmas.

It's weird. They said something weird to me last time, though, because I took a package round to them and the lady said, oh, I've been waiting for this. She said, you live at.

She said my address. I said, yeah. She said, oh, yeah, we sometimes get packages for you.

Maybe next time I bring yours around. What did you do with them last time? Is a question I should have asked. So now that I brought yours around, you're going to bring my round.

Yeah. What have you been doing with them? Because I've had the occasional package go missing over the years. And there's a few thieves living around here.

Some kind of like did they steal it? Did they take it off my doorstep? Occasionally there's because I live in a communal building. Occasionally I've had packages left outside the main door, which is utter laziness on the part of the deliverer. Now, that doesn't happen very often, but it has happened something because sometimes a lot I'm not walking up the stairs.

I'm not doing my job that I'm paid for. No. So I mean, it's been a delivery driver.

It's got to be exhausting, especially with heavy, heavy packages, but all them stairs and stuff like that. And there wasn't a rush. Wasn't a rush.

And I guess they got targets to me and so many different packages to deliver. It's got to be, I'd say a young person's game. I mean, I don't think I could do that at my age in my twenties.

Yeah, easily. I was always running around and, you know, I couldn't drive, so I couldn't do it. But, you know, I'm just saying technically I could have been lifting heavy stuff because I was doing that anyway.

My jobs had a lot of physical jobs back then. And I was going to say, which brings me to my point, but I don't know what my point is. There's never a point really.

I'm just mentioning stuff, you know, that's happened to me today. I was going to put a notice on the door saying, whoever postal worker who can't actually read, can you please deliver this package to the correct address and just leave the package outside. But it's a bit rude, isn't it? I have to sort of get advice on that stuff.

I don't know. Is it rude? Whichever turd left. Maybe it's rude.

But if you could have a job with especially the post office, I'd have thought a prerequisite would be to be able to actively read, not just to be able to be able to read, but to be actively checking stuff as you deliver it to the address, especially as they run, they actually come around in vans specifically to deliver it. So I thought they'd just check. I mean, I used to check when I delivered newspapers, I used to check the address, I'd have a big list.

So I banged the microphone. And it's hard not to buy a microphone, you got 100 microphones sticking in your ear, like I have. I used to check the address.

I remember once I was drunk. I was about 14. And I was drunk delivering my newspapers and I got drunk in the afternoon because it was one of those.

I don't know if the school was closed for the afternoon due to industrial action or something like that. Or I can't remember. Anyway, I went around my friend's house.

And there was three of us, me and two of my friends. And we were around my friend's house. Because I would not have done this in my own house.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And lived to tell the tale. No.

That would have been the end of me. But he I wasn't intending to drink. We're just gonna go around there, smoke and just hang out really.

And suddenly he turns up and says, I think he just turned up a bottle of whiskey. Really? And then a bottle of vodka, then a bottle of Bacardi. And I don't know what else he had there rum or something.

And he just put them on the table and brought out some glasses, pint glasses. And it was a dare. So he's just pouring this stuff into a pint.

And so who would drink it? Yeah, I volunteered. And I just nicked it. Not a good idea.

And it was mainly whiskey. Now, I didn't realize the dangers. So any young people or anyone actually listened to this has never done that.

And you should give it a go. It's fun. No, you shouldn't do it because it's dangerous.

That amount of alcohol. I mean, it could have killed me, you know, being young and not really having a tolerance to alcohol. So that's way too much I could have been as it is, I was very ill.

So but I was young, I was acting very, very immature. But I was 14. And I was immature.

But I've never done it since. Even as an adult, I would never do that. I just, you know what? I wish I'd done it with lager as well.

Because it put me off spirits pretty much forever. I've never been a spirit drinker. I tried when I was, I don't know, 16, 17.

I used to drink alcohol at Christmas, only Christmas. I used to get a bottle of Bacardi or Malibu, one of them. I quite liked like the sweeter kind of alcohols.

And then just drinking it with Coke. Now I get drunk and I'd have some maybe eight cans of lager and that would be sort of over the Christmas period. And maybe I'd drink it with someone else and stuff.

But I could never get into the spirits, could never get into the spirit of drinking spirits ever, my whole life never been able to really do it. I can do I can drink Jack Daniels. But even then, you know, I just wasn't really for me.

I can't drink scotch or whiskey. Like, I just find it disgusting. Like really, because still, I can still almost taste it, even though it's about 17,000 years ago, I can still.

It's not a nice taste to me. I don't find whiskey to be a nice taste. Now, if I was to drink or have a little bit of maybe really, really good whiskey, you know, something that's maybe, you know, 500 years old, and it might taste nice, it might have a completely different taste.

But just the general stuff you get in bottles, you know, in supermarkets, it's just no, I'm just thinking I might be a connoisseur without realizing it. And that, you know, it's possible. But anyway, I mean, I will give it a go.

You know, when one day maybe, if I'm in like top restaurant, top class hotel, or whatever, I might try a rum or might try a bit of if it's a very, very old wine or something, I might give that a go. But wine's another thing. I got drunk on wine when I was about 13.

Yeah, about 13. Got drunk on red wine. And I was just glugging it back.

It was, I don't know where we were. I mean, I've been I was drunk a few times when I was a kid. But that was just, you know, when we went to weddings, what I would do is climb that climb under the table, put my hand and just get the drink and glug it down and put the glass back.

Or just leave the glass under the table. And I'll get absolutely off my head on alcohol. Now, I don't think I did it on this occasion, because there wasn't an event.

You can't just do a normal restaurant. You know, if you go to a restaurant, get under the table, because people notice it. If there's only six of you on the table or 10, whatever, people notice when little hands coming up.

And, you know, like, where's Jason? It's under the table. No, don't say anything. It's embarrassing, you know.

But I got very, very drunk on red wine. I remember the day after, but I don't remember the actual event when I was drinking at all. And I didn't drink red wine again for years.

I couldn't. I'll drink it now. I actually had a had a tiny little bit like that much red wine today with my friend.

And he had two bottles and I thought, okay, I'll have a little bit with him. There literally was a few drops. It was like a mouthful, really.

But I just sipped it just for an hour. And I think was it the thing I remember most really about that is the day or that morning, because I was really, really ill, like really, really, really ill. And the problem with being ill with red wine, as anyone will tell you, is it comes out red.

And it's unsettling. That's, that's an understatement, I would say, but it's unsettling to, to have red liquid squirting out of your mouth. It's just, you know, it looks like blood and it's like, oh, and yeah, I don't like it, didn't like it.

It's happened a few times since, but it's rare. I don't. Before I moved in here, I, I was drinking one bottle of wine, one bottle of red wine on a Saturday evening, instead of lagers.

Like it's too long. I actually have six cans of lagers. I should have one bottle of wine.

Sometimes it's nice to have a change. Now, I don't really drink alcohol at all anymore. But in those days, I used to drink very regular.

I think for, I think I've gone back to, to drink in probably three, four nights a week. So starting maybe Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. The idea is to drink just Saturday night, and then maybe on Friday, I guess, okay.

Friday night, Saturday night, and then, and then Sunday night, and then, oh, let's start the weekend of Thursday. And they can go all the way to like, oh, let's start the weekend Wednesday. Let's extend it to Monday.

And then you end up like, wow, what's the point? What's the point in having just one day off? Let's drink every day. I used to have a little bit of an issue with alcohol. So it was never really an addiction.

It was, I don't know how to explain it. Because I was never, I never had withdrawal symptoms. I never had issues not drinking.

If I didn't have the money, I didn't drink. And quite often, I wouldn't have the money. So I wasn't addicted.

But there was times when it was my favorite thing. And literally, I had nothing else. I mean, when I was working in insurance for the first time in 2001, September, I was drinking.

But basically, here's what happened. I stopped, I stopped smoking in December 1999. I was very ill, like nothing, not serious, but like I had the worst flu, whatever, like one of it just, oh, so I couldn't, I was struggling to breathe.

And so smoking wasn't even an option. And I took that opportunity because I was, I was ill for, I don't know, about a week or 10 days or something. And I just didn't smoke again after that.

But what I did is started to drink alcohol. So I'd buy four cans of lager on a, yeah, be a weekday. It'd be like, probably maybe, you know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or something like that.

So just what I'd like, maybe a Sunday night, let's for example. And I loved it. I'll be honest.

I got such a nice buzz. And it wasn't, I wasn't drunk. But it was such a nice buzz, just nice, like, I felt good.

That grew to the point where I was drinking every day, apart from the because I was busy the weekends. And then when I moved away from London, and I did got my, my insurance job, I was drinking every single night. Every night, and I was drinking Stella at this point.

Before that, I was drinking the light, weaker beers or weaker lagers. And I started drinking Stella. And over the years, it went from four cans to six cans to eight cans.

And I was drinking eight cans of Stella every night. I mean, the only time I had a break was when I was ill. And drinking eight cans of Stella every night meant that occasionally I was ill, but probably because of that, I had stomach problems.

And I just couldn't drink anything for maybe a few days. And as soon as I was well enough. Yeah, that's it start drinking again.

And I did this for so basically, I was drinking every day pretty much from 2000 through 2000, 2001, 2002, until November, 2002, when I got ill. And then I think I continued. So 2003 as well.

So 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003. Now I wasn't drinking as regular in 2003, as I had been, because I'd be always dealing with anxiety. But in 2003, New Year's Eve, or during that period between Christmas and New Year's, through so well with anxiety, that New Year's Eve, I decided that was it.

I wasn't drinking throughout the whole of 2004. And I stuck to it. Didn't drink at all, not one drop of alcohol for 2004.

Didn't smoke, didn't smoke anymore. So I didn't have that. I was trying to find a way to reduce the anxiety to get myself better, healthier, fitter, mentally, physically, whatever, both I guess.

And it was weird because I lost weight. So back then days, I was, although I was, I was, you know, I was overweight, I was probably too big, nothing compared to what I am now. So I was probably walking around at 13 stone, 13 half stone.

I'm at least two stone heavier than that now. So back then I was over, I was too big, which is weird. I kind of settled into my body, if that makes sense.

But back then in like 2001, 2002, exercise wise was practically non-existent. Now I did go to the gym for a little bit, I think in 2003, but didn't keep that up because I wasn't getting the results I wanted. I wanted to be slim and it didn't happen as quickly as I wanted it.

So I used to go to the gym before going to work. And now with my head that I've got now, the brain I have now, I would have gone to the gym not to lose weight, but to improve my mood. Because exercise is brilliant for improving you.

It's as good as, if not better than antidepressants, which doesn't mean to replace the antidepressants, but it can have a really good effect on your mood. On my mood, let's focus on myself. So on my mood it helps.

Now of course, you know, I say this and it's important to not, not that anyone should listen to me anyway, but it's not a replacement. And if you're going to stop doing medication or whatever, you need to speak to your doctor. So that's just what I'd add that, you know.

Jason said to exercise, I'm going to go rowing. I've got a rowing machine. I don't need antidepressants anymore.

No, I'm not saying that at all. You know, you have to be, you have to be very careful and sensible with stuff like that. So exercise, I didn't do enough of it.

So 2003, I was still flabby, I guess. I wasn't, I wasn't huge, but I was definitely, I wasn't fit. I really wasn't fit.

I remember walking up the stairs and being a little bit out of breath. I don't have that now, but that was back when I was 31, 32. You know, I don't get out of breath walking upstairs, but back then I was.

So it just shows you just, I guess it was less fit then than I am now in some ways. So I, 2003, I stopped, in 2004, stopped drinking and I exercised. I started doing Wing Chun Kung Fu and I felt I was doing some running and stuff.

I lost weight, got down to 11 and a half stone. I was skinny. I was slim, just my belly, just my stomach was skinny.

The rest of me, I had an okay body, you know, I was muscly and yeah, my body was okay. Might sound weird, but I was, I was muscular, but not, um, I didn't have, I guess my, my fat ratio really reduced a lot during that period. I was also vegetarian for most of the year, which meant that, you know, I'd eat something and it'd square out my bum about 10 minutes later.

So I didn't, I didn't, I didn't hold any kind of, I just didn't, the fat content just reduced and maybe that's worth doing that. But it's just, when I was a vegetarian, I was hungry. I just was hungry.

The food I was eating wasn't substantial. It didn't, it didn't fill me up, really didn't at all. I remember I had a salami sandwich.

I didn't realize it was meat. I didn't know. I didn't know salami was, was meat.

I don't know. It's hard to believe it's true. I was only 33.

What do you expect? I was only young. So yeah, 2004, no alcohol. And then I ended up, it was in the summer.

I decided no more sweets because I was a vegetarian. I was eating sweets and biscuits and cakes, but especially sweets, chocolate bars and stuff in order to fill myself up, to make myself like, feel full. Now I didn't put any weight on because exercising, I wasn't drinking.

So I was still slim, but I could feel my blood sugar levels like, ooh, like, I didn't feel very well. So I stopped being a vegetarian. I started eating meat and immediately I felt better.

I didn't feel weak. I didn't feel, um, I used to feel quite faint, quite, uh, not dizzy, but very kind of faint in my head a bit like, oh, but once I started eating meat again, I felt strong, like I had something that I needed. I've just, now I know people argue and say, well, you can get that from a vegetarian diet if you know what you're doing.

Might be the case. I really, my vegetarian diet was eating meals for one from the supermarket. So I was quite limited to vegetable lasagnas and cauliflower cheese and, uh, uh, Paul McCartney was wife's vegetable, uh, vegetarian food, like burgers and, um, veggie burgers and, uh, I don't know, things like the pies.

I liked, uh, Linda McCartney's pies. I did. I used to like them, but I didn't really like cooking for myself.

I prefer to put something in the microwave or in the oven and stuff. Just, just to do it without cooking as such with, you know, with raw materials, you know what I mean? Like making stuff, uh, never really been into that and stopping eating sugar or stopping eating, um, chocolate. I quite, I felt quite good.

I did improve stuff. Now this is stuff that I'd like to do now, or I think I need to do now due to, um, health issues. I need to maybe start looking at lifestyle changes, but I don't want to do them.

You know, does that make sense? I don't want to do it. I don't want to make lifestyle changes of those kinds and I need to. Before I kind of didn't need to, I did need to, but I didn't need to, you know, it was, it was more of a choice.

This, the choices kind of been taken out of my hands because of the high blood pressure. I've had heart, I've got high cholesterol or I did have last two years ago, I'm having blood tests tomorrow, uh, which will probably may show high cholesterol again. They wanted to put me on statins, is that whatever they call them, blood thinners.

And I said, no, because first of all, it wasn't serious. I'm not in a, I wasn't serious cholesterol. It was, um, alarm and alarm kind of, well, you know, you need to really address this.

Now I had high cholesterol back in 2007, 2008. Um, and I did, and I addressed it and I, I, I didn't do anything. I can't remember what I did, but it went down.

I'll just remember that I stopped drinking, but I didn't, did I? I started drinking again, by the way, after 2004. Yeah. I went to AA once, which is, um, our souls anonymous, alcohol anonymous.

I went to AA because I wasn't sure. Was I an alcoholic? I didn't know because I was drinking every day. I was drinking.

Oh, after, after 2004, when I came back to drinking, I stopped drinking strong lager. I only drunk, um, like fosters or something that was a lot weaker because Stella was just too strong. And to drink eight cans of Stella, you know, there's some people that, well, I can drink 30 cans.

I can drink 120 cans in an hour. You know, a lot of bull out there. And it's nothing clever about doing that either.

You know, it's like drinking a pint of whiskey. There's nothing clever about that. It's ridiculous.

Um, I had a friend who died, um, this year, I think it was earlier in the year and he was drinking, blimey, I don't know, 16 cans of lager a day, Stella. And he was, he was ill, like seriously ill. And he, he was, he was an alcoholic.

He couldn't stop. And so, you know, I've seen people that do do that. And it's, it's horrible to see because it's, it's almost, it almost becomes, it seemed as like it was oxygen to him.

Almost like he, you know, and I liked him. I liked him a lot, actually. Very, very different people, but he's, I only met him at the end of his life, at the end of his, the last few months, that's the last six months of his life.

And he, you know, he's, he's just, he's just really nice to me. But he had such a sense of humor about it, because he'd been, he'd been given his, uh, three months notice, as it were. And he laughed, he was laughing and he was showing his belly off and he had a big, his stomach was extended, or it's distended or whatever, whatever you call it.

And he just, but he was suffering, but he was he kind of put a real brave, um, face on it and used humor to help himself get through it. And I don't know how I would be if I'd be able to do that, because I'm, I'd say I'm a fairly humorous person, maybe not in this recording, but um, everybody's got a sense of humor, even those that seem like they don't. Everybody's got, they're just, everyone's just an individual, and then we've all got our own different things we find funny.

Um, so, you know, it's unfair to tell, to say, oh, that person doesn't have a sense of humor. Now what there's, what you're really saying is they don't find me funny. That's a different thing.

You know, everybody, I say everybody, okay, maybe there is, there are people that never laugh. I'm not sure. I'm sure there are people that go through periods, you know, someone's depressed, clinically depressed, although I've met plenty of people that are clinically depressed that do laugh.

They don't remember laughing. And as soon as they laugh, it's erased from their mind that they ever laughed. Because of clinical depression, everything's bad, everything's, nothing good ever happens.

I never laugh, and that's because they forget it. Now, when I had clients, they used to laugh, not all of them, but I used to, I used to get on quite well with the people that used to come and see me. Most of them, you know, it's occasional one that I didn't, but they wouldn't come back.

But pretty much everyone I've got on, there was a good rapport built between me and them. And they would laugh, even people, there was young, a young lad that used to come and see me, and he would laugh, like proper laugh his head off. And then he'd go back into it, he'd go back into that, that ditch that he kind of was used to being in.

And it was very difficult to know really what to do, because I only had six sessions with him. And he was a comedy fan, like myself, big fan of watching stand-up comedy, and watching, you know, just comedy TV shows, and just really big comedy buff. Like I said, like myself, I'm a big comedy fan.

And I guess I do like TV shows, and there's a lot I could probably say about TV shows. But I probably say, well, I don't know so much. Stand-up comedy, I'm a little bit in the past with that.

I'm not as up to date as, I guess I'd like to be with the stand-up comedy. Now, if I was living in London, not now, but because a lot of comedy clubs are probably still closed, or they're not got, I don't know, they might not be open. I suppose quite a few have closed down now, over the last couple of years.

It's only so, so long a business can go without earning any money, isn't it? I guess. I've actually heard there's some comedians, professional comedians, that had to get a job, like a delivery driver for Amazon or something, in order, because they didn't have any bookings, didn't have any live gigs. And you might say, how can that be possible? If you're a professional comedian, you'll be rich.

No. Most professional comedians, and we're talking, let's say 99%, maybe 95%, but let's say 99% for the sake of it. Not every professional comedian is going to be earning a lot of money anyway.

They might do enough gigs to pay the wages, to pay the bills, rather. So really, percentage-wise, I suppose, I reckon, maybe 20% of the comedians actually earn a living out of it, maybe 30%. I don't know.

A lot of them maybe only, they still work, they'll do a part-time comedy. They'll do gigs at the weekends, but they might never do it full-time. They may never want to do it full-time.

They might just enjoy doing it and get paid. It's a really good part-time job. You can earn a couple of hundred pounds a week doing something you enjoy, doing it.

But those that work full-time as a comedian, the percentage, I reckon, I'm guessing, this is only a guess, I'd say maybe 20%. Maybe it's 30%, maybe it's more, maybe it's 50%, maybe it's 70%. But I'd say probably, by my own experience, the amount of comedians that weren't making any money, I was one of them, really.

I didn't make much money, but I wasn't very good. Anyway, the point I'm making is, some comedians had to, because unless you're famous or like a big, big name, you're not going to earn huge, but you may not earn huge amounts of money. I want to say a big name.

I don't mean, so you've got fame and then you've got a big name as in, you and I may have never heard of them, but they're a face on the comedy circuit, like either worldwide or nationwide. So they might be one of the most popular comedians to be booked for gigs around the country. You might think, well, how can that be possible? How can someone that no one really knows about be popular to be booked? Okay, I'll give you an example.

I forget his name, but he seemed to have one foot in the alternative, one foot in like old style comedy, but he was brilliant. He might still be going, I don't know, I haven't seen, this is 20 years ago. He was doing, he was gigging, I think, he said he did 250 gigs that year.

So that's a heck of a lot of gigs. You think, what's that, 50 weeks? 51, 52, 50. That's five gigs a week, every week for a year.

And he wasn't famous. He never became famous, but he was earning really good. It must've been every gig, it began probably at least a hundred quid even back then for a gig.

So you think 500 pound a week, between 500 and a thousand pound a week, he was probably earning, because some gigs pay a lot more. So he was doing well, but those kinds of comedians, unless they put money together, aside and stuff, over the last two years, suddenly have no income, no gigs, no live audiences, no money. And it's just, it's just weird.

I mean, there's someone I used to be friends with and I said, he's a delivery driver or he has been a delivery driver. And there's nothing wrong with that. He'll probably get quite a bit of material out of that actually.

It could like give him a good kickstart to his career because it'll give him a fresh look on life. It'd give all of us a fresh look on life, wouldn't it? Being a delivery driver for Amazon, if we'd never done it before. It's the same as if you become a milkman or woman, or if you deliver post or if you work in a supermarket, it just opens your eyes to that, that way of being, that environment, that perspective that we can't really have unless we've done it.

I mean, I used to work in a supermarket and it had lots of jobs, but there's certain jobs that I don't know what it'd be like. I could read about it, but I still wouldn't really know, you know, I've never worked in a bank. I'm trying to think, I'm not, I can't list every place I've worked.

I've never been an astronaut, but unless you've done a job, I guess it's difficult to really comprehend. But there's crossovers, isn't there? Like, you know, there's lots of different types of call center work, but if you worked in a call center, you're going to have a, a kind of taste, an idea of what it's like to work in another call center that does something completely different, just because of the call center environment. But then I've got a call center environment of sales and then customer service.

So I've worked in both of those departments, the customer service department, I was working with them in their space, as it were, between them and the renewals and the sales were upstairs. But I was doing a different thing. I was doing compliance, listening to people's calls and marking them and that, making sure they were doing their job right.

I loved it. And I did, I liked that job. It was the only job I'd say I actually enjoyed doing.

One of the only jobs I ever enjoyed doing, because it was easy, but it did take concentration and I was good at it. I've got good concentration. I'm good at listening.

I don't always hear things because my hearing's a little bit shot these days, but I can hear and if I've got headphones on, I can hear fine. And I'm good at following what's being said, usually. It's not always easy.

I don't, I don't find it as easy these days as I used to, but I just got less patience. That's what I've noticed as I got older, less patience. And I know part of that, I'm pretty sure part of that is because I know that time's running out, you know, time, you know, if, if you had life, remember the old Wizard of Oz and the witch turns the glass over and it's got sand going down.

Well, it's over halfway empty now, you know, but realistically, unless I live to be 102. So it's like, okay, before when I was three quarters, when it was only a quarter or almost three quarters full, I'd only used up, let's say 25 years or 20 years. I didn't care.

I, you know, don't matter. I've only used up 20% or 22% or 23%, maybe 26% of my life. Don't care.

Look at all that time I got left. Look at it. Hey, look at it.

Look at all those little granules of sand. But now I look at those granules of sand and I think, oh, that's a month. That's a month just plopped down there.

So I just, I'm not sure why I'm thinking about that. How did I get onto that? I don't know. Ah, so what I'm thinking of doing, excuse me, I'm thinking of doing is getting myself, I've got an exercise bike in my bedroom.

I'm thinking of getting it, putting it into the living room or bringing it into here. This is my living room. This is my little recording desk, working, audio, video, computer, office space.

But this is just one corner of the room. I've got one, two desks and another table and two microphones, laptops, computers, iPads, all the equipment to make everything kind of fit together. I've got a camera over there that I've not used yet that I need to work out how to use.

And excuse me. But over there, over there to the left of me, I was thinking of getting the exercise bike and using it and I can watch telly at the same time. But I just can't be bothered.

It's terrible, isn't it? I just, there's a real, I remember I've got weights. I do use the weights every day generally. But that's more to do with my back than to do with health.

That's just so my back doesn't hurt or doesn't hurt as much. It got rid of doing the weights has completely made my upper back and middle back fairly fine because I was in agony a few months ago. Now my lower back, still, still kind of there, but I guess improved with the weights, with the weight training, squats and other things I do.

I don't know why I find squatting funny. The idea you squat, do you? We all have to squat sometimes. And other than that, there's my setup bench that I could use.

The thing is, I don't think anyone believes me. I can do easy to 50 setups and I can feel the muscles in my stomach. So I've got muscles there.

They're very well camouflaged. They're camouflaged in this material that is muscle, but it looks like flab. It looks like fat deposits, but it's not, it's muscle.

So I can do it and I can feel like it, it's very firm underneath. So I can do 50 setups easy. I could do 50 press ups.

So I'm not, I'm not like completely, um, that's the second time a helicopter's gone past here today. Or it's like, what's going on earlier? I had a helicopter go past and it was really, it was so slow. It was almost like it was hovering above my head.

At one point it did look up, but there's nothing there. And you know what? I don't think I've been invaded by flies or have I? Last year, I don't remember if I had a, cause for a couple of years I've had invasion of flies. Literally there's one point at about 50 flies in there.

Couldn't figure out where the hell they were coming from. But this year, I don't mean this year as in the last 10 days, cause obviously, you know, um, it's not a whole year, is it? I'm just thinking pretty sure I didn't have any flies last year because it would have been during the summer. And I don't recall having an issue with flies during the summer at all.

Maybe the odd one, but not like before. Like the, the one year where I'd had absolutely loads of them. Now it happened again the following year, but not that many.

But I was like, where are they coming from? Because, you know, obviously we know where flies come from, but I couldn't see anywhere where they were like laying eggs and hatching and stuff. Cause I don't really have, I don't leave bags of rubbish around for long periods of time. So I couldn't, mind you, it doesn't take long, does it? Like a day.

It's amazing how, how much can happen in a day. I don't know why I started to think it. I know why I looked at the ceiling and there was something that looked like a fly, but it's not a fly.

It's just dust. Just dust, man. I need to tidy this place up.

I'm thinking about getting a green screen or blue screen to be behind me and then just add like a picture or something for my background. But do I need that? Does it matter? Or should I just do this for a while? And also thinking about getting some lights. There's a system of three lights.

One would be above me. One would be to the side and then one would be probably like to the front or to the kind of side of front. Or is lighting okay? I'm doing this at night.

So all I've got is the light up there. Now, is the lighting okay? Or do I need to get a lighting system? These are questions that you may wish to answer if you, especially if you're, if you're watching on YouTube, maybe you can sort of drop me a little message, just a comment. If you think I need more light in the video.

It's, I'm not, I'm not brilliant with stuff like that. And I've, I've got an editing suite that I started to use. And you may have noticed this, the videos at least have got an introduction, like some writing on there that flips up and there's a, there's a, an image of the podcast on there as well.

So I'll be doing that for all my videos. There'll be a video of whatever podcast is for. So when I do the, the daily hypnosis, relaxation, hypnosis session, I'll be doing that and there'll be the banner or the picture of that podcast in the corner of the video.

There'll be there for the duration. And I'll be doing that soon as well. I just need to finish.

I need to finish all of the uploading that I'm doing. And it really is taking forever and ever and ever and ever and uploading and updating the website. It's a real task.

I'm not even joking. It's really, really, really taken so long to the point where I almost want to just stop doing it because it's so tedious. I'd much rather just make new recordings, which is what I'm going to be doing anyway.

Just, Oh, come on. I feel like it's been so long since I made a hypnosis recording. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

I'm not sure how to do it. But there's loads of deep sleep whisper recordings I need to do to upload. And there's the relaxation hypnosis of stress, anxiety and panic attacks.

I'm doing those. But I'm literally, I've done 60 out of about 220. Now I'm just in the process of editing another 40 to bring up to 100.

And I've done 45 hour ones edited and now I'm, I've got another 18, 10 hour ones to edit, and then uploading them will take a day or two. So it's just, and that still leaves me with another 120 to do. It's just nonstop.

It's just, I know once it's done, it's done. And once they're done, I can then upload and update the website. And once the website's updated, it's done.

I don't have to upload the same stuff twice. Once it's done, every single recording will be available on my website. And the good thing about that is, if anything happens to the podcast in the future, as long as I got my website, all of that material, all of those recordings will still be alive, will still be available, will still be safe.

And that's important to me to have that. Really. I think it's, yeah, it's important.

I've got backups as well. Don't worry, I'm not, I'm not leaving everything in one place. So I've got, um, there's one, I've got it on my hard drive.

I got it on my one, two, three, four. So basically, I have four different places. So all my recordings on my podcast.

So I can download them from there whenever. So all my podcasts are on the podcasts, obviously. They're also all on my, or they will be all on my website.

They also will be on the hard drive as well, as well as being on iTunes, on iTunes, on the iCloud. So that's four different places where it's, they're all saved. So that's pretty good.

You know, it means I can't lose, the chance of me losing them is pretty much, you know, very unlikely. And what I will probably do is I will, at some point get another hard drive, a bigger hard drive, because the one I've got, I think is four terabytes. I think it's four, so should be big enough, but get another one and upload everything, but duplicate it basically, upload everything to there.

And then just pack it that, stick it, keep it in the box that it came in and just put it into the storage. So it's, you know, saved away. Yeah, that seems like a good idea.

In fact, I think it's a good idea to maybe do that every year. Every time I've got new recordings for the year, stick that on its own hard drive. So you know, 2022, have a separate hard drive just for that year, and then just store them away.

So every year, just put a date on it. And then everything's saved. Every video, every audio, all saved in one place.

Yeah. I mean, with the videos, they take up so much space. So I've got two terabytes on my iCloud.

The video, every video I do now, it's like this video will be about 25 gigabytes. Because it's, it should be 4k. Whether it looks like 4k or not, I don't know.

But it's about 25 gigabytes long, right? Long, size wise anyway, it's heavy. It's 25 gigabytes. That's how much it weighs.

And that's a lot. I mean, you think for 25 gigabytes, four of those gives you 100 gigabytes. And so 40 would be a terabyte.

That's crazy. So only 40 videos. So the two terabytes could only hold 80 videos.

So I'm gonna have to get some other hard drives. I'm not sure. I mean, you can get really large hard drives.

But it's okay. I can see the benefit of having like a 100 terabyte hard drive. And it costs a lot of money for that.

Something like that. If if it's even even if such a thing exists, I don't know. But again, you're in that same thing of everything in one place.

What happens if something happens to that that hard drive? Well, you know, you know. So in a way, it made more more sense to actually get lots of different hard drives. Ideally, a bigger one than what I've got.

I can get maybe I know you can get up to 16 terabytes, I think. So 40 videos, 40 videos for 220 videos a terabyte was that I said. So two, four, six, two, four, six, eight, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 240, 240 videos on a 12 terabyte.

240. There's a chance there's a chance once the videos once all the recordings are sorted out on my website. And this is only short term thing to the end of the month, I should have it all done.

I will then start to make regular. If I decide to, I don't know. But I'm definitely going to be making regular podcast recordings.

And if I stick to this idea of making a recording a video in all of the recordings, then that's going to be a lot of videos, a heck of a lot of videos, and a lot of space. So if I'm doing two, three, four videos a day, that's gonna be Yeah, that's a lot of huge amounts of space. And I know that they're saved on YouTube, I can download them from YouTube.

But for me, that's not a place to store stuff. You know, it's better to store it as a whistle. It's better store it on on a hard drive.

I wonder if he's a weird one. It might not be weird, but I wonder if I'm able to upload videos. To my website.

What if there's a there's a limit to that? I'm gonna I'm gonna look into that. Because if I can upload my videos to my website, as in, so other people can download them. Then that opens up a whole new possibility.

Another place to store. But also I don't think I would be able to. The other reason I'm just thinking because of the size, the sheer size.

25 gigabytes. I don't I don't know. I never ever even tried it.

25 gigabytes. So it's okay. Well, I got one here.

787. Let me bore you to sleep. Cancel that one.

So if I download that. 33.9 gigabytes. So that's that was a couple of days ago.

787. Let me bore you to sleep. 33.9 gigabytes.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

So I'm not sure. I want to test that. Because if it is possible, then what I will do, I will make my videos available for people to download.

If if they want to, they might not want to. But it's there, isn't it? It's just and also it's another place to store stuff. So it's another place to know that my things are safe.

I'm never going to give this website up. I've had other websites and I give them up because I only need one website. jasonnewland.com. This is the only one I need.

And I've had this for a long, long time. I feel I bought this domain about 2004. So yes, you know, nearly 20 years, 18 years.

And yeah, this got me thinking. Anyway, I'm going to go. So it's been a very low, low energy, fairly relaxing, pointless chat, because this has just been it is about just not really talking about anything of any interest.

It's interesting to me, but it's not going to be necessarily interesting to anyone else. And that's fine. Absolutely fine.

It's better than fine is groovy. So I'm going to go. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. And I will speak to you tomorrow.

Thank you. Bye.